A1969: yes! I like it when I can update—makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...
Inuyasha: why the hell were you with Houjo?!
Kagome: I was just photocopying his notes...
Inuyasha: bah!
A1969: ah, the classic lover's spat. Anyway, sorry for the late update! And thanks to those who read and reviewed the previous chapter!
Kagome: there is nothing going on between me and Houjo!
Inuyasha: I swear, I'm going to have Sesshoumaru transform and eat him alive!
A1969: wow...he must be very, very jealous.
Kagome: tell me about it.
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
Chapter Twenty-nine
-Reconciling Requiem-
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
.:Clara:.
What...did...he say?
My gaze was fixed on Sesshoumaru, a blush spreading through my cheeks. Did he say what I thought I heard him say? Being the human that I was, I couldn't stop the rush of euphoria that took hold of me.
"With you?" Takeshi asked, racing both his eyebrows.
"Naturally," Sesshoumaru replied, striding into the cave. I blushed. "I have given my word to protect her, and I intend to keep my word. However, once I have delivered her to Mt. Tenku...you may have her."
I stared at him, shocked and, admittedly...hurt. Was he saying that, in the end, I was just nothing? Absolutely nothing? Looking at his cold eyes, I could only come to one conclusion—he was, he really was. I tried to ignore it—the stabbing pain that suddenly seemed to fill my chest. It was hard, but it had to be ignored because now was not the time to give in to the pain...
"Unfortunately, Lord Sesshoumaru," Takeshi said, sighing. "I am not a patient man." As fast as the eye could blink, Takeshi sped towards Sesshoumaru, sword aimed at his heart. Sesshoumaru dodged by jumping over Takeshi, at the same instant, he had Bakusaiga out and aimed at him. There was a blast of blue light as Sesshoumaru's Dragon Strike rushed towards Takeshi.
Takeshi grinned and pointed his blade at the oncoming strike. The sword glowed with black light, and Sesshoumaru's Dragon Strike whirled around the blade. There was a loud roar, and rush of heat as Takeshi's sword unbelievably absorbed the Dragon Strike.
Sesshoumaru landed on his feet, his eyes fixed coldly on Takeshi. It must have been demeaning for him, to have his attack absorbed as though it was nothing.
"Is that all, Lord Sesshoumaru?" Takeshi taunted.
Sesshoumaru growled and rushed towards Takeshi. There was a clang of steel on steel as their swords clashed, sending sparks into the air.
"You want the truth, Lord Sesshoumaru?" Takeshi said, sneering, as their swords locked. "You're weak!" As though to emphasize his point, the blade he held glowed with blue light—the light of Sesshoumaru's Dragon Strike.
Sesshoumaru's glare turned deadly as he pulled his sword away. Just in time, too, as Takeshi unleashed the Dragon Strike at him. Sesshoumaru leapt in the air to avoid his own strike and the streak of blue darted beneath him—and then veered upward, towards him!
Sesshoumaru veered in mid air to avoid the Dragon Strike. He fell gracefully back to the ground, but even as he did so, the Dragon Strike followed him...
Takeshi laughed. "How does it feel to be betrayed by your own attack?" he taunted.
To his surprise, Sesshoumaru smirked, and at the same time, the Dragon Strike struck him from above. "Sesshoumaru!" I shrieked, unable to stop myself despite his words earlier. I watched, horror struck, as his Dragon Strike consumed him. "No!"
Takeshi turned to me, his face illuminated by the light of the Dragon Strike. "It will be alright, dearest," he reassured me. "I will watch over you now...hm?" He turned back to the Dragon Strike. "Impossible."
Amidst the blue light of the Dragon Strike, a red point of light slowly grew brighter, and as it grew brighter, an all too familiar demonic aura increased. The red light swelled and completely overwhelmed the blue, to reveal him standing there, his eyes tinted red, his fangs bared.
"Sesshoumaru!" I said, instantly feeling relieved. His red tinged gaze met mine. I knew I should have been afraid of such a gaze—knew I should have been afraid of him, because, in mid transformation, he looked more demonic than he could ever look.
But no—I wasn't afraid. I would never be. In fact...how could I be?
Takeshi chuckled. "Amusing that you could escape that," he said, grinning at Sesshoumaru, who turned his red gaze back to him. "What's more amusing is the fact that you're weakened, aren't you, Lord Sesshoumaru?"
Sesshoumaru's response was to growl. His other response was to charge at Takeshi, Bakusaiga aimed at the latter's heart.
Anyone faced with a charging, growling, red-eyed Sesshoumaru would have died out of sheer fright on the spot. But Takeshi only stood his ground, another annoying smile on his face. He threw his arms wide and a barrier sprang up between him and Sesshoumaru, whose sword struck the barrier. Sesshoumaru leapt back from the barrier, still red-eyed, glaring at Takeshi.
"Look at you," Takeshi said disdainfully. "Reduced to what you are—a killing monster."
"Shut up!" I shouted. Both of them turned their gaze to me. For a fraction of a second, I faltered, but then I plowed on. "He isn't a monster Takeshi, and you know it!"
"How you managed to disillusion this particular priestess, I will never know," Takeshi said, sighing, as he turned to look back at Sesshoumaru.
"Silence!" Sesshoumaru hissed. He ran towards Takeshi, who leapt into the air and landed neatly in front of me.
"You should leave, Midoriko," he warned as Sesshoumaru veered and aimed for him again. His Bakusaiga, this time, turned black.
"Meidou Zangetsuha!" he roared. A black, circular meidou materialized between him and Takeshi. It sped away from Sesshoumaru, and towards Takeshi, who only let out an annoyed sigh and leapt into the air to avoid it, realizing, a second later, that I was behind him.
"No!" Takeshi screeched, as Sesshoumaru's meidou headed towards me.
I was stunned, unable to move. Besides—with the speed of the meidou headed towards me, there was no way I could dodge it. In that instant, two things popped into my head—one, Takeshi was an idiot, and two...I was going to die. Worse than that, I was going to hell!
I shielded my face with my arms and closed my eyes, not wanting to see the black void that was getting closer. I could hear its roar as it came towards me. I could hear the sound of rock tearing away from rock as it drew stalactites and a good portion of the ground in. I could feel it coming closer, and closer...
"No!" This voice—it was not Takeshi's, it was velvet. A fraction of a second later, I felt something hard ram into me, forcing me on the ground. My eyes were still closed as I heard the deafening roar of the meidou as it passed over head and rammed into the cave wall, vanishing and probably taking a good chunk of the cave wall with it.
I slowly opened my eyes, still aware of something heavy on...no, not something—someone.
Sesshoumaru.
I blushed. He was supporting himself on his arms, looking down at me with his still-red eyes. For a brief instant, our eyes locked, and I could feel my cheeks burning, could feel my heart thundering in my chest. Surely, he could hear it? A second later, he pulled away from me and stood up, turning back to Takeshi who was standing at the opposite side of the cave, relief his primary expression.
Heart still thumping, I got to my feet and glanced at Sesshoumaru's back. "Thank you," I said.
He didn't answer, his eyes locked on Takeshi. "Thank you, indeed," Takeshi said, glaring at Sesshoumaru. There was something in his tone that said his thanks was not the least bit sincere. "However, Lord Sesshoumaru, you are starting to be a problem." He pointed a finger at Sesshoumaru.
I gasped as chains that glowed with black light materialized around Sesshoumaru. A fraction of a second later, they wrapped themselves around him. He couldn't move, and Bakusaiga fell with a metallic clatter to the ground.
I could sense Sesshoumaru's demonic aura rising as he struggled to break the chains that bound him. I knew then that this image of him would be burned forever in the worst memories I had in my life. To see him, of all people, bound like this—it was disorienting.
"Let go of him!" I shrieked.
Sesshoumaru glanced at me from over his shoulder. "I don't need your help!" he growled, his cold mask slowly slipping.
"See, Midoriko?" Takeshi said. "He does not need your aid." He held out his hand and black light glowed before him. It twisted and took the shape of a bow that hovered in front of him in mid air. An arrow was notched to it. I knew what he intended to do.
I was ready to run to him, but he was quicker than me—he took the bow and arrow, aimed it at Sesshoumaru's heart...I wouldn't be able to reach Takeshi. He unleashed the arrow, and it sped towards Sesshoumaru, who only stared at it without so much as flinching.
"No!" I threw myself between Sesshoumaru and the arrow, gasping as I felt the sharp tip pierce my chest...and then—pain. Unbelievable...unbearable pain.
-.-Sesshoumaru-.-
There was never an instance when I, of all people, felt shocked.
I was not shocked when I first discovered father had a mistress; I was not shocked to learn of his death, and of the half-breed brother he had sired. When I discovered the truth about Tenseiga—I was not shocked, merely enraged and betrayed. When I had met Midoriko's reincarnation for the first time—there was nothing shocking about her.
But now—the emotion that gripped me when I saw what she had done.
Shock.
I could not see her face—her back was to me—so I did not see the pain that she must have felt as, a second later, the arrowhead burst through her back, blood dripping from the tip. Idiot girl! Did she think I was incapable of freeing myself?
"No!" Takeshi's scream was one laced with rage and fury.
As Clara's limp form fell to the ground, something within me snapped. The red in my vision became even more prominent as I recognized the new emotion taking hold of me—anger. I let my youki rise and as it rose, the chains that held me broke away, dissolving as they fell to the ground.
I surprised myself when, instead of going directly for Takeshi, I knelt beside the priestess who had unnecessarily put herself between me and the arrow. She was lying on the ground. The arrow that pierced her chest caused blood to stain the white haori she wore. Even as I looked on, the arrow that pierced her dissolved in black light. Blood blossomed from the wound on her chest, dripping to the ground, drenching her in a pool of her own blood.
I placed two fingers to her neck—there was a pulse, albeit weak. It seemed that my hand moved of its own volition from her neck, to her face, cupping her cheek.
"Fool," I said.
Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked up at me. "Am I?" she asked hoarsely. Her voice was low, barely a whisper, and strained with pain. Her face was pale from the lack of blood. "At...least you're alright." And then, she slowly placed a blood stained hand on my own that cupped her cheek.
She worried about me? She had no right. That she thought I would be in danger of Takeshi's arrow was insulting. "What were you thinking?" I asked coldly. Humans were indeed fools, the whole lot of them.
"I couldn't...stand...to see you...in...danger," she said, her voice growing more inaudible with each word she spoke.
"Be quiet."
She shook her head and smiled feebly at me. "I want to...tell...you that I...I...lo..." I suddenly felt her hand fall away from mine, and her eyes stared, unseeing, at the dark ceiling of the cave.
She was dead.
I could feel my eyes widening infinitesimally as rage gripped me again. My mind was filled with nothing but anger, an anger I did not allow to appear on my face. I could feel it within me, boiling, gripping and consuming. I slowly stood up, not even bothering to close her eyes. I placed a hand on the hilt of Tenseiga.
"It...won't work," a defeated voice behind me said. Takeshi. He looked as though he had died himself. His face was ashen and pale, his voice trembling.
My hand froze on the hilt as Takeshi went on, his voice even more lifeless than Clara. "Midoriko...no, Clara...her soul is incomplete, half still trapped within the Sacred Jewel. Tenseiga won't save her." Even as he explained, I already became aware that the sword was incapable of saving her.
I turned to Takeshi, the anger gripping me once again. I could feel red clouding my vision, I could feel my aura rising...
I rushed towards Takeshi, claws aimed at him. He quickly put up a barrier. I rammed against his barrier, which easily broke away, shattering like glass. Takeshi let out a cry of pain as my claws pierced his chest, pumping poison into his system. I could feel the heat of his blood against the flesh of my hand. The pathetic human slumped against me, cringing in pain.
"No!" he shouted.
Was he still capable of shouting? I increased the flow of the poison, taking great pleasure in hearing his anguished screams. "I can...save her!" he gasped, twitching against me.
"She's dead," I hissed.
"I can...my...immortality...to her!"
I automatically retracted my claws, and blood gushed from the wound on Takeshi's chest. He gasped for breath as he fell at my feet, a hand covering the deep wound in his chest. For a moment, he remained in that position, and then he slowly dropped his hand.
The wound was gone.
He did not rise. He stared at the ground, his fists clenched. A moment later, he stood. He walked past me, towards the body of the girl he had unwittingly killed. Muffling a scream, the bastard fell to his knees at her side. His eyes had the look of one who was half-crazed.
"My Midoriko," he murmured, taking her hand.
"No," he amended. "Not my Midoriko...you were never my Midoriko. But I pretended you were, and look what I've done! Once again, because of me, you are dead..." He was silent for a minute, his eyes glassy, as though his thoughts roamed far. "My Midoriko...no. Not my Midoriko. You are far too different to be Midoriko—she would not hesitate to kill"—he suddenly smiled, amused at a memory—"you...you cringe at the thought of shedding blood. Midoriko's name resounded with strength, yours resounds with music...Midoriko's heart belonged to me, and yours..." His voice trailed off. Admittedly, I wondered who held hers. But I pushed the thought aside.
"Yes," Takeshi said, closing his eyes. "So different from her. She was Iida Midoriko, and you are Clara Rose. I should have seen from the start that you were not my Midoriko, but his Clara." He was looking at me as he said this.
Hn. My Clara?
"My error, my consequence." He lightly brushed a strand of hair away from her face and closed her eyes. His lips curled into a grimace, as though closing her eyes caused him pain. "But...even though you aren't my Midoriko, I've grown to love you...It is indeed a pity your heart belongs to someone else."
Who? I immediately pushed the thought aside. It was none of my concern.
"I told you, Clara, that I intend to fix my errors tonight." Takeshi leaned over her, placing both his hands on her face. His tone was suddenly fierce. "And fix them I shall. I took away your life—I'm giving it back." He looked up from her, at me. "Lord Sesshoumaru—this girl is special. Take care of her."
My glare deepened.
Takeshi looked back at Clara, and then he grasped both of her lifeless hands in his. He closed his eyes, and at the same time, his entire being glowed with a muted green light. He opened his eyes, they, too, were glowing with the same green muted light. Fixing his gaze on the dead girl, he slowly leaned in towards her and brushed his lips lightly to hers.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, before falling beside her, his hand still holding hers.
.:Clara:.
Where was I?
My eyes were closed, and it was the darkness of my lids that kept me from seeing where I was. Where was I? The last thing I remember...Sesshoumaru, Takeshi...the arrow...the pain.
My eyes immediately flew open.
I was lying on the ground, against soft velvet grass. The moment I opened my eyes, I saw the clear blue of the sky above me. Wisps of white cloud splashed across the vast blue expanse of the sky. Weird...wasn't I...in the cave?
Slowly, I sat up and glanced around me, my mouth hanging open at the sight that greeted me. I was lying on the bank of a clear, pristine lake. Small stepping stones led from the bank of the lake, to the center, towards a beautiful pavilion. Beautiful Irises dotted the edge of the lake, their dark blue mixed with the blood red of Lycoris flowers. The lake was surrounded by a vast array of Cherry Blossoms. The wind blew softly through the trees, sending a mild storm of pink all around.
Where was I? The lake was picturesque, beautiful...and ethereal.
My knees shook as I stood up, glancing around me. There was no one around except for me. "Hello?" I called out.
No one.
Wait...what happened anyway? I couldn't remember anything.
I walked around, exploring the vast and beautiful banks of the lake. Irises grew along the banks, their color so beautiful that I didn't want to look away from them. I knelt beside the bank and slowly plucked an Iris, bringing it closer to my nose to inhale the scent.
Mesmerizing.
This whole place was absolutely mesmerizing. I slowly stood up, Iris in hand. Something was nagging at me. I knew there was something I was supposed to be doing, but I just couldn't remember what...all I could think about was the captivating beauty of the place.
I turned around. There were rows trees behind me, their branches almost touching the ground. I slowly approached them. They were dotted with fruits. Their fruits were pear-shaped, and golden, exuding a somewhat captivating aroma that was hard to place. They weren't pears. I couldn't tell what they were. But they looked scrumptious.
I approached a low-hanging branch, and reached out to grab one of its many fruits.
"What are you doing?"
My eyes widened in shock, and my hand hovered above me, near the fruit. That voice! I had not heard it in quite a while...in fact...I thought that I would never hear it again.
"Clara?" My heart thudded painfully in my chest, and a barrage of emotions bombarded me as I slowly turned around.
"Kikyou...?" I whispered, my eyes widening. She stood behind me. She looked no different than she always did. Her hair was tied back, as always. She held a bow in her hand, and a quiver of arrows was slung across her back. Her brown eyes bore into my blue ones, their look muted.
"Kikyou...?" I said again, disbelieving. Wasn't she...? "You're...alive? I...thought you...you were..." How can I describe what I felt? Flabbergasted, dumbfounded, speechless, disbelieving, shocked...
"Dead?" Kikyou asked, raising an eyebrow at me. She looked amused, and...sad?
I nodded, still somewhat tongue-tied. "Yeah," I said. "Naraku's miasma..."
"Clara," Kikyou said, her tone both serious and wistful. "I am dead."
I shook my head. Was I dreaming? "I'm dreaming, then," I muttered. "it's like one of those movies where you dream about someone who died, and stuff."
She took several steps towards me, until she was a mere foot away from me. "Clara...you're not dreaming."
I stared at her.
"What...are you...saying?" I asked. Deep down, I had this feeling...but I didn't want to acknowledge it. "Are you saying that you're...that you've been...resurrected?"
She shook her head slightly. For the first time since I'd known her, she looked...hesitant. "Clara," she said gently. "You're..."
I couldn't let her finish. "I'm not dead!" I said, taking a step away from her, as though she were a threat. "I can't be dead!"
"Clara," she said, forceful. "Do you not know this place? This is the bridge to the next life...the place where one goes before moving on. And to come here, you must be...." She looked grim, while I felt my insides turn to ice.
No! How could I...be...?
"What happened?" Kikyou asked.
And then, it all came crashing back to me. Takeshi, the arrow...Sesshoumaru. "I...jumped between Sesshoumaru and an arrow." I sounded sheepish...because I suddenly realized how stupid I was. Even if that arrow managed to strike Sesshoumaru, would it even kill him, daiyoukai that he was? But still...I didn't regret it.
Kikyou only sighed. "Lord Sesshoumaru," she said. "The reason I asked him, of all people, to take you to Mt. Tenku is because he seemed the most less likely person to dawdle and, admittedly, to fall for. How naive of me. No, how stupid of me!"
"You're not stupid," I pointed out. And besides—I was thankful that she chose Sesshoumaru.
She suddenly glanced behind her, a small smile curving her lips. "It seems that someone wants you back," she suddenly said, much to my confusion.
"Huh?" I said. "What do you...?" But before I could finish my question, I had the strangest sensation. It was as though air was slowly pulling me backward, away from Kikyou. Wind rustled past me, dragging me with it, whipping my hair. It was strange how none of the petals from the cherry trees stirred. It was then that I realized this wind didn't want anything but me.
"Kikyou!" I called out, trying to reach out to her, but the wind dragged me backward, and darkness slowly closed around me.
Kikyou smiled. "Take care, Clara."
The darkness swallowed me whole, and the wind was no more.
My eyes flew open.
The first thing I noticed was that someone's hand held mine. The first thing I saw was a pair of golden eyes, looking down at me, golden eyes that I would never mistake for anyone else's.
"Se...Sesshoumaru?" I asked. I was confused. Where was I? What happened? I could've sworn that I had the funniest dream.
For a fraction of a second, I saw relief in his eyes, relief that, a second later, was veiled by his usual cold look. "You're fine," he stated.
I blinked. "Any reason why I shouldn't be?" I asked.
And then I felt it. Lying down, I could feel something on me, something warm, wet and...sticky. Just as I realized this, a rusty copper smell suddenly engulfed me. What...? I raised a hand in front of me. Horror suddenly washed through me. The sleeve of my hand...it was...covered in...blood?
I felt my eyes widening in shock as I slowly sat up. I was covered in blood. Who's blood was this? I was bewildered. Why was I covered in blood?
I looked up at Sesshoumaru, who was regarding me with a cold, analytical look, as though trying to gauge my reaction. "What...? Who...?" I mumbled, still too shocked to form a coherent sentence.
Sesshoumaru's gaze became sharp, as though trying to determine my reaction. "Yours," he said, without preamble.
My eyes widened. "M...mine?" I stuttered. "What...how did...?" I suddenly became aware that something was lying beside me. I slowly turned my head and looked down. A clawed hand suddenly caught my chin, and gently tilted my face so I found myself looking into Sesshoumaru's amber eyes. I blushed.
His golden eyes locked with mine. "Don't," he warned.
If this was an entirely different situation, I wouldn't have dared to pull away from him. I shook my head to one side, forcing him to let go of my chin. As I did so, my gaze fell on a limp figure, lying beside me...
My eyes widened in horror.
"T-takeshi...?" I breathed, appalled.
Takeshi was lying beside me. His eyes were closed, and his expression appeared peaceful. Too peaceful...
"He...he's not..." I stuttered. My fingers, shaky with shock, fumbled around his neck, trying to feel for a pulse...
None.
No way.
I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Takeshi was...dead? "No way," I said, my voice shaking. For a moment, just a moment, I forgot that Sesshoumaru was right behind me, his golden eyes piercing into my back. All I could think about was Takeshi, who now lay on the ground, unfeeling.
"What...what happened?" I finally asked, turning slowly to Sesshoumaru, who stood up and looked down at me with an aloof look in his eyes.
"He died," he said bluntly.
I stared at him, numb. How could he say something like that so blatantly?! I wanted to be mad at him, really, I did. But with the shock and horror of Takeshi's death, combined with the fact that I was so tired, and the fact that it was hard to be mad at a demon lord, I couldn't be mad at him.
I looked up at Sesshoumaru, still numb. "Why...how...did...he...?" I stuttered.
"He died to save you." He turned on his heel, ready to leave.
"Sesshoumaru, wait!" I called as I got to my feet. I realized I was shaking, unshed tears and sobs threatening to take over.
He stopped in his tracks. He did not look back at me. "What do you mean?" I asked, fists clenched.
"He died to save you," he repeated. He glanced at me from over his shoulder.
"I don't...understand," I mumbled.
This time, he turned around to face me. "You died," he said slowly, as though I were a child. At the moment, I felt like one. Felt the emotions a vulnerable child would feel—fear, ignorance, hopelessness...
"A...and?" I asked.
"He killed you, and gave you his immortality."
As he said the words, something ached in my chest. Something so painful, something unendurable. Guilt, pain, loss. Because of me...Takeshi died because of me. Like with Kikyou. And like with Kikyou, the familiar void reopened in my chest, entirely consuming me. I felt as if I were falling into a pit, falling into darkness. I couldn't breathe, couldn't move.
When would it stop?! When would all these deaths stop?! Would they stop if I died?! I couldn't think, couldn't breathe...the only think I could think about was the darkness that swallowed me whole.
Darkness.
There was nothing but darkness around me. That was when I knew I wasn't dead—when you die, you feel nothing, sense nothing, not even the dark pit of lifelessness. I was alive. Too bad. I didn't feel like waking up, especially since the image of Takeshi's...body was still imprinted vividly in my mind.
What was I? Why were so many people dying around me? Why couldn't it be me who died? Why did it have to be others? I felt so horrible. A part of me tried to reason out, to say that all those deaths weren't exactly my fault. But there was a part of me—a somewhat irrational part—that said that even though I wasn't the exact cause of death, the fact that I was present and was not able to do anything about it...
I didn't want to think any further.
But I did think.
Takeshi...
Before Takeshi had become such a pain, he was a good friend. He had always been there for me, guiding and comforting me when others could not. He had even taught me some things. Heck, if it weren't for Takeshi, I wouldn't have met Inuyasha and the others...wouldn't have met...Sesshoumaru.
How did Takeshi die? Had he been in pain? I wanted to know. No, I needed to know. Whether I liked it or not, Takeshi was—in a way—a part of me, not only because he had been a friend, but because of his profound connection to Midoriko.
But I was afraid of waking up. I was afraid of what I would find. The last thing I remembered before unceremoniously blacking out was Sesshoumaru's blunt manner with regards to Takeshi's death.
I suddenly felt a flutter of silk against my cheek. And against my will, my eyes slowly opened.
A pair of piercing golden eyes stared down at me. I knew enough about those eyes to know just exactly to whom they belonged. Sesshoumaru's eyes were narrowed at me. There was something about the way they were narrowed that made me think that I was a criminal. His gaze was sharp, as though he were trying to read my mind.
But my mind was blank—blank of anything that was not Takeshi-related. But then I suddenly realized that he was kneeling beside me, and cupping my cheek with one of his clawed hands.
I blushed.
He narrowed his eyes and slowly withdrew his hand. "You're awake."
I blinked. My gaze shifted from his eyes to over his shoulders. I could see the starry night sky. "Are we...outside the cave?" I asked dully.
He raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. I sighed and slowly sat up.
Takeshi...
"What happened?" I asked Sesshoumaru. "Where's...?"
"His body is in the cave," Sesshoumaru replied impassively.
His body...
It suddenly came in a rush. The first thing I felt was a painful tightening in my chest, and then my shoulders were heaving, and before I knew it, I was crying. I lowered my head as tears welled up in my eyes, and spilled silently onto my lap.
"Why did he have to die?" I wondered. My voice sounded strangled. Normally, I wouldn't dream of behaving like this in front of Sessshoumaru, but I could care less at the moment.
"He gave you his immortality to save you from death."
"I don't want to be immortal!" I shouted as I looked up at him, tears spilling from eyes. "I'd rather I died and he lived! I don't want his stinking immortality! I want him to live!" I was frustrated, frustrated because of Takeshi and frustrated because I suddenly realized that I just took my frustration at Sesshoumaru.
I was surprised when he didn't rebuke me—or threaten me for that matter. "He's dead," he said. "Shouting won't bring him back."
"I don't want him dead!"
"There is nothing you can do about it."
Why was he so insensitive?! I realized that just shouting at him wouldn't do anything. In fact, anything I did wouldn't do anything to bring Takeshi back...
The frustration only grew, clawing at me together with the guilt and the pain of bereavement. I shifted my tear-blurred gaze to the starry night sky. I could feel tears roll silently down my cheek. "Why do these things keep happening?" I muttered, as I looked back down at my lap.
Sesshoumaru didn't answer. I suddenly wanted him to say something, anything. Was he silently seething about my shouting at him? The frustration mounted, and I clenched my fists.
"Did you love him?"
Sesshoumaru's question was unexpected and shocked me out of my stupor. My eyes widened, and I stared at him, not bothering to hide the surprise on my face. His eyes were the same as always—cold and stoic. What was I expecting? Warmth and tenderness? Get real, Clara.
"N-not in that way," I said, unwillingly sobbing.
"Then why do you weep?"
How to make him understand? "I just feel like it!" I snapped. I could feel the guilt slowly taking over. I realized that I was acting like a monster, and my eyes widened. Angrily, I brought my knees to my chin, wrapped my arms around them, and leaned my head against my arms. I didn't want to look at Sesshoumaru at the moment. In fact, I didn't want to look at anything. I wanted to die.
I didn't care that Sesshoumaru was watching me. I let the sobs rack me and the tears spill freely from my eyes. I knew that I was acting like a child, but I didn't care. Takeshi was dead, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Time slowly passed by as I stayed like that. But even so, Sesshoumaru stayed with me. And for once, he didn't complain that I was wasting his time, for which I was grateful. As I cried, he said nothing—he was just there. But his very presence was comfort enough.
It seemed like hours passed by when I finally felt the tears stop. I was silent for a moment, my head against my arms. I slowly raised my head. Sesshoumaru was sitting beside me, his golden eyes raised towards the sky, which I realized was slowly lightening. Dawn was breaking in. Huh...had I been crying for hours?
I slowly turned my gaze to Sesshoumaru who, at the same time, shifted his eyes to me. I suddenly became very conscious of the fact that my eyes were quite puffy, but I was too exhausted to care.
Sesshoumaru held my gaze before he gracefully stood up. He looked down at me for a moment and then, before I knew it, he scooped me into his arms.
"Put me down," I protested feebly. I was exhausted, and not in the mood to argue.
He ignored me as he walked towards the forest, away from the cave. "Sleep," he commanded.
I didn't need to be told twice. I sighed and leaned my head against his armoured chest, unconsciously snuggling against his hard breastplate. "Sesshoumaru?" I mumbled as I slowly closed my eyes.
"Hn?"
"Thanks."
-.-Sesshoumaru-.-
Queer.
It was not Clara who was queer, it was not even her prolonged crying that I thought out of place. Rather, it was my own actions that somewhat mystified me. It was queer that I had stayed with her throughout the whole night as sobs racked her. It was queer that I did not even think of leaving her, even though I was aware that she was wasting my time. It was queer that I had asked such an excessive and inconsequential question. It was queer that I was letting her sleep in my arms, instead of just letting her walk.
Heh.
Since when did I grow soft?
A1969: yes! I am done!
Inuyasha: about time you updated.
A1969: -sigh- do you have to make me feel guilty? Yeah, I'm really sorry for the long wait. Life's hectic at the moment.
Inuyasha: whatever.
A1969: hm...I see you're over your jealous fit.
Kagome: what a miracle.
Inuyasha: shut up! I'm trying to think of a way to get rid of Houjo.
Kagome: O.o don't you dare, Inuyasha.
Inuyasha: why are you defending him?!
A1969: oh boy. Anyway, thanks to those who read and reviewed the previous chapter! Also, thanks to those who put this story on their alerts and favorites! Review please! Pretty please?