Hello beautiful people! So sorry about how long it took me to write this chapter, things have been hectic lately. Again, thank you for your awesome reviews, favs and follows, it actually served as a kick in the ass to keep writing (the good kind I assure you). I would appreciate you to keep them coming, if not only as a reminder that someone is reading what I write. Warms my cold (secretly mushy) heart!
I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 14. Inevitable
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Rosalie's POV
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Rosalie sighed for what seemed like the tenth time that afternoon, ignoring the irritated glare Edward shot her. She knew her worries were undoubtably causing him irritation but frankly she didn't care. Bella was behaving strangely and Rosalie knew it was her own fault this time.
She had shied away from the mate conversation and now she was dealing with the consequences of her actions. To be fair there hadn't been a right time to discuss it before but when she finally got the opportunity to do so, she chickened out and fled. Bella had to gain her information from Jasper, which was completely unfair to her brother. She only caught snippets of their conversation and although she trusted Jasper completely to be truthful, she knew this conversation should have been hers to take. Jasper had explained mating bonds but not the fact that Bella was Rosalie's mate, that he left for Rosalie to explain. The blonde wasn't sure if she was relieved by it or annoyed, but she knew better than to argue. This was her responsibility after all, not Jasper's.
"Relax will you?" Edward rolled his eyes. "Just talk to her for crying out loud,"
"I will," Rosalie snapped. "Stop listening to my thoughts,"
"I can't help it, they are quite loud," Edward shot back. The two siblings glared at one another.
"Don't worry Rose," Emmett spoke from his place on the couch, making Rosalie break eye contact with Edward. He was fully immersed in the video game but clearly listening in on their conversation. "Bella is smart and will forgive you. She needed time to process,"
"And maybe you should talk to her right now," Alice breezed into the room.
"Have you seen something?" Rosalie inwardly winced at how desperate the question sounded. She hated the pitying looks her siblings gave her for it.
"No," Alice shook her head gently.
"Just grow a set and talk to your mate," Edward rolled his eyes, ducking when Rosalie threw her magazine at him.
"While crudely put, Edward's right," Alice ventured carefully. "Worrying about the possible outcome won't help. You should just speak with her,"
"I know," the blonde sighed tiredly, not even bothering with glaring this time. She knew she was behaving like a coward, but she dreaded the conversation. This wasn't the way she wanted it to happen. She thought she would have more time. She didn't want to scare Bella.
"She has been talking a lot to Jasper for the past few days," Edward pointed out. "He's been helping her with emotional support. Maybe she'll surprise you,"
"Yes, talking to him and avoiding me," Rosalie complained petulantly.
"Can you blame her?" Alice crossed her arms.
"Aristotle sometimes needs time to process things," Emmett paused his video game and looked at the blonde. "But too much time means too much process," Rosalie raised an eyebrow.
"You're right," Edward nodded to whatever he read from Emmett's mind.
"Care to elaborate?" Rosalie did her best to not sound too annoyed but wasn't entirely successful.
"I'm not saying Bella is a flight risk, but she tends to doubt herself and other people as well. When that happens, she is prone to jump to conclusions and second guess everything. While she's finally starting to open up about her feelings, she is a master of self-destruction. If you don't say the things she needs to hear, her mind will conjure up the worst possibly images. You've given her time to think things over, but you can't afford any more of it. You need to clarify things," the brilliant insight into Bella's mind made the rest of the siblings pause. Rosalie wasn't sure if she was grateful for his understanding of Bella's inner workings, or resentful that he recognised it before herself. She knew he was right however, so she simply nodded.
"Well?" Alice put her hands on her hips. "Go!"
"Right now?" Rosalie wondered. Her siblings all nodded in unison. "Fine," Two minutes later she was out the door.
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Rosalie shifted nervously on her feet as she waited for Bella to answer the door. Almost a whole minute went by until the door swung open, revealing her hesitant mate.
"Hey," the greeting was stiff. The blonde inwardly winced and wondered if this set the tone for the upcoming conversation.
"May I come in?" Rosalie swallowed her nerves, unnerved by the careless shrug she received in return. The vampire followed her quiet mate into the living room and took a seat on the couch. Bella however did not sit down and or even look her in the eye.
"Bella," Rosalie called out softly, desperately trying to keep her expression calm and hide the incoming panic she felt rising. Was Emmett's theory right? Did she give her mate too much time to mull things over? Bella was busying herself with cleaning up the living room, although she was just mostly moving things around. It was quite obvious that she was trying to avoid confrontation. "Will you please look at me?" Rosalie pleaded. "Darling?" this time Bella reacted and flinched, which only worried the blonde more.
"I'm not though, am I?" Bella's whisper felt like a slap to Rosalie.
"What?" the vampire blinked in surprise. Finally, Bella stopped pacing and looked her in the eye.
"If I had known about mates earlier, things would be a lot different," Bella's voice did not waver, but her eyes were raw and vulnerable. A pang of guilt hit Rosalie's stomach. The blonde mentally berated herself for not coming clean earlier, to drag this out simply because she was afraid. Of course Bella deserved to know the truth from the beginning.
"I…know," Rosalie swallowed. "I should have told you,"
"Yes," Bella's tone hardened. "Why didn't you?" the brunette crossed her arms defensively.
"I guess I was afraid," the vampire admitted in a small voice. "I wasn't sure how you'd react," at least she was being truthful now. She hoped it wasn't too late and Bella would forgive her eventually.
"Yeah well…" Bella trailed off, unsure to proceed. Then with a heavy sigh, she planted herself on the couch beside Rosalie, although careful to keep some distance between them. The action disheartened Rosalie but she respected it nonetheless.
"What are you thinking?" the blonde inquired timidly, unable to read the closed off expression.
"That we should stop," Bella responded tiredly, unknowingly making Rosalie's insides freeze.
"What?" Rosalie's breath stuttered, completely taken aback by the reaction. She expected Bella to be mad, for sure, but not to stop dating completely.
"I care about you very much Rose," Bella began carefully, shifting her gaze to the floor. "And maybe if the circumstances were different I wouldn't…" she cut herself off abruptly.
"Bella?" Rosalie wasn't sure if she was pleading for her to continue or to stop.
"I wouldn't survive it Rose," Bella's eyes met Rosalie's momentarily and the blonde was blown away with the anguish in dark brown eyes. Rosalie opened her mouth to reply but closed it as soon as she processed the sentence. The phrasing confused her.
"Survive what?"
"You meeting your mate!" Bella practically exploded and jumped to her feet and started pacing once more.
"What?" Rosalie frowned, feeling completely lost now.
"I wouldn't be able to handle it," the brunette continued as if Rosalie hadn't said anything. "I mean I know you are this immortal being but what if we keep dating and maybe in two or three years you meet your mate? Jasper told me the bond is intense and impenetrable, something that last forever. He said mates are completely devoted to one another and no one else can come close to it!" Bella began gesturing wildly with her hands, frustration practically dripping from her tone.
Rosalie's brain finally caught up to the tirade and relief swept through her. Bella didn't know and that's why she was reacting like this. Rosalie swore under her breath. Of course she should have been the one to tell her about mates, not her brother. Rosalie wondered why she thought Bella would connect the dots herself. Bella Swan, who didn't think she was capable of being loved. Of course she would jump to the conclusion that Rosalie hadn't met her mate yet. She probably thought Rosalie viewed Bella as a distraction or something of the sort. Emmett had been right, Bella had started to doubt herself and them.
"Bella – "
"I know some vampires never meet their mates, but I can't really take that chance," the brunette kept going. "And not only for my benefit, but yours as well,"
"Mine?" Rosalie's eyebrow rose.
"Yes," Bella nodded. "Even if you would meet your mate, your one true love, you'd probably reject them because you wouldn't want to do that to me, because you're so fucking noble," the last bit sounded more as an accusation than a compliment. "But you'd only be miserable in a relationship with me when you are literally meant to be with someone else. Which of course would make me feel miserable in return! So ultimately, we'd both be miserable, stuck in some dead-end relationship because of sheer principle," Bella looked her dead in the eye. "Don't make me responsible for your unhappiness. You deserve everything and there's someone out there destined for you," the time-traveler's eyes were intense and serious. "You have no obligation towards me so please spare yourself the pain now while you can,"
"You're worried about me?" Rosalie asked in disbelief, staring at the girl in wonder.
"Rosalie please take this seriously," Bella sounded exasperated. Rosalie knew it was the worst moment to do so, but she couldn't help but to smile. This girl was so selfless sometimes that it was both endearing and alarming at the same time. Bella always put herself in the last place, everyone else's happiness always came before her own.
"This isn't funny," Bella scowled, not amused by Rosalie's smile.
"No," Rosalie shook her head gently. "But I think there's been some misunderstanding,"
"What?" Bella finally paused in her steps.
"This is entirely my fault," Rosalie smile turned slightly sardonic. "I should have been the one explaining the term to you and not Jasper. I was afraid of your reaction but at least I would have clarified your role better,"
"Jasper already told me not every vampire meets their mates," Bella sounded tired.
"While that is true, I've already met mine," Rosalie gave her a pointed look. The brunette stared at her in disbelief.
"Then why the hell are you dating me?" Bella demanded angrily, which made Rosalie blink. She honestly wasn't this thick, was she?
"Bella – "
"I mean they can't be much worse than me? You should at least give them a chance,"
Rosalie just stared at her mate, honestly bewildered at the conversation. Was Bella honestly trying to wingman some imaginary mate?
"Babe-"
"Don't 'babe' me!" Bella was definitely pissed off.
"Okay let's summarise this," Rosalie tried a different approach. "We've already established that I've met my mate?" Bella nodded. "And that I'm dating you," another nod. "See where I'm going with this?" Bella shook her head and Rosalie almost facepalmed.
"It's you!" the blonde had given this moment a lot of thought ever since they started dating, how she would reveal the truth. Despite her nerves and apprehension, she always envisioned it to happen in a romantic setting and the words softly uttered, not laced with frustration and exasperation. "You're my mate Bella!" this stumped the other girl, whose eyes widened and jaw slackened.
"I…what?" Rosalie sighed and softened her tone.
"You are my mate Bella," she repeated earnestly. Bella's mouth opened and closed several times, but no words escaped.
"That can't be true," the time traveler stuttered, shaking her head.
"It is," Rosalie insisted, trying to quell her nerves.
"It doesn't make sense," Bella took a few steps backwards, even though Rosalie made no attempt to stand up. "Maybe you're just confused,"
"I'm not," the blonde carefully kept her tone soft, eyeing her mate apprehensively and wondering if she was about to bolt. She certainly looked like she wanted to. Rosalie watched as Bella moved, but instead of running out the door, she took a seat on the couch again. Rosalie stayed in the same spot, unsure what to do or say. Several minutes passed before Bella finally looked up and met her eyes. Dark brown eyes portrayed more emotions than Rosalie was able to identify.
"How do you know?" Bella's voice sounded small and unsure. Rosalie had to physically stop herself from taking the girl into her arms.
"I've always known," the admission felt like a betrayal for some reason, so did Bella's sharp gaze.
"Always?" the brunette choked out and Rosalie nodded mutely.
"Vampires know instinctively when they meet their mates," the blonde spoke when Bella made no attempt to. "I realised you were my mate the first day at school," something that looked a lot like pain flashed in dark brown eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.
"You thought it was a fluke?" Bella guessed hesitantly. Rosalie almost wanted to nod, to try to justify her actions but knew she couldn't be dishonest now. Instead she shook her head.
"No, I knew it to be true," Rosalie sighed. "We've already talked about my issues with being immortal and why I didn't approach you at first. I was being honest with you then, only I left out the part that we're mates,"
"I see," was the only thing Bella could come up with. "How come I didn't know?" Rosalie paused to think over her next words.
"Humans process feelings differently than vampires. Their senses are duller so I'm not sure if the mating bond affects them the same. At least Carlisle doesn't think so. He seems to think it takes longer for you to feel the bond's full impact," she shrugged. "We're not really sure how it works. We've never met a human with a vampire mate before, let alone a time traveler"
"Oh," Bella bit her lower lip in thought. "Are you sure I'm yours then?"
"I am," in fact it was the only thing Rosalie was sure of in her life. "You want proof?"
Bella's eyes snapped up to meet hers. Rosalie hesitated for a moment, before carefully reaching out and clasping their hands together. Bella frowned in confusion. "I'm the only vampire that doesn't feel freezing cold to you. That seems like a telling sign, doesn't it?" Rosalie smiled ruefully.
"I just assumed you were an unsuccessful vampire," Bella joked, although she seemed a bit more convinced. She even smiled faintly when Rosalie laughed in delight, despite the seriousness of the conversation. They sat for a long time in silence, just holding hands while Bella gathered her thoughts.
"I've always felt drawn to you," Bella murmured finally, which made Rosalie look up.
"What?"
"You told me that after we had our fight," Bella elaborated and Rosalie flinched at the reminder of why they were fighting in the first place. Because she hadn't told the truth. History did like to repeat itself. "You also claimed you wouldn't have been able to stay away forever,"
"I did,"
"Because I'm your mate,"
"Yes,"
"Huh," Bella slumped back, although made no attempt of freeing her hand from Rosalie's grip. "This is the thing you were holding back," she was talking to herself now.
"What?" Rosalie asked in surprise.
"I've always known you weren't telling me everything," Bella explained easily. Rosalie just stared at her, unsure of how to feel about the fact that Bella could read her so well.
"You did?"
"Yes," Bella shrugged. "I also knew you would tell me eventually," she let out a weak chuckle. "Didn't expect this though,"
"I'm sorry," Rosalie looked away, feeling guilty all of the sudden.
"About what?" Bella cocked her head in confusion, an action that was infuriatingly adorable. Now was not the time for Rosalie to get side tracked.
"Not telling you earlier," the vampire sighed. She wondered idly if she would be constantly apologising for not telling Bella things, didn't seem like a great foundation for a relationship. If a future relationship was even an option for her now.
"Well to be fair I wouldn't have reacted that well," Bella's smile was self-deprecating. "Nor would I have believed you," that they could both agree on.
"I'm also sorry for… not giving you a choice in this," Rosalie swallowed hard.
"Did you have a choice?" Bella lifted one eyebrow. The blonde shook her head.
"Then don't apologise," the time traveler said firmly. "Plus you should be more upset than me. I'm pretty sure you just lost the destiny lottery," it was meant as a joke but it fell flat.
"Don't say that," Rosalie reprimanded her softly, hating the way Bella sometimes spoke about herself.
"Sorry," Bella winced apologetically. Rosalie squeezed her hand gently, which thankfully relaxed her.
"So what now?" the brunette wondered out loud.
"It all depends on you," Rosalie admitted. "Now you know the truth, so you have to decide if you want to continue this or not,"
"I didn't think it was a choice?" Bella quirked an eyebrow with a small smile but the humour was lost on Rosalie.
"You always have a choice," she responded harsher than she intended. Not having a choice was what Rosalie hated more than anything in life. Bella had enough of that already and the thought that Rosalie might contribute to that powerlessness, was inconceivable.
"I know," Bella's eyes softened. The words still bothered Rosalie so her frown stayed put.
"I am sorry," if she were capable of it, Rosalie would have shed a tear. "I wasn't going to tell you yet, because it's too soon in our relationship," she paused. "We aren't even in a place where we call what we have a relationship," panic rose in her chest. "I wanted to at least give you time to adjust. I wanted you to decide your own terms, not that you would feel obligated because 'fate' decided we would be a good match. Adds a lot of pressure to know someone was literally made for you. Carlisle told me your feelings would take longer time to catch up to my own so I wanted to give you space,"
"Rosalie," Bella sighed but the blonde ignored her.
"I never wanted to take your choice away," she looked deep into dark brown eyes. "I'm so sorry,"
"Stop apologising for being in love with me," Bella interrupted sternly, before faltering. Rosalie's own eyes widened. "I mean… you said your feelings were more intense so I assumed… not that I know for sure or should be arrogant enough to assume in the first place. I mean I know you care for me but it's too soon and I…" For some reason Rosalie calmed down at Bella's awkward rambling. The brunette seemed honestly distressed by her words and the panic in her eyes suggested she wanted to make a run for it. Knowing she had to intervene before Bella would pass out, Rosalie gathered her courage and went for it.
"I do," she cut in and Bella immediately fell silent. Rosalie knew it intellectually that it was in fact too soon to declare such things, and she had hesitated up to this moment to even admit it to herself. Yet the statement rang true. Carlisle had told her months ago that mating bond was intense and her feelings towards Bella were inevitable, but Rosalie had never allowed herself to go there. Not up until now at least. She carefully gauged Bella's reaction to her half-assed admission.
"Oh, well…oh," Bella shifted awkwardly, which almost made Rosalie smile. For some reason the reaction did not make Rosalie feel distress or worry, but rather fondness. It was obvious Bella had no idea what to do with that, as if the notion was completely alien. Rosalie silently vowed to herself to remedy that confusion, to make Bella believe she was loved and was worthy of love. When Bella made to speak again, Rosalie hurriedly cut in.
"Don't say anything you don't mean," she almost pleaded. Bella's mouth closed again. "We have all the time in the world and I just told you that human feelings take longer to catch up so don't say anything for my benefit,"
"Okay," Bella nodded hesitantly and squeezed her hand. "I do care about you though," she paused. "I'm actually quite relieved as well,"
"Oh?" Rosalie prompted her curiously, wondering where she was going with this. Bella started playing idly with their fingers, lost in thought.
"This makes an awful lot of sense. My attachment to you was beginning to alarm me, I was even wondering if I had some sort of a condition," Rosalie rolled her eyes, of course Bella's mind would immediately start diagnosing herself with some sort of affliction rather than give into genuine feelings. The next piece of information made Rosalie understand that reasoning better. "I hardly trust anyone," the time traveler began hesitantly, briefly glancing up before shifting her gaze back to their entwined fingers. "In my experience people leave, either reluctantly or quite willingly. I'm always constantly on the fence and remain skeptical of people's intentions. To spare me from pain, I shut myself from others and try to keep my distance. I never let anyone fully in because I'm afraid they might break me. You just gave me a confirmation that I don't need to be so afraid, not towards you at least," Bella glanced up shyly. "My heart is safe with you. You told me that we are inevitable, destined. That you won't leave me," the last part was whispered but Rosalie caught it easily. The blonde's heart fluttered at the quiet confession.
"I won't," Rosalie promised without hesitation, without even realising she had spoken out loud. Bella's answering smile was tender.
"Under normal circumstances we'd be moving too fast and alarm bells would be ringing in my head right about now, but nothing about us is conventional," Bella's smirked. "Pretty sure there aren't dating guidelines for vampires and time travellers," Rosalie snorted in humour. "I'm doing my best to work on my emotions and self-destructive patterns, so I won't voice my sympathies for you getting me as a mate," Rosalie glared at her.
"You just did," she deadpanned, reluctantly amused by Bella's cheeky grin. Rosalie silently added 'help to realise self-worth- to her list for Bella.
"I am however in awe that I am your mate," a small blush rose on the time-travellers' cheeks. "It's a disarming thought that there are over 6 billion people on earth and for some unexplainable reason the universe chose me as yours. At the risk of sounding completely corny, I feel like the luckiest woman on earth," Bella's face scrunched up adorably, as if she realised just how cheesy she sounded. "God I did not just say that. What's wrong with me?" the brunette added under her breath. Honestly the mortified reprimand made Rosalie love her even more. The heartfelt words and the quiet confession however had been so unexpected that Rosalie felt momentarily speechless. No one had ever entrusted their heart to her.
"Are you okay?" Bella asked after a long minute of silence. She was staring at Rosalie's dumbfounded expression with equal amount of amusement and worry.
"I think you broke me a bit," Rosalie finally spoke half-joking, half-serious. She smiled when the brunette let out a laugh.
"You can't say stuff like that to unsuspecting vampires," she added with a playful glare.
"I'm terribly sorry," Bella smirked and leaned in. Rosalie accepted the tender kiss with a small sigh, elated that the conversation exceeded her expectations. She savoured the softness of those lips after being deprived of Bella's kisses for days now. Rosalie might be dead already but Bella's kisses always seemed to breathe life into her. It was pure torture to go without them. When they pulled apart, Bella shifted closer.
"I always knew you were a secret sap," Rosalie decided to tease, trying to lighten the mood. She knew Bella's emotional quota had reached its limits for the day. She wilfully ignored the fact that she was a secret sap herself, probably worse if anything. Mates indeed.
"Don't tell Emmett," Bella blurted, not even denying the accusation.
"You don't think he already knows?" Rosalie quirked an eyebrow, smiling when Bella scowled.
"We really need to talk to Alice about her lack of boundaries,"
"I think you just did if she's seeing this, as I suspect," the vampire quipped smugly, which made Bella smile.
"So…"
"So?"
"I think we're at a place where we can call what we have, a relationship," Bella said smartly.
"Is that so?" Rosalie was helpless to the warm feeling Bella's words evoked.
"Pretty sure you're my girlfriend now," the time traveler nodded seriously. Rosalie felt almost pathetic with the happiness that swept through her. Over 100 years old and she melted into a goo at hearing the term girlfriend. Thank god Edward wasn't in the room.
"I feel like we're moving too fast," Rosalie said flatly, smirking when Bella laughed.
"Pretty sure you're stuck with me babe," Bella winked playfully. Rosalie's smile was entirely too goofy for her liking but she couldn't help it.
"This also means you can update your terms of endearment, I'm afraid 'idiot' isn't going to cut it," the brunette continued with a sly smile.
"I'm rather fond of that one," Rosalie pouted, laughing when Bella glared harder. "Fine, I'll figure something out," she sighed dramatically.
"As long as they aren't stupid. While the moment was wrong before, 'babe' is definitely acceptable," Bella quipped but seemed to regret her words when she recognised the mischievous glint in topaz eyes.
"So no Muffin?" Rosalie checked and almost laughed at the affronted look she received. "Sweetie pie?" A glare. "Apple of my eye?" Bella rolled her eyes. "Boo?"
"God no,"
"Bae?"
"No! Emmett has bad influence on you,"
"Doll?"
"No,"
"Queen?" Bella paused thoughtfully before eventually shaking her head.
"Cookie?" Rosalie was having way too much fun with this.
"I will never speak to you again,"
"Cupcake?"
"What even?!" Bella gave her the queerest look Rosalie had ever seen on anyone before and that was enough to break her. The brunette joined her in laughter after a moment.
"I'll figure something out," Rosalie assured her, feeling happier than she had ever felt in that moment. Bella shifted closer so she was practically glued to her side, her head resting on the vampire's shoulder.
"We're going to be okay," Bella promised suddenly, and the leftovers of Rosalie's worries disappeared into thin air. The blonde placed a soft kiss on top of Bella's head.
"Yes," Rosalie hesitated and then a smirk appeared. "My honey-cake,"
"I swear to god Rose, Vampire or not I will kick your ass! Nothing food related!"
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To be continued...
So I had a lot of different ideas on how I wanted to approach this but ended up with this. I hope it's good enough. If it isn't obvious by now, I'm not exactly following the canon completely and have made my own definition of the mating bond. This conversation will of course continue later on in the story and we'll go into more depth but I figured this was a good start.
Finally those knuckleheads are on the same page! By the way I love writing Rosalie and her mushy thought process. For someone who used to think of herself as an ice queen, has surely lost her title at this point in the story. I decided to end this on a sweet note, because holidays are around the corner and we deserve some happiness goddamn it!
Please tell me what you thought of the chapter! Too much?