Thank you very much to everyone for supportive me and this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Jem

The world flashed by outside the car window, my tears blurring the details until it was only a kaleidoscope of colours and lights. Try as I might, I couldn't stop them from falling. Every time I thought I had it under control, the feeling of Darry holding me tightly or the sound of Soda's voice would come back to me and I would start all over again.

I was no longer sobbing or sniffling at least but the tears were steady like I was a damn faucet that hadn't been tightened all the way.

This was every nightmare that we'd ever had, losing another family member. Who knew how long it would be before I could see them again? I squeezed my eyes tight to stop the next wave from coming. I needed to get myself under control because I didn't want to show up at a boy's home still bawling like a baby. That was the perfect way to put a target on my back. No, I needed to be a tuff greaser like my brothers if I was gonna survive.

I clenched my hands into fists so tightly that they shook and I breathed deeply. My brows that were scrunched together and my lips that had been in a tight line relaxed as I forced the tension away. After a minute I felt in control enough to release my fists. I tried to look disinterested like Dally used to but I think I just succeeded in looking constipated.

I turned my gaze out the window and blinked in surprise.

"Where are we?" I asked, for the first time realizing that nothing outside looked familiar. Instead of the familiar streets that I grew up roaming, I was looking at empty fields.

"We are going to Stillwater." Mrs. Wilson answered. "The Donovan family have agreed to take you in."

"The Donovans?" I repeated, bewilderedly. "I ain't going to a boys' home?"

"No, Ponyboy. The boys' homes in Tulsa are at capacity, so we needed to find another option for you." Mrs. Wilson turned in her seat to smile at me. "The Donovans are a very nice family."

I nodded my head absently and turned back to the window. I didn't think it would be polite to tell her that I couldn't care less what kind of a family the Donovans were, that I just wanted to be taken home to my brothers. So I figured it was best to stay quiet. I was liable to start bawling again too, so I watched as the signs passed by.

Welcome to Stillwater.

I snorted bitterly at the idea. All I wanted was to run as fast as I could in the opposite direction and leave Stillwater in my dust.

"Ponyboy" Mr. Johnson's sharp voice snapped me out of my daze. "I think we should use this time to make the rules clear." He didn't wait for me to answer but continued on. "You are to stay with the Donovans and follow all the rules that they lay out for you. They are very kind to allow you to stay in their home and will be treated with respect."

I blinked at the back of his head, my brows furrowed. He must be used to a different kind of greaser if this was where his speech was starting. My parents had taught me manners and I wasn't about to disgrace their memory by forgetting them, even if I didn't want to be there.

"Two," he continued not waiting for any kind of response from me. "You are not to contact your brothers in any way unless it is authorized by Mrs. Wilson and the Donovans. After you have been at the Donovans for a week then you'll be allowed visitation privileges at the discretion of your foster parents. If there is any evidence that you or your brothers have attempted to bypass this then it could affect further visitation and phone call rights or even future custody hearings. Am I clear?"

My stomach dropped and I had to fight to stop myself from crying all over again. A week. I wasn't gonna be able to see my brothers for a week. I already missed them so much that I thought I was going crazy.

"Ponyboy!" Mr. Johnson snapped, breaking me from my thoughts. "I asked you if I was clear?"

I bit back the urge to bark back at him. I was at the mercy of these people. They had the power to shape my life and I wasn't going to win any battles by losing my temper, even if he deserved it.

"Yeah, I get it." I answered quietly, knowing that if I spoke any louder I'd crack and begin screaming.

The car pulled into the driveway of a red brick house with pristine white shutters. Mrs. Wilson opened the car door and I unfolded myself from the seat.

My eyes traveled up and down the street, taking in the other homes that looked like cookie cutter versions of this one. It wasn't a Soc neighbourhood, the homes were too modest for that, but it wasn't a greaser neighbourhood either. This place was somewhere in between, I suddenly wished that I could show Johnny, he would have gotten a kick out of it. Still my heart called out for a small home with gray paint that used to be white surrounded by a crooked chain link fence.

No matter what anyone said, this was not home.

Mr. Johnson had already pulled my suitcase from the trunk and was standing by the door tapping his foot. As I approached him, my heart started to pick up pace and I stopped my hands from reaching for my pack of smokes by rubbing them down the front of my jeans. I wasn't completely sure that Mr. Johnson wouldn't cuff me upside the head if I lit one, even though I needed the smoke to calm my nerves.

Mrs. Wilson rapped smartly on the front door and we all waited in silence. I studied the hole in the toe of my left shoe. I had told Darry about it a few weeks ago before everything had happened and you'd have thought that I'd gone and made the hole on purpose by the way he griped about it. Then he had taken extra hours at the warehouse and I knew it was to save up for new shoes. My brother Darry was rough and could grumble like nobody's business but he cared deeply, he just had his own way of showing it. I scuffed my foot against the driveway, trying not to picture Darry's face when I realized that the front door had opened.

A petite woman with black hair was talking to Mrs. Wilson. She looked to be around my mom's age and she was smiling widely at me. She had dark eyes that were fixed on my face and I took a step backwards at being studied so intently.

"Ponyboy, I'd like to introduce you to Mrs. Donovan. She will be your foster mother." Mrs. Wilson said, smiling encouragingly.

I reached out and shook her small hand, forcing a smile. "Nice to meet you ma'am."

Her smile widened. "Nice to meet you too, Ponyboy…hmm Ponyboy…. that's a very interesting name." Her eyes didn't move from my face, as she continued to smile at me.

I rubbed my head and kicked the ground again, not able to hold her gaze. "My father was an interesting man." I answered halfheartedly.

"Please, come inside." She waved us all in.

The home was warm and there were fake flowers on various surfaces. It looked like a home in a tv show, as if people didn't really live there. It was too perfect, too staged. Then again maybe most people didn't have three boys and their friends break all the valuables by roughhousing.

I focused on the details as we moved through the rooms; the shiny silver appliances in the kitchen, the dining room table that was set for a meal and the photographs spotting the walls with smiling faces staring back at me. Taking in anything other than the little things would mean having to admit that this was my new home for god knows how long. I couldn't stomach that, not yet.

I knew that Mrs. Donovan was speaking as we moved from room to room, but it was like I was separated by thick glass. The sound was muffled and only snippets were getting through.

This was my new home. This was where I was supposed to live until Darry was able to get me home. In this precisely decorated home that did not seem lived in. There weren't even shoes by the door. At home, though Darry and I put our shoes away when we got home, Soda's could be found kicked off anywhere. It was always a wild hunt in the morning's mad dash to get him out the door for work. On any given day packs of cards, my books or Two-Bit's empty beer bottles could be found scattered around. Still, it was my home.

"Ponyboy, did you hear what I said?" Mrs. Donovan was watching me with an expression that said that she had asked me this question at least once before.

"No, I'm sorry. I was thinking." I mumbled as my ears grew hot. Mr. Johnson was glaring at me disapprovingly but Mrs. Wilson still had that encouraging smile plastered on her face.

Mrs. Donovan just smiled at me again. "I was wondering if you felt up to meeting my son, Daniel?"

I froze, I guess it hadn't occurred to me that they would have kids of their own. That I wasn't gonna be the only one living there. My fingers inched towards my pack of smokes but I stopped myself from pulling one out.

"Sure, that'd be fine." I answered not at all confident that it would be.

She led us down the hallway. She knocked on the door as she pushed it open a crack. "Daniel honey? Come here to meet your new foster brother."

There was a shuffling noise then the door was pulled all the way open revealing the tall form of Daniel Donovan. He couldn't have been much older than me and was tall and thin with a shock of black hair that stood up on edge. He wore a pair of wire framed glasses that he pushed up as he took in the group crowded around his door with disinterest.

"Daniel, this is Ponyboy." Daniel's brows shot up in surprise but he quickly dropped his expression to one of boredom again.

"Hey," he drawled.

I hooked my thumbs in my jeans and lifted my chin. "Hey." I answered. We stood there for a minute both studying each other, neither of us willing to add anything else to the conversation.

Mrs. Donovan beamed and curled her arm around her son. "You'll need to show him around school tomorrow, he's in the grade below you."

Daniel shook his mother's arm off and nodded his head absently, still not looking overly interested in the conversation. She didn't seem fazed by his reaction and simply moved down the hallway. "I'll show you your room Ponyboy. Your's in the last room on the left, my other son Philip's room is across the hall from you but he's away at university right now. He comes home some weekends."

She opened the door to my room and gestured for me to enter. Mr. Johnson dropped my suitcase inside the door, I hadn't realized that he had been carrying it this whole time. I mumbled a thank you which he completely ignored.

The room was simple, a bed was pushed against the wall with a desk and a dresser on the other side of the room. It was completely clear of any pictures or knick knacks, so unlike any other room in this house. It was also unlike my room at home where Soda's clothes littered the floor and my books and drawings covered the top of the desk. I bit my lip and focused on the room in front of me.

"Now Ponyboy, why don't you unpack and get yourself settled. Mrs. Donovan needs to complete some paperwork before we go and she can inform you if there was anything that we forgot to mention." Mrs. Wilson said. I looked over and met her eyes. She was hugging her file folder against her chest, watching me as if she could see that I was quickly losing my composure again.

Mrs. Donovan moved to brush off some imaginary dust from the dresser as Mr. Johnson disappeared down the hall without a backwards glance. "We'll eat when Mr. Donovan gets home, which should be any minute now. I'll call you when dinner is ready."

"Can I smoke?" I asked, desperate for a puff, it felt like days since I'd had my last one as I walked home from school.

Her lips pulled into a thin line and she wrinkled her nose disapprovingly. "If you must smoke, do so on the back porch. The door is off the kitchen." I bobbed my head in agreement, happy that she wasn't gonna try to force me to quit and she followed Mr. Johnson down the hallway.

For a moment Mrs. Wilson watched me as I went back to studying my shoes. Then she moved towards me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You'll be alright Ponyboy." She said and I looked at her incredulously. She blinked at my expression before schooling her own and quickly leaving the room.

I sat down heavily on the bed and ran my fingers along the overly starched blanket. I wished that I'd thought to take mom's old quilt with me, I don't think Soda would have minded. It would have been nice to have something here that felt like home. I reached for my suitcase and pulled out the item that was sitting at the top. I'd thrown it in at the last second without thinking too much about it.

My head was spinning, how had everything changed so fast? Just a few hours ago I was trying to plan dinner for my brothers and I. Now I couldn't tell you when I'd see either of them again. Everything I'd lost suddenly hit me square in the chest causing a sob to escape my lips.

I buried my nose in Soda's DX shirt, breathing in the scent of my brother and allowed the tears to come.