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"Sodapop!"

The familiar voice cracked through the air, young and desperate. I was standing in the middle of a clearing in the woods. A shaft of moonlight broke through the trees falling on my face but the rest was darkness. I could just make out the line of trees surrounding me only a few feet away. I wasn't sure how I got here or where I was really.

"Soda!"

The voice seemed to be coming from all sides. I turned in a circle looking through the darkness, but all I could see were trees and brush densely packed together then blackness.

"Sodapop, help!"

The stark fear in his voice broke me. I couldn't hesitate any longer, not when my brother needed me.

"Ponyboy! Where are you?" I screamed out, choosing a direction at random. I dodged through the trees, out of the moonlight I was in complete darkness. I could barely make out the silhouette of the trees. I was running blind.

"Please!" He sobbed, his voice breaking on that one word.

My shoulder hit a tree and I stumbled. Whirling in a circle I threw myself in a new direction, still not able to place where the voice was coming from.

"Pony! I can't find you!" I was openly crying now, tears running down my face, blinding me. I bumped off another tree.

"Sodapop!" The terrified scream rang through the air and I echoed the frantic call.

"Ponyboy!"

"Ponyboy!" The scream pulled me abruptly from a deep sleep. I blinked in the gloom of my room, my mind trying to grasp what had pulled me from my sleep. I rolled over ignoring the pain in my back that flared up and glanced at the alarm clock. 4:27am, I grimaced, it was way too early to be awake.

I was used to being woken up by Ponyboy's nightmares, usually Soda would calm him and I'd slip back into sleep. But Ponyboy wasn't here, he hadn't been for some time and he was missing now.

"Pony, no!"

I sat straight up in bed as my brain registered that it was Soda.

The yell was followed by a loud crash and I scrambled out of bed. The sheets tangled around my legs and I almost hit the ground as I threw myself towards the door. I wrenched the door open. The house was pitch black but I was just able to see a dark form streak out of my brothers' room.

"Soda?"

"Pony!" He cried again, tripping over his shoes that were lying in the living room and barely stopping as he threw himself towards the front door.

"Soda!" I called. A figure jumped up from the couch and ran after Soda as he fell out onto the porch.

I tore after the two of them, also tripping over Soda's shoes in the black. I cursed loudly and made it outside in time to see Steve tackle Soda.

They hit the ground hard and my brother struggled madly. All the while screaming and yelling for our baby brother.

"Come on Soda! Wake up!" Steve grunted as he took Soda's elbow in his side. He still didn't let go, desperately holding onto his best friend who seemed determined to get away. To somehow get to his baby brother.

I grabbed Soda by his arms and yanked him towards me. His face was illuminated by the streetlight, tears making his cheeks shine in the light. His eyes were wide and frightened but unseeing.

"Ponyboy!" He screamed, his voice raw.

"Soda! Snap out of it!" I shook him hard.

He blinked back at me. His eyes focused on me before his face crumpled and he let out a heartbreaking sob.

I pulled him into my arms, falling onto the dew covered grass to cradle him like he was young. He curled into my arms, cries breaking from him like water from a dam.

"I can hear him, Darry. He needs me and I can't find him!"

I blinked back tears, my eyes meeting Steve's over Soda's head. Steve rubbed a hand down his face and turned away, giving us the illusion of privacy.

"Where is he?" Soda sobbed. "Where is he?"

I didn't have an answer. All I could do was hold him as his heart bled onto the cold grass. Glory, my heart was bleeding too.

I don't know how long the three of us sat there in the front yard, listening to Soda's pain slowly subside until he was only sniffling into my shoulder.

Finally, he pulled back and wiped his face. Sending an embarrassed look over his shoulder to Steve. "I guess I'm officially the bawl baby of the gang." He chuckled weakly, then shook his head. "I don't know what I was thinking. I just needed to find him."

Steve smiled at Soda. "Don't worry, man. I won't tell Two-Bit that you cried like a little girl."

Soda snorted.

I rubbed his shoulder, as our mom used to when we were upset. "What happened, little buddy?"

Soda shrugged his shoulders and tried to turn away but I stopped him. I moved in close and spoke softly to him. "Come on Soda. Tell me."

Steve pulled a pack of smokes out of his pocket. He held one out to Soda, throwing him his lighter. Soda caught it and lit the smoke. We all sat there as Steve and Soda smoked in silence for a few minutes.

"Soda," I prompted.

Then Soda sighed and wiped his face again. "I don't know, I guess I had a nightmare. I was in the woods somewhere and Pony was calling for me, but I couldn't find him." He shuddered and looked at me, his dark eyes shining. "It seemed so real, Dar."

I didn't know what to say for that. I had no words of comfort for him. I didn't know where our brother was either and it hurt so much I couldn't breath.

Steve stepped up when I couldn't. "It was just a dream, don't read into it so much."

Soda sniffed and nodded his head. Steve climbed to his feet and pulled Soda up, punching him hard in the arm. "Now knock it off, let's go inside before someone sees us."

Soda returned the punch, harder. "You worried about your rep there Steve?"

Steve rolled his eyes and popped his collar. "Naw, just worried about yours."

Soda laughed and jumped at his friend, sending both of them tumbling to the ground. I sat there and watched as Steve grunted and kicked out trying to get out of Soda's grasp. I shook my head. Soda bounced through emotions like he did through life, he couldn't stay down for long. Though he was having a harder time coming back since Pony was taken. I worried that one day he'd fall down and never get up again.

Still, I'd seen his eyes. They lacked their usual spark. He was putting up a front so we wouldn't worry. I knew it, but I'd let him have it. We all were hurting.

The neighbourhood was still, no one was stirring yet. The sky was lightening, casting a gold hue over the small shabby houses, transforming them before my eyes. I watched it silently, ignoring the sounds of the scuffle behind me. Slowly the gold faded away, returning everything to the familiar that I knew. A phrase popped into my head.

"Nothing gold can stay."

"What?" Soda looked over his shoulder, bewildered. I must have said it out loud.

"Just something I heard from Pony. Nothing gold can stay."

"The kid's a real Shakespeare." Steve said, rolling his eyes good naturedly showing that it didn't bug him as much as it used to.

"He didn't write it, it's from a poem he likes." I answered.

Soda's face brightened. "Oh yeah! He wrote about it in that theme. He and Johnny liked it or something." Sodapop's eyes softened as he thought of our brother and our lost buddy. "He mentioned it a few weeks ago, that he thought the name of that lake was tuff."

"What lake?" Steve asked smoke hanging out of his mouth.

"The lake where the Donovans have…." He trailed off, his eyes unfocused.

I sat forward and stared at him as my mind filled in the blanks. I could see myself standing in the Donovans living room with Ponyboy and Sodapop looking at a family picture taken in front of a cabin at a lake. It had been our first visit at his foster home.

Ponyboy had brought it up a few weeks ago after Mr. Donovan had mentioned it to him. He'd been sitting on our couch.

"They have their own cabin. Can you imagine that?" Pony said.

"Sounds pretty Richie Rich to me." Soda called from the bathroom where he was washing his hands after work.

"Sounds like a lot of extra work, owning two houses." I called back over my shoulder from the stove.

Pony smiled his crooked grin at me. "C'mon Dar. Think of all the fishing we could do."

"And the hunting. Not that Pony here ever shoots anything." Soda said as he grabbed Pony in a headlock and messed up his hair.

I laughed as Pony wriggled out of Soda's hold. "I don't think anyone can get any birds with you around making a ruckus Sodapop."

Ponyboy moved over to grab the plates to set the table. "Plus it's on Gold Lake, that's a tuff name."

"Why is that, Pone?" Soda threw himself back on the couch kicking his shoes off, letting them fall to the floor.

Pony looked down and shrugged. I glanced over, and noticed that his ears were red. "Pone…?" I said in the tone that told him I wasn't going to let it drop.

He absently kicked the chair with his socked foot and muttered. "Reminds me of Johnny. Of what he told me…"

Soda sat up and we exchanged a look over Pony's head. Ponyboy didn't mention Johnny too often, we knew that it still hurt too much.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "That does sound tuff, kiddo."

He looked up at me with a grateful smile, his eyes so green. All I could do was smile back.

The memory faded and I wanted to hold onto it as I couldn't hold onto Ponyboy.

"What?" Steve prompted.

Soda turned to me. "Gold lake! They have a cabin on Gold Lake!" He said as he started to bounce on his heels.

I nodded my head, my mind racing. No one had thought to check there. The police didn't know about the place. They could lay low and stay out of sight since it was fall. I remembered that picture, it looked pretty secluded. It was an ideal hideout. Perfect place to stash a young kid away from everyone.

"Where's Gold Lake?" Steve asked, incredulously.

Soda paused, "I don't know." He looked at me questioning. I shook my head in return. I didn't know, but I was sure gonna find out.

We were all pouring over my dad's old map book when Two-Bit had crashed through the door.

"Rise and shine Curtis house!" He hollered, letting the door slam behind him. He froze when he rounded the corner, seeing us all huddled around the kitchen table. "Here I thought I was the early bird."

He moved to the fridge and pulled out the milk, taking a swig. "Use a glass, you animal." I muttered not taking my eyes from the map. Soda chuckled beside me.

He ignored me and strolled over to peer over Steve's shoulder. "What you fellas doing at the ass crack of dawn?"

Steve elbowed him in the gut. "It's 9am."

Two-Bit studied the clock on the wall. "You sure? I swear I just heard the rooster crowing just a moment ago." He threw his arm out sloshing milk onto Steve.

Steve bristled.

"We're looking for Gold Lake." I cut in, grabbing the milk out of his hand before Steve could lay into him.

Two-Bit eyed the map. "You fixing on doing some fishing?" He cocked his eyebrow at us.

Steve wiped the milk off his shoulder. "No, Soda here remembered the name of the lake where those deadbeats have a cabin. We think maybe they're stashing the kid there."

"Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! What are we sitting around here for?"

"We're just trying to find out where this goshdarn lake is. We've been looking all morning." Steve grumbled. "So far, we know it ain't in Oklahoma or Texas and we're searching Kansas."

"So the plan is to search these road maps to find this Gold Lake?"

"You got a better idea?" I snapped.

"No sir, just checking." Two-Bit sat down to help look and we all fell into silence again.

This felt like it was taking too long. It had taken a better part of an hour for me to climb into the attic and dig through the boxes to find these maps. I just felt like every minute we took that Pony was somehow getting further away from us.

"Found it!" Soda jumped up, his chair clattering to the floor.

I leaned forward to see. "It's in Kansas?"

"No, Colorado." Soda pointed to the corner of the map. "This page shows the border of Kansas and Colorado. Here it is, Gold Lake."

I followed his finger and sure enough there was Gold Lake. Using the scale, I did some quick rudimentary calculations, it had to be at least 12 hours away. That seemed way too far for a family cottage.

"It can't be right. There's no way it's that far." I said gently, not wanting to upset Soda.

"Ponyboy said Gold Lake." Soda said firmly.

I sighed, "I know he did but it doesn't make sense. What if we go all the way out there, he's not there and miss him if something happens here?"

Soda crossed his arms and his eyes became hard. "What if we don't go and he's there!? We have to try."

I nodded slowly. He was right. It was far, but not too far if there was even the smallest chance that Ponyboy was there. Still, what if the cops called with a lead and we were hours away?

"We can always get Tim or one of his guys to man the phone here until we get back." Steve supplied.

"Good idea." Soda smiled.

I nodded again. This could work. I looked at Two-Bit and Steve, silently asking them if they were in. Steve nodded his head in return.

Two-Bit clapped Soda on the shoulder. "Well y'all, road trip!"

The sound of a car coming up the gravel driveway pulled me from my daydream. I had been thinking about smoking. I could almost feel it. I'd take a drag and feel the heat of the smoke fill my lungs then exhale watching the smoke hang above my head before it faded away.

I sat up and stretched to look out the window, knowing that I'd only be able to glimpse the tops of the trees across the lake.

Downstairs I could hear Daniel shuffle towards the door to see who was here. I sat silently, straining to hear the voices. Maybe it was someone who could help me?

I let my mind drift to imagine the wanted familiar voices of my brothers or the guys. The bedroom door would slam open and Soda would be across the room before I could blink. He'd hold me tight and brush my hair back. Darry would be more practical, checking me for injuries before curling his hand around the back of my neck and bringing his forehead to mine. Two-Bit would swing me around making my head spin and Steve would give me a nod before clasping me on the shoulder.

The front door banged downstairs and Mrs. Donovan's reedy voice became clear.

I squeezed my eyes shut, letting the dream of rescue evaporate.

"And how has everything been honey?"

I couldn't hear Daniel's answer, his lower register didn't carry as well as Mrs. Donovan's.

"How has he been?" I could hear footsteps on the stairs and Daniel's answer was clear this time.

"He's fine, mom, but he wants to go home. Why can't we just let him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, he is home with his family. Once your father gets here, we're leaving."

I froze. Leaving? At least if we were here at their cabin then maybe someone could find us. Someone out there had to know that they had a family cottage. But if we left then how would anyone find me?

Somebody had to be looking for me, right?

The door swung open and she entered the room. I scooted back in the bed, feeling the need to put as much distance as possible with the woman.

"Hi baby, how have you been?"

"Awful, you kidnapped me and tied me to this bed." I snapped. "And don't call me baby."

She moved towards me ignoring my statement. "Don't worry, once your father gets here everything will be fine." She reached out to touch my face and I batted her hand away, recoiling in disgust.

"My father is Darrel Curtis and he was a much better person than any of you." I snapped.

Mrs. Donovan clucked her tongue. "You'll get used to it soon enough." She turned to leave.

Panic bubbled up inside me, bursting out. "Let me go!"

She whirled around and suddenly her hands were on my neck. I let out a strangled yelp as she squeezed and snarled into my face. "You are never leaving. My family will be together."

For a moment, I just stared at her crazed eyes, too surprised to move. Then fear began rising up in me as I tried to breath. I pushed her but her grip was firm. She tightened her hand and I dug my nails into her hand, kicking out with my one free leg. The kick only brushed her but she released me. I fell back on the bed gasping for air.

"I'll be back with dinner dear." She said lightly, then turned to leave the room.

I rubbed my neck and a chill went up my spine. I figured she was crazy but I hadn't thought that she was dangerous. She was volatile and I was no longer sure that I'd make it out alive.

Philip who was standing just inside the doorway watched her with wide eyes as if he was seeing her for the first time. He reached out and stopped her exit. "Mom, this is crazy. We need to let him go."

Crack.

Philip stumbled as his mother slapped him across the face.

"Don't you dare." She hissed. "You killed my son. You will not take this one away."

With that she stormed out of the room, pushing by Daniel in the hallway.

Daniel moved forward and reached out to Philip, who was staring vacantly ahead with his hand on his cheek. "You okay, man?" Daniel asked.

Philip's eyes snapped to his brother, he shoved Daniel's hand off his arm and left without a word.

Daniel watched the door for a long moment and I sat watching him in confusion. That was the second time she'd said something like that to Philip.

Daniel looked over at me, for the first time not with disdain. "There was a car accident…..it was raining and Philip was driving...Peter…" He rubbed the back of his neck. I wasn't sure why he felt the need to explain to me, I didn't really care about their problems. "Peter didn't make it."

As much as I didn't like the guy, I felt a little sorry for Philip. I knew the weight of guilt.

Glory, I could almost see Dally rolling his eyes at me.

You'll never change, kid. You need to get tuff.

I squared my shoulders and glared at Daniel. "That don't make this right."

Surprisingly, Daniel slowly nodded. "I didn't think she'd go this far. I didn't think it would get this bad…" He trailed off.

I cocked an eyebrow, Two-But would be proud. "You didn't think she'd be nuts enough to commit a crime?"

Daniel grimaced, then fell silent for a long moment before he set his jaw. "I'm gonna get you out of here."

I sat up straight. "Now?"

He shook his head. "I can't right now. They'll stop us. But I'll think of something."

"Thanks," I said. I couldn't help thinking that he should have had this realization one of these past 4 days when letting me go would have been easy but I guess it was better late than never.

"I'm not doing it for you. I don't need a new brother."

"Neither do I."

"Give me your home number and I'll try to see if I can get a call out to your brothers." I gave him the number and he quickly left the room.

I slumped back and rubbed my neck where I could still feel her fingers. A shiver ran through me. If Daniel could get ahold of Darry or Soda they could come get me and I could go home.

I smiled grimly, I'd like to see Philip or Mrs. Donovan try to stop my brothers from getting me. My brothers and the guys were good in a rumble and Darry was big. They'd save me, I just knew it.

If they could make it before Mr. Donovan got here and they took me away. Then I'd be lost in the wind.

I closed my eyes, blocking out that thought and prayed.

Thanks for reading!

jem.