A/N: Hey, did I mention this story has a lot of sex? Because this story has a lot of sex.

Like, there's barely a sliver of character development here, it's just them being nasty. Very nasty. The plot will continue some day. XD

Also, you know how in episode 6 Blitzo calls himself Daddy more than once? Yeah. Sorry for this.

An obnoxious scream startled Blitzo away from his work. He accidentally jerked his pen across the paper he'd been writing on; he huffed in annoyance but reached over to answer his phone because he knew what that ringtone meant.

"Hey, Stolas," Blitzo greeted as he set his pen down and allowed himself to lean back in his chair.

"Hello, Blitzy," came the response, though it was lacking its usual zest.

"Something wrong?" Blitzo propped his booted feet up on his desk.

Stolas sighed, "Not anything specific, just weary. This past fortnight has been lonesome. It's far too long to go without seeing your face, and I miss your touch."

"Y-yeah." Blitzo blushed, thankful no one could see him as he struggled to reciprocate (not because he didn't feel the same way, but because vocalizing his feelings, particularly those of affection, was still difficult).

"Yeah?" Stolas prompted. "Anything to say, Blitzy?" His voice was teasing.

Blitzo sank down in his chair, feeling red hot. "M-miss you too. Stupid bird."

Stolas tittered with amusement. "Oh, I can imagine you are turning the most delightful shade of red right now, hmm? I wish I was there to take advantage of it."

"Shut up, you weirdo!" Blitzo found himself scowling at nothing. "Anyway, when aren't you gonna be busy?"

Another sigh from the opposite end of the receiver. "Unfortunately, I don't know. Not even a full week away, and twice as much to do when I get back. It's ridiculous how many times I've had to placate demons I truly don't give two shits about. Assure them I'll not go AWOL again or not answer their call. Ugh. Absolutely annoying."

"Sounds lame."

"Yes, quite. I find myself beyond bored with all the politics. And I've rarely had a quiet moment to myself. Always doing a favor here, favor there to get back into good graces."

"What're you doing right now?"

"Ah, well, now I've actually found, despite all odds, an hour to myself."

"A whole hour, huh? Lucky."

"Quite." Stolas was silent for a moment. "You are at work, I presume?"

Blitzo flicked a paper football he'd made across the room where it bounced against the rim of the trash can and fell to the floor.

"Uh, yeah, I am," the imp replied. "Was just finishing up some plans for our latest hunt. Actually, we should be leaving here soon, or else we won't be able to stick to schedule."

"Oh," Stolas said, sounding dejected, "I was hoping to, well, maybe this is selfish of me, but—" He cut himself off briefly. "Hoping you would come over and ravage me?"

Blitzo quirked an eyebrow. "Stolas, we talked about this. I can't just drop everything to come and dick you down."

Stolas gave an affronted pout. "But Blitzy, you don't know how awful it is to be doing all this hard work and never get a reprieve."

"I mean, kinda."

"Well. You know what I mean. Besides, I'm lonely!"

"Stolas . . ."

"And stressed out, on top of it. I could use some relief, something to ease the tension."

"You're gonna have to wait for this dick. You're not the only one who's busy, ya know."

There was an exaggerated sigh. "You're sure you can't spare just a few minutes?"

Blitzo pinched the bridge of his snout. "You're being kind of annoying here, Stolas."

"It's hardly my fault. I miss getting rawed by your—"

"Dammit, bitch, cut that shit out!" Blitzo snapped. "Can't you just, ya know, pet your own cat? Audition your own finger puppets?"

"Are these euphemisms of some sort?"

The imp rolled his eyes. "I happen to know you have a whole box full of dildos. Why don't you just use one of those?"

Stolas huffed, "Are you telling me to go fuck myself?"

"I mean . . ."

"Pleeeeease, Blitzy? Just a quickie?"

Blitzo sighed heavily. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't at all interested. But if he gave in, then Stolas would have the upper hand. And the thing about having to leave soon was true, after all. However . . .

"If," Blitzo said, resigned, "if we have a quick round of phone sex, will that scratch your itch? I need to finish planning, and the others will be expecting to leave any minute."

"Oh? Oh, yes, yes! I'll take anything," Stolas said hurriedly. "Ooh, phone sex? I've never done it before!"

"Really?" Blitzo was puzzled. "All the time you spend crying and moaning like a bitch in heat into my ear over the phone, and you've never had phone sex?"

"I talk a big game, Blitzy, you know this. Now, since you suggested it, why don't you start? Show me how it's done~?"

Blitzo glanced around his office in a quick search for inspiration. He knew what Stolas liked, of course, but how to translate that into something that could motivate him over the phone.

What am I doing, Blitzo berated mentally, he'll think anything's sexy. Doesn't take much to get his motor revving. I'd be more surprised if he wasn't already soaked.

"Okay. You're alone, right? In your room?" Blitzo asked, dropping his voice lower.

"Hmm? Yes, yes, alone in my room," Stolas responded, sounding intrigued.

"What're you wearing?"

"Just my usual attire. I still have—"

"Take it all off. First your cloak, your hat, then your vest, then your pants. But leave those little panties I know you've got on."

There was no response for a moment; Blitzo smirked. He could tell Stolas was taken by surprise at the comment.

"Okay, almost completely naked," Stolas said. "Now what, big boy?"

"Stroke a finger over your panties. You're already dripping, I bet," Blitzo continued, grinning impishly all the while.

Stolas let out a soft whine, presumably from touching himself.

"You are? Ha, knew it. Rub your little cunt for me," Blitzo said. "Feel good?"

"Yes, Blitzy," Stolas replied, voice high.

"Get your chest of sex toys out."

There was movement as Stolas heeded the imp's commands. After a few seconds, Blitzo prompted, "Got it?"

"Mmhmm~"

"Perfect. That vibrator still around? Turn it on."

Blitzo could hear the buzz as Stolas did exactly that.

"Press it against yourself," the imp continued. Stolas let out a soft moan the next moment. "Fuck yeah. You're so hot and wet for me, aren't you? Just soaked. Getting your nice panties all dirty."

"B-Blitzo," Stolas moaned. "It isn't enough-!"

"Hold your fucking horses. I say when and what you do. For now, get on your stomach and stick that sexy little ass in the air."

"Ooh, Blitzy, I want your cock inside m—"

"Did I say you could speak? Close that beak of yours. You better have that ass high."

The sound of fabric rustling came over the receiver. Blitzo could hear Stolas panting softly.

"Tail up, bitch. If I were there, I want to be able to see your sopping hole from the door. Now, are you in position?"

"Yes, baby," Stolas responded.

"Good. Since you've done so well, you can tug those ruined panties down. Slowly. Bare your cute ass for me."

Stolas did as he was told, letting his chest and shoulders take most of his weight as he reached back with both hands to pull his underwear down. He shivered and clenched around nothing as cold air hit his slit.

"Fuck, that's so hot. I hear can how desperate you are. You want Daddy to fuck you?" Blitzo asked in a low voice.

Shit. Did he just-?

Fuck. He'd let that one slip.

During his relationship with Verosika, she'd teased him with the title. That was where Blitzo had discovered he really liked being called Daddy. He hadn't been called that by anyone in quite a while, and he certainly hadn't been planning to ask Stolas to call him that (right now, anyway).

This shouldn't be the place to start it, but shit, it was so much easier to ask (or let it slip) over the phone.

"Oh, fuck yes, Daddy!" Stolas cried out. Blitzo was nearly blown away by how excited the owl sounded.

Nearly not applying to his cock, however. The erection pressing at the zipper of his pants begged to be released.

Blitzo looked down at it with dread. Having one-sided phone sex with Stolas was one thing but jacking off to it in his office when he was supposed to be prepping for a hunt was another.

Maybe I can just ignore it—

"Daddy, please, fuck me!" Stolas moaned loudly into his ear. Blitzo swore the seams on his zipper creaked. He really should know by now what an effect Stolas had on him.

"Relax, Princess, you'll get it good in just a second," Blitzo said as he quietly unzipped himself and pulled out his cock. He hadn't planned to touch himself, but there was no going back now. "You can use your magic to move anything, yeah?"

"Yes, my telekinesis is very powerful." Stolas, despite his arousal, didn't mind using the question to brag a little.

"Okay then, I want you to spread your legs as far as you can, then take the red dildo and slip that cock up your tight little bird pussy as deep as possible."

There was another short pause as Stolas slid his legs down and out to either side.

"Ooooh!" the prince whined as he pressed the silicon cock into himself. "Fuck, you fill me so much-!"

"Yeah?" Blitzo asked breathily, his free hand now wrapped around the base of his cock. "Let's start slow." He could imagine himself there, stretching open the bird's tight cunt. As silently as he could, he began stroking himself. Stolas moaned highly, and Blitzo was sure he could hear the slick sound of the sex toy moving in and out.

"You like that, Princess?" Blitzo asked. He tried to keep his voice low and unbothered despite the sensation in his lower half.

"Yes, yes, but—" Stolas cut off with a breathy shudder—"fuck, I need more!" Gripping a pillow tightly with both hands, he thrusted the dildo faster into himself.

"You better slow the fuck down, or Daddy ain't gonna let you come." Blitzo's voice was low and reprimanding.

Stolas let out a soft whimper but managed to once again slow down to his earlier pace despite how his body shivered and yearned for more. It was almost embarrassing how aroused he was despite Blitzo not actually being physically present.

"Good. Listen better from now on."

"Y-yes, Daddy."

Holy fuck, Blitzo could not believe how hard he was hearing Stolas call him that. He had to apply pressure to the base of his cock to keep himself from blowing his fuse too early.

"That's good to hear, Princess. Want me to fuck you faster?" Blitzo purred. His hand worked slowly up and down his erection.

"Yes!"

"I'm gonna need more than that."

"Mm, please, fuck me! Fuck me so hard I can't walk straight!"

Blitzo let out a bored sounding hum. Stolas whined in frustration, clearly desperate for more, and the imp grinned mischievously.

"Blitzy, Daddy, please, I need your thick cock to ruin me, destroy me!" Stolas pleaded. "You know I love it. Please, please, I need it, Daddy!"

Blitzo bit his tongue as his grin widened. "Well fuck, baby, if you need Daddy's cock that bad . . ." He thumbed the tip of his erection, barely refraining from hissing in pleasure. "And you've been mostly patient. Hmm, yeah, I'll fuck ya real good. Speed up."

"Satan, yes!" Stolas wasted no time in upping the speed and strength behind his magic to slam the dildo inside his hole. The sudden increase in movement made him howl in pleasure. His grip tightened on the pillow, claws digging into the fluff.

"Yeah, fuck, that's good. You're so hot. Look at your sexy little ass, taking my cock so well," Blitzo praised even though he obviously had no eyes on the bird. He was still jerking himself off, the sounds Stolas made fueling his fantasy.

Stolas was moaning like a cheap whore, eyes squeezed shut and talons clenching at the ends of his feet. Blitzo could hear the lewd squelching of the sex toy thrusting in and out of the prince. Clearly, the phone was on speaker, laying unattended on the bed somewhere.

"I can tell you're close, Princess," Blitzo said once he recognized the signs of Stolas nearing orgasm. "Gonna cum on my dick like the slut you are?"

"O-oh, fuck, yes, always!" Stolas groaned back. The dildo was slamming in and out of his soaked cloaca with fervor, edging him closer and closer to climax. "I'm almost there-!" He let out a strangled moan as his body tensed in preparation.

Blitzo sensed the coming flood and quickened his own pace.

"Cum for me, Princess! I wanna hear you scream," Blitzo hissed into the phone. He was grinning like a madman, sweat beading on his forehead as he pumped his cock in time with Stolas' toy.

"Ah, f-fuck, Daddy!" the prince howled. He ground his crotch against the bed and arched his back, hilting the dildo inside him with one final push.

Stolas calling him Daddy while cumming was so hot, Blitzo probably would have jizzed his pants even if he hadn't been jerking off. But here he was, gasping behind his work desk as he shook with pleasure. The sounds Stolas was making were heavenly—well, as close as murderous demons could get. The prince was sighing and moaning lightly as he rode out his high, no doubt grinding and squirming against the sheets to milk every ounce of self-gratification from it.

After several moments of catching his breath, Blitzo moved first; he had made a mess because of his lack of self-control. Worth it though. He fished out a box of tissues he kept in a drawer of his desk and quietly went about cleaning himself off.

"Oh, Blitzy, that was so hot," Stolas piped up, sounding satisfied. "I never knew masturbation could be so arousing. And the way you commandeered it all—so sexy!"

"Heh, yeah, glad you liked it," Blitzo replied, somewhat distracted as he tucked himself back into his pants.

"That was fun. We should do it again—but not too soon. I'd rather have your real cock filling me up." Stolas let out a trilling purr. "But I have to wonder why you'd rather spill all over your hand then fire it into me."

Blitzo choked. "I—"

Stolas laughed. "Didn't think you could hide that from me, did you, Blitzy? I've heard you orgasm quite a few times, and you are typically quite demure about being heard. Didn't think you'd get hard listening~?"

"Sh-shut up!" Blitzo went red in the face. "Not my fault you moan like such a skank!"

That drew another laugh from the prince. "Don't be so reticent, Blitzy! I think we're far past such white lies, hmm?" Stolas hummed in amusement. "I'm not judging your techniques, darling. You know it doesn't matter what you do; you're a sex god to me."

Blitzo rolled his eyes. "Right. Sure."

Stolas hummed. Neither said anything for a long moment.

"Blitzy," Stolas finally started, "next week is the full moon again already." It was clear from his tone that he was unsure how to broach the subject.

Blitzo hesitated to respond too. His eyes darted around his office, from the Grimoire thrown on the chair next to the door to the pinned polaroid of him and Stolas on the whiteboard.

"Ooookay," Blitzo slowly said. "You, uh, you upset about that?"

"Oh, Blitzo, you know I'm not trying to insinuate anything." Stolas sighed softly. "It's just . . . my previous ignorance regarding the full moon. It hurt you deeply when I made our relationship transactional like that, intentional or not. I would like to avoid dredging any of those feelings to the surface."

". . . Right." Blitzo paused. "You still need the book though, don't you?"

"Yes, that's correct. I was not lying about needing the Grimoire on the full moon. I just made it about myself before. I don't want to force you into anything you're not comfortable with."

"It's fine. I know why you did it."

"Yes, but that doesn't change the fact it hurt you."

Blitzo shrugged to no one, falling again back in his chair. "I guess. But we're all cool now."

"Are we?"

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"Blitzo," Stolas said with a sterner tone. "I'm attempting to make sure I do this right this time around."

"What?" Blitzo asked.

"If I need the Grimoire anyway, I . . . I'd love to spend a passionate night with you."

"Oh."

"This is why I was trying to be delicate, Blitzy. I don't want to have sex if you feel as if it's just a mandatory exchange."

"It wouldn't be."

"No, it wouldn't, but would you feel as if it were? I don't want you to feel obligated—"

"Hey, dumbass," Blitzo interrupted, a small smile on his face, "I want to be there. It's not fucking for the book; it's fucking because we . . . like each other." He flushed at Stolas' laughter.

"Aw, Blitzy, that's so sweet. I'm glad you feel the same. This could just be our routine. A scheduled date night each month," Stolas said with a smile. "No pressure, no obligations besides love."

Blitzo's blood rushed loudly in his temple; the word, despite him having said it more than once, still ignited a purr in his chest and set his head spinning. He swiveled around in his chair to face the wall because the room seemed to be doubling in size.

"Y-yeah, totally. I'll be looking forward to it," the imp replied genuinely. "You have, uh, plans?"

"Me too, darling," Stolas said. "And hmm, maybe~? I'll give it some thought and let you know."

"Sounds good. Make it kinky. Anyway, I better get going. I'm sure the others are wondering what's taking me so long."

"Absolutely. Talk to you later. I love you, Blitzy~"

"Bye, love you too."

"Oooooohh!" came Millie's voice from behind him suddenly.

Blitzo startled, jerking around in his chair to see his employees at the now open door. Millie and Moxxie each wore wide grins, eyebrows raised in a teasing manner. He heard Stolas laugh from the phone before the call ended.

"So sweet, B!" Millie cooed.

"Y-you better shut your cock holsters!" Blitzo shouted, face burning. "You didn't hear shit!"

"Riiiiight," Moxxie tittered. "But we've been sitting here waiting for you for like ten minutes."

Blitzo blanched. "Outside the door?"

Moxxie cocked an eyebrow. "In the main area. You said we were leaving in five."

"R-right, yeah, sorry, Stolas, uh, he—" Blitzo dusted himself off, giving his lower half a quick onceover to make sure he didn't have any suspicious remnants from his phone call. "He wanted to talk, and you know how he is." He stood and fumbled with his plans as he made for the door.

"Of course. He sure likes talkin' to you," Millie teased as she grabbed the Grimoire. "Don't get so flustered, Blitzo! Nothin' wrong with lovin' someone." She slapped him on the back before tossing the book to Loona.

"That's not—never mind."