The Overactive Mind Of A Believer
The Toxic Thoughts Of An Overachiever
Oh Dear, If Only You Could Feel It
Toxic Thoughts: Faith Marie
XX
Caroline Forbes is a believer.
She is the optimist one in the group. Always choosing to look on the bright side of things, instead of spinning towards the depths of darkness.
She is an overachiever.
Anyone would notice. The way she wins almost every title the town can offer or how she's ahead in all of her classes. Even the one she hates, science. The insecurities over every tiny detail in her life. She has to be the best, because if she's not, then what's left?
Always second guessing every decision she ever makes. Thinking she's not good enough. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. That she'll always not be enough. That she's always going to be second best.
Nobody notices her.
Nobody saw how toxic she feels.
She could put on the best Miss Mystic Falls smile she had, and light up everyone else's world; while she crumbles to glass on the inside. She's Caroline Forbes, and everyone only saw what she wanted them to see.
Except for Klaus.
He seemed to know she wanted more, then this small town had to offer. He's able to see past all the fake smiles and the bulletproof walls.
It scares her.
She was supposed to be the bright and bubbly friend, that was always smiling. That's what he seemed to want, but she could tell he seemed to know that the saddest of people can smile the brightest.
He knew that she was used to people letting her down or leaving her alone, that people had only wanted to use her as a replacement for their number one.
Klaus also knew, he had to get out of town.
He didn't want to spend another second in the dreadful place of Mystic Falls. It is the home of the supernatural, and will always attract the most powerful of enemies.
Klaus had made his plan before Bonnie had even been able to start the spell. He needed to get control of his body, and get the hell out of this troublesome town.
He just wanted to leave a message first.
Klaus wanted to make sure Caroline was able to contact him, if she ever needed. She would always be able to come to him. Even though hated him at the moment. He still had to tell her. She was becoming a weakness, though he wouldn't bring himself to say it.
Not wanting to make it more real.
Down in the Lockwood cellar, Klaus awoke in his casket. He could vaguely hear the Bennett Witch crying hysterically against the young Gilbert boy, near the entrance of the cellar. His attention was then quickly drawn towards the shuffling from the other side of the room.
Klaus could tell it was a female based on the light footsteps, coming from a small figure. The shuffling from their footsteps against the cold concrete floor. He only had one guess who it was.
Caroline.
He raises up from the coffin, glad he had left it open beforehand. Looking to the left, he sees the blonde bundle of curls moving towards the sofa that held the unconscious body of his first hybrid.
She carefully moves the hybrids legs onto the sofa, trying to help him rest comfortably. Klaus notices how she keeps glances up towards the crying sounds of the witch. Keeping an eye on both people she cares about in one go.
Klaus takes a step forward, the sound making Caroline jump back in shock. She freezes in panic, "Klaus."
"Hello, love."
He steps forward, quickly making her use her body as a shield from Tyler's unconscious form laying on the sofa. She commands, "You stay away from Tyler."
Klaus scoffs, "I don't want the wolf boy."
"Then what are you still doing here?"
It didn't make sense to her. He was free to go, plus it wasn't like any of them could take him out at the moment. Why was he still there?
"I came to say goodbye."
"Goodbye?" Why would he care enough to say goodbye? Was he just here to gloat, about how he was still alive? She couldn't make sense of it. "So, you're finally leaving town?"
Klaus moves forward, clenching her jaw. "Yes, I plan to be in Chicago by tomorrow."
Caroline rolls her eyes, while scoffing. "So, what? You came here to gloat? 'Hey, I'm still alive.' The big bad hybrid."
"I simply came to say goodbye." He pauses taking in her reaction carefully. "To you, love. Not Tyler. Not to gloat, just goodbye, and that if you ever need any help. I promise," Her eyes wide as he reaches out, placing a small piece of paper in her hands. "You'll know where to find me."
Caroline freezes, while glancing at the number resting on the page. She was speechless. She was not used to people offering her help. Not the type of help that means this much like his does.
She tries to concentrate on the conversation at hand, but her words come out remotely, "Well, goodbye. I guess."
Klaus smiles lightly, "Goodbye, love."
He flashes away from the cellar, moving out past the sobbing Bennett witch. She watches with the weight of his promise, bearing down heavily upon her chest.
XX
Caroline knew something was wrong.
She had passed the feeling off to the fact that the councils members memorial was about to be held, while Tyler and her where off having sex.
Tyler quickly tried to sooth her worry, and get her focused on the task at hand; by telling her grief sex was healthy. That they had no need to worry.
It still felt wrong, but she brushed it aside.
Caroline quickly tries to dismiss her thoughts, while Tyler brings his lips up roughly to hers. He brings his hand up against her back, while pushing her back into the bed. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.
Tyler growls, "Who the hell is that?"
Caroline glances up, catching sight of the new figure appearing. She knows now, that the gut feeling she had ignored was serious.
Tyler gets up quickly pulling on a shirt, before he moves forward leaving the room without another word.
Mikael spares her glance, while he continues to glare numbly at the door. He commands sharply, "Stay up here."
Carol walks to the door calmly, but with a frown upon her face. She knew her son was upstairs, and based on recent developments with the deceased council members. She had to be careful.
She carefully opens the door, revealing a tall unknown man. Smiling politely, "May I help you?"
"Good evening," the man replies. "I'm hoping I can help you, actually. I spoke with Sheriff Forbes earlier. My name is Connor Jordan." He reaches a hand out for Carol to shake.
She grips his hand, before responding, "Carol Lockwood. I know who you are, Connor, and I believe the Sheriff made it clear that the tragedy at the farmhouse was an internal matter."
Connor's face goes stoic, "That's one way of looking at it, I guess. Although I prefer the term cover up. Do you mind if I come in?"
"You know, I really don't think that's a good idea." Connor pushes the door open, making Carol try to shut it back. "Uh, excuse me."
He pushes the door completely open, before smiling sarcastically. "Thank you. You're aware that it wasn't an accident. Any rookie fireman could tell you that."
Carol glares, "What are you? The press?"
"Not exactly. So, twelve Council members are dead, you're the Mayor, why weren't you at that meeting?"
"It wasn't official town business."
"What was it then?"
Tyler walks down the stairs confused, "Mom? What's going on?" He moves forward, catching sight of the man. "Is there something I could help you with?"
Connor smiles politely, "Maybe. How are you doing? I'm Connor." He reaches out his hand, and Tyler takes it warily. His skin suddenly starts to burn. Connor quickly pulls out a pistol and shoots Tyler several times.
Caroline sits up sharply from the bed upstairs confused, while Carol calls out Tyler's name frantically. Mikael growls, "Caroline."
She ignores the dead original, quickly putting on a shirt, before leaving the room. Connor, downstairs, reloads his weapon continuing to fire more bullets at Tyler. Carol yells, "Tyler! Oh my God! Tyler! Tyler, run!!"
Tyler gets up from the floor, and quickly moves to speed across the room, before he smashes through a window. Connor runs out the door after him.
Caroline comes down the stairs, before she stops suddenly. Both women stare at the smeared blood on the floor, before sharing a look of shock.
XX
Tyler growls out in pain, while Stefan pulls out one of the wooden bullets from Tyler's torso, with a pair of metal tongs.
Caroline winces, "Please tell me that's the last one."
Stefan focuses intently on the bullet, ignoring Caroline's question. "These were specially carved; the length, the width. If you were a normal vampire, you'd be dead." He places the wooden bullet in a glass of alcohol to clean it off.
Tyler responds, "This guy knew what he was doing. His gloves must have been steeped in vervain." He pauses staring at them. "He was looking for a vampire, and he didn't hesitate for a second when he found one."
"These etchings..." Stefan reaches out to touch the bullet, but quickly pulls back as it burns his fingers.
"Are the bullets spelled?"
"I don't know." He frowns down at the wooden bullets put together on the table. "They're something."
XX
The squad car was in the driveway.
Caroline walks up towards the front entrance to the house confused. Normally, she would have been thrilled for her mom to already be home.
Except, based on Caroline's memory of her mom's work schedule, which she memorized, Liz was not supposed to be home. "Mom, are you home?"
Liz jumps at the sound of her daughter's voice, quick laying the necklace back in the box. She calls, "In here, Caroline!"
Caroline slowly walks into the kitchen, before glancing around confused. "Hey, I thought you would be at work?"
"Rachel asked to switch shifts." Liz watches as her daughter nods in understanding. "I thought you were getting ready, for the memorial, at Elena's place."
Caroline nods, while moving up towards the fridge. "I was, but with the whole Hunter thing happening. Elena is, now, getting ready at the Salvatore place. Which by the way, I don't want to be there in the middle of their love triangle."
Liz chuckles softly at her daughter, watching her pull out a blood bag. She doesn't think she will ever truly get used to her daughter drinking blood. Even though based on her experiences with other vampires, Caroline seems to have an extraordinary amount of control.
They both settle down in comfortable silence, before Liz's glaze falls towards the letter laying by the black necklace box. She can remember Sam's warnings. The ones about the originals and what's to come. The one about Caroline on Saturday nights.
"So, what do you have planned tonight?"
Caroline freezes, before she quickly looks back down at her blood bag. "Probably going to be heading to Bonnie's or Elena's place. Specially, now that Elena's a vampire. In case something happens, someone else will be there."
She was lying.
Liz knew she was lying.
She knew her daughter, plus Liz was a damn good cop. That response sounded rehearsed, and with Caroline's experience with lying, it was definitely rehearsed.
She was terrible at lying.
For Caroline to put this much effort in trying to hide what she was doing, that means it was serious. Or she's with someone that Liz won't like. She knew that she shouldn't push it. Not today, not with the memorial. Any fight she had with Caroline would not do anyone any good.
But she really wanted to push it.
Liz wanted to know what her daughter was hiding from her, lying to her about. She needed to know, but not today. Today is the memorial, tomorrow she can enter hell.
Caroline looks down awkwardly, trying to focus on something else. Look around the room she searches, before her glaze lands on the black box. She frowns curiously, "What's that?"
Liz jumps out of her thoughts, while turning towards the counter. "Oh, it's something I had as a child. I was going through some old boxes and found it." She walks over, and picks the soft black box up. "Someone very important had given it to me, and now I would like you to have."
She reaches it out towards Caroline, who smiles lightly. "Thanks, mom."
Liz watches as Caroline twirls the box around with her fingers nervously. She smiles, "Open it."
Caroline gently opens the black box. She sees a moon pentagram necklace, with some black rhinestones and a couple of diamonds. One small blue tanzanite stone placed in the middle of the star.
She doesn't recognize it, but she does receive this vague feeling of familiarity. "Wow! Are these real diamonds?"
Liz chuckles, "Yes. Someone important gave me that necklace."
Caroline takes it out of the box, glancing up at her mother. "Help me put it on?"
Liz nods, gently taking the necklace out of her daughters hand, while Caroline moves her hair to the side. She clasps the snap shut, as Liz is overwhelmed with a feeling of déjà vu.
She remembers it like it was yesterday. Her standing where her daughter is now, with someone special clasping the necklace chain around her neck.
Because that was her necklace.
Liz would be able to recognize those markings anywhere. She had no idea how Sam was able to find it. It had been a long time since she saw it, and along with it comes all the memories to come crashing down.
Unwanted memories that held her captive.
XX
Stefan walks slowly into the church, making his way up to Tyler and Caroline. "What are you doing here, Tyler?"
"Being sensitive to the community's loss."
"With a hunter out to get you?"
Tyler stops smiling, clenching his jaw. "I'm not letting a hunter stop me from where I'm supposed to be."
Caroline frowns, "Also, if he shows his face, I'm gonna kick his ass."
Carol walks calmly up to the podium, "Before we begin the Mass, we'd like to open the floor to anyone who would like to share a memory about our late friends on the Town Council. I know that April Young wanted to say a few words about her dad. April? April, are you still here, honey?"
Upstairs in the balcony, Connor moves around laying a wooden stake down into his gun. Carol continues, "Is there anyone else who would like to share a recollection or a memory about Pastor Young?"
No one gets up, while Connor, starts pointing his gun at various people, getting ready to shoot if one of them reveals themselves to be a vampire. He moves the gun around back and forth, while Mikael appears behind him.
Once the gun hits Caroline's row, Mikael waves his hand out towards the gun. Causing it to gently moves over Caroline's figure, while Connor resumes his searching.
Finally, Elena stands up, while Stefan and Caroline share a worried glance. "Come on up, Elena." Connor follows his gun towards Elena's back, watching as she proceeds to walk up to the podium.
Damon enters the church; when Stefan, Tyler, and Caroline all turn to look at him. He walks forward before he dips his hands in a bowl of holy water and touches his forehead, chest, and shoulders. "Don't know why that always makes me smile."
Caroline watches as Damon comes to sit beside Stefan, before his attention gets drawn back towards the front of the church. Elena swallows deeply, "I uh — when I talked to April earlier she was kind of nervous about coming up to speak. And now that I'm up here, I'm kind of nervous too." Elena grips the sides of the podium tightly, while she tries to focus. "The worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them." She freezes, while starting to hear blood dripping from somewhere.
Stefan, Damon, Tyler, and Caroline all freezes momentarily. Caroline turns towards Tyler frowning, "Do you smell that?"
"Blood."
Elena starts to breathe heavily, while Damon tries to take control of the situation at hand. "Nobody move. Don't turn around, it's a trap."
The pool of blood formed under April, drips down from the balcony into the holy water.
Elena stands shaky, trying to fight off the urge for blood. "I um..."
She breathes in and out, but veins start crawling towards her eyes. Stefan quickly comes up to the podium and wraps his arm around her. He whispers, "It's okay, it's okay. I got you, I got you."
Stefan led Elena off the stage and back into the row next to Matt. The priest goes over to the podium. Connor continues to follow Elena with his gun, but points it back at the podium. "Please turn to page forty-two in your hymn book. Let us join together in a song."
While Caroline stands up, she glances worriedly towards. Who she can see starts to turn towards Matt. She can barely make out the sounds of feeding.
As the sings finishes up, Tyler moves out of the role and up to the podium. Caroline watches him move up the aisle confused.
Tyler interrupts, "Excuse me. I just wanted to say a few words about Pastor Young."
Connor recognizes Tyler and moves his gun towards him. Elena asks, "What do we do?"
Everyone sits back down, while Tyler begins. "Back in first grade, I was a brat who couldn't be bothered with team sports. Didn't care much about anything that didn't affect me. But he was the one who made me understand how important it is to be part of a team; a community. Of giving yourself up for the sake of..."
Connor shoots at Tyler, making him spin and fall to the floor. Everybody starts to scream, and duck into the aisles, while rushing out of the church. Damon starts making his way out with the crowd, while Caroline towards Tyler. Carol rushes over to her son's side, and Elena comes up on the stage as well.
Carol gasp, "Oh my God."
Caroline gets down next to Tyler and rips the stake out of his chest. Stefan rushes onto the stage and stands next to Elena. Tyler starts coughing, "I'm gonna kill that bastard."
"Damon's way ahead of you. Stay here, I have to help him."
Stefan turns to leave, but Elena quickly grabs his hand. "What about April?"
Caroline looks up from Tyler, "I got it. Go."
Stefan sends her a thankful nod, while Carol states, "I have to call an ambulance."
"No, he's fine."
Elena walks away, while Carol looks down at Tyler. "The whole town just watched you get shot. I'm calling an ambulance."
Carol leaves, while Caroline looks up to see Elena gone. She whispers, "Elena."
Elena rushes upstairs towards, where she finds April gagged up and bleeding. "April!"
She rushes over to her, but stops when she sees the blood. She tries to control herself as she starts to vamp out, but then rushes towards April to feed off her. Caroline rushes towards Elena and grabs her, "She's not dead, but if you feed on her, you will kill her!"
"Let go of me!"
Elena tries to fight Caroline off and get to April's blood, while Caroline yells, "Look at her! Look at her, Elena! It's April. April Young. She's not a warm body for you to feed on. She's your friend." She slowly starts to turn back to normal, and Caroline releases her. "She's an orphan. Just like you. She's scared. Just like you were."
Caroline bites into her wrist and feeds April her blood. April gasps, as she looks up at Caroline. "Please, don't hurt me. Please."
April calms down, while Caroline compels, "No one's gonna hurt you. No one's gonna hurt you." She stands up and looks at Elena. "She needs you. You can make her forget all of this."
April glances at the girls confused, "Why did he do this?"
Elena steps back, frantically shaking her head. "No, I — I can't, Caroline. You have to do it."
"No. The only way you're going to learn is if you do it yourself."
"No, I can't."
Caroline shakes her head, "Yes, you can. You just need to believe what you're telling her. Okay?"
Elena kneels down next to April, while she gently touches her shoulder. April starts panicking, as Elena compels, "April, listen to me." She looks at Elena. "Everything's gonna be okay. You're gonna get through this. Just like I got through it." Elena begins to compel April, "I'm going to help you. I promise."
April nods, "I'm gonna be okay. You're gonna help me." Elena looks up at Caroline and smiles, while Caroline tries to give a bright smile back.
"You watched the funeral from up here so that you could grieve alone. It was a beautiful service. People said really nice things." April smiles, while Caroline turns around from the girls.
XX
There was silence.
Her mom was at the station, and she was the only one home. There was nothing turned on. Nothing to distract her or make her lose her focus.
Caroline shuts the front door lightly behind her, before she moves the strap of her backpack higher up on her shoulder. It held her extra outfit, so she could change after the party. She didn't like lying to her mom, but couldn't afford to be caught.
This was her secret.
No one will take it from her.
Sitting down on the steps of the porch, waiting for her secret to arrive. Caroline sighs lightly, she knew she shouldn't be doing this. Going out to all these parties every Saturday night a couple towns away from Mystic Falls.
It was just so much fun.
She could let loose and have fun. Not having a care in the world. Her secret was helping her let loose. Of course, she was still a neurotic control freak on crack.
But it was helping a little.
A horn being blown snaps Caroline out of her thoughts. Looking up she sees a black 2011 Ford Mustang GT. Letting out a scoff of disbelief, Caroline stands up and starts to jog towards the car.
She slows down, while the window starts to roll down. Caroline smirks towards the driver, "A new car?"
"Of course. Did you expect any differently, Princess?" He pauses taking in her light smile, "Come on, get it."
She opens the door, sitting into the car comfortably. Leaving all of her doubts and trouble behind. She is not going to let her secret ruin tonight. Even if her secret is known for trouble.
Her secret is Kol Mikaelson, after all.
XX
I've Created Tears Of Pain And Burns Of Lust
I've Created A Forest A Safe Place For Myself
That Others Have Found
Toxic Thoughts: Faith Marie