Nen didn't take Rins advice lightly. He thought on it for a few days keeping it to himself before he had a plan but first he needed more information. The only person he knew who may have it was Riku.

The elder male had never made him nervous before so he did not enjoy feeling the squirming in his stomach or the anticipation that made his heart beat harder.

Willing himself to be calmer Nen approached the captain away from anyone else as they met on patrol.

"Nen." Riku greeted.

"Captain." Stopping in his tracks Riku did as well. "I need to ask you some questions that will help me make a decision as to what my next steps will be."

"Of course." Riku encouraged watching as Nen was uncharacteristically unable to stand still shifting from one foot to the next.

"In the south, do I have any pack left from my father?" He asked expectantly.

"Yes. Your fathers sister is still around. Where I cannot say, she lives more of a nomadic lifestyle from what I have come to understand."

"Does she have a name?" Nen pried.

"Lady Yoake."

"Of the southern house of the star?" Nen asked to confirm.

"Yes, once." Nodding his head he glanced away. "Nen, there is something else I have to tell you."

"Alright." Nen responded readying himself for whatever it may be.

"Lady Yoake is mated to my son Haru. She doesn't know either of you survived…"

"Worried I'll ruin your sons life?" Nen scoffed out.

"No. I was simply letting you know so when you do find her you will be prepared that Haruki will be with her and know that she is not expecting you." Riku stated evenly. "Whatever may be from there will be on all of you."

"I never said I was going down there." Nen said more softly.

"No. You didn't." Riku replied with a small shrug before walking past him. Waiting Nen lowered his head before looking up at the night sky that was shining brightly lighting up the darkness and he wondered which had his people followed.

The next day Nen spent extra time coddling his daughter after Jin left for the day. He bundled her up and walked through the woods stopping to show her something of interest before coming to the pond.

"I bet your father would like some fish. We haven't had any in some time." Nen said finding a long enough stick to sharpen to use as a spear.

Catching three of them he carried them back by hand and prepared them to cook. Taking Umi out of her wrapping he saw to her needs staring at her as she blew small bubbles between her lips and made an array of different sounds.

Once she was down for her nap he began to make a soup out of the fish with some leftover rice they had. By the time Jin returned home it was done. Walking in his eyes lit up at the wonderful scent of food.

"You cooked?" He asked surprised.

"No, our daughter did." Nen teased in answer.

"Right." Rolling his eyes Jin removed his armor and hung up his weapons before moving towards the hearth. "Then I guess I have you to thank baby girl."

Picking her up she cooed and smiled as he kissed her on the top of her head. Nen spooned out some of the food in a wooden bowl and poured him some tea as well. "I feel like I'm getting the royal treatment tonight. Better watch out or I may get accustomed to it."

"Mate, I will gladly cook for you when I return." Nen said deciding the sooner he broke the ice the better.

"You are leaving then?" Jin asked his gaze lingering on his husband.

"I am. According to the captain I have pack still in the south, on my fathers side. I want to meet with them and get any information I can about any of them."

"Alright Nen." Jin said softly. Placing Umi down he took the bowl that Nen had put in front of him.

"That's it?" Nen asked surprised at his submissiveness over the matter.

"What do you want me to say? I asked that you tell me if you were leaving and you have." He replied as if bringing the matter to a close.

"I was expecting a bit bigger reaction." Nen admitted. Placing the bowl down before eating anything Jin stared at him for a moment.

"I can make a scene; yell, cry, beg you not to go. That is what I want to do but what good would it do other than make your leaving harder?" Shaking his head Jin closed his eyes. "Just…tell me you're coming back."

"I am. I am not abandoning you Jin." Nen said. "I don't plan on being gone for long."

"And how long is that?"

"A year, possibly. I'm not certain. It depends on what I find and if I'm satisfied with it."

"So, what if you are satisfied with what you find and decide you would rather stay where you go? Then what?"

"No, that will not happen. Aside from the fact that I owe our lords and ladies an insurmountable debt for how kind and generous they have been I will return for you and our daughter." Nen assured. "I don't want to miss too much with either one of you. I know that if I take too long I will."

Looking down at Umi as she studied her own hands he stood and sat beside Jin. Placing his hand to his face to turn his head in his direction he placed his forehead against his. "I love you, I love our life together but I need this."

"I understand, I do. I want to go with you but it wouldn't be an ideal time for Nozumi. She is still so young and with the harsher season coming on it would not be what is best for her." Jin said softly. "Besides that, it may be for your best if you go on your own to find whatever it is you're looking for."

"Thank you mate." Nen breathed out. "I swear I will make it up to you."

"I'll start coming up with ideas of how you can." Jin stated taking Nens hand in his. "When are you leaving?"

"A few days time."

"Have you told anyone else?"

"Not directly. Rin gave me the permission with her blessing. Riku has an idea that I want too…"

"Your brother, have you told Jiro?"

"No. Apart from telling you it will be hard. We have never been away from one another and, while it will pain me to be away from you, the thought of not having my litter mate with me is a bit frightening."

"You need to tell him otherwise he will be hurt."

"I know. For now I want to focus on our days together until I do leave."

"I'm going to miss you husband. I will probably cry a lot over your absence and annoy everyone."

"They'll understand and be here to support you. If it weren't for any of them I wouldn't leave. I know they will help you while I'm gone."

"Yes, I know they will but…none of them are you." Squeezing his hand they stayed like that for a while before their daughter began vying for their attentions.

The following day Nen left the hut early on while his family was still asleep hoping to catch Jiro. Waiting outside of his own hut he felt that awful nervousness take over him at the thought of telling his brother his plans.

Bolting to his feet at the first sign of the door opening he took a steadying breath. Jiro quickly scanned him as he shut the door behind him knowing something was going on.

"Is everything well with you Nen?" Jiro asked straight away.

"I need to speak with you." He responded. "Not here."

"Alright." Following his older brother to just beyond the tree line Nen stopped and crossed his arms in front of him. With his back turned to him he saw him uncharacteristically seem nervous.

"Jiro, I'm going south to find out more about our fathers pack." Nen said quickly.

"Oh?" Jiro nearly whispered out.

"Yes."

"What about your mate and pup?" Jiro questioned.

"Jin and Nozumi will be staying here. Who knows what I may encounter or find along the way or once I get down there. I won't put them in danger."

"Nen, what are you hoping to find out that you already don't know?" Jiro asked.

"I need to know who I was meant to be." Nen stated.

"Are you so unhappy with who you are that you're going to leave behind what you have?"

"I am not leaving anything behind Jiro. I will return…."

"Once you're satisfied with what you find. Brother, you are never satisfied with anything. What happens if you don't find what you're looking for and spend endless centuries searching for something that isn't there?"

"That won't happen."

"Your mind won't allow that. One revelation will lead to another question that you will search out, then another and another…tell me I'm wrong." Receiving silence Jiro grit his teeth. "You could at least face me when you tell me this. Having your back to me, I have never known you to be so cowardly."

Turning slowly to face him he knew he had struck a chord in his brother.

"Cowardly? How dare you call me a coward? Everything I did was for you! To make sure you survived! I gave you food so you wouldn't be hungry while I starved! I covered you with my body to take beatings so you wouldn't be so injured! This person I am that I don't like is because of you Jiro! You made me become someone that I cannot stand!" Nen ranted.

"Then why did you even bother if I was such a burden to you?!" Jiro shot back.

"Because you're my brother! You are all I had left and I couldn't stand to see you suffering!" Nen shouted. "You were always whimpering, crying, seeking me out…what was I supposed to do?"

"Nen, I remember. Don't think for a moment that I haven't been ashamed for my inability to take care of us the way you did. I owe you my very life and I am so grateful for everything you did for me." Jiro said. "I don't want to fight with you. I apologize for making you feel this way and I will look after your mate and daughter for however long you are gone."

"Thank you." Nen said reigning in his emotions. "I know what I have here and will not throw it away. I will return in a year but I need to do this, for me."

"A year." Jiro repeated softly. "I had thought you would be here for when my pup is whelped."

"Please tell Sana I am sorry that I won't be. I care for her very deeply and look forward to the day I am allowed to bond with your pup."

"That will never be an issue. When are you planning to go?"

"A few days time. I need to let the captain and our lords know of my decision."

"Right." Sighing out Jiro closed the gap between them placing his hands to Nens shoulders. "I am going to miss you terribly brother."

Placing his own hands to Jiros shoulders he drew him closer to rest their foreheads together.

"I will miss you as well. Thank you for understanding." Nen said softly.

"Only a year. Any longer than that and I will go find you to drag you back to the west." Jiro smirked a bit at his words.

"I'd expect no less."

Once it was known throughout the compound that Nen was traveling the women got together to prepare supplies for him to carry in a pack to make his journey easier.

The day of everyone gathered at the front of the main house to see him off. Sesshomaru, Rin, Kohaku, and Izumi kneeling on the deck in their respective spots as the others stood down on the grass.

Sana was in tears almost beside herself as Nen drew her to him in a hug.

"Brother, please don't go." She sobbed out.

"I will come back sister. Don't worry." He soothed.

"Promise?"

"I swear it." He said honestly leaving no room for an interjection. Releasing her she stood beside Jiro who remained silent. Jin had already said his goodbyes over the last few days but now it was a reality, Nen was leaving.

Physically biting his tongue he held Umi tightly to him to settle his shaking hands.

"Nen, I do hope you find what you are seeking and know that we are always here. We look forward to the day you return." Rin said.

"Thank you my lady. I am forever grateful for your support and kind words. I will return to your service once I am done with my journey." Nen replied.

"We all look forward to that day." She smiled as she spoke making his unease subside a bit.

"Have a good journey Nen." Izumi offered. "My hope is it will be an easy one."

"Thank you Lady Izumi." Bowing his head to them respectfully he turned to look at Jin. All of his mates attention was on their daughter as he didn't want to meet Nens eye.

Moving closer to them Nen leaned down to their daughter nuzzling her face with his nose. Breathing in her scent for a moment he closed his eyes wanting it to linger as a comfort to him as he travelled.

"You should go. The day is getting later." Jin whispered to him. Straightening himself out he saw the unshed tears in Jins eyes making them almost shimmer. Leaning even closer to him Nen placed a light kiss to his lips taking deep inhales.

Kissing him back Jin closed his eyes spilling the tears down his cheeks. Breaking their kiss Nen brushed them away as he looked upon his husband with love before moving past him.

The children who were old enough ran about the grass chasing one another and ran around him as he walked towards the tree line until he was further than they were allowed to go before he was gone disappearing in the forest.