Warning for sickness and hospitalization. Modern au!

No it's not about the virus.

It's to protect you.

You know that. But Jiraiya's choice... hurts for some reason. You watch through the glass as your husband gets a check up. He's shirtless as Tsunade observed him. He nods along to whatever she's saying. His eyes flicker away out of boredom and notices you. He raised his hand and waved.

You return it. It's hard to tell if he's smiling behind his face mask. He blows you a pretend kiss. You catch it and press it against your chest. You long to be near him.

A few days ago Jiraiya began to develop a rash. He pushed it off as one of those weird things. Probably allergies or something nothing major. But then it began to blister and get painful. Painful enough to finally agree to see a doctor. Even then he would only see his dear friend. Tsunade is talented and dedicated to her work. She'd be straight with him too.

"Shingles?!" He exclaimed when he got his diagnosis.

"Yeah. It's common with anyone over fifty who had chickenpox."

He huffed and sunk down a little, embarrassed at reality of what getting older means. You stood beside him and pet his head. He looked at you and his expression changed to worry. He got up and shuffled back from you.

"You shouldn't even be in here! I got a virus."

You argued with him. But he insisted. He didn't want to chance getting you sick. Due to your medical history it could be a problem. Tsunade agreed with him. You shouldn't even be in the hospital. It's sorta a cesspool for diseases.

It's also peak tourist season for Konoha. So there's no hotel rooms available and no one was willing to take Jiraiya in. And he didn't want to displace you out of the house. Nor did he really want to plunk you in a friend's house and possibly get exposed to more germs. Luckily there's a quarantine room available in the hospital.

It's a little overboard isn't it? But it's a sweet gesture all the same. Locking himself away so you have the house all to yourself. He scratches at his shoulder mindlessly which earned him a smack on the hand from Tsunade. She scolds him for doing that.

"One more time and I'm taping oven mitts onto your hands!" She warned.

"Don't do that! I'm not a child!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

He pouts at her. She finished getting him settled in for the rest of the afternoon and night. She left, scrubbing out by the sink beside the room. She didn't have much to report to you. Only that it should go away in a week or a little longer. His condition is late stage when he came in so it was mostly done running its course.

You turn your gaze back to your husband. He peeled his mask off and is running his fingers through his hair. He locks eyes with you. He gets off of the hospital bed and makes his way to the glass where you are.

"Hey." His voice was slightly muffled.

"Hi."

"It's gonna be okay, babe. I'll be out before you know it."

You nod. It's less enthusiastic and more a solemn acceptance. It's been years since you've spent time away from him. You don't like it. You aren't used to it anymore. He rests his hand on the glass. You smile the best you can and place it aligned with his. He offers you a huge cheesy over the top smile before kissing the glass. It left a big smudge from his spit and body oil.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Visiting hours are over."

You look to your left to see a nurse. Must be making the rounds to inform everyone.

"Okay. I'll leave." You whisper.

You look back over to Jiraiya. He tells you everything will be fine. You tell him you know that. You leave. You go home alone. You sit on the couch in your silent house. With a sigh you pull out your phone. You already got a text from him.

'Make it home okay?' It read.

'Yeah. How you feeling?' You reply.

It took some time to send. Annoyingly, with the hospital being in the older part of town the reception on his end is terrible. Calling would probably won't last long without it dropping. Which is okay. You and him are more texting type of people anyways.

'Fine. Tired but isn't everyone when they're sick?'

'Yeah. Get some rest, honey.'

'Okay.'

He finishes it off with a couple of hearts. You do feel a little better. You go to bed but find it hard to fall asleep without him beside you.

The next day you go back. It bothered him. Jiraiya is always worried about your health and being surrounded by other people who are sick. You got a mask on. You sanitize. You don't touch anything unless you gotta. You lift up the paper bag you got in your hands. You are at your spot in front of the glass and he's on the other side with a disapproving scowl.

"I guess you don't want a change of clothing? Or do the crosswords I brought you?" You ask.

He pouts as he crosses his arms. He hates being in the same clothing especially after sleeping in them. And he must be bored out of his mind being stuck here. Even if he does have a phone and charger on him. He doesn't have many games on his device and all of them need decent connection.

"Okay. Thanks love." He finally said. He raised his finger to you in warning. "Limit yourself to once a day. I don't want you coming and going and catching something."

"Okay. I promise."

He opened his mouth to say more but was cut off by coughing. Even if there's a plane of glass in between you and him he still turned away. He coughed into his elbow. Not little ones but big racking coughs that shake his body.

"Sorry. That snuck up on me." He said with a voice much more gravelly and congested.

"How long have you been coughing?" You ask.

"I woke up from coughing this morning at like four am."

Now that's worrisome. Shingles doesn't cause coughing. It's only old person chickenpox to put it very simply. He must have caught something.

"I'm fine, babe. Maybe I got a weird mutation or caught another virus walking in." He waved it off. "There's nothing to worry about."

"I'm still going to worry."

"I know you will. But I'll still tell you that I'm okay."

He placed his hand on the glass again. You mimic him. If only you could touch him. You miss him greatly. His warmth. His presence. He feels so far away.

"What ya thinking about?" He asks.

"How much I miss you."

He smiles at you, lopsided and bashful. His thumb moves back and forth along the glass, longing to touch you too. It's only been a day but it's felt like an eternity. Stuck in this prison of his own making. Staring at the same four walls. Being self conscious as people watch him when they go by. Getting treated like a disease ridden animal by the nurse assigned to take care of him. But they only do that because a certain someone thinks she's funny and told the nurses he's a highly contagious flea bitten mongrel ready to infect the masses with his condition x. It's not funny no matter how much she chuckles from the other side of the glass watching her timid nurses approach him like he's feral.

You are much sweeter than his friend. Honestly he could use some of your sugarcoated assurances. And your cuddles. Soon. Once he gets over this bug.

"I love you. Thanks for bringing me stuff." Jiraiya said.

"I love you too. You're welcome."

He blew hot air onto the glass to fog it. He drew a heart that framed your face from his perspective before kissing the middle of it. He can be so cheesy when in isolation. A nurse drops by with his next meal. He wasn't exaggerating when he said they are treating him like he bites off fingers. That nurse was in and out of his room in record time, dropping off the tray of food on the little side table beside his bed before nearly flying out of there.

He starts coughing again. You watch with a frown as he nearly hacks up his lung. You can almost see the stars in his vision as he shakes it off. Tears formed in his eyes from the force of it and he wiped them away with his palm.

"I'm alright. It's no worse than when I get the flu."

"I hardly get to see that." You remind him.

When he's gotten sick with the flu in the past he would go to the spare bedroom in the house and be very careful around you. No sharing any cups or utensils. He'll sit away from you on the couch. Even if he feels like hot garbage and is absolutely exhausted from sickness he'll sanitize the knobs and handles he's touched. If it's more than a light cough or the sniffles he'll go as far as to book himself a hotel room and spend his sickness there. He's terrified of getting you sick. Your immune system is weak. It's downright nonexistent and fragile. He won't risk it.

"Let me languish and complain alone in my hotel room. At least from there I know you're safe and healthy." He would say.

He even did it during holidays. Sometimes you spent them only FaceTiming your husband.

You know that won't ever change. Just look at him now. He found a solution when he got sick during peak tourist season. It's just lonely.

He smiles at you, weak and apologetic. He looks exhausted after that.

"I think I'm going to lie down for awhile."

You understand. Luckily Tsunade was popping by to check on his vitals and condition. You hand her the bag before she goes in. She too assures you that it's probably just a virus that he got either when he got his check up or he picked it up before that and it's just showing signs now since his immune system was focused on the rash.

"I'll give him something to help fight it off." She said.

"Thanks. I really appreciate it." You reply.

You look back over to the room where Jiraiya was on his side. He's half picking at his lunch half dozing. Not wanting to disturb her process with you staring, you make yourself leave. It would just be torture to sit there and not do anything as he got checked over.

Tonight you called him. You want to hear his voice. Just after dinner is served in the hospital you dialled his number. He still sounded phlegmy. But he said he was fine. Tsunade medded him up with some regular strength flu medication, the type one can get from a store, to help fight his symptoms. He's feeling better with them. Plus he got some drug store cough syrup too to take before bed to soothe his throat.

"Your throat hurts?" You ask.

"A little. It's like any ordinary flu. Cough. Sore throat. Fatigue. I'm fine. Tsunade says she doesn't suspect it's anything worse."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. She took some blood just to be thorough but so far my tests are coming back as expected."

"No surprises?"

"No surprises." Jiraiya confirms. "Relax. Every-!"

"Hello?"

You pull your cell away from your ear to check the screen. A notification pops up saying lost connection with caller. You sigh. Damn crappy hospital reception. A text rolls in a couple of minutes later from him apologizing for it.

'Not your fault it just sucks.' You text back.

'That it does. I guess I'll take it as a sign to go to sleep. You should too. Love you!'

Texting all at once isn't his usual style. But considering the reception is being crappier than usual he most likely wanted to get it all he wanted to say to you before it dropped again.

'Love you too.' You reply.

You set your phone on your bedside table. You flop down into bed. It's even harder to sleep. Jiraiya isn't exactly better. He feels out of reach. More than he did yesterday. You grab his pillow and bury your face against it. It still smells like him. It's old and cold. But it is comforting. As if he's closer but somehow still very far. It takes awhile but you fall asleep.

You wake up late. Guess you must have been more tired than you thought. You roll away from your husband's side of the bed and reach to your nightstand. You feel around and finally find your phone. You grip it and bring it to rest beside your head. You flip it to its side to face you and hit the home button.

Several missed texts from Jiraiya. All of them spanning from about two hours ago.

You unlock your phone and open messages.

You sit up swiftly. You reread them again to make sure you aren't seeing things.

At first he was complaining that he didn't sleep very well. He felt hot then cold all night in spurts which made it hard to fall asleep. Then he admitted he wasn't feeling the best today.

'I hate telling you that I don't feel any better. But lying to you would only make it worse when you see me.'

Well that's awful and cryptic! And it only gets worse!

'I don't mean to freak you out. But something weird did come up with one of my blood tests.'

You get up and get dressed as quickly as you can.

'They're doing more tests. That's all they've told me.'

You fly out the door and make way to the hospital as quickly as you can. You run to the observation quarantine room your husband is stuck in. Your hands hit the glass, announcing your arrival loudly. Jiraiya is sitting in bed, working on one of the crosswords you gave him. Your approach caught his attention. He looks up.

Immediately he sets everything down and gets up. He makes his way over and stands across from you. Now that he's closer you can see that he's much worse. Paler. That little walk looked like it took all his energy. He's breathing heavily and his face has a sheen of sweat. He certainly isn't healthy. The only good thing is that his rash is almost completely gone. Despite that he still smiles and does what he's done since he's gotten here. He rests his hand on the glass where your hand is.

"You look awful." Jiraiya said quietly. You almost didn't hear him.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

A weak smirk pulls at his lips. Even in the worst of circumstances you and him can break ice.

"Do they know what this is?" You ask.

"No. They're still waiting on results..."

The way he trailed off. You know he has more to say.

"But?" You encourage him.

"But... Tsunade said something about white blood count or something that looks like..."

"Looks like what?"

He sighs. He rubs his eyes.

"The oncologist looked at me this morning and it just freaked me out."

Your heart sank. Anything to do with oncology isn't good. Something very odd must have come up with his tests to get an expert in cancer to look at him. But to also keep him in the dark about it is cruel. Yes they don't want to panic him and by extent you but still... some kind of clear answer would be nice.

"If it's cancer then at least I can be with you." Jiraiya said after a moment. "Last I checked that's not contagious."

"Jiraiya..."

"Relax babe. Whatever it is, I'd like to make the most of it."

He leans against the glass. He looks exhausted. By how quickly he's developed symptoms there's a possibility that if it is cancer then it's fast acting. What if you don't got a lot of time left with him? His face crinkles up and his breath hitches.

He braces against the glass as he turns his head into the crook of his elbow and has a fit. It's times like these you wish you could rub his back. He's shaky by the end of it. After a quiet groan he untucks his face from his elbow and looks dazed.

But...

There's blood.

You stare at it. The splash of blood staining his lips and beading at the corner. He smacks his lips. You don't even have to say anything. He knows something isn't right by now you're staring at him. He presses his fingers against his mouth and pulls them back to look. His eyes widen.

"That... hasn't happened before." He spoke softly. He swayed on his feet. He braced against the wall with his side and slid down to the floor. "I don't..."

You couldn't stand around anymore. You turned towards the hall and called for help. You kept turning back to see your husband curled up on the ground, paler and still.

It didn't take long to get the attention of someone. A doctor and a handful of nurses heeded your call. But it hardly went smoothly. One of them held you back. You struggled to get free as the doctor punched in the code to open the door to run into the quarantine room. They know not to let you in. No matter how you plead with them.

All you can do it watch helplessly. Now rendered near unconscious from the coughing, Jiraiya was more or less a rag doll. The doctor and his aids manipulated his body to be laying on his back. They checked his vitals and airways.

"He's stable. Let's get him to bed." The doctor directed.

All together they scooped your man off of the floor and carry him to the bed in the room. They stood around him, quietly discussing what could have caused this reaction and what to do for medication.

You were escorted to a chair in the hall. All you could do is cry. Tsunade was paged in to check on Jiraiya after the incident. She showed up a few minutes later holding a folder. She sat down beside you.

"What's wrong with him?" You ask in a croaky voice.

"I have good news. And bad news."

She let you look at the folder but you know nothing about what all the long words mean. She informed you that she had just finished writing up a diagnosis and treatment when she got the page. It's not a new illness or untreatable. It's actually one of the oldest diseases around. But that doesn't make it any less deadly.

Tuberculosis.

It was a surprise but once she explained her theory it made sense. The shingles caused a reaction. The stress on his immune system to react to the rash and sores left him vulnerable to the remission tuberculosis he had. It reactivated and went along unnoticed until it was nearly too late.

You do remember when he got it the first time. It was years ago while abroad for work. Which was awful since he had to stay longer in that land while he recovered. You didn't see him for an additional month. He got over it and got vaccinated right after but he was warned that it could linger around in his body and that he's more vulnerable to it even with a vaccine.

You raise your gaze to the room he's locked up in. He's half awake, watching as a nurse stuck him with an IV. His drip has a cocktail of drugs to help him fight off the symptoms and hopefully will get him better. You were told that these drugs are pretty strong and come with some intense side effects. Of which was made plain and clear as the nurse dragged forward the trash bin that was by the foot of the bed to be at head level. All he has to do is roll over and barf if he's gotta barf.

"Will he survive?" You ask.

"His chances are good."

"But not a guarantee."

Tsunade didn't say yes or no. She didn't have to. But she did tell you she wanted to test you. There's a chance that the tuberculosis could've passed to you if it decided to act up a day or two after he got shingles. You agreed. A sickness like that could kill you with hardly any effort. Before leaving to follow her you look back to Jiraiya. He's looking at you too. A weak smile grows on his lips and he raises his hand. It looked like a hard task for him but he still did it. He waved. You wave back.

After giving a vial or two of blood you went home. You were out of it and didn't pay attention to how much you gave. It was past visiting hours. You did cheat a little and take a long out of the way route to see Jiraiya before you left. He was sleeping. But his phone was resting beside him on the bed, at the ready to be answered.

It's the first time he's ever looked... weak.

It was even harder to fall asleep tonight. The thought of your husband struggling to breathe haunted your thoughts. It's late. It's quiet. But you are compelled. Laying in bed you grab your phone and unlock it. You open his contact and hit call.

"Hello?..." Jiraiya answered after only a couple of rings. His voice is weak and hoarse.

"Hi." You reply quietly.

"Hey babe. What's up?"

"Nothing... I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Aw. That's cheesy."

"Don't tease me... I miss you."

He pauses and there's quiet rustling. He grunts.

"I miss you too." He finally replied.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just had to roll over. Not feeling too good."

"Oh."

"Everything will be fine. I-!"

There's beeps and checking your phone revealed the same notification. Caller dropped. Reception died again. You try again. But no dice. Same with texting him. Nothing would go through. You toss your phone to his side of the bed and grab his pillow again. You wrap yourself around it and instead of sleeping you cry most of the night.

You miss him.

You want him home. Where he's safe and healthy. Where you can cuddle him. Hold him. Talk to him all night. Play with his hair to soothe his aches... Sigh... It's hard to sleep when you worry like this...

Early the next morning your phone rings. You swipe your hand around the bed and answer it. You expected it to be your husband or maybe Tsunade with the results of your test. But no.

Fucking telemarketer.

You hang up on them and rest your head back on your pillow. Maybe it's stress or lack of sleep. Maybe it's all a manifestation in your head with all you thinking about is sickness but you don't feel good. You are exhausted. You feel a little queasy. A little run down as they say.

You text Jiraiya, informing him you aren't feeling well. He said he understood but was worried you caught some kind of hospital super bug. Or worse, he got you sick.

'I gave blood yesterday. If anything weird is going on they can probably tell from that.' You tell him.

'I guess you're right. Stay home then babe. But if you feel any worse come in and get checked out.'

'I will. I promise.'

He sends a couple of hearts. You send some back. By noon you get a call from the hospital and it's Tsunade. She informs you that your blood work came back.

"You aren't sick but..."

"But what?"

"You know it's better to discuss these kinds of things in person. Will you be coming in today to visit Jiraiya?"

"I don't think so. I don't feel very good. I didn't sleep well." You explain. You rub your head as you try and think on what she means. "Is it serious?"

"No. It can wait a day or two. Get some rest and take care of yourself. I'll call you if anything changes."

"Okay. Thanks."

"No problem. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

You hang up. After a deep sigh you crawl out of bed and make yourself something to eat. You spend the day house bound. You text your husband when the connection isn't being a bitch. He must be a tad bored. But he says he's feeling a little better. The blood he was coughing up wasn't so intense now. He hates his bland food. There's nothing good on tv. He can pee on his own. Just his usual over sharing as he doesn't have much else to do.

You eat and drink something. You spend a lazy day away from the hospital but still in contact with the man you love. You call him before bed. He still sounds sick but he certainly isn't as lethargic. Apparently he's been taking lots of naps. He managed to pout hard enough to have the nurse giving him his meal to throw in an extra jello. You manage to have a full conversation with him with no reception drops.

It's more peaceful but you still worry. You go to bed earlier with nothing else to do. It's still hard to sleep without Jiraiya beside you. It's hard to be at ease at night without his arm around your waist and his front pressed against your back. The gentle warm puffs of air brushing against your neck from his breathing is comforting. Right now it's just cold and unfamiliar without it. You wrap the blankets around you up to your ears and try to get better sleep...

"Are you sure?" You ask.

"Yeah." Tsunade answers.

"Wow..."

When you came in today you didn't expect such news. Yesterday you spent it at home too, still feeling a little under the weather. You still feel a little gross but now you know why.

"I got good news for you." She caught your attention again.

"What is it?"

"Jiraiya is no longer contagious."

It takes a moment to sink in. That's why she's so happy. You can visit him! Like actually go and hold his hand.

"But he's not healthy yet. He's doing well on his medications but he's still sick." She paused and picked up a file and flipped through it. "But I'll give him a physical and we'll see from there if he can go home for recovery."

You nearly jump with joy. You follow her to Jiraiya's glass room. He was dosing until he saw you and her approach. He perked right up at the sight of you. She punched in the code and you ran in.

"Babe?" He asks.

It's all he could ask. You tackle him in his bed. He squawked in surprise as you collided with him. Tears run down your cheeks as you become overwhelmed with the fact that you are finally doing this. His arms wrap around you and for the first time in a week you feel safe.

"I guess that means I'm not contagious." He ventured.

"Yes. You aren't!" You reply. You move your face to be aligned with his. You press your forehead against his. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." He said. His fingers caress your face. "I missed you so much."

He chuckles weakly when you cover his face in kisses. You finish it with one last one on his lips. It's wonderful to look so closely into his dark eyes. They're so bright with life.

You are grateful. Jiraiya's insistence on quarantining away from you was a blessing. If there was a room in a hotel or if a friend took him in who knows what could've happened. A grim images comes to mind of him coughing and choking on his blood in a lonely room out of reach of his phone and unable to grab it in time. If he wasn't so strict about keeping you safe... he might not be here.

His hands run down your back. He kisses you somewhat timidly as if he's still unsure if he'll still infect you.

"Are you okay?" Jiraiya asks. "You said you weren't feeling well."

"Oh... there's a reason for that."

"What's that?"

You lean in close and whisper it to him. His eyes go wide. He's stunned for a moment.

Then he laughs. He holds you tighter and tells you how great that is.

Tsunade kindly interjected before this got too lovey. She gave him his check up and determined that by tomorrow afternoon he could be discharged for home recovery with prescriptions. His bloody coughs have reduced to mostly spotty red phlegm. He's always been a fast healer. But of course his antics and Tsunade's quick diagnosis helped.

You hang out with him until you were forced to leave. But until then you relished in every touch. Every move of his chest. The beat of his heart against your ear. His warmth. Even his scent, while a little sickly, is fresh and warm. He was sad to see you go but it wasn't for long. When you got home you set up the bed to accommodate him more. You want him to be comfortable with all the things he could ever want at his fingertips. Remote. Snacks. Drinks.

"You are going overboard. I can move around just fine." Jiraiya complained when he got home the next day.

But he quickly shut up when you got him all set up with extra pillows. Even if he liked the extra coziness, it wasn't complete.

"What could I possibly add?" You ask.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you into bed. Whether you like it or not Jiraiya was making you his cuddle buddy. You rest against his side. Bedtime finally feels normal again. Stress began to melt away. You feel much better now that he's back home and recovering. You hold his hand and shut your eyes. The noise of the tv began to fade into indistinguishable chatter. His head rests against yours. He's home.

It would be best for the babies if you didn't stay up super late.

Now if only you can get Jiraiya to stop calling them his TB twins.