Mistletoe Mischief
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Tex Nolan is out of control and Andrea Garnett is pissed. AU; As the River Runs Universe. Written for the 2021 TLS Holiday Fest. Installment 7 of the Holiday Pictures Series and featuring the mistletoe hat.
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Andrea was sitting on the couch tapping her toe when Tex and Liam entered the house. Liam appeared oblivious to his mother's mood as he ran through the entryway without removing his mud-caked shoes, shouting with excitement. "Mom! Mom! We saw a frog! And a pelican! And a crocodile!"
"A crocodile?" Andrea asked, some of her annoyance replaced with concern.
"Nothing to be concerned with, Red," Tex replied as he dropped their bags in a pile. He ruffled Liam's hair. "Go take your shower and then you can tell Mom all about our camping trip."
"Okay, Dad." And, with that, Liam disappeared down the hall.
Ignoring his wife's glower, Tex threw himself into the love seat, dropping his equally muddy boots onto the coffee table. "Never again, Red. I am done for. I'm too damn old to be chasing after a half dozen nine-year-olds. Next time you can play scout leader while I go out with the girls for facials."
"Mmm-hmmm." Andrea sat, arms crossed, toe having resumed its tapping. "Was there something that you wanted to tell me? Something that you forgot to mention before you left to go camping?"
Tex wrinkled his nose, considering the question for a moment. "Nope."
Andrea shut her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. "I will rephrase. Would you like to explain to me how the holiday cards that I personally approved and stuffed into envelopes before making the horrific mistake of asking you to mail them transformed into these?"
With that, Andrea tossed several cards onto the coffee table. Tex picked one up, admiring the photograph. He and Liam were wearing their cameo bucket hats, which had been decorated with strands of plastic mistletoe stapled on haphazardly. The picture caught them tickling Andrea, who stood in the middle of the picture, head thrown back as she laughed. To Tex's right, Kat was lifting a bucket of water, clearly preparing to dump it over his head. Tex turned the card slightly, noticing the adorable smudge of dirt on Andrea's nose for the first time.
Tex tossed the card back to the table, grinning. "Great picture, isn't it? Maybe Ray should make a career change."
Andrea took a deep breath, her eyes closing and then reopening to pin him with her I-am-very-unhappy-with-you look. "Those cards went to every family under my command. That's thousands of people who were supposed to get tasteful cards in blue and white wishing them a happy holiday and who instead got..."
"A picture that perfectly represents our family," Tex interrupted.
"Tex..."
Hearing that note in his wife's voice, Tex caved. "Don't worry, Red. I only replaced the ones going to close friends."
But Andrea obviously knew him too well because she immediately demanded, "And by close friends you mean?"
"Nobody outside the Nathan James," Tex assured her.
Andrea sat back, shoulders sagging. "Thank goodness. I was already wondering how I was going to explain sending that to the President of the United States."
"Actually," Tex began, only to stop when Andrea fixed him with what he liked to term the death glare. "Fine, I thought about it. Howard would have laughed but really, Reiss has no sense of humor. I bet the Commodore laughed himself silly. Who told you?"
"Tom, Mike, Russ, Joe," Andrea began, ticking off her fingers. "Kara even made Danny come with her to apologize in person after she found out that he knew and didn't warn me that you were planning something. Although Green swears that he didn't know any details."
Tex chuckled, wishing he was here for that one. KFG was damn amusing when her feathers were ruffled. Which is why Green popped in earplugs whenever Tex mentioned the plan. Plausible deniability being key. "Spoilsport."
Andrea picked up the picture again, studying it. Then she looked at Tex, eyes narrowing. "You know that I'm going to get even."
Tex grinned. "I'm counting on it."