Author's Notes- I don't own Dragon Ball Super. The show and manga are created by Toei Animation, Funimation, and Akira T. Here is another fantasy adventure story for you all. This is not like the remix, but a parody of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears". If you don't know the story or have heard of it, then you will be fine in reading this chapter. Hope that you like it. Thanks!
Caulifla and Kale What IF: Chapter Twenty Nine- "Caulifla and the Three Bears?"
Planet Sadala, North City...
North City is a peaceful city, where the Saiyans work happily and the soldiers go off-world for spreading their justice throughout the universe. But, there is one Saiyan who would prefer to be lazy and rude. That person happens to be lazily walking down the sidewalk with a basket of goodies. Her name is Caulifla and almost everyone does not like her presence. She steals apples, bananas, and goodies, like the ones in her basket, without caring for the people who sold them in the first place. She eats one of the goodies, showing off her more gluttonous side. Saiyans do have an appetite, but Caulifla's is the worst. The people ignore the Saiyan girl, knowing that messing with her will be a horrible decision. She is the resident bad girl in North City. Who could live with this girl? Well, her brother does. Renso, a former SDF elite, and captain of the team asked Caulifla to buy him some goodies from the bakery. Caulifla does this objective but in her way. Even though Renso gave her some money, Caulifla just used the money to save for another occasion: buying more pants for her gi collection. She leaves the city where her brother recently lives. In a colorful cabin with a heart-shaped door and smoke coming out of the chimney. Caulifla cringes from the look of this cabin. She doesn't like the color pink, but her brother decides to paint the cabin like this. Plus, her tube tops are in the disgusting color she is forced to wear. She knocks on the door, asking for her brother to open it. She doesn't get a response, but a loud thud from within the cabin. "UGH! Dammit! Not again! Caulifla! The back door is open and I've fallen again! Please hurry!" said Renso, as Caulifla rolls her eyes from annoyance. She knows that her brother retired from the SDF elites, because of his previous mission injuring his leg. He can't walk around the cabin without his cane and keeps forgetting to grab it to get up. After Caulifla walks around the cabin, enters in through the back door, and sees her brother on the floor in pain, she helps him up.
The two sit around a small coffee table for some goodies to snack on. When Renso grabs the basket from his young sister, he salivates in hunger from how good these goodies are going to be in his stomach. He opens the basket, only to see crumbs and nothing else. "Where are the goodies at, Caulifla?" said Renso, as he hears a loud burp from the Saiyan girl. Caulifla wipes some crumbs from her mouth, as revealed that she ate all of the goodies in there. This causes her brother to be very upset with her for eating the sweets again. "What!? I got hungry again! You know how shopping and eating go for me!" said Caulifla, as she rubs her 'full' stomach from the snacks. Renso could just yell at Caulifla, but that would lead to her getting mad to hurt him. And he has a broken leg to deal with, so doubling his pain further will not be the best option. He later thinks of something that could teach Caulifla a lesson in hard work and say no to a delicious-looking meal. Renso smiles from his plan working, before looking at his sister for an important mission.
"Hey, Caulifla? I got a very, very special errand for you to do for me. Are you up for it?"
"Yeah. I just ate a whole basket of sweets, so I'm good for another shopping."
"This isn't about shopping. I want some honey from the farther parts of the forest. I could do it on my own, but my leg is broken for the time being. You, however...you can go and get the honey for me."
"Honey? Why would you want honey for?" [Raised her eyebrow]
"I need honey for my tea. I always pour honey in my tea for some settled taste in the morning."
"Right. I see that a lot."
"Now, for this to be a good mission for you, you have to not. And I mean NOT eat the honey on the way back. Do you hear me?"
"Why? It's just honey. Eating honey would mean that it will get on my shirt and will have to wear that other outfit you have in that closet of yours." [Makes a disgusted expression] "Ugh! That dress with pink roses makes me want to puke up the goodies just by thinking of it!"
"If you want to ignore that from happening, then try not to eat it."
"Fine, fine, I'll not eat the honey on the way back." [Stands up] "Where is this honey at?"
"The honey is on the far right from the cabin. Once you're there, beware of bears. I've heard that they are dangerous around visitors like us."
"I will. Those bears won't touch me for crap!" [Begins to leave the cabin] "See ya later, bro!" [Leaves the cabin]
"Hehehe! That will teach her not to eat my goodies. I don't think that those bears will be able to hurt her. Or will they?" [Rubs his chin] "Maybe I should have told her about the legendary bear that resides in the forest. Especially on the far right. Nah! I think she'll be fine. Just as long as she follows my orders of not eating the honey for me."
Far-Right of the Forest...
{Caulifla continues to walks right, while rubbing her growling stomach}
"Grrr! Crap! I'm starting to feel hungry? I just ate a few minutes ago! How am I hungry!? Maybe those donuts and buns were not that all filling to me. That baker needs to up his game on these goodies if I want to stay full!" [Smells something good] "Hm...Something smells...great. Like there's...porridge?" [Runs out of the forest, into an open area with a large cabin] "Whoa! There's a cabin on the right side of this forest? Renso didn't tell me of other Saiyans being here. Or maybe this is all a trick for me to get distracted?" [Smells more of the porridge] "mmm! But that smell is just too good to ignore. I might as well go in this cabin for a little snack. He He He!" [Walks into the cabin]
Caulifla goes into the cabin, seeing the large area. The living room is bigger than the one Renso has, the chairs are structured differently, and the smell is stronger on the inside than the outside. Caulifla's stomach growls louder from the strong smell of porridge in the kitchen. Caulifla looks at the kitchen, which is bigger than Renso's kitchen in his cabin. She drools from the thought of how porridge will look to her. She quickly walks into the kitchen, searching for the porridge through her nose. She sniffs for the food until she stands in front of a large rectangular table. She sees three different-sized bowls of porridge, one with a different color. Her stomach growls louder than the last time, meaning that it's time for her to eat. Caulifla can't choose which one to pick out of the three.
She starts by looking at the one in a big yellow bowl. She stares at how the porridge looks. Having berries and maple syrup mixed in is all that she needs to do to know how good it is going to be in her mouth. She picks up a spoon, scoops a helpful portion of porridge, and shoves it in her mouth. Once she does that, Caulifla's face turns from delightfully happy to be in pain from the boiling heat of the porridge. She spits it out immediately, saying to herself how hot that porridge was. "That almost burned my tongue off, man! Damn! I'll wait for that to cool down a little. There's the other two to try out" said Caulifla, as she goes for the second bowl of porridge. This one has a blue-colored bowl and the same berries and syrup but has a bit of banana in it. She doesn't get who would put bananas in porridge, but she does not care about it at all. She uses the same spoon to scoop up a healthy portion of porridge and shoves it in her mouth. Instead of feeling hotness in her mouth, Caulifla's face turns blue from the sheer coldness of the porridge. She spits that one out, too, after feeling its quick cold touch. "Dammit! That one is too cold! I'll heat it later, but I have to make sure if this last one is anything different" said Caulifla, as she goes for the last bowl. This one has a green-colored bowl and the same berries and syrup on the porridge. The only major difference is this bowl has crushed-up cookies mixed in. This made Caulifla more curious about what it will taste like. She does the same method from the other two bowls of porridge and scoops the porridge up. She puts it in her mouth, tasting a good amount of sweetness, crunch, and gooey feel. This is warm and just right for her to finish. As for the other two bowls she had tried, she fixed those up. The large yellow bowl was cooled down by adding some ice, while the medium blue bowl was put in a microwave for a bit of warmth before both of them were eaten real quick.
After eating three bowls worth of porridge, Caulifla rubs her comically round stomach in pleasure. She has never felt this full in minutes. She walks carefully to the living room area for a nice seat on one of these three chairs. She looks at the big one with yellow designs. She thinks that the chair will hold her gut size and weight. She sits on the chair, but after a few butt wiggles, Caulifla feels uncomfortable sitting in this one. It's too hard for her to feel settled. She leaves the chair to the medium blue chair with teal-colored cushions. Maybe this chair will be the one for her. Caulifla sits on the chair, feeling its soft cushions, but the problem with this one is that it was too soft for her to feel the right amount of plush. She leaves the chair and goes for the last one. It's a slightly small green chair with one cushion on the bottom sitting part. Caulifla sits on this chair, feeling just right. A few minutes had passed and Caulifla feels great from her nap. She leaves the chair...or so she thinks. She feels her butt is stuck on something and when she turned around, she sees the small green chair griping on her butt. She tries to shake it off, but nothing worked. She does what she can do to it: She breaks it by jumping to the floor with her butt. The chair breaks, allowing Caulifla to be free from her trap. The Saiyan girl feels tired, even after a short nap like that. She looks at the bedroom area, thinking of sleeping there for the day.
She enters the room, seeing three different beds in front of her. She starts with the big one with yellow sheets. She sits on it, only to sink a bit further into it. This one is a bit too soft for her to sleep. She tries the one with the blue sheets, sitting on it. When she feels it, she can see that this bed has some bumps in it. She doesn't like bumpy beds during her sleep. She sees the small green bed, being the last one for her to test. She sits on it, feeling the right mixture of bumpy and soft. This is the "Just Right" bed for her. Caulifla lays under the green sheets, ready for her sleep to begin. Throughout her visit to this cabin, she forgot about the honey objectives for Renso. Maybe she'll find the honey after her sleep is over. A couple of hours later, everything seems to be peaceful for the little Saiyan girl, until the visitors of the cabin return. Outside of the cabin are three bears. The tallest is a chubby bear with three bangs hanging over his forehead. He makes a nervous smile from the catch of fish in the morning. He looks down to see the medium-sized bear. This one is a skinny bear with spiky hair and one bang hanging over his forehead. He grabs a hold of the net, containing the fish they had caught. Next to him and the net is the last member of the bear trio. This bear is a female with long brown hair in a ponytail. Her bang is hanging over the right side of her head, as she shyly looks away from the two. "Come on, Bear Kale. That was a good catch and you didn't get angry. This is a good step up from what happened the last time" said Bear Cabba, as he smiles at Bear Kale. Bear Limo, the large bear, opens the door, only to see something shocking.
"AHHH! Guys! Our food has been eaten!" [Points at the three empty bowls of porridge]
"What!?" [Runs into the cabin, examining the bowls] "How is this possible!? I'd locked the door before we left! Besides, who could eat a bowl of cold porridge!?"
"You do." [Shyly looks at Bear Cabba]
Y-Yeah, because I like my food to be cold."
"I-It doesn't matter if that person ate your cold porridge! Who could eat my hot porridge without waiting for it to cool down first!?" [Upsettingly looks at his empty bowl]
"I don't know. Bear Kale's bowl was the only one to have a normal temperature, yet it still got eaten."
"Heeee! M-My food! I-It got eaten! N-Now how are we going to have our breakfast!?" [Shakes in fear]
"Don't worry, Bear Kale. We still have the fish and will eat them on our chairs."
"Uh, Bear Cabba? Our chairs have been touched."
"What!? Again!?" [Runs in the living room] "Who!?"
"This person must have sat in my chair for a second and left. It's still a crime for sitting in my favorite chair."
"And my chair has been touched!? I can see the butt print on it, because of how soft the cushion is!"
"W-Wait. W-Where is my chair?"
"I-I see it. In the middle of the room, but...i-in pieces."
[Sees her broken chair] "AHHHH! My chair!" [Shakes in fear a bit more]
"Bear Kale? Stay calm! We don't want you going all out on a rampage. We remember of how that went down the last time."
"This visitor sat on our chairs and ate our porridge. What will he or she do next? Sleep on our beds!?"
"uh, Bear Cabba?" [Looks at the bedroom door open] "Our bedroom."
"What about our bedroom!?" [Looks at the bedroom] "Oh crap! He or she is in there!" [Runs in the bedroom]
{Bear Cabba, Bear Limo, and Bear Kale walk in the bedroom, seeing their unmade beds}
"Crap! This visitor is one lazy son of a bitch!" [Angrily looks at his bed] "My bed wasn't that good for his back to relax!? It's just a few bumps! What's wrong with a couple of bumps!?"
"Y-You can say that again. My bed is perfectly soft as is. Who couldn't sleep in this bed?" [Sadly looks at his bed]
"Hm?" [Sees her bed and 'the visitor' under the sheets] "Guys? I-I've found our visitor." [Slowly, but shyly walks over to the bed]
"He or she is here?" [Walks over to Bear Kale's bed, seeing the visitor] "Lift the sheet, Bear Kale."
"W-What!?"
"Lift the sheet! We'll show this visitor to not mess with our stuff again! Let's give him or her a scare." [Smiles sinisterly]
"O-Okay, but let's not hurt him or her that much, Bear Cabba. He or she was just lost and needed someplace to stay."
"I-I feel scared about this. Why do I have to lift the sheets?"
"Because this is your bed! Now, do it!"
"A-Alright! H-here goes." [Lifts the sheets, seeing Caulifla] "AHHH! It's a Saiyan!"
"Huh?" [Opens her eyes, blinking them] "What was that?" [Sits up] "I just have the best dream. What the-AHHH! Freaks!" [punches Bear Kale in the face]
Bear Cabba and Bear Limo become offended after Caulifla punched Bear Kale in the face from fear. She looks at the other two bears, terrified of why they are here. "Because this is our cabin, visitor from North City! Why did you eat our porridge and sat on our chairs without permission!?" said Bear Cabba, as he walks close to Caulifla, who just crosses her arms in anger. She yells at them about being lost and wanting to get something to eat. She ate three porridge bowls, sat on all three chairs, broke Bear Kale's chair, because it was too small on her butt, and slept in her bed because it was the most average one out of the other two. Bear Cabba growls at her for invading their cabin, while they were fishing for fish. "We were going to use that porridge for our fish in the morning! Why do you have to be so gluttonous!?" said Bear Cabba, as he perfectly pokes his finger on Caulifla's chest. This doesn't feel right for the Saiyan girl to be poked in the chest by this bear. She stands up, saying that she has the power to do whatever she wants to do. Whether that be stealing goodies or going into someone's cabin for a little snack or two, Caulifla will get that regardless.
While she and Bear Cabba are arguing, Bear Kale, rubs her damaged nose from the punch. She knows that anger will make her into an absolute monster, but the pain and the fact her food was eaten by this Saiyan girl is enough for her to go in it. On the other hand, her chair being broken by the Saiyan girl and her sleeping in her bed without permission IS enough for her to break her shyness. Bear Limo sees a glimmer of green light from Bear Kale, as he looks down to see her glow more. He quickly backs away from this into a wall out of fear. He already knows what is going to happen. Bear Kale is going to get angry and let out that legendary bear and will kill Caulifla for disturbing their day. Bear Cabba stops his argument with Caulifla to see the growing silhouette behind him. He turns around, seeing Bear Kale towering above him with malice and rage. He turns blue in the face out of fear. He was too late to see this coming but quickly runs over to where Bear Limo is. The both of them can't stop Bear Kale from doing the worst to this Saiyan girl.
"Why the hell are you two over there? Huh? Eh! W-What the hell is that thing!?" said Caulifla, as she sees a different bear from the other three. This one has green fur, spiky hair going upwards to the ceiling, its height of it is about eleven feet tall, and its eyes are as blank as construction paper. Its teeth are larger than the other bears but show a wrathful tension towards the young Saiyan. It looks down, seeing Caulifla shaking in her legs. It smiles while pointing its huge paws at her. "You! You are going to pay for disturbing our day! YOU SAIYAN BITCH!" said Bear Kale in her legendary bear form, as she roars loud enough for the cabin to shake. This allows Caulifla to run out of the bedroom, out of the living room, and out of the cabin. Away from this creature. While Bear Kale is roaring out of rage, Bear Cabba quickly gets on his feet and finds the only thing to calm her down: A really strong tranquilizer dart he got from a stray hunter. He stabs the dart to Bear Kale's back neck, paralyzing her into a statue. A few seconds later, Bear Kale falls unconscious, falling into her bed, breaking it in the process. Her body shrinks back to normal with her hair falling loose from the transformation. Bear Cabba relieves this moment, as he tells Bear Limo of how lucky he was with the dart. "Glad that hunter dropped his darts when he first saw Bear Kale in that form," said Bear Cabba, as he looks back at how Caulifla left the cabin in a hurry. Maybe she learned her lesson and will apologize for her actions?
Three Bears Cabin (Four Weeks Later)...
Four weeks after the incident and the three bears are back to their normal routine. The bears had a non-disturbed breakfast, had their catch of the day, and watched their usual TV. All was well until their door knocked. Bear Kale, who is now calmed from the incident, walks up to the door from her new chair. She shyly thinks of who would be here at their cabin. She opens the door, revealing it to be Caulifla, but in a different outfit. The one dress with pink roses, if I might add. After being scared to death by Bear Kale's monstrous form, she couldn't eat for hours. Renso felt a bit ashamed of his sister's traumatic experience. If only his leg were better, then he should have gotten with her. Caulifla, with a full basket of sweets in her hands, smiles at Bear Kale, who backs away from her in fear. "W-What are you here!?" said Bear Kale, as she covers her face with her paws. Caulifla states that she is sorry for what she had done. "Me being gluttonous, needy, and rude was all that I could think about. I was like that because my mother was the same way. She was a tough Saiyan, who bullies everyone to get her needs. I wanted to be like her since I look exactly like her. From her hair to her eyes. After I had calmed down from the incident, I started to change for the better. I don't eat sweets, when I feel hungry after a meal, I buy the goodies for Renso, my brother, and I act nice towards the other Saiyans. What I'm trying to say to you is...I'm sorry...and thank you" said Caulifla. She continues by saying that if Bear Kale didn't scare the hell out of her, then she wouldn't be like this right now. Bear Kale, although confused, agrees with this statement. She has been feared as the Legendary Bear, but having Bear Cabba and Bear Limo by her side, she feels somewhat controlled. Maybe having a Saiyan friend will help it more? Bear Kale accepts the apology, allowing Caulifla to enter their cabin. The bears have a good time with the now kind Saiyan girl, playing games and talking to one another. If they were still vengeful towards her, then killing will still be on their minds. But gladly for this ending, they were kind enough to accept Caulifla's apology. The story ends with Caulifla leaving the bear's cabin, saying to them of coming back someday. She walks through the forest, twirling in her new dress, feeling great things are about to happen. All it took for her to be nice and cute was for a legendary bear scaring her s* off.
The end.