A1969: I can't believe that I'm updating faster! Yayness!
Sango (to Miroku): you gave her some sugar again, didn't you?
Miroku: erm…she begged?
Sango: you know how…energetic she gets!
A1969: lalalalalalala!! I can update!
Sango: great, now we have to wait till it's out of her system.
Miroku:-sigh- anyway, since out authoress is feeling a bit…energetic—
A1969: tralalalala!
Miroku: --Sango and I will have to do the disclaimer. The authoress does not own the show, or any of its characters, logos, music, etcetera, etcetera.

C H A P T E R S E V E N T E E N: M U S I C

CoCoCoCoCoCo

-o-o-Clara-o-o-

I could feel nothing but cold.

But that wasn't true. I could also feel the full force of the waterfall as it kept me under. I could feel blasts of water on my face, on body…

Everywhere…

Cold.

Was I dead yet?

I could feel my lungs burning, trying to force me to surface for air. But even if the rush of the water wasn't holding me down, I doubted that I would resurface.

Cold.

Did Kikyou feel the cold too? She was dead…Would she still feel it? No. She wouldn't feel anything now. Not the warmth of the sun, the chill of winter, neither would she feel the cold.

But I could feel the cold.

The waterfall pushed me even deeper and deeper into the cold, holding me under, cutting off my air, suffocating me. I couldn't breathe…

I didn't want to breathe.

-o-o-Sesshoumaru-o-o-

The stars moved about in the sky, the only indication that time had passed. I had left Midoriko's reincarnation an hour ago at most, and returned to where Rin and Jaken were. It was best to leave that girl alone while she grieved. An image of her crying suddenly flashed through my mind and I felt revulsion rise within me.

Weak.

She was weak. She, the reincarnation of Midoriko, allowed her emotions to take complete control over her. I am amazed that she even made it this far alive.

My gaze lingered on the stars just in time for a shooting star to cut through my vision. I let out a sigh. The girl had been gone long enough. It was best to get her now. I quietly stood up, taking care not to wake Rin. I left the camp and retraced my steps, following the girl's scent.

The girl…

I truly did wonder what it was about her that pushed to Kikyou to train her. Did Kikyou, perhaps, see some potential that escaped my eyes? That would be unlikely. I suddenly remembered the time she had imprisoned me in one of her holy barriers. It was still useless; I still managed to destroy her barrier.

I continued following her scent until I arrived at the spot where I had left her. To my right, the waterfall roared, cutting off sound.

I stopped.

There was another scent.

A scent other than the girl's.

A scent that I had been hunting for.

I quickly pulled out my Bakusaiga at the same time, I spun around and pointed the blade at a clump of trees. "Dragon Strike!" I watched as my attack easily tore down the trees, swirling in a haze of power, in the shape of a blue dragon.

I suddenly heard laughter—mocking me.

I focused my gaze at the very heart of the Dragon Strike where waves of blue lashed the most. "Sesshoumaru-sama." I hate that voice.

I could make out Naraku's barrier. The Dragon Strike lashed against it, not capable of penetrating it.

Naraku was such a coward.

"Save your energy, Sesshoumaru-sama," Naraku said, his eyes glinting with malice.

I glared at him. And then I suddenly remembered why I had come here in the first place. "What have you done to the girl?" I asked, my voice calm.

Naraku smirked. "The poor girl," he crooned. "Poor Midoriko. She felt so guilty, Sesshoumaru-sama. She blames herself, you see. She cannot get over the fact that it was her fault that Kikyou died."

"Where is she?" I asked again, getting annoyed.

Naraku chuckled. How I hated that sound. He looked at me, his red eyes filled with nothing but amusement. "Where is she, you ask?" Naraku asked. "Let me ask you, Sesshoumaru-sama, why is it that you protect such weak creatures? These creatures called humans?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Where is the girl?" I asked again, tightening my grip on Bakusaiga.

He laughed and then his eyes gazed on the waterfall to our right.

My eyes narrowed. The girl's scent ended at the waterfall…

She had jumped in.

Naraku was laughing again. "The human heart is a weak one," Naraku said with relish. "Humans who cannot escape their guilt immediately seek refuge in death—it shows you how weak they are!"

I charged for him, aiming my Bakusaiga at his barrier. To my surprise, the bastard dispelled his barrier and at the same time, he parried Bakusaiga with one of his tentacles. I swerved the sword and aimed for his neck. Another tentacle blocked my way, to my annoyance.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," he said. "Are you truly going to finish me off and let the girl die?"

Damn.

I had nearly forgotten that stupid wench.

I glanced slightly behind me, at the waterfall, then at Naraku…

Would I continue to battle Naraku, or save the girl?

Damn that foolish girl!

I quickly pulled away from Naraku and veered towards waterfall. I didn't hesitate to jump into the cold water, letting the dark swallow me.

-o-o-Clara-o-o-

My lungs were on fire, my muscles contracted, willing me to rise. But my mind had complete control over my body and I didn't want to rise. I wanted to sink, sink into the dark depths that all living things gradually fell into…

Clara…

A voice. In my mind.

The voice was familiar, but I couldn't place it. My body was slowly giving out due to the lack of oxygen. I felt dizzy, my head affected by the lack of air. Was the lack of air making me hear things?

What are you doing…?

That voice.

I must've been delusional…

Or was I?

The voice was very familiar, and yet, I couldn't place it.

Will you give up so easily? Will you escape the light and sink into the dark abyss?

Dark abyss…

Death. To die is to give up life. It is to give up the sun, the warmth, the joy, the hope, the laughter, and the love. More than that, it was to give up yourself. Did I want to give up myself? Did I want to be buried forever in perpetual darkness? Never to see my friends again?

At the word 'friends' images of those whom I have come to regard as friends appeared in my mind. Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Shippou, Kirara, Rin, even Jaken…Ah-Un…

…Lady Kikyou…

"She cannot see your tears." This was not a voice in my head. This was a voice in my memory. Sesshoumaru's voice, I suddenly realized. "Crying is useless, so cease."

Useless…

I had no delusions. I knew he thought I was useless. I suddenly wondered what he would say when he knew that I had killed myself…

He'd say that he had been right all along. He'd say that Midoriko's reincarnation was useless. Weak. Pathetic…

Live. Live, Clara.

There was that unknown voice again telling me to live…to live…

I suddenly didn't want to die.

I wanted to live.

But it was still useless. My body was far too weak. I had been deprived of air for too long. My mind was slowly shutting down, I could feel my muscles going limp, I could feel my heartbeat slowing down and my vision was slowly obscured by a veil of black…

I closed my eyes…

I suddenly felt a different pressure than that of the waterfall pushing down on me and at the same time, I could sense a tremendous amount of demonic aura. I wondered who would even save me. Takeshi perhaps? I felt two arms grasping my shoulders, pulling me up…

Air!

I could feel my body leave the water, feel my head break through its surface; I could feel the rush of cold air against my face as my savior carried me from the water and onto dry land.

I was free from the water.

But I still couldn't breathe.

I suddenly felt two powerful hands against my chest, pushing down, forcing the water out of my lungs. It worked. A second later, I opened my eyes, sat up and gagged as I coughed water from my mouth. I quickly inhaled lungfuls of air as though I would soon run out of it. I breathed deeper and at the same time, I coughed again. I could feel my heart beating faster within my chest, pumping the oxygenated blood throughout the rest of my body.

"Fool," a cold voice hissed menacingly.

Oh no.

I recognized that voice.

I coughed again and I looked up to see Sesshoumaru towering over me. He had saved me? Him? Of all people? Strange, I thought he would've let me drown. I looked up at him. His face didn't show much emotion, but his eyes were narrowed menacingly, almost angrily.

He was angry that he had to save me. Angry that I had wasted his time. Again.

"Se…shou…maru," I said in between coughing and breathing.

"Wench," he said, his voice colder than usual. "What did you think you were doing?"

I coughed again, remaining silent. Now that he had saved me, I realized how foolish I had been. I had tried to kill myself. I was ashamed that I had tried. I hung my head and didn't reply.

I could feel his cold glare on me. "Foolish," he said, his tone cold and…disgusted? I couldn't tell.

I looked up at him. I only realized now that I was shivering from the cold. "You tried to kill yourself because of your guilt. What a fool you are," Sesshoumaru added. "Only the weak feel guilt and remorse."

I kept quiet. But his words pierced me like a blade. They were so true. I was weak…and pathetic…and foolish…and all the other negative adjectives that I couldn't seem to think of right now. I looked down at the ground as Sesshoumaru continued to glare at me, like I was a child.

"Kikyou would've been ashamed of you."

My eyes widened.

Lady Kikyou…

Would you have been ashamed to see me now?

Of course you would.

Sesshoumaru's words were true. I was silent, staring hard at the ground. My coughing had ended but I was still shivering. In the distance, the sun slowly climbed the mountains, bringing dawn along with it. It was still dark, but there was now enough light for me to make out Sesshoumaru's face. He was still looking down at me, eyes narrowed.

"You're a waste of my time," he said as he turned and left. "I expect to see you at the camp soon."

His words actually hurt. Why? He had insulted me before, but why did his words hurt so much more now? I waited until he was away, until his demonic aura faded in the distance, then I stood up. My legs were still shaky and I had to stand still to steady myself a bit. I took a deep breath of air and sighed. I had been so foolish…

The sun was now visible on the horizon, but it was still dark. The sky had a dark orange tinge to it and I could still make out the stars. I should get going. Sesshoumaru was mad enough as it were, I didn't have to waste enough of his time.

You're a waste of my time…

I sighed and looked at the direction which he had left for. I would have to follow now. I took a step in the direction which he left, and then I stopped.

Kikyou would've been ashamed of you…

My arms automatically wound themselves around my waist. Lady Kikyou, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I tried to kill myself, so sorry that I was my fault that you died…

The wind suddenly blew against me, making me shiver even more. I was still wet. I began to follow Sesshoumaru, but then I stopped. I didn't want to go back to him yet. I wanted to be rid of the guilt, wanted to be free of it…

I had to go home.

CoCoCoCoCoCo

-o-o-Sesshoumaru-o-o-

I could feel the water against me. It was cold, but to a demon such as myself, it was nothing. Not only was I fast on land and in the air, I was fast in the water as well. My eyes scanned the dark water, trying to find the girl. I could feel the force of the waterfall as it tried to force me under, to no avail. The rush of the water merely felt like a weak breeze.

Unlike a human and other demons, I could hold my breath for a long time, which was convenient because, in the darkness, it was hard to find the girl. Of course, she couldn't hold her breath as long as I could, which meant that I had to find her. Fast.

My eyes gradually adjusted to the dimness of the water. And then I saw her. She was directly beneath the waterfall, the rush of the water keeping her down, holding her prisoner. She looked pale—too pale. Her hair floated wildly around her face and her eyes were closed. She looked…peaceful. Most humans in her place would have been squirming violently, but not she. She looked as though she could merely have been asleep.

Was she dead?

I hurriedly swam towards her, easily cutting through the violent water as if I were merely flying. Once I reached her side, I wound my arms around her shoulders. She was cold. Too cold. Was I too late? For her sake, I quickly swam to the surface. No, I didn't swim. This time I flew. I broke through the water and flew towards the cliff. I carefully placed her on the hard ground.

She was not breathing.

I narrowed my eyes. I didn't want to use Tenseiga. Not yet. Knowing this girl's tendencies to attract trouble, I may need Tenseiga in the future. But certainly I didn't need it now. Maybe it wasn't too late yet.

I pressed both my hands to her chest, one hand on top of the other in an attempt to force the water out of her lungs. A moment later, her eyes fluttered open and she hurriedly sat up and began coughing. I let her catch several gulps of air before I attacked her.

"Fool," I hissed. Her pathetic attempt at suicide had angered me and I did not know why.

She stiffened and then, carefully, she looked up at me. There was disbelief in her eyes. Disbelief, perhaps, at the fact that I had saved her? But I couldn't be sure.

"Se…shou…maru," she said as she continued to cough. I inwardly cringed. Some humans were just disagreeable.

"Wench," I said, not bothering to hide the anger in my voice. "What did you think you were doing?"

She coughed again but otherwise didn't try to answer my question. Was she regretting her foolish decision? I couldn't tell. Her silence seemed to calm me a bit, however.

To think that Midoriko's reincarnation would be reduced to this…

"Foolish," I said, feeling disgusted with her. The events had only proved that this girl was indeed weak, no doubt about it. If she were every bit as strong as her former self, she wouldn't have given in to her misery and guilt so easily.

She looked up at me, her blue eyes, I suddenly noticed, didn't look like sapphires anymore. They looked more like a dreary pale blue color, and yet I could have sworn that they had been sapphire. Perhaps they changed with her mood? At the moment, I didn't care.

I continued to gaze at her and I noticed that she was shivering. Good. Still, it was not enough. "You tried to kill yourself because of your guilt. What a fool you are," I went on. "Only the weak feel guilt and remorse."

She was still silent, as though she couldn't here me. This annoyed me, I had to admit. So, I said the words I knew would provoke a reaction from her.

"Kikyou would have been ashamed of you."

Ah. She looked up at me, her eyes wide. She looked as if she wanted to contradict me, but thought better of it. After all, was it not true that Kikyou would have indeed been ashamed of her? Clara had tried to kill herself out of guilt, shame and remorse.

At the far east, I noticed a slight tinge of pale pink on the horizon. Sunrise. It was time to return to Rin and Jaken. "You're a waste of my time," I said as I turned to leave. "I expect to see you at the camp soon."

I didn't bother to glance back at her as I turned to leave.

CoCoCoCoCoCo

-o-o-Kagome-o-o-

The sun was still low in the sky, but I was already awake.

I wasn't the only one, though. In truth, neither of us had any sleep last night. The news of Kikyou's death had shocked us to the core, paralyzing us with disbelief. I sighed as I looked around at the others' expressions. They were already accepting the fact that Kikyou was no more and I, in truth, had long since accepted the fact that she was gone—that didn't mean that I was over her dying, though.

I sighed as I looked up at a tree. Inuyasha was sitting in one of its branches, staring blankly at the horizon where the sun rose steadily. I knew that there were two things on Inuyasha's mind right now. First, most important of all, was Kikyou's death, second was the way he had treated the bearer of bad news—Clara. He was troubled about Kikyou's death—more than troubled, he was anguished. I sighed again. Inuyasha's reaction to Kikyou's death was so violent, sometimes it made me wonder whether or not he really was over her…

He was also miserable because of the way he had treated Clara. When she had told him of Kikyou's death, he had blamed her, even taken her by the neck in a fit of rage. If it had not been for Sesshoumaru, Clara would've been dead for none of us—at that moment—had had the guts to tell Inuyasha off.

Speaking of Sesshoumaru…

Why did he save Clara? In fact, why had he left with her in his arms as though they had been traveling together? If they were traveling together, then why? Why would she travel with Sesshoumaru and not us? Though the questions longed to be asked, I didn't dare, not with Inuyasha this way, not with the way everyone was.

I sighed again for the last time that morning.

My questions would have to wait; for now, my first priority was to console Inuyasha.

CoCoCoCoCoCo

-o-o-Clara-o-o-

I stumbled into the clearing where the well was and presently felt myself collapse against the well's hard wood. I was still shivering despite the sun's warmth. My clothes weren't as wet anymore, they were damp. My hair was still soaked, though. I had a feeling that the cold didn't come from the dampness of my clothes, but from Sesshoumaru's words.

"Kikyou would've been ashamed of you."

I cringed. He was right. The fact that I had attempted suicide was enough to confirm that Kikyou would have been ashamed of me. Kikyou, whose death had come about because of my stupidity…

I felt tears sting my eyes. I drew my knees up to my chin and leaned by head on them and cried. Urgh! It was so annoying. The guilt that racked me was driving me crazy. How did one cope with such guilt, with such sorrow?

"Lady Kikyou," I whispered as I sobbed. "I'm so sorry…" My heart twisted with the guilt and the shame, and the void swallowed me whole, drawing me into the darkness and despair of death…

"I'm so so sorry," I sobbed. "If I hadn't been so weak…"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I felt two arms go around my shoulders, pulling me towards someone who was kneeling in front of me. I felt my head make contact with his chest and I immediately stiffened. Just before I could react and scream, a familiar voice whispered to me. "Sh…" Takeshi whispered, his tone smooth as silk. "Midoriko…do not cry."

I looked up at him, shocked. "T-takeshi?" I asked, feeling uncertain. His arms tightened around my shoulders, drawing me closer. It was not a romantic gesture—it was more comforting.

"What has happened to you, Midoriko?" he asked, as he held me an arm's length away to wipe the tears from my eyes with his thumbs. "Why do you cry so?"

I shook my head and leaned against his chest. "I…I'm responsible…" I began. "L-lady Kikyou…"

"Hush," he said, as though I were a child he was trying to lull to sleep. "Speak no more, Midoriko, for I see the pain it brings you."

He let me sob for what seemed like a few minutes, and then I pulled away from him. "Thank you, Takeshi," I said, looking up at him. I knew my eyes were still red and puffy; that and the fact that I was a real mess—my hair disheveled, my clothes wet—didn't seem to bother him at all. I looked into his eyes, which were warm and gentle. Suddenly—I don't know why I did it—I reached out and placed my fingertips lightly against his cheek. "Who are you, really?" I asked. "Who are you, you who come so willingly to me when I'm in trouble?"

He touched my fingers for a moment, as though thinking about something important, then he drew back his hand. "I've told you before, haven't I?" he asked as I lowered my fingers. "I've told you, Midoriko, I'm your friend. You can trust me when you can trust no one else."

I thanked him again and stood up to leave, turning to the well. "Oh, Takeshi," I said, suddenly remembering something. I spun around to face him, but he was gone.

CoCoCoCoCoCo

-o-o-Sesshoumaru-o-o-

I returned to the camp to find Rin and Jaken awake. Rin greeted me, smiling as always, while Jaken was reverent. I glanced behind and realized that Clara had not followed me. Again. I inwardly sighed. Most likely, she had returned to her own time for she could not have gone to Kagome, seeing as how upset my half-breed brother was with her. I would have to go and get her, whether she liked it or not.

"Jaken, take Rin and go to my hahaue's," I instructed him as I turned to leave.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! Where are you going?" he dared to ask.

I did not answer him as I left to go and get the girl.

What a bother.

- - - - - - - - - -

The last time I had come to the girl's time, I had not found it pleasing at all. Yes, I was—I admit, though grudgingly—astounded at the sheer size and structure of the buildings and I was surprised by all the strange contraptions in this Era. However, despite all its grandeur, it had all gone to waste because of the smell. The scent of pollution hung heavily in the air when I stepped out of the shrine where the well was housed. The first thing that I noticed was that Clara's scent was still strong. I was right. She was here and not long ago.

I followed her scent out of the Shrine. Once I had reached the road where those strange, noisy machines passed by, I broke into a run. I hated it when the humans in the Era gawked as though I, Sesshoumaru, was nothing more than a mere animal imprisoned for their entertainment. It took me a while to find where the girl was. I looked up at the house where her scent led to. I had been here before, but that was during the night. It looked quite different during the daytime. The house—if you could call it that, it looked more like a fortress with those walls—was a white color, but I paid no heed to that. My attention was on the girl who had just entered the gate.

It was Clara.

She had stopped at the gate and knocked a few times on it. I don't think she saw me for I was hidden behind a few bushes just across the street from where she stood. She raised her fist and knocked on the gate. "It's just me," I heard her say to a stranger who inquired as to who was present. "It's just me come home, Tatsumi." Even from where I stood, I could hear defeat and sadness in her voice. I looked at her closely. She was still somewhat damp from the plunge in the waterfall and she still wore her miko garb causing passersby to stare at her.

She leaned her head against the door of the gate and let out a sigh. A second later, the door opened, causing her to stagger into the grounds. "Oh, Miss Clara, I'm so sorry!" I heard someone apologize to her—a servant, no doubt.

A servant? So who was she that she had more than one servant? I pushed the trivial questions from my mind as I followed her in. I crossed the street quickly and leapt over the wall in one elegant bound. Once more, I found myself in the garden. The scent of blossoms was overpowering, completely obliterating the scent of pollution that this modern world bred. Before I could even look around, someone—most likely a servant—entered the garden carrying a bottle with a nozzle attached to its neck. I darted behind a rose hedge, which was even taller than I. Disgusting. To think that I had actually hidden myself behind a bush for fear of being seen by humans…

I watched as the servant stopped and talked to another servant. "Clara's come back," one of them—the stocky girl with the bottle—said.

The other maid nodded. "About time too," she said. "The principal from her school's called at least three times now—"

School? Clara was actually educated?

"Don't think she'll be going back anytime, though," the bottle-maid said. "Tatsumi was so shocked to open the door and find her there—dripping wet and wearing something strange. I wonder what Miss Clara has been doing?"

"Her mother seems to be in on it," her companion replied. "Have you noticed that they're closer now than they were before? Get this. When she came into the house, the first thing she did was to run to her mother! The poor dear cried and her mother actually comforted her! Imagine that! Ma'am Alexis usually tells her to stop crying, but now she told her to let out her feelings!"

"Why was she crying?" the first maid asked as they began to move away.

"I'm not sure," the second maid said. "From what I can gather, Clara's done something dreadful."

I had enough of their chatter. When they were out of side, I immediately ran to the open doorway on the back terrace. The inside of the house was sumptuously decorated. The ceilings reached high and the floor was made of white marble. I had—admittedly—never been in such a place before. I most likely in the kitchens since the scent of food hung persistently in the air. I wrinkled my nose. I did not like human food.

There was no one here. I silently left the kitchen and followed the girl's scent down a long hallway with white tiles for the floor. I was lucky I had not run into anyone. Her scent led to room that was closed off to me with double doors with squares of glass. Through one of the glass squares, I could make out Clara sitting in front of a strange instrument. It was black with considerable proportions. It looked as though it was open and the lid was help up a metallic stick—or so it seemed to me. Her hand—slender and long-fingered, I couldn't help but notice—rested lightly on the white and black keys. I was amazed that she had not sensed me yet for I had not blocked out my demonic aura. Her back was turned to me as she sat. She had most likely bathed and changed since she wore an orange shirt—a turtle neck sweater, I would later learn—and something black which she had once called jeans.

I heard her sigh and then her hand glided lightly on top of the keys, producing such a quality of sound and music that I was stunned. I had never heard such music before. Nothing, neither the music geishas played on their shamisens, neither the twang of koto, not even my mother's singing, could reach it, I admitted grudgingly. Her fingers flew lightly over the keys, making the music more sweeter than before. I quietly pushed the door open and, certain that she couldn't hear me, stood silently behind her, watching her play this strange instrument.

I continued to listen as the music rose in pitch and sound. It was sad, the music she played, probably an imitation of her own feelings of sorrow, guilt and loss. I continued to watch her fingers from over her shoulder as they danced gracefully over the white keys. I had always had the impression that this girl was uncoordinated, but watching her play, I began to rethink that. Perhaps, hidden deep within her, she probably had a graceful side to her. She continued to play for several minutes and I found that I actually liked the music that she made.

Presently, she must have sensed me, for she turned her head slightly. Her eyes—still a dreary blue—widened in shock. Her fingers froze above the keys. "Sesshoumaru!" she exclaimed, surprised.

"Wench," I said, my tone harsh. "You have not returned to the camp. You did not say that you would be here."

She lowered her eyes. I think she was going to ask how I found my way here but thought better of it when she heard my harsh tone. "I'm sorry," she suddenly said, looking up at me. "I had to…get away from it all." Her fingers rested lightly on the keys. She half-turned to face me. Her eyes held such a degree of sadness in them, I couldn't help but make my tone emotionless and not harsh.

I had had enough of this girl and her whining. I wanted her at Mt. Tenku so I could resume my search for Naraku. She had to snap out of her guilt and, if no one else would do it, I would make her. Before I could open my mouth again, her finger tapped one of those white keys and produced a single sound. I glared at the instrument.

She saw me glaring. "A grand piano," she explained. "Father gave it to me for my fourteenth…" Her voice trailed off and a faraway look came into her eyes. And another look of sadness.

I had had enough of her moping. Her hand flew lightly across the keys, producing more music, but she stopped and sighed again. This time, I noticed something about her music. "Play," I ordered. She looked up at me as though she had not heard what I said. "Play."

She gave me a curious look but obeyed, nonetheless. She played once more and I noticed that no matter how beautiful, how ethereal her music was, it was weighed down with loss and grief. "Stop." I knew nothing about this 'piano' but I certainly had a good ear. "Do you not hear the way you play?"

If her look had been curious before, it was now puzzled. "What of it?" she asked, her tone slightly defensive, as though she expected me to insult her playing.

"Your music is affected by your guilt," I said. "Like it affects everything else. You let your guilt get to you. It taints everything about you. Your music, your life, yourself…" I let my voice waver. What was I saying? This girl was making me say things that were inappropriate.

Clara's eyes narrowed speculatively at me. "What are you saying?" she asked.

"Kikyou would not want you to grieve in this way," I said. Never mind that I was about to say things that were inappropriate for me, this girl was going to snap out of it whether she wanted to or not. "She would wish for you to be stronger. To fight your grief and your guilt. She would not want you to moan and cry like a child—she would want you to face it."

She looked up at me, astounded. I think she was shocked that I had even said those words. I noticed her hand rested lightly once more on the keys. "Do…do you really think so?" she asked. She sounded hopeful.

I gave her a curt nod. "You are weak if you let this go on." What was I saying? She was weak.

"I see," she said, nodding.

It was silent for several moments. She had no intention of speaking, so lost was she in her thoughts, so I spoke instead. "Come, then. We must leave now."

She looked up at me.

Her eyes were no longer a pale, dreary blue, they were almost sapphire again.

CoCoCoCoCoCo

-o-o-Clarao-o-o-

"Stop," Sesshoumaru suddenly said. I automatically stopped, my fingers hovering above the keys. "Do you not hear the way you play?" he asked.

First, he suddenly shows up, nearly scaring me to death, second, he orders me to play, third, he orders me to stop and now was he going to criticize the way I played? "What of it?" I asked, feeling insecure despite the void within me.

"Your music is affected by your guilt," he said. "Like it affects everything else. You let your guilt get to you. It taints everything about you. Your music, your life, yourself…"

I was stunned. Was he well? I had never heard him say such things before. I looked up at him, my eyes wide with wonder. "What are you saying?" I asked, still thinking if the demon standing behind me was indeed the same cold-hearted demon who had said that I was a waste of his time.

"Kikyou would not want you to grieve in this way," he went on. "She would wish for you to be stronger. To fight your grief and your guilt. She would not want you to moan and cry like a child—she would want you to face it."

My eyes widened slightly. Was this man really Sesshoumaru? He was acting differently. More compassionate. Was he ill? Still, I couldn't help but notice that I preferred him this way. Wait a minute…preferred? I pulled myself out of that train of thought.

"Do…do you really think so?" I asked, sounding hopeful. If he could just tell me that it was not my fault that Kikyou was dead, I would believe him. Sesshoumaru was the most frank person I knew.

"You are weak if you let this go on." His golden eyes were at their coldest, as though he resented telling me this. I wondered what could have caused him to come here, to come and tell me this. It was as though he were trying to snap me out of it, trying to help me. Help me. How strange.

"I see." It was the only thing I could say, for my head was filled with all that he had said. He was implying that it was not my fault—that I had nothing to do with it. I had to be sure first.

"Come, then. We must leave now."

I looked up at him. "Sesshoumaru?" I said. "Do…do you think that it's my fault that Kikyou is dead?"

He stared at me for a second. "No." His voice was as cold as always, but I heard the ring of truth behind his words. As I realized that he was telling the truth, the void inside of me seemed to close—just a bit. But it was enough to ease my pain.

I smiled slightly. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru," I said.

CoCoCoCoCoCo

-o-o-Sesshoumaru-o-o-

She had thanked me?

Queer. There was something in her tone when she had said those words, words I had not expected from her or her kind before. It was as though she truly was thankful and at the same time, happy. Humans were strange, fickle creatures.

"Hn." I could think of no other adequate response. I studied her closely. Her eyes were no longer a dreary blue, they were slowly turning sapphire again. The slight smile on her face made me wonder if she was over the pain. No matter, pain or no pain, guilt or no guilt, she was coming back with me. Now.

"Come," I said again.

She seemed hesitant. "I was wondering…if you'd let me stay here for one more night," she said, looking up at me.

One more night? This girl was indeed a waste of time. "No," I said. "I have wasted enough time as it is."

She lowered her eyes infinitesimally. She seemed to be arguing with her self for a moment, then she looked up at me, her eyes filled with pleading. "Please?" she asked. "I need to stay here…just one night. Please?"

This girl was such a nuisance. Who did she think she was that she could request to waste my time? I had a right mind to break my word to Kikyou and leave the girl with my pathetic excuse of a half-breed brother, when I suddenly realized that I had never broken my word before. I would consent—but I wanted something in exchange.

"Play," I ordered. I admit—her music was enchanting. I had always thought that humans were horrid musicians—but not this girl.

She tilted her head slightly at me, looking puzzled. "Why?" she asked.

"Just play." She turned to her piano and fingers flew across the keys, producing music that I had never heard before. The melody she played was still somewhat suppressed—as though she was still confused about being guilty. Despite the fact that her music was tainted with her guilt, it still came out beautiful.

After a few minutes or so, she stopped playing then turned slightly to face me. "What was that for?" she asked, curious.

"Never mind," I said, not wanting her to find out that I grudgingly admired her music. "You may stay. Just for one night, Clara." I turned to leave but, glancing at her face, I could see that she was smiling a smile that was free of any kind of guilt. "Why are you smiling?"

"That was the first time I've heard you say my name without any hate in your voice," she said simply as her smile slowly faded. "I think that's an improvement."

I raised an eyebrow at her. I knew if I asked her, I would only end up wasting my time. "Don't be foolish," I said as I turned to leave. I heard a slight shifting sound as she turned back to her piano to play. I idled by the door for a few moments, my hand resting lightly against it. Her music was different now. It was free of any guilt or sorrow—it was filled with relief.

I pushed the door open and then left.

CoCoCoCoCoCo

A1969: whew! That was exhausting!
Miroku: aw! She worked hard on it!
Sango: doesn't she always?
Miroku: be sure to review to show that you appreciate the authoress's good, hard work!
A1969: why don't you say it like this—review please!