I LUV SETH: Why thank you, XD. There really is nothing quite like a magic bike.
Koneko: I know all about that leftover quandry. Hell, even if it's two days old I'm still poking at it thinking that if I eat it in small amounts slowly I may not get as sick as I could if I ate it all at once. And god yes! I can't count the number of cuts and bruises I got trying to ride a bike. And of course it didn't help that I was learning on my friend's bike where the brakes didn't work. Not doing that again, a bike with brakes is a good thing.
moonstone glows: No... now you're hallucinating! Buahaha! ...ahem. And yeah, makes you wonder if they got to the restaurant and they ask "party of five?" and they're thinking "no, six... wait... where'd we misplace our colonel!"
MandaxPanda: Never fear, the weekend trip is nearly here!
luna moon girl: They enjoy having fun with each other, and just being together. Which makes it totally 'aww' worthy, the brats don't even realize how cute they are together.
secret25: Yeah, I do take time to update... unfortunately Friday is really the only day I have to myself anymore, and even then it's up to chance. But I'm glad you think it's worth the wait!
gali-o: Umbrella's are just strange contraptions.
B.D.: Heh, sounds like you're eager! I'm not complaining, XD. Yush... that's the big question right now, one of them, what will happen to them as far as an ending.
blackrose5130: You know, they really could do magic shows together. It would definitely look legit, everything considered.
black klepon: I research when I am curious... it's a habit XD. You have a fetish for ducks? That is... actually totally awesome XD. Ducks are adorable, and yummy to eat.
GreedxEd: Actually I thought nacho man was the best part XD.
Neenabluegirl: A magic bike with Ed yes, but why not add on a coach Roy while you're at it?
Barachi: Isn't it strange how a change of scenery... or perhaps a bit of peer pressure, can suddenly make you have balance on a bike? I swear the darn things are all about trying to fly and not fall.
Eli: Oh god, you're on a sugar high, save me! Roy is only optional? Ouch... I'll go tend to Roy's wounds XD.
SlythrinGurl: Why thank you! I'll gladly keep you on the rollercoaster in the dark XD. Just trust that I know where I'm going with this.
Spreilly Reilly: That's always good news!
Skrita: Thank you, I'm glad you gave it a chance and it panned out positively for you.
iStoleYourChips: ...I want my chips back XD. It's kind of nice in a way I think, that they're slowly getting together as they are. Because you're right, usually it's all about the "when will they get together", even for me, and to just sit back and let them develop this way because of what they see as barriers is just nice.
Shirosenshi Kisetsu: I'm glad you caught up to! And never to fear, soon you will know, next chapter.
Cheru-chan: I'm so glad your computer stuff is working again, have you managed to salvage any of your chapters/stories? And you have no idea how happy you made me when you said this story is like gifts on christmas. -hugs lots and lots-
MARYLOVER: Yes, it is time for that trip. And never fear, the slight showings of romance will be happening very soon indeed. They're to that point where they'd seamlessly start flowing into thinking in different ways about each other.
softdreamer: Thank you. And if you find it might seem slow to you, try putting on some fast paced music. It might help you get into a rhythm.
accident prone: No, you are not the only one thinking non-PG thoughts... sometimes it is just too easy with them to go "Yeah suuure you only want to sit and eat lunch in peace and quiet... the privacy is for?"
Soaha: And they can still seem manly at the end of the day! XD
elemental heiress: I should hold a private viewing of Roy's toy box. I think I'd have plenty of people sign up. That way you could get a good eyefull.
Greetings again everyone! I am here to announce that next chapter you shall all finally get one of your questions answered! Where are Ed and Roy going for their weekend trip? So keep your guesses firmly in mind.
In other news, there really isn't much. Besides the fact I've been swamped with work and college stuff. And tending to my poor car that got all paint scuffed and smeared when someone backed into me. Let this be a reminder, look behind you as you're backing up, everyone.
Now then, on to the chapter! I hope you all enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-Two
"Friday…"
Roy didn't even bother glancing at Edward as they walked along together across the sidewalk in the early dawn hours, making their way to Headquarters. He'd heard this 'Friday' nonsense with nothing further added for the past three blocks, and his curious looks had gotten him nothing more.
"Friday…"
But that didn't mean he wasn't about ready to begin wishing he could smack the ghost.
He managed to last it out up until the point they got past Headquarter gates, thereby sharply decreasing the number of people who might actually be watching him. And this early in the morning? He doubted anyone here early on a Friday morning would be feeling up to looking at him too closely.
"What the bloody fuck are you going on about?" Roy growled after another repetition of 'Friday'.
Edward was unconcerned about Roy's slight aggravation, only continued to look thoughtful. "Last day of this week that I can do something to Grand. Hopefully something debilitating enough that it'll keep him occupied while we're gone."
"The floors aren't carpeted." Was all Roy said in response to Edward's explanation.
At first, Edward was delighted by the idea that popped into his head, but as he thought about it, the more he began to frown. "I may be able to go through walls, and floors and such if we've seen them together, but that doesn't mean I can see the in-between. Pipes and such. I just seem to fall right through, like a strange crack in the rules."
"If there are rules governing this, I'd love to have a look at them. Make a few alterations." Roy grumbled to himself. "You were thinking about flooding the place somehow?"
"At least make it slippery."
Roy smiled, it was a simple plan, and if history were anything to prove, effective. There was a reason that 'Caution: Wet Floor' signs had been developed. "You don't need water to do that. All you need is a trip into Hawkeye's desk. So it's fortunate we're here before her these days."
Edward's frown made a comeback. "Why do I need to get into her desk?"
"She's a true markswoman," Roy explained with a nonchalant wave of one hand, "if I know that woman, and I do, she'll have at least a bulk pint of oil in her desk with which to clean her guns. And trust me, that oil will work far better than any water."
An instantaneous grin took over Edward's face as he regarded Roy with happiness. "I knew that I stay with you for a reason."
"Oh, is that the reason?" Roy feigned hurt as best he could, but ended up failing to restrain the entirety of his laughter.
And as soon as they reached the office complex, Roy wasn't the least bit surprised when Edward shot off to land on top of Hawkeye's desk and stare at him pointedly. But as insistent as the ghost was that he find this oil, and now, he took his sweet time sauntering over to the desk. Only because it made Edward glare at him.
"Now remember," Roy said as he finally reached the desk, stopping before it as he fixed the ghost with a stern look, "you can't be seen floating around with this stuff, so look before you go around corners to make sure you have enough time."
"Yes, yes, I know." Edward nodded his head along impatiently.
Roy merely smirked at him before stooping to begin rummaging around in Hawkeye's desk as unnoticeably as possible to find where the woman kept her gun cleaning supplies. And he knew he shouldn't really be surprised when he found them in the deepest drawer next to several cases of ammo.
Edward grinned gleefully as Roy pulled free the half-empty bottle. "This should work perfectly. I do hope he gets a concussion from his fall."
"Just make sure you do it in a non-suspicious area. Not too close to the door. And not too much." Roy informed him as he surrendered the bottle into Edward's possession.
Edward gave him a reproachful look, but smiled at him reassuringly. And quickly, so he'd have enough time to do this and not be seen as Headquarters became more crowded with officers straggling in, he darted off back into the hallway.
Roy watched him go with an amused shake of his head, and wished the apparition well before turning to make his way into his private office. He was determined to look as unsuspicious and busy as possible when Hawkeye would come in. He'd hate for her to pin the blame of her gun oil disappearing on him.
It had been at least three years since he'd gotten drunk and hidden all of her things in a scavenger hunt that had ended up… well, not quite as he'd drunkenly foreseen it going.
Meanwhile, Edward was quite cheerfully darting about the corridors of Central Headquarters.
At several points he had to bide his time, waiting for the path to be clear before he zoomed ahead, but overall, he ran into little in the way of difficulties. It was still far too early in the morning for most people to be here. Those who'd stayed overnight to work would be too bleary-eyed to think of getting out of their chairs, and the maintenance crew seemed absent in the area.
Not that he needed to worry about them. They knew he existed.
It was just everyone else.
But without trouble, he shortly reached Grand's personal office. And only taking a quick glance around to ascertain that no one was about, he poked his head through the door to be sure the office was empty.
It was.
A smirk beginning to crawl onto his face, Edward darted through the door. Once inside he began to take catalogue of the best potential places to lay the oil. A place Grand was sure to walk over at one point during the day, a place that wouldn't look too suspicious for oil to be found – which unfortunately wasn't many – but it did help narrow down the possibilities.
So floating over to the new chair that had been installed for the general, Edward flipped horizontally onto his back, and floated down to be able to see the mechanisms holding the chair together. He was only too pleased to see that the new chair had been well greased and oiled for the health of its turning apparatus.
"I think though," Edward chuckled to himself mischievously, "they might have oiled it too much."
Flipping so that he now faced down, Edward pushed down the tab of the lid to flip up the small spout from which to pour controlled amounts of oil. And paying careful attention to how and where he was applying the oil, he began to puddle some on the floor.
Only enough to do what he wanted, not enough to be just impossible for the cover he was planning for.
Setting the bottle aside, Edward lowered his right hand to the puddle to make contact with what he assumed was a wet, slippery substance. And with careful strokes of his hand, he began to spread it in a logical looking pool out towards the path he knew Grand would take to sit in his chair. Not a long one, but a decent length and size. Once he'd accomplished that he began wiping upwards and applying some of the excess onto the near legs of the chair and upwards along the supporting column until he reached the other oil and grease. Taking care to try blending the substances some, he finally pulled away with a satisfied smile.
It should work nicely.
And reverting back to not being able to touch inanimate objects, Edward watched the excess oil fall from his silvery hand. Only then did he grab the bottle of oil, recapping it. Then floating up he was about to leave when he gave the chair a bit of a thoughtful look.
Reaching over towards the back of it, he pivoted it just enough so that the hard, wood arm of the chair was angled more for where he hoped a part of Grand would come crashing down on. Any part would do. He just hoped the man fell forward and not back.
Although Edward found himself snickering to the potential result of Grand doing the splits.
He supposed, either way, he'd just be pleased the man went to visit the floor again.
Edward lingered only a moment longer before he began to make his way carefully back to Roy, he needed to get the gun oil back still. And then he could go back to watch Grand's little tumble.
He arrived back at the office before everyone… but Hawkeye, and he swore to himself as he hoped she'd go in to see Roy soon, before any of the others showed up and it became impossible to get the oil back unseen!
And at long last, just as he was thinking about going for it anyway while she seemed preoccupied, the woman rose from her desk to make her way over to the closed door of Roy's private office. Thanking no one in particular, Edward wasted no time in dashing for her desk the moment she'd let herself into Roy's office.
He could hear the two of them in Roy's office discussing something, but he paid no attention to whatever the conversation was as he darted around to the correct drawer and heaved it open. Quickly, before she came back and spotted her desk drawers opening and closing on their own, he put the oil back where it belonged before slipping the drawer back shut as quietly, but quickly, as he could manage.
Only then did he breathe a sigh of relief, especially when the woman appeared not seconds later.
Floating around her, Edward cast her a quick grin before darting through the closed door of Roy's office.
Roy jumped and swore, before shaking his head at his stupidity. He should be used to Edward zooming randomly out of walls and doors! And ignoring Edward's snickering at his fright, he leveled a lazy look at his silvery companion. "Is everything all ready then for your parting prank of the week?"
Edward sank down to sit on the edge of Roy's desk, his legs swinging back and forth through it. "As well as I could without making it seem too impossible to have happened naturally."
"Are you going to go watch?" Roy asked then, returning his attention back to the files on his desk.
"I want to." Edward shrugged, "I'd like to see for myself that he does get hurt, even if Maes will probably be in here within hours after to tell you about it."
Roy chuckled, that the man would. And he'd get absolutely no work done during that time. "Dare I even ask yet just how you're hoping he'll hurt himself?"
"I expect death is a little extreme." Edward sighed regretfully. "I'll settle for a concussion though."
Roy couldn't help but think to himself, 'of course you would', and with a slight smile he rather happily began marking up the file in front of him with harsh corrections to be made. And as he settled in to keep working, such did Edward settle in with a book to while away the remaining time until Grand was due to arrive.
He had extra incentive today to make sure all his work was done by the normal end of the day. There was no way he'd leave anything hanging for which he might have to spend part of his weekend doing. His weekend, this weekend, was for his trip with Edward. And he was determined that it would stay that way.
Edward was the last individual he ever wanted to break a promise to.
The clock on the wall had only recently struck the 7:52 marker, but it didn't matter. Edward was eager to waste not one second more, and zooming down through the air to discard his book on Roy's desk with a haphazard dog-earing of his place in the book, he was whirling away to make for the door when Roy's voice called after him.
"Have a good time!" As if Edward were merely going on a lunch outing with friends.
Edward shifted to float backwards through the air as he sent a bit of a grin Roy's way. "You know I will if he gets hurt. Don't wait up for me." And he fell backwards out through the door where he soon righted his direction of travel and headed off to Grand's office.
Still in the office, Roy finally looked away from the door. With Edward now fully gone, he leaned to the right to pull open one of his desk drawers and extract a massive rolled map.
The papers currently on his desk fluttered slightly in disruption as Roy snapped the map open and laid it across his desk. It was a complete map of the city; down to every last brothel, down to every last alleyway. Everything was drawn in and labeled. And on a good third of the map, the freestanding buildings had been marked out with a single diagonal line.
It wasn't that he was trying to hide what he was doing from the ghost, so much as he felt that right now, he shouldn't burden Edward with this any sooner than was necessary. He wasn't nearly to the point he wanted to be before he involved the ghost further with this vendetta to remove Brigadier General Grand.
Edward was doing nicely with his own devious ambitions, he didn't want to distract him.
And so knowing he had at most, five minutes left before Edward came crowing back, Roy picked up his pen and began to slash through several more buildings that had been ruled out as possible bases for this laboratory that Grand had in operation.
If Grand was trying to create a viable, true philosopher's stone, then he needed to stop him. And soon.
…because if Grand succeeded, and turned that stone on him, Roy knew very well that his life expectancy would drop sharply. And he couldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't allow Ishbal to happen again, but ten times worse.
He couldn't allow Edward to be left alone again so soon.
Closing his eyes briefly, he let out a slow breath. "At least Edward was able to tell me… and not let it come as a surprise." But he was still concerned on just how big a head start Grand had. He knew that the creation of the stone required a great many sacrificial lives... he could only hope that Grand was still shy even a hundred said lives. At least that would give him enough time to find where the hell the man was secreting this up at.
Making his last marks on the map, voiding out possibilities that Maes had told him were dead ends, he quickly rolled the map back up and stuffed it back away in his desk drawer.
It was time to get more paperwork done while he waited out Edward's return.
The ghost in question, however, was not planning on returning just yet, not when he'd just gotten himself to Grand's office.
And finding it still empty, and prepped as it should be, Edward floated over to sit on the desk and wait the last few minutes until his entertainment arrived. But just to make sure he kept himself occupied, he began to carefully flick through the papers on the man's desk, being sure to keep them as they were.
What kind of ghost would he be if he didn't engage in some spying every now and then?
But he hadn't found much of interest by the time he heard the door begin to open, and he quickly abandoned his snooping in order to float up off the desk.
Grand swept in only a second later, the door slamming shut behind him as he stalked around over towards his desk. Completely unaware of anything amiss in the room. He was far too preoccupied with glaring as he thought about the current issue facing him to pay attention to something as familiar as his office for the past many years. In his office, he was on autopilot.
"Bunch of incompetents." He muttered under his breath as he rounded about his desk to make for his chair, fully intending to flop dramatically into it and take his frustrations out on a stack of papers that he was fairly certain no one would miss if he shot them to smithereens.
And then, out of nowhere, his boot hit something slick, rocketing out from under him and sending him careening forward. The next thing he knew he was smashing head first into the arm of his chair, brain synapses firing a bit too slowly to cause him to react in time as his hands came much too late to the rescue.
And with a last crash, Grand's knees, having slammed down onto the same slick surface, shot out from under him backwards from the propulsion he'd hit the chair with, and he slammed into the floor violently enough to make his desk rattle.
The seat of the chair revolved around in a blur; and from above Edward had let out a victorious whoop.
"Now I can properly enjoy my vacation!" He cheered as he smugly watched Grand groan in pain.
And as the door flew open to admit the panicked secretary, Edward took his leave with a trail of laughter in his wake. He'd seen what he needed to. He knew he'd be hearing the diagnosis later today, there was no reason to stick around and watch the chaos unfold.
Not today…
He was too eager to get back to Roy.
And as he reached the main office, where Hawkeye and the others were working diligently – or in the case of Havoc, apparently taking a short nap – he smiled to think of the news that would soon be reaching them and livening up their monotonous day of paperwork… or work in general.
This time, when Edward zoomed through the door, Roy didn't jump, only looked up to see the brilliant grin on the ghost's face. "I take it things went well?"
"At the very least I gave him an ugly black eye." Edward revealed cheerfully. "I've never seen a person slip and fall that fast!"
Roy couldn't help but chuckle, finding it all too easy to smile back and revel in the ghost's happiness. And hell, he was happy too. It wasn't as if he had any love for the brigadier general. The man was now on his 'To Be Killed' list, after all. "You're a menace… not that I'm minding right now."
Edward grinned as he floated over to flop unceremoniously onto the left corner of Roy's desk. "You shouldn't, I'm doing this to try and help protect you. Keep him injured if I can." But then he sobered, his expression turning more serious. "You should know though, I think something is going wrong for him with his lab."
"That's good news for me." Roy frowned up at the apparition beside him. "What did he say?"
"Bunch of incompetents." Edward repeated promptly, and then looked out beyond the windows to the sky and the puffs of clouds cluttering it. "I doubt he'd be complaining about the convicts or other people he screws with… it could be possible, but I doubt it. To him they're just ingredients, means to an end."
"Then whoever is helping him." Roy filled in thoughtfully. "I wonder if the alchemists he's coerced into trying to produce him a philosopher's stone ran into a roadblock. Seems logical enough… I just am having trouble understanding what though." It wasn't as if a few more lives were that different from what they'd already been doing.
Edward began to tap his fingers against the desk as he thought. "Philosopher's stones aren't common. I expect that at a certain point, the alchemy might not be cut and dry. Transmutation circles can be altered after all, for power, or purpose."
Roy looked down, his eyes narrowed slightly in thought. He could only hope that the alchemists were having a conflict of conscience with what they were doing. But either way, if Grand was starting to have problems now… he knew they needed to keep working fast to find that lab. After all, Marcoh had gotten to a certain point easily enough… and that research was still out there in the libraries for those able to decipher it. Certainly Grand or another alchemist under the brigadier general's thumb could.
And he knew Grand wasn't the type to show the same interference of conscience that Marcoh had.
"I'll talk to Maes about it." Roy finally said in their lapse of thoughtful silence. "He'll be around soon anyway, and if there really is a problem… he'll be going back to the lab soon. Maes could trail him when he is able to. I have a feeling Gracia will understand."
Edward pulled his legs up to wrap his arms around them and clunk his chin soundlessly onto his knees. "Somehow I don't think it'll be that easy."
"I wouldn't consider him a worthy adversary if it were." Roy replied, and picked up his pen to turn back to his paperwork. "But have some faith, my team is good."
Edward worried his lower lip a moment before nodding and floating up off the desk with a sudden burst of energy. "Nothing I can really do about it right now. It's not as if I can follow him. Even if he can't see me. There're still too many places in this city I can't go."
"We'll keep working on fixing that." Roy promised with a smile. "But no, don't worry about it right now. Leave some of this up to Maes and I for a while. You're doing quite enough already with your work on slowly killing him."
"I am." Edward brightened at that, and still quite happy he floated upward in an arc to lazily coast through the air on his back with hands clasped behind his head. He was waiting for Maes to appear before he bothered continuing to read his book, knowing he'd have to put it down rather soon.
Roy looked up at him with a small smile, glad the ghost wasn't going to worry about it, before turning back to his paperwork. Sometimes he found himself wondering what it was like to not be bound to gravity as Edward was not, but he knew better than to ask the ghost.
As it was, the pair did not have to wait long for Maes to make an appearance.
The man strode over to Roy's desk as the door swished shut behind him, a suspicious yet baffled look on his face. And he didn't even wait for Roy to acknowledge him, falling instantly into the role of best friend instead of a lower ranking officer as he slapped his hands on Roy's desk. "They may all be saying it was an accident, an over-greasing and oiling of the chair by the manufacturer, but I know better."
Roy looked up at him blankly, blinking a few times for good measure. "What the hell are you going on about now?"
Edward was scoffing. "Give a ghost some credit, Maes."
"You know." Maes frowned at him in suspicion. "That Grand had a mishap with his chair and ended up with a fractured patella, cheekbone, and a black eye."
From somewhere in the office, Edward whooped again.
"Sounds to me more like the klutz should be more careful sitting down." Roy decided, before giving his friend a slight frown. "Why do you sound upset about it anyway?"
"I'm not upset," Maes corrected as he suddenly backed up to sit roughly on the arm of a couch with a heavy sigh. "I'm worried. This only started after you got us all transferred here. The man is blind if he thinks he can trust you, he might start believing all this has something to do with you, since the injuries first started in this office."
Roy could see now why Maes was concerned, they were valid concerns after all. "Then let him confront me about it if it comes to that." He said without a trace of anything but firm resolution. "But I am not behind whatever bad luck seems to be happening to him. And when it eventually comes to a fight, because I can guarantee you, this will end with a fight, you'd best duck and cover."
Maes let out a slow breath before giving the man a strained smile. "Just be careful, Roy. Whatever it is you're doing. I know you're up to something that you're not telling me about. Maybe you aren't behind the injuries, but I get the feeling you know who is. I'm not your best friend for nothing, you know."
Roy didn't deny nor agree, only gave a gentle shrug of his shoulders. "Just stay alert, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself." And not giving Maes a chance to comment one way or the other about his declaration, "and my informant has some news for me. Apparently Grand has been going around muttering about incompetence. He's getting frustrated by something, use it to your advantage."
Maes slowly stood back up with a weary seeming nod. "And you really won't tell me who is giving you this information?"
"No." Roy answered simply. "I'll see you Monday."
Maes knew a dismissal when he heard one, and really, it wasn't unexpected. He knew he needed to get back to his own duties, both as Roy's minion and in his regular work. And it seemed that Roy had firmly turned over that new leaf about wanting to get all his work done on time. "You sure you won't tell me where you're going this weekend?"
Roy's answer was to raise his left hand up off the desk – and Maes fled for it so fast that Edward was left staring in amazement as the door slammed behind him.
"I fractured two of his bones?"
Roy looked over at the silvery apparition who looked positively pleased with himself, and his smile slowly slipped into a grin. "You're more dangerous than I gave you credit for. Maybe I should watch out for you instead of Hazel."
"Don't patronize me." Edward scoffed through a return grin, and with a mutual laugh, they both turned back to other tasks in order to be able to leave at a decent hour today.
They were so involved that Roy in fact had Hawkeye bring him back something for lunch, as he didn't want to put it to chance that he'd cut he and Edward short on time. After all, they had a cake to bake tonight, they'd need plenty of time. Beyond that, Roy wanted to be sure he got plenty of sleep before their weekend trip that started tomorrow. And as he worked, he ate, while Edward continued to read in between bursts of laughter he was trying to subdue.
Roy knew better than to think that Edward was laughing at a very dry alchemy text.
Eventually Roy did finish his work, leaving them enough time for several rounds of chess. Two of which he was proud to say that he won, in between continuing their tradition of asking questions back and forth.
And Roy was sure there was something illegal about how smug Edward was when he still came up empty as far as the ghost's favorite dessert. He could only hope that tonight might provide him a hint.
Thus began the walk home.
And Edward was no less excited this night as he had been the last. "I haven't baked a cake in years!"
Roy knew how true that was, and he smiled as he continued to walk along silently. Needing to keep quiet for appearances, but amused all the same as he watched Edward bounce around through the air like a confused balloon with the helium escaping.
"And you'll see," Edward rounded on Roy, "ours will be better than that dumb thing you let me toss out before you even ate any of it."
Roy smiled a bit wider, giving a slight shrug just because he knew it would set Edward off.
"Don't you shrug at me! You know it will be," and then Edward paused to consider, adding, "mostly because I'll haunt your ass if you don't eat it."
Roy doubted he'd have an issue with either situation, though he would like some cake. It was true he hadn't had any of the cake he and that waitress had baked together, and it was just as true that he hadn't exactly minded. It was worth it to let Edward have dumped that cake, which he'd forgotten about anyway, in order to see that satisfaction on the ghost's face.
"And leftover cake will be good for you to take as snacks on the train!" Edward added helpfully.
Roy couldn't restrain himself from chuckling as he shook his head amusedly at the spirit. At this rate, he just might have to do some pushups over the weekend. He could already feel his abs wanting to flab as Edward continued on about cake.
When at last they reached the house, Roy let them inside before heading up to his room to change into something more comfortable as Edward zoomed into the kitchen with a one-track mind.
In his room, Roy was soon intercepted by Hazel as he pulled free a plain black t-shirt that he didn't care about getting dirty. "Hello to you too." He greeted with a grin as the squirrel leapt flawlessly onto his shoulder. "But I really do need to change."
Hazel was deposited onto the bed, and he sat there fluffing his tail and chattering to his human as Roy changed out of his uniform.
Once Roy had cinched and tied the drawstring of a looser pair of pajama pants, he scooped up the still chattering squirrel to deposit the rodent back onto his shoulder. "Don't tell me you missed me. Or do you just want food?"
Hazel's only answer was to begin happily grooming his human's hair.
"Well, let's check your food, but then you'll have to entertain yourself tonight. I can't bake and still feel as if it's sanitary if I have you grooming my hair and possibly shedding." Roy announced, and made his way down into the laundry room.
There Hazel eventually abandoned his perch on his owner's shoulder in order to dive with gusto – and the flying of several bits of food from the container – into his dinner.
Roy left him there with a roll of his eyes, muttering something about Hazel only loving him for the food. Not long later he found himself in the kitchen, staring around in surprise. Just where had Edward found all those mixing bowls?
"There you are." Edward turned to him with a grin. "Want to eat before we begin?"
"Leave you alone for five minutes…" Roy joked, and went to raid his refrigerator as Edward laughed.
"I was bored." Edward explained as he floated off after Roy as the man went to sit at the kitchen table with a plate of cold chicken.
Roy glanced back to see the orderly line of mixing bowls. "I didn't even know I had so many. Are we actually going to need so many for one cake?"
Edward smirked as he settled down on an opposite chair. "You've never made a cake like this in your life, Mustang. Better to be prepared. Besides, what fun is making a cake if you don't go big!"
Roy took the advisement under consideration, and worked on eating his dinner in between chatting with Edward about just what exactly he'd done to set the scene for Grand's latest graceful maneuver. It didn't take him too long to finish eating, and as he took care of his dirtied dishes, Edward whirled to go grab the flour out of where Roy had told him to look.
"Okay, Chef Elric," Roy said as he came to stand by the counter containing all the mixing bowls, "what first?"
Edward floated over with the flour and a wide smile. "We make the cake batter!" And he looked around curiously. "Where are your measuring cups?"
Roy quickly found them, as well as the tablespoon measures.
"Okay, so we need three and a half cups of flour…"
With that, a flurry of ingredient grabbing, measuring, dumping, and mixing began. And so far it didn't seem anything too terribly complicated to Roy, as he 'put his back into it' like Edward had demanded and mixed the thick cake batter with only a wooden spoon.
But those other mixing bowls and the addition of pans to his stove told him that 'terribly complicated' might still be looming on the horizon.
Once the cake batter itself was done, and poured into two prepared pans, Roy stuck them both in the oven before grimacing as he rubbed at his sore bicep. Stirring cake batter, of all things, should not be that taxing!
"We're not done yet." Edward smirked at the man as he tossed the container of heavy cream at Roy.
Roy quickly caught it before it smacked into the floor and sprayed the tile with a film of heavy cream. And straightening he arched an eyebrow at the ghost. "Where to and how much?"
"Two cups; in that pan there." Edward pointed. "And then while it starts to heat to a boil you can help me make the chocolate buttercream."
Roy grinned as he measured out the cream obediently. "Can I eat some of this buttercream?"
"I won't be able to stop you." Edward grunted in answer, but was smiling.
Tactfully, Roy left the heat rather lower than it should have been… a plan forming in his mind. "Okay, what goes into this chocolate buttercream?"
Quickly they worked together, tossing in the needed ingredients with flawless synchronization. They were both so accustomed by now to the way the other moved that it was easy to keep from stumbling, well, through each other.
And as Edward stirred up the chocolate buttercream, Roy lounged near the stove to keep an eye on the heavy cream as it heated.
"You know…" he began with a sudden teasing tone, "that one girl let me lick icing off of her fingers… and other things."
Edward snorted, directing a deadpan look over at the man as he stirred diligently. "Even if you could lick icing off my fingers, it wouldn't happen."
"So what about the… other things." He purred teasingly, a wicked grin on his face.
"You're starting early! The weekend isn't here yet, you don't get to start being "carefree" and a pervert and trying to fluster me until tomorrow!" Edward declared through a laugh and a matching grin.
"I'm not a pervert, I'm hungry! And that buttercream looks delicious."
Edward squeaked in laughter as he dodged the man who suddenly lunged for the bowl. "You and your appetites!" He admonished, before flicking the generously covered spoon at the man.
Roy laughed as he drug his finger through the chocolate buttercream smear that had appeared on his arm. One of many. And sticking the finger into his mouth he sucked and licked the delicious, creamy substance off with a groan of approval. "Fuck, Ed, that's some damn good stuff."
Edward smirked at him smugly. "Of course it is. I made it."
Roy drug his finger through yet another splotch of his being attacked with chocolate buttercream. "No wonder you said you like chocolate on your lover if it always tastes like this."
Edward burst out laughing, and zoomed around past Roy, easily dodging the lunge the man made for the bowl. Or him. It was hard to tell. "Your cream is about to burn!" He announced.
"Shit!" Roy quickly hurried back over to the stove to rescue the cream so that Edward could pour all of the buttercream into the pan.
"Now just stir it until it's smooth and set it aside." Edward directed with a grin.
Once he had done so, Roy turned back to cleaning himself off, licking off the chocolate buttercream that his fingers were gathering. "Do we need to do anything else just yet?"
"Not just yet." Edward smirked as Roy continued to lick himself, rather, his fingers clean as they continued to scoop up the buttercream he'd tossed at the man. "Do the virgins get to see you acting like a cat too?"
Roy paused mid-lick to a finger, and then grinned. "Mostly they're on the receiving end."
While the pair waited to be able to move onto the next step, being letting the cakes chill enough to be able to safely cut to size, and letting the chocolate buttercream frosting cool a bit longer, they got most of their mess thus far cleaned up, and prepared to fully dive into the next one.
And at long last when the cakes were cool enough to slice, Roy was laughing as he got the knife as Edward bounded through the air on a vicarious sugar high.
"Okay," Edward began as Roy hovered the knife next to the first cake and looked at him for directions, "trim them to about eleven by seven, and then you need one seven-inch square…"
Roy quickly began to trim and cut to the provided specifications. Not knowing quite yet just what Edward was planning, except an apparently tiered cake creation. And he grinned to himself to think of how oddly fitting it was that Edward would like chocolate tiered cakes.
He seemed the sort to like extravagant things sometimes.
Afterwards came the initial icing of the cake, and Roy passed Edward a spatula as well. "Come on, ghost, race you."
And with matching competitive grins, they dunked their spatulas into the icing and began to slather pieces of cake, smoothing out the icing, and then batting at each other's spatula in an effort to get back at the icing first.
It was during one of these sparring matches, that Roy realized something. But he didn't let his discovery keep him from forfeiting the battle until Edward had fairly won. And as he dunked his spatula into the icing, he fought not to burst out into revealing laughter.
And making sure he had a good glob of icing on the spatula, he flicked the utensil sharply in Edward's direction, splattering the ghost along the cheek and neck with the chocolate buttercream icing.
"Aha! Someone is being solid to inanimate objects!" Roy cheered victoriously, and then promptly abandoned his post with a shriek that he was sure had sounded manly as Edward pelted after him intent on revenge.
"Get back here!" Edward demanded as he darted after the man, the bowl of icing cradled firmly in one arm, his spatula digging for more.
Roy looked back, burst out laughing, and fled into the living room – which didn't occur to him as a dead end. And through many circuits of the living room he was forced to duck, dodge, and overall try and get away from a ghost hot on his heels with a relatively well-stocked supply of icing.
By the time Edward felt that Roy had been acceptably splattered in icing that was beginning to rapidly melt from body temperature, a good deal of the icing was gone. But neither of them seemed to mind as they returned laughingly to the kitchen to finish icing the remaining cake sections.
Roy tried not to flush at the fact that he'd not acted that juvenile in years… and it had been entirely worth it.
"Now what?" Roy asked as they finished icing all the cake sections, and having caught his breath.
Edward looked over with a smirk at the man still covered in melting icing. "We let them chill ten minutes, and then it's stacking and cranberry time!"
"Works for me." Roy grinned, and after they'd piled his fridge precariously with cake sections, he leaned back against a counter to begin trying to lick himself clean again. It was a shame to waste all the icing, as long as he could reach it, he was eating it.
Edward hopped up through the air to float gracefully into the mess of the counter and sit. "You're missing the stuff in your hair."
"Well I'm not licking it out of my hair." Roy informed him, "I'm not Hazel."
Grinning, Edward watched as Roy continued to try and clean himself as best he could. And propping one elbow on his thigh he rested his chin down into his hand as he watched Roy with a smile.
Roy only glanced at him once before turning back to what he was doing with a slight blush.
For Roy, ten minutes couldn't come soon enough, as he was battling to keep himself from blushing any further under Edward's warm, smiling observation of him. And as soon as those ten minutes were up, he was freed from the perplexing situation and thrown back into something more familiar.
"Yeah, that one there…" Edward was directing as Roy fumbled the cake sections, trying not to crumble them as he manipulated them into place. "And then this one. No, turn it a bit more towards me. Perfect!"
And just like that, Roy began to build their tiered chocolate cake. And when he'd set the last section, a mere two inch piece up on the top, he pulled away with a grand flair of his hands as he presented his completed handiwork to his best critic.
"It's awesome!" Edward grinned at it, before turning that grin on Roy. "Now we just need the cranberries!"
Roy stood back to observe the cake, one hand at his chin as he nodded sagely. "Yes, cranberries. There's too much brown going on here, we need some red to spice it up."
Edward sniggered, "you really are channeling the masculine part of your bisexual nature right now."
"Are you accusing me of sounding gay?" Roy arched an eyebrow at the ghost, a smirk tugging at his lips.
"Or you're just being your normal, idiot self." Edward proposed with a wicked grin, before ducking as Roy's hand swatted in his direction.
"Go get the cranberries, brat." Roy ordered as he turned back to observe the cake that stood nearly two feet high from the countertop. It wasn't as big as he'd been expecting, but it looked delicious. Running his tongue around his lips he could only believe that if the entire thing tasted as good as that chocolate buttercream icing he'd been attacked with, he wouldn't be minding the size of the cake.
Edward came over with the cranberries, several eggs, and the container of sugar tucked under an arm.
Roy quickly helped clear room, and soon Edward was whisking egg whites to combine them as Roy poured some sugar into one of his flatter, smaller mixing bowls.
And then Edward was dipping the cranberries in the egg white to coat them before plucking them out and tossing them into Roy's sugar dish to be coated; making them look as if they were covered in ice crystals.
"It's actually kind of pretty." Roy admitted as he helped Edward arrange the batch of cranberries on the cake, placing them strategically for aesthetic effect.
When they were done they both stood back to admire their hard work, and long work. A look at the clock told Roy even more than the darkness outside the windows did. It appeared as if he'd have just enough time to take care of the dishes and have some cake while chatting with Edward before he needed a shower and sleep.
And Edward helped with the dishes… although he was prone to flicking soapy water at Roy under the pretense of cleaning the mess he'd made of himself, and grinning when each time Roy pointed out that he was the reason for the mess.
Eventually Roy did get to eating a portion of the cake, carefully forking onto a plate the top two-by-two inch section and part of the one underneath. And he sat at the table, unmindful of getting melted icing on the chair as he picked up his fork and began to eat.
Edward didn't even see the need to ask how the cake was when Roy's eyes suddenly fell closed with a groan of enjoyment. But he asked anyway, eagerly. "So it's good?"
Roy cracked open an eye as he sucked every last bit of flavor off the fork, working his tongue slowly between each prong a bit, before going to stab off another piece, smiling at Edward as he did so. "Even the cranberries aren't bad. They go well with all the sweet."
Edward rested his elbows on the table, linking his fingers together to prop his chin in their weave as he beamed at the man. "Good, because you're eating as much as you can before you give in and bring the leftovers to work."
Roy looked affronted, "as if I'd share." But then he relaxed into a smile, "thank you." And he quickly took another bite.
Edward chuckled softly, still smiling at the man. "You're welcome."
Once Roy had finished his pieces of cake, he bowed out of the kitchen on the pretense of taking a shower. Thereby leaving Edward alone for now, in the kitchen.
Edward didn't move right away, but slowly he slipped up through the air to float over to where the cake sat on the countertop under the clear plastic cake lid that Roy had reshaped upwards with alchemy. And as he watched it he tipped his head with a smile, his silver fringe falling across his eyes momentarily before he brushed it away.
Casting the cake one last happy look, Edward darted up through the walls to Roy's bedroom.