Warning! Spoilers. Death of the reader. Reader dies in his place. ,)

This can't be happening!

You shake your head. You press your body against his. You hold him tightly and beg.

"Don't do this alone. Take me with you." You whisper.

"I can't do that." Jiraiya replied. "I couldn't live with myself if I got you hurt."

"I've gotten hurt plenty of other times! What's so different about now?"

"You know why!"

He pushed away from you. He crossed his arms over his chest and let out a deep breath. The expression on his face is that of pain and frustration. He won't say it outright. But it is plainly understood between you and him. To go into the Land of Rain... Into the belly of the beast and discovering how the head of the Akatsuki ticks... was most certainly suicide.

By how he's acting you know he doesn't expect to come back. Even so he's accepted it. You don't know what he was thinking. You're his wife of over forty years! Does he think you're just going to say goodbye no questions asked?! That's not how this works! You won't simply stand around like his helpless widow to be and mourn him!

"We do everything together! That includes missions! You know better than anyone that two people working together is better than going it alone!" You shout at him.

"Why can't you let me do this?!" Jiraiya retorts. "I know you're right but I don't care! You stay here, where I know you're safe."

"That's not how this works!"

"Gaaaahh!" He shouts in frustration as he clutches at his head. "Why did I marry such a stubborn woman?! I don't want you there! Okay? You'll get in the way and fuck it all up!"

His words take you aback. Jiraiya has never spoken to you like that. Not even during the nastiest of spats. You and him work seamlessly together. After a lifetime of being together you know how he thinks and he knows you. When fighting together you and him are nearly unstoppable. Your poisonous abilities mixed with his more bold and up front tactics are weird but it works. He's never said something like this before. He doesn't insult you.

Because it's a lie.

Jiraiya is trying to push you away. He wants you to get mad so you give up. He desperately doesn't want you to go and he's resorting to this to keep you away. But even in this state, where your emotions are running high and you are more sensitive to these kinds of words, you see right through him.

"Don't do this... it won't work." You say. You approach him and hug him again. "I don't want to spend our last moments together mad at each other. That's not how I want to remember you."

The next breath his takes is shaky with emotion. You look up to see his eyes are shiny but he's sucking back the tears. You sniffle as emotions swell within you too. Tears well in your eyes and blur your vision.

"I-If you really fe-feel so strongly about t-this..." You stammer as your throat clenched.

"I do. I feel very strongly about this." Jiraiya said. He cupped your face and held it. "Let me protect you. Let me do what I know is right."

You cling to him, unable to contain your sobs. You know what you must do but... it's so hard to let him go!

"I love you." He utters.

"I love you too."

He retracted his hands. He stepped back. You still held onto him.

"Must you go now?" You croak. "Don't we have time?"

"..." He hesitates for a moment. Then he forced a smile. "Yeah. We have time."

Jiraiya embraces you again. There's security in his arms when they hold onto you. He kisses you. You kiss him back. Your fingers dig into his mane. His fingers clutch onto your hips. Your lips part with his and your tongue met his.

"Please..." You moan before locking lips with him again.

He stated your name softly between kisses. He took a break from your lips to kiss your neck and chest. It's odd to feel this surge of arousal in such grim circumstances. But maybe that's what's fuelling it. You want him. Is there a more perfect way to say goodbye to your perverse husband?

"Let's make love." You whisper against his ear. "One last time... Fuck me."

"Okay."

Your feet leave the ground as Jiraiya picked you up. Naturally you wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you. At least he waited to confront you back at the hotel. Your back hit the bed and he was on top. His hands ran under your clothing. You pull on his layers, tugging it off of his shoulders. Your nails run down his skin, catching the netting of his shirt. Then you move down to play with his pants.

"You're moving quick." He mutters.

"No I'm not." You say. "You're just being slow."

A soft chuckle leaves him. He dives back in to kiss you. Is it so wrong to want to savour every moment? For the last time he wants that. To really memorize every little thing about your body. To know every little detail on your face. So he can remember it as he fights. The one and only person who has always believed in him... was you. What better way to honour that bond than to sacrifice himself so you may live in a better world?

Another quiet laugh leaves him. Jiraiya kisses you again.

It would be better not to think about those kinds of things right now.

Right now he needs to focus on making sure you remember him with the best final memory he can give you.

You smile at him, looking over every bit of his face as he undressed you. His lips leave wet marks along your skin. He's kissing down your body as more of your flesh gets exposed. It's tickling your senses. It feels good. His tongue licks under your navel. After that his lips graze your underwear.

His teeth scrape against your pelvis as he bites the waistline. The soft fabric of your panties slide down your legs. After they hit the floor he returns to tease your senses. First your thighs. He strokes over them with his hands before pushing them apart.

"You're so gorgeous. I really am lucky to have found someone like you." Jiraiya said.

"Are you talking to me or my vag?" You ask.

Your husband sputters your name. He turns red in the cheeks. You laugh. But then it dies in your throat. Should you be laughing? You run your fingers through his hair and tears fall down the sides of your face. Luckily from this angle he can't really see that.

A noise caught between a moan and a whimper leaves you. Jiraiya began to eat you out. His tongue met your slit and lapped at it. It's not long until he's pushing it inside of you at a slow pace. It feels great. Waves of pleasure wash over you. It's just enough stimulation to warm you up. Your legs shift and toes twitch. At least with his head between your legs you can cry without him seeing.

It's still hard to hide it. Your chest spasms with a restrained sob. He probably felt that. His tongue stopped for a moment and he's looking over your mound to try and get a glimpse at your face.

"I'm okay... Don't stop." You assure him and pet his head.

He does so and resumes his pace. For some time he maintains it. It's a bit odd. Jiraiya isn't usually so patient. Not that he's not an attentive lover or a selfish one. He's just impatient. He loves having his dick buried inside one of your orifices and will usually spend most of his stamina in having it in you. He groans when you rock your hips for more stimulation. His nose is at the right spot to give your clit a little something too.

"Jiraiya..." You coo his name.

It's good. This slow almost gentle treatment of your sex is nice. This mood he's setting is a nice change of pace. He's always been the type to ravage the moment you say go. It's led to some very fun times as you've teased him to the point of having a wet patch show through his pants as he begs to have you. He just likes to get at it. He's a very passionate man.

He sped up finally. Your achy and eager nerves respond intensely. You cry out his name again. His mouth fucks you good. He's playing with your g spot. He nuzzles his nose against your clit. A flood of positive stimulation hits you and you reach your first peak. He slows down to twitching his tongue inside of you so you can milk it but not overwhelm you.

Once he knew you were done he pulled out and crawled up. The pleased smile on his face fell when he saw your face.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing... I'm fine."

He doesn't really believe that. He ran his thumb under your eye, catching some of your tears. You smile. You run your hands up his arms to around the back of his neck. You tug him down. His lips meet yours. The faint taste of your own sex is mixed with the taste of him. His body is pressed against yours. There's a pressure against your thigh. You make out with him for sometime. His hands wander your body. He's caressing and feeling every rise and fall of your form. A moan escapes him when you rock your hips and his stiff cock gets titillated by you.

You maneuver a hand down to be in between your body and his. A quiet grunt and call of your name resounded before he devoured your lips again. You have your hand wrapped around his erection. Pumping it to the same pace he blew you gave to the results you wanted. You navigate him to your entrance but he doesn't seize the opportunity. He grips your ass and raises you slightly.

"Hn..." You moan.

Jiraiya has his dick aligned with your pussy in a different way. He thrusts his shaft lengthwise along your slit. He's still staying slow. That feels great. He's still teasing you and offering stimulation, it's just not as you and him usually do it. Your natural wetness is lubing him up so it's sliding effortlessly. As he holds you and grinds against you like this, he focuses his mouth to pay you more attention.

Your lips and neck get covered in kisses. You caress his cheeks and call his name. He nibbles on your collarbone. A squeak leaves you when he accidentally slipped in for a second before pulling back out and resting against your sex again. He focuses on your clit, adjusting himself to grind against that. Your body responds positively to it and pleasure washes over you in spurts with each of his movements. But you are quickly craving more.

"Jiraiya please..." You trail off to moan quietly. "Put it inside of me!"

"You want me?" He asks.

"Yes! Please yes!.."

Jiraiya moved his hands under your knees and raised them. Your calves rest on his shoulders. He turns his head and places a kiss on the side of your knee. The tip of his dick kissed your entrance. After a heartbeat he pushed in. You gasp and utter his name as he slid all the way to the base. You aren't unfamiliar with him at all and know what to expect but for some reason it feels so much better than it had in the past.

The bed dips by your head as he rests his hand there. His hair has become loose out of its tie and long wild free pieces of white hair are over his shoulders and laying a curtain over his face. It's shrouding you too as he's leaned over you. At first the thrusts are shallow and quick. Then as they go from a few inches to his whole length they balance out in speed to match consistent mood he's set since starting. Slow and passionate. So you have no choice but to feel everything he's got as your insides tense in a pleasant way around his cock. It's similar to the night you and him got married. The sex before that was always fast and hard. He fucked you down right silly. But the night you and him tied the knot he showed you a side you hadn't seen much of. The lover in him that was gentle and appreciative of everything you are. Which is good. Both is good. This way you can savour every moment.

Jiraiya says your name in a breathless whisper. His eyes shut for a moment. There's a dark pink coating his cheeks. You reach up and push his long hair up. The strands escape your fingers and fall back down in a trickle. It's always been softer than it looks. He opens his eyes again and they lock with yours.

How can you bare to live without seeing them again?

His pretty eyes. Black like coal but always so bright. The first thing you see every morning is his eyes. Whether it's him waking you up or waking up with him, the first thing that catches your attention is his gaze. The warmth it gives off when he looks at you is like a blanket. It's comforting to know that everyday the person you love most looks at you like that and it hasn't changed. You can't bear the thought of waking up tomorrow and knowing he's in peril away from you. With no warmth to coat you in and no quiet husky greeting of his voice in the morning. Or no way for you to cover his back and help counter the enemy with him. That sounds awful.

"Am I hurting you?" He asks.

You shake your head. You must have been grimacing or something. It's not a physical wound you feel. Even if the thought of him marching to his most certain doom does feel like someone was twisting a knife into your gut.

"I guess my legs are a little strained." You excuse.

"Oh. Heh... sorry, gorgeous."

Relief did come to your achy leg muscles when he manipulated you to rest them on the outer side of his. Being all curled up for him is hard on the body. Sex and battle are the only things that wear you out like that.

"Is that better?"

You nod. He grins. He picks up the pace a little. You wrap your arms around him. So does he around you. With your front pressed firmly against his your whole body rocks with the quicker motion. His hips are working hard to bring you pleasure. You bury your face into his neck. At least from here you can hide your tears from him and disguise your sobs for moans.

Your fingertips clutch onto his back tighter. You grit your teeth. It's hard not to think about it. This really is it. The last time you get to be with your husband. The man you've known since you were six. Your literal life partner and soulmate of whom you have never lived without in almost fifty years. How can you let him go?

You can't!... You simply can't.

Jiraiya slowed down for a bit, focusing on getting his cock as deep as he could inside of you, moaning your name as he goes from base to tip in powerful deep thrusts. His breath hitches and he shudders. His embrace tightens around you. His face clumsily knocks against your jaw and chin. A couple more thrusts and then he orgasms. His hot breath washes over your throat as he breathes it out.

You don't achieve the same high. Rare for you as when Jiraiya gets off from fucking you it turns you on enough to cum as well. The grim thoughts of the nearby future must be bumming you out too much to get there.

Before he turned into complete jelly, he rolled off of you. Heat is radiating off of him. Usually is during sex. You are hot too. But you hardly notice it until after during this part. His heavy breathing quiets down after a minute. He looks over to you.

"Did you finish?"

You roll onto your side to face him. You don't like lying to him but he can be sensitive about this subject. Even as post coital clarity set in and the dissipation of all that dopamine happens he's rather insistent that his goal is to get you to have more than one orgasm. He'll keep going to make sure to achieve his goal even if it mean he wasn't as into it.

"That's a no..." He answered his own question. He can tell by your hesitation.

"It's okay. It's not your fault." You say.

"Yes it is." He said as he mirrored your position. His hand rests on your hip. "One of my jobs as your spectacular lover is to make you soak the bed."

"Romantically put, my love."

He laughs. You don't get it. How can he joke and laugh when he knows what lies ahead? Yeah... he's always been like that. He saw the good in the most bleakest of situations. His hand sneaks around your back and he pulls you against him.

"I guess we gotta go again." He says.

"I don't want to push you."

"Don't worry about me. I can handle you for a few more rounds."

Jiraiya kisses you again. You aren't going to complain. His lips tense into a line for a moment when you touched his dick. It's still a little wet from being inside of you. He groans as it gets stiff. Whenever you and him go for another round he's much more sensitive. Which can be fun in its own way. The smallest touches got him excited. Two of his fingers touch you, playing with your clit.

You push him onto his back and straddle his waist. He gasps. You do too as you sink down on his erection.

"Oh... oh fuck!" He curses.

"Does that feel good?" You ask.

"Yeah." He pauses and the corner of his mouth twitched up. "That feels great."

Jiraiya holds your hips. He tells you to fuck him however you want. You start to move. He curses again. The pleasure hit him immediately. It almost hurts. But he likes it too much to want to stop. Above him you are in a similar state. Your body wants it.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

It's no use. As you ride him your mind is elsewhere. Even as he grabs and massages your breasts to your pace you can't get your head out of that space. You hold onto his hands. He's moaning your name. The image of his face, bloody and grey keeps crossing your eyes when you close them. His warm eyes cold and vacant. With no one to hold him as he departs the world. No one should face death alone like that.

What about you? What about Naruto? All his friends? How can he martyr himself like this? Why isn't he telling you the whole thing?

You couldn't hide it this time. You're crying again.

"No baby... please." Jiraiya was quiet.

You pause for a moment as he sat up. He crossed his legs and settled for hugging you instead. He held you tightly with his head against your chest. You hold onto his head and move your hips again.

"I love you! Please!..." His voice is muffled against your chest.

"Jiraiya!.." You cry out in a mixture of emotions.

It's hard to pinpoint what your body wants. You lock up from pleasure. It becomes hard to breathe from sobbing and the effort it takes as your body cums. His nails are pushed into your back as he clings to you.

"It's to protect you." He mutters.

You force his head up to look at you. There's a sheen to his eyes. He's sad about it like you are, but he won't go back on his decision.

"It's to protect everyone I love."

"Why can't I protect them with you?"

He swallows down the lump in his throat. He won't tell you. There was a point in time he was away from you. And during that time he let his emotions get the better of him and he remembered a faint prediction of an old toad. He knows... he just knows he accidentally created a monster. And that monster is leading a rogue terrorist group that's hunting good people and killing anyone that gets in their way. He can't sit by and let it go on anymore. He has to do something even if it does mean his demise. It's a demise he accepts. So long as he can figure something out along the way to save his family and friends from this horrible threat of his own making.

"Hush... I have to do this."

"But you don't have to do it."

Jiraiya shakes his head. He won't do that to you. This is his burden to bear. He grabs the back of your head and kisses you. He asks that for now, you focus on this. The greatest expression of love between two people shouldn't be tainted with sorrow. He takes the lead again.

You and him make love for hours. To the point of nearly crying for a different reason. The overstimulation to both your body and his was painful. You don't want it to end because it means being away from him. It means the beginning of the end. But the towel had to be thrown in eventually.

You lay with him in bed, holding him and snuggling him. The clock is really ticking now. Once he's recovered he's going. But... you still want to change that. You don't want to live if he's going to die. You know he'll tie you to the bed if he has to. He'll throw you in jail to keep you from following. He'll make a toad eat you and keep you prisoner in their tummy. You aren't contracted with them and they won't listen to you. Jiraiya is their master and they won't defy his order.

You look up from his chest to his face. Jiraiya is looking at you, his expression is calm. He smiles at you. If this is the end and he insists on this then... you'll meet your end too. He's your whole world. You kiss him. You do something else as you do...

Jiraiya groans quietly. He is suddenly very tired. As to be expected after that much energy is spent in the bedroom. But each moment that passes where he's not making way to the Rain the worse the situation gets. The longer he draws this out the harder it is to leave you.

"It's no good fighting when you're tired." You whisper.

"I can't... I shouldn't hold off."

"A nap won't hurt."

You caress his cheek and his eyes flutter shut. The last thing he hears before succumbing to unconsciousness was your voice.

"I love you."

Jiraiya couldn't reply...

...

..

Opening his eyes again he was met with the outer side of the bed. He glances up to the clock on the nightstand. An hour? That's not so bad. He rolls over to give you a quick cuddle. Hopefully you're asleep. All he has to do is slip away and go to face his final battle. His hand falls heavily onto... bed. Flat cold sheets. He sits up and looks around. There's no lights on. No quiet shuffling around in the bathroom or anything.

Jiraiya calls out for you. There's no reply. Confused and worried he gets out of bed. He searches around but you aren't here. He returns to bed and plunks down on your side. There's a crinkle. Feeling around reveals a folded piece of paper on your pillow. He leans over to the nightstand and turned on the light. Once his eyes adjusted to the light he unfolded the note.

Suddenly the floor felt like it disappeared under him. His heart fell out of him. Despite the feeling of a void crashing in around him he stood. He threw his clothes on and ran out the door.

How could you?!

How could you do this?!

The gate guards were surprised to see him. They informed him that you left the village yesterday.

Oh god he's... he's so late!

You must've poisoned him with something that knocked him out for a whole fucking day! He took off, running at full speed. His heart is pounding. His head is racing with too many thoughts. The words of your note are like a stab to the heart.

It's not your fault.

I love you.

No matter what I'll fight for you.

There's no rain when he arrives.

The Rain village is oddly quiet. Jiraiya walks around, calling your name. Asking others hardly got results. You must be here somewhere. But then the signs start to show.

Destruction among the metal and pipes. A sinking feeling in his gut formed. He follows it. It's far to quiet for a battle that's still going on. He follows a tunnel that broke away to the edge of the Rain village. Now outside all he sees is broken concrete and rebar poking out of the water. There's blood. It's still fresh.

It's torture but what else can he do?

Jiraiya leaps down to the wreckage to investigate. At this point... he's terrified of the plain truth. The pool of blood on the concrete in the middle of the ruins...

The strength leaves his legs and he collapses to his knees. The blood stains his clothes and hands. Nearly hidden with the wash of blood and dirt... was your ring.

It was just resting there like it was a lost item. So small and inconspicuous one could nearly miss it. But you knew... he wouldn't miss it.

You are gone.

Drops of rain began to fall. It melded with his tears. The downpour came a moment later, heavy and torrential. It was a roaring sound in comparison to the silence before. He lays bowed on the ground. His mouth open and a horrible wail ripping through his throat. It's not a particular word or name. It's a sorrowful scream.

He can't think of any other way to channel it...

...

Time went on but Jiraiya did what he could to stall it. He returned to Konoha. He didn't speak to anyone. He holed himself up in the hotel room he once shared with you. He didn't do much. He didn't eat or sleep.

He just... existed.

Your pack was still here. It was both gut ripping torture and somehow nice to go through it. Your journal which documented a variety of things. How a day went. What was on your mind. The occasional pressed flower. He found a shirt that you usually wear to bed. He buried his face in it and it still smelt like you. He figured he had no more tears left but then he found a gift. A literal gift for him. All wrapped up with paper and ribbon. It was small. It was for yours and his wedding anniversary. It was just around the corner.

He didn't have the heart to open it. That wouldn't be right. He sniffled and brought his hands up near his face again to gaze at the only other thing he has of you.

Your ring.

Why leave this behind?

The door was forced open. Jiraiya hardly paid it mind. That was until Naruto entered. By the look on the boy's face he must've heard the news of your death. He didn't say anything, just came over to the corner his master was sitting in and sat with him. You always were motherly and sweet on Naruto. He understood but... Jiraiya still felt alone.

It wasn't much of a choice. Naruto needed to be trained. Jiraiya was in no state to try and counter Pain. If he did he probably would loose his composure. He can barely manage to breathe. While others understood, some didn't. But those who didn't never lost a loved one like this. Vengeance isn't on his mind. He's too worn down for that. Naruto was willing to step up and take the mantle in his place. He packed up his bag and yours into one. He still kept your pack, but collapsed it down to be packed away for now. There's so little of you he has left. He doesn't want to think about where your body is but that dark thought comes about anyhow. It mocked and reminded him that you can't properly be laid to rest. He has no place to mourn you other than the piece of jewelry you left behind.

Mount Myōboku was uncharacteristically somber. Maybe having him around was bumming out the usually content toads. Shima and Fukasaku handled Naruto's training for the most part. It's hard to exert a lot of energy. But Jiraiya will watch. He finds a perch and looks down to see his student progressing like he had in his youth... only without you. He took you to the mountain sometimes. You giggled and rubbed your nose against his when he transformed for the first time. You still found him cute. The elders on his shoulders cooed at him and teased him...

He wipes off his sore eyes. They burn and ache from a mixture of things. The biggest being crying but lack of sleep has contributed too. Whenever more tears escape it feels like burning hot watering being thrown on his under eyes. Shima comes up to him to check on him often. She always brings food. But even now he finds it hard to keep anything down. It's hard to eat when everything tastes like paper. But he tries. The motherly old toad looks so worried when he ignores his meal.

As hard as it was, Jiraiya did try to contribute some of his focus to fighting. It's easier to understand how sage mode affects the body if it's seen in action. Cruelly enough he found it easier to enter the form. His brain stopped thinking and he could achieve the transformation with a little waiting. He sparred with Naruto who had the basics down.

The world really did stop for a moment. With a kick to the chest, something flew out of his robe. Everything fell into slow motion. Your ring was knocked loose and flew through the air. It clattered a few feet away and kept rolling among the stones and moss. He froze. His heart flew up to his throat but his feet wouldn't move.

Naruto stammered several apologies as he chased after it. He dived to the ground and sifted through the foliage until he found it. Luckily it only took a minute. The small piece of jewelry didn't stray far. The blond stood back up with the ring pinched in his fingers.

"Sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen." Naruto repeated again as he stopped in front of Jiraiya.

"It's fine, kid."

Naruto paused as he held your ring closer to his eyes.

"There's... something here."

He spun the band around slowly. He couldn't get a good read on it as Jiraiya snatched it back. The older man looked over the band. Did it get scuffed when it fell? Or maybe a dent?

There's words.

There's words?

Etched in your writing, rough and scratchy, was a message around the band.

The real one is not there.

Upon repeating it out loud. It didn't make much sense. But there was no time to think about it. Fukasaku came running up, claiming it was time to go. Something was happening and he had one of those feelings.

Jiraiya was fascinated by the ring and it's words more than the impending chaos. How did you do that? He clutched the ring tightly in his fist. For the first time in weeks, he felt something. He turned and followed Naruto. He'll fight too!

...

..

It all happened so fast.

The existential horror. The dread. Jiraiya stared in the face of a man he didn't expect. As well as his right hand gal. Yahiko and Konan. And your message suddenly made sense. Where is Nagato? Why does the once normal eyed bright young man have the eyes of the other? Why is there six of them? And why are they all so familiar?

The will to fight flickered with uncertainty and fear. It came with a dawning realization.

Jiraiya was meant for that battle.

It was down right destiny. But you stepped in and meddled with fate. He doesn't feel right being alive. Pain... Nagato should've killed him. It's clear how much anger that boy has for him. Even with sage mode and back up, Pain was relentless. He was a target even if Naruto, the original target, was within reach.

"Your love makes you weak, sensei." The dull deep voice of his old student echoed in his head.

He couldn't really reply. He was battered. Bloody and dying. He stared blankly at Pain, unable to speak. He wasn't sure what to say.

"Do you hate me? Shall I tell you how she died?"

Darkness swirled in Jiraiya's vision. He does and he doesn't. When he sleeps he gets horrible dreams of different ways you die. Each reset of the dream gets more bloody and worse. But if he does know then how can he ever get that image out of his mind?

"I don't hate you..." He finally said. It's all he could say.

He passed out. He felt cold but content. In the last moments of clarity he felt your ring burrowing in his hand. He was holding it tightly.

When Jiraiya opened his eyes again he's met with a different vision. A dirt road lined with grass on either side. It's breezy and sunny. There's a figure just in his line of vision. So he approached it. As he did excitement filled him.

He cried your name. Tears welled in his eyes. You're here! Alive and well! He reached towards you. You smile at him. He's nearly at you. His fingers can almost feel your clothing.

"It's not your time, my love."

"What?"

He quickly understood. He was forced too. It felt like a hundred hands grab his back and arms. They pull him away from you.

"No!"

It didn't matter how he fought and pulled away. They wouldn't let him go. You stood there, smiling sadly as you bid him farewell. He was yanked away. The incredible force of the hands wouldn't let him go. Suddenly he flew. He lost his footing and he was pulled back so hard and swift if felt like gravity didn't exist. Darkness quickly overtook the sun and the earth around him turned pitch. He was stuck in a void.

He woke up. While a tad sore from where he was injured, he was fine. After a moment he sat up. He's still clutching your ring. In that moment... he wished it was his time.

The battle was over. It seemed he woke up later than the rest. When Jiraiya ventured to the loud cheering he saw Naruto being praised and tossed into the air like a hero. Well he's always been one. He's always been destined to do great things. It's nice to see.

In that moment Jiraiya felt useless.

He's not needed here. The idea of being near people is making him sick. You were all the company he needed. Now he can't have that. He's not keen to be around anyone else.

Naruto stopped him before he could leave quietly. The boy was excited to show he something. Reluctantly he did follow. And he was blown away. Under an old flourishing tree untouched and damage free was a stone. Your name was carved into it. That's the first thing he noticed. Around it was flowers made out of paper.

"It's not much but... she deserves to be remembered somewhere." Naruto explains.

"She does. Thanks, kid." Jiraiya said. He looks over at Naruto and put his hand on the other's shoulder. "I appreciate it... but I.."

"I know what you're going to say. Just visit sometime okay?"

"Alright. I will."

And with that, Jiraiya left. He wasn't one for crowds even before your death. His feelings for his friends are... numb. He's still on the verge of blaming them for something. He's not even really sure what for. But being near them feels gross. Maybe it's a sense of knowing. He's not needed around here anymore.

He returned to the mountain. He didn't have the heart to travel anymore. Even that reminded him of you. So he went to a place that's soaked with happy memories. With the only family he's ever known other than you to spend his time with. The isolation is nice. When a toad gets summoned he wishes them well and that they come home safe. When they do come back he doesn't want to hear what's going on.

It's hard most of the time. There's not a moment that goes by that he doesn't think about you. Eventually on yours and his wedding anniversary he did work up the courage to open the gift. It's a simple silver chain necklace. It's thin and unassuming. It's a tradition for this particular number of anniversary that this be the gift. Sometimes you can be traditional and it's cute. What better way to make sure your ring never leaves him than to have it chained to him? It's still the greatest comfort to him.

Jiraiya did eventually figure out how the words formed on the ring. You put some kind of seal on it that activated the etching when Naruto used his chakra. Perhaps it was lingering from the nature chakra on his hands when he picked it up. Whatever the case if it's the reason that fight ended the wrath of Pain. Your last words saved the village. And that part of his past, he's made peace with it.

Out of curiosity one day he put his chakra into your ring. If it deepened the outside etchings he would stop. To damage the integrity of your ring would break his heart. To his surprise etchings appeared on the inside. The message is... beautiful. It's something for only you and him. Even so he cannot bear to ever repeat it.

That night he didn't fall asleep. He stared at the moon and it fixated him. At some point he must've fallen asleep or something. He blinked and he could feel your hand on his. Your head on his shoulder. He clutched your hand. He misses you so much! Maybe he's hallucinating. You feel real right now.

It was the most happiness he's felt in a long time!

But like everything good in his life comes to an end. He enjoyed an odd outer body experience. It was as if he spent a day in the past. He had new conversation with you. You cuddled with him. He heard your laugh and his soul healed. He went to bed with you, nothing sexy he just held you tightly and he finally got a good nights rest.

Then he woke up. He was still sitting on the roof of the elder toad's house staring at the moon. It's red colour faded back into a cold pale blue. Something happened didn't it? In the shinobi world something terrible and weird happened to cause a mirage that strong. It was like genjutsu. Maybe that's exactly what it was. The spell was broken. But who knows how long it was up for. Alas it was blissful. This life sucks.

Eventually Naruto began to write him. A toad would waddle up to him and spit out a letter. He'd open it and read it over. He hardly ever replies. It is great to know that someone hasn't forgotten him.

Even so Jiraiya was a hermit at heart.

The idea of seeing people still made him uneasy. He replied when he learned of Kakashi's promotion to Hokage. He wished the genius well and asked if Tsunade was okay. She was but she simply didn't wish to hold the title anymore. He replied when he learned Orochimaru was pardoned and offered refuge in Konoha. It was a surprise but if Naruto judged the old criminal than it must be... okay. He struggled to reply when Naruto sent a wedding invite.

Wedding. Marriage. It all reminds him of you. Plus all those people being happy. It made the sage a little nauseous. But to not go was rude. He knows Naruto expects him and it is hard to let that good boy down. So he compromised.

He met up with the newlyweds on the edge of Konoha. Not too far away. But it was secluded enough. He was surprised to see Naruto as a fully grown man. He's a good looking young man. With more mature features he does have more of his father's look to him. And miss Hinata. Beautiful and incredibly kind. Jiraiya didn't bring along a gift or anything but they didn't care. They were just happy he was willing to celebrate with them.

Before he returned to the mountain he visited you.

More time passes.

Jiraiya is... okay. He's not happy. Nor is he ever in peace. He still thinks about you everyday. He misses you everyday. The wounds are still there in his heart, open and sore. They may never close. He does feel some signs of his age. When he got a letter announcing that Naruto had become a father, he made another trip. He packed up his stuff and the little things he had left of you. He said his goodbyes to his froggy family.

Jiraiya is far from a fatherly figure. You and him never had children but found something similar with Naruto. Holding newborn Boruto was a new experience. It's been so long since he's held a baby he nearly forgot what it felt like. The last baby he held was Naruto. You would be a sappy mess. You'd hog as much time as you could to hold the wee babe. You'd spoil him rotten.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asks.

"Yeah... I'm fine. You make some cute kids." Jiraiya answered.

"Are you sure?"

Annoyingly wise and a good people reader this older Naruto is. With a sigh Jiraiya confessed. He's getting old. He's tired. He doesn't want to go back to the mountain. As much as he was a hermit he wouldn't mind seeing more of the people he loves. They are all in the village now. It's much more peaceful and quiet here. Naruto put a hand on his shoulder and warmly invited him to stay.

So he did.

Naruto and Kakashi pulled some strings and found him a nice place. It was a simple tiny little house in one of the neighbourhoods dedicated to suburban living. It was a quiet street where a lot of retired people live. It's better than an apartment as he could still have his privacy and some space away from the homes surrounding his.

Now a resident of Konoha, Jiraiya tried to find a rhythm. He bought groceries for the week on Monday. Tuesdays he lounges in his backyard drinking and eavesdropping on his neighbours. Wednesdays are dedicated to a walk around the village, staying at home for too long made him stir crazy. Thursday he meets with his team. Sometimes they all drink. Other times it was shooting the shit. Fridays he spends the morning with you. In the evening he visits Naruto and the cute little family the blond is making. Weekends are all free time. Kakashi usually invited him out to play poker with the boys or some other more group activity with the adults of the previous generation.

Occasionally things change. Like the whole week the village celebrated when Naruto became Hokage. That was a bit of a blur. As Boruto and Himawari get older Jiraiya would babysit sometimes. There are some times he can't handle going out and he cancels plans to have a day in. But he's found happiness. He'll never be as happy as was when he was with you but it's better than he was when you had gone.

Years go by.

It's nice to live knowing nothing bad will happen. You would've loved to see a peace like this. It's cruel that you were one of the sacrifices to achieve it.

On the fifteenth anniversary of your death, Jiraiya visited you. It happened to land on a Friday. His nice little schedule wasn't messed with. He contemplated on whether or not to go see Naruto afterwards but it would be nice to go have some comfort. No one knows better than Naruto how deeply he loved you and how painful it's been. Those chubby little kid faces help out too. Even if they aren't so little anymore.

It's a lovely day. Sunny and warm. Your husband sat in front of your memorial under the old tree in the forest. He lit a stick of incense and made an offering. Your favourite meal he made himself and your favourite alcohol sat perched around the stone. He talked to you. About nothing and everything. He always spoke to you when he visited but today he just couldn't stop.

After a deep sigh something just... clicked. It's time. He can't do this anymore. He's old. He's tired. He's gone on long enough without you. He unhooked the necklace and held your old worn ring in his hand. He smiles at it. Then he offers it, placing the chain around the base of the stone and the ring in the middle under your name. It's your after all. He's ready to give it back to you.

"Sorry... I don't think I'm going to make it tonight." He apologized to his dear successor, who he knows will understand.

Jiraiya laid down on his back beside your headstone. He watches as a breeze ruffles the bright green leaves of the tree you and him are under. The sound is pleasant. The bright sun is spotted and scattered over his face as the canopy shields the rays. It's a lovely day to die.

He smiles. He even chuckles. He shut his eyes slowly. It's warm. It's an embrace. He breathes in. Then slowly his chest falls with his final breath.

It's his time...

Naruto found him. He was worried when Jiraiya was late and came to see if something had happened. It had. It's hard not to cry. Death is always a sad thing but... Jiraiya had never looked so content.

The funeral was quickly underway the next day. The cause of death was unclear. Tsunade even faced the difficult task of examining his body and wasn't sure what to come to for a cause. Perhaps it was all the old trauma his body endured from battle catching up to him? Or maybe years of drinking and smoking?

But the most likely cause is one that probably doesn't show up on exams. The long term stress of a broken heart. It can be fatal when left for long enough.

Despite being more of a loner Jiraiya was sent off with a crowd. People remembered him and were sad to see him go. Plenty of flowers were laid on his casket and lots of things were said. Stories were shared and even a couple of laughs. He was buried next to you. There's no other place good enough.

They shouldn't be so sad.

This is better.

When Jiraiya opened his eyes again he was met with a familiar sight. A dirt path lined with grass on a lovely sunny day. He follows it again. It ends in a different way. The path is empty. Eventually it thins out to a field full of flowers.

In the middle of it was you.

He cried your name in excitement. He ran towards you. You turned to face him and smile widely. You run towards him. The years of pain and sorrow began to melt off of him. All his earthly worries no longer weigh him down. The solid hit of your body colliding with his was indescribably amazing. You're solid. You're real!

"I missed you so much!" He broke down into sobs.

"I missed you too!"

Together you and him laugh and cry. You run your fingers through his hair. His lips press against yours. This must be heaven.

"How long do we have?" He asks, fearing this will end.

"An eternity." You whisper.

He clutched onto you tighter. Your arms are around him just as tightly. It's a feeling he's missed dearly. He could do this for an eternity. But he laughs as another question came to mind.

"Is it allowed to have sex here?"

You chuckle. You pull away enough to look him in the eyes and smirk.

"I guess we should go find out."

You laugh with him. You wipe away his tears. He's shed enough over you already. Watching over him this whole time has been hard. Now that he's here you can say all the things you've wanted to say for over fifteen years.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

You step away from him and grab his hand.

"Let me show you around."

"I'd like that."

You lead the way. He follows. In front was a warm bright light. Whatever lies beyond it he's not afraid of it. It's okay. It's a new adventure. One he can finally have with you. No matter what happens one thing is clear.

Jiraiya is finally at peace.