It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. Everyone was whispering and looking around. My face felt hot and it was like I was at the trial again.
They don't know it's you, they don't know it's you, they don't know it's you, chanted through my head, but I still felt sick. I looked over at the Slytherin table to see Ada Blanchet smirking at me, and then the nausea I was feeling quickly turned to anger.
The git! I thought. How could she do this? I would have to confront her about this later. My mind was racing, and when the Head Girl started speaking again I hung onto every word she was saying.
"It might not be true, guys!" she cried. "Someone may have just started a rumour to try and scare everyone! Please remain calm, we just wanted to come up to address this, alright? I-I hope you all can understand — I don't think it's true! And you can always count on your Head Girl!"
"And Head Boy!" said the Head Boy, smiling. The two of them walked back down to their tables, leaving the school in a fearful silence.
"So that's your big plan is it? Give me mega anxiety like that? Think that's funny, do you?"
"I didn't even say your name," said Ada, sounding bored. We were in the Owlery, I'd gone to send my daily owl to my parents and bumped into her there. It had been only two days since she'd spread panic across Hogwarts, and late afternoon on a Thursday.
I felt my hands clench into fists angrily. "What you did is… is… not OK."
"And you killing my sister is OK?" she snapped.
I took in a deep breath, feeling my head swim. "I've told you a million times, I'm so, so, sorry. I —"
"Stop saying you're sorry," she said through gritted teeth. "That doesn't fix anything! She was my childhood best friend! I could have fixed my relationship with her… ugh, I've already explained this to you, but you… you wouldn't understand."
"I guess I'll never understand you," I said, looking down. "But just so you know… you're not the only one who lost someone."
"Oh no, the monster's moping around… poor, poor little beast!" she put on a mock sad face, then yelled, "You were literally the monster who killed her, you filthy half-breed!"
"You have every right to be angry," I said, noticing my fists had unclenched. "You're right. I am a monster, and a murderer. And I killed your sister. But to be honest, I don't think you fear me, which is surprising since I am a murderer and a monster."
"What makes you think that?" she asked, folding her arms.
"Well, if you feared me, then you wouldn't be talking to me like this," I said. "You'd probably just run away. So, you know that I killed your sister, yet you talk to me so calmly?"
"I am not calm! I am really angry!"
"Sorry, I mean without fear, you know?" I said quickly. "You don't seem to be scared."
"What!?" she said abruptly.
"Why do you treat me like shit if you're not even scared of me?" I said, looking her dead in the eye.
"Because of what you did!" she hissed. "And you know what you did!"
"You originally said you were only angry because, as I distinctly remember, I'm a monster and I'm breathing the same air as you. Then you later said that you wished you could have fixed your relationship with Monifa and you were angry that you couldn't because of what I did," I said, trying to sound calm. "So, your opinion on this keeps changing… you're very hard to read."
She was staring at me angrily, then snapped, "Stay away from me you horrid half-blood, half-breed MONSTER!" She stormed out of the Owlery, leaving me standing there feeling stupid.
"What a conversation," came a voice. I turned around to see Sirius, walking into the Owlery, his hands in the pockets of the leather jacket he was wearing.
"Uh… yeah…" I looked around for a subject change inspiration. Then my eyes landed on the jacket. "Is that jacket new? I've never seen you wear it before."
"Are you keeping track of what I wear now?" he asked.
"No, I'd just never seen you wear it before, it… it looks cool! I was just wondering… sorry, is that a rude thing to ask?" I said, fumbling over my words.
Sirius laughed. "Yes, it's new. Um, Regulus gave it to me… as an early birthday present. Dunno why he didn't just wait for tomorrow…"
"You'll be a teenager tomorrow!" I said, staring at him and finding myself smiling brightly.
"Yes, I am indeed that old," he said, smiling back at me. "Anyway… what the heck was that conversation you had with Ada?"
"I don't get her," I sighed.
"No one does," said Sirius. "She's strange. Monifa was the only person who could really understand her… yet they were so different."
"Yeah," I said. We walked out of the Owlery together, coming out to the sunny grounds of Hogwarts.
"Some people just don't make sense," Sirius shrugged. "Some things just don't make sense, too."
"Like what?" I prompted.
"I don't know," he shrugged, looking down at the grass.
"Anyway, what brought you to the Owlery?" I asked.
"Um, you were taking a long time," he said, his face turning pink. "Er, I was getting worried."
I felt the sides of my mouth curl into a smile. Neither of us looked at each other or spoke as we walked into the castle and took our jackets off, then walked to the common room. I grabbed out my Charms book, some parchment, and a quill and started doing homework.
I wrote half of the essay, but my mind started to drift away, thinking back to that cave, and helplessly killing my own friend. I took in deep breaths, trying to stay calm. It felt like everyone was staring at me.
"You know, I'm gonna go to bed," I said to my friends.
"It's before dinnertime!" cried James. "You can't go to bed now, or you'll die from starvation!"
"I'm tired," I said. "I'll eat tomorrow morning."
I grabbed my homework equipment and rushed up the stairs to the dormitory and lay in bed, slowly drifting off, my mind rushing onto thinking about the full moon, being a werewolf, and killing Monifa… her mum had tried to take her own life because of me… her sister was so upset… all because of me.
"I'M A TEENAGER!"
My eyes burst open, to see Sirius running around the dormitory. It was still dark, so I looked at the clock to see it was just past midnight.
"YOU ALL ARE CHILDREN! BUT NOT ME!" Sirius had grabbed his red and gold tie and was swinging it around like a lasso.
"Sirius!" Peter grumbled. "Not now! Just wait until the morning!"
"It is the morning!" said Sirius, turning on the lights. "I am literally a teenager now, so you must all respect me! I am an elder."
"Go back to sleep, elder," I said, putting my pillow over my face.
"Sirius, we care about your birthday, but not at this time of night!" said James, yawning.
"Plus we have classes today," I groaned. "Turn the light off please!"
"You guys are so rude!" Sirius said. "I am LITERALLY a teenager! You need to respect your elders!"
"We will respect you in the daylight," James said. "Now turn off the light."
"No," said Sirius, returning to his bed. "Turn the light off yourself!"
James let out a long sigh of annoyance, and got up and turned the light off himself, cursing Sirius the whole time.
Our alarm went off at seven o' clock later that morning, and we greeted 'the great elder' with much more enthusiasm now that it was a more reasonable time. We sung him happy birthday as we got changed into our robes, then walked down to the common room. There were some people there, and for every person we saw, we announced to them that it was Sirius's birthday. We walked out to the Great Hall, then we were approached by Sirius's brother, Regulus Black.
"Happy birthday, Sirius," he said. "Why don't you come sit with the other Slytherins for your birthday breakfast? Everyone feels really sorry for you now that I've explained the Sorting Hat made a mistake with you."
Sirius sighed. "Regulus, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm in Gryffindor. I'm also a lot older than you. I'm a teenager. You are literally eleven years old."
"I don't care, Sirius," said Regulus bluntly. "Come sit with the other Slytherins, stop hanging out with trash like this."
I noticed he was eyeing my scratches and second-hand robes.
"Regulus, stop disrespecting your elders!" Sirius said. "I'm going to sit with my Gryffindor friends! Goodbye, child."
He led us over to the Gryffindor table and we sat down, eating breakfast cheerfully.
"My family really can't wrap their heads around the fact that I'm in Gryffindor," Sirius said, shaking his head. "So, I've come to a decision. Instead of feeling ashamed for it, I will embrace it.
"I'll hang up Gryffindor banners around my room and do a sticking charm so they can't take them off. I'll have pictures of muggle girls so they think I'm going out with a muggle girl!"
"Wouldn't you be a bit young to date anyone, let alone some random muggle girl?" I said, crossing my arms.
"Perhaps. But some people are very special," he said, winking. My cheeks heated. Then he raised his pumpkin juice cup. "Toast to me being a teenager and embracing who I am!"
We all lifted our glasses and did a cheers. But I couldn't ignore the huge pit of worry that was rising in me at Sirius's plan… I knew it wouldn't end well for him at all.