In Which Addison has to Choose
The girl could just be confused… she could but somehow Meredith knew she wasn't. Meredith panicked as she walked closer to the edge of the dock. The sound of sirens and the hiss of water steaming off the wreckage of the burning boat didn't help as she stared into the sea hoping to see something… anything… a glimpse, a shadow… The little girl watched with huge eyes as Meredith leaned in closer, squinting into the water. The way the light angled across the surface made it impossible to see anything.
She glanced quickly over her shoulder at the little girl who stood there with fear etched all over her face. She looked up at her, lips trembling with unspoken words. Meredith shook her head ridding herself of her lab coat, "Stay here."
"Stay here," Meredith repeated again as she turned around back towards the water. She took a deep breath and dived into the water after Addison.
Meredith hit the water and it felt as though it shattered at her touch. Cold, was all Meredith could think as her body started to surface. Coming up above the water, she took in a huge breath of air before diving back underneath.
Violently she searched the rocky bottom of the deck. She heard the rasps and squeaks of the ferryboat that happened to only be a few yards away from where she swam. Where are you? She thought desperately as she searched, Where are you? Where… There.
Her heart nearly stopped. Floating only inches from the bottom of the sea, face down, was a lifeless body. That unmistakable red hair floated around her like an uncanny scarf… Meredith dove deeper into the water swimming like a lunatic down to her. She grab her up into her arms and turned her around to her… Her skin was blue, her face was static… She wasn't breathing. It was as if she were….
No. Meredith couldn't even think it. She wrapped her arms around Addison and with all the strength that she had left, she kicked off the bottom of the ocean towards the surface. Fighting like crazy to swim to the top with only one arm. Meredith's body felt like it was about to give up on her… it only made her fight harder. She couldn't give up on the love of her life.
Breaking the surface, Meredith's entire body shuddered at the sudden coldness. She took in a deep breath before looking over at Addison in horror. The redheaded floated on her back… it wasn't the water that made her skin look blue. She was blue… and her skin was frighteningly cold… her lips were purple. She wasn't breathing.
"Hey kid!" a Coast Guard calls out while walking up to the little girl standing on the dock staring out into the water, "Kid! You okay? You need to come with me… Kid?"
When the little girl doesn't respond, he picks her up and starts to carry her away. As he's walking away, he hears coughing and turns around to see Meredith walk onto the dock with a very blue and very lifeless Addison in her arms. He immediately hands the little girl down off to another Coast Guard and runs over to Meredith trying to help in any way that he can. They get Addison into an ambulance and they get her hooked up to the machines. They take off down the street towards Seattle Grace Hospital. Meredith, somewhat still in shock, is performing CPR on Addison.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5," Meredith counts aloud.
Paramedic shouts, "ETA's two minutes."
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5," Meredith continues CPR, unfortunately with no response.
The ambulance pulls into the ambulance bay at the hospital and the doors swing open to Dr. Bailey, "What do we got?"
"Jane Doe; hypothermic; drowning," the paramedic calls off.
Meredith shakes her head still doing CPR, "She's not Jane Doe, it's Addison Montgomery. It's Addison."
"Addison?" Bailey questions as they pull the gurney down. Meredith still won't let up on her, "Meredith, Meredith, how long she been down?"
"I don't know," Meredith just shrugs her off, "She's alive, she's alive."
"Meredith!" Bailey yells.
Meredith continues CPR, "She's alive."
"Ok, look. I need you to help me get her inside," Bailey shouts to a paramedic then turns to the other doctors behind her, "Clear a trauma bay, stat! Move it!"
They take off down the hall and into an empty trauma room. A distraught Meredith never left her side, she breathes heavily, "They put a 20 gauge IV in but I think it blew."
"I'll start a central line but you have to get out of the way," Bailey instructs Meredith but it's like she didn't even hear her.
Meredith continues talking, "We put 3 milligrams of epi down the ET tube…"
"Meredith!"
She continues talking, "...this was three minutes ago we should push―"
"Grey, get out!" Richard demands as he walks into the trauma room.
It's as if Meredith isn't even there anymore, she just continues speaking, "I think we should push just one atropine… I think I saw some reactivity in the pupils before the atropine and I think… she might have actually had some cardiac…"
"Grey, get out!" he tries again.
Meredith walks towards the cabinets, "We need to put an external pacer on just to be sure."
"We need to save her life. You can't do this, we need to do this. Now go! Go," he commands.
Meredith walks out into the hallway and slides down against the wall to the floor. She sits there holding her head in her hands as Dr. Burke walks into the hall and peeks in Addison's room. Dr. Burke, being his awkward self, didn't exactly know what to say to her.
He scratches his head, "The chief is working on her."
"He threw me out," is all she could manage to say.
He bends down in front of her, "What do you need?"
"I need you to go in there," she says simply.
Preston walks into the room as Richard is shouting out orders, "Give me a new warm blanket her temps still only at 80 degrees."
"What can I do?" Preston asks after assessing the situation.
Richard looks over to him, "She needs an ABG."
The monitors start going off and Richard panics, "Whoa, was that V-fib?" He grabs the paddles, "Charge to 300. Lets go, lets go, lets go. Clear."
He shocks her heart as Callie walks into the room. He watches the monitors, "Back to asystole. Keep compressions going."
"Oh, my god," Callie gasps.
Dr. Burke calls out, "She's hypothermic."
"Uh," Callie thinks, "have you tried a warm peritoneal lavage? Or even, a continuous bladder lavage with warm fluids? Could do a thoracotomy…"
"Get back to the ABG. Come on, lets go people," Richard calls out.
Miranda looks down at her friend concerned at how blue her skin is. She calls out, "How's her temp?"
"Only up to 81 now".
"Come on, Addison. Don't do this," Callie says under her breath before glancing out the door into the hallway at Meredith.
She's still sitting there against the wall with her head in her hands. Mark walks into the hallway spotting her as his heart sinks. He'd heard the rumors throughout the halls but he really didn't expect it to be true… or at least he hoped it wasn't. However, seeing Meredith right now… he knows the worst has truly happened. He walks up to her and looks down at her. They don't need words. All Meredith had to do was look up at him and nod… he knew. Mark sits down next to her and puts his hand on her arm. Meredith's head goes immediately back into her heads as Mark stares off into the room.
They paged Izzie to come in because neither of the guys knew what to do. Alex and George have been standing on the other side of a door looking down the hall at Meredith for the past twenty minutes. They watched as she got kicked out the room, they watched as she give up in utter defeat… They even watched as Mark walked right past them to go comfort Meredith. Thankfully, Cristina and Izzie walks up to them.
Cristina cutting right to the chase asks, "It's Addison?"
"Yeah," Alex nods.
Cristina shakes her head, "Are you sure? Did you see her? Because it could be…"
"It's Addison," Alex says putting his hand on her arm.
Cristina looks down to the ground, "Oh. Oh. Oh."
"She will come through this," Izzie starts.
George shakes his head, "You don't know that."
"She will come through this."
"People die," George shrugs her off.
Izzie refuses to give up, "I know people die. People die in front of us everyday but I believe Addison will survive this. I believe… I believe… I… I believe in the good. I believe that it's been a Hell of year and in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary we will all be ok. I believe a lot of things. I believe that… I believe that Denny is always with me. And I believe that if I eat a tub of butter and no one sees me the calories don't count. And I believe that surgeons who prefer staples over stitches are just lazy. And I believe that believing we survive, is what makes us survive."
"Fuck… Meredith," Cristina says walking through the doors.
The others watch as she joins Meredith only the floor. Izzie turns away from them, "She's gonna be okay."
"Push another epi," Richard calls out then turns to Miranda, "How many is that?"
"This is our fourth one, sir," she answers simply.
Preston shakes his head, "We've been here 20 minutes."
"Still in asystole."
"We're losing her," Richard says as Addison flatlines.
I wake up coughing and sputtering up water. I don't know where I am… These bright lights are very reminiscent of a hospital room. I'm in a hospital room laying on a gurney… Someone found me. I sit up in my bed and sitting next to my bed in my chair is my best friend, Savannah.
Savannah smiles, "Hi."
"Hey…?" I reply staring at Savannah in disbelief. Savannah died five years ago to breast cancer… She couldn't be here… Unless… "Am I…? Dead?"
"Damn right you are," a voice says from my other side.
I turn around to him to see that it's Denny, "Holy…"
"Chief, I know the hypothermia is protective to her vital organs but how much longer do you think we can go on like this?"
"I've seen people last as long as four hours."
"Yeah," Miranda nods, "but…"
"No, this is not…" Richard tries shaking his head, "this is Addison Montgomery. This is my…"
"We're all on the same side here, Chief," Burke interrupts.
Richard nods his head then looks at the monitors, "Her body temp is at 86 degrees. She's not dead until she's warm and dead. We need to warm her up to 98.6 and start her heart."
"Yes, sir."
"Let's do a gastric lavage with warm fluids," Richard orders.
Callie's pager goes off and as she's about to exit, Miranda calls after her, "Callie."
"I have to go it's, uh, my Jane Doe," she says looking at her pager.
Miranda nods, "Just… they're waiting for you so… whatever you choose to say will…"
"Addison," Denny calls out to me but I can't move… I can't speak. I look over to him, "She's freaking out."
"She's not freaking out," Savannah argues.
Denny shakes his head at her, "People tend to freak out."
"Trust me, she's fine. Okay, mister, I've been dead longer… I know everything."
"You know what? That's why I don't like to be here with you." He sighs, "Because you don't assess the situation, you just dive right in."
"Alright, you wanna do this now or you wanna do this later?" she puts her hands on her hips.
I just sit here watching it all unfold. Denny bucks, "Oh, I wanna do this now."
"You wanna do this now? I will kick your ass anytime. I'm the one with the good heart."
"You're gonna kick my…"
"This is a brain thing," I say cutting them off, "This is the ketamine neurotransmitter, right?"
"No."
"Cause you think if this were my brain doing this, the first person I'd want to see, no offense…" I say as Milo jumps on the bed, "Milo! Bud! Good kitty! Hi! Hi, handsome!"
"Addison," Savannah bends down looking me in my eyes, "this is not your brain on drugs. This is death. You are dead. You're really freaking dead, dirt nap dead, no more, you died."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Way to harsh! Remember we're gonna take it easy. That was not easy," Denny says to her then turns to me, "Addison, you drowned in the Elliot Bay. You remember that?"
"Yeah, that sucked," I say still petting Milo, "Who's a good boy? Who's the best cat?"
"Oh," Denny gives up walking back over to Savannah, "this is gonna take awhile."
"We don't have a while. She's running out of time."
"Who's the best cat?" I continue loving on my kitty. I've missed him.
Callie takes a deep breath before walking out into the hall where Meredith immediately jumps up from the floor screaming, "Tell me!"
"Her temps still only 86," Callie pauses, "There's still no heartbeat. Were hoping once she warms up…"
"I wanna go in there," Meredith starts for the door.
Callie blocks her, "No."
"I need to go in there."
"Meredith, you can't. Not for Addison, not for anybody. You're in no shape," Callie tries to explain to her as she holds her back.
Finally, Alex, Izzie and George come down the hall to join them. George rests his hand on Callie's shoulder and she just shakes her head, "It's not good."
"Is she still cyanotic?" Alex asks concerned, "What was her initial temp? What is taking so long?"
"Dr. Karev!" Callie yells shutting him up, "It's not good. They're doing everything they can. You should maybe… prepare yourselves. I have to go, my Jane Doe is awake."
"I'm coming with you," George says following Callie down the hall as Meredith turns around walking off in the other direction.
Izzie and Alex, not knowing what to do, slide down the wall sitting on the floor beside Cristina and Mark. Cristina shakes her head, "Prepare ourselves? That's what we tell the families before we call time of death."
"She's gonna be okay," Izzie says for about the hundredth time today.
Alex sighs, "Sometimes you're wrong."
"Uh-huh," Cristina stands up shaking her head, "No!"
"Cristina," Izzie calls after her.
She stares into Addison's room for a second to see her lifeless body lying still on the gurney, "I'm not doing this."
"Cristina," Izzie calls after her as she walks away in the same direction as Meredith. Izzie leans back against wall and says mostly to herself, "She's gonna survive this. She's gonna survive this. She's gonna survive this. She's gonna survive this. She's gonna survive this."
"Addison! Addison!" a voice calls out and I sit up in my hospital bed to see Lillie sitting at the end of the bed, "I don't know if you remember me. I was your first patient. I died from…"
"Stage IV ovarian cancer," I finish for her as another woman walks in and stands at the end of the bed, "Kara?"
"She remembers me," she says to Lillie then looks back to me, "You remember."
How could I forget? You bled out in my arms… I think to myself.
Lillie nods, "You were a very important part of her life."
"What are all of you doing here?" I ask, "Is this…"
"It's not heaven," Kara shakes her head.
Denny tries to explain, "We're here because you called us here."
"I didn't," I shake my head turning to my best friend, "Did I?"
"Tell us about the water, Addison," Savannah says simply.
"I'm in. Start the warm fluids."
"Hold CPR."
"Anything?" Richard asks.
Preston scratches his head, "The heart is still, no movement. No fibrillation."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
"Restarting CPR," Miranda announces as Izzie walks into the room.
Richard yells immediately, "Stevens, get out of here!"
"I just…" her voice trails off as she fully takes in Addison's desolate body, "oh my god."
"Go back outside and wait with Meredith, Mark and Cristina," Miranda orders.
Izzie stutters, "M-meredith a-and Cristina aren't… um, they left."
"They left in the middle of their shift?" Preston asks, "Where did they go?"
"Addie, I need you to understand. This is important. You can't screw around," Savannah explains to me.
Obviously, I don't want to talk. Why does she keep trying? Just leave me alone… Where's Milo? I look around for my cat then I call out, "Milo?"
"Addison, there's no time for that," she yells, "You don't have the time and we don't have the time."
"I drowned, that's all," I say finally giving in, "I drowned."
"Addison, please. Listen to us, you have to listen to us. You have to… oh, no!" Kara shouts as she starts to bleed out.
Panicked, I get Kara onto a gurney. "Charge the paddles. You heard me. Charge the paddles," I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. Memories from the first time this happened comes rushing back into my mind. Derek looks at me sadly, "Addison, it's been 20 minutes. She's gone… She's gone… Addison… Addison! She's gone." Trying to pack the wound, I look down at my hands that are covered in blood. I call out, "I can't find the source of this bleeding. I need gloves and surgical towels."
"It happens with Kara, honey, you just gotta ride it," Lillie explains after appearing at my side.
I shake my head, "I can save her. I can start her on an IV."
"There's no point."
"Go to the OR and get me sterilized surgical instruments. Go! Go!" Lillie walks away and fades into the wall. Suddenly Kara is gone and I'm left standing in an empty room with Savannah.
She sighs looking at me, "Addison, are you ready to talk about this now or you wanna waste some more time?"
"It's been over an hour. Is it...?" Miranda pauses, "We need to prepare for the possibility that she…"
"Look, she is young, she is healthy. Her temps going up and it's gonna keep going up and her heart will start again. It's the only possibility I'm prepared for," Richard says not listening to anything else Miranda has to say.
She glances out into the hall where Mark, Izzie and Alex are waiting. Miranda steps out into the hall, "Mark, I'm putting you in charge of my interns. Put 'em to work, anywhere but here."
"No, we can't," Alex shakes his head.
Izzie nods, "Yeah, we want to stay here."
"You're concerned, I understand. But there's been a disaster and there's work to be done. Go," Miranda instructs as she walks back into the room, "now!"
"Alright, they need bodies down in the ER. Let's go down there," Mark and Alex start to walk off but Izzie doesn't move. He turns around to her, "Hey, Bailey's right. We can't help Addison, all we can do is sit around and go crazy."
"I can't… I can't… I need to be here."
"Izzie! We're all freaked. We just need to stay out of the way, got it? Let's go."
"So, all of you just disappear at will?" I ask Savannah as we stand at a nurses' station.
Kara appears out of nowhere and Savannah rolls her ears turning to me, "What happened?"
"I drowned, that's it."
"Really? Then why are we here?" Kara interrupts.
I shrug, "Again…"
"I can't do this, if you're gonna keep saying your drowned," she says as her car accident wound starts hurting again, "Do you have any idea how much that hurts?"
"You know, when I came to you at the scene, you were so brave, so strong…"
"I was in shock! And you know, in retrospect, what happened to me, really sucked. I was young and beautiful and in love. I was going to be a mother, I had a beautiful baby girl and then I was dying," she pauses looking at me angrily, "And here you are all happy and perky to be dead."
"You think I want to be here?" I snap defending myself, "I swam, I fought hard, the water was cold."
"Alright, but that thing in the tub, what was that?" Denny asks as he and Lillie appears at my side.
I shake my head, "It wasn't anything it was… wait, you see me in the tub?"
"I do not see women in the bathtub. I wish I saw women in the…" he pauses, "we know things."
"You had to think about it," Savannah starts, "No daughter of Bizzy Forbes could…"
"This is so not a Bizzy thing," I cut her off right there. Maybe it is?
Lillie nods, "Ahh, it's a Derek and Mark thing."
"I would never…"
"You would. I know crappy things have happened to you but how can you be a surgeon and have so little respect for life. How…" Kara pauses as she starts to bleed out again, "oh come on."
"Meredith!" Cristina calls out as she follows Meredith out of the hospital, "Meredith!"
"It's my fault," Meredith admits when she finally turns around to her best friend.
Cristina shakes her head, "Don't."
"See, I knew what was going on and I wasn't there for her," Meredith wipes the tears away from her face.
Cristina motions her over near the benches, "You are human."
"She was pulling away from me and I just… it's just…"
"You think…" Cristina pauses, "you think that she went in the water on purpose?"
"She knows how to swim… she's a good swimmer," she admits as she willingly lets the tears fall.
Cristina shakes her head, "Meredith, you don't know that she… no, you do not get to break down, you don't get to fall apart. Not when there's still a chance and there still is a chance, Meredith."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"I need to get in there and find the source of this bleeding," I call out from the floor as I'm trying to stop the bleeding.
Savannah just sits there watching me, "Uh, see Addie, it's just gonna happen again."
"Where is something to wipe up this blood?" I ask as Kara disappears.
Denny appears with a smile on his face, "Fool me once…"
"Yeah, show up now and be a smart ass," Savannah rolls her eyes, "We have a job to do. Where were you?"
"It's a waste of time, she's either gonna get it or she's not."
"Get what?" I ask finally.
Denny turns around to me, "The way I see it, it doesn't matter how you got here. You're either in this thing or you're not, there's no in between. And this socialite here can get pissed off because for all her tough talk, she's no different than Kara. She's stuck."
"And you're not?" I ask.
He shakes his head, "No."
"Oh, please," Savannah says rolling her eyes.
Denny sighs, "I had a good life. I helped when I could… I just wish I could've married Izzie."
"What about another epi?" Richard asks.
Miranda shakes her head, "We've been pushing epi for an hour and a half now."
"Check another lead."
"Asystole in three leads, sir."
"What about her temp?"
"Down to 86 degrees."
"86? It's 86 now? It was 89."
"Afterdrop phenomenon," Miranda shrugs then thinks, "What about a cardiopulmonary bypass? We can do it here."
"Page Burke and the surgical team," Richard yells to a resident, "Get them here now!"
I run into the nearest OR and start going through drawers. Savannah's watching overhead from the gallery and speaks into the intercom, "What are you looking for?"
"Something strong," I explain, "The next time Kara decides to bleed out I'm gonna dope her to high heaven and then I'm gonna…"
"Why are we still talking about her?"
"If I could find the source…"
"She can't be saved."
"This isn't fair. I could save her. If you'd just give me a chance I could save her," I turn around to yell at her and now she's standing right beside me.
She grabs my shoulders and looks me directly in the eyes, "What happened in that water?"
"I swam. I fought."
"No you didn't!" she yells at me, "And you can't stay here, Addison."
"I don't want to!"
"Yeah, you do. It's easier," she starts, "But you can't because Meredith's mom is sick… because Izzie lost Denny… and Mark… when he was little his mom died in a car accident and his father became so emotionally distant that he might as well been orphaned. And Miranda…"
"Stop!" I yell as the tears start to fall from my eyes.
Savannah yells, "They are barely breathing! This will break them… None of them deserves that. And this… this is the big one. See pay attention! Do you know what kind of miracle it is that Meredith is who she is? Do you know how rare it is that someone like even exists? Even though she tries to hide it, she's still an optimist. She still believes in true love and magic and soulmates. She's waiting for you and if you don't come back from this, you will change who she is."
"Oh, God," I say burying my face into my hands as I cry. I look up to Savannah and she's gone. I'm alone.
Meredith walks back into the hospital with Cristina and they start to make their way back to Addison's room until Meredith stops suddenly. Cristina gives her a look and she shakes her head, "I'm gonna… stay here. You go. Please… I-I can't."
"Okay," Cristina nods walking away as Meredith goes to have a seat in the waiting area.
"Who you here for?"
"What?"
"I'm waiting on my wife; car hit her. Can you believe that? On the ferry… She was run over on the ferry," the guy sitting next to her explains, "They haven't said much. Hard as hell to get any of these people to talk to ya."
"Yeah, I'm, uh, my girlfriend was there too. And I don't know… I don't know what's gonna happen."
"It's out of our hands, it's up to the doctors now."
"Yeah."
"What's her name?"
"Addison."
"I'll put her in my prayers."
"Thanks."
"I was swimming, I was fighting. And then I thought, just for a second, I thought, 'what's the point?' And then I let go, I stopped fighting," I explain while sitting on the floor in the hallway with Savannah and Denny then I whisper, "Don't tell anybody."
"Okay," Savannah nods but then Denny stops her and smiles.
I look at him funnily, "What?"
"Izzie," he says after a moment.
Shocked, I ask, "You can see her?"
"No," he explains, "Sometimes we'll be in the same place at exactly the same time and… I can almost hear her voice. It's like I'm touching her. I like to believe she knows I'm there. That's all you get, that's it. Moments with the people you love and they'll move on and you'll want them to move on. But still, Addison, that's all you get. Moments."
"Is this really happening?"
"I don't know. This is your afterlife, not mine," Savannah says and when I look up to her, she's gone… And Denny's gone too.
"Bailey, what's her temp?"
"We're up to 96."
"It's good," Richard nods, "Good, alright."
"Now we just have to get her heart beating," Miranda says.
Preston takes charge, "Okay, draw an ABG, push one of epi, a gram of mac and an amp of calcium."
I walk into the ER where Denny, Lillie and Savannah are and I flop down on the bed next to them, "I don't wanna be here. I wanna go back."
"We were told there wasn't a lot of time," Savannah explains.
There's a tightening in my chest as I look up to her, "I'm out of time?"
"Well, were not sure love," Lillie explains.
I start to cry, "Oh god! I can't… I want… I had intimacy issues."
"Yeah."
"Do you know how stupid that seems now?" I ask looking up to them.
Denny nods, "Yeah, I do."
"It's not enough," I get out between cries, "It's not enough, just a whiff of Meredith… I need to go back. Please, I can't… I can't."
"How many epi's is that?" Richard asks for about the billionth time in the past two hours.
Miranda answers, "Six."
"What's the eternal pacer?"
"It's not catching," Preston explains.
Richard shakes his head, "What's the external body temp?"
"98."
"So she's warm…" Richard trails off.
Preston nods, "Yes."
"And dead," Richard says simply.
Miranda shouts when the monitor beeps, "V-fib, that looks like v-fib."
"Shock her at 300," Richard orders.
"Charge"
"Clear."
"You can not give up, you understand me? Do you know how much time and effort and energy and resources and… drugs… you cannot give up," Miranda whispers to Addison then announces, "Turning the pacer up to max."
"If there was any ounce of activity the pacer would have picked it up."
"She's been on bypass for almost an hour," Miranda sighs.
Just when they were about to give her, Cristina bursts into the room. Miranda looks at her crazily, "Cristina?"
"Try again," she says simply and when no one moves, she yells, "Try again!"
"Okay," Miranda nods, "one more round of ACLS drugs."
"One more," Richard nods.
"Oh, I can't… I can't breathe."
"This will pass," Savannah rubs circles on my back.
I shake my head, "It won't. It feels like…"
"Addison…" she stops me and I look up. Down at the end of the hallway are bright lights. I turn back to Savannah and she looks at me then yells, "Addison, run!"
The monitor beeps, "Sinus brady."
"Okay."
"We got a heartbeat!" Miranda shouts.
Preston listens with his stethoscope, "We got it."
"She's breathing on her own?"
"She is."
"She's been down a long time. Do we know the brain function yet?"
"We don't know."
"Um, Saroyan? Does…"
"I haven't paged her yet. I wanted… I'm giving them more time. Come on."
I hear a door close… and I can feel something touching my feet. I try to open my eyes but they hurt too much… I try to speak but my mouth feels so dry. My body feels heavy and everything is heavy… Am I dead? Is this what death really is? Just a big black thing of nothingness.
"Did you just say something? Did you just speak?" a voice says. I know that voice… It's Meredith. I feel her hand graze softly along my face as she speaks up again, "Okay, Addie, I don't understand you. Try… try again… try again for me, okay? What… I… I can't? Please, please don't be… Your brain works, okay? So all you need to do is form a word, please."
"Ouch," I manage to say as I slowly open my eyes.
Meredith is smiling down at me as she wipes the tears from her face, "Oh, god. Oh, hi! Oh my god, Addison! Thank you for not dying."
"Biz―"
"Shh, don't try to talk now… I know. I know about Bizzy. I know what happened but I just, I wanted you to be the one to tell me and I'm sorry for giving up… I'm sorry for giving you space… I'm sorry for not trying hard enough to get you to open up to me. I won't ever let you slip away from me again… Do you hear me? I'm tired of this almost dying crap… you with the drowning and me with the bomb… I can't," she says as she starts to cry, "I can't live not knowing you'll be there everyday with me… Addison, I know you took it back but… I'll marry you. I want to marry you."
Posted. :) Sooooooo... what did you think? Do you like it? Do you love it? No? You hate it? :( However you feel, let me know down below. And while you're still here, check out my new story Gone. I love hearing from you guys and I really do hope you enjoyed this chapter.