The corridor stretching ahead of you is dark and damp, with the faint smell of mold lingering in the air; looks like it's been neglected for a while now. The electric lights cast a dim glow over the faded greenish tiles, just bright enough to see your immediate surroundings. If this is indeed the 'true lab' Flowey was talking about, Alphys must have the eyesight of a cat - or spend so much time down here that she knows her way around by heart.
You step out of the elevator and look around cautiously. To your left, dusty black screens are built into the wall in a neat row. They're turned off (or just malfunctioning by courtesy of a tiny bone someone happened to slip into the right place), showing nothing, but you're pretty sure you've seen something similar before. You step closer to the first screen, searching for a button or switch, but find nothing of the sort. You narrow your eyesockets suspiciously. You have seen these screens turned on, you're sure now. You vaguely recall some sort of log written in glowing green letters, and an entry that was missing and then found someplace dark and forgotten, and familiar symbols that -
Entry number -
- SEVENTEEN -
The whole world goes black, and -
- PHOTON READINGS NEGATIVE -
- the man who speaks in hands -
- their bodies -
- YOU TWO THINK -
You came back to reality with a jolt and find yourself slumped against the wall, your injured knee threatening to give out on you, the screen barely an inch away from your face.
...What just happened?
You straighten up and rub your temples, irritated by whatever came over you just now. It's not even been a minute since you arrived and you already harbor a massive dislike for this place. You give up on the screens for now and decide to look for the save points. If there is indeed any here, and Flowey didn't just want to screw with you for the hell of it.
After some twists and turns, the narrow corridor abruptly gives way to a more spacious room. A weathered vending machine stands against the opposite wall, and next to it, there's a gigantic and rather important-looking safety door with four colored slots. You have no idea what might be behind it, but you have a hunch that given Alphys' anime-inspired logic, that must be your final destination if you ever want to get out of this place. It can wait, though; you still have some business to do. Maybe more than you suspected.
To your left, you immediately spot a familiar-looking, yellowish knot of light. The first save point in the area. If Flowey was right, the children must come across it at some point in the future, no matter how desperately Alphys wants to keep this place a secret. As you don't remember them mentioning the lab in any of the earlier runs, you strongly suspect that they've never been here before. Perhaps they must fulfill some obscure condition - like befriending Alphys - in order to get access to the place. Talk about a jackpot.
And the grand prize for friendship is an exclusive trip to a moldy, dark lab with a broken elevator. Enjoy your stay, kid.
You snicker at the idea and lean against the wall, weighing your options. On the one hand, if Frisk's indeed going to end up here sooner or later, your best chance at keeping them safe is to leave the save point as it is for now. On the other hand, that would mean that you must return to destroy it after the children are finished with their business, which is the very last thing you want to do. On the third hand, the presence of save points strongly indicates that there are enemies in the area. Possibly unknown to Frisk - maybe even Chara. Possibly more dangerous than the other residents of the Underground. Which, in turn, means that they're going to need the save points, no matter what you want or don't want.
You sigh, way too tired to get wound up anymore. Why does everything have to turn out to be more complicated than it already was?
Reluctantly, you take a mental note of the save point's location, leaving it in peace for now, and continue with your exploration. Prodded by the shadow of a memory, you decide to take the corridor to the left, and you're both satisfied and unsettled when you indeed find the row of sinks you suspected to be there. An empty doorframe opens to the north, darkness yawning behind it. Following the instructions on the sticky note, you turn on the tap of the third sink from the left, but no water comes out; instead, after some gurgling sounds, a key drops out into the bowl with a metallic clank. Its bright red color practically shines in the dimness of the place. You stare at it incredulously.
Way to make things harder for yourself, Alphys. And for the rest of us.
You pocket the key and look around in case you find something else that might be of use when you hear footsteps coming from the darkness of the room to the north. Not regular footsteps, but soft tapping sounds, like paws on the ground. The sound reminds you of something… well, something that you'd rather avoid, in any case. You duck behind the cupboard and keep quiet, peeking out from behind the edge. A single bead of sweat forms on your forehead as you ready an attack, and, finally…
- how many dogs this counts as -
...a small white dog prances out into the corridor, sniffing around on the floor. In its mouth, you spot something pink.
Oh stars. Finally.
"hey there, pooch," you grin as you emerge from behind the cupboard, relief washing over you. "care to give me my slipper back?"
The annoying dog looks up at you and wags its tail, but shows no sign of willingness to let go of its new toy. You conjure up a tiny bone and flick it as far away as you can down the corridor. The dog lets out an enthusiastic yelp and darts after it, dropping your slipper on the way. You swiftly grab it and wiggle it on, chew marks and all.
Ahh. Better. Not good, but better.
You decide to check out the room to the north while you can; as it turns out, it still has some lights on, so you can see the red slot built into the wall. You put the red key in, and hear a sliding sound; it must have been a door opening not too far from here. The dog gallops back to you as you step out, this time holding a shiny red orb in its mouth - your bone is nowhere to be seen - and puts it down at your feet, clearly expecting you to play fetch with it. You're about to throw it away to a safe distance when suddenly, you hear a gurgling noise from one of the taps behind you. The dog lets out a high-pitched yelp and leaps into your arms, making you drop the ball (heh heh), all but burrowing into your chest, slobbering all over your jacket.
"whoa there, tiger. or should i say -"
"Murderer."
The words die in your throat, a lightning bolt of panic hitting you, jolting you into action. Dog in arm, you twirl and find yourself face to face with something you have nowhere in the Underground seen the likes of.
Or rather something you have seen once, in a timeline you've nearly forgotten.
There are three of the abominations, floating in mid-air, their bodies a tangled knot of magic and deformed physical matter. Their voices are garbled and distorted, but you can still make out the words they repeat like a chant.
"- you killed doctor Alphys -"
"- you killed doctor Alphys -"
"- you killed doctor Alphys -"
They know.
How under the earth they could have found out, you have no idea, but they know. And that means they're going to rat you out, they're going to betray you, they are going to uncover your sins for the entire Underground to see, and that just cannot happen yet, it cannot, you must make everything right, they must be -
They must be killed.
You attack.
Your first instinct is always, always to attack, to get the first turn, to make sure they won't have a chance to land a hit on you. The dog lets out a frightened whimper and wriggles free, but you barely even notice it darting away into the dark. Your only thought is that your opponents must be stopped at all costs. You send a barrage of bones at them, your motions automatic by this point, and they tremble and quiver with the impact; however, they remain standing, as if your attack was merely an inconvenience. Your stare at their mangled forms, barely even resembling a living thing anymore, and it hits you.
They have determination.
You dodge their counterattack, your thoughts racing chaotically - and your magic fizzles out when all of a sudden, the one thought emerges that reminds you what you're here for.
You shouldn't kill them. Not in this run. Not now.
This time, everyone will live.
You decide to run. You focus all your power on the notion of escaping, feeling your determination struggling and pushing against theirs like waves of opposing energy, and in the next moment, you're free.
You flee. Where to, you have no idea, your memories have betrayed you this once. Your cracked knee pulses painfully, eventually forcing you to slow down to a limp. You wince and carry on, not looking back; the beasts might not even have taken pursuit, but you don't have the courage to glance behind you. As you turn the corner of the main hall, a doorway with a red emblem on it jumps out to you. With a last-ditch effort, you leap in and turn to slam the door shut, only to realize that it's automatic and cannot be closed manually. Grabbing the doorframe, you stare into the darkness, panting, waiting for something to jump out at you any moment.
Silence. The creatures are nowhere to be seen or heard. You might as well be alone. Except now you're perfectly aware that you're not. Far from it.
You slump against the wall, slowly sliding to the floor, feeling weak, maybe from the exertion, maybe from shock. You know now what you were so afraid of. Thinking about it, you remember that these… things weren't the only ones down here. You recall other half-recognizable figures, their bodies melted and broken.
Great. You're stuck in a decaying maze of a lab teeming with deformed monsters that have determination.
I hope you're happy, Flowey.
Just what happened here?
You think back to how Alphys injected herself before your battle. So that's what she was doing down here all this time? Researching determination by experimenting on other monsters? You don't remember Asgore making any public announcement about this; then again, you couldn't care less at the time, so there's a chance that you just missed it. In any case, this was probably not something they shouted about.
You know that the king has always been reluctant about killing humans, even if it never quite held him back in the end. It's more than possible that he assigned Alphys the task of researching something that a human soul might be replaced with. And your memories of the - the results of these experiments means that she showed them to you in one of the previous runs. Alphys, the most heroic of all cowards. Alphys, your only remaining partner-in-science.
Alphys.
Queen Alphys, more accurately.
- their bodies melted together -
She was staring at the ground, her claws shaking, then looked up, decided, determined to finally come clean.
"I… I c-committed acts… acts that I could n-never be forgiven for."
And yet, she was still forgiven for her sins. She was celebrated as a hero.
She was forgiven.
Pushing the memory away, you force yourself to get up, careful not to put too much weight on your injured knee. You must proceed with more caution if you don't want to get surprised like that again.
The next room appears to be some kind of dormitory, judging from the beds arranged in the middle. Alphys' experiment subjects must have become permanent residents of this place. In the far corner, you spot something twinkling; the second save point. Good. Easy peasy so far. The only question is, which one is the sixth bed with the key so you can -
Clank!
You immediately freeze, your pupils nearly going out as your foot bumps into something hard in the dark. You stand still for a while, listening intently, but the silence is complete, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you've been holding. Looking down, you see that you nearly tripped over an empty dog food bowl.
So much for being cautious. At least without a heart, you can't get a heart attack.
After some searching, you indeed find the second key under the duvet of one of the beds - thankfully, nothing jumps out at you this time - and, leaving the door to the north for later, decide to check out the narrow corridor to the right. It's not much different from what you've seen so far, except for a large set of mirrors covering the walls, probably to reflect the light and give the illusion of a wider space. Wisps of fog float in the air, obscuring your vision, but when you step closer, you can make out the long row of potted golden flowers lining the countertop.
They seem innocent enough, though you wouldn't call them pretty, not in this place. And they are definitely familiar. You've seen a large patch of them in the garbage dump, as well as in the royal garden, and the farthest room in the ruins. As far as you know, they aren't indigenous to the Underground. Asgore once told you, his voice somber and distant, that they were brought down here by his son just before his death, and, according to his last wish, his dust was scattered over the then-small patch in the courtyard. He didn't tell you why the prince had done it, and you didn't bother to inquire any further. You regret your indifference now, as the puzzle pieces finally come together, and your suspicions take the form of a tangible reality, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Because you're positive that you've seen this species somewhere else. Or, more precisely - someone else.
Flowey.
You remember killing him, you remember fighting him and defeating him, and, most vividly of all, you remember him begging for his life, his face so, so familiar for that split second that your resolve nearly wavered. Reminding you of someone. Reminding you of - his parents.
Asriel.
You know that a monster cannot absorb the souls of other monsters, just as a human cannot absorb a human soul. It's impossible, plain and simple. And Alphys must know this as well as you do. She must have known this since the very beginning of her experiments.
So then… What about a vessel that's neither human nor monster?
What about a flower, for example?
Your phalanges curl around the edge of the countertop.
Ever heard of a talking flower?
Ever wanted to tell us something, Alphys?
Ever wanted to confess your sins?
Your feel your soul shiver as the full scope of the situation hits you. Prince Asriel, coming back to life, long after he died, long after he was grieved for and left to rest forever. A being without a soul, but with the will to live - trapped forever in an existence he never wanted for himself. Looking for peace that he couldn't find even after death. The only one possibly understanding him his former friend who, in the end, decided to kill him.
The phalanx of golden flowers stands silent, hostile, guarding their secret. You lean on the countertop, your eyesockets falling shut. You feel so worn out, you're surprised you can even stay upright.
How has it come to this?
Monsterkind's history has been nothing but tragedy after tragedy. War, and bloodshed, and exile, and a prison of stone, dark and oppressively small. A human child, the first beacon of hope for a better future, and your prince, killed by humans once again, robbing you of hope once again. Lost children, wandering around in the Underground, slaughtering monsters in fear, only to get killed by your king in the end. And now, a human who has determination, forcing you to relive your memories again and again, and a demon who decided to entertain themself with watching you suffer, and a sadistic flower who once was a kind-hearted monster, refusing to fight even when it cost him his life.
Of course, this particular conundrum was Alphys' doing. Mostly. It would be so easy, so tempting to put all the blame on her. After all, she probably blames herself too.
It would be so, so easy.
Flowey's face appears in front of you, gloomy and hopeless.
"In the end… comes the emptiness."
You recall Chara's bitter words back in Waterfall, and you wonder if any of you even wants to be part of this world anymore. You wonder if the game has been going on for far too long now.
With considerable effort, you let go of the countertop, and gather your thoughts. It won't do to get distracted by something that happened centuries ago. You have a task to finish, a clear goal ahead of you. And that's all that counts.
Isn't it?
Returning to the dormitory, you go onward, determined to complete your exploration here. The row of empty black screens continues along the corridor to the west, as if they were following you, watching your every move. Following Alphys' notes, you indeed find the green key in the bathtub, and dearly hope that you haven't disturbed any hostile creature that might dwell in this place.
Entering the next room, you immediately know you've stumbled upon the main attraction. At least the gigantic machine hanging from the ceiling suggests as much. The dark, bulky form reminds you of your blasters, though it's considerably larger. It must be some sort of gadgetry for extracting or injecting determination, or otherwise messing around with souls. Unsettled by the sight, you turn away and see a small, shimmering star shining in front of you, blocking your way. This must be the third - and hopefully final - save point in the area. You step closer, reach out - and jerk back when the save point violently shivers and morphs into a mangled figure. You take a step back, your left hand ready to strike once again.
Another one.
"Welcome to my special hell."
The raspy voice reminds you of the creatures you met earlier; however, there's still a shred of familiarity in it. Her body looks like it was haphazardly assembled from random body parts, but you still recognize your opponent as Shyren's sister, thought to be falling down.
Lemon Bread.
*You hear the melody of pulsating flesh.
"Stay here with me…"
You dart out of the way as she lashes out, her fangs missing you by a hair's width.
"...and kill me ."
You inhale sharply, trying to hold it together. You're so used to fighting by now, your mind immediately starts calculating how to attack the most effectively, where to strike to weaken her immediately. You consciously have to force yourself to practice restraint and limit yourself to defensive moves.
"Just like you killed her..."
She remembers, just like those before. She knows. She must be -
No.
You mustn't attack her. You mustn't kill her. You must flee.
You focus your magic, gathering all your determination, trying to break free from the battle, but -
*- escape was impossible!
You feel cold sweat breaking out on your brow upon realizing you're trapped. One wrong move, and you're dead; and who knows if Frisk will have the opportunity to reset to bring you back this time. You cannot keep on fighting like this forever. You cannot dodge forever, especially not with an injured knee. And you most definitely cannot prolong your turn forever; you've already spent too much time here as it is. Desperate for a solution, you go over your mental list of actions and your soul trembles for a moment as you realize that there's still an option left.
Beyond what you've always done, beyond fighting and dodging and giving up and, ultimately, killing - there's still something you can try.
Something that you haven't done in a long, long time. Perhaps not ever.
You remember that Shyren enjoyed singing a duet with Frisk in some of the previous runs, and an idea comes to you. Maybe not the best idea you ever had, but still worth a shot. And when it's finally your turn once again, you opt out of fighting.
You decide to act.
Here goes… something.
You take a few deep breaths to steady yourself, clear your throat and, in an uncertain voice, start humming a tune.
Lemon Bread immediately perks up at the sound, her rhythmic movements slowing down a little. Your singing voice leaves a lot to be desired, to put it mildly (you've always preferred the trombone), but she doesn't seem to care. She hesitates, her movements slowing down, but she keeps her distance, eyeing you with distrust.
You take a step back to give her a little more personal space, and keep on humming. Lemon Bread trembles, watching you silently, delaying her attack.
And then she joins in.
It's no treat to your earholes by any means. Her voice is more like a high-pitched, shaky wail, with so much pain and longing vibrating in it that it hurts to hear. In her next turn, however, her attacks are weaker, more restrained, her magic focused on singing. Slowly, gradually, she seems to calm down, her voice becoming softer, gentler, her body swaying left and right to the rhythm. And in her next turn - she doesn't attack you.
It takes you a moment to realize that she doesn't want to fight you anymore.
So you spare her.
It's a strange, unfamiliar, uncomfortable move. As far as you remember, you've never spared anyone. Not monsters, not Flowey, and definitely not Chara. You feel out of your element, as if you were once again pushed beyond your limits and forced to act against your nature.
And yet… somehow, it's not all bad.
It's not all bad. There's something to it, an elusive emotion you can't quite grasp. You won without hurting anyone. You won without resorting to fighting.
You stand still in confusion, staring at Lemon Bread, trying to untangle your feelings. Placated, she gets out of the way, sliding away in the direction of the dormitory. Still rooted to the spot, you follow her with your gaze until she disappears at the corner. Hopefully she won't raise the alarm and send other residents - or, even worse, Alphys - after you. The last thing you want right now is to explain yourself to the doctor. You must hurry if you want to finish your business and get back to check if the save points are still at their place.
Shaking yourself up from your daze, you set out once again. You wander around for a bit undisturbed, coming upon another key slot - you take a glance at the video tapes and the ancient TV set and quickly decide there's no time to check out Alphys' secret collection - and finally reaching a dead end that looks like a pantry. The fog is much denser here, and you can barely make out the outlines of some refrigerators standing in a row. The last key must be either here, or at the eastern end of the lab. You look around, but aside from another lock to the north, you find nothing of interest. You cannot suppress a pang of disappointment - you were certain that something, or someone, was here.
So when you catch a glimpse of movement deep in the fog, you aren't surprised at all.
You turn around, preparing for battle. The door of the closest fridge opens with a creak, and a spindly, snow-covered figure falls out, nearly collapsing on the spot. She finds her balance with considerable effort, and blocks your way, panting heavily. You prepare to dodge, your entire body tensing up.
She doesn't attack.
She just stands in front of you, her breath weak and shallow, her magic attacks fluttering to the ground impotently. You recognize her as Snowdrake's mother, who's been suffering from a chronic illness for who knows how long now. She makes for such a pathetic, sad sight that for a moment, you feel the urge to step closer, to reach out to her.
*Seems like it's losing itself.
At the back of your mind, you're perfectly aware that you have no time for this. You must flee at the first possible opportunity. You must leave her to her suffering. It's not like you could help her anyway.
...Could you?
Before you can stop yourself, or even realize what you're about to do, you opt out of fighting once again. You don't know why you do this - you only know that you must do it.
"hey… um…" You clear your throat, feeling a bit awkward all of a sudden. "do you know what a snowman's favorite spice is?"
She cocks her head to the side, pausing her attacks for a moment, and looks at you with what's presumably a curious expression.
"Wh… h… what…?"
"... chilly peppers."
She laughs.
It's a weary, dry, broken laughter that's not even that far from choking; but it's still an expression of joy, no matter how lifeless; and it stirs up something in you, something timid and uncertain, something that you'd prefer to stay dormant. You remember Toriel's lame pun from earlier in the run, and how it coaxed a chuckle out of you even when you thought you were incapable of feeling joy ever again. In the next turn, Snowdrake's mother acts.
"Why did... the Gyftrot... give up on... redecorating... itself?"
Your blink in surprise. Did she just come at you with a joke herself? Now that's interesting. You shake your head and smile in a - hopefully - encouraging way.
"beats me."
"Because… it was… frost-rated... "
Your grin widens. Not bad, not bad at all.
"how do you call a second-rate reptile?"
"H… how?"
"a b-lizzard. "
She smiles and closes her eyes - if they are indeed her eyes, laying down her attacks. Encouraged by her reaction, you wink at her.
"gotta admit, your puns are very wintrycate."
She chuckles, icy tears flowing down her face, and this time her voice is stronger, more alive.
"Thank… you…"
And with this, the battle ends. She lurches away, still chuckling quietly to herself, stepping back into the fridge and shutting the door behind her. You swallow and turn away your gaze.
Take care… old lady.
You're so immersed in your thoughts, you nearly miss the blue key Snowdrake's mother has dropped on the floor. The final one. You step out of the room, only to find that the fog has gotten even denser, submerging everything into a dark gray haze. Irritated, you rub your temple with one hand. Just what you needed to brighten your day - getting lost while trespassing.
You try to recall where the entrance was, feeling your way along the wall, but you quickly get fed up with bumping into various pieces of machinery and furniture. There's got to be some sort of ventilation system here. Cautiously, making sure you're always touching the wall with one hand, you make your way to what must be the eastern end of the corridor. The last stretch is filled with such a thick fog that you might as well close your eyesockets, it wouldn't make any difference. Having reached a dead end, you feel around for some kind of switch or button, and soon enough, you come upon a conspicuous piece of plastic jutting out of the wall. Flipping it, you hear the reassuring whirr of the fans coming to life somewhere above you.
As well as another sound. Namely… barking ?
You turn around, expecting to see the small dog again, but the creature emerging from the fog towers over you, its legs and heads reaching out in every possible direction, sending drops of slobber around you.
*It's uncertain how many dogs this counts as.
Suddenly, a flash of Alphys' face appears before you. You remember her motions as she adjusted her glasses and gestured toward some kind of - some kind of monster -
"And th-this is Endogeny" -
You remember. You remember the dogs prancing around you, their ears flapping, their mouth curled into a, enthusiastic smile. They wanted to play. They wanted to befriend you.
You remember, and you know what to do. It's not easy, and it's not simple – it never was – but you still know you must do it.
You pat your uninjured knee, raising an encouraging eyebrow at the dogs.
"c'mere, boy."
With a small woof, Endogeny leaps closer and looks down at you with an expectant expression, wagging their collective tail vehemently.
"wanna play?"
They let out an excited bark, springing into the air, one of the legs nearly knocking your skull off.
"hey, i can throw you a bone if you're so eager."
Endogeny leaps at the bone you've summoned, catches it in mid-air, and returns it, dropping it at your feet. You sit down on the floor, leaning against the wall to rest your knee and play fetch for a while, until the dogs look contented enough to sit down next to you - though what constitutes sitting in their case, you're not entirely sure. You dismiss the bone and stretch your spine, preparing to get up.
"time for me to go, buddy. 'twas nice of you to -"
You stop mid-sentence as Endogeny yawns in your face and, showing no reservations whatsoever, shuffles up against you. You stay put, flabbergasted, as they get into a comfortable position, leaning one of their paws on your shins. They rest their head (heads?) on your lap, drooling all over your jacket, and let out a sleepy, satisfied huff. Soon enough, they are snoring peacefully.
You stare at their sleeping form incredulously, their side gently rising and falling to the rhythm of their breath. They don't show any sign of fear. They trust you.
You're keenly aware that you should leave this place as soon as you can. There's no time to waste. You have to finish the job.
The painful, high-pitched screeching of Lemon Bread echoes in your mind, gradually softening into a peaceful melody, melting into the quiet, resigned laughter of Snowdrake's mother. Slowly, hesitantly, you reach out and touch the tuft of hair on the dogs' head, your phalanges sinking into the soft white fur - and in that moment, you finally recognize that nagging feeling at the back of your mind.
Is this...
Is this what it feels like to… have mercy?
Your soul contracts painfully, trying to stop whatever emotion is threatening to bubble up to the surface. You expected many things happening in this run, all of them leading to something hopeless and bleak, with dust flying and swirling in the wind over a dark, barren land. But you never, ever would have thought that it would bring you here, sitting on the floor of an unkempt corridor, singing an out of tune duet with a siren, engaging in a pun-off with an old lady, petting an undetermined number of dogs - and trying to figure out just what the hell has happened that made you even consider doing something like this.
This cannot be happening. This is - this is not you. Not anymore.
What if I had…
For the first time, you can't stop your thoughts.
What if I had spared them?
What if I had shown them mercy back then, when the real nightmare was about to begin?
You look at the dogs slumbering comfortably in your lap, and think back to those old, old timelines when you still had a tiny shred of hope left in your soul, and you can't help but wonder.
What would you have done, Chara?
Would they have been surprised enough to accept it, at least for once? Being led to a more peaceful ending for you all? Would it have changed anything in the end?
Would it have changed what you did?
It wouldn't.
You know it wouldn't.
All of a sudden, you feel exhaustion pulling you down like a bag of rocks. You want nothing more than to forget everything and just have a nice long nap, dreamless and dark. You idly scratch the dogs' head, enjoying the touch of fur against your phalanges, listening to their soft breathing in the dimness of the corridor.
You must have drifted off because at some point, you become aware of someone watching you. Someone who, by all rights, shouldn't be here.
At first, you're too unsettled to turn to look at him. You know there's something off about him appearing here all of a sudden. There must be something - or rather someone - puncturing the timelines, criss-crossing them, tangling them into an undoable knot. You force yourself to look up and meet his gaze.
He's tall, even taller than Papyrus. He speaks in hands, but you understand him nevertheless.
"Hello, Sans."
In spite of the distortion, the odd glitches that surround him every time you feel his presence, his voice is still somewhat comforting. Reminding you of times that were - you don't exactly remember what they were, but simpler and happier, that's for sure. Not that that's a particularly high bar to clear.
"hey."
You don't know how to go on. Aside from some vague memories, you can't think of any possible conversation topics, and truth be told, you're not really in the mood for a chat right now. He stays silent for a long while, waiting patiently. Finally, you feel pushed to say something.
"so… where've you been?"
"Around," he replies, and you can hear the slight smile in his voice. "Normally, I keep out of the happenings here in the Underground. It's not especially comfortable or even viable to re-enter a world I left long ago. But when someone messes with the timelines, odd things happen."
You let out a derisive snort. 'Messing' doesn't even begin to describe the calamity that's become your life.
"I must admit, the whoopie cushion trick got me a few times."
"you saw it?"
"Sure I did. When someone can't do anything, watching is the only thing they can occupy themselves with."
You lower your head, avoiding his eyes, way too tired to keep up the charade. If he saw everything, so be it. It's not like you don't deserve his contempt.
"so you... know."
You tense up when you feel the gentle touch of one fragile, white hand on your shoulder.
"Yes."
He wants to comfort you. He knows everything you did, he knows of every single life you took again and again, and he wants to make you feel better. No matter how bitter and cynical you have become by now, it all feels like childish petulance in his presence.
"what brings you here, then?" you ask, your voice flat. "wanted to join the fun?"
"You brought me here, Sans. You remembered me. You think memories just disappear without leaving any trace?"
"never assumed such a thing," you say, irritated. "my main problem is my more than impeccable memory, thanks. and this lab apparently does a bang-up job of reminding me about everything i ever regretted doing."
"Sometimes, you need to remember the past to be able to get ahead."
"do you honestly think remembering has any use? do you think anything can salvage this fucking mess we've gotten ourselves into?"
"I don't know about that. But I know about possibilities. Timelines that didn't happen yet. Maybe they never will. And I have still seen them, Sans." He steps closer. "Close your eyes. I would cover them myself, but I'm afraid my anatomy renders me, let's say, unqualified for this task."
You snort in amusement and, just to humor him, do as he asks. It's not like he can show you anything to change your mind. You feel the world twist and shift around you, and when you open your eyesockets, you're not in the lab anymore.
You're standing in the Last Corridor, the sun outside shining, a warm amber light filling the room. You hear the singing of birds, and you smell the flowers blooming in the courtyard. It's a beautiful day outside, just like the day the demon decided to destroy your world for the first time; just like the day you lost all hope for yourself, for your brother, for monsterkind. But you sense that something's different this time; there's something in the air you've never ever thought possible, and when you lift your gaze, the fallen child is nowhere to be seen. It's only Frisk standing in front of you, their expression bright and innocent. And, somehow, you see yourself too, as if looking from far away; it's certainly you, but at the same time, not you. This you is different. This you is not a murderer. This you is friendly and helpful and genuinely wants the best for everyone.
This is not me. This cannot be me.
This - this has never been me. Never.
You see yourself look into Frisk's eyes and break the silence.
"...but you. you never gained any LOVE."
Their face is so determined, so full of hope.
"'course, that doesn't mean you're completely innocent or naive. just that you kept a certain tenderness in your heart."
The same hope that is pulsing in your soul, stronger than you have felt for a long, long time.
"no matter the struggles or hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing."
They nod, their expression humble.
You are so proud of them.
The vision shifts, and you find yourself in inky darkness. You're tied down by thorny vines, barely conscious from the pain, but you do everything in your power to block Flowey's bullets. You can't let him hurt Frisk.
You feel your soul getting torn out of your body, your hopes and dreams getting slowly syphoned away. But you're not alone. Frisk is standing in front Papyrus and you, dodging your attacks, talking to you, reaching out to you, setting you free. You're cheering them on.
The barrier is broken. You tease Papyrus about the mysterious thing that got in his eyes, and exchange silly text messages with Toriel, and listen to Asgore pondering if watching giant robots kissing is worth his time, and watch Alphys trying to convince him it absolutely is while Undyne is gazing at her lovingly. And you…
...you are happy.
We are free.
The vision blurs and trembles, and you gasp as you return to reality. He's still standing beside you, silent, waiting for your reply.
"why." Your phalanges involuntarily tighten around the tuft of hair, your voice strained. "why show me all this mushy stuff? you think i can make the human behave with an impromptu speech about love? you think there's any other solution to this than destroy them? to make them leave us in peace? to save everyone? it's a little late for that."
"I know," he says, his voice as calm as ever. "But it's not too late for something else to be done. Whether we remember it or not, there were more peaceful times, once, long ago. And this means there is a possibility of more peaceful times waiting ahead."
You don't believe it. You cannot believe it.
"Sans…"
You mustn't believe it.
"What are you so scared of?"
His voice is fainter, more distorted this time, like he's slipping away, out of your world once again. You don't have an answer. And even if you had, it would be something you'd prefer not to acknowledge. So you stay silent, weary and helpless, not knowing what you should do anymore. When you finally turn back to him, he's nowhere to be seen; there's only you in the corridor, with the dogs snoring quietly on your lap.
You must have indeed fallen asleep at some point. You sigh and, reluctantly, tear yourself away from the dream. It's time to return to reality. It's time to go.
Careful not to wake up the dogs, you shimmy out from under their limp body and get up. Reaching down, you pet one of their heads one last time.
"sleep tight, buddy."
With the fog cleared up, you easily find the last key slot and unlock it, earning yourself a satisfying rumble as the central door opens. Stepping inside, you're surprised by the dimensions of the room; it must have been filled with machinery at one point. On the opposite wall, you spot a generator and an electric panel with a large red switch, appropriately signed as the power control to the elevator. You let out a sigh of relief.
You can finally leave this place. It's way too uncomfortable for your tastes. You grab the switch to flip it when, from behind you -
"S-sans? What are you d-d-doing here?"
Well, shit.