Chapter 14: Work-life-balance

When Hermione awoke the next morning, she had no idea where she was at first. The bed she had slept in was a foreign one, the sheets and covers dark and silky with a male touch to them. This wasn't The Burrow or the honeymoon suite where…

Suddenly everything fell back into place, the memory of her and Percy having sex in the bathtub flooding her brain. She couldn't believe they'd ended up going at it right there, but even less could she comprehend the fact that she'd enjoyed it, very much so. It wasn't only the fact that she'd actually climaxed, the way to her orgasm had been so full of passion and anticipation that she hadn't even realised what was happening until it was almost over. That was definitely a first for her. She could only explain this by her sudden fascination with Percy's body or the fact that he was an exceptionally good kisser. But that didn't mean it would always be like this between them, or would it? Yesterday had felt special, she thought, her thoughts lingering on her memories of the evening way longer than they should. But how had she ended up in bed? She remembered settling down on the sofa but nothing after that. Had Percy carried her into bed? And where was her husband anyway?

Hermione looked at the empty bed, frowning. His side of the bed was neatly made, his pyjamas folded on top of his covers. It took her a moment to remember that it was Monday and that Percy had probably gone to work already. Sighing, she climbed out of bed and walked through the flat. Indeed, Percy was gone and other than a note that he wouldn't be back before seven there was no trace of him. She was completely alone in the flat, she thought, before she remembered Crooks, who was still sleeping in his cat tree. At least he was here, keeping her company in this new place. Yes, she'd been to the flat before a few times to plan and discuss her wedding, but never without Percy. Now that he was gone she couldn't help but suddenly feel lost and alone here.

What was she to do now that her parents were back in Britain and the wedding ceremony was over? Until today her life had been dominated by her full to-do list, a list that was now completely empty. But how was she to fill her days now when there was nothing for her to do? Her parents were back at work already and so were most of her friends and yes… Percy. Her husband would only be gone about ten hours, she realised as she checked the clock in the kitchen. Ten hours… that had to be enough to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Because one thing was sure, she didn't want to spend her days sitting at home like a good housewife, waiting for her husband's return.

ssssssss

Percy hadn't even been back at work for two hours when he found his thoughts drifting back home, to his wife. Hermione had still been fast asleep when he left her in the morning, her hair spread out on the pillow while she lay on her side, hunched in a fetal position. Once more he had to resist the urge to kiss her, an urge that was even stronger than it had been the evening before. He had thought it would have lessened now that the passion between them had subsided? It hadn't. Instead, he felt like he'd developed some kind of addiction and the longer he went without kissing or touching his wife, the more he craved it.

No. This wouldn't do. Not at all. In recent years he'd always been able to control his more primal urges, since he couldn't have risked getting attached to another female while he was navigating his way around a Ministry that was led by Voldemort. There had always been the risk he'd be found out, one of the messages he kept sending anonymously to the Order intercepted. If that happened he hadn't wanted to drag anyone down with him, not his family and certainly not a romantic love interest. No. Staying by himself had been so much safer and, after the years, he'd found that he no longer minded the loneliness. Or so he had thought.

Shaking his head he quietly dressed before leaving the bedroom on silent toes. It was still too early to even consider going to work, but if he managed to pass about half an hour, the Ministry floo would be open. Back at work, he'd have a million things to distract himself from this… this insanity.

Only at work, he could not focus on a single task, his thoughts returning to Hermione over and over, asking what she might be doing, or supplying images of their last sexual encounter. It was the most maddening thing.

Three hours into his work Percy was ready to bite the table, or rush home; he didn't know which one it was. Not that either was an option.

"Hi Percy, can I come in?" He hadn't heard the knock on his door but when he looked up he suddenly remembered the meeting he'd scheduled with Harry - wand-holders or something that suddenly no longer seemed important.

"Of course. Come in, come in. I've just finished this draft on the use of emergency portkeys." It was a lie. He hadn't finished the draft. He hadn't even properly looked at it.

"Ah, yes." Harry smiled and sat down. "But that report is only due in a few weeks. It's not why I'm here. How're things going?"

"Things? What things? Are you referring to the wand-holders?"

"No, to you and Hermione, actually. I'm Hermione's friend and …"

"Of course." Percy shook his head, forcing a smile. What was he even supposed to say to Harry? Hermione surely wouldn't want him to disclose anything too personal. "There are certain things that would be… disrespectful to share but I acknowledge your concern. What is it you want to know?"

Harry took off his glasses and cleaned them with a sigh. "Are you two getting along? We all know this is an arranged marriage and Hermione was very… hesitant about this at first. During your wedding everything seemed fine but yesterday… I just don't know. After everything we've been through I can't help but be worried about her."

Percy nodded. "That's understandable, I suppose. I'd say we're getting along, as you put it, at least from my side. Hermione is the best wife I could have hoped for and she matches me in many different ways."

Harry put his glasses back, relief on his face. "And Hermione? How is she coping?"

"She is adjusting, I'd say," Percy answered, memories of last night starting to distract him. Suddenly he saw the desire in her eyes again, remembering how her voice had sounded when she lustfully moaned his name. He shook his head, clearing his voice. "It's hard to tell what she's thinking sometimes. So I just have to wait for her to voice her concerns when she is ready."

"Sounds like her. If there was trouble you'd know."

"Then no trouble I suppose," Percy said.

"That's good then. So… no fighting. Because by now she and Ron would have been at each other's throats."

Being reminded of Ron and Hermione's past stung, but only until the meaning of Harry's words sunk in. "They fought?"

"Constantly. Over every little thing," Harry confirmed.

"We are not like that. In fact, after a few initial misunderstandings we get on pretty well." It was true. Ever since Hermione agreed to be his wife, there hadn't been a single fight. And now that he understood what she needed when being intimate with him, it felt like nothing could go wrong. Why were his thoughts already drifting back to last night? This really wasn't the time or the place!

"Good. I knew there was a reason the two of you ended up together. Now, wand-holders…" rubbing his hands Harry dove into a lengthy explanation of why a certain model was better suited than another. Percy listened to him with one ear, nodding and humming words of agreement even though he found he didn't really care. He would have supported Harry's preference no matter what and the last years had shown that the Auror corps couldn't be well enough equipped. And now that Harry had mastered the training program with flying colours and had officially joined them, the Ministry didn't hesitate to invest the Galleons that a few years ago would have wandered into completely different pockets.

ssssssss

It was only around five when Percy left the office to make his way home. Originally he'd planned on staying much longer because work had piled up during his leave, like he had expected it would. But it wasn't like he had managed to even make a small dent into his to-do list, because no matter how determined he'd been in the morning, he hadn't been able to concentrate on any of his tasks. Going home was the only logical decision, no matter how guilty it made him feel. Because for the first time someone would be waiting for him when he came back from work, a fact that he was more excited about than he probably should be.

Only, the living room was empty when he stepped out of the floo, Crookshanks watching him from his cat tree as he made his way through the flat, hoping to find Hermione in one of the other rooms. He didn't. His wife was gone, not even leaving behind a message for him to find.

Percy wasn't prepared for the disappointment that hit him like a brick wall. Somehow he kept imagining the evening with his wife ever since he'd left the flat, a part of him even suggesting that there could be a repetition of yesterday's intimacies. Taking in his empty flat he suddenly didn't know what had prompted him to do so. Hermione had only married and had sex with him because of a Ministry law. It was as plain and simple as that.

Cursing his own sentimentality, he shrugged off his work clothes, exchanging them for something more comfortable. He needed out, needed to get away from the emptiness of his flat that kept taunting him. Luckily he knew exactly what would make him feel better now. It always did.

sssssssss

Hermione was just about to set the table when she heard the front door being unlocked, Percy walking into the room only moments later. He wasn't wearing a suit and a shirt like she'd expected he would. Instead, he was clad in joggers and a tight T-shirt, his face and arms glinting with sweat as he walked towards her, his face an unreadable mask.

"Percy. Have you been out doing some kind of sport?" she asked, carefully studying him. This was the most casual she'd ever seen him dressed during the day.

"I've been out running," he explained as he walked into the kitchenette, where he filled a glass with water and gulped it down. "You weren't here when I came back from work and as I didn't know when you'd be back I decided to go on a run."

Was there a hint of anger in his voice? She wasn't sure. She hadn't done anything wrong though and therefore she couldn't see any reason for him to feel angry towards her. She must be imagining it.

"I was out, getting dinner for us," she told him, feeling the sudden need to explain her absence. "You said you'd be back around seven and I wanted dinner to be ready when you arrived." Hermione felt her cheeks flush at her words. "I'm… I'm sorry it's not ready. I'm not very good with the whole wife thing."

"I see." The look in Percy's eyes softened. "That's very thoughtful of you. I'll quickly take a shower. Then I'm ready to eat with you."

Hermione nodded, smiling at him. For a moment she'd feared he'd refuse to eat with her, claiming that he wasn't hungry. After all, he'd told her that he often ate at work.

"Alright. Do you want some wine as well?"

Another smile in her direction. "Wine sounds lovely," Percy answered before making his way to the bathroom. Hermione followed him with her eyes and for a second she caught herself ogling his backside.

ssssssss

"I was thinking," Hermione told him later when they had almost finished their Chinese take-away. Percy had eaten most of it, despite the fact that he wasn't really hungry and had already eaten today. But it wouldn't do to offend his wife, especially as it gave him the chance to converse and drink a glass of wine. "Now that things are starting to settle down I'd like to focus on my career. I haven't made a decision yet, but I do have a few ideas."

Percy nodded. It was only natural for her to pursue her career now. She'd never been one to laze around. "Would you like my input on them? Or merely my support?"

"Both." Smiling shyly, she sipped her wine. "One idea is going back to Hogwarts as an apprentice. Professor McGonagall mentioned that she'd have me if I were interested and in a way I am. Hogwarts is the closest to home I have, but…" She didn't finish her sentence.

Percy's heart sank. The truth was, he didn't want her to go back to Hogwarts, knowing that she'd likely have to stay there overnight at least one or two times a week, supporting professor McGonagall with tasks like correcting essays and doing rounds. Naturally, she wouldn't be here those nights and even though it would still be possible for them to fulfill the requirements of the law, his flat would feel so much emptier without her in it. But that, he didn't dare to say.

"Are you considering becoming a professor?" he politely inquired, hoping that she'd decline. She did.

"No, I don't think I am. During fifth year we had the DA. Harry did most of the teaching, of course. He was a natural. The few times I tried… it wasn't for me."

Percy nodded, unable to deny the relief he felt. "Then why Hogwarts?"

Hermione sighed at his words. " I don't know. I don't make sense, do I?"

Her shy smile tugged at his heart strings. Suddenly he felt petty for having been upset about her absence earlier, especially since he'd been home much earlier than he said he would. Hermione hadn't abandoned him, she'd merely been out to get food, a gesture that made him feel welcome, cared for. Like a man who has been taken care of by a doting wife. It made him want to give something back and right now it was very clear what she needed. And for once it was something he could easily provide.

"It might help you to talk things through with me. I'll listen to your arguments and help you sort through them. That is, if you want my opinion."

"I-" Hermione blinked in surprise before smiling warmly at him as she relaxed into the couch. "I do actually. That would be really great… if you're up for listening to me whinge."

"Nonsense," Percy said. "It's not whinging when you're making an import decision. It's career planning."

Taking a deep breath Hermione launched into her explanation. "I have plenty of offers from the Ministry but honestly, I don't feel like accepting any of them. I don't mean any offense, Percy, but after… everything, I don't feel like I want to work there. Not any longer."

Percy nodded, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment he felt. Very briefly he'd imagined them being co-workers, eating lunch together in the cafeteria or sitting next to each other in a meeting, feet brushing against each other under the table. But no, that had obviously been a silly fantasy nothing more. If nothing else, she would have been professional about it… and so would he normally. What was happening to his mind?

"I see," Percy said, clearing his throat. "I'm not offended. Your choices are your own."

"Thank you," Hermione sighed, almost in relief. Did she honestly expect him to be disappointed? Maybe she thought he would expect her to stay at home like some of his brother's wives. Percy rejected the idea. It would be such a waste of her talents.

Hermione continued," I was also considering Muggle university simply because I feel like there's so much I've missed while going to Hogwarts. But at the same time I feel like the magical world has become such an integral part of my life and…"

"Yes?" Percy encouraged her, his hand coming to rest on hers encouragingly.

"I don't want to leave the magical world behind but at the same time I feel the need to reconnect with my parents…"

"Which is only natural considering the difficulties you've faced in the past. I've found myself regularly attending Sunday family lunches even though…" He snapped his mouth shut. This wasn't anything he'd planned on mentioning.

Of course Hermione wouldn't just let it go. "Even though?"

Percy grimaced. "I don't like most of the food that's served there. All that meat is heavy on my stomach and I…" He shook his head. "Also my family is very loud, extroverted, while I…"

"Prefer the company of one to the company of many," Hermione added, understanding flickering in her gaze.

"Indeed. It's another thing we have in common if I am not mistaken."

"You're not." Hermione looked at him for a long moment, her expression unreadable. "Anyway… no matter how interesting some of the possible muggle professions sound, I feel like that isn't the way for me either."

"It would be a waste of your talents," Percy said, hoping his words would not offend her. "Looking at the numbers, there are a thousand times more muggles than witches or wizards. Being a witch is a rare talent, Hermione and with your intelligence and magical abilities… Many people can become dentists or doctors…" Suddenly an idea was sparked inside of him. "Have you considered becoming a healer? Your parents are medical professionals so there would be some common ground."

Hermione's eyes lit up at his words. "A healer," she echoed, her eyes moving rapidly as she considered his words. "I've never considered… but…"

"It's a career requiring extensive knowledge in many different areas: potions, runes, curses, anatomy, transfiguration, even magical creatures…"

Hermione nodded, excitement flashing in her eyes. "Being a healer would give me the chance to really help, to do something useful… especially after the war…"

"St Mungo's is also vastly understaffed…" he added, suddenly feeling like he was manipulating her. He wasn't, not really. He was merely listing arguments.

"A healer…" Hermione's voice was barely more than an awed whisper. "I'll look into it. Do you think they'd take me?"

There wasn't a sliver of doubt they would. They'd fall over their feet, trying to convince Hermione to specialize in their field. "I have no doubt. But you can always inquire, via owl or in person. It wouldn't lock you into the profession either, you can continue to look into other options as well."

"Would you come with me? To inquire?"

He really didn't have time, especially after he'd wasted so much of it today. Yet one look into her wide, hopeful eyes was enough to make him nod. "Tomorrow?" he asked and when she smiled at him he felt his heart flutter with excitement. It wasn't important that he didn't have time. He'd make time for her, like any good husband would.

ssssssss

"I'm becoming a healer," Hermione murmured, staring at the Caesar Salad she'd ordered. After spending the better part of the morning chatting to the chief healer of St. Mungo's, Percy had suggested they have lunch together, and, flooded with gratitude for his silent support throughout the day, she had accepted.

"That, you are. Are you happy with your decision? Or do you want us to go through the pros and cons again?"

Hermione smiled, appreciating the thoughtful offer. "No. I'm happy. Thank you for coming with me today, Percy. I wouldn't have dared to ask for a meeting with the chief healer, or asked half of the questions you came up with. You're very good at this…"

Her husband looked at her with a frown. "At what?"

"Talking to people, professionally that is. I wouldn't have had half your confidence or an idea of what to say."

It was true. Hermione hated talking to people she didn't know, not because she didn't have anything to say but because her mind went blank when facing a bigger crowd or someone she thought her future depended on. It was one of the reasons she couldn't imagine being a teacher. She lacked the necessary confidence and authority. Percy… didn't.

"It was nothing. I am your husband, Hermione. And I swore to take care of you," the man assured her, blue eyes watching her as he ate his salad. "I am used to navigating difficult conversations. It is nothing compared to what I had to do during the war…"

Despite his casual tone Hermione felt that he'd just said something of importance and indeed her ears perked up at his words. "During the war?"

"I was working for the Ministry led by You-Know-Who. One misstep could have given me away and then everything would have been over."

"Everything?" Hermione frowned at her husband, trying to understand what he was saying.

"The anonymous messages I kept sending to Kingsley and other Order members. Tipps about which muggle-borns were to be invited for a hearing or other snippets of information I deemed important enough to pass on. I thought you knew."

Her eyes widened at the realization of what he was saying. "You worked as a spy?"

Percy shook his head. "No. There never was any personal contact between me and the Order, no messages passed to me. I was merely a useful source of information."

She hadn't known. No one had told her, not even after the war was over. Could it be…

"Does anyone know? Harry? The Ministry? Merlin! Your family?"

"The Headmistress does," Percy said while fidgeting uncomfortably with his salad. "It was naive to assume she wouldn't recognise my handwriting. She confronted me when I was helping with the repairs on the castle but I asked her not to say anything… to anybody. But I had figured she told you and Harry."

"Why didn't you tell your family?"

Percy didn't answer right away. Instead, he ate another bite of salad, his ice-blue eyes watching her calmly. "There has never been the right moment, I suppose. Right after the war, their attention was centered on Fred, who was still recovering. Also, there were things so much more important that took up their attention. After a while…" He shook his head, never finishing the sentence. "It doesn't make a difference now."

Hermione wanted to protest, to tell him that it did. But then she remembered her promise to respect his decisions, just like he respected hers. She had never told her parents about being petrified by the Basilisk either, or about the stunt they'd pulled at the Ministry at the end of their fifth year. After all these years, it wouldn't have mattered, or at least nothing good would have come from it. Was this how Percy felt as well?

"I'm glad you told me, Percy. It does make a difference for me, knowing that you didn't just turn a blind eye on all those muggle-borns being interrogated at the Ministry. It was one of the things that…" This time it was her falling silent with a shake of her head. "I won't tell anybody if you don't want me to."

She saw his shoulders relax at her words. "I'd appreciate that. I'd rather just forget the whole thing, to be honest. It was the only decent thing to do. I'm no hero, just your average pencil pusher."

For a moment Hermione just looked at him, her husband that was so much more than she'd realised when she'd married him. It wasn't that she saw him as a completely different person now. Instead, it was as if she discovered more and more hidden details of a painting after she'd stared at it long enough. They made her appreciate him as her husband and a person in general. Also, they made her wonder how many other things she didn't know about Percy Weasley and if she'd ever discover them. She hoped she would.