We both stood in stunned silence for a full minute, and Sirius's eyes were widening.
"I'm sorry… if you don't want to it's alright, I'm sorry if I…"
I was shut up when Sirius pressed his lips against mine, and then my arms were wrapped around his neck, and his hands were on my face.
I had to lean down since I was taller, but I didn't care. I was closing my eyes, and he was closing his, and we were kissing each other without any thought of stopping, and I felt like I was on fire from how hard I was blushing, but my heart felt higher than it had ever felt in my life.
I wasn't sure how long we snogged for, our hands clutching onto each other, but when we pulled apart, I was worried it had been too long and Sirius hadn't enjoyed it as much as I had, but I was also worried it had gone for not long enough and he wasn't satisfied.
"I… you have no idea how long I've wanted that," said Sirius.
"God, me too…" I said, and soon we were kissing again, clinging desperately to each other as if we'd never get to see each other again.
"Wow," Sirius breathed as we pulled apart again, "Wow…"
"Wow," I repeated. "Er, what time is it?"
Sirius checked his watch. "It's past ten, we should go…"
"Yeah," I said, and we walked out of the cubicle, and we were lucky enough to not be caught, and we went back out into Hogsmeade street and rushed to Zonko's.
"So… how were your other plans?" James asked when we entered, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, good," said Sirius.
"So good that you're late," said James, grinning.
"We're only like… a minute late," I said.
"Yeah, yeah, OK…" said James, grinning even harder, "Come on, I found something really cool…"
"Hurry up, please! I'm busting!"
Sirius and I were panicking. We'd gone into the dormitory bathroom to have a quick kiss or two, and now Peter was banging on the door. We couldn't just walk out together, what two friends randomly hung out in the bathroom?
I looked around the room, trying to come up with a solution, and motioned for Sirius to say something.
"Just a minute, Pete, I'm constipated!" he cried. I tried not to laugh and decided my only options were to either hide in the bathroom, or climb out the window, and my stupid self decided on the latter.
I stood on the toilet seat and opened the window. Sirius realised what I was doing, and grabbed my arm.
"Please don't," he whispered.
"It's alright," I whispered back. "There'll be a ledge, I'll stand on that then come right back when Peter leaves."
Sirius contemplated for a second, but his thoughts were interrupted when Peter shouted, "Sirius! Please! I'm going to piss my pants!"
"OK, let me kiss you once more…" whispered Sirius, and I quickly stepped down from the toilet, and he kissed me, obviously intending it to be quick, but as if that was going to happen. We only pulled apart when Peter called out again for Sirius to hurry up. I smiled, then climbed back onto the toilet and clambered through the window.
I'd almost lowered my feet, but I stopped the minute I realised there was no ledge, so I had to grip the bottom of the window and practically jump until I was hanging by my hands, which immediately felt like they were burning.
"Oh, hurry up, Peter…" I muttered to myself.
Thankfully, I could hear Peter peeing, and eventually could hear him leaving and Sirius loudly telling him that James wanted to meet him in the common room, and I heard Peter go down the stairs.
"Sirius," I croaked, my arms shaking.
Sirius rushed into the bathroom and looked out the window and down at me.
"Oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" he cried, grabbing my hands and hauling me up, and I fell on top of him on the bathroom floor. "Oh, Moony, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have let you do that."
He quickly looked back at the dormitory, and once he knew the coast was clear, kissed me again.
"Your poor arms, are they OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "Come on, let's go."
I could barely stand. My breaths came out shallow and my vision was blurred. I reached up to the bed, but when I tried to get up, my legs gave way and I fell.
So, Madam Pomfrey really wasn't coming, then? I had told her not to, but some part of me thought she would still come.
I needed help, and I needed it badly. I couldn't stand up, I was temporarily half-blind, and I could barely breathe. I was going to die.
I felt around the shack, trying to find something, anything to help myself, but the fact that I couldn't even see my wounds didn't help.
I couldn't tell if the fact that I couldn't breathe was because of how much I was panicking, or because of whatever wound I had inflicted on myself.
I felt a sudden pain in my head, so I must have unconsciously fallen to the floor, and I was convinced that I died at that moment because my blurred sight turned to black.
"Moony! Moony, get up please! Please, please, please!"
"C'mon Remus…"
My senses returned and I felt someone's hands pound down on my chest, and my eyes flung open. James's hands were coming down and pounded on my chest again, causing me to let out a cry.
"Sorry!" he cried. "I was just… y'know, trying to save your life, and I didn't realise you were OK…"
I looked around. James, Sirius, and Peter were all sitting around me in the Shrieking Shack. I looked down at my chest to see they'd wrapped a bandage around me.
"I… thanks… but how did you… how did you get down… why are you all down here?" I asked, breathless.
"We went to the Hospital Wing to visit you, but you weren't there," said Peter, "so Sirius started panicking and led us down here, and there you were, lying on the floor."
"So, James, it turns out, knows CPR… and… yeah," said Sirius.
"Isn't that a muggle thing?" I asked.
"Yeah, but we left our wands in the dormitory, we thought we were just visiting you in the Hospital Wing, so we didn't think we'd need them, and I know CPR because my parents said it's an important life skill whether you have magic or not, and taught it to me a few years a go," said James.
"Anyway, Remus… d'you want to go back to the castle, or…?" Peter looked like he wanted to go.
"I'll stay here until the bleeding goes down, but you guys go if you want," I said.
"You two go, I'll stay here and make sure Moony doesn't die," said Sirius, and James and Peter nodded and left, and Sirius sat down next to me on the floor.
"Um, Sirius, when you went to the Hospital Wing, was Madam Pomfrey there?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said, "Why the hell was she not here?"
"I… I sort of told her I didn't need her," I said.
"What!? Why?" Sirius cried.
"I dunno, I regret it now, but she was blaming me for what happened to James a few weeks ago," I told him, "and I got mad, and told her I could just heal myself, I didn't need her, and she took it seriously I suppose since she didn't come this morning."
"That's… how could she blame you?" Sirius asked.
"Because well, my… people with my condition usually get a temper," I told him, "most of the time I can control it, but she thinks I'm this super angry, dangerous kid, and that I'm a bad person, and I know I am, but I try not to be…"
"You're not a bad person," said Sirius.
Yeah, for your information, bad people kill others, I thought, but I didn't say anything.
"Also, why weren't you trying to heal yourself?" Sirius asked. "Aren't there bandages and stuff in here?"
"I dunno," I said, thinking of what had happened, "I… I couldn't see, and I couldn't breathe, and… I'm sorry for being so dramatic, lying there…"
"It's not your fault!" Sirius cried. "You scared the shit out of me, though… when are you going to stop scaring the shit out of me?"
I laughed. "Maybe one day…"
"Well, the not being able to see thing, has that happened before?" Sirius asked, wrapping his arms around me.
"Er, no," I said.
"So… the transformations are getting worse?" said Sirius, squeezing my hand.
I sighed. I didn't want to admit it, but he was right. They were getting a lot worse.
"Well, it's OK, once we become Animagus it'll get better," said Sirius, and I looked at the floor. "You know, I think I want to become a type of dog. So, we're both types of dogs, you know?"
"Sirius…"
"And James is going to be something big, and Peter will be something small–"
"Sirius, I don't want you to become Animagi," I said. "Please. I hurt Professor McGonagall while she was in her Animagus form, I'll hurt you guys, too, I could kill you, I could…"
"Moony," said Sirius. "Professor McGonagall was one Animagus. A cat, for god's sake. Cats are small and pathetic. Why on earth she chose to be a cat, I don't know. But, as I said… James will be a big animal, I will be a large dog… the two of us together will be able to keep you calm if you lose control. And Peter's going to be something small, so he'll be able to get the three of us in by tickling the knot. OK? Can you just trust us on this, please? We think it will happen soon…"
I squeezed his hand. "Fine, but if anything happens, if any of you gets hurt, I'm…"
I paused. How was I meant to say, 'I think if I hurt anyone else, I would go to the ministry and get them to put me down because I'm a danger to society'?
"If any of you gets hurt, it's never happening again, OK?" I said, and Sirius nodded.
"OK, I'll take that as a compromise," he said. He looked down at the bandage on my chest. "Are you feeling any better?"
"Not really, but if you wanna go you can…"
"Do you want to go?"
"Well, yeah, but I just need to wait until I stop bleeding," I said.
"Then I'll wait with you, it's Saturday anyway," said Sirius, linking his fingers with mine. I placed my head on his chest and laid down. "Tired?"
"Mm," I murmured, pressing my free hand against my sore chest, and he placed his hand over mine. I closed my eyes, and the two of us lay there peacefully for the rest of the day in the dusty shack.
December arrived and so did the snow, and the chat around the school turned to nothing but snow and the upcoming Christmas break.
As far as I knew, my family was spending Christmas with the Potters, which James was happy about.
"And Peter, you and your family are welcome over, of course, and Sirius, you too," said James.
"Oh, I'm meant to go to my house, actually," said Sirius.
"What? For Christmas?" James asked. Sirius nodded. "Well… you have the mirror, so please contact me if you need help…"
"James," said Sirius, "There's still another three weeks before the break. It's OK."
"I know, but I'm still worried, especially after the wedding…" said James.
"It's fine!"
"OK, but promise me you'll make contact if anything happens?" James said.
"OK, I promise," said Sirius.
It felt like we'd been together for a year, not a month. I felt more comfortable around Sirius than I felt around anyone else in the whole world.
"Two weeks is a long time, Moony," Sirius said, sighing. It was the last day before the Christmas break and we were outside by the frozen Great Lake, alone because no one wanted to come out in the cold, and we were sitting close together to keep warm.
"Well, we'll see each other next year," I said.
"1975," said Sirius. "It's going to be a good year; I can feel it. The year of my sweet sixteen, I'll be with you… how much better could a year get?"
"1975," I repeated, nodding, and taking his hand.