CW: It's kind of sad and there's self loathing

That night, we rushed out of the dormitory with James's invisibility cloak in hand. He threw it over the four of us, and we all disappeared immediately.

"Awesome," said Sirius.

"Why are you so surprised? We sneak to the kitchens like, every night," James laughed.

"I didn't think it would fit over the four of us," Sirius responded. "Anyway, let's go."

We silently walked out of the dormitory and walked out into the almost empty common room. It was eleven at night, so most people had already gone to bed. We pushed open the portrait of the Fat Lady, much to her confusion, and walked silently through the halls.

"Hey, the Quidditch trials are this Friday," James whispered to Sirius.

"Talk about this later," I whispered back. The four of us walked through the halls until we came to the library. The door was locked, so I drew my wand, and said, "Alohomora."

The door unlocked and we pushed it open. Together, we shuffled through the dark library, and James took the invisibility cloak off us and we split up. I walked through one of the sections, lit my wand, and looked at the spines of the books on the shelf. None of the titles seemed like they'd be talking about Animagus.

There'll be none in the unrestricted section, I thought to myself. I moved quietly to where the restricted section was, feeling a tingle go through my hand that was holding my wand. Then I paused.

I shouldn't be doing this, I thought. This is illegal. They'll go to Azkaban.

But I didn't want to kill anyone else. Or… make them a werewolf. I shook my head, and stepped over the line and walked to the first shelf. I spent almost an hour looking through the entire restricted section, until I saw a book titled: 'So you want to become an Animagus?'

Breathing quietly, I grabbed the book off the shelf and went to find my friends. I eventually found them all looking through books back at the unrestricted section and waved the book around in front of them. James threw the invisibility cloak back on top us. I clutched the book close to my chest, then we walked out of the library.

The moment we stepped through the door, lights started flashing, and there was a loud siren on top of a loud voiceover that boomed, "A BOOK HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM THE LIBRARY — NOT BORROWED."

"Run," Sirius whispered, but then an icy breeze came past us. I peered through the translucent cloak to see the famous Poltergeist of the school — Peeves.

"STUDENTS OUT OF BED!" Peeves laughed. "STUDENTS STEALING BOOKS!"

"Not Peeves!" Peter moaned. "We're done for!"

James put his hand over Peter's mouth, and looked at us with the I-have-an-idea-I-don't-know-if-it-will-work face. He took in a deep breath, then said, in a deep voice, "Peeves. Peeves, it's me, the Bloody Baron. There are no students here. Leave now."

"Oh… I… yes! Of course, Bloody Baron!" Peeves said, flying away quickly.

"Run now before Madam Pince comes," whispered James, and we all rushed back through the halls and to the common room. We walked through silently towards our dormitory, but then I saw someone crying on one of the armchairs. It was Milly Greene from our year.

"You guys go," I whispered to the others, handing Sirius the book. I slipped out from underneath the invisibility cloak and approached Milly. "Hey, are you OK?"

She gasped, shocked to see me, and quickly wiped her eyes, then said, "What do you think, from seeing me like this?"

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Do you… do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm just… I'm just sad," she said, sighing. "A-about Monifa. I wish she never died."

I felt a lump come to my throat. "We all do. Did you know her?"

She nodded. "We were quite close… er, her bestest friends were obviously you and the guys, but every night last year, we met in the library."

I painted on a smile, feeling awful on the inside. "What did you do there?"

"Sometimes we'd talk," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Sometimes we'd just sit there peacefully."

"Wow," I said. "I… I never knew."

"W-were you two a thing?" she asked. "Everyone thought so."

I shook my head. "No, she liked…"

"Who?" she asked, then sighed. "I guess it doesn't really matter anymore, now that she's…"

"You," I said, breathless. "She liked you. I thought she just thought you were pretty or something, but now I know you actually knew each other."

"Really?" Milly pushed one of her golden locks behind her ear. I couldn't tell if she was happy about this or not.

"You would've been a cute couple," I said, sitting down in an armchair next to her. "If you're — into that, of course, I know most girls wouldn't want to—"

"No, it would have been cool," she said, looking into the fire. "Maybe when we were a bit older, of course. But… but I guess that's not really a possibility anymore."

I leaned my head on the back of the armchair. "I'm so sorry."

I really was sorry.

"It's alright," she said. "But what I know is that whoever that werewolf was who killed her… I'm going to tear them apart with my bare hands."

I nodded. "He deserves it." I looked into the fire as well. "I should go. If… if that's alright with you…?"

"It's fine," she said, looking at me and smiling sadly.

I forced a smile back, then rushed up the steps to the dormitory, to find Sirius, Peter and James having some sort of party.

"I'M GONNA BE A LION! LIKE GRYFFINDOR!" James screamed.

"I WANNA BE A DINOSAUR!" Sirius yelled. The two of them were bouncing on their beds excitedly, shouting across the room to each other.

"Is this about your Animagus animals?" I asked, trying to act normally. "You've got to make your choice really carefully, you can't change it later."

"How do you know this?" Peter asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I asked Professor McGonagall last year if she was able to change her animal. Have you guys looked through the book?"

"We've read the first page," said James. "It said to have the animal you will be pre-chosen. So that's what we're doing now!"

I grabbed the book and read. "You need to be skilled in Transfiguration and Potions. So study hard in those classes. Before you can do any other step, you have to keep a mandrake leaf in your mouth from one full moon until the next."

"What!?" cried James, leaping off his bed. "We can't spit it out?"

"If it exits your mouth at any second you have to try again on the next full moon," I read.

"OK, so on this full moon coming, we put them in our mouths," said Sirius. "Then what?"

"You have to find a small crystal vial that receives the pure rays of the moon, and put your leaf in there plus a bit of your own hair," I read.

"How are we meant to keep a leaf in our mouth for a full month, though?" Peter asked. "Surely that's impossible."

"And where would we even get a mandrake leaf?" James asked.

"Herbology greenhouses, obviously," Sirius explained.

"OK, so when we have Herbology next we find a way to take one," said James. "What even are mandrakes, though?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's a plant which is an antidote to anyone who has been cursed or transfigured. It's also dangerous — it's scream can lead to death."

My three best friends were all looking at me blankly, then Sirius laughed.

"With that sort of explanation, Remus, you could be a teacher!" he cried. "But… but do dumb it down a bit, please."

"It's a plant that looks like baby and screams, basically," I told them. The other three nodded in understanding. "I think we learn about them straight away in Herbology this year, according to some older Ravenclaws… I was studying with them near the end of last year, just before the exams, and I was asking them about what second year was like, and…"

"OK, we don't care about your study buddies," said James. "But that's good — let's get those leaves."

"Double Herbology with Hufflepuff today!" Sirius cried. "Now's our chance."

It was Wednesday morning, and we were all wolfing down our breakfast, preparing to steal the mandrake leaves.

"This is a mission," said James, rolling up his sleeves.

"You should probably get a few each," I told them. "Have a stash ready for if you fail. Also, I was reading further into this morning and… and becoming a you-know-what is dangerous. Incredibly dangerous. I don't want you guys to get hurt… just for me."

"Remus," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "You know how much this would help."

"I do, but… but I don't want any of you to get hurt… or go to Azkaban, this is illegal…" I said, my voice shaking slightly.

"It'll be OK," said Sirius. "Stop worrying."

"I'll never stop… worrying," I laughed, breathing in deeply

"Let's go, class in going to start soon," said Peter, and together, we walked out of the castle to the greenhouses, and lined up outside with the other Gryffindor and Hufflepuff second-years.

Professor Sprout marched up to us, and said, "You've been promoted to Greenhouse three!"

She led the class to one of the other greenhouses, everyone chatting in excitement. She led us into the greenhouse and we all grabbed one the coats hanging off the wall each. Professor Sprout instructed us to all take a pair of earmuffs from her table. James and Sirius both grabbed a pink and fluffy pair each, grinning at each other.

"Today we'll be repotting Mandrakes," Professor Sprout told us.

"Told you," I whispered to the others.

"Who can explain to me what mandrakes are?"

Sirius and James both shot their hand up, jumping up and down, trying to get their hands higher than each other. Sirius, who was taller, knocked James over, who then grabbed Sirius's arm and brought him down too.

Professor Sprout covered her face with her hands. "I don't get paid enough for this shi- Ugh, yes, Mr Potter, and Mr Black?"

"IT'S A BABY PLANT!" James and Sirius yelled in unison, standing up.

"Er — yes, at the moment, the Mandrakes are in a similar shape… to a baby," Professor Sprout explained. "I might have given you some points if you hadn't been so silly. Anyway, they are currently in one of the two pots in front of you. Your job today is to get them out, put them in the new pot, and fill it with fresh soil. Alright, everyone, earmuffs on. Take them out in three, two, one!"

Everyone tugged the little bits of root sticking out of the pots, and even through the earmuffs I could hear the most annoying sound. There were a few leaves on the little gremlin child I was holding. I tugged them off, and handed them to Sirius. The others took leaves, too, and we were all set.