Last time: Sasha woke up and was happy to be back with her husband.

Now: Kyr checks in on his little sister.

Chapter 7- Anxiety

The ICU was fairly quiet, the other guy that had been here before was gone, so Sasha had the room completely to herself. Kyr was relaxing in the seat he had stolen from the waiting area to make the visits more comfortable, and no one had argued with him. He was quietly trying to play a game on his datapad, he briefly thought about putting his buy'ce back on so that he could have the full sound experience, but if Sasha woke up on his watch he didn't want to greet her with the T-visor, so he left it off, and tried to muddle through the shooting game without any sound. It was an interesting exercise, trying to handle the environment without the sound cues he was used to. He also had to be careful to not let his emotions get the best of him and have outbursts at the turns of fortunes in the game that might startle her awake.

After many hours of him sitting there, Sasha stirred on the bed, slowly coming to. She opened her eyes and looked around, blearly.

"Kyr?" She croaked out as her gaze landed on him.

Kyr fumbled slightly as he paused the game and put the pad down. "Hey Sash'ika, how are you doing?" He asked with a smile.

"I'm okay," she said in a soft whisper. "Things still hurt. How are you?"

"I'm good." He said, "do you need anything?" He asked, looking over at the cup of ice chips.

"Water would be nice," Sasha said following his gaze over to the cup.

"Doc said no water, but we've got ice for you." He said, reaching for the cup and scooting the chair a little closer to her bedside as he handed her the cup. "Go slow." He admonished, a small part of him realizing how strange it was to be the one tending her.

Sasha took the cup with a shaky hand and tried to move to sit up. She winced as she did so, her shoulder and ribs protesting the movement. "Can I get a hand?" She asked through ragged breaths as she rested back against the mattress.

"Yeah." Kyr said, already standing up. He used the small control panel to raise her bed up slightly so she was sitting more rather than laying down, then took the cup in his hand to help her hold it steady.

Sasha gave him a thankful glance as she raised the cup to her lips. She grabbed a couple of the chips before lowering the cup. Once the ice melted her mouth, she swallowed before speaking again, this time her voice clearer. "Thanks."

"No problem." He said stepping back just slightly so he wasn't looming over her. "So you had quite an adventure." He said as he sat down at her side.

"Yeah, you could say that," She said, absently as she stared down at the cup in her hand.

"And how are you with that?" He asked.

Sasha averted her gaze away from the cup and him. "I'm fine," she said quietly.

He looked at her for a moment. "Well that's good." He said, "some of the stuff that happened I was worried it might have been a bit much. Like having no one but Op to talk to for a week on a camping trip." He said with a slight shudder.

She didn't laugh or even smirk at that. She just kept staring at the curtain.

Kyr frowned slightly at that. "Through the war, part of being an officer was helping the people under us get through tough times, and there were a lot of those." He said quietly, "I talked a lot of friends through what was troubling them after similar circumstances. But I also don't want to pry, so if you want to talk, I'm here Sash'ika." He said, "but if you just need someone to sit with you, I'm also here."

"Thank you," Sasha said after a moment of silence. She then went quiet again before looking back to the cup. "It was terrifying. The whole thing. I've never been so scared in my life." She slammed her eyes closed as she shook.

Kyr took his gloves off, clipping them to his belt since he stole that idea from Cien, and reached over to put his hand on her arm. "I get that." He said, "there aren't a lot of things that compare to an experience like what you guys had to deal with." He said quietly, "but it is over now."

"I know. I'm glad it's over. I just…" She shuddered. "I can't get the image of it out of my head. And even though I know this is real, I keep feeling like I'm going to wake up from this dream and still be down there. Still being chased by those animals. Being chased by the bounty hunters." She paused. "Being so helpless," she added in a whisper.

"May I have your hand?" He asked.

Sasha tensed for a second before setting the cup aside. She then held out her hand to his. Her hand visibly shook as she did so.

Kyr took her hand gently, and squeezed it ever so slightly. "This is real, you're here, you are safe. Kelce is treating you, and your family is aboard this ship looking after you. And you will go home soon after you are feeling better. And you have the Force back, so you're back to being one of the most powerful people on this ship, and even without it, you are still one of the strongest. You don't need to be afraid, Sasha."

Sasha blinked at that as tears brimmed. She squeezed his hand in return and could feel the touch of his palm against hers. The tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks, past the cannula in her nose, and down her chin. Sasha didn't know how to respond except for nodding at what he said as she stared at their hands.

"And I will stay with you, at your side, for at least the next ten minutes until my relief gets here." He said quietly.

Sasha looked up at him. "Where are you going?" She asked, a line of fear in her voice.

"Probably to the bathroom." He replied solemnly.

She turned slightly red at that. "Oh. Okay," she then looked down. "I don't want to be alone right now."

"You've had someone sitting here ever since Kelce allowed it." He said, "Cien was going to be here soon to sit with you, after she made sure Viran finally went to go get some dinner and sleep. You're not going to be alone. I was just teasing you." He said with a slight smirk.

That caused her to smirk, though she tried not to. "Thank you," she said. She then tried to reach up with her right hand to wipe her face. However, her right arm was still slung across her chest, unable to move much due to the bandaging. That caused her to stare down at the sling for a long moment as she realized how badly injured she was. Slowly she stopped trying as she let her arm rest in the sling and just let the tears remain for now.

"Op said you saved his life several times." Kyr continued, "it sounded like you handled yourself pretty well down there."

"I guess I did," Sasha said, distantly. "But he saved my life more times than I could count. Even while we were down there. And I couldn't lose him. I had to help him no matter what. And…" She choked up on these words. "And there are people dead… because of me."

Kyr looked at her with a frown. "What people?" He asked, trying to figure out what she meant.

"The hunters. That man… his brother… even the Mandalorian…" She said gently.

Kyr looked at her for a moment. "You're worried about them?" He asked, having a little trouble understanding why she would even have second thoughts about it. "You're not responsible for their deaths." He said a little incredulously, "you were just trying to defend yourself, or save Op. They were the ones that decided to go after you guys, and they took that knowing full well it would be a dangerous job. Don't feel guilty that you were the one who walked away, they certainly wouldn't have. That's what makes you better than them, but don't let it weigh you down that you defended yourself and Op in the only way you could."

"But…" She gulped. "But when I killed the one and watch him fall into the river dead, I felt awful. Even when Op killed his brother to save me. But the Mando…" Sasha felt like she was going to throw up. "I just killed her without a second thought. I didn't even care at first that she was dying, only that Oppie was okay," she struggled to say. Her breathing became more rapid as she started to hyperventilate. "I know they were there for us, but I don't know what came over me. I'm not a killer, Kyr." She cried.

"No, you're not." He affirmed, "Sash'ika, you were just defending yourself and Op. Do not feel bad for doing that. Especially if you were caught up in the moment. From what it sounds like she was close to finishing Op. She was fully geared, and you didn't have any other way to save the both of you other than disabling her as quickly as possible." He said, before continuing quietly. "I've known people who enjoyed their jobs too much, that's not you. You're not a killer, you're a protector."

Sasha looked up at him on that, still breathing heavily, as fresh tears fell down her cheeks. "Really?"

"Really." He said, trying to calm her down. "You're not a killer, Sasha. Being a killer is different from taking a life. Being a killer doesn't mean you've taken a life, it means you don't care that you've taken a life, that you've enjoyed it. I've met those kinds of people, that's not you." He squeezed her hand a little tighter. "It's good that you feel some guilt about it. I feel guilt for all the lives I've taken." He admitted, "but don't ever feel bad that you did what you had to do to defend yourself and our brother."

"Okay," Sasha said, calming down slightly. Her breathing evening out. She hunched over as she realized her stressing out almost over did it. "Okay. Thank you…" She breathed out.

"You're welcome vod'ika." He said, "also…" he started cautiously, "Kitsu and Illara knew the Mandalorian hunter, at least. From what they said, you definitely didn't need to feel bad on her part."

Sasha didn't respond, she just nodded as she focused on trying to calm down.

"Where's your favorite place?" Kyr asked.

Sasha looked up at him, a little confused on the question. But she went silent as she tried to think of the place. After a long silence, she answered. "Haven."

"What's the weather like?" He asked.

"It's cold and snowy there. Like all the time," Sasha answered then looked at him quizzically. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Because when I get anxious about the things I've been through, it helps me to relax thinking back to my favorite place." He said quietly. "What time of day?" He asked.

"Um… like right around sunset," Sasha said looking around as if trying to imagine it now. "When the snow fall is just light enough that the whole valley can be seen."

"What room?" He asked, trying to visualize it, "or are you outside?"

"No, it's the living room," Sasha said, smiling slightly as she closed her eyes. "On the sofa near the large window and the fireplace. The place I always sit when we are in there."

"That sounds cozy. Got a blanket, or some hot chocolate?" He asked with a slight smile.

"Yeah," She nodded. "Both."

"Both is good." He said, "anyone else there or are you just relaxing?"

Sasha looked down at her lap. "Lana. Lana is there, resting against me," her voice broke slightly when she said her daughter's name.

"What's Viran off doing?" He asked.

"He's there too," Sasha said. "He's looking up new ships he wants to buy."

"Sounds expensive." Kyr said with a slight smile. He looked over and saw Cien standing at the edge of the curtain, he wasn't sure how long she had been standing there. He was jealous of how silently she could move sometimes. He turned back to Sasha. "What about the fire?" He asked, "did you guys set one?"

"Yeah," Sasha answered with a nod.

"Like a big, roaring fire or smoldering coals?" He asked for clarification. "And is my famous chili cooking off in the kitchen?" He ventured to ask.

"A decent sized one and no it's not," Sasha said, chuckling.

"Is anyone else there, or just the three of you?" He asked.

"You guys are around the house, but it's just us in there," she said.

"That sounds nice. Maybe Op and I are off chopping wood in the forest." Kyr suggested.

"Don't give her nightmares." Cien finally said with a soft smirk, speaking up.

Sasha's eyes flew open as she heard Cien's voice. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment. She smiled at her. "Cien…"

"Hi Sasha." She said, coming over to Sasha's bedside. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks to Kyr," Sasha said as she gave Kyr's hand, which was still holding hers, a squeeze.

"That's good." Cien said, "I couldn't help but overhear. I came a bit early because I felt how anxious you were a few moments ago." She said, looking across to Kyr and back to Sasha.

Sasha tensed for a moment. "Yeah, I'm alright," she said, almost forgetting that she connected back with the Force again and probably broadcast to Cien and Viran how she was doing. "Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize, I was just worried." Cien said.

"Okay," Sasha replied distantly. She hated that she made everyone worry so much about her.

"What was that you were saying about Haven?" Cien asked, sensing Sasha's mood slipping back.

"Oh, um, Kyr was just having me talk about my favorite place and just imagine everything I could be doing there," Sasha explained, perking up slightly.

"That's about what the weather will be like when we get home, soon." Kyr said, "summers just about ending."

"Home… I can't wait," Sasha said wistfully. "How long did Kelce say I'd be in here?"

"Kelce said another day or two in here, and then once you can start bacta treatments you'll move to the regular recovery room for another week or so." Cien answered. "So perhaps another week and a half until we're home."

Sasha deflated at that. She had already been away from home for so long already, but she understood that she needed to rest. "I just wanna go home, but I understand why I can't yet," she said, quietly. "Thank you for letting me know."

Cien just nodded. "I spoke with Reya and Zeran a little while ago with Viran before I made him go to sleep. They might still be up, if you would like to talk with them and see Lana?"

"Can I? I wanna see her," Sasha asked, almost pleadingly. She then hesitated and looked down at herself. Tensing up, Sasha started to curl in on herself. "But I don't want her to see me like this. I'm afraid I'd scare her." She shook at the thought of that.

"You won't." Cien insisted. "I'm sure she just wants to see her mother and hear your voice."

Sasha took a shaky breath and nodded. "Okay."

"I'll go get the communicator." Kyr said standing up. "I'll be back in a second." As he let go of Sasha's hand to go back to their quarters.

Sasha watched him go before looking at Cien. "I'm sorry I worried you guys so much. Viran told me about what happened when I disappeared from the Force. That you guys thought I was dead. That we both were," she said quietly as she sniffed, feeling tears again. "And he told me that you two worked together with the mindspace to try and find me. But I'm still so sorry for scaring you like that. Making you worry so much."

"It's okay." Cien said, taking Sasha's hand in her own ungloved hand. "It wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything you need to apologize for."

"I know. I just… I'm sorry," Sasha said as tears fell.

"It's okay." Cien said as she leaned forward and wrapped Sasha in a hug. "It's okay vod'ika."

Sasha wrapped her only free arm around Cien and hid her face into her shoulder as she bawled. Cien held her as tightly as she could without crushing her against her armor plates. Sasha didn't move as Cien held her. It felt good to be comforted by her family again. She continued to silently sob against Cien, not even noticing Kyr come back.

Kyr stopped for a moment, looking at the two of them. He stepped back to the side of the bed and stood there, while Cien hugged Sasha with her eyes closed. As Sasha finally calmed down, she slowly looked up from Cien's shoulder to see Kyr there. She grimaced for a second as she realized that yet again, she was too distracted to notice someone approach with the Force. She moved away from Cien slightly, sniffling, keeping her gaze down.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome." Cien said, pulling away. She looked around, and saw a box of wipes nearby. She pulled a few of them out and handed them to Sasha.

"I called Reya on the way back." Kyr said, "she said that Lana went to bed a half an hour or so ago. They can wake her, though, if you wanted to see her."

Sasha took the tissues and wiped her face. "I want to, but knowing Lana she'd be too cranky to sit still or go back to bed. I can call them later," she said quietly.

Kyr nodded. "They did send this along, though." He said, activating the hologram display, and it showed a few seconds worth of looping imagery of Lana sleeping in her crib. He held the small disk up to Sasha. "They went and took that a few minutes ago when we weren't sure if we'd have the call." He said quietly.

Sasha set down the tissues and grabbed the disk. She stared at it as more tears welled up. "She's getting so big. I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but… I miss her," she said. "Thank you Kyr for getting this."

He just nodded as he stepped back slightly. Sasha stared at the hologram feed of her daughter for as long as she could, but after a few moments, she felt all of her energy drain away and she became tired. She rested back against the bed, trying to keep her eyes open.

Kyr and Cien both watched as Sasha fell asleep. The holodisk was still clutched in her hand tightly, though and they didn't remove it or turn it off.

"I think I'll go ahead and take my leave." Kyr said quietly. "If you want to stay with her?"

"Okay." Cien said. As she passed him to get over to the seat, she pecked him lightly on the cheek with a kiss, and he looked at her surprised.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"You might have married the scariest thing, but I married the kindest thing." She said simply, before picking up the datapad with a small smile, and exiting the game he had paused.

He looked at her quizzically for a few moments with a little smile of his own. "See you in a bit cyar'ika."

"Have a good night cyar'riduur." She said, settling into the chair to watch over Sasha.

Review!