This bittersweet scene was inspired by a photo posted on Tumblr a few weeks ago by cullencouture (see the avatar to this one-shot). Writing in Alice's POV is so frustrating sometimes, and I'm always on the fence about how to style her visions. Having them in italics, especially when she's in and out of her visions like this, can be jarring and frustrating to read. But the more I think about it, this part of Alice's life should feel jarring and frustrating. She's alone and uncertain and sick of waiting, especially since in Tale of Years, she really doesn't do much other than watch and wait—essentially waiting for her life to begin. And she really is living in three places at once, always dipping in and out of various parts of the future. So you may get a little dizzy reading this one, but that's kind of the point.

1938: One Enchanted Evening

Alice POV (visions in italics)

"Oh, they're perfect," Esme said. "They really bring out the color of your eyes."

"Today, at least," Rosalie said, fiddling with her new earrings to make them dangle in just the right way. "Are you going to wear the emeralds?"

I smiled along with them, absently touching my own ears. Rosalie and Esme had gotten Carlisle to re-pierce their ears back when Rosalie was new, though I had missed the actual moment of his doing it, so I wasn't sure how he had done it. I would never have thought it was possible! I still couldn't decide if I wanted to have mine done when the time came. I had plenty of time to think about it, I supposed.

That was the problem! Too much time. It had been eighteen years now, and I was still waiting.

And waiting.

Humans grew up in eighteen years. In a way, I had already been waiting a lifetime. Two, if I counted the mystery of whatever life I had lived before waking up. Surely that was enough?

It was closer; I could feel it. Diner Day was getting a little clearer with every year that passed—I could almost read the license plates in the picture now. My family was easier to find than ever, minus those funny glitches a couple of years ago where their futures had briefly disappeared. And Jasper was... unhappy.

He had never been happy before—I knew he would be, someday, and I held onto that tightly enough for both of us—but ever since Peter had left, he had looked more miserable than ever. He carried a look of terrible weariness that made me ache inside. He rarely spoke anymore unless he was shouting an order to the newborns. He and Maria still butted heads sometimes but said far less to each other in general. If anything, it was more worrying when he didn't challenge her at all—when he just turned and trudged away to do whatever she had said. It worried me because of the way Maria narrowed her eyes and watched him when he turned his back on her like that. I didn't trust that look. I didn't trust her.

But Jasper being unhappier meant that he was closer to leaving, surely. Why didn't he do it already? It broke my heart to see him like this. The weight of his misery was growing heavier and heavier. Would we find each other before it grew too heavy and he crumbled completely? I had tried, time and time again, to go find him myself. I was almost sure he was in Mexico. Once I had learned Spanish, I had been able to look up some of the cities he and Maria talked about. But every time I decided to go south and do some exploring, the Diner was lost and frightening possibilities took its place. Every time I tried and gave up on those plans, I wished so hard that I could run into Esme's arms and cry and tell her all about it. That I could ask for Carlisle's advice. That Rosalie could comb my hair the way she and Esme did and talk me into whatever I was supposed to do, or talk me out of it. That Emmett could play tricks on me and make me laugh even when I didn't feel like it. That Edward could go through my visions with me and help me make sense of it all.

But that wasn't a possibility either. I wasn't sure why; I just knew that things wouldn't be the same with Jasper if I went to the Cullens first. I had a whole world of possibilities at my fingertips, and yet all I could do was sit here and wait.

I found myself a park bench in whatever city I was wandering through today. It was cloudy enough that the sun wouldn't peek out before it set. I was getting better at the weather thing; it wasn't like there was anything else to do. I plopped down and crossed my legs like human ladies did and opened my book. I had read it a dozen times, so now it was just a prop to hold while I sat frozen and watched people that weren't here. Rosalie and Esme were still getting ready. Everyone was going along with Carlisle to some fancy event in Seattle tonight, something to do with the hospital there in Washington that he worked at. He was receiving some reward or accepting a large donation on behalf of the hospital, or something like that. It was a "fundraiser." I wasn't sure what that was, but it sounded glamorous!

"Oh Emmett, really!" I huffed, attracting the confused attention of a man walking by my bench. Emmett was trying all sorts of excuses to get out of going tonight. Edward was grumbling a little, too, and while I knew Rosalie was glad for the chance to dress up and go out, this still wasn't good enough for her. They didn't know how lucky they were to have something to go to! When would I have a closet filled with pretty things? When would I have outings like this, have a family to go with, someone to dance with—there would be dancing later tonight!

I closed my book and slammed it down on the bench beside me. Well, sometimes you had to make your own destiny. If I couldn't join them, I could do the next best thing. I had played along before, but nothing like this! My visions brightened the instant I made the choice. I was going tonight, too, just here in my own city by myself. I hopped off the bench and eagerly made my way downtown. It felt good to be in a rush all of a sudden! I only had a couple of hours.

"Excuse me," I asked a woman who looked to be Esme's age. "Where can I go to find a nice dress? I mean a really nice dress, I'm attending a hospital fundraiser tonight!"

The lady drew in her breath and stepped away from me, but she stammered out the names of two stores within walking distance. She scurried off.

"We're leaving in two hours," Carlisle called up the staircase. Emmett looked confused.

"Why are you giving them a two-hour heads up?" he asked.

"We haven't had a black-tie event since you came along. It's necessary, believe me," Edward muttered from behind the piano. Carlisle chuckled to himself and went back to reading the newspaper.

"I'll be ready!" I promised them happily.

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.

.

I didn't like to steal, but it really couldn't be avoided sometimes. I was able to get the shoes and the gloves easily enough, but I couldn't exactly stash an evening gown into my new pocketbook. I hung around the store until closing time, silently chatting along with Esme and Rosalie and running my fingers over the brightly colored satins and silks. I had already chosen my dress, a breathtaking black velvet with what the proprietress had called a "deep V" neck with a pretty diamond brooch sewn on.

The lady was getting annoyed. "I'm closing soon, miss," she told me, frowning at the way I was touching all the clothes. "Are you sure I can't help you find something?"

"Oh, I just can't decide," I said, looking around mournfully. "Mother promised I could have whatever I wanted, but it's all too delicious. Could I come back tomorrow?"

She agreed, and I made a show of heading for the door until her back was turned. I opened and closed the door, making the little bell jingle, and darted back under a thick canopy of fur coats to wait. I nearly gave myself away with a little gasp, though, when Maria's plans changed all of a sudden.

Oh, not tonight! I growled inside my head, furious that she was playing with the idea of a surprise attack tonight on her enemies. I wanted to be free of worry tonight, however selfish that sounded, so I could enjoy my night with the Cullens. I wanted Jasper to be free tonight. Even if he couldn't really dance with me, it only seemed fair for Maria to give him the night off! She wavered, staring up at the clouds for a while. The battle blinked in and out of existence. She was going to argue with Jasper about it later. Now I saw the same battle, but it felt more like next week... better.

Once the store was empty and dark, I snuck out of my hiding spot and used my visions to pick the best size of the black dress. I wadded it into a ball and tucked it under my arm. Ready! On my way out the door, though, a row of sparkles caught my eye. I let the dress tumble down to the floor and looked with longing over the different kinds of earrings, turning the little case and touching the ones I thought Rosalie and Esme would like best.

But then I saw a little label over the bottom row: Clip-ons. I picked up a fancy pair of earrings and discovered that they had little metal clips on the backs. How clever! I played with the clips for a second and then put the earrings on. I stood on my tiptoes and peeked in the little strip of mirror that ran along the earring case.

"Oh, they're perfect," I said in Esme's voice. "Thank you!" I answered. I peered down through the glass counter at the diamond necklaces laid out and saw one that seemed to belong with the earrings. I scrambled over the counter and picked it up. I had never stolen anything this valuable before... I could always put it back later tonight.

"Ladies!" Carlisle called up the staircase just then. "We really are going to be late!"

"Coming, coming!" the three of us said together. I scooped up my dress and, on a whim, grabbed a handful of bobby pins out of a stash behind the cash register. Rosalie and Esme dashed down the stairs and out to the car with their hands over their ears because Edward was doing that annoying thing with the car horn. It wouldn't take them long to get to Seattle with him driving. But where should I go?

I had it! That lovely old abandoned ballroom back in Springfield. I had spent the night there during a thunderstorm a few months ago. It felt so good to push myself to the limit as I ran. I flew across the state line just as the Cullens drove into the city limits of Seattle. Faster!

The ballroom was exactly as I had left it. Endless geometric shapes crisscrossed the marble floor and stretched out toward neat rows of boarded-up windows. Dusty white lumps dotted the spaces between the windows: tables and chairs and a grand piano draped with white sheets. Hmm... something was missing. I jumped up and pried the boards off a nearby window, letting in a bright stream of moonlight. I dressed in a flash and stepped into the spotlight, twirling around and smiling at my glittering reflection in the window. I practiced a few poses, feeling very glamorous indeed. When I pinched the back of the dress together, it fit perfectly.

"I'm ready!" I said. My voice echoed in the empty ballroom, but I was already far away. The Cullens had just walked into their event and were choosing a table off to the side. It looked like they would have to sit through dinner before anything else could happen. I used the time to experiment with the bobby pins, using the window and my visions as a mirror. I was sure I didn't have it quite right, but I still enjoyed the look I got with my hair all pinned up. It made me look like I hadn't died with that ghastly haircut. Oh, I couldn't wait for Rosalie to teach me how to do these things properly!

I laughed out loud at Emmett's expression when he tried some of the human food. He'd done it before, but somehow it was even funnier seeing him do it in a tuxedo. Then he and Rosalie got into a competition of who could make more food look eaten when it really wasn't. Edward was chatting with Carlisle about whatever it was the pianist was playing, and Esme—

"We're going anyway," Maria insisted. "We don't know when we'll get another chance like this."

"What's the point?" Jasper said. "Even if we succeed, we won't be able to hold onto the town for long. We're not keeping the Februaries more than another month. Unless you'd reconsider—"

"Don't start," Maria interrupted harshly. "Go get everyone fed. We're heading out as soon as the storm breaks." Jasper frowned down at her, but he kept his mouth shut and went to carry out her orders.

I growled and stamped my foot at the change of plans. If only they would hold off for a few more hours... I forced my visions back onto the Cullens, but they were still "eating." Carlisle was actually drinking whatever that yellow stuff was in his glass... oh, because a grumpy-looking old human had come over to talk to him. I peeked ahead to see the moment when he would accept the award. I was going to applaud with everyone else! I wonder if he knew yet that he would be getting it?

"You two have done wonders with that little hospital," the man was saying to Carlisle and Esme. "The association is more than happy to recognize you tonight. Now, I'll call you up once the dancing starts to lag. I'll present you with the plaque and the check, and you'll give us a little speech."

Carlisle didn't look surprised; he looked dismayed. "A speech? Is that really necessary?"

"You'll do fine. I'll be right up there with you."

"It isn't that," Carlisle said. "I'm just not fond of speaking in front of people or having my picture taken."

"You don't have a choice, sonny," the man said firmly. "With all the money we're pouring into your benevolence fund here, the least you can do is smile for the camera and say a few words. Why you won't talk to the newspapers about it, I'll never understand, but I'm putting my foot down tonight. Come on, be a sport."

"Very well," Carlisle said reluctantly.

"This is what you get for being a humanitarian," Edward said under his breath. Emmett choked out half a laugh, covering it with an innocent smile when the frowny man looked his way.

"Humanitarian," Emmett whispered when the coast was clear. "Get it? HA!"

"Oh, Emmett," I said along with Rosalie. I was getting good at this. Well, I was disappointed that Carlisle wouldn't be surprised, but now I could look forward to his speech, if Maria would just hold off a little longer...

"—don't care what you think," Jasper hissed. He shoved a newborn back into line with the others. "I gave you an order. Now get moving!"

"Do you think there'll be dancing?" Esme asked hopefully.

"Yes!" I said anxiously. "Now get to the fun part!"

I was losing my grip on the Cullens, but I didn't want to watch Jasper either. He and the newborns were feeding now in preparation for battle, and it was a bloodbath. I hugged my ribs tight, torn between flashing images of Esme and Carlisle whispering together, laughing, and Jasper trying to break up a fight between two monsters who were fighting over a screaming, thrashing human. When they wouldn't listen, he rolled his eyes and ripped the human in half, shouting that half a human was all they deserved, and if they wanted more, they had damn well better earn it in battle tonight. I flinched and desperately tried to latch onto Rosalie—she and Emmett were just getting up to dance. Rosalie's jewelry sparkled in the mellow lights above the dance floor.

But then both those immediate visions were suddenly replaced by something that never failed to stop me in my tracks.

The coming battle: darkness and lightning and noise and the dreaded bonfire, and in front of the fire a writhing crowd of vampires locked in deadly battle. Jasper was fighting a veteran of the other coven—I had seen him in another battle last year. Their fight was fierce and complicated. The veteran's right arm was broken off above the elbow and the left side of Jasper's face was torn to shreds. My hand drifted up to my own aching cheek as I watched their snarls and snapping teeth and blurred movements in their frantic effort to kill each other.

The veteran bawled out a command and at least four other vampires swarmed over to help him. Jasper kicked him away and spun around to meet the others, and for a few seconds, he was fine. But then the veteran ran back up and barreled into the fight. They both went down in a tangle of arms and legs and for a second, I couldn't see him at all. Then a sleeved arm was thrown out of the mix, then a leg, and then the veteran stood up with Jasper's severed head in his hands.

"Finally!" he shouted to the others. They all cheered as he tossed Jasper's head into the fire.

"No...!" I grabbed onto that final picture, the moment of his death, and pored over every detail of it, testing how likely it was. I had seen Jasper die many times before; sometimes it had come so close as to be seconds away. This picture was fuzzy enough that I could still breathe, but the moving picture meant that it was still very likely. Even as I watched, the images flickered and changed. Fifty-five percent, I decided. There was a fifty-five percent chance that Jasper would be dead before the night was out. I knew I should check the Diner Day picture and the Family Portrait, but I was afraid to. My vision snapped back to the present: Jasper and the others were still moving toward the hill where the battle would take place. The storm had just begun, wherever they were. Lightning streaked the sky above their heads, briefly painting eerie reflections on their faces. Jasper's eyes were black; hadn't he fed with the others?

I couldn't look away now, not with Jasper in this much danger. Was the other army already planning to swarm on him during the battle? Why wasn't Maria going to help him? Why wouldn't Jasper try harder to get out of it? Why hadn't he fed? I fiddled with my necklace while I waited, feeling the present and the future close in on me as they always did in times like this. It all mashed together in a lump in my throat as I watched Jasper give his final orders to the newborns. Maria hung back as she usually did, ready to sweep in victoriously at the last minute or run if things should go badly. I bared my teeth and hissed at her cowardice. "And you," I said to Jasper in a fury, "you fight. And when you see them coming you run or I'll..." I almost said or I'll kill you myself, but the words got stuck in my throat. "I love you, you big idiot," I whispered instead. "I love you and you better come out of this because I'm still waiting for you."

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The storm was a violent one. I never saw which side started the bonfire, but it was frightening to see the wind whip its flames back and forth. A few minutes into the battle, Jasper already had the wounds on his face. At one point, the flames from the fire flickered so close that he stumbled back away from them, knocking over one of his own soldiers in the process. If one of those flames were to touch the open wounds on his face...

I watched each second as it unfolded in real time, allowing myself only the briefest glances ahead to see if he was still in danger. The likelihood and the exact circumstances of his death kept shifting. First he was totally safe, then it was around fifty percent again, then nothing, then at one point it was a strangling ninety percent, then it dropped again. Jasper fought like a tornado as he always did, but I didn't like the look in his eyes. He just looked so tired. At one point he just stood still for a moment, breathing hard like a human, looking around at the violence pressing on all sides with the most peculiar look on his face... almost like he was falling asleep. I screamed for him to snap out of it, and he started moving again. I was terrified he would blank out like that at the wrong moment.

The veteran started moving toward him. Jasper saw him coming and quickly dispatched the newborn who was just coming at him from the side. He and the veteran circled each other warily for a moment, and then they crashed together just as a gigantic bolt of lightning illuminated the whole scene. I leaned forward, holding my breath. I peeked ahead one last time... down to thirty percent. Good enough. Back to the present.

They fought just as I had seen before. It was over more quickly than I expected. Once the veteran lost his arm, Jasper pressed his advantage ruthlessly. The veteran opened his mouth to call for the others, but with one swipe of a clawed hand Jasper tore his throat open, and no sound came out after all. Two more seconds and the veteran was in the fire. I gasped in relief and checked: the vision of Jasper's death was completely gone now. The battle went on for a while longer, spilling down the hill and away from the fire. The few surviving soldiers of the enemy coven realized the battle was lost, and they turned and fled. Maria took the remaining newborns to pursue them, but Jasper stayed behind and started cleaning up. It was over.

He worked silently, slowly, picking up pieces and tossing them into the fire. Every now and then he'd examine a foot or a hand and set it aside instead; maybe he thought they belonged to his own soldiers. He moved slower and slower.

All at once he sank down to sit in the dirt, staring dully into the fire. He reached up to touch his cheek, but the wounds there had already healed. Eventually he rolled onto his back and just lay there, staring up past the fire and the smoke at the stars; the storm was already fading away into the east. He closed his eyes.

I opened my eyes.

I was on the ballroom floor, wadded up against the wall under the window with my arms tight around my knees. But I couldn't leave Jasper yet. I took a deep breath and found him again. He was still motionless, lying right in the middle of the empty battlefield like a corpse. I lay down on the dusty ballroom floor beside him, reaching out as if I could brush his filthy hair out of his eyes. I'm coming for you, I wished I could say. But all I could do was pull up the very first vision, the one I had seen when I had woken up: Jasper's face, scarred and sad but full of hope. Alice, he had whispered, and that was how I had learned my name. It was still a vision, not just a memory. It was still coming. In my mind, I gently touched Jasper's chin and turned his head so he could see the vision too.

"There, you see?" I said aloud.

The sound of my voice echoing through the dusty ballroom brought me out of my visions again. I left Jasper lying alone on the battlefield and stood up, smoothing the wrinkles in my gown. But now there were streaks of white dust and tears in the soft fabric as well. The necklace was gone, scattered in pieces of crushed diamonds and tiny beads all along the dance floor. That took me back to the other dance floor, but Rosalie and Emmett were just leaving. I had missed everything.

"Tonight was fun," Emmett said, helping Rosalie with her wrap.

"It was," she said. She looked up at him thoughtfully. Her smile lasted longer than usual. They stopped on the very edge of the dance floor and shared a kiss so gentle and sweet and long that the pianist sat back down and began to play softly.

They danced for a minute or two, barely moving, until Rosalie finally let out a sigh and stepped off the dance floor to leave. "If only it were real." She said it so softly that I could barely hear it.

"Hey," Emmett said, catching up to her. "Some things will always be real. Tonight was real. Okay?"

Rosalie nodded and pressed her face into his shoulder. They walked out the door, looking up at the night sky together.

I turned to look with them, but my reflection in the window caught my eye instead. I could see the ways the dress hung on me, too loose in all the wrong places. One of the earrings was just falling off, sliding down the smooth stone of my ear. I caught it and dropped it onto the floor. My hair had escaped most of the bobby pins already, determined to get back to its shocked expression. I slowly reached up and touched the glass that separated me from everyone I loved.

On nights like this, I sometimes wondered if anything was real.

If you haven't yet read the scene where Carlisle pierces Esme's and Rosalie's ears, that's in "The Girl in the Mirror," chapter 28 of this collection. Anyway, my heart just breaks for Alice sometimes when I imagine these years of waiting. I don't think we'll ever know how sure she was that everything would be all right in the end—and since this can be a prequel scene for canon as well as SST, anything was still possible here. As always, thank you for reading, and remember that reviews are like hugs! Stay safe, everyone.