A9196: urgh. I horrible. It's been too long guys, and I'm really sorry for the wait. This month has been the same rollercoaster ride as the last. To top it off, I've been very busy securing my requirements for medical school, sooo…
Inuyasha: I thought we were rid of you!
Kagome: Inuyasha, don't be rude. We haven't seen her in a while.
A1969: I'm sorry! I don't mean to be a whiner, I just feel as though our good readers deserve a good explanation.
Sesshoumaru: you were not missed.
A1969: can it!
Miroku: anyway, the author would like to thank those of you who read, reviewed, and put this story on your favorites and alerts!
A1969: by the way, to all the guests who reviewed—I'm sorry I couldn't reply to your reviews. But thank you so much for taking the time! :D
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-Chapter Fifty-Two-
.:Beneath the Surface:.
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Clara
Warm.
As I slowly started to wake up, I couldn't help but think how warm I was. I felt a pair of strong arms around me. Last night with Sesshoumaru came rushing back, and I slowly opened my eyes.
Sesshoumaru had draped his large haori over us. My head was resting on his shoulder, my forehead pressed against the hollow of his neck. My fingers were splayed across his chest. I could feel it rising and falling beneath the palm of my hand, could feel the steady beating of his heart. Was he sleeping, I wonder?
I suddenly felt him run his fingers lazily through my hair. "How are you feeling?" he asked. His cold voice was low and soft.
My hand trailed slowly across his chest and towards his shoulder. "I think I'm the happiest person in the world right now," I admitted. And it was true. In this moment, I felt secure, like there was a bubble around us, keeping out the problems that lurked. I tilted my head upwards and kissed his neck.
Sesshoumaru's arm tightened around my shoulders. I glanced towards the shutters. The light coming from outside was dim, the light of winter. I couldn't tell if it was early morning, or near noon.
I felt Sesshoumaru press a kiss against the top of my head. His hand glided down my back to rest on my hips. I shuddered pleasantly at his touch.
Raising myself on one elbow, I lowered my head and kissed him. Sesshoumaru ran his tongue across my lower lip, and I groaned. He squeezed my hips. I felt him smirking against my lips as I gasped in surprise. He rolled us over, pressing me against the old futon. There was a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he looked down at me.
I blushed. "Good...good morning, by the way," I stammered. "Or good afternoon...whatever."
"Good, indeed," he agreed. He brushed his lips lightly against mine. I reached up and ran my hands along his back. I sighed as he deepened his kiss, his tongue clashing against mine.
He pulled away and I sighed as he pressed light kisses against my neck. My fingers twined in his hair. "Sesshoumaru," I murmured as he kissed me. I realized I sounded breathless. I pulled away from him, and he leaned his forehead against mine.
I caressed his cheek. "I love you," I said as I stared into his eyes. "So much." Was it even possible to feel this much love, and not explode from it? It may sound so sappy, but it was the truth.
He kissed my forehead. "What have you done to me?" he murmured.
The tone in his voice made me blush. "What are you going to do to me?" My face felt hot. I hadn't meant to say the words, they just...slipped out.
He smirked. The hungry look in his eyes sent a shiver down my spine. "You needn't be so concerned," he said huskily. His lips hovered teasingly above mine. "I shall keep you...preoccupied."
I could feel a pleasant ache spreading through me. I cleared my throat. "It-it's noon," I stuttered, thinking of all the ways he'd touched me last night. My cheeks burned. "We need to get going now."
Sesshoumaru's smirk became a predatory smile. "Noon?" he said. "It is still quite early in the morning."
We stared at each other. I wondered if he could see the desire in my eyes, just as I could see it in his.
I swallowed. "Oh."
Preoccupied, indeed.
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Kagome
I placed a hand on the wall of the cave. Just beyond the entrance, a crisp blanket of white covered the ground and the trees, giving Anru's clearing a serene, almost pleasant atmosphere. I was far from serene, though.
"Inuyasha, I think we should go look for her," I said, glancing into the cave behind me. The others were still asleep, with the exception of Sango, who was leaning against the cave wall. She was staring at Kohaku, a thoughtful frown on her face.
Sango looked up at me. "I'll come with you," she offered, as she carefully stood up.
"I don't get why you're so worried," Inuyasha said. He crossed his arms as he came closer.
"You heard what Kohaku said," I reminded him. "Clara and Sesshoumaru fought, and she ran off. Kohaku didn't see Sesshoumaru run off to find her, and the snowfall last night was pretty heavy. What if she's lost somewhere?"
"This is Sesshoumaru we're talking about," he reminded me. "I'm pretty certain that love-struck idiot ran off to find her. She'll be fine."
"What if he didn't?" I insisted. Sesshoumaru can be stubborn, when he wanted to.
"He did," Inuyasha said.
Before I could argue, Sango said, "I get the feeling Inuyasha's right, Kagome. Sesshoumaru does worry about her. I'm sure Clara will be fine."
There was something in the tone of her voice that made me forget about Clara. "Hey," I said. "Are you all right, Sango?"
She was silent. She stared past the cave entrance, a deep frown on her face. "I think we should head back to Kaede's for a while," she said. "Get warmer clothes, winter supplies. We could leave behind Shippou and Kohaku with Rin and Jaken."
"I told you how Sesshoumaru feels about 'a while'," Inuyasha reminded her.
She carefully made her way over to us, taking care to avoid stepping on anyone's fingers or toes. Her steps were measured, as though she were thinking deeply about what to say.
"I'm sorry," she said at last as she stood beside us. "About...everything. You must all think I'm selfish for not wanting to surrender Kohaku's shard—"
"Quit yapping," Inuyasha said, cutting her off. Sango blinked, taken-aback at Inuyasha's tone.
"Inuyasha!" I hissed.
He ignored me. "Kohaku's the only family you have left," he said. "Of course you don't want to give up his shard. It's natural that you don't want to lose him. He may have done things in the past, but he's still your brother, and that's all that really matters. If I were in your place, you'd have to walk all over my dead body before I'd let anything happen to family."
I felt a slow smile creeping on my lips. "I'll tell Sesshoumaru to give you a bro hug when he returns."
Inuyasha glared at me, and Sango chuckled quietly. "Thank you, Inuyasha," she said. "But that doesn't mean I'll stop trying to find a way to remove Kohaku's shard. It may be keeping him alive, but I don't want his life to be tied to it forever."
"And we'll help, of course," I added. I smiled at her. "Let's head back to Kaede's after everyone's woken up and had breakfast."
Inuyasha scoffed. "What good would seeing that old windbag do, anyway?" he muttered.
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Clara
I tied the knot of my hakama tightly. Letting out a breath, I glanced around the old room. The fire in the pit had died out long ago, and I was starting to feel the cold creeping up on me. Sesshoumaru had left a little while ago, saying he would be back quickly, and that I shouldn't leave the room.
I shivered slightly. Outside, the snow was falling in a scant shower, peppering the ground in white. I sat on the floor. Sesshoumaru had left his fluffy pelt and armor behind. I drew the pelt close, wrapping it around my shoulders. It was still warm from this morning.
My cheeks reddened. In all honesty, I…never expected that this would happen so soon, but I'm happy that it did. I remembered how it felt—to be one with him, to be so joined to him that I didn't know where I ended, and where he began. It wasn't the memory of the pain or pleasure that had seared itself into my mind—it was the blinding happiness I'd felt at being so close to Sesshoumaru, as close as a man and a woman could be.
His eyes…
Normally so cold and unreadable, his eyes had been open, expressive, as though he wanted me to see into his mind, to let me know that he loved me. I wrapped the pelt tighter around my shoulders. I remembered how his lips had felt, as he kissed me, remembered the sound of his voice as he murmured my name…
Perfect. It had been perfect.
"You're smiling."
I looked up. Sesshoumaru was standing at the open shutters. I could see the snow falling gently behind him. He closed the shutters as he stepped in. He was holding two parcels in his hands.
"Hi," I said. I could feel my smile widening.
He sat beside me. Leaning over, he kissed the top of my head, and I snuggled against him. "You seem happy," he said. I could hear a smile in his cold voice.
"I'm more than happy, I'm...ecstatic," I said, looking up at him. I kissed the corner of his mouth.
"You aren't feeling uncomfortable?" he asked.
I blushed. "No," I said, smiling. "I feel wonderful. A bit sore"—my blush deepened—"but nothing remotely close to pain."
Sesshoumaru frowned slightly, before he kissed the top of my head again. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, drawing me closer.
I leaned against him. We were silent for a while. "Here," he said, handing me one of the parcels.
I opened the parcel. There were several pears inside, a steamed fish in sauce, and a loaf of bread. "Eat," he said. "Before we return to the others."
I smiled at him. "Thank you." I handed him one of the pears.
Sesshoumaru grasped my wrist, and brought my hand close to his mouth. He took a bite of the pear, and I blushed as I stared at his angular jawline, at the hollow of his neck...
"Eat, Clara," he said as he let go of my hand.
As I ate, Sesshoumaru kept staring at me. I tried to ignore him at first, certain that he was only teasing. When he didn't stop, I turned to him, and raised an eyebrow.
"You know, staring can be quite creepy," I pointed out. "Especially when you're being so quiet about it." I grinned at him.
There was an amused look in his eyes. "Does that make you uncomfortable?" he asked. The tone of his voice lacked the seriousness I'd come to expect from him.
"Extremely," I joked. I took a bite of the bread, and looked pointedly away from him.
Sesshoumaru kept on staring.
I glanced over at him, feeling even more self-conscious. "You're doing that on purpose!" I said, laughing. I put down the half-eaten loaf. "All right, what? I'm all ears."
He grasped my chin, and tilted my face towards his. My cheeks warmed as I felt his lips against mine. I cupped his cheek in my hand as he deepened his kiss. My heart raced as he drew me onto his lap.
I straddled him and closed my eyes. I wound my arms around his neck, wanting to be even closer to him. He placed a hand on my knee, and I sighed against his lips.
He pulled away from me and stroked my cheek with his thumb. We stared at each other. I could feel his warm breath against my lips. "I love you," he said quietly, his eyes holding mine.
"I'm all yours," I said, smiling at him.
He kissed my forehead. "Finish," he said, eyes fixed on my half-eaten brunch. "Then we shall leave, and find the others."
I moved off his lap, and he stood gracefully. As I continued to eat, he donned his armor. I couldn't help but notice how deft his fingers were as he tied his sash. How deft they were last night…
I blushed and shook my head. Get your mind out of the gutter, Clara!
"Is something bothering you?" Sesshoumaru asked. I felt him standing behind me, the other parcel held in his hand.
"Nope!" I said quickly. "Not at all. I'm done." I popped the last of the fish into my mouth and quickly scrambled to my feet. I picked up his fluffy pelt from the floor, and draped it onto his shoulder, where it rightfully belonged.
"You know, you seem incomplete without it," I observed.
The corner of his mouth twitched as he handed me the parcel. "Is this dessert?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Just open it," he said.
The inside of the parcel contained another cloak, like the first one he had given me, except this one was red in color. I smiled at him.
He took it from my hands and draped it across my shoulders. "Humans are far too forgetful," he said, fastening it.
I grinned before I stood on tiptoe. I gave him a quick kiss, and he raised an eyebrow at me. "Thank you," I said.
His hand slipped behind my head as he drew me close. He gave me a deep kiss, wrapping an arm around my waist. I giggled as his lips trailed lazily along my jawline and down to my neck.
"Hey, we have to go now," I said as he squeezed my waist.
"Be quiet," he said as he nuzzled my neck.
I groaned as he sucked the skin beneath my ear. "H-hey," I said, blushing. I buried my fingers in his hair and drew him closer. "We have to go. Kohaku and the shard, remember?"
Sesshoumaru reluctantly pulled away, but not before giving me a kiss on the forehead. "Let's go," he said.
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Kagome
"I did not expect any of you to be back so soon," Kaede said as we landed in front of her hut.
Inuyasha and I hopped off of Ah-Un just as Kirara transformed and perched herself on Sango's shoulder. She mewed in greeting. Snow was falling gently around us. In all honesty, the cold was starting to get uncomfortable, especially with the skirt I was wearing. I made a mental note to ask Kaede if I could borrow warmer clothes.
"Complications," Inuyasha grunted as he crossed his arms.
Kaede frowned. "We really need your advice, Kaede," Sango said.
At that moment, the bamboo mat on Kaede's doorway flew open, and two figures came hurtling out into the snow. "Kagome, Inuyasha!" Rin shouted as she ran towards us. There was a large grin on her face.
"Rin," I greeted, smiling at her.
"Lord Sesshoumaru!" Jaken screeched, waving his arms.
"They aren't here, you toad!" Inuyasha's fist came crashing down on Jaken's head, and the imp let out a loud squawk of indignation.
Rin's smile faded slightly. "Eh?" she said, looking around. Ah-Un grunted at her. "Kagome, where are Clara and Lord Sesshoumaru?"
I really didn't want to tell her that they were probably in the fight-or-flight part of their relationship. In all honesty, I was starting wonder where they'd gone. I do hope they've managed to patch up their argument.
"They'll catch up, Rin," I said reassuringly. "They needed to talk about something. I'm sure they'll be back soon."
She nodded, though not satisfied with my answer. "Kaede," Miroku began. "I'd be very grateful for something warm to eat. We haven't eaten anything since this morning."
. . .
"Tell me, what complications did ye speak of?" Kaede asked minutes later after we were seated around her fire pit. She was ladling some warm broth into a bowl.
"We wondering if you could help us regarding the shard in Kohaku's back," Miroku said. He threw a quick glance at Sango, who nodded. "Ever since we left, we've been following lead after lead, but we've come up with nothing. We thought we had found a solution when we came across a legendary healer deep in the mountains west of here."
"Nothing?" Kaede asked, raising an eyebrow.
Sango shook her head. "Nothing," she said. "The healer—a demoness named Junko—told us that the Tenseiga was Kohaku's only chance. And we all know the Tenseiga doesn't work."
Everyone was silent. I glanced around our small circle. Most of us looked grim, even Rin. The only exception was Jaken, who looked impatient with his arms crossed, and his eyes raised to the ceiling.
"Do you know anything, Kaede?" Sango asked.
Kaede closed her eyes. "I am sorry, Sango," she said gently. "I'm afraid I cannot help ye. The skills of a priestess seldom encroach upon the domain of life and death. There were a notable few, such as sister Kikyou, and the priestess Midoriko."
Miroku gave me a look. "Do you think Clara could possibly...?"
I shook my head. "I doubt it. Remember, Clara's"—I threw a quick glance at Rin, and bit my lip—"I mean, I don't think she's trained enough for that."
Sango let out a breath. "Our best chance would be to ask older demons, like Totosai, or...is Myouga with you?" She turned expectantly towards us.
Inuyasha looked down at his shoulder, as though he expected to see Myouga. He blinked. "Eh, he's gone," he said. "That geezer, he didn't even tell me he was leaving!"
"Never mind," Sango said. "If Myouga knew something, I'm sure he would have told us by now." She paused. "We could...We could try asking Totosai, or...or Sesshoumaru's mother."
"Totosai, we can easily ask," I said. "Sesshoumaru's mother, on the other hand...Maybe we can let Sesshoumaru talk to her? I'm pretty sure if Clara asked him to, he would."
In all honesty, if Sesshoumaru really did take after his mother, I highly doubted she would help us. Still, maybe with the right push from Clara...
"Speak of the devil," Inuyasha muttered as he glanced towards the door.
The mat was pushed aside as Clara walked into the hut, followed closely by Sesshoumaru. She smiled brightly at us, her cheeks flushed from the cold.
"Hey!" she greeted. There was a twinkle in her eyes, and her smile was wide. She looked, there was no other word for it, extremely happy. It looks like she managed to patch things up with Sesshoumaru, at least.
"Clara, Lord Sesshoumaru!" Rin shouted happily. She leapt to her feet and careened into Clara, her arms wrapping around her waist as Jaken's screech of, "Milooord!" ran throughout the hut.
"Hi, Rin!" Clara said, returning the little girl's hug.
"About time you two kissed and made up," Inuyasha muttered under his breath.
Sesshoumaru threw him a look of pure contempt, before giving Rin an affectionate pat on the head. From the corner of my eye, I could see Sango staring warily at Sesshoumaru, who pointedly ignored her.
Sesshoumaru leaned against the wall, arms crossed as he stared around the room. His eyes settled on Clara as she sat beside me. There was something in his cold eyes as he looked at her...Adoration? Protectiveness? I couldn't really say. In any case, it wasn't a look I'd seen before.
"Anyway," Clara said. "What have we missed?" Boy, someone looked oddly cheerful despite the gravity of the situation.
I looked towards Sango. She hesitated, and Miroku spoke up. "We were wondering," Miroku said, glancing at Sesshoumaru. "If you would...help us."
An elegant eyebrow slowly arched, and Miroku, encouraged, went on. "We couldn't find a way to help Kohaku. Not even the demoness, the healer named Junko, could. We think that maybe we could find an answer in ancient demonic lore, something your clan would have access to."
Kohaku shifted uncomfortably. "Wait," Clara said slowly. "If you could find answers in 'ancient demonic lore', why haven't we done that days ago?"
"There may, or may not be an answer," Sesshoumaru replied. "Perusing ancient texts will take time, and, in the end, we may find nothing. A waste." He paused. "However, I shall ask Mother's help regarding the matter."
We gaped at him. Firstly, that was quick. Second, did he really just admit to asking for help? Someone felt pretty accommodating.
Sango stared at him. "Thank you," she said.
Sesshoumaru threw her a swift glance, before looking away. Clara caught his eye, and she smiled at him. Admittedly, it was amazing how more…tolerant Sesshoumaru was of others lately.
"We could try asking Kasai's help, too," Clara mused. "I know he said that gods weren't supposed to meddle with our affairs, but what if we asked properly? He's been meddling already, anyway."
"No." Sesshoumaru's voice was flat, and Clara blinked, surprised. I take it, our last visit with Kasai was still embedded in his mind.
"Clara's right, you know," I said. "I mean, if there's anyone who could help, it's a god. Kasai's nice enough, once you get past the—"
"No," Inuyasha snapped, glaring at me.
Clara and I glanced at each other. "Don't be silly," Clara said, neither to Inuyasha nor to Sesshoumaru. "If there's a chance Kasai can help us, we could at least ask him—again. Kagome and I will go."
"I'll come along, too," Sango spoke up.
"But—" Miroku began. Sango's glare cut him off.
"That's that, then," Clara said as she stood and turned to Sesshoumaru. "Kagome, Sango, and I will go and speak with Kasai. And you'll go and ask Lady Hayomi's help."
Sesshoumaru nodded once. Huh. Accommodating, indeed.
"My lord," Jaken began, looking hopeful.
"Remain here, and watch over Rin," Sesshoumaru said swiftly. Jaken sighed.
"You're leaving again?" Rin asked.
"Not for long," Clara said, ruffling her hair. "We'll be back later this evening, or early morning, depending how things go."
"Can't we come along, please?" Rin asked. She stared at Clara with wide, hopeful eyes. "Master Jaken and I will be good, I promise!"
"Are you saying I'm a burden?!" Jaken snapped.
Clara and Sesshoumaru ignored him. "Rin—" Clara began.
"I just don't want to be left behind again," Rin said, lowering her eyes to the floor.
Between Clara and Sesshoumaru, I think it was Clara who was likely to cave when faced with a pleading child. She bit her lower lip, and glanced towards Sesshoumaru.
"Rin can come along," I said. "We're just going to see Kasai anyway, and we won't be long. Besides, we need to bring Kohaku, so…" I shrugged.
Sesshoumaru's eyes fell on Rin, who stared at him. She didn't look at all pleading. She looked as though she were only waiting for whatever verdict he was about to pronounce.
Slowly, he nodded. "Very well, then," he conceded. Rin's expression immediately brightened. Turning to Jaken, Sesshoumaru said, "If anything untoward happens, Jaken…" He let the threat hang in the air.
"Of course not, milord!" Jaken said, puffing out his chest. "I have never let you down, and I won't start now!"
"I can name a few instances," Clara said, grinning at the toad. Jaken went stiff. He looked as though he wanted to give her the evil eye, but didn't dare.
Sesshoumaru stared at Clara, before he gestured towards the door. Clara followed him out, her expression curious.
"Inuyasha," I said, turning to him. "You and Miroku can go ask Totosai. He might know something."
"And leave you with that perverted excuse of a god?" Inuyasha snapped.
"We can handle ourselves, Inuyasha," Sango reassured him. "I've had plenty of experience dealing with perverts, remember?" She stared pointedly at Miroku, who chuckled.
For a while, the weight of our problem seemed to lift from our shoulders as the possibility of a solution loomed ahead of us. Surely, between Totosai's experience, and Lady Hayomi's wisdom, we would find something, right?
I hope we wouldn't be empty-handed this time.
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Clara
"We'll be fine, Sesshoumaru, I promise," I said. I looked up at him as the snow fell gently around us. "Kasai maybe something of a pervert, but he's completely harmless, you know."
Sesshoumaru still did not look pleased. He stared at me for a while, before he let out a breath. "As you wish, then," he said. He leaned towards me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I shall see you later this evening." He paused, staring intently at me. It reminded me of the way he stared at me last night, and I couldn't help but blush.
I smiled at him. "I won't do anything foolish," I said solemnly.
He kissed my forehead again, before light enveloped him. The snow flurried around me as the orb of light shot towards the sky and out of sight.
"Clara."
I spun around just as Sango emerged from Kaede's hut, followed by Miroku and Inuyasha. I tried to smile at her, but I could feel the muscles of my face stiffening as I remembered the promise I'd made to Sesshoumaru—that I would let him pull out Kohaku's shard after a week had passed, regardless of whether or not we found a way to save him.
Looking at Sango, I immediately felt horrible. How could I even think about saving my own skin in front of her?
Sango turned to Miroku and nodded. "Inuyasha and I won't be far off," he said.
"As soon as Kagome's ready, we're all leaving," Inuyasha told me. "She's changing into some of Kikyou's old clothes."
I nodded and watched as they made their way towards the village. I became painfully aware of Sango's eyes on me.
"Clara, can we talk?" she suddenly said.
I reluctantly nodded, feeling a spasm of guilt in the pit of my belly. "We really should," I said. I inwardly panicked. It was supposed to be Sesshoumaru doing this. I gave myself a mental kick. No. This was my problem, not his.
Sango hesitated, deliberating. "I know that you and Sesshoumaru will take Kohaku's shard, if it boils down to it," she said at last. Her voice was tight. "Clara…I'm…sorry."
I blinked, surprised at her apology. "What?" I said.
"I'm sorry," Sango repeated. "If it comes down to it…I can't let you take it. Kohaku is my brother, the only family I have left. I can't let anyone take him away from me."
We stared at each other. I tried picturing myself in her shoes. If I had had a brother, doubtless, I would try to protect him just as Sango was protecting hers. It was the most natural thing to do, wasn't it? To protect the people you loved, to keep them safe and keep them with you.
I shook my head. "You don't have to apologize," I said slowly. "I should, actually." I bit my lip. "Because…I promised Sesshoumaru I would let him…" I didn't finish. She knew what I'd promised.
I couldn't read the expression in Sango's eyes. She looked up at the sky, at the falling snow. I'd only just noticed that she was holding a wide-brimmed straw hat in her hands. She clutched it tightly, and I inwardly flinched. She must think me horrible.
"I'm sorry," I said. My voice sounded small.
Sango sighed, and her breath rose in a mist between us. She gave me a small, sad smile. "I guess…we both know where we stand, right?"
I clenched my fists. In that moment, I wanted to promise her I wouldn't let Sesshoumaru take Kohaku's shard, wouldn't condemn her brother to death. But I remembered the expression in Sesshoumaru's eyes last night as he pleaded with me.
Are you asking me to suffer for the sake of other people?
No. Far be it for me to let Sesshoumaru go through an ounce of pain. Besides…being with him last night made me realize that there was so much more to life. I wanted to live, wanted to have a future with everyone.
My desires against my conscience. My life for Kohaku's.
I wanted to live, yes. But I would rather it wasn't at the expense of Kohaku's life.
"We'll find a way out of this," I said, more to myself than to Sango. "We'll find a way to save Kohaku."
Sango held my gaze. "If the worst happens, and we can't save Kohaku, will you…promise me one thing?"
"Anything," I said.
She exhaled. "Give us time to run."
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Sesshoumaru
"So, you confronted her," Mother said as I followed her down the empty hallways. Fire burned in the torches on the wall, casting shadows on my path. "At last. With enough experience, a daiyoukai can sense the life-force of a person. I suppose she was not aware of this fact, or she would have been more careful when she was here the last time."
"And?" Mother went on, after a moment's silence.
"That is my concern alone," I said quietly. "I am merely here to make an inquiry."
"Of course you are," she said dryly.
"We both know Father's library houses numerous texts on ancient demonic lore," I said. "You have, no doubt, perused through them."
"There are thousands of books and numerous scrolls. One needs time to peruse them," Mother said.
"Time is something I cannot afford," I replied.
She glanced at me from over her shoulder as we turned onto an open veranda. The gardens were spread out before us. The layer of snow that covered the ground had grown thicker.
"I can sense your urgency," she said. "And it is understandable. However, you would have better luck of pulling the shard from the boy's back. Some of those books are written in foreign tongues, languages that only your Father understood. I will need the time to translate them."
Pausing, she turned to me. Her expression was unreadable. "Time that Clara does not have."
I felt my gaze grow cold. "I take it, you sensed the life-force she had, the last you saw her," I said. The coming question was one I, admittedly, dreaded. "How much time does she have left?"
Mother narrowed her eyes. "Less than a week, I should think. Six days, give or take."
For a second, I could feel myself grow rigid. I let out a breath, watching as it fogged before my eyes.
I gave her a swift nod. "Very well."
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Clara
"I should have gone with Lord Sesshoumaru!"
I rolled my eyes as I watched Jaken walking back towards us, a pile of sticks in his arms to add to the burning fire. The snow crunched beneath his scaly feet as he walked.
Rin, and I were sitting beneath a cluster of trees in a wide field of snow. Mt. Fuji loomed behind us. Sango and Kagome had taken Kirara and Kohaku and had gone on to Kasai's palace.
I had chosen to stay behind with Rin and Jaken. Rin couldn't tolerate flying any further, not with the cold air. She was easily chilled. Kagome had already given her several sweaters, and Kaede had Rin wear a heavy kimono and thick tabi socks.
Rin was sitting close to me, arms wrapped around herself. I draped my cloak around the both of us, and she smiled happily at me.
"I think I'm going to have to take you back," I said, glancing up at the falling snow. "I shouldn't have let you come in the first place."
"But you let Kohaku come along," she pointed out.
"We needed him to come along," I said gently. "Kasai is supposed to help him, after all."
"But, Clara!" she protested. "I missed you and Lord Sesshoumaru so much!"
I slung an arm across her shoulders and drew her against me. "I know," I said, sighing. "We missed you, too. But it's getting colder, Rin, and you should be somewhere warm and safe. Okay?"
She looked up at me with what can only be described as 'puppy-dog eyes'. I let out a long breath. How does Sesshoumaru get her to listen to him so easily?
Rin nodded. "I will—but you have to catch me first!" Grinning, she flung off my cloak and bolted towards the field of snow.
I laughed as I stood. "You know, that's really easy!" I called out as I dashed after her. Snow crunched beneath my feet as I ran. Rin had gotten a decent head start, but the snow had piled and she couldn't run fast.
"Catch me, Clara!" Rin shouted, giggling. She waved her small arms in the air as she leapt over banks of snow.
"You idiot girls, get back here!" Jaken screeched.
I ignored him as I ran, laughing. It felt so good to run and laugh in the snow, like a child. For a moment, I forgot I was dying, forgot about the jewel, and Naraku. I just ran and laughed, letting Rin get a little farther before I'd eventually catch her.
"Clara!" Rin called out, giggling.
Rin was halfway through the field. "Don't be so smug!" I called out. I increased my speed and leapt over the snow banks. I laughed as I fell, falling face first into the snow.
"Very graceful!" Jaken called out, voice dripping with heavy sarcasm.
I held my arms out to catch myself. As I stood, I became aware of a sound beneath Rin's laugh. Low, nearly inaudible. Coming from beneath the snow.
Cracking.
The snow was…cracking? No, not snow. Ice. Thin ice.
Merde.
Rin was laughing ahead of me as she continued to run out onto the ice. "Rin, stop!" I shrieked.
She immediately stopped and turned towards me. "Clara?" she said, tilting her head.
"Don't move!" I shouted. I could hear ice groaning beneath the snow. My heart was hammering.
"What is it, what's wrong?" Jaken shouted. I glanced over my shoulder just as he took a step onto the treacherous field of snow.
"No, don't!" I screamed. He stopped, a look of bewilderment and panic on his face.
"Clara?" Rin yelled. I could hear the worry in her voice. "Clara, what's wrong?"
"The ice," I said, trying to be calm. I slowly spread my legs to balance my weight. Ice cracked again, and I swallowed. "Jaken," I called. "Ah-Un. Get Rin."
Before Jaken could even move, Ah-Un was already in the air, soaring towards Rin. "Clara?" she said. She tried to suppress the panic she felt as another groan came from beneath us.
I looked up as Ah-Un hovered above Rin. I watched as he flew lower until he was beside her, keeping his clawed feet several inches off the ground.
"Careful," I said, holding Rin's eye. "Get on Ah-Un. Be very careful—no sudden movements." The ice cracked again, and my heart nearly stopped as a look of fear shot through Rin's eyes. "The ice is thin."
"What about you, Clara?" Rin asked.
"No, you first," I said.
"But the ice—"
"Now!"
I watched as she swallowed the lump in her throat. Rin's arms shook as she reached out and placed them both on Ah-Un. As she hauled herself onto Ah-Un, the ice cracked beneath the snow, and I gasped.
Rin grasped Ah-Un's reins and steered him towards me, his feet barely skimming the ice. Ah-Un hovered beside me, one head tilted to urge me onto his back. My palms felt sweaty. I reached out to place both hands on his flank.
And then cold.
I wasn't even aware that the ice had finally given way. The only thing I could register was that Rin was screaming. And the cold.
It felt like cold needles were piercing every inch of my skin! Water seeped into my clothes, dragging me deeper. I flailed my arms and kicked, trying to find the surface. Was I upside down? Where was the surface? It was so cold!
I kicked and let out a scream of bubbles as I felt my head collide against something hard—ice. The hole in the ice…I couldn't find it!
Blind panic threatened to take hold of me. It took everything I had to remain calm. I pressed my palms against the surface of the ice. Think, Clara!
Cold needles. Cold needles everywhere. Air, I need air! Dammit!
Shinsei!
My fingers felt stiff as they wrapped around the hilt of the sword. It took every ounce of strength I had just to pull it from its sheath. I jammed it upwards towards the ice.
Nothing.
Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic!
I thrust the sword upward again, trying to place as much strength in my arm as I could. But it was so cold, and my lungs were on fire. Any moment now, my body would force me to take a breath of air.
I struck harder. Trying, trying…and then…
Black.
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
Kagome
I clenched my fists as I stared at the little god standing in front of us. Ever since we'd first met Kasai, he'd always struck me as being somewhat featherbrained. But as Sango, Kohaku and I looked at him now, we saw only a stern little god, with his arms crossed and his severe eyes narrowed at us.
He shook his head. "I have once told you—gods cannot meddle in the affairs of this world. I already risked much in helping Midoriko's reincarnation re-forge that demon's blade. Any more help on my part will bring the other gods' judgment upon my head."
"Then why did you bother helping Clara in the first place?" Sango asked. Her eyes were hard. "If you and the other gods were forbidden from interfering, why did you re-forge the Tenseiga?"
Kasai shook his head. "Midoriko was a dear friend. Had I been there when she fought off that demon, she need not have died, and the Shikon jewel would never have been born. My re-forging the Tenseiga was to make amends."
"Please!" Sango said. There was an edge of desperation to her voice. "You can help us remove the shard without killing him! If you had any respect for Midoriko, please help us remove the shard so we can complete the Sacred jewel and destroy it!"
I stared at Kasai. I had always wondered why he forged Shinsei for Midoriko, if gods were not allowed to interfere in the affairs of this world.
"You loved Midoriko, didn't you?" I asked slowly.
Kasai's eyebrow visibly twitched as his stern eyes turned to me. His face was smooth, but his eyes were hard, almost harsh. "I did," he said.
We stared. It was hard to imagine this old, perverted little god in love with a mortal like Midoriko.
"Before Anru and I were punished, I met her on her travels," he said. "I won't go into details—I fell in love with her, and forged Shinsei to keep her safe. Mind you, she never returned my affections. Anru and I were constantly bickering because of it."
"And that was when the gods punished you?" I asked.
"Yes—my constant arguments with my twin sister were causing more harm than good." He paused. "Anru has never spoken to me since. My infatuation with a mortal led to our downfall. Surely, you must understand why I cannot help you."
Kohaku reached out and placed a hand on Sango's shoulder. "Sis, it's fine," he said. "You don't need to save me all the time."
Sango turned to him, her hair whipping sharply behind her. It looked as though she wanted to say something, but shook her head. Instead, she pulled Kohaku towards her, her arms wrapping protectively around him. He blushed in embarrassment.
"We won't give up," Sango said fiercely. "I promise you, Kohaku, I won't lose you again!"
The stern expression in Kasai's eyes softened, and he sighed as he looked up at me. "If I could, I would," he said, sighing. He sounded tired.
I nodded. "I know," I said simply.
. . .
"Sango...don't worry, we'll find something else," I said. The cold air blew against me as we flew back towards Clara and the others. Sango, who was sitting in front of Kohaku, shook her head.
She glanced at me from over her shoulder. I gently clenched Kirara's fur. The last time I had seen that look in her eyes, she had just discovered that her whole village had been slaughtered by Naraku.
"And if we don't?" Her voice was harsh, laced with desperation. I gave her a sad look.
"Sis, look!" Kohaku craned his neck over Sango's shoulder. He was staring ahead of us. In the distance, we could make out the wide field of snow where we had left Clara and the others earlier.
What on earth…?
Rin, mounted on Ah-Un, was hovering above the middle of the field. She was staring down at the field, at a dark hole. We were close enough to hear her screams. Wait, a hole…?
"It's a lake," Sango suddenly said. "Kirara, go! Quickly!"
Kirara flew faster, and I had to hold on to Kohaku. As we drew closer, I could make out Rin's words.
"Clara!" she screamed.
"Rin!" I shouted. She looked up at us with wide, distressed eyes.
"Kagome, Sango, Clara fell in!" she shouted. "We were on the field, but it was a lake, and she fell in!"
Kirara hovered close to Ah-Un, and Sango and I stared at the hole beneath us. Cold water lapped against its edges. The water was too dark to make out anything.
"Kagome, mind Kohaku and Rin," Sango suddenly said. Without further ado, she leapt from Kirara's back and into the icy water below.
"Sis!" Kohaku shouted. He made a move to jump, but I held him back.
"Don't," I warned him. "Look, that ice won't hold your weight."
Kohaku's jaw tightened as we both stared at the water. My hands shook as the seconds slowly ticked by. "C'mon, Sango," I breathed.
I glanced towards the edge of the field. Jaken was jumping up and down, a panicked look on his face. "Jaken!" I called out. "Get over here, and use your staff to melt the ice!"
"And fall in myself?!"
"Would you rather Sesshoumaru have your head?" I snapped, annoyed. "Get over here now!"
Jaken rushed onto the ice towards us. He was small enough to keep his weight from breaking the ice. He stood at the edge of the hole, staff raised.
Sango's head suddenly broke through the water. She took in lungfuls of air as she gasped. "I-I c-can't find her!" she said, her voice shaking. "T-too d-dark!"
"How long has Clara been under?" I asked, turning to Rin.
Rin looked as though she were on the verge of tears. "I don't know!"
"Get back!" Jaken shouted, raising the staff.
Sango raised her hand towards me, and Kirara lowered herself so we could pull Sango out. The moment she was gone, flames spurted from the Staff of Heads. Steam rose as the ice melted and the hole grew wider.
"No, no!" Jaken shouted, peering into the dark water below. "She's not here!"
I felt a lump in my throat. Had Clara…drowned? Had her body already sunk to the bottom?
"Jaken!" Kohaku called out. "Melt more of the ice! Clara may have drifted away from the hole!"
The hole widened as flames shot out of the staff. "Nothing!" Jaken screeched as he backed away from the widening hole.
"I'm going back in," Sango said as she prepared to jump.
"Sango, wait—!" I placed a hand on her arm to stop her, when light suddenly burst at the edge of my vision.
"What on earth!?" Sango, Kohaku and I turned towards the edge of the frozen lake. A column of white light shot from beneath the snow. Kirara sped towards it as the ice began to crack, its moans echoing through the field.
Kohaku and Sango raised their weapons, but my hands only clenched Kohaku's shoulder. They had nothing to worry about. This white light was neither demonic nor malicious, and I would know this intense surge in spiritual energy anywhere.
"It's Clara!" I exclaimed.
"What did you say?" Sango said, surprised.
Before I could repeat myself, the column of light promptly vanished, leaving a wide hole in the ice. Clinging to the very edge of the hole, half her body submerged in icy water, was Clara.
"Clara!" I shouted.
Kirara quickly sped towards the ground. From the peripheral of my vision, I saw Ah-Un rushing towards, a panicked Rin grasping his reins with worry.
Kirara landed on the thicker part of the ice, and we immediately rushed towards Clara. Sango and I grasped her firmly by the shoulders and pulled her out. Shinsei was clenched tightly in her fist.
"She's breathing, thank goodness," Sango murmured as we laid her on the ice. She may have been breathing but she was shivering heavily, and her lips were a light shade of blue. Her eyelids fluttered as she drifted in and out of consciousness.
"Clara, is she all right?" Rin shouted as she dismounted from Ah-Un. She ran towards us, her eyes anxious.
"We have to get her somewhere warm," Sango said. She glanced up at the falling snow and frowned. "Kasai. Kasai's palace is nearest here. He may not want to help us with Kohaku, but I think he'll help us save her."
. . .
"Here," Kasai said as we followed him down the dim hallways of his palace. He slid open one of the doors in the hall, and we quickly followed him in. A bright fire was already burning in the hearth.
Kasai gestured to the futon on the floor, and Sango quickly laid Clara down. There was a pot of warm water beside the futon, and a washcloth.
"Out," Sango commanded.
For once, Kasai complied and led Kohaku, Jaken, and Rin from the room. There was a grim expression on his face. Though she was not exactly Midoriko herself, I think that Kasai cared about Clara, for old time's sake. I quickly banished the thought as Sango quickly undid the knot of Clara's hakama.
"We have to warm her body, before her arms and legs," Sango muttered. She swiftly removed Clara's hakama and her haori. I took them from her. They were icy cold and thoroughly soaked.
Sango quickly covered Clara with the thick blanket. Clara was shivering. Her eyes would flutter open before closing again, and her teeth chattered.
Clara's eyes flew open, and she looked up at Sango as though only just recognizing her. "Y-you," she began.
"Try not to talk too much," Sango murmured. She drew the futon closer to the fire, and Clara sighed in gratitude.
I stood and hung Clara's wet clothes on a bamboo pole. By now, the room was fairly warm and Clara's shivering had lessened. I sat beside Sango who was staring at Clara with intense eyes, as though she expected her to go into a fit.
"She'll be fine," Sango said as she drew the blanket up to Clara's chin.
"You're helping her," I said. Immediately, I felt like hitting myself. What a stupid thing to say.
Sango, who was tucking the blankets around Clara, froze. Definitely a stupid thing to say, Kagome. We both knew what my question implied.
"I am, aren't I?" Sango said as she sat back. "Despite our dilemma with the shard, Kagome, Clara is still a friend. I would gladly give her Kohaku's shard if I knew doing so wouldn't kill him." She shook her head. "There's already been enough ill feeling between me and Sesshoumaru. I don't want to make things worse."
I nodded. "I'm sure Sesshoumaru understands your decision for wanting to keep the shard in Kohaku," I said. "I think it's one of the reasons why he's been so accommodating. He could easily take the shard, but he hasn't. Though they're constantly fighting, he and Inuyasha are brothers. I'm sure that's a bond he understands, albeit reluctantly."
At that moment, the sound of footsteps thudded down the hall, followed by Kasai's flustered voice. "There's no need to be so rude, they are doing their best to help her," he was saying. "You shouldn't interrupt—"
The door to the room quietly slid open, and Sesshoumaru strode in, silent and deadly. "I tried to stop him," Kasai said, shrugging apologetically at us.
Sango and I hastily moved back as Sesshoumaru drew closer. His face was a smooth, emotionless mask as he stared at Clara. She had already stopped shivering, and her eyes were closed. Her expression was almost serene.
Kasai crept silently into the room behind Sesshoumaru. His expression was wary as he stared at Clara. Something flickered in his eyes, and he frowned slightly.
I turned my attention back to Sesshoumaru. He knelt beside Clara and narrowed his eyes as he stared at her. He cupped her cheek with his clawed hand, before glancing at us from over his shoulder. Waiting for an explanation, I realized.
"We left Clara and Rin behind, as Rin couldn't take too much of the cold," I said quickly. "We didn't know the field they were standing on was a frozen lake."
"Hn," was all the demon lord said.
I hesitated as he turned his attention back to Clara. "Sesshoumaru, I was wondering…Are Inuyasha and Miroku back from Totosai's yet?"
He ignored the question. I wasn't really surprised. It was worth a shot, though.
Clara suddenly let out a little moan as she shuddered. "Clara," Sesshoumaru murmured, stroking her cheek with his thumb.
Sango and I edged slowly towards the head of the futon. Clara slowly opened her eyes. She blinked rapidly, disoriented, as she stared up at the ceiling.
"Clara," Sesshoumaru said again, stroking her cheek.
Clara slowly turned her eyes towards him. For a moment, she looked confused, before comprehension dawned on her. "You," she said, before she slapped his hand away.
What?
For an instant, Sesshoumaru looked taken aback, before his cold mask settled into place again. Sango raised an eyebrow at me, just as surprised as Sesshoumaru probably felt.
"Do not touch me," Clara said, narrowing her eyes. Her expression, normally gentle and open, was suddenly stern and guarded.
Sesshoumaru frowned as he looked down at her. "You are unwell," he said simply.
Clara groaned. "A fighter, yes, but weaker," she muttered to herself. She moved her arms, scowling. "Icy water was nothing to me before."
Sango and I blinked at each other. It sounds as though someone hit her head a little too hard on the ice.
Clara made an attempt to sit up, but Sesshoumaru placed a hand on her bare shoulder, keeping her down. Scowling, Clara stared at his hand until he slowly pulled it away.
"Where are my clothing?" she demanded, clutching the heavy blanket closer to her.
"Your clothes were wet, Clara," I said. "We had to let them dry."
Clara sat up, clutching the blanket closer to her. Sesshoumaru was staring at her with narrowed eyes. I could almost hear the gears turning in his head as he stared at Clara.
"Kasai," Clara said, looking at the god from over Sesshoumaru's shoulder. She smiled slightly at him, amused. "I've never seen you look so flustered before."
Kasai only stared at her, his expression unreadable. "You aren't supposed to be awake," he said simply.
Sesshoumaru stood, and Clara followed, wrapping the blanket around herself. She smiled, but it did not reach her hard eyes.
"Midoriko," Sesshoumaru said.
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
A1969: end of chapter.
Sango: leaving again, eh?
A1969: guilt-tripping is one of your strong suits, isn't it? Miroku: that may be so, but you'll never find anyone like Sango *gropes her butt* Yes, there's no one quite like—
Sango: *whacks Miroku* you disgusting pervert! Not here!
Sesshoumaru: …
Inuyasha: you people can be so annoying. Jeez.
Kagome: well, anyway, that's all, folks! Don't forget to read and review!