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Enjoy!

Jem

The air was cool and crisp, promising that fall had finally taken hold, as I walked back to my foster home with my backpack slung over one shoulder. All day at school I'd hardly been able to contain myself. I was practically bouncing down the street doing what I could only assume was a good impression of Sodapop Curtis.

A laugh bubbled up at the thought. Today was Friday. Today was the day I'd get to see my brothers. Glory, never thought that a measly week could feel so long.

A whole week without any contact from my brothers had been even harder than I could have imagined. I alternated between walking around in a daze and fighting an aching loneliness that took my breath away. I moved through the motions while at school. A veil separated me from the world, I was there in body but not really in mind. Once I returned to the house, I would continue the ruse until I was allowed to be excused to my room. Then I would curl up on the bed with Soda's shirt, clutching the photo of my family until it curled and wore away on the edges. I wasn't really living, I was just surviving until I could call my brothers or hopefully see them as Mrs. Wilson said she'd try to get approved.

Mrs. Wilson had been true to her word.

"Well Ponyboy," Mr. Donovan said as he hung up the phone. "That was your social worker. It looks like she's set up a visit with your brothers tomorrow after school." I'd stopped chewing my chicken mid bite and stared at him, my heart starting to feel lighter already.

Mr. Donovan was a stout man, with a wire brush moustache and rather noticeable bald spot. He was nice enough and had done what he could to make me feel welcomed into his house.

Mrs. Donovan's mouth pulled into a thin line. "That sounds nice," she said, though her tone of voice didn't carry the sentiment. "Would you like to see your brothers, Ponyboy?"

"Yeah, of course." I said, finally able to swallow my bite of chicken. I grinned at the Donovans. Daniel barely lifted his head to acknowledge my presence, but I was used to Steve Randle's brand of cold shoulder, and this kid had nothing on him. "So, they're coming here?"

"Yes Ponyboy," Mr. Donovan settled himself back into his seat with a grunt. "Mrs. Wilson recommends that this first visit is at this house but that we could look into other options as time goes on."

I tried to not think about that as I stamped out my smoke and made my way up the driveway. The idea that I would be away from home for a long time turned my stomach and for a moment my light hearted feeling started to sink. I shook my head to clear the thought. These worries weren't for today. Today I saw my brothers. I swallowed my disappointment at not being able to visit them in Tulsa, it would have been nice to be on our old couch, maybe Two-Bit and Steve would have stopped by and we could play a game of football in the lot.

I hopped up the front steps and followed Daniel through the front door. Daniel had silently made his position about my presence in his house clear right off the bat. That first morning, immediately after consenting to his parents that he'd show me around the school, he made sure to stay ten steps ahead of me at all times. He had no plan on showing me around, but it didn't bother me none. I could figure it out for myself and I wasn't looking to make friends with him.

"Hello boys," Mrs. Donovan called from the kitchen, as we entered the house. "How was school today?"

Daniel and I both mumbled variations of fine, and he quickly disappeared up the stairs to his room. I reached up to grab a glass and filled it with water.

"Did Mrs. Wilson call to say what time my brothers were coming?" I asked between gulps.

Mrs. Donovan didn't look up from chopping vegetables and answered vaguely. "No, sorry Ponyboy. I'm sure they'll show up sooner or later."

I frowned at the back of her head for a moment before deciding to run up the stairs to drop off my backpack. I was gonna wait for them on the porch, I'd sit out there all night if I got to see them for five minutes.

I pulled a pack of smokes out and my book out of my backpack, leaving it on the floor before running down the stairs.

There was an old bench swing on the front porch and I'd taken to sitting out there every evening after school. It was the perfect way to steer clear from Daniel's looks of disdain and Mrs. Donovan's overly engaged interest. She meant well but I didn't want to be part of her family.

I lit a smoke and leaned back, letting the swing rock gently back and forth, the combination of the movement and the smoke calming my nerves.

I missed Darry and Soda something awful. It was the little things that I kept thinking about; strangely coloured food, rough booted footsteps coming up the front steps and the warmth of a hand on my shoulder or a wide toothy grin.

I had finally gotten lost in the pages of my book, when a familiar rumble came down the street. My head shot up and a laugh of pure joy bubbled out of me at the sight of our old truck pulling onto the street. I dropped my book and jumped off the swing, coming down the front steps as the truck turned into the driveway.

Soda jumped outta the truck before Darry was even able to put it into park. He bolted straight for me and we collided, wrapping our arms around each other.

He pulled back and looked into my face. I could see that they were bright with tears that didn't fall, but his smile was blinding. "Glory kiddo, I missed you so much!" He brushed my hair back and I batted his hand away gently. He laughed and pulled me back into his arms, squeezing me tightly.

The crunch of footsteps pulled my attention and I looked up into Darry's face. He was watching me carefully, his arms crossed in front of him.

I pulled out of Soda's arms and dived towards Darry. He held me close and I felt his cheek press against my hair. "How are you, Pone? Are they treating you okay?"

I would have laughed at how predictable Darry could be if it wasn't for the desperation lurking under his voice. It must have been killing my brother not to be able to take care of me. All my life he had been there, until now.

"Sure Darry, they're nice enough." I mumbled into his shoulder. He pulled back, placing his hands on my arms and looked down at me with his eyebrow raised.

"Nice enough?"

"They're fine," I said firmly, then ducked my head unable to meet his eyes. "I just wish I could come home."

Darry's hands tightened unconsciously on my arms and I saw him meet Soda's eyes over my head. He heaved a sigh and patted my back. "I know kiddo. We want you home too."

"We're working on it, Pony." Soda draped his arm over my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. "It won't be too much longer."

"Any luck finding a new job, Dar?" I asked hopefully though I immediately regretted it when Darry deflated.

I glanced over at Soda and he gave me a small tight lipped smile. "He's got a few interviews next week.."

"But they're for jobs that still won't be enough." Darry snapped and sat down heavily on the top step of the front porch. He ran his hand through his hair and heaved a sigh that I could feel from a few feet away. I felt a pang in my gut at how defeated my strong brother looked and I shot Soda a helpless look.

Soda pushed me forward gently and we both sat down on the bottom step on either side of Darry's feet. I leaned my head against his knee for a moment and he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Listen kiddo, I ain't giving up. I'm gonna get you home and soon." He squeezed my shoulder and I looked up at his eyes that were begging me to believe him, to believe in him.

I don't think Darry understood that there is nothing in this world that I believe in more than him and Soda.

I grinned up at him and I could see the tension disappear from Soda at the sight. "I know you will Darry and the Donovans are pretty nice, so you don't havta worry about me, you dig."

Darry grinned back. "That ain't gonna happen little buddy. I don't care what the state says, it's my job to worry about you."

I made a big show of rolling my eyes and Soda chuckled before he reached over Darry's knees to ruffle my hair.

"Hey! Quit it!" I yelped and batted his hand away.

It might have escalated into a wrestling match but Mr. Donovan's Cadillac pulled into the driveway. Both Darry and Soda sat up and straightened their backs. It was the opposite to the greaser's slouch that they would normally adopt in a tense situation, as if they were trying to shake off that greaser identity. I was so used to them staring down trouble with a studied casualness, their muscles coiled and ready to spring that the rigidness I saw now made me stand up. My brothers stood as well, each moving to bookend me.

Mr. Donovan stepped out of his car and shielded his eyes with a hand as he squinted at the three of us on his front steps.

"Well howdy, you must be Ponyboy's brothers. I'm Ken Donovan." He boomed as he moved towards us, reaching out to shake Darry's hand. "Nice to meet you."

Darry gave a curt nod. "Likewise. I'm Darrel and this is Sodapop." Soda tipped his head but he curled his arm around me instead of shaking his hand.

Mr. Donovan didn't seem to be fazed by Soda's protective stance and just smiled. "I'm glad that you boys were able to make it here tonight. Ponyboy has been missing you."

My face heated up and I ducked my head. A smile started to grow on Soda's lips and he tugged me closer to him. Darry shot me a glance, the corners of his mouth down. "We wouldn't have missed it." He didn't say anything else, but I understood what he meant. This past week hadn't been easy for any of us.

The creak of the screen door pulled our attention and we all turned to see Mrs. Donovan stepped onto the porch, wiping her hands on a dishcloth.

"Hello," she said, her eyes studying my brothers. I followed her gaze and noted that both my brothers were wearing their best jeans. Soda wasn't in his DX shirt but a clean flannel and he didn't have a trace of grease on his fingers, something that I'd come to think as part of my brother. Darry's hair was carefully combed. My brothers had dressed to make a good impression. I gritted my teeth. It wasn't right, they were fine the way they were and who cared what the Donovans thought anyway?

"Mary," Mr. Donovan said, as he stepped up to her side. "These are Ponyboy's brothers, Darrel and Sodapop Curtis."

They quickly exchanged niceties and I was starting to chafe at the fact that this was taking my time away from my brothers. I wanted Mr. and Mrs. Donovan to go back into the house so I could imagine for one minute that it was just Darry, Soda and me.

"Would you boys be interested in dinner?" Mrs. Donovan asked, still rubbing her hands on that dishcloth.

"No, thank you ma'am." Darry answered and Soda shook his head in agreement. "We would like to see Ponyboy's room if that's alright with you?"

"Of course you can," Mr. Donovan laughed and waved them off. "Ponyboy can show you the whole house if he wants."

Mrs. Donovan pursed her lips. "I'll put a plate aside for you Ponyboy," I nodded my head, smiling. I didn't want to waste time eating with the Donovans when I could be with my brothers.

The Donovans stepped back into the house and I felt Soda bristle beside me. It just occurred to me how quiet he had been since Mr. Donovan had come home. I shot him a look with my eyebrow raised in question.

"I don't like them telling you what to do, like they're in charge of you or somethin'." Soda glared at the door of the house, crossing his arms across his chest.

Darry sighed and eyed him. "Well, whether we like it or not, they are in charge of him." Soda huffed and continued trying to set the door on fire with his eyes. "At least for now." Darry added, and all of the sudden the weight of the world settled back on his shoulders.

"Come on," I said as brightly as I could muster. "Let me show you around."

I forced a smile to remain plastered on my face as I led them through the house. I didn't want to spend the only time we had together tearing our hearts out about the things that we couldn't change. I was causing them so much pain already. I could see it in the worry lines on Darry's brow or how tired Soda's eyes were. This was killing them just as much as it was me and I couldn't bear to see them hurt.

So, I nattered on about school for Darry, "they placed me in advanced classes….No, so far the work's been okay," and about girls for Soda even though it made me blush, "Yeah, there's a pretty girl in my math class who seems tuff." Anything I could think of to distract us from the fact that they would have to leave sooner or later and I wasn't going with them. The look they exchanged between them made it clear that they could see right through me, but neither of them called me on it.

We encountered Daniel in the hallway between the living room and kitchen. He gave his usual grunt of disinterest when I introduced him and quickly pushed past us to the kitchen.

"What's his problem?" Soda asked, watching him with flashing eyes.

"Who cares," I said, as I placed my hand on his arm to stop my reckless brother from taking off down the hallway to give him a piece of his mind. Soda turned back towards me at the contact and flashed me a smile that made it clear that Daniel was the last thing on his mind again.

Darry was wandering around the formal living room, uncomfortably trying not to touch anything.

"They sure have a lot of family photos up." He muttered, squinting at one of the dozen on the mantel. "They have three kids?"

"No, two kids." I said from the doorway. "Daniel, who you just met and Philip who's away at school." I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe. "Why'd you ask?"

"Oh there's just three boys in this family photo." Darry pointed and both Soda and I moved forward to see. Sure enough, the picture was of Mr. and Mrs. Donovan in front of a cabin with a lake in the background. Sitting in front of them on the step were three boys. I recognized Daniel's head of wild black hair and I could only assume that the taller, broader boy was Philip. Sitting between the two of them was a smaller boy, with light brown hair and a wide grin.

I blinked at the photo in surprise. I glanced around the room and realized that I could see that same boy's face smiling out of a few other photos. Why hadn't I noticed it before? It was as if I'd been living under water this week and now that my brothers were here I was finally coming up for air and looking around.

"Maybe, they've taken in foster kids before?" Soda offered, clearly no longer interested in the details of the Donovan family.

I shrugged my shoulders uncertainly. "Yeah, maybe…."

We ended up in my room, sitting together on my bed. We filled the silence with trivial talk, enjoying each other's company while desperately trying to forget how soon our time together would be over. I asked them how Two-Bit and Steve were, silently wishing that they'd also come to see me. Nobody could distract from a painful silence easier than Two-Bit and nothing could get me out of feeling sorry for myself faster than an insulting comment from Steve.

Glory, I sure was missing home if I was looking forward to arguing with Steve.

It felt like they had just arrived but soon the clock was reading 10 PM and Darry and Sodapop had to leave. Darry looked downtrodden as he explained that it would take over an hour to get home from Stillwater and that he had agreed to go in first thing tomorrow in order to get off early today to come see me. I told him not to worry about it but I dragged my feet all the way to the front door trying snatch a few extra minutes.

"Heading out boys?" Mr. Donovan called out as we passed the kitchen. Darry stiffened, and I knew that he did not love being referred to as boys from this stranger, though he held his tongue.

"Yes, we both work in the morning."

"Do you know when you'd like to visit Ponyboy again?" Mr. Donovan asked.

"We're both off next Saturday, we could spend the day together." Soda offered almost apprehensively.

"That sounds fine." Mr. Donovan nodded his head. "Well, I've got some business over in Tulsa on Saturday... I could drop off Ponyboy in the morning if that works for you?"

Soda immediately brightened up, aiming his movie star smile at Mr. Donovan. "Gosh, are you sure that's okay?"

Mr. Donovan chuckled. "Mrs. Wilson said the judge ruled in favour of home visits, so I don't see why not."

The muscle in Darry's jaw jumped and for a moment I thought he was going to tell him that he could pick me up himself. Soda nudged him none too gently in the ribs and Darry rolled his eyes at him, but smiled.

"Thanks, that'd be great."

As Darry and Soda said goodbye to Mr. Donovan and made their way to the door, a movement in the kitchen doorway caught my eye. Mrs. Donovan was watching my brothers leave, her eyes narrowed and her lips her in a thin line so tight that they almost disappeared. A shiver ran up my spine. I had never seen her look anything more than annoyed at Daniel's remark's. I had the sudden irrational urge to step into the line of fire to save my brother's from it's heat. Her eyes snapped towards me. Her expression flipped like a switch to a bright smile and she moved back into the kitchen.

I took a step to follow her. What was all that about?

"Pone?" Soda called me from the door. "Are you coming?"

I turned on my heels and followed Soda. He hooked an arm around my neck and watched me carefully. "You're sure that you're okay here, kiddo?"

I nodded, suddenly finding it hard to speak without crying.

Soda leaned forward to look me right in the eyes, his dark eyes filled with worry. "You'd tell us if you weren't, right?"

I burrowed into his chest, grabbing a hold of the back of his flannel. Trying to soak up every last bit of comfort that I could before I was separated from him for another week. "I'm fine Soda. I just miss you and wanna come home."

Soda pressed his face into my hair. "We miss you too, Pony. It just ain't right without you."

I looked over at Darry who was watching us with sorrowful eyes. He gave a tight smile when he noticed my gaze. "He's right, Pone. We sure do want you home."

I pulled away from Soda to hug Darry. Soda followed and the three of us stood in the driveway holding each other, for once not caring how tuff we looked or who was watching. I guess when you feel like you're losing your family some things just don't matter like they used to.

We broke apart and I blinked hard to keep the tears from escaping. I could see that Soda was doing the same. Darry's eyes were dry but by no means emotionless.

Soda ruffled my hair. "You're coming home next Saturday, that's only a week away and we'll call you a bunch before then too." His smile was a dimmer version of the bright one that he usually wore. Now that the trial period was over we could call each other as often as we liked. It couldn't be everyday because I don't think my brothers could afford the long distance, but Mr. Donovan had agreed that I could call them twice a week and he'd cover the charges.

"Family's important, Ponyboy." He said when I'd expressed my surprise. "I know how hard it is to be apart from those you love." He smiled and patted my shoulder as he walked by but I saw how his eyes crinkled with sadness.

One visit and a few phone calls each week didn't seem like enough, but after this past week, I'd take anything that I could get.

Darry nodded. "Be good, kiddo. Let us know if you need anything." He patted my shoulder, before pulling me in again for a quick squeeze.

"I'll call you guys tomorrow and maybe I could say hi to Two-Bit if he's around?" It wasn't just my brothers that I missed, hell I even wanted to talk to Steve at this point.

"He'll probably be around raiding our ice box. He'd sure like to talk to you. I swear he's getting to be an even bigger nuisance without you around to distract him." Darry quipped, but he smiled.

I bit my lip hard as the truck disappeared down the road. I wasn't keen on crying in the driveway for all the world to see. I lit a cigarette and breathed in the smoke deeply, hoping that the familiar action would give me comfort. It didn't work.

Frustrated, I stamped out my smoke and rushed into the house, holding all my emotions at bay. I just needed to make it to my room before they overwhelmed me.

I turned the corner and crashed into Daniel. He grabbed the wall to keep his balance and I reeled back. He sneered at me.

"Would you watch where you're going?!"

"Sorry," I mumbled, not feeling very sorry but also not at all in the mood to deal with him. I had just watched the two people I loved the most in this world drive off without me. I was dangerously close to sobbing or snapping if I had to deal with Daniel for a second longer. What had I ever done to him, anyway?

I pushed past him, to reach the sanctuary of my room.

"Sure, just head on down to your room to cry like a baby." Daniel's cold voice followed me.

I whirled around, his fists clenching. "You don't know what it feels like to lose your brothers." I snapped.

Daniel's eyes flashed with an unreadable emotion before they hardened into anger. "You better watch it, kid." He slammed the door to his room, causing the pictures on the wall to vibrate with his anger.

I closed my door gently and slid down it until I was sitting on the floor. Then, I released my tears.

So much for my good mood.