Shirosenshi: Thank you! And you should be proud to be one of those who guessed right on this one XD.
Eli: You never fail to amuse me. And want to make me hug you. You're right though, Roy has got it soooo bad. You're about to see a bit more on just how much too.
Pyrozia: There will be more teary scenes coming up. In some ways I wish I could have let Al see Ed, but I just couldn't for a few reasons. At least poor Ed gets to know Al made it through.
moonstone: Embarrassing stories are fun! Unfortunately Ed has better control than to want to kill his brother, counter-productive much to his dismay.
SilverWhiteDragon: I can bet he'd be just a bit freaked out, only being told that Ed's there. Probably think Roy had gone over the deep end.
Echo in the Dark: Al falling for Roy would really irritate Ed to no end. He'd have to take action to making Al believe Roy is the worst sort of man ever. Or just kill Roy, which would be sad.
LadySorrow: I shall, as long as you promise not to die before the end!
itachigurlsaiyaku: Thank you, and yeah, I wish sometimes I could have let Al see Ed.
Hrethra: It would be, but he doesn't really notice it aside from the fact that when it's darker out he'll see Ed as having more of a glow to him. Ed isn't fully translucent, but in the open and in direct sunlight it would be harder to see him than if Ed was inside.
GreedxEd: You don't think Al could be like Roy? Probably a good thing, the males of the FMA world would never survive it.
Milky Etoile: You were right! And thank you so much. Yes, it is more realistic with a progression, instead of immediate lust or love. For more than the reason that one of them is a ghost. Roy is so set in his ways, and Ed has his values, that it'd have been even harder on them than it will be to form a relationship.
iStoleYourChips: Unintentional cliffhangers? Yay! I am proud.
Neena: Ed is a good older brother, always looking out for Al when he can.
IllusionOfAghony: Thank you!
Alyzabeth Tyler: To the Winry question, yes. To your other, you'll have to wait and see. That's one of those I'm keeping quiet about. But you're the only one who's asked it so far, which I'm glad someone finally did.
B.D.: Well get ready for some fluff upcoming XD.
secret25: Roy shouldn't influence anyones love life. In fact, Ed had better influence Roy's... before the man has an STD named after him.
MandaxPanda: You were right! Yay! And you know I can't tell you XD.
gali-o: Tehehe you're with Ed then? Don't want to even think about Al flirting with Roy? I admit I am so tempted...
Mary: Don't worry, Daphne won't stay gone forever.
Midorchi-chan: Her name will begin with a D... how did you guess? I've gotten lost in the wrong parking lot too... I walked around the entire outside of the mall before I finally found it. While I was leading my drunk mother. Forgetful leading the drunk? Recipe for some odd looks.
Barranca: Ed does have an influence on his wild side, that's for sure. But no, Roy cannot resist blackmail info. Not since he's spending the rest of his life with Ed, he'll need some.
black-klepon: I did see the Roy-stache... and I shuddered. My Ed muse also went and found a razor. The things they do to our favorite characters... first they blind Roy, then they give him a pimp-stache... poor thing is hated.
elemental heiress: Surely he wouldn't tell any incriminating info, and would keep it to just how Ed helped cows give birth.
Cheru-chan: Still too lazy, eh? Oh well. And I'm glad you love me more than hate me XD. Poor Al is having girl trouble... I think he needs to find Scar to chase them off.
luna: Al is adorable, it's no wonder the girls are ravenous for him. I would be.
Emotionally Unstable Fangirl: Only squealed? What shall happen this time I wonder... if I might suggest an excited scream that you can then pass off as having seen a ghost?
pretend to be a mortician: I'm glad I could too, the Al fans were about to jump me if he didn't appear in the next twenty chapters.
Shikamaru: I hope the wait isn't killing you too bad... one ghost is all Roy can handle at once XD. And thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Always Another: Isn't Grand being bashed around fun? I never did like the arrogant twit. I am more than happy to facilitate Ed harassing him.
So I had all these plans to tell you all what happened to me on Friday, as it was hilarious, I remember it being funny... and now I can't remember what it was! Ugh.
Right now the only thing fascinating I'm doing is glaring at my cat, who is the epitome of evil today... anyone want my cat? Oh! And watching swamp soccer, always good for a laugh. But hey, some more of Al! And oh Gate help my angst loving side, there's fluff too!
I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Twenty-Four
Edward was certain there had to be some sort of ghost cruelty hotline he could call to report what was currently happening to him. The only reason he kept from going in hunt of a phonebook was the fact that he could see Alphonse was clearly quite happy to talk, and Roy, damn him, was more than happy to listen.
And besides… it was humbling to hear about himself and his exploits from his brother's point of view.
"He actually stole something once too." Alphonse revealed with a nostalgic smirk.
Roy barely kept himself from giving Edward a raised eyebrow and a smirk of his own. Edward? Stealing?
"On a dare." Alphonse continued. "The other kids kept teasing him that he wouldn't, that he was too much of a momma's boy. So we all snuck down to the general store after hours, when everyone was asleep. Brother kind of failed at picking the lock, so being him, he kicked in the door."
Edward groaned.
Roy chuckled, "he was strong enough to kick in a door as a kid?"
"HEY!" Edward burst out in offense.
Alphonse nodded, cracking a bit of a smile. "We fought… sparred a lot together. He was strong, but never strong enough to beat me. But yes, he kicked in the door."
Edward scowled. "Oh I'll beat you now."
Unaware of the ghostly threat, Alphonse continued with his story. "So he ran in, and had to bring out something large enough for us to all share. But the owner of the general store, who lived in the apartment above it, had heard the door bust in, so we all hear the guy come running down the stairs, and Edward swore he heard a shotgun being loaded – "
"I did." Edward affirmed crossly.
" – so in brother's panic to get out, presumably before he's filled full of buckshot, he grabs this huge wheel of cheese. As if he thought that wouldn't be conspicuous." Alphonse sniggered. "The thing was almost bigger than he was. So there we all are, running out of the town, with brother carrying this huge wheel of cheese."
"I sincerely hope he tripped." Roy piped up with a low rumbling of laughter.
"It wasn't just a trip!" Alphonse crowed gleefully, laughing as the memory came back to him of his brother crashing face-first into a wheel of cheese. "We had nearly gotten back to the old fort, the one we all built together as our secret hideout as kids, and as we're nearly there all of a sudden brother goes flying, still clutching the cheese, and lands on top of it. The cheese had a slight imprint of his body left in it he landed so hard. It was brilliant."
"I've decided I hate my brother."
"Did you get caught?" Roy asked through his laughter. The mental image he was getting of Edward running with a wheel of cheese and tripping was just too priceless.
Alphonse colored faintly, and he gave a sly smile as he shook his head. "No. But our mother was rightfully suspicious of us when neither brother or I could stand the sight of cheese for about two months afterwards. We all ate the entire wheel of cheese that night! We thought the adults would come snooping around and find it and then we'd be in trouble!"
Roy sniggered, "I think you all having eaten the entire thing in one sitting would have been punishment enough."
"It was!" The sentiment echoed from both Elric brothers.
"So you all had a secret hideout as kids?" Roy asked with a fond smile. He'd had something similar once, but didn't all children have a place at one time or another that they liked to think of as their own secret hideaway?
"Yeah, there were six of us, including brother and I, and Winry." Alphonse smiled in remembrance. "We all built it together one summer."
"What about the alchemy?" Roy asked then, no longer able to restrain his curiosity. "When did you two start on that?"
Alphonse sank backwards in his chair, lips pursing in thought as he tried to remember. "Hard to say… I remember that before I'd learned to read that brother was already showing me how to draw a precise circle. It just developed from there. He was always better than me though. I may have won all our sparring matches… but he could best me in alchemy even on his worst day."
Roy wouldn't have expected anything less from the sons of Hohenheim, but he kept that assessment quiet. Besides, knowing Edward as he did, knowing how Edward had died, he wouldn't have needed to know who the ghost's father was to know that Edward had been a damn good alchemist. "Do you still practice alchemy?"
Alphonse's expression darkened, and he glanced down to stare hard at the floor. "Not if I can help it." And he pushed away from the table to stand up, going over to the oven on the pretense of checking the progress of their lunch, even as his hands rested heavily on the handle. "Understand something… my brother was killed doing alchemy. An experience like that kind of leaves its mark on you."
"Al…" Edward breathed, silver eyes filled with sadness for his brother. "Not all alchemy is dangerous." And he turned to Roy with a sudden desperation. "Tell him, Roy! Please! Tell him it's not all dangerous!"
Roy looked over at Edward since Alphonse was still busy, and he tried to soothe the ghost with a look before he turned his attentions back to the younger Elric. "Not all alchemy is dangerous. I apologize if this seems out of bounds for me to say… but I do not think that your brother would have wanted to scare you away from alchemy."
"I was never as obsessed with alchemy as he was anyway. It's okay, really." Alphonse replied, pulling their lunch from the oven.
Roy looked quickly at Edward for confirmation, knowing he could easily disguise his distraction as looking around at the décor.
"He's lying." Edward answered in response, meeting Roy's eyes. "He may not have been as good as I was… but I know my brother. When our teacher told us we couldn't use alchemy for an entire month, he was as aghast as I was."
Roy really needed to ask about this teacher, later. "You okay?" He asked though of his companion, quietly.
Edward gave him a small, grateful looking smile, and he nodded. "I am… I mean, I'm still a bit out of sorts. I still feel torn between absolute joy at seeing him, and wanting to cry in sadness. But I'm okay, I promise."
Roy gave Edward another smile, knowing that the ghost had been going through the ups and downs of emotion ever since he'd seen his brother again. He then turned to Alphonse, who had begun walking back their way with two plates of pizza. "Thanks." He accepted his gracefully, smiling a bit at the cheese beneath the pepperoni.
"Anyway," Alphonse cleared his throat as he sat back down. "Brother was good too… aside from the cheese theft incident. I think I got my love of animals, cats in particular, from him. He'd always find strays, and mom would never let him keep them, but I'd watch… and before he'd actually go put the cat back where he found it, he'd spend hours brushing it, and he'd give it food. He had a really kind heart. Even towards the other kids. Sure, he'd fight if it was called for, but otherwise he'd try and reason things out with them. Try and keep things from escalating. He was always trying to do things for others… never himself."
Edward looked down at the table, feeling the truth of the statement hit home. And he wondered now… had he ever done anything for just him? All he could remember of his life before he died was an endless stream of selfless acts… but what about his life? Was his life only meant to have been one of sacrifice?
Roy could believe it. But at the same time he knew Edward was different now. He was still kind, he was still caring, but Edward had a mischievous side to him now. There was a difference between stealing on a dare, and plain setting out to create mayhem among the masses – as Edward had done in two restaurants already. "He seems much like yourself."
Alphonse flushed at the compliment, smiling across the table at the man. "I guess our mom did a good job."
Edward could only hope, as Alphonse launched into another story, that his brother's little coloration just then hadn't been a sign he needed to dump ice water on his younger sibling. Roy was not the right sort of man for his baby brother, and while he knew that Roy was not being flirtatious, he sent the man a brief glare anyway. Just in case. But he kept holding out hope that Alphonse was just easily pleased.
He sat through the story though, without venturing to get ice water, as his brother and Roy talked over their lunch.
It was during a lull, in which Alphonse was taking the dirtied plates to the sink, that Edward heard Roy ask the one question he'd not been prepared for the man to ask. Favorite dessert? Sure. He was ready to have rained ghostly wrath down upon him for that. But this?
"What?" Alphonse asked, not having heard over the clatter of putting the plates into the sink.
"WHAT?" Edward echoed, slightly louder.
Roy nearly burst out laughing at Edward, but as it was, he merely smiled. "I was wondering if you have any family pictures."
Alphonse blinked a few times, face blank, before nodding. "Yeah. Of course. I'll show you if you're really that curious."
"I am."
"He's not!"
Roy stood up from his chair at the table, pushing it back in with his foot. "If you don't mind."
"Not at all." Alphonse shrugged and began to lead the way.
Edward watched, agape, as Roy turned to give him a wink before following Alphonse. And suddenly he was no longer frozen as he pelted after the two. "Alphonse! You traitor! Don't you show him those! I saved your life, you owe me!"
Roy, however, didn't propose a change of destination.
Alphonse was unaware of the ghost of his brother bobbing around him, threatening retribution, as he pulled from the top of a cabinet a framed picture, passing it to Roy. "That's all four of us, before dad left."
Roy took the picture in hand, noticing dimly that Edward had fallen silent, and turning it so he could look, he froze.
Edward could only bear it a few more seconds, before he turned and fled.
Alphonse frowned slightly as he watched Roy stare, not really understanding why the man couldn't seem to take his eyes away. "There are more around here, and in the album on the bookshelf."
"Thank you." Roy managed to say, his eyes still glued to the picture.
No, not the picture. To Edward.
For the longest time he had wondered what Edward had looked like in color. And now here it was before him, and it was everything he'd never expected. Having seen Alphonse, and having known Hohenheim briefly, he might have expected Edward to have the same dark-blond hair, the same amber eyes. But Edward surpassed that.
The silvery ghost had once been gold.
And Roy stared in amazement at the vibrant color. The child could have put the sun to shame. The blond hair was a pure blond that he'd never seen before, a golden blond. With eyes to match. He had even been tanner than the other Elrics.
Alphonse wandered over to Roy's side to try and follow what the man's eyes were looking at so hard, and he made an educated guess with a small "ah" of realization. "He got looks like that a lot. Brother was the only one I'd ever met who had eyes like that. You should have seen him when he was passionate about something, they were like…" he paused in reminiscent thought, "golden fire."
Roy roughly jerked his eyes away, trying to puzzle out to himself why Edward hadn't wanted him to see. It wasn't as if Edward had been deformed as a child. It was the exact opposite! So why? "It is rather unique."
Alphonse chuckled, drawing the picture out of Roy's grasp. "I'll get the album and you can flip through while I go work on some chores. I have Pinako and Winry coming over in a few days and I have to clean house. If you don't mind being left alone for a bit, that is. Otherwise you'll never get through the album with me trying to tell you a story for each picture."
Roy nodded, casting the framed photograph a last look as it was borne away before looking around suddenly for Edward. The ghost had been oddly silent. And it was with a start of something akin to panic that Roy realized Edward was gone. Not seeing him anywhere, Roy cast a worried look to the ground, tugging his lower lip between his teeth as he thought it out logically before he went into a panic. Edward hadn't wanted him to see… most likely the ghost had left in silent protest.
…he just hoped that was what it was. He had fears enough about Edward being gone, now that he'd brought the ghost here.
"Here." Alphonse said, offering out the album. "I'll be back in a bit."
Roy waited until the younger Elric was gone before he sat down on the couch with the album. "Sorry, Edward… but I have to." And he began to flip through the pages, smiling and laughing at some of the pictures of his ghostly companion as a child. Page by page he turned, his eyes always for Edward in every photograph.
Eventually he did come to the end… and what he believed to be the last picture of Edward taken before he died.
Carefully, Roy pulled it free of the plastic jacket to hold it in his hand.
Edward was still the same. Blond hair, golden eyes, and a smile that made him helpless to not smile back. Even if it was just a picture. Edward was happy… and Roy found himself leaning back into the couch cushions as he contemplated the picture, trying to imagine the older Edward he knew as still having that same blond hair, those same golden eyes.
And he smiled as he got a rough mental image of it, but he shook it out of his head.
Standing, he shut the album, setting it aside. And he stood there, the picture of Edward still in his hands as he stared down at it, before quickly, he tucked it into his back pocket.
After checking to be sure Alphonse wasn't around and was therefore still occupied, Roy slipped out of the house, knowing he needed to find Edward and ask him why. Why had Edward never told him?
He closed the door to the Elric home behind him quietly, before beginning to quickly look around. He hoped Edward would have had the sense to at least flee out here, where he wouldn't seem like a creepy stalker wandering through the house trying to find the ghost. And his heart beat a bit faster upon the thought of what if he couldn't find Edward… bringing those fears he'd kept quiet about back to the forefront of his mind.
But he tried to shake that off as he looked around quickly, scanning the area. This was no time for those thoughts… not yet. And then he saw it. Him. A silvery form, almost translucent, standing on a nearby hilltop. Before he could even register the will to move, he was making for the ghost at a run.
"Edward?" Roy called the ghost's name uncertainly as he slowed his approach up the hill and came to a stop mere feet behind the apparition.
Edward didn't look back, "now that you're over here I can see more. I'd forgotten just how pretty it was."
"It's the countryside, it's supposed to be pretty." Roy replied but came to stand next to Edward and look around as well with a contemplative expression. "I see what you mean though, it's nice here." And it was, but the scenery was not what he'd tracked Edward down for, and he looked over at his companion with confusion in his dark eyes. "Why did you never tell me?"
Edward respected both of them too much to try turning this, of all things, into one of their games. And he slowly turned to meet Roy's eyes. "You asked, more than once."
Roy nodded confirmation.
A flicker of remorse entered the silver eyes, "because I know how you feel about that color. About the sun. You told me once, remember? I'm not entirely sure why I wanted to hide it from you, but I think perhaps that I wanted you to appreciate me for me. Not because I'd once been blond."
Roy studied Edward for a moment as if he'd never quite seen the ghost properly before… and not in the way that Edward probably now thought. And so he set out to absolve him of those misconceptions. "Blond? Edward, that's like calling the sun blond."
Edward felt a small smile hide itself in the corner of his mouth.
"You were never anything so common as 'blond'." Roy continued on. "But I have to let you in on a secret," and a gentle smile began to slip onto his lips, "the moon isn't any less entrancing or beautiful." He said softly, willing Edward to believe him. "I appreciate you no matter your appearance, because sun or moon, you still give off light. You outshine them, you always have… because you're you, and I wouldn't have asked anyone less to stay with me."
For a time, all Edward could seem to do was stare at Roy. Aware that his words had hit a chord within that he'd never felt before, leaving him with mixed feelings of which he couldn't quite decipher beyond that at the same time he felt happiness, he also felt a confusing pain.
Roy tore his gaze to the side at the continued silence, sadness tugging at his mouth as his fears came bubbling back up to the surface. "You're not coming back with me."
It wasn't said as a request, or an order. But as nothing more than an embittered realization, a realization of a fear that had been prayed for not to pass. And it was what startled Edward back into the conversation with a desperate "no".
Yet that was hardly the full answer and too easily mistaken for agreement, and he plunged forward with a frantic undertone. "I will not stay." And as hope began to chase away the dark regret in the startled eyes that found his again, he shook his head. "I want to stay with you! Yes, this used to be my home. Yes, Alphonse is my brother. But it is no longer my home, it hasn't been since I died. My place is beside you." He told him passionately, willing Roy to understand why before, softly, he added, "when I'm with you… I have a home again."
Relief flooded Roy, a grin unconsciously appearing for a flash in time as ever-present self-preservation launched a last minute shield of caution against potential pain. "You're sure?"
Edward did not hesitate as a warm smile lit his face. "I will never willingly be parted from you in such a way. You asked me once, in true honesty, if I would come with you, and then later if I would stay with you. My answers were no less true than the questions that birthed them. I chose… I choose to stay with you, Roy Mustang, because this is what I want."
"This is what I want." Roy echoed softly, his dark eyes almost caressing in the fond way they gazed at the apparition at his side.
Edward's smile faded, but into a look more tender, more knowing, with no less affection. Off and on they had both once wondered why it had been Roy who could see him. But now? He was left wondering how he ever could have deserved him. He, who had committed an unforgivable sin and paid for it with his life. How was it that he could ever deserve to have Roy? But it did not stop him from being grateful for it… eternally so.
Roy cleared his throat as he glanced to the side with a smile playing on his lips before he sent a sidelong look to the ghost watching him with that same penetrating silver gaze that unnerved him, that made him feel as if his soul was being laid bare to his companion. But this time felt somehow different than before… somehow… warmer. "I should get back, I rather left your brother high and dry there. I'm sure he's wondering where I ran off to."
Edward felt his head automatically nod. "It wouldn't do for him to sneak up on us and see you presumably talking to yourself."
That got a short chuckle out of Roy as he spared the ghost a mildly amused look. "Always with my best interest in mind?"
"Don't flatter yourself." Edward replied back in kind. "I just don't relish the thought of spending most of my time with you in a padded room."
"Yes," Roy agreed, "how silly of me." And he half-turned where he stood, "coming?"
Edward shook his head and sighed from his nose as he turned his gaze back to the countryside. "I want to stay out here a bit longer. You go on ahead… doubtless my brother has fished up more old pictures of me that you'll want to view for blackmail. I'd rather not give him a heart attack by suddenly dumping the lot into the fireplace. I died to save his life, not to try and do him in later."
A fleeting grin came and went as Roy inclined his head shortly. "For what it's worth, despite what I said, which I wholeheartedly meant…" his dark eyes gazed thoughtfully at Edward, "the sun never had anything to compare to you."
With that, Roy had bowed out of the conversation and swiftly made himself scarce, leaving Edward to stare after him with a masked expression before an unconscious laugh made a brief appearance.
"I wonder," he mused thoughtfully, "what would happen to all those one-night stands if you were as honest about them as you are with me. Somehow I can't help but feel that if you were being honest with yourself you'd be able to follow through with it all."
Several minutes passed before Roy made it back to the house, finding Alphonse waiting there by the front door for him.
"I was wondering where you'd gone."
Roy gave a slight smile to the younger Elric. "I'm afraid the city has done its toll on me, I can't help but want to see a countryside of something other than buildings and homes."
Alphonse inclined his head in acceptance and mostly turned to go back inside. "I think you'll find a confliction of views if you ask the folk around here. Most of us growing up can't wait to get out of this place and try our luck in one of the cities. We would grow up calling it our prison."
Roy caught the door as he followed the young teen inside. "I grew up in the countryside too. I remember thinking like that once."
"Do you dislike Central, Colonel?"
"Not at all, I wanted to be transferred there." And he smiled in reflection, if only he'd known just how much his life would change once he'd gotten there. Would he have even believed it? "I'm glad I was… it was a long time in coming." …for the both of them.
Alphonse glanced over his shoulder with a shadow of a smile as he led the way into the kitchen. "That's a lot like how I feel about the move I'm planning on once I manage to sell this house. Trying to get it in my name is rather a lot of work, considering no one has proof one way or the other if my father is still alive. His name is on the title to the property after all, not mine."
"Wait," Roy interjected quickly, "you're moving?"
"Wouldn't you?" Alphonse arched an eyebrow as he picked up his coffee mug. "It'll be a long time in coming, but I'll be glad for it. Even this headache of trying to roll over the property deed into my name will be worth it to get away from this place."
Roy stared at the young teenager with a stunned frown. "You hate it that much here?"
The look of incredulity on Alphonse's face might have sufficed, but he didn't stop there. "I don't hate it, but how would you feel living in the house that your brother died in? Especially in such a violent way as that." His hands gripped the mug dangerously tight so that his knuckles swiftly turned white, and Alphonse's eyes had taken on a wild look. "I saw him being ripped apart! I heard his screams, and I could do nothing! There wasn't even anything left to bury when it was over. Just blood. Everywhere. Tell me, how can I stay in this house when it is home to a memory like that?"
For several minutes, several long minutes, Roy could not find the words to answer – Alphonse didn't seem to expect one soon as it was, for he was gulping at his coffee as if it were something stronger.
It occurred to him now that he'd never asked Edward for that much detail about his death. Certainly nothing that would have revealed what Alphonse had just told him. It left him with a strange unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach, one that made him feel sick without feeling nauseous.
"You can't." Roy's voice was quiet, almost as if he wasn't sure he wanted to be heard. But louder he asked, trying to steer away from furtherance of the pain he could see in the younger Elric, "where do you plan to move?"
Alphonse cradled his coffee mug between two hands again as he met Roy's gaze steadily. "I don't know. Anywhere but here. I'll find somewhere to start over again. Somewhere not too far… but far enough. I don't want to ever have to travel for too long to visit brother's grave. After all, I'm running away from this place, not from him." He looked around at the walls darkly while adding, "but if I had it my way I'd burn this place to the ground… unfortunately I need the money I'd get from selling it."
Roy nodded vaguely, a sad smile on his lips. "I hope you find your peace." And then after a moment's hesitation added softly, "I'm sure that Edward has. That he'd want the same for you."
"I know it." Alphonse raised his coffee mug in a half-hearted toast as a wry quirk of a smile tugged at a corner of his mouth. "He was a good brother, only ever wanted the best for me. Even when we'd fight."
It was true… far more than Alphonse would ever know. And Roy felt a sad wrench inside him that Alphonse would never know just how deeply his brother had loved him. Still did.
…it was not just anyone that you gave your life for.
"Do you want to see his grave?"
Roy snapped out of his contrite reverie at the question he'd not at all been expecting. He'd been instead suspecting that he'd have had to sneak out later that night to go find it. For find it he had wanted to… it was Edward after all. He felt he owed the ghost that much, that he'd visit Edward's grave. Uncertain but hopeful eyes were on him, and forcing his shock aside he gave a jerky nod of his head. "I'd like that very much… yes."
Alphonse smiled in what could almost be taken as a relieved fashion as he looked away to set his coffee mug down. "Okay."
The walk to the grave of Edward Elric was not a long one in matters of distance. Just around a bend in the road really, and then up a short, narrower connecting dirt road to the cemetery. It was a peaceful looking place, full of trees, and flowers. The picturesque resting grounds of the dead.
It reminded Roy of the cemetery his father was buried in.
But he pushed those thoughts away with a mental shake of his head. He was not visiting that cemetery now, and while it occurred to him that he probably should again soon, he knew he was here for Edward.
Of whom he hadn't seen when he had joined Alphonse on their little excursion. But he knew that just because he hadn't seen Edward yet, didn't mean that the ghost wasn't around. However he could hardly look around in all directions hoping to spot the spirit when Alphonse would have begun wondering what the hell was up with him.
"Just there." Alphonse said, pointing.
Roy followed the indicated direction with his eyes to see a headstone marker that was flanked by dying flowers, clearly in need of replenishing.
"I visit once a week." Alphonse continued on. "I would have brought new flowers, but I hadn't planned on coming here today."
Their steps stopped once they reached within three feet of the marker, and Roy let his eyes glance sadly over the inscription there.
Edward's name, carved eternally into the headstone. The proof of the short life just underneath. A flamel he'd never seen before carved at the very bottom of the lines.
He knew Edward was dead… had only ever known Edward as being dead… yet seeing it carved into a headstone he felt the gravity of it, the reality of it, hit him in full. He wavered momentarily on his feet, feeling disconnected and yet more painfully aware than he'd ever felt before.
"He was so young." Roy whispered as he continued to be unable to tear his eyes from the absolute carvings.
Alphonse's smile was pained, but long gone were the days where he'd cry every time he'd come here. "You'd never have known it. He always seemed so much older than he really was. He was a genius, maybe that had something to do with it. But genius or not, I still would have followed him blindly as a child. Questioning, doubting, but never for long."
Roy felt a bittersweet smile conceal itself as he found himself agreeing with Alphonse. Yes, Edward was that type. There were just times where Edward, without intending to, reminded him just how much of an adult he was. And yes, Edward was brilliant. "He was a good brother to you."
"Yes." Alphonse agreed softly, his eyes riveted as well on the headstone. "It's just so messed up," he bit out with a gasp of breath, suddenly rubbing roughly at his eyes before wrenching his gaze heavenwards in frustration. "No one should have to bury their older brother. The only thing left of their family. It's not fair, was never fair."
"No." Roy agreed, his heart going out to the younger Elric who he could see was now fighting back bitter tears, and probably near to drawing blood from the lip he was biting to stem it. "Death is never fair."
Alphonse shook his head wordlessly, giving Roy an almost tearful apologetic look as he turned to stride away. Presumably to compose himself again.
Roy watched him go until he was far enough away before looking back to the headstone and softly calling, "Edward?" And when no answer was immediately forthcoming, "are you here, Edward?"
When still he received no answer, Roy could only believe that the ghost wasn't there. With that in mind he took another step towards the headstone marker and eased himself down to crouch there comfortably, hands clasped in front of him limply as he gazed at the inscription. "I refuse to believe that you ever sinned…" he began slowly, passionately, "if what you did was a sin, then the world is fucked up backwards. You were young, torn with grief while trying to be there for your brother, you did what any driven, intelligent mind in your position would have done."
Roy closed his eyes with a quiet sigh. "And you sacrificed yourself, willingly. I just can't understand how it's a sin… at least I have the rest of my life to convince you otherwise."
Given time, Alphonse returned to Roy's side, and they stood there together in silence for a time, reflecting. It was Alphonse, however, who broke their joint silence as he glanced from the corner of his eye at the man beside him.
"Either you're a good actor at not seeming bored by trying to be polite, or you were closer friends with my father than you imply."
Roy looked over at him, confused. "What?"
Alphonse turned his head to meet Roy's confused look directly. "You look at that headstone as if it has special meaning to you. Either you're a really good actor, or… you weren't named Edward's godfather or anything, were you?"
Could a person choke on air? Roy believed he nearly found out. Edward's godfather? …Gate help him, there were plenty of reasons he'd never want that dubious honor. Nothing against his companion. "I assure you it is neither." And he looked back at the headstone marker with a wry glance. "I just can understand losing someone important to you. Someone you loved. Family." A somewhat sad smile twisted his lips. "It's not something you ever really forget."
Alphonse looked back with a similar smile. "I think had he lived, he'd have liked you." He gave a short laugh, "probably driven you mad while he was at it."
"Overly affectionate?" Roy guessed for the somewhat twisted sake of guessing in jest to an answer he already knew.
"You're both smart, strong alchemists, and willful." Alphonse gave another small laugh. "Definitely a recipe for a clash… but he'd have liked you I think. Deep down."
Roy smiled fondly, in a far off way as his gaze drifted to the wilting flowers flanking the marker. Yes, it was all so true. Alphonse had no idea. After all, Edward had started off moaning that he'd gotten stuck with an idiot. "Well, I've known your father. I know you… and so far I've been given no reason to believe that knowing Edward would leave me wishing it were otherwise."
No… none at all. If anything, he was forever wishing he'd never see the day Edward would leave his side.
They spent only a while longer there at the cemetery, and Roy followed Alphonse back to the house, still seeing no sign of Edward the entire way. When he'd been able to look, he didn't even see the ghost where he'd left him on top of that hill. He tried not to let it bother him, he knew Edward was around somewhere and that the ghost was safe.
Inexplicably, it did still bother him.
"You will stay for dinner, yes?" Alphonse asked as they entered the house once more.
Roy nodded immediately, "I'd love to if it's no problem."
Alphonse snorted in near-amusement. "Eating my cooking may present a problem to your bowels, but honestly I'd just like the company." He gave Roy a grateful smile, "it gets lonely eating alone as much as I do."
"Would you like a hand with the cooking?" Roy offered, casting aside the explanation knowingly. He knew how much emptier things had seemed at home when his father had passed away. At least he and his mother had had each other, and still did, but Alphonse didn't have anyone left anymore.
Hohenheim was missing in action, and presumed dead by his only living descendant. And even if Edward was a ghost, he was unable to be seen by his own brother. Alphonse was truly alone. So he didn't need an explanation for the invitation of dinner… none at all.
Alphonse brightened even more at the offer of help, "would I ever. Trust me, your stomach will thank you for it. I think the only reason I don't get food poisoning is because I'm used to eating my cooking."
Roy laughed and pushed up the cuffed sleeves of his shirt, "let's get started then."
And get started they did. Within minutes the stove burners were on, all occupied by something. One of the counters had been taken over by mixing bowls and a liberal dusting of flour. And as the tradition goes, when cooking with wine, drink the wine – there was more than one wineglass floating about, usually nearby the hand of its drinker, a layer of crystal condensation against the glass.
It was into this that Edward finally reappeared, startling Roy so much by his sudden presence that the man nearly fumbled the pastry cutter off the countertop.
"Careful." Edward remarked blandly through eyes that twinkled with mischief. "One might think you've had a bit too much wine."
Roy made sure that Alphonse was otherwise occupied before he glared at the ghost who only smirked back at him. But no matter how occupied Alphonse was, he dared not even try berating the ghost or questioning him in a whisper. So a good glare was all he could do before he got back to cutting the dough.
Edward chuckled and floated up to sit on the edge of the counter right next to Roy. But his gaze gradually drifted from his watching of Roy's ungloved hands manipulating the pastry cutter, and over to his brother who was tossing the green salad. "As much as you did this for me," he began thoughtfully, "I think it's done my brother some good as well." And he looked back at Roy with a smile. "Thank you."
Roy paused long enough to meet Edward's eyes, returning the smile as his lips moved in silent reply.
Edward smiled a bit more, and as Roy looked away again he too turned his gaze back, towards Alphonse. "He definitely looks happier as time goes by. It's hard though to see him like this, as happy as I am to see him again." The corner of his mouth tightened as his eyes grew distant. "I saved his life, but left him alone in the world. But he's alive…"
Roy looked up again to see Edward watching Alphonse with a smile so peacefully happy, yet sad, that he felt that something in his chest constrict. He realized in that moment just how much Edward truly loved his brother. He thought he'd known, but he'd been wrong. And the knowledge that Edward had declined to stay with Alphonse left him feeling humbled, and oddly inadequate.
Edward looked back at Roy now, realizing that the pastry cutter had been silent for several more seconds than any good pause for breath would have taken. The way Roy was looking at him made a lopsided smile appear as he reached out a hand to lay it just over the one still gripping the pastry cutter, not breaking their locked gazes for a moment. "I know what I'm choosing. I love Alphonse, I do. And it doesn't matter that he can't see or hear me, if I truly wanted to stay with him that wouldn't matter. But I choose to stay with you. Not because you can see me… but because it's what I want."
'Why', Roy couldn't help but mouth, stunned confusion in his eyes even as a warmth began to grow inside him.
"You know why." Edward replied gently, "it took two of us to get me out of that office. My reasons for wanting to stay with you can't be so different from the reasons you want me to stay."
Roy smiled then, a true smile as he tipped his head forward ever so slightly once in a nod. Still smiling he went back to work on the dough that had been neglected a bit too long now, in the process causing Edward to take his hand away. But the ghost himself remained sitting beside him on the countertop.
Alphonse remained again entirely unaware that he was not totally alone with Roy, and once he had finished setting the table he wandered over to assist Roy with the things the man allowed him to touch. The things Roy dubbed least likely to be at risk for food poisoning suspects.
If he could have seen his brother there, he would have appreciated the theatrics Edward was having to put on to keep dodging him whenever he'd get too close to passing through the ghost. As it was, Roy certainly was appreciating it, and he took great care in only smirking at the side of his mouth opposite Alphonse so the youngest Elric wouldn't notice.
"Can't you pretend you have a bigger personal space area than you do, just this once?" Edward had grumbled at one point, "as much as I love him, this is one of those times where if I still could, I'd knock him upside the head."
Roy had somehow managed to keep from laughing… and subsequently pretended that he hadn't heard the ghost's request. It made the whole situation even more entertaining.
When they finally sat down to dinner, Edward only just stopped himself from yanking Roy's chair out from under him the moment the man would have sat into it. Instead he sat himself in the air at Roy's side still grumbling – although the fact that he could be by Roy's side during a dinner that wasn't with just the two of them did much to brighten his mood. So often he was shunted aside just because no one could see him.
"I know this may seem like an odd request," Alphonse began as he picked up his fork, "but you don't have any stories of my father, do you?" And at the questioning and somewhat uncertain look he received added, "please? I know it must seem strange… he's left me alone in the world, most likely dead now. And I never really knew him. Still, I guess I'm just curious."
Roy forced himself not to look over at Edward to see the ghost's reaction to this. The unknown of it was fairly eating at him, but he only shifted in his seat once before nodding obligingly. "Okay then."
An almost excited smile lit Alphonse's face. Across from him however, a wall showed more emotion than Edward's expression as the ghost stared hard at Roy.
"This was before he married your mother I believe…" Roy began as he absently stabbed some salad onto his fork. "I first met him at one of the libraries in East Central, I had gone looking for a bit of research…"
As Roy continued to unravel the story to the rapt attention of Alphonse, in between eating, Edward continued to stare at Roy. The look in his silver eyes the only giveaway that he felt anything at all about the story Roy was telling. And as Alphonse laughed at a particularly humorous part of Roy's story he smiled a faint, sad smile as a wistful look flashed in his eyes before he closed them.
Dinner continued, barely being tasted as Roy continued to tell Alphonse about his father, and by default, Edward as well. Until at last the plates had been cleaned, and another story wrapped to a close.
"Thank you." Alphonse said with feeling as they began to wind down. "I don't want to tire you out telling stories all night."
Roy chuckled a bit, "it's not a problem. You have a right to know all I can tell you about him." And then he sobered somewhat as he gazed across the table at the young teenager. "Do you have ill feelings towards him at all?"
The question caused Alphonse to sigh and turn to staring at the floor. "Some. It's hard not to, I'm not a saint. But not really knowing the man, it's difficult to care too much. I like hearing the stories though, it makes me feel as if on some level I know him. I wanted to know him."
"The man I knew was a good one." Roy said honestly. "I can only hope that whatever caused him to leave was for the good of his family, not himself."
"A lot of good it did us." Came Edward's soft reply.
Roy didn't even think about it as his head snapped over in the ghost's direction, silver eyes pierced him instantly.
"Makes you wonder what could be more horrible than what he left us to survive with on our own." That drew a bitter-sounding laugh from him. "Survive…"
"Edward…" Roy whispered almost inaudibly.
Edward shook his head, "don't mistake me. I'm at peace with being dead."
"Roy?" Alphonse questioned as he looked back to see Roy raptly staring into space. "You okay?"
Roy held Edward's gaze a moment longer before with a slow reluctance pulling his attention back to Alphonse. "Yeah, sorry."
Alphonse gave a small shake of his head and stood up. "Since I doubt you want to help with the dishes, are you heading back to the inn? Or you could look at those pictures again, I don't know why they fascinate you so much," he began to laugh, "but you're welcome to be fascinated as much as you like."
Roy chuckled, wryly thinking that Alphonse would never believe him if he were to say why he had a strange fascination with pictures of Edward. He realized it could be taken as almost creepy, but luckily the fact that he had once known the boys father was on his side. "I think – "
"I'd like to see the workroom." Edward interrupted, turning his eyes onto Roy despite the fact the man wasn't looking his way, despite the surprise he could see being quickly mustered away. "My father's workroom, where I died. I'd like to see it."