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The Long Way Home

Part 7

Cashed Up

Chapter 3/3

The next morning they left the town behind and headed out into the wilderness once more. Neither of them had spoken much to one another except when they needed to and the tension between them was high. Sasuke seemed a little angry though and Naruto couldn't decide whether it was at him or at himself. Naruto meanwhile, was just confused.

Kissing Sasuke, being close to him physically, had been easy since their little performance with Morio. It seemed nothing to rest his head on his shoulder, grab his arm or even touch their lips together. Well for Naruto it hadn't been. It was comfortable, relaxing and nice to have such close contact with another person like that even if it didn't have to mean anything more. Sasuke had been a little more stand-offish about it but that was just Sasuke. He might complain a little but he hardly ever forcibly rejected the contact as he might have before the incident at Morio's. But Naruto had figured it was just Sasuke's way coupled with his weird sense of personal space. It seemed okay for Naruto to lick his neck or touch him with his hands, but the moment Sasuke's lips became the focus or the touches became a little more friendly he complained, drew away or got sullen. Well usually. Before last night anyway.

But even with all of Sasuke's weirdness Naruto did think at that point that maybe he, Naruto, was the one acting strangest of all. Their previous friendship had never been like this. The only real times they bonded in a positive way was when they were facing a common enemy. There was no familiar touching, no companionable banter and certainly no kissing. Well maybe once. Or twice. But those had been less a choice and more unfortunate accidents. And after Sasuke had left Konoha, well even just before he'd left, they'd been little better than enemies. So who could blame Sasuke for getting bent out of shape about the drastic change in the dynamic? Especially because it was mainly all Naruto's doing.

Or was it?

Naruto thought back on all that had happened between them and he wasn't certain that he was totally to blame for the new tension. The act for Morio had been initiated by Sasuke, that was for sure. He had seemed so desperate to move on that he might have done near anything to get closer to home. The act itself had almost seemed desperate too, the way Sasuke had kissed him, moved against him and touched him, so really maybe Naruto wasn't to blame thinking that lesser touching than that was okay now. Of course circumstances weren't the same now, not by a long shot but Sasuke still did the odd thing that made Naruto wonder. On their own these incidents seemed like no big deal, but pieced together it presented a bigger picture and shifted the blame of their situation less solely on Naruto and more shared between the both of them.

Apart from the time at Morio's, Sasuke had of his own volition touched him at least three times. He didn't count their time in the box sharing water, that was just survival. So the first incident was when he wrapped his legs around Naruto in Lady Saito's chamber, - albeit just to draw him closer and add a sense of menace to his commands - when he licked the side of his neck and again in the river afterwards when he had rubbed at Naruto's neck trying to get rid of the lipstick left there after his ordeal in the very same chamber. It was an innocent touch, but how different was it from all the other familiar touching? Except for the kissing of course. The last time Naruto had kissed him it had been Sasuke to follow up and push the comfortable boundaries of the kiss. It was him that had moaned and made it into something Naruto hadn't consciously intended it to be. They'd both been drunk this was true and add that to the fact that neither of them had probably experienced anything like that save with each other before and all you had was two confused, drunk and sexually frustrated teenagers groping at each other.

And then came the even more worrying realization of how much he had gotten into it.

He'd gotten hard, kissed him, licked him and bit him because he'd gotten carried away in the moment and because at the time he'd really wanted to. Of course the drunk, confused, sexually frustrated angle might have had a lot to do with that as well, but he refused to believe that no matter how sexually inexperienced he was he would get hard just for anyone. It was Sasuke who had coaxed that response from him and that idea freaked him out for a lot of different reasons.

Foremost he was freaked out because Sasuke was a guy. Admittedly a very attractive guy who looked, felt and tasted amazing, but a guy all the same. He hadn't been lying to Sasuke before, he was pretty certain he liked girls. In his younger days the thought of finally getting to kiss Sakura had made his face flush, his belly flutter and his heart race.

He had never had that same feeling toward a guy, not even the guy he had been grinding against last night. Of course Sasuke could say things to him that made his heart flutter a little bit but it was mainly due to shock and surprise than overwhelming lust. Also he supposed he never spent much time dwelling on it either. The few times he'd kissed Sasuke it hadn't been planned, he hadn't thought about it, it just seemed to be the most natural thing to do at the time. He wondered if that meant he had wanted it more or less.

But the next big hurdle in his dilemma was that not only was Sasuke a guy, but he was Sasuke. The jerk who'd deserted his friends and his village, sided with the enemy on numerous occasions and who Naruto had vowed to stop, fatally if he continued his path of destruction through to Konoha. Of course their fated final battle had come, they'd fought, and despite Naruto's claims to be the one to stop him, he'd choked. He couldn't kill the one person he'd wanted so much to understand, the person he most cared for, his brother, his friend and he'd been unable to follow through. He'd lost, but then Sasuke hadn't killed him either. He'd left Naruto, much like their fight at the waterfall and instead of this time following through on his insane plans had walked away from everything never to be seen again. Until now.

To say that they had a complicated history between them seemed like a gross understatement considering their past together and though admittedly, his obsession with saving Sasuke and bringing him home had bordered on the obsessive sometimes, he refused to believe it was because of infatuation. This was Sasuke, even when they'd been friends he was a belittling jerk who teased him and made fun of him at every available opportunity. He'd gotten constantly irritated and angry with Naruto for doing stupid things but at the same time he did seem to recognize the potential in him too. It drew them together as rivals and friends but it wasn't warm or affectionate and it never occurred to Naruto that he had ever wanted it to be. Sure he could have stood for Sasuke being a little nicer to him, but it wasn't Sasuke's way to get real close to people so you just had to take what you could get and be happy when he did acknowledge any kind of closer bond.

Just like that time Sasuke had said he'd wanted to fight him, the acknowledgment in the statement, the idea that Sasuke felt he was worthy had made his face flush, his belly flutter and his heart...to...race...

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks making Sasuke look back at him with irritation clearly written across his face.

"What is wrong with you?"

"A lot, I think," Naruto replied softly.

Could he be so messed up in the head that the idea of being worthy in Sasuke's eyes gave him the same feeling as the thought of kissing the girl he was crushing on? How fucked up was that?

"Well do you have to stand still for that or can we keep moving?"

Naruto started off again catching up to Sasuke who was watching him closely, irritated but somewhat thoughtful at the same time. When they were side by side they started off again along the dirt track once more.

There were no more signs of new towns that day so the pair wandered off the track at dusk till they found a suitable place to camp for the night. At least keeping the river on their left gave them a clear indication they were still heading in the right direction albeit in a winding sort of long way around direction. But along the river was where the towns were so it was better than just up and heading off into dense wilderness with only the sun and the stars to act as a map. It was annoying to be so far out of his element.

Familiar ways of telling what was north were all but useless apart from following the sun, but the river was a comfort. It might meander a bit but at least they always had clean water at their side.

"We should have bought a boat," Naruto said watching the water and breaking the hours long silence previous.

Sasuke looked at him and then at the river. "That's not a horrible idea, even though the river gets really shallow occasionally. But I like the idea better that we don't have to keep an eye on it when we get to a town. I'd rather have a bed to sleep in occasionally than not having to walk as much and keep guard over a boat. Besides there's too many rocks to negotiate."

For someone who was an outcast and didn't have a real home anymore, Sasuke sure liked his comforts. He was always in a better mood after some hot food, a warm bath and eight hours of sleep on some proper bedding. If he went for too long without these things he became grouchy and irritable. Well more than he usually was anyway.

"Well at least we have blankets now," Naruto put in, spreading out his bedding for the night and sitting on the blankets. He looked up just in time to see Sasuke shrugging out of his shirt. He continued to watch him as he stepped out of his pants too and stood up again, completely naked, the warm pink and orange dusk light making his normally pale skin look ruddy and flushed.

Naruto turned his head away quickly before Sasuke could catch him looking.

"Aren't you coming?"

"Where?" Naruto asked, steadfastly looking at his shoes and nothing else.

"To bathe moron, what the hell did you think I meant?"

"I'll do it later. I'm too tired right now."

Naruto didn't hear a response to that, but he knew Sasuke hadn't left to go to the river yet. So he made himself look up, his eyes skimming over a perfect body quickly to finally rest on Sasuke's troubled expression.

"What?" Naruto asked as casually as he could.

"Don't be weird," Sasuke advised.

"How am I being weird? I'm tired, I'll wash off later. What's the problem?"

"It isn't, so long as you don't make it into one."

That was the trouble with Sasuke. You could pretend something wasn't bothering you or pretend something didn't happen just like Naruto was trying to do right now and Sasuke would ignore the lies and just keep on, confident that he knew the truth. At least that was new Sasuke. Old Sasuke would have been happier not to bother with him. He really missed old Sasuke sometimes. But new Sasuke just didn't seem to like not knowing things.

"It's just a wash teme, you don't need me to hold your hand do you?" Naruto asked hoping that perhaps snideness would get the job down where bullshitting had failed.

Sasuke walked over to him, as always, completely unashamed of his nakedness and squatted down directly in front of Naruto, locking their eyes.

"Don't be weird. Act like yourself. You never used to let me out of your sight unless necessary. "

"I trust you."

"So you say."

Of course Sasuke might think he knew the truth, but it didn't mean that he was always right. Sasuke must think that Naruto was refusing because Sasuke might try something with him again. Either way, obviously pretending nothing happened was not going to get his point across so they might as well deal with it.

"I'm not afraid of you Sasuke. I just need some space."

"Don't think about it," Sasuke suggested. "I'm not."

For some reason that comment made Naruto a little angry. Here he had been all day trying to work things out, find the meanings behind the gestures and trying like hell not to completely blame himself for their current issues and Sasuke had apparently just washed the whole incident from his mind like it was no big deal.

But then, hadn't that been what he'd been telling Sasuke until now? The touching didn't mean anything and that the kisses were no big deal? He suddenly felt very stupid.

"I know I said it wasn't a big deal, but don't you think last night was a little different?"

"Of course it was. We were drunk. And yes, you did say before that that was no big deal for you. I suggest you take your own words to heart."

"Why? Because you want me to forget about it?"

"Not forget, but move on, get over it and for fucks sake, stop sulking."

Naruto snorted, "That's rich, coming from you. You spent most of the day in an irritated sulk. Why aren't I allowed to have five minutes doing the same thing?"

"Because you aren't like that," Sasuke told him simply. "And when you do it it's annoying. That's what put me in that irritated sulk, as you call it, for most of the day. You were being weird."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to have pissed you off " Naruto said insincerely.

Sasuke frowned deeply at him. He really didn't look happy at this point.

"No you aren't. But I am marginally sorry that I broke something between us. But if you keep acting like this I won't be sorry for long because I won't care anymore."

In just a few sentences Sasuke could say so much. He had alluded that not only was last night his fault, but that he also cared that it had obviously bothered Naruto so much that it threw the normalcy of their relationship off what it had been before last night. But it was a close thing apparently. Sasuke didn't get close to people, he didn't care about people so it wouldn't be difficult for him to go back to that state of mind if things remained tense between them. Naruto was shocked to realize how much he had impacted on Sasuke this last month to make him care even a little.

"I think it was a joint effort," Naruto said after a moment. "I just don't know what's okay anymore"

"As if I wouldn't tell you what wasn't," Sasuke told him with a smirk.

Sasuke seemed to be thinking deeply after that. As though he was contemplating doing something he really didn't want to do. And then surprise of surprises, Sasuke leaned forward and gave him the briefest touch of lips against his cheek just like Naruto sometimes did to him when he wasn't expecting it. When Sasuke leaned away from him he wasn't smirking anymore. His expression looked a little intense.

"No big deal, right?"

He wondered if Sasuke was trying to confuse him on purpose. Did Sasuke want a repeat of last night, or did he just want to let Naruto know that his little kisses before last night were okay now?

"I thought you hated it when I did that."

"It annoys me but I've gotten used to it. Just don't make it a habit."

Alright so that answered that. Naruto thought perhaps he wasn't getting everything Sasuke was trying to tell him but he did feel he got the important parts like; Light friendly kisses moderately okay, jamming your tongue down each other's throats may not be so okay. Right, check.

So despite his earlier mind's ramblings about what their relationship really was to him he decided that it could wait. Nothing more would happen so it seemed stupid to dwell on it so much, especially when he couldn't resolve his feelings even in his own mind to his satisfaction. So simple and easy it was, he could deal with that.

"So, are you coming?"

Naruto nodded with a brief smile. "Sure."

Naruto followed Sasuke down to the river like they had done every night while camping out but this time Sasuke bought along a small bag that Naruto assumed held soap and other useful things they had until now just simply done without. Sasuke had bought a variety of things in the market before departing town, but since shopping bored the ever-living shit out of Naruto he hadn't been paying much attention to what Sasuke had gotten. Mostly it was traveling gear like bedding, canteens, rations, flint and a few other odds and ends that would make their lives more comfortable while they traveled.

Naruto hadn't complained about the use of the money because if the maps were to be believed, they may well be traveling for months more before they even caught sight of anything familiar. It made Naruto wonder yet again how the hell he and Sasuke had come to be so far away from home.

They got straight into the river to wet themselves down before climbing out again to set about scrubbing their skin with the soap Sasuke had bought. Sasuke went first, scrubbing the soap over his body till it left slick bubbly streaks on his skin before handing it over to Naruto and going into the river to wash off. He had taken a bottle in with him that floated by his elbow till he was finished washing the soap from himself.

Then he picked up the bottle, squirted a decent amount of something into his hand and then reached up to rub it through his hair after he'd thrown the bottle back onto the bank.

Sasuke had bought shampoo. Naruto stifled a laugh.

"If I don't wash it at least occasionally I'm sure it would start to stick up like yours does," Sasuke told him.

"So by washing it, it only sticks up at the back? Oh yeah, great improvement," Naruto told him with a huge smile standing up and wading into the river.

As he washed the soap off himself he noticed the poor job Sasuke was doing with his hair. He seemed altogether too rushed to get the job done and was missing large chunks of his hair in the process.

"Fuck me, Sasuke," Naruto said wading over behind Sasuke. "If you're going to act like a vain prick, at least do it properly."

Sasuke didn't seem to understand what Naruto was doing until he batted Sasuke's hands away from his hair and set about working the shampoo into the parts of Sasuke's hair he had missed.

Sasuke went a little tense at first but soon relaxed just as Naruto was thinking he'd been a little too forward again. Sasuke let his head drop back as Naruto worked his fingers through his hair.

Generally speaking, Naruto didn't usually like it when people touched his own hair. It was usually to ruffle his spikes in a condescending way and he'd grown up to find it mostly annoying and only sometimes appreciated in any affectionate sense. Sasuke on the other hand seemed to enjoy it. He sighed deeply as Naruto's fingers moved across his scalp and through the ends of his hair. His shoulders sagged and Naruto could imagine that his eyes had dropped closed as well.

When the shampoo was thoroughly worked through he encouraged Sasuke to kneel down and lean backwards so his hair went into the water and Naruto could rinse the soap free of the soft black strands. He'd imagined Sasuke's hair would feel like this: soft, light and silky. Even wet it felt amazing.

Naruto was concentrating on his task so much that he didn't notice Sasuke looking up at him at first, his expression bland, but Naruto could tell from his eyes that he was thinking deeply.

"What?" Naruto asked sharply, not liking to be watched so closely.

"Weirdly you look even more stupid when you're concentrating on something," Sasuke informed him with a smirk.

Unimpressed by the observation Naruto put his hand on Sasuke's forehead and pushed his face underwater.

He'd been just about done with Sasuke's hair anyway and let him up again quickly.

Sasuke's head broke the surface spluttering but he didn't seem terribly angry. He stood up blinking water out of his eyes and continued to give Naruto that smirk before unexpectedly lunging for him, grabbing his shoulders and forcing him backwards into the water. Naruto grabbed Sasuke's waist as he went down, dragging the Uchiha with him and the pair grappled underwater for a moment, both trying to get the upper hand before the need for air became insistent and they both had to resurface.

Naruto got his feet under him first and as Sasuke broke the surface he was quick to sling an arm around Sasuke, dragging him backwards through the water so he couldn't gain purchase and fight back. It seemed like a sound plan to win the fight but having Sasuke's slick back pressed up against his chest, Sasuke's hand covering his own while his other hand gripped the base of Naruto's neck, vainly trying to gain some sort of purchase started to remind him of last night. Sasuke's fingers splayed across the side of his neck, his thumb coaxing his mouth open, his tongue...

Naruto stopped quite suddenly, allowing Sasuke to get his feet under him but stupidly hadn't released the arm around his waist meaning that when Sasuke managed to stand again he unintentionally grazed Naruto's groin with his ass. Naruto let go of him very quickly then. Sasuke still hadn't moved though and weirdly he actually seemed to be laughing a little. Not a lot but it was laughter all the same.

Normally this would be a happy moment for Naruto. Sasuke actually seemed for one of the rare times in his life to be acting like he was happy and not in the least like the sullen unplayful prick that he usually was. But the happy emotion refused to come because Naruto was confused and annoyed at himself again.

He took a sharp step backward away from Sasuke and lowered himself in the water so he could swim away from Sasuke and the memories of what had happened.

Sasuke seemed to realize after a moment that he had been abandoned and swam after him, actually still smiling a fraction. Until of course he realized Naruto wasn't and the expression dropped from his face.

"You know you clearly won," Sasuke told him with an irritated frown. "I expected more gloating than that."

Damnit, why did Sasuke choose this moment to start acting like a normal happy human being? He was smiling and laughing and even more bizarre, actually admitting defeat in their play fight.

"Ha, ha, you lost?" Naruto tried.

"Tch, you even suck at gloating. Is there anything you are actually good at?"

"Fighting you. I've had a lot of practice."

Either Sasuke didn't appreciate the comment or he started to realize something was still bothering Naruto because he stopped following him and looked at him with a serious expression.

"You don't always win," Sasuke reminded him. "You lost the last big fight."

"I would have killed you if I had been able to actually do it," Naruto told him truthfully.

"You know I held back."

"You're too soft. And you give yourself too much credit. You wouldn't have won anyway."

"Don't be so sure. But anyway, you didn't kill me, Konoha is still intact and so maybe you went a little soft too."

Sasuke scowled at him. "You really want to have this conversation again? Because I remember last time I almost broke your jaw.

"Forget it," Naruto muttered dipping his head underwater as though the cool shock might clear the thoughts from his head.

He hadn't wanted to start a fight, he wasn't really angry at Sasuke. The problem was that he no longer knew what exactly he felt where Sasuke was concerned.

When he stood back up he found Sasuke standing closer, right in front of him actually, a dark expression on his face. "Why are you so moody all of a sudden?"

"Maybe you're rubbing off on me."

"I was in a good mood. Why aren't you? Where's that undying cheer now?"

"Why do I have to be cheerful?"

"Because that's how you are."

Naruto watched Sasuke right then with a rare insight. "You care that much if I'm a little grouchy?"

"It told you it's annoying when you don't act like yourself."

"I thought my whole personality used to bug you anyway."

"That's before I realized how much more annoying you were when you weren't all cheerful optimism. You seem...frustrated."

"Sasuke look at where we are, of course I'm frustrated! Aren't you?"

"Not really. I told you why."

"Okay fine, you've got some breathing space for however long it takes to get back. But are you really willing to be stuck here with me for what could turn out to be months? You used to act like you couldn't stand the fact that I breathed and now I'm your choice traveling companion?"

"It makes sense to stick together, I told you this before. And sticking with you," Sasuke took a deep breath. "It's not quite the horror I would have imagined it would be. I don't like relying on people, I usually get disappointed. But you, well, I suppose I can rely on you. I always knew how you would react, even if I hated those reactions most of the time."

Naruto wasn't sure, but he thought he might have just been complimented. "You think I'm reliable?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yes, dobe. If I couldn't trust you, I would have left your ass in that clearing where we first woke up."

Naruto took a moment to decide that, that earned Sasuke a spontaneous hug whether the Uchiha wanted it or not. Moments ago he'd been trying to physically get away from Sasuke but all he wanted now was to feel him close. He rested his head against Sasuke's shoulder, lips against his neck.

"Thanks."

Sasuke arms were still by his side and his body had tensed up at the apparently sudden unwelcome show of emotion but he didn't exactly push him away either.

"Get off me you moron."

It wasn't really a command, more of a resigned suggestion offered even though he knew the suggestion would be ignored.

"Sasuke, do you hate me?" Naruto hated the sound of his own voice right then. The question sounded childish and insecure. But it was something he'd wanted to know ever since Sasuke had left the village when they had been younger. So really, it was a child's question.

"Sometimes. Mostly you just annoy me."

"Do you care about me at all?"

This took a little longer for Sasuke to answer. "Not right now."

"Why not?" Naruto asked raising his head so he could see Sasuke's face.

"Because right now you're being a clingy little girl," he answered with a smirk.

Naruto grinned at him. "You're a jerk, you know that?"

"You keep saying that. So why are you hugging me?"

Naruto leant in, gave him the barest touch of lips against lips before releasing him and shrugging. "Maybe because I know it annoys you."

"Tch, idiot."

And just like that, things didn't seem so broken anymore.

TBC...in Part 8