Norah
She slept in. Then she stayed in bed for a while thinking about Lee. He'd taken off early the night before, and she wondered what had made him leave. She thought things between them had been sorted out, so why had he taken off? He wasn't up when she got home to ask, and she wondered why she even cared.
Her phone vibrated with a text. She read it. Rose was telling her how well Oscar took the news of being an older brother. Norah smiled. Her nephew was an old soul. She knew he'd be fine with it. She didn't stop worrying about Rose, though. She hoped her sister knew what she was doing.
She got up and decided to shower. After a few moments, she got blasted with cold water. She shrieked, knowing full well Lee had flushed the toilet on her again. She went from having good thoughts of him to being pissed at him again. When she was finished and upstairs, she glowered at him as he sat there innocently drinking his coffee.
"What?" he asked.
"You did it again," she huffed.
"You did it first," he countered.
"What did I do?"
"You had a shower at the same time I did," he said.
"So you just get even by flushing the damn toilet?"
"Yup," he answered with a nod. Norah narrowed her eyes at him. It wasn't the first time.
"Very immature," she pointed out.
"Payback's a bitch," he shot back. She huffed again and searched for her cigarettes. They were gone again. She couldn't figure it out until she looked at him sitting there and noticed the slight smirk on his lips.
"You," she said, pointing. "You're hiding my smokes."
"I did no such thing," he replied defensively. Rupert was trying to get her attention now, and Norah couldn't ignore him. She scratched the dog's ears while glaring at Lee. She hoped Sassy had kept him up all night again. As if summoned, her kitten appeared from the direction of Lee's bedroom.
"You didn't shut the door," he pointed out, seeing her too. "How many times do I have to tell you to do that?"
"I did!"
"Your cat says otherwise," he said, gesturing. She growled and grabbed something to eat before marching outside. She didn't want to be in the same room as him right now.
Joe
He pressed his phone closer to his ear when Norah answered. She sounded annoyed from her tone. He hoped he hadn't caught her at a bad time.
"Hi," he said.
"Dad, hey," she said back, her tone changing quickly. She sounded happy to hear from him. "How are you?"
"Doing well. How are you?"
"Good!"
"I'm guessing you heard about Rose?" Joe asked. He figured that's what his eldest had gone to New Orleans for, to tell Norah about the baby.
"Yes," Norah answered. "Crazy, eh?"
"Did you know she was seeing Mac?"
"It wasn't exactly a secret," Norah answered, sighing. "I don't know why she couldn't ever realize she deserved so much better than him."
"I just hope he doesn't want custody or something," Joe said, worried.
"I think he'll be relieved when she tells him the baby isn't his."
"But...it is, right?"
"Yes, but he doesn't need to know that."
"That's a bit of a game, isn't it?" Joe asked. "I mean, a father should know who their child is."
"It's really up to Rose," Norah said. "I wish I could talk longer, Dad, but I have to go."
"Okay..."
"Come visit soon!"
"I'll think about it."
"Love you."
"Love you too."
They hung up, and Joe twisted his lips as he looked at his phone in his hand. He hoped Norah knew what she was doing over there.
Caesar
"Date night?" Char asked, looking at him. "Really? Seriously?"
"It's long overdue," Caesar told her. She looked impressed.
"How did you get one of the boys to agree to watch the kids?"
"It's Norah, actually," Caesar admitted. "She's renting from Lee, and she's really nice."
"I don't know her," Char said. "I don't know if that's the best idea..."
"Lee's coming with her," Caesar said quickly. He didn't want to lose date night because Char didn't trust Norah. He'd talk Lee into it. He'd do whatever it took. He needed a date night with his wife.
"Oh, okay then."
He went over and wrapped his arms around her, pressing against her back. He kissed her neck softly.
"You gonna wear that dress I like so much?" he asked in her ear. She chuckled.
"I can."
"I'll dress up too."
"Hmmm, that sounds nice," she said, resting her hands on his forearms and squeezing lightly.
"It'll be like the early days," he went on.
"You don't have to sell me the pitch, Hale. I'm in," she said, laughing. He turned her around to kiss her, and he felt so grateful to have this woman in his life. Then the kids were hollering, and she went to handle the situation they were getting upset about. Caesar went to call Lee and thought of how he was going to convince his friend to tag along on babysitting duty.
Yang
He found Barney standing over his desk looking at a map. Yang felt a slight sinking in his stomach. Another job. So soon? He didn't feel ready after that last one.
"You wanted me?" he asked, making Barney look up to see him.
"Yea. I need a buddy to go on a recon with me," he answered. "Lee's got himself tangled up with babysitting tonight, so I thought you might like to go."
"Sure," Yang agreed. It was better than sitting alone and talking to the ghosts in his home, even if he wasn't ready to be shot at again just yet.
"You doing alright, Yang?" Barney asked, noticing his face.
"Fine."
He avoided Barney's eyes. No one knew. He wasn't the sharing kind of guy. He knew everyone had their secrets and pain, and he was fine to carry his alone.
"Well, gear up then," Barney said. "We leave in three hours."
"Okay."
He went to the "War Room" and started selecting his weapons, putting them into his bag. He thought about what it would be like to die. Sometimes he wished it would happen to him just so he wouldn't have to keep going on like this.
Toll
Victoria had gone out with Lucy, leaving Toll alone in his apartment. He decided to start reading the book Nina had recommended: Waking the Tiger. He got settled on the couch and discovered it contained very interesting material. It made sense. It applied to him. He didn't know what to make of that. The more he read, the more he knew that trauma had affected him more than he realized it had. He sat there reflecting until his phone rang.
"Vic?" he asked, answering it after seeing it was her.
"Nick," she said. "I need help."
"What's going on?"
"Please, just come," she said.
"Where are you?"
She told him, and he promised he'd be there soon. He hurried down the stairs to his car, feeling anxious. What had she gotten herself into?
Lee & Norah
Lee would much rather be doing recon than doing this. He'd caved because he couldn't stand the begging in Caesar's voice when he called to tell him he needed to come too. He also agreed to sharpen every one of his knives and would pay him 50 bucks. Norah had been a bit affronted to learn he was to accompany her, but she understood that Char had no idea who she was and needed a friendly face there too for peace of mind. When they got there, Norah instantly liked all of them.
"We appreciate this a lot," Char said as Caesar pried Sasha off his leg and gave her one last kiss goodbye. Will hung back, giving Norah a wary look.
"Go hug Uncle Lee," Caesar told Sasha as she tried to cling to him again. "You like Uncle Lee." She looked up at him with her big eyes as he walked awkwardly over to Lee with her attached to his leg. He pried her off again and tried to attach her to Lee's leg instead. Lee shifted quickly to avoid the little girl clinging to his still slightly injured leg. In the end, she stood there watching Caesar put his shoes on while holding Lee's pant leg of his non-injured leg in her hand tightly.
"Bedtime is 8," Char was saying now as she put on her heels. "Don't let them persuade you into giving them any sugar after dinner, and no staying up late." She was looking at Lee as she said this.
"It was one time," Lee said, holding up his hands.
"We've got this," Norah promised. "I'm a pro. I watched my nephew, Oscar, all the time."
"Splendid. Call us if you need anything," Char added as she put her coat on. Caesar mouthed "don't call us" over her head. Lee resisted laughing. He caught Sasha by the hand before she could run after them.
"Have fun," Norah said to them as they went out the door. When they were gone, she turned to the kids. "Okay, so who wants to tell me something really cool about themselves first?"
"I know how to make cookies," Sasha piped up, eager to share.
"You do?" Norah asked with a dramatic gasp. "Oh, I bet they're the best cookies ever!"
Lee couldn't help but watch her. She was a natural. The ease with which she got Will to open up and start talking about his Lego and whatever game he was into now was amazing.
"Come on," Will said now, tugging on her hand. "Let's play!"
Lee grunted from the impact of Sasha leaping into his arms, her shyness long gone. She hung off him like a monkey, giggling the whole way to the living room where he tried to shake her off over the couch. She only climbed onto his back and held on tighter. He didn't mind. If he wasn't going to get the chance to have his own children, he was going to enjoy these two.
Norah was familiar with Guitar Hero, and she had Will enthralled at how well she played. He was playing with her, and he soon wanted to know how to play on a harder setting. She made him laugh and cheer as she danced around while playing, spinning every so often. Sasha was spinning too and giggling. Norah could see that Lee was trying not to look impressed, but he was failing to do so. She was slightly dizzy after finishing a song, and she backed into his legs, causing herself to fall down onto his lap.
"Hrrrnggphh," he grunted upon impact, his hands grabbing her waist reflexively. "Are you trying to crush me?"
"Sorry," she said, trying to reorient herself. Sasha decided it would be a good game to use Lee as a trampoline, and she was landing on his head next. Will leaped into the fray not long after, and Lee was crushed under all of them.
"Mercy!" Lee was shouting, his voice muffled. "Mercy!" During the flying attacks, Norah had been pressed into his chest, and she lifted herself up while trying not to let the giggling Sasha fall to the floor. Will was still tackling Lee's legs.
Lee looked at Norah's face close to his, and he felt that feeling again. He struggled with it a lot, and he pushed it away again now. He wasn't going to feel anything for her. He couldn't. She'd only get hurt.
"Great googly moogly," Norah said, out of breath from the effort of preventing head injuries. "The kids seem to have won this round." Sasha giggled even louder. "But not for long!" She turned on Lee's chest so that her back was against him, and she caught a hold of Sasha and started to tickle her, making the little girl shriek with laughter and protests. With Will's help, she managed to get away, but the momentum of her leaping off caused Norah to lurch forward towards the floor. Lee tried to catch her, but he ended up falling off with her. They landed in a tangled heap on the floor, and both Sasha and Will ran away laughing at their own cleverness. Norah groaned in pain while Lee disentangled himself from her.
"Oh man," Norah said. "That was an epic fail."
Lee said nothing as he got to his feet. He extended a hand, and she took it. He pulled her up in one swift motion. She grabbed his arms as he steadied her on her feet.
"Thanks," she said. He gave a curt nod, still not saying anything, and let her go. She went to find the kids, who were trying to hide at this point. Their giggles gave away their hiding place, though, and she roared playfully as she revealed them. The chase was on, and Lee couldn't help but smile as he watched Norah imitating a monster while Sasha and Will scrambled to escape or throw pillows at her to take her down again. He swallowed hard as his mind flashed to a future scene of this being his family. The blow to his heart at the realization that it would probably never happen came hard. He struggled to breathe for a moment before he collected himself.
"Hey! A little help over here!" Norah called, snapping him out of it. He reached out and snagged Will as he tried to run past, and the game was on. Lee wasn't going to think about his future anymore. It was too hard, too painful.
He preferred staying in this moment because it was easier.
Gunner
He'd answered his phone when Toll called. He heard the urgency in Toll's voice and promised he'd be there as soon as he could. He didn't need to be asked twice.
When he showed up at the club, he saw Toll engaging in a fight with a big, muscular dude who was apparently trying to manhandle Victoria. Gunner did not like that at all. Two other guys were trying to take down Toll, so Gunner jumped in to help.
It was one hell of a fight, and the bouncers eventually showed up to break it up, and Gunner had a new shiner and Toll looked like he'd done three boxing rounds. Victoria was hysterical, and her friend Lucy was the same.
"Get the hell out of here before I call the cops," one of the bouncers ordered, and Victoria had grabbed onto Toll's arm and dragged him away. Gunner followed with Lucy, looking behind him as they went. No one was following, though. The girls were teetering a little in their heels, their sparkly, knee length dresses catching the street lights every so often. Victoria was in a black one while Lucy was in a red one.
"Son of a bitch," Toll was saying when they got back to his car. He spat out blood, and Victoria examined his face in her hands.
"What the hell happened?" Gunner demanded.
"These guys just decided we were going to go with them, and we said no," Lucy explained. Her blonde hair was pinned back, her skin almost ghostly white against the night sky. Gunner didn't think she saw the sun very much.
"So they got forceful?" Gunner asked, clarifying.
"Yea," Victoria answered, having released Toll's face. "They did."
"Assholes," Toll muttered.
"Can we just go home now?" Lucy asked.
"Thanks for coming, Nick," Victoria said. "I held them off the first time, but I knew I couldn't hold off all three of them."
"I would have come with you," Toll started.
"I didn't think we'd need a bodyguard at a club," she cut him off. "It's okay, Nick. It's over now."
Gunner stood off to the side, feeling out of place. Victoria noticed him and moved to hug him. He hugged her back, feeling conflicted inside again. Toll cleared his throat, and Gunner let her go quickly.
"Thanks for coming too," Victoria said to him with a small smile. He just nodded back.
"You good?" he asked Toll.
"Yea. Thanks, man."
"No problem."
Gunner offered to drive Lucy home, but she wanted to stick with Victoria for now. Knowing he was no longer needed, he went back to his room at Tool's. He was alone there, and he felt lonely. He wondered what Norah was up to with the kids. He wondered if Lee was making moves on her yet. He'd seen the way Lee had held Norah's hand the night before. He wasn't stupid. He knew Lee was feeling something for Norah. It just depended if he wanted to act on it or not. Gunner also knew Toll had an interest in Norah. He wasn't exactly hiding it with the way he would smile at her. Gunner liked Norah, but he also liked Victoria. He didn't know what to do. He decided that he would just let things play out, and whichever direction things went, he'd go.
Lee
The kids were in bed, and he'd sat enthralled while Norah told Will a story of the Lobster Man (she'd known better than to tell it to Sasha. She got a story about fairies instead). She had him feeling shivers by the time she was done, and Will was begging for more. She promised next time, and he'd agreed after showing his disappointment through his vocalizing and sad face.
Now, Lee was sitting beside Norah on the couch and feeling himself wanting to talk to her, to share things with her. He hadn't felt the desire to do that with anyone in a very long time. His judgment was telling him to not do it, but his heart was saying another thing.
"What's your fancy?" she asked, going through the movie channels. "Action, right?"
"Whatever," he answered.
"Chick flick it is," she chuckled.
"Contrary to what you think, not all guys hate a good drama," Lee pointed out. She raised a brow at him without saying anything before turning back to the TV.
"Ugh, nothing really on," she noted after a moment.
"What's Oscar like?" Lee asked, unable to help himself. She looked at him, surprised. She lowered her hand holding the remote and took a moment before responding.
"He's brilliant," she answered. "I mean wicked smart, especially with math. He's perceptive. He's funny as hell. He's adorable."
"You miss him," Lee noted. He could tell. She gave a slight chuckle.
"Yea, I do," she admitted.
"I imagine he's looking forward to when you come home."
"Yea," she said absently, looking down at her hands. She shifted, and he knew she wanted to talk about something else. He was surprised at what she asked him, though.
"What was your brother like?" she asked.
"My brother?" he repeated.
"Yea. You said you had one," she reminded him. "Is he...is he dead?"
"Yea," Lee answered, nodding. "He's dead." It all came back to him in one fell swoop, and he felt sucker punched suddenly. The memory flashed through his mind vividly, and he had to look down at his hands to make sure there was no blood there.
"I'm sorry," Norah said. "You don't have to tell me anything..."
"He loved to fish," Lee said, interrupting her. "He played a mean guitar, and he used to say we'd grow old together and raise hell in a nursing home somewhere."
Norah reached to take his hand in hers, and he felt a slight shock at her unexpected touch. He held on tight, though. Talking about his brother was hard.
"What was his name?" she asked quietly.
"Lincoln," he answered. "Or Link, as he liked to be called. He was three years younger than me."
"How did he die?"
Lee closed his eyes. It was all there. The screeching. The shattered glass. The screaming. His screams. His chest grew tight, and he felt like he was choking.
"I don't...I can't..." he tried.
"It's okay," she said quickly, resting her other hand on his arm. "You don't have to tell me. I was just curious."
"I was driving," he managed to say. "I was driving."
"Oh, Lee," she murmured, resting her cheek against his shoulder. He turned his head, grazing his cheek against the top of her head. It was comforting, her being there. He didn't tell anyone this story. It was too painful, but having her there listening...it made him want to tell it, to share his pain.
"The other driver ran the light," he went on. "Smashed right into us, sent us flying. He'd hit Link's side, and he was almost dead upon impact. I...I held him in my arms until...until he was gone." He'd screamed. He remembered feeling like his throat was going to rip into shreds from all the screaming. Link's lifeless eyes looking back at him were usually always there when he closed his. He'd known he was too late when he'd managed to crawl out of his window and get around to Link's side. He'd never felt so helpless in his life.
"What were you doing that night?" Norah asked, bringing him back to the room. "You said the last time you had fun, someone died. Was that the same time?"
"Yea," Lee answered. "We'd been out trying to pick up girls. Link had succeeded." It had been so hard to tell that girl what happened. Then they'd started dating out of need from the pain. It had ended badly, so badly. Lee kept to himself after that.
"I'm so sorry," Norah said again, pressing her face against his cheek. Lee felt shaky at her closeness. He cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject.
"I don't talk about it," he said.
"I bet you don't. It's like I don't usually talk about my mother," she replied.
"What happened to her?" he asked, getting the sense she wanted him to ask, wanted to tell him about it. In some way, he wanted her to tell him. He thought if it was worse than his, maybe his pain would be more bearable.
"I was little," Norah explained. "Rose and I found her in the bathtub dead. She'd slit her wrists."
"Shit, Norah," Lee said, feeling terrible.
"I never understood why she'd decided to die, you know? I thought maybe it was something I'd done," Norah said softly. "My dad doesn't talk about it. Rose does sometimes, but not always. I met this woman, Lynn, via a crime scene we'd done...her mother had killed herself, and I wanted Lynn to know that her mother loved her from the evidence I'd found, all the pictures she'd kept, but really I was trying to connect with someone who'd also lost their mother and was trying to tell myself that my mother loved me despite what she'd done. I was projecting, and in the end, I hurt Lynn. She thought I was interested in her when I wasn't."
Lee waited, knowing she wasn't finished. He hadn't guessed that morning that he'd be sitting there with her telling each other their pain.
"I feel so terrible for that," Norah whispered. "I hurt her. I don't like hurting people."
"Your heart was in the right place," Lee offered.
"I think I run around looking to connect with people who've had a loss so I can see how they deal with it, cope with it," Norah continued. "Because I sure as hell don't know how to cope with it sometimes."
"I don't think we do at times," Lee admitted. "We can keep it together most of the time, but sometimes shit just falls apart, and we hang on until it passes."
"I have some of her things in a box," Norah said. "I go through it sometimes."
"I do too," Lee said, making her surprised.
"Really?"
"Yea."
"So I'm not crazy," she said, sounding relieved.
"No, Norah, you're not," he confirmed. She smiled at him, and noticed how close her face was to his again. He felt closer to her than he'd felt to anyone in a long time. Sharing pain had that effect.
"Lee?" she whispered. He could see it in her face too, the feelings. He flicked his eyes to her lips, wondering what she'd taste like.
The door opening and Caesar and Char's voices snapped him out of it. He got to his feet, feeling as though he was almost caught doing something wrong, and moved away from Norah quickly. He found Caesar and Char laughing quietly together.
"Good night?" he asked them.
"Very," Char answered. "Thanks for doing this, Lee. And Norah. It was so needed."
"Anytime," Norah assured them, making Lee turn to see that she'd followed him. She didn't meet his eyes, and he wondered if he'd made her feel rejected by bolting. He hadn't intended to make her feel that way. He just didn't know what to make of any of this.
"Have a good night, guys," he said to Caesar and Char, who nodded and wished him the same. He walked out ahead of Norah and waited as she unlocked her car.
"Hey," she said to him, making him look at her.
"Yea?"
"I'll carry it with you," she told him. "The pain. It's better than doing it alone. I would know." She didn't wait for him to respond before getting into the car. He did so as well, and he watched as she started the car and put her seat belt on.
They didn't say anything else on the ride home.