Thank you for the reviews, follows and favourites. I love reading them and they mean a lot to me. Thank you to the guests who I can't message directly.

A huge thanks to Simona for the advice and suggestions that helped improve this chapter so much! You're insight is greatly appreciated.

Jem

I was hoofing it home from track practice. Coach had worked us pretty hard so my muscles were complaining but I wanted to get home before Darry.

It had been almost a month since he had lost his roofing gig and the stress was really getting to him. He was taking any hours that the warehouse would give him, but that was only a few every couple of days. He'd also picked up a job at the supermarket on the west side as a bag boy.

The idea of my big strong brother bagging groceries for a bunch of Socs made me sick to my stomach. I'd heard him mention to Soda the sneers that he received at work, like he wasn't good enough to pick up their garbage, let alone touch their groceries. They'd been speaking quietly thinking that I was sleeping, but the anger in Darry's voice had carried through our thin walls. Those Socs didn't know how hard Darry worked or that he was doing anything he could to keep his family together. They just looked at him like he was trash. Darry told me that all he cared about was the paycheck and to stop worrying my head about such things. Still the lines around his mouth were deeper.

Soda was working overtime everyday, and it felt like we never got to see him. He'd drag himself home every evening and not have the energy to do much more than eat and fall into bed. The house seemed colder without Soda bouncing around the place.

Even with both of them working themselves to the death, we were slowly sinking. We'd received at least two red labeled envelopes this last week. I'd seen them on the kitchen table before Darry scooped them up out of my sight. He was still trying to protect me, any small way he could.

I dropped my backpack off in my room before searching the pantry for something for dinner. I swear we might have had more cobwebs in here than food. I settled for a can of beans and a can of mixed veggies. I knew we still had a few pieces of bread left, so we could have beans on toast. Hopefully Darry or Soda would have enough cash on them to go to the store for some essentials.

The familiar rumble of our old truck caught my attention and I reached the kitchen doorway in time to see Darry trudge in the front door. His face was drawn and his eyes were void, though he perked up a bit when he noticed me watching.

"Hey kiddo," he smiled at me, though it didn't really reach his eyes. "How was practice?"

"Good. Coach had us running ragged today." I said laughing lightly.

Darry's lips twitch upward. "I'm gonna go get cleaned up, then I'll help with dinner." I didn't think he really needed to wash up after just bagging groceries, but it was what he'd done everyday before so I think he needed the routine of it.

I followed him down the hallway. "Uh, Darry. We need to get some groceries."

Darry splashed some water on his face and paused about to speak when there was a knock at the door.

We both froze and stared at each other knowing that none of our friends ever knocked.

Darry straightened his shoulders. "Can you get that Pony? I gotta change my shirt."

I nodded and moved to the door. Pushing it open, I saw a small woman with brown hair pulled back.

"Hello Ponyboy." Mrs. Wilson, our social worker said.

I gulped. "Hi Mrs. Wilson." I couldn't move. It was too early for our visit and she usually called ahead to make sure that my brothers were there.

"Is Darrel home?" She asked.

Darry placed his hand on my shoulder as he stepped up behind me. "Hello Mrs. Wilson. We didn't expect you today."

"Hello Darrel, may I come in?" She asked with a tight smile. Darry nodded his head and gently pushed me towards the couch in order to clear the way.

I followed his lead and sat down heavily on the couch, watching as our social worker entered our home. I sure was thankful that I'd been cleaning the house every day after school. It wasn't something that was needed daily but I'd wanted to feel like I was helping in some way.

My leg started bouncing on it's own and I began biting my nails as Darry offered her a glass of water. I sure wanted a smoke, but that wouldn't look too good.

Mrs. Wilson sat down in Darry's armchair and opened her file folder. "Darrel, I'm not sure if you're aware but part of my monthly checkups for your custody of your brothers is that I have to contact your place of employment. I spoke to your supervisor, a Mr. Bill Franklin."

All the colour drained from Darry's face as he sat down beside me.

Mrs. Wilson's lips were drawn into a thin line. "I can see that you're probably not surprised to hear that I found that you've been let go from your roofing job."

Darry's jaw clenched and he shook his head.

Mrs. Wilson sighed and frowned. "I also made other contacts and found out that you are late on your electric, gas and water bill."

"I paid the electric bill yesterday." Darry answered quickly. Mrs. Wilson acknowledged this and made note of it. "I got a job at the A&P down on Carlton St. and I'm still working at the warehouse."

Mrs. Wilson made another note in her file. "Am I right in assuming that the pay is less?" She didn't look happy about asking. Mrs. Wilson had always been nice to us. I'd always thought that she was impressed by Darry working so hard to take care of us.

Darry didn't answer her. He simply shifted his weight from side to side and wouldn't meet her eyes. Mrs. Wilson nodded like his silence told her what she needed to know.

"May I look around?" Mrs. Wilson asked and Darry nodded but his shoulders tightened. He clasped his hands between his knees, but he sent me a smile.

"It's okay, Pone. They always come and do check ins." He was trying so hard to reassure me, but all I could do was watch Mrs. Wilson move through the cupboards in the kitchen. She was tutting and mumbling to herself as she looked through our bare pantry and icebox.

She reentered the living room with a look of so much regret on her face that my heart started pounding in my chest. She moved her hands nervously over her folder, playing with the edge of the paper. She sat down in the armchair and watched us. I didn't understand the expression on her face. Then she sighed heavily, resigned.

"Darrel, I'm very sorry about this, but based on the outstanding bills and the lack of food in the house I need to remove Ponyboy from the household." It was as if someone had just nailed me with a 2x4.

Darry was on his feet so fast that my head spun. "But I have a job and I'm still looking for something that pays better. Soda's been working overtime. We'll have his paycheck to tide us over tomorrow."

"Darrel, I do not want to do this. I believe that you are a good guardian to your brothers." Mrs. Wilson hugged her folder to herself. "I spoke to my supervisor this morning in defense of you. To give you more time. But he believes that because of the outstanding bills the best thing for Ponyboy is to be removed."

"No, he needs us. He needs his family!" Darry shouted, his eyes desperate. He stepped in front of me. I stood up and moved closer to his back lifting my head enough to see her over his shoulder. Some part of me thought that I could be safe if I just stayed near Darry, that tiny Mrs. Wilson wouldn't be able to take me away from Superman. I was starting to shake though and for a moment I thought my legs wouldn't hold me.

"You will be able to request custody the moment that you are able to provide a home for him."

"This is ridiculous! He has a home!" Darry boomed, taking a step towards her. Both Mrs. Wilson and I jumped at the sound and she yelped in surprise. He shot me a look over his shoulder, his icy eyes softened as they took me in. Then he took in a deep calming breath and turned back to say in a quieter tone but no less firm. "I can take care of my brothers. Why don't you go take care of the kids from this neighbourhood who are getting beat black and blue by their folks?"

I winced as the image of Johnny's face sprang to mind. The state had never taken care of him when his parents had chased him out of their home bruised and aching, Darry had.

Just then a man knocked lightly and stepped into the house. He was tall and broad shouldered though not as big as Darry. He eyed Darry as I'd seen cops look at Dally. As if he was a thug that was going to snap at any moment.

Mrs. Wilson gestured. "This is my colleague, Mr. Johnson, my supervisor asked him to accompany me to ensure that there weren't any issues." I inched even closer to Darry. They'd known that they were going to take me, they'd sent her with reinforcements. Darry's expression darkened and I expected him to bark at the man to get out of our house but he remained positioned between me and them.

Since, the state had gotten involved in our lives, the three of us had always understood that the best way for us to stay together was to do as we were asked. We were at their mercy and if ever we disagreed with their decision they could always involve the cops.

Darry's eyes iced over and it was as if a door slammed, closing off all emotions. One moment he was coiled ready to fight and the next it was as if he was empty. I'd seen him look like this before in the days after our parents died. I can remember how he stood there with his hands deep in his pockets, as Soda and I curled together on the sofa, sobbing. His face had betrayed no emotion. He had thought that he needed to be strong for us, that it would be worse if we saw him cry. He clamped down so hard on his feelings that if he even let go a little he'd break. Like he had at the hospital.

"Ponyboy, go pack a bag." Mrs. Wilson instructed.

I jumped, startled when she addressed me. "What? Right now?"

Mrs. Wilson's frown deepened as she gently said. "Yes, we need to leave for the boys home soon."

I looked up at Darry but he was staring straight ahead into space, his hands in fists so tight that his arms were shaking.

"What about Soda? He's at work for another few hours."

Mrs. Wilson shot Mr. Johnson a look and worried her lip, before answering in a small voice. "I need to get you to the boys home by 6 o'clock, do you think Sodapop can come now?"

Darry's face didn't change but he moved towards the phone. "I'll give him a call." His voice was dull.

"Go on, Ponyboy. You need to pack." Mrs. Winston said softly.

I looked helplessly between Mrs. Wilson apologetic frown and Mr. Johnson's blank look of disinterest. My stomach dropped as I realized what Darry had seen, that there was nothing we could do to stop this. I could barely lift my feet as I moved down the hall.

My father's old suitcase was in the hall closet. I dragged it into my room.

For a long moment, I stood in the center looking around at the space Soda and I shared. A shiver ran through me as I thought that I wouldn't be sleeping here with Soda's warmth beside me tonight.

Picking through the mess that covered all surfaces, I was able to shove my clothes beside the suitcase. I threw in my sketchbook and a few of my favourite books, including Johnny's Gone with the Wind. I also grabbed a few photos; one of my parents, one of our gang and one of me and my brothers. I couldn't look at them right now, knowing the image of our arms around each other would shatter any control I still had.

I moved slowly, folding each item carefully, sometimes even twice before putting them in the case. I picked up Soda's dirty DX shirt. It was covered in grease. I gripped it in my hands, as if I could hold onto Soda. If I could drag this process out long enough then I could see Sodapop. I needed him right now. I was starting to tremble again and my eyes were hot.

When I couldn't refold the clothes any more, I moved and grabbed my toiletries from the bathroom. The suitcase closed with a final click that made me flinch.

I moved out into the living room dragging the suitcase behind me. Darry was standing there staring at the photograph of our parents on their wedding day.

"Ready?" Mrs. Wilson said softly and moved towards the door.

"Soda?"

"We can't wait any longer for him." She said softly.

I looked over at Darry waiting for him to move, but he was frozen, his face a cold mask. Every muscle was locked in place, he didn't even face me as I entered the room. I blinked the tears back, trying to stop myself from screaming.

"Bye Darry," I reached out and touched his arm.

He whirled around suddenly and pulled me into his arms, his cold control evaporating. I clutched the back of his shirt and his arms held me so tightly that I could almost not breath. I buried my nose in his chest and the fight to keep the tears back failed as Darry's chest heaved against me.

"Please," he said over my head to Mrs. Wilson. "Please, don't take him." My proud brother was pleading with this woman. I bit back a sob.

When she didn't answer him, he buried his face in my hair and held me even tighter. "I'm sorry, Pone." He pulled back and brushed my hair back, for once I didn't mind. "I'm gonna fix this. You'll be home soon enough, alright?" His eyes were full of tears, but they didn't fall.

"What about Soda?" I hoped that he was on his way, that any moment he'd crash through our front door and run straight for me.

"Steve said that he was out on a tow, I'm not sure when he'll get here." Darry had never looked so helpless and lost before. I was so used to my always in charge brother that seeing him this scared physically hurt.

"I'm sorry boys, but we need to go." Mr. Johnson said without sounding at all sorry. Mrs. Wilson just hugged her folder closer to her, the frown lines around her eyes seemed more pronounced, but she didn't disagree with him.

Darry set his jaw. "Here kiddo, let me help you." He picked up my suitcase and put a hand on my shoulder. I leaned into his touch, the pain in my chest growing at the thought that he'd have to let go soon.

Mr. Johnson stepped in front of us at the door. "Sorry, but you can't follow him any farther." He looked at Darry as if daring him to argue.

For a heartbeat, I thought Darry was gonna take off and belt this guy in the face. That he would forget that the best way to get me back was to comply now. Glory, I wanted to take a crack at this guy's stupid mug.

"What are you scared I'm gonna take my brother and run?" Darry snapped with such menace that I wondered if the thought had occurred to him.

"It's just policy, Darrel." Mrs. Wilson tried to soothe.

Darry clenched his teeth so hard that I wondered if he was gonna chip one. Then he put my suitcase down and wrapped his arms around me again.

"I need Soda," I whispered and he squeezed me hard, looking out the door as if he could will our brother here.

He shook his head and swallowed hard. "I'm not sure if he's gonna make it."

I was sobbing now, my breath hitching as I tried to gain control. My heart was pounding so loudly in my ears. "Please Darry."

"I'm sorry, Ponyboy. I'm so sorry." Darry's eyes were bright and desperate, his arms trembling with a barely contained control.

He stood back and pressed a kiss into my hair.

"I love you little buddy. I'll get you home." Darry's voice had regained some of its strength and I knew that he would do whatever it takes to get me back. But what if it wasn't enough? Could this be that last time that I was home? Or the last time that I saw Darry. Would I ever see Soda again?

I bit down on the despair that swelled in my chest, if I let go then it would consume me.

Mrs. Wilson stepped up and started to guide me out the door. I was grateful that it was her and not Mr. Johnson. She at least seemed sorry about the whole thing. Darry might have lost his mind if that man went to touch me.

I bit down on my lip and was able to slow my breathing by the time we reached the car. Mr. Johnson must have put my suitcase in the trunk already, so I just wrapped my arms around myself and held on tight.

I watched Darry standing on the porch, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. The memory of him standing like that in the hospital flashed in my mind and it took everything that I could not to jump out of the car and run to him like I had then.

The rumble of the engine caught my attention and it hit me that Soda wasn't gonna make it. A sob welled up from deep in my soul and I closed my eyes picturing my brother's smiling face.

I could see how he looked with the moonlight from our window casting shadows across his face when he calmed me after a nightmare. I could picture how he'd grin when he teased Darry or Steve, or how he'd throw his head back and laugh at Two-Bit. My heart called out for him.

The car started to back out of the driveway and I felt the hot tingling of tears leak out past my eyelids. I clenched my teeth to swallow a wail that was bubbling up.

Soda wasn't here to stop this nightmare.

Suddenly the door was wrenched open and the car slammed to a stop half onto the road and still half in the driveway. Mr. Johnson bit back a curse.

Next thing I knew, Soda was crouching into the back seat and throwing his arms around me. I could feel that he was crying by the way that his body shook against mine and he buried his face into my hair.

I held onto him, never wanting to let go. I'd completely given up being tuff as I started to sob all over again.

"Shh, baby. I'm here." He pet my hair and rubbed circles over my back. "Sorry it took me so long, but I'm here now."

I buried my head in his shirt and breathed in the familiar sent of grease and aftershave that was so Soda.

"They're taking me away, Soda." His arms tightened around me. "I don't wanna go."

He placed his hands on my shoulders and met my eyes. "This is just for now, honey. Darry and I ain't gonna stop 'til you're home. So, you be good and watch your back." He wiped at a few tears that trickled down my cheeks. "And please try to eat, I know how you get when you're upset." His face crumbled and he tugged me against his chest again.

We sat there huddled awkwardly in the back seat, neither of us loosening our grip as if the slightest space would tear us apart. I didn't care if Mr. Johnson was huffing in the front seat. Honestly the world could have come crashing down around us and I wouldn't have let Soda go.

"I'm sorry, Sodapop." Mrs. Wilson's voice came from over his shoulder. "We need to go."

Soda pulled back and discreetly wiped his eyes before turning to look at her. His face hardened as he glared at her. "Where are you taking him?" His voice was no longer comforting but hard as stone.

Mrs. Wilson took a step backwards at the rage directed towards her, but she remained firm. "I can't give you that information Sodapop, but he'll be taken care of. I'll come by and give you a contact number after one week."

"One week?!" Soda snapped and I put my hand on his arm to stop him from diving outta the car. I didn't want him to move away from me or get arrested for jumping our social worker. Soda's eyes were wide and dark when he looked at me before turning back to her. "He'll be alone for a whole week?" His voice was barely above a whisper, but there was a threatening edge to them that hinted at the tuff greaser he really was.

"Your birthday is in a month, and you have employment to take care of yourself. It doesn't make sense to remove you too." Mrs. Wilson was trying to be kind but her eyes kept darting over to Mr. Johnson who was glowering from the driver's seat.

Soda's eyes darkened and I held my breath for the impending explosion, when Darry appeared behind her.

"Come on Pepsi." Darry said tiredly.

"No, Darry." Soda began but stopped when he saw the hollow look in Darry's eyes. He knew as well as I did that Darry wouldn't let me go unless he had no other choice. Soda clutched onto me desperately.

"We'll fix this honey. We're gonna get you home before you can even miss us." He ruffled my hair. "Well, you'll miss Darry and me, but a break from Two-Bit might be nice." He grinned though it didn't really reach his eyes.

I gave a watery chuckle. "Or Steve." That made his smile widen before falling away and tears filled his eyes again.

"We'll call you as soon as we can." He said pressing a kiss into my hair and I could feel him biting back another sob. All I could do was nod. "I love you, Pony."

Then he was gone.

As the car rolled down the street, I watched them standing close together with Darry's arm over Soda's shoulder for as long as I could.

It was only when they'd vanished from sight that I'd realized that I'd never said I love you back.