Chapter 13

Leonard was taken back at her response, the words 'Leonard, we need to talk' always seemed to mean something bad was going to happen when a girl said that to him, even Penny. He struggled hard to reassure himself that Penny was not going to tell him something bad, after all things had been going extremely well with them all week, Penny actually seemed closer emotionally to him then he could ever remember. The past week they had been happy, been super affectionate to each other, and Penny had clung to him every day when they were together, so he tried to tell himself he shouldn't worry. However, the years of disappointment with women and some difficult times he had with Penny in the past made it difficult for him to not be worried, even scared, about what she was now going to say, his mind instantly going to a bad place even though its logical side tried to tell him not to worry.

Of course, with his mind going over to the dark side, Leonard quickly began to overthink and had immediately reasoned they had gone too fast, the sudden change over the last week with Penny now catching up with her, making her commitment issues take front and center in her mind again. That thinking took his mind deeper into its dark place and made him figure he knew what she would want to talk about, slowing down their relationship and even moving back to their old situation where they lived in separate apartments again. His heart now sank and he just walked over to the couch like a dead man walked to the gallows, sitting down and just looking at her, waiting for her to tell him the words that he just knew would destroy all the happiness he had been experiencing since they moved in together.

Penny had immediately sat down on the couch, as soon as she asked him to talk, so she had watched Leonard as he came over and sat down near her, watched as the smile he had when he greeted her vanished from his face and a more resigned look came across his features. It suddenly dawned on Penny that he thought something bad was going to happen and although what she had to say wasn't good it really made her feel bad to know his sudden change and feelings where being caused by her. She now realized she should have used another way of telling him and probably another phrase to open up their discussion but she honestly didn't know how to do this any differently and to her defense she had been upset even thinking about it ever since she had gotten tomorrow's script.

Penny knew she needed to start their conversation and do it quickly, the expression on Leonard's face was going to make her cry at any moment and then it would be almost impossible to tell him anything. "Leonard." she softly started, waiting till he looked directly at her and responded 'Yes'.

"Leonard remember when I told you they were going to have me do more scenes in the movie?" she began.

"Yes, I remember." Leonard responded, a little confused why the conversation was starting out this way.

"Well, I thought that maybe they liked me and that brunette girl's acting, presence or something so they were using us more in the movie." She stopped and watched as Leonard nodded before speaking again.

"I told you what we did the last couple of days, those added scenes with the brunette and me, Monday and Tuesday, and by the way her name is Ashley." She waited for Leonard to nod, then began again, "Then yesterday after I got home, I told you about those extended scenes with the main characters, Ashely and my encounters, and then my singular encounters, after Ashely was eaten." she then waited and watched Leonard.

"Yes, I remember." Leonard was now even more confused than before as he had no idea where she was leading, but his mind being in a dark place now could only assume the worse.

Penny nodded, thinking that now came the hard part, "Well, I was a little wrong why they wanted us, me, to do more on the movie and today, before we started filming, I was given a new update of the script and found out what was really happening. I guess I should have seen something before, but I was too excited about everything that was happening and the actual acting I was getting to perform and what it could do for my career."

Leonard now looked at her with curiosity and more than a little dread, "What was in the new script?"

"Let me explain." she said quietly, waiting for Leonard to just nod and when he did, she continued. "I told you the names of the celebrities on this movie, but I know you really don't know them and don't know how popular they are." She watched as Leonard nodded again. "Well the biggest name is the woman who plays opposite the main male character, she is actually a much bigger celebrity than him, and mostly does movies for the big screen, not any of these made for TV movies, especially Shark movies for the SYFY channel."

Leonard still had no idea where she was going with all this, he still was waiting for the big bomb from her, but at least the words 'break up' hadn't been said yet, so he quietly continued listening, only acknowledging her explanation when required. "Okay."

"Well since I have been working around the main characters the last couple days, I've heard some things, it seems this actress's last couple movies lost money and she is considered a Diva in Hollywood so work hasn't been coming her way. That is why she is doing this movie, and that is why she had been a real bitch to work with on the set, I've heard, she thinks the whole thing is beneath her. Anyway, I heard the scenes with her and the male lead are terrible and she has absolutely no chemistry with him, so today I found out how they plan to fix that, I'm sort of replacing her." Penny sighed and watched for Leonard's reaction.

"You're taking over the female lead for the movie!" Leonard was a little shocked, this was the last thing he expected her to tell him and it sure beat her telling him she wanted to slow down their relationship. "That's great, isn't it?"

"It's not exactly like that. They paid too much money for her to do this movie, to just drop her, so what they are doing is first having my encounters with the main characters be longer, with my character having more action and background in the movie. They are also reshooting a couple scenes that show the lead male and female having obvious friction between them, to sort of hint that there is no affection between them, which supports their lack of on-screen romantic chemistry. Finally, they will add and shoot a final scene with her where she gets eaten by a shark, as a surprise in the movie and as a way to get rid of her so that the main male character can now turn his attention to me." Penny waited for a few seconds to see if Leonard understood all she just said.

Leonard was now really confused why Penny wasn't extremely happy, after all he heard she should be jumping up and down in excitement. "I might not be understanding this all right because I thought you would be happy with this turn of events." This actually was making him worried again, because he knew there was something more, she wasn't telling him.

Penny sighed, she was going to have to tell him the bad part some time, it was just she didn't know it would be so hard, "Leonard, tomorrow I film one of the final scenes of the movie, a scene they wrote in for my character, it is a big make out scene with the male lead, a scene where we are all lovey-dovey with each other, holding each other and exchanging kisses."

Penny felt like she had just ripped the band-aide off an open wound as she looked at the expression on Leonard's face, it obviously being a surprise to him. She couldn't really explain why but this bothered her, it had bothered her earlier today when she read the new script and now it upset her more as she had to tell Leonard what that script had her doing. She knew why it upset her, she had been really happy since her and Leonard moved in together, the fears of losing her freedom and commitment, never really appearing as the joy of living with him soon surpassed everything else.

"Oh." Leonard said softly, he didn't know what else to say. He couldn't help thinking that this was going back to one of his fears, that once she became a fulltime actor that one of those handsome leading men would take her away.

Penny nodded and then repeated just as softly, "Yeah, Oh." she then looked at Leonard directly and very seriously, "I don't want to kiss another man, even though it is acting and it means nothing, I don't want to do it." she now got even more serious and her voice cracked a little as she spoke, "Leonard, I don't know how to describe my feelings after this last week, I do know though that I miss you all the time when we are apart and I can't even imagine another man touching me, especially kissing me, that isn't you."

Leonard was a speechless, never had she said things like that to him before, he really was not prepared for such openness from her, as a matter of fact he had actually been resigned that she may never be able to be so open with him. He was so stunned that the whole reason for the conversation seemed to only confuse him now, her words about how she felt about him the only thing he could process in his mind as he looked at her. However, as the seconds ticked by, he suddenly became aware of the awkwardness that was forming because as he looked at her, he slowly became aware that she was waiting for him to now say something.

Leonard didn't really know the right words to say, his mind had been thinking he was going to lose her to a handsome male actor just before she told how she felt about him and them. But he knew he needed to say something, she was staring at him, waiting, "Penny, I don't like the idea of you kissing another man either, but to be honest I've always understood that you moving towards your career goal of being a full-time actress would involve you kissing other men. I guess that is something that I was always been concerned about and was the reason I joked about you leaving me for someone like Ryan Gosling. I guess I could never understand why someone so wonderful as you even wanted to be with me so I always feared that when you became a famous actress something like that would happen." he explained.

Penny was taken back, she never really realized he seriously felt that way, she always thought it was a joke between him, her and their friends. "Leonard."

Leonard held up his hand, "Please let me finish." he then said softly. "I however have also learned a couple things over the years, things like you can't make someone love you, so if they want someone else you have to let them go. I guess what I'm trying to say is that being an actress is your dream job and to do that job you are going to have to kiss other guys, so if that leads to you leaving me for another guy..." Leonard took a deep breath, "If you find you want someone else, I understand I have to let you go, and I need to stop worrying about it because what will happen will happen no matter how much I think about it." he finally told her.

Penny had a tear slide down her cheek, she felt terrible that he was so insecure about her love for him, especially since she knew over the years, she had fueled that insecurity. Her mind immediately going back to when she dumped him because she couldn't tell him she loved him, that mistake still haunting her even after they were back together. "Leonard, I'm not going to leave you for some dumb actor." she said very quietly to him while looking directly into his eyes.

Leonard gave her a small smile and then just as quietly, "Then I guess I shouldn't be the least bit worried about you kissing some dumb actor tomorrow, should I?"

Penny gave her head a little shake for 'no', then softly responded, "No you don't, you have no worry at all."

Leonard now nodded, "Then Penny you should go to work tomorrow and be the best actress you can be, after all like you said this could be your big break so you should give it your all."

Penny just stared at him for a moment before speaking, "Are you sure Leonard, I'm serious about not feeling right kissing him and only wanting your lips on mine."

Leonard smiled a little more, "Acting is about pretending to be someone else and doing what they would do, am I right?" Penny nodded, "Okay, then pretend you are not Penny but this other girl and it is her lips that are doing the kissing and not yours."

"I might be able to do that, but are you sure Leonard?" Penny asked with extreme seriousness.

Leonard nodded, "Like I said, I knew this day was coming where you would have to kiss other men for you career, I just was hoping I guess that it would happen at a later time, when things were more..." Leonard stopped then swallowed hard before continuing, "I don't know, just at a later time."

"When things were more what Leonard." Penny stared right at him, into his eyes.

"Nothing, it's nothing." Leonard quickly said while turning his eyes down to now not look at her.

Penny however wouldn't give up, "Please Leonard, when things were more what, I need to know."

"It is way too soon; I don't want to screw up things again between us." Leonard softly responded, still not looking at Penny.

"Leonard please, now I have to know, I promise I won't get mad or hold you to anything you say, just tell me." Penny's heart was now beating hard, she thought that he could even hear it, deep down inside she thought she knew what he was trying to say and she needed to hear it.

Leonard slowly brought his head up to look at her, "I was never going to mention this now, I was giving you all the time you needed. I love what we have now and I would do nothing to jeopardize it, so please don't think you need to answer anything when I tell you, okay?"

Penny nodded, it seemed like butterflies where in her stomach, "Okay, I promise."

"I meant when things were more permanent between us...that we were married." he said the last part so softly that Penny almost didn't hear it.

Penny stared at him, but not for what he said because in a way it was not a surprise, she knew he loved her deeply and to be honest, she had a much deeper love for him too, especially after now living with him. She honestly couldn't see herself with anyone else anymore and then she suddenly got scared, not because he mentions marriage but because she knew it would kill her if she ever lost him. She had never felt this way for any guy until Leonard came along and she had been much more open with him than any other guy, letting him into who she really was and giving her heart to him. This had led to one of her greatest fears, her emotions where now tied to him and he held a great power over her to hurt her like no other man had ever had, a power she gave to him because she trusted him and truly believed he loved her. However, that trust didn't extend to the people around him, Alex immediately coming to mind, and she knew if she didn't make their relationship move forward with him, she would be always be worried that every encounter he had could lead to another woman taking him away from her.

Penny just looked at him as her mind came to a conclusion, she was very happy with the way things were now between them and just like him she didn't want anything to change, at least change for the worse. She had found that living with him hadn't really changed her life, like she had always feared, and she saw no reason why she should leave what she had with Leonard, she was still able to continue working to become an actress and actually with Leonard she was making progress she never made before. Plus, most importantly deep down inside she really loved him, loved him so much it hurt, she actually was planning on marrying him someday, it was just not today. So, in one moment it was settled in her mind, just talking about it didn't scare her or make mad like before, it was just something that had to wait a little while and with that thought a small smile formed on her face. "Leonard, I think about marrying you too, but just not now and I'm not upset that you think the way you do about it because like I said it is in my mind, too."

Leonard could have been knocked over with a feather as he now stared at her a little stunned, she had never made such an admission to him before. "You...you..what?" however, was all he could get out of his mouth.

Penny smiled, having to restrain herself from just jumping on him and kissing him, a sudden urge to just tell him 'YES' she would marry him crossing her mind, she knew how happy it would make him and she just loved making him happy anymore. However, she knew today was too early and she hoped that he understood, so she just repeated to him what she said before to reassure him. "I think about us getting married, Honey. I mean look at us, we have been living together and it have been really good, and we have been happy, at least I have been. It is hard not to think about making it permanent, especially when you love the guy you are living with." she gave him a shy smile with those last words.

"Really!" Leonard still couldn't get over she was actually discussing marriage with him and not getting mad or upset.

Penny nodded, "I love you, people in love usually get married, so yes it is on my mind and it doesn't scare me like it did before, actually it feels like something that will happen and will happen with you...just not today."

Leonard was still a little stunned that he was actually calmly discussing marriage with Penny, but at least the initial shock was over, so he nodded. "I love you too Penny and like I said before I will wait for you."

Penny smiled. "Thank you, and I promise not to make you wait too long."

Leonard gave her a nod and a smile, "Okay."

"Well, I'm hungry and I need to study lines tonight, so..." Penny gave him a dazzling smile, she needed to change the conversation, she was not use to laying her feelings out like she had just done, even though she had been doing more and more with Leonard.

Leonard gave her a large smile back, "Well I have spaghetti simmering, garlic bread and salad, it's not fancy, but it will fill you up."

"Spaghetti sounds great." Penny said while continuing to smile at him.

"Well why don't you get comfortable and I'll bring you a plate." he then got up and headed to the kitchen area.

However, Penny got up with him and followed him making him turn and look at her confused, which made her blush and giggle, as she explained. "I would like to eat quickly, so we can start with reviewing my lines early so we can go to bed early." she stared right into his eyes, "I really need some serious loving tonight."

Leonard's jaw dropped and it took a second for him to recover, her expression as she looked at him just dripping sex. He took a deep breath, "Okey Dokey." he then turned and hurried to the kitchen to get the food, Penny close on his heals.

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The next day Penny was more concerned about leaving Leonard than her acting in the movie that day, she couldn't seem to be more than a foot or two away from him since they discussed their relationship and marriage the night before. Leonard had spent a couple hours the night before rehearsing her lines with her and sharing little kisses with her throughout the whole time, whether she got her lines right or not. He also helped her with the scene where she kissed the other actor, their recreation of the scene getting more and more intense with each attempt until they were kissing each other like there was no tomorrow, which quickly escalated to them making love in their bedroom. Their whole love making had been amazing and by the time they finished they both held each other close and couldn't let each other go, falling asleep in each other's arms and waking that way the next morning. So, Penny really didn't want to leave the apartment or even their bed that next morning, the emotional high she had felt since their talk still just as strong as it was the night before. It was only Leonard's calm soothing voice about how today was important for her and the kisses he gave her that finally got her out the door, but she still drove on autopilot all the way to the movie site, her mind refusing to focus on anything but him.

Today was different for Penny, the whole week her costume for the movie was mostly just a bikini, but today she was filming some of the last scenes and she got to wear shorts and a top. However, it was difficult for her to concentrate that day, her mind still not wanting to leave their apartment and the cute Experimental Physicist that she was now getting very serious with, so it only left her one opinion. She had been instructed many times in acting class about immersing herself into the character, and Leonard's reminding her of that, had it front and center in her mind that morning so as she waited for her first scene she kept telling herself she was Susan, a pretty carefree college cheerleader who had just survived from one of the most horrible experiences of her life. It helped her through the day, Penny's ability to separate herself from the character let her make it through each scene, even the kissing and the short make out scene without the guilt she had from the night before.

So, it was a very happy Penny that practically ran out of the tent used as a dressing room to the cast and crew parking area where Leonard was waiting for her, practically jumping on him as soon as she was close enough. Neither of them had any idea how long they kissed but they finally had to stop when they heard 'you two need to get a room' and the laughter of several people. They both then looked at each other and smiled before they were able to let go of each other to get into Leonard's SUV, Raj having dropped Leonard off at Penny's location after Leonard was off work so that he and Penny could be together in one car. Penny would have claimed Leonard was in full Romance Ninja mode that night, because they then went to a nice restaurant on the ocean front to eat and afterwards took a walk along the beach under the stars, Leonard actually doing the same as her and taking his shoes off to let the surf wash up on his toes, to Penny's delight. The night ending with a very touchy ride home and several hours in bed pleasing each other before the both of them fell asleep exhausted but very happy.

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The weekend went very well for Leonard and Penny, it would have been perfect if it wasn't for the several times during the weekend that they had to chase Sheldon away from their front door because Leonard wanted to spend his time with Penny instead of doing things with him. It reached its worse on Sunday morning, when Sheldon started knocking on their door at 6:30 AM, to make sure that Leonard would be ready to drive them both at 7:00 AM to the Sunday morning paintball match that morning. Leonard and Penny both woken up, by his knocking, from a deep sleep that they had only just started at 3:00 AM that morning after some serious love making the night before. Penny who had been comfortably sleeping practically on a warm Leonard, was especially angry at the Wack-a-Doodle for disturbing them so while Leonard tried to explain to his friend why sleeping in with his girlfriend was something he preferred to paintball, Penny reached over from her warm spot in bed to get her cell phone.

"Hello." a tired voice answered her call.

"Did I wake you up?" Penny asked, not really concerned if she did since she had been woken up.

"Penny?" the voice answered

"Amy, you need to come get Sheldon now." Penny quickly said with a little anger in her words.

Amy sighed, "What is he doing now?"

"He is at the front door lecturing Leonard on his obligations to take him to paintball this morning and how he is also required to participate." Penny explained based on what she was hearing of the conversation from the front door.

"Well Leonard did tell him things wouldn't really change much after you two moved down to the third floor together." Amy tried to explain.

"AMMYY!" Penny whined in tired frustration, "Leonard and I didn't get to sleep till 3 this morning and we both were extremely wore out. We just need to sleep for a while longer to regain our strength, so Sheldon needs to BUG OFF!"

"Oh." Amy quickly understood what why they were up till 3 AM and had regain their strength. Amy sighed, "I'll call him."

"Thank you, Amy. He needs to know things are different now and that Leonard and I are moving our relationship along." Penny explained, feeling she needed to explain it to Amy.

"I know but you know he has trouble with change. It was why he refers to you as the succubus that stole his friend."

"He calls me a suc...suck-you-bus?" Penny asked in confusion.

"Succubus, do you know what it means?" Amy asked

"It has 'suck' in it and Sheldon called me it so it can't be good, I expect."

'No, it is not, anyway I'll call him."

"Thanks Amy, I promise we will talk to Sheldon later on about this stuff, but not this morning." Penny told Amy as sort of an appeasement.

"Okay, bye." Amy responded.

"Bye." Penny then listened to hear Sheldon's phone going off a few seconds later and heard some 'Yes, Amy' and 'but he promised' replies before she heard their front door close and Leonard showed up in the bedroom again.

"You called Amy, didn't you?" Leonard accused.

"Leonard it is 6:30 in the morning." Penny whined

Leonard climbed into bed and took Penny into his arms before he kissed her hard, finally ending the kiss to look into Penny surprised eyes, "That's my girl, thank you."

A big wicked grin formed on Penny's face, then she suddenly pushed Leonard on his back and straddled him, immediately rubbing herself on him and getting the result she desired, while still looking into his eyes. "I need to be relaxed again before I can sleep." she told him while smiling.

Leonard smiled back, "Okey Dokey."