The Next Day

Joe

He noticed Rose seemed a bit off when she met him at work that morning. She'd been off all last night if he was honest, and he didn't know why. He was getting a hang of this crime scene cleaning business. He was vomiting less and growing more accustomed to the certain smells. He was glad he'd invested in this, that he was working with Rose. It was giving him a purpose.

He grunted slightly when he scrubbed at a spot on the wall. Rose heard and frowned at him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yea, just pulled a muscle the other day. I can't lean and twist while pulling up anymore," he joked. He recalled the pop he'd felt and how long he'd suffered through the pain before taking something for it. It was healing, but slowly. He hated getting old.

"Take it easy then," Rose suggested. "Go slow."

"I am."

They were quiet for a bit longer. Joe didn't know how to talk about Rose losing the baby. It made him feel a lot of different emotions that he'd rather not face. He was happy to see her carrying on with life, though. He'd feared he was going to find her dead from an overdose or something, not that she used (that he was aware of). He knew he couldn't go through that again.

"Have you heard from Norah at all?" Rose asked.

"Here and there."

"Think she'll grow tired and come home?"

"Probably."

Rose chuckled, and he did too. It was not a secret that Norah was a bit impulsive and changed her mind like the way the wind changed directions.

"Oscar wants to go out and see her."

This reminded him of something, and he wondered how to mention it. It had only started in the last week. In the end, he just blurted it out.

"Oscar keeps asking me who his father is," he said. Rose stopped working, surprised.

"He does?"

"Yea. I keep saying he has to ask you, but I think he's afraid to."

"Oh."

Joe looked over at his daughter, and he wondered if Mac was the boy's father, but he kept quiet. She didn't say anything else, and he let it go. Oscar would eventually move on from it.

He hoped so anyway.

Lee

He'd woken up first. Norah was still asleep on her side next him, her head still on his shoulder. He tried to remember why he'd invited her to sleep next to him. It was mostly to do with the guilt of scaring her half to death with his actions, but it was partly because he'd missed her so badly in the time he'd been away. It also had something to do with the fact he wanted to hang onto someone alive. He shuddered at the memory of the lifeless child in his arms, his fingers closing their eyes to stop the vacant stare from boring into his soul with the accusation of him failing them.

She looked so peaceful. He felt at peace watching her. He didn't remember any nightmares after she'd fallen asleep with him. He definitely remembered the one she'd woken him up from. It had consisted of him working alone and trying to save all those kids. They'd been getting shot one by one, their vacant stares and final screams ripping him into pieces, when Norah had woken him up. He'd thought she was the ringleader, the one who'd killed the kids, when he woke up to her shaking him.

He tensed when she gave a slight moan. He took note of her curling her legs up towards her chest, her hand on his chest gripping his shirt tightly in her fingers. She moaned again, and he went from feeling alarm at her wellbeing to suddenly understanding what was happening.

"Lee," she groaned, eyes still closed. He felt his breath catch in his throat. What the hell was she doing dreaming about him like that? But then he knew in that moment it was something he wanted. He hadn't ever thought he'd reach this place with someone, wanting a relationship, and yet here he was. None of this was the same feelings as his last attempted relationship, but he knew they'd only been together out of loss and pain. It definitely was not out of need of just having company like he'd done a few times before. This was different.

He was going back in forth in his mind about whether or not he should nudge her awake when she opened her eyes. At first, her blue eyes registered confusion, but then they became clear as she remembered where she was. Lee had unconsciously moved his head closer to hers moments before, and it was inches away from hers. He moved his right hand to rest on hers that was still gripping his t-shirt.

"Lee?" she whispered, sounding unsure. He stopped moving in, realizing she didn't want this. What was he doing? He was misinterpreting what she wanted from a dream she was having that might not even be what he thought it was. He was nuts. He was trying to cope with the fact a child died in his arms despite his best efforts to save them. He wasn't himself right now.

But then she parted her lips and looked at his mouth before closing her eyes. If she wasn't interested, she would have gotten up and left him. She wouldn't have done that. Lee had no idea what he was doing as he brushed his lips against hers like a whisper. He was about to press them in harder when a 90 plus pound dog leaped on them both.

Norah jerked away and shrieked. Lee swore. Rupert greedily licked both of their faces, tail wagging like a windmill behind him as he got rare access to the vulnerable faces of those he loved.

"Get down," Lee ordered, grabbing Rupert's collar and trying to haul him off. Norah started to laugh as Sassy joined the fray and started a chase from Rupert on the mattress. Lee fell back against the pillows, giving up and feeling exasperated. Norah was up, having rescued Sassy and was carrying the writhing cat out of the bedroom. The moment was gone. In its place was a feeling of regret. What had he done?

Rupert stood on the end of the bed, tail still wagging, and he looked back at Lee. His tongue was lolling out in that goofy way of his.

"You're an arsehole," Lee told him. Rupert just licked his lips and hopped off the bed, heading for the kitchen. Lee had no idea what to do now. He could hear Norah starting coffee and breakfast. She clearly wasn't coming back, and he knew it was for the best if she didn't.

It didn't stop him from feeling really disappointed, though.

Rose

"What are you doing?" Rose asked her sister, her cell phone crammed in the crook of her neck. She was trying to wrestle the knots out of her own hair currently. Norah had called to tell her about her almost kiss with Lee that morning. Then she fessed up they'd been sharing a bed without having sex. Rose felt all sorts of red flags at this. What was her sister doing?

"About what?" Norah asked.

"About Lee."

"What about him?"

"Are you really going to make me spell it out?" Rose asked, impatient.

"Yes," Norah answered, sticking her sucker back into her mouth. Rose could tell she was slurping on one. Old habits die hard, and Norah always sucked on a sucker when she was feeling stressed or anxious. Rose also knew she left those damn sticks laying around afterwards. How hard was it to put them in the garbage can?

"You live with him..."

"In the basement as a renter," Norah corrected immediately. Rose sighed in annoyance but continued.

"You share a bed with him," she pointed out. "You just told me that."

"Only when we've had a nightmare."

"Which is what, every night?"

"No," Norah replied. "He hasn't even been here in two months."

"Norah," Rose sighed, almost sympathetic now. "I know you're looking for some kind of connection with people who've experienced a death of a loved one..."

"Which is everyone, Rose," Norah cut her off. "Everyone has lost someone they love at some point in time, and it's not always to death either."

"I know..."

"So why don't you just back off," Norah went on strongly. "This is working for me..."

"But is it working for him?" Rose interrupted quickly. This caused Norah to pause. "See? What if what you're doing is going to hurt him? What if he thinks there's going to be more?"

"Well," Norah said. "I...I don't know. There might...there could be more."

"Are you serious? Or are you just saying that to make me back off?" Rose challenged.

"I really don't know," Norah admitted. "I mean, he did almost kiss me. I didn't initiate it."

"Just...don't hurt him," Rose said after a moment. "He seems like a nice guy, and I think he might be falling for you. Don't hurt him..."

"The way I hurt Lynn?" Norah cut in.

"Well...yea," Rose agreed.

"I didn't return her feelings, though. I didn't know she'd misinterpreted my intentions. I...I think I return Lee's feelings in this case."

Rose finished with her hair and set down her brush. She looked at herself in the mirror. She felt old and tired suddenly.

"Talk to him," she urged. "Okay?"

"I'll try," Norah answered. "Look, I gotta go. I have an earlier shift at the bar today."

"Alright."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

They hung up, and Rose wondered just what kind of mess her sister was going to get herself into now.

Toll

Dr. Sanchez had given him an appointment on a Saturday, which was today. He'd been very grateful. He saw the wetness around her eyes after he shared what had happened to some of the children, though. Hell, he'd bawled like a baby as he fell asleep the night before.

"What are you going to do for self-care tonight?" she asked as they wrapped up the hour.

"Me and the boys are gonna hit a bar," he answered. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. He knew it wasn't the best coping mechanism, but he wasn't going to be drinking a lot.

"Okay," she said slowly.

"I mostly go for the darts or pool," he reassured her.

"That sounds like fun."

"It is. It also gives me the best view of Norah," he said without thinking. He caught himself and stopped talking, but his face flushed scarlet all the same.

"Who is Norah?" Dr. Sanchez asked curiously.

"Oh, she, uh, she works at the bar." She currently lives with one of my friends, and I think he's falling for her too...

"And you like her?"

"I do. She's fun and quirky. She's just a bit of light in the midst of all this darkness, you know?"

"Does she know how much she means to you?"

"Uh, no. I...I'm just her friend," he answered.

"But you'd like it to be more?"

"I'm still thinking about it. I mean, she has no idea what I do for a living. I don't know how she'd take it."

"Sometimes people can surprise us," Dr. Sanchez said, crossing her legs the other way. "It might not hurt to tell her."

"Maybe one day. I'm not ready."

"Of course. It has to be when it feels good to you."

"So, can we set up another appointment?" Toll asked, itching to leave suddenly. He didn't want to talk about Norah anymore. Dr. Sanchez agreed, and they worked out the details. When he walked out of there, he felt a little bit better but not entirely. He knew that would happen. It would take time to heal from these wounds. They'd saved as many kids as they could; that's what was important to remember.

It still didn't help him stop thinking about the ones they couldn't save.

Caesar

He hadn't told Char about anything that happened on his last mission. It was bad enough he was having nightmares. He didn't want her to have them too. He'd woken up that morning and played with his children. Will had finally come around, which Caesar appreciated. He currently had Sasha upside down under his arm giggling when Char came to kiss him goodbye. She was running out to do some errands. He'd offered to do them for her, but she kindly reminded him that she hadn't had any alone time in two months. Touche.

"Daddy, build me a fort!" Sasha called. He swung her back and forth as he walked towards the living room, making her shriek with glee.

"I guess I can do that," he reasoned. "But then we have to get you dressed and ready for the day."

"Okaaaay."

Will was tucked in a chair reading, so Caesar let him be. He loved that his kids enjoyed books and being outside and weren't addicted to video games or TV all day long. He gave a lot of credit to Char for things their kids did since he was gone a lot. He ached inside at this. Maybe he shouldn't be gone so much anymore. He didn't know what to do.

"Daddy!" Sasha called from under the pillows he was using to make the fort. "I want a draw bridge."

"Oye, well I'll see what I can do," Caesar said, reaching for a blanket. It definitely took his mind off of what happened on their last job.

Norah

All morning she'd avoided Lee, and he'd avoided her. She wasn't really sure what had transpired between them before Rupert divebombed them. Would they have carried it on farther than just a kiss? She didn't know. Rose's words of warning kept playing in her mind too. She gave herself a shake. She hadn't come here for a relationship. She had come here to find herself. She needed to stop thinking about this.

She worked to keep her mind on her job, which was busy since it was a Saturday night. It kept wandering over to thinking about Lee, though. His job demanded time away from home. She knew that. It had been one of the reasons Lee took her in as a renter. He wasn't going to be home much. Why was she so surprised when he didn't come back until two months later? She had no right to be angry about that.

She smiled as the boys turned up one by one around nine at night. The only one missing was Tool. Caesar commented he couldn't stay long but needed a bloody drink, which she slid beers across to them (except Gunner) as soon as they sat down.

It was good to see them. Gunner had a slight scratch on his arm, but otherwise he was fine. They all greeted her with large grins and jokes about how they'd returned to the roost. Norah was pretty sure Tool was the mother hen of that roost. She wondered if he'd given them all a tongue lashing for not coming home when they were supposed to.

Lee showed up with Barney last, and she noticed Barney giving her strange looks off and on. She wondered what was up with him when she suddenly had a memory. It was very short and fleeting, but it was still a memory. She blinked, staring at Barney. How could this be? She didn't get a chance to think about it much longer when:

"Norah, my love!" a voice rang out, making her heart almost stop. No way. It couldn't be...

"Randy," she said stupidly, seeing her casual ex-whatever-he-was standing in front of her with that stupid grin on his face.

"I looked all over for you! Finally wrangled it out of your sister that you were here. Phew!" Randy exclaimed, sitting down on a barstool. He was oblivious to all of the burly men staring at him. "It's hot! Damn!"

"What are you doing here?" Norah asked. Randy reached to grab her hand, and she tried to yank it away but failed.

"I had an epiphany," Randy said seriously. "One that said we should really make a go at our relationship."

"We didn't have a relationship..." Norah's eyes flicked nervously over to Lee. He looked angry and...defeated?

"Oh, we certainly did," Randy insisted. "It was, uh, pretty somethin' somethin', if you know what I mean." He talked out of the corner of his mouth, giving the men a look of pride over his innuendo. Norah yanked her hand away and took a step back.

"You wasted your time," she told him. "I'm not interested. Never really was."

"Just interested enough in banging a headboard every now and then, eh? Was that all I was good for?" Randy asked. Norah cringed inside. Lee was sliding off his stool now, heading for the door. She couldn't let him leave thinking that she was into this nutter in front of her. She hurried after him, ignoring Randy calling her name.

"Lee!" she shouted once she was outside. He didn't stop as he headed for his bike. "LEE!"

"What?" he asked, irritated, turning around to face her. There was sweat on his brow from the heat, and a damp spot was showing just under his neck on his t-shirt.

"He's not...we weren't..." she tried.

"It doesn't matter," he cut her off. "I don't care."

"Just listen," she ordered. "He was just...he was nothing. It was nothing serious. I don't know why he's here. I'm not interested..."

"It's your life, Norah," Lee said. "Don't worry about it. It's for the best anyway."

She watched in despair as he mounted his bike, started it, put on his helmet, and took off. Any chance of her feeling out a relationship with him was over. He'd just made that abundantly clear. She dropped her hands to her sides and headed back to her post. She noticed Gunner had Randy in a headlock when she returned.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

"He was being very rude," Gunner insisted, looking at her over Randy's beet red, choking face. His fist kept slamming into the bar top as Gunner squeezed tighter.

"Apologize," Toll ordered Randy, who managed to squeak out something inaudible.

"Give him some room," Caesar told Gunner, who relaxed his grip a little.

"I'm sorry," Randy gasped.

"And?" Toll prompted.

"I won't say it again."

"And?" Caesar raised a brow.

"It was mostly made up."

"And?" Gunner said aggressively.

"I'm leaving," Randy finished.

"Good lad," Barney commented. Gunner let him go, and Randy coughed and massaged his throat, giving Norah a frightened look.

"You've got some tough friends," he commented.

"They look out for me," Norah replied nonchalantly. "Nice seeing you, Randy. Safe trip back home."

"Yea," Randy said. "But, are you sure? About us?"

"I'm very sure."

"I think we could be great..."

"Randy, no," Norah cut him off. "Please go."

"Alright, fine," Randy said, starting to walk away. "Just don't come looking for me when it all falls to shit here."

"I won't." She didn't watch him leave. She was too worried about what Lee was thinking. She had no idea how to fix this. She didn't even know what she needed to fix. It wasn't like they were dating. They shared living quarters and sometimes slept together in the same bed. That was all.

"So," Toll said casually. "That happened."

"Who was that clown?" Gunner asked.

"And how dare he say that shit!" Caesar joined in.

"No one," Norah replied. "He's no one." She was still feeling shocked and appalled that Randy had found her here. How could Rose do that to her?!

"Ass hat," Yang said for all of them, making heads nod in unison. Norah noticed Toll was looking at her a bit differently, and she really hated that Randy came here and spewed shit to her new friends. She hadn't wanted that part of her past to make its way here.

"Where you going?" Yang asked Barney, who was sliding off his stool.

"Gotta find Christmas," Barney answered, pulling out a few bills and setting them on the counter. His eyes met Norah's briefly, and she saw the memory play in her head again. She opened her mouth to say something, but he had already turned away and started loping to the door. Then he was gone.

It was a long rest of her shift.

Gunner

He stayed last, offering to help Norah clean up. She only accepted his help with the chairs, which he took his time with. He kept thinking about Victoria and how she'd hugged him so tightly after he told her his story.

"I'm surprised you're not with Victoria," Norah said after a bit.

"I was. We had dinner again tonight."

"Then you left her to come here?"

"It's kind of our ritual after a...after we go away," he corrected quickly. "We all have a drink together the night after we get home."

"I see."

"I told her," Gunner went on, trying to get past the fact he almost said "mission" in his last sentence. Norah stopped wiping the bar top and looked at him.

"Told who what?"

"Victoria. Um, what I told you," he answered. Her eyes softened, and she rested her elbows on the bar top.

"And?" she urged.

"She took it really well. She's helping me look for a support group."

"Wow. Good for you, Gunner," Norah said, smiling. He smiled back. He felt really good. In fact, he felt so good that he wasn't rushing into this relationship with Victoria. He wanted to move things slow, and she agreed. He didn't need a warm body next to him for the sake of keeping his mind off of his memories. He finally felt like he could have a normal relationship.

"Are you and Lee having a fight?" he asked, recalling how Norah had run out after him earlier.

"I'm a little mad at him for being gone so long, but I'll get over it," she said rather vaguely.

"And what about after the stint with Bozo the Clown?"

"It was nothing. We're fine," Norah answered, trying to sound convincing. Gunner wondered if she had feelings for Lee. It would crush Toll if she did, cos he happened to know Toll really liked her.

"Hmm," he commented.

"Where you off to after this?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Home," he answered. "You?"

"Same. I'm exhausted."

"If Bozo bothers you again, let me know."

"I will. Thanks, Gunner."

He gave her a curt nod before heading outside. She finished locking up and went to her car. He made sure she left safely, and then he made his way home.

Barney & Lee

Lee was sitting on his front steps when Barney pulled up on his bike. He watched his friend kick down the stand, rest it against the dirt, and turn the engine off before tugging the helmet off his head. He gave his hair a quick swipe with his hand before dismounting the bike slowly. Lee said nothing as his friend loped towards him.

"What's up?" Barney asked him, settling down beside him, resting his arms across his knees. He twisted to look at Lee.

"Nothing."

"Not nothing. You left that bar like you were set on fire. What's up?"

"I'm just sitting here."

"Brooding."

"I'm not brooding."

"This big black cloud hanging over your head says otherwise," Barney said, gesturing with his right hand. "Now there's a tattoo idea for Tool. He can do a thundercloud on your head with some lightning bolts down your jawline and on the back of your head."

"Shut up."

"Is it about the kids?" Hell, Barney knew he wasn't getting over that one anytime soon. Seeing them free and returned to their families hadn't taken away the sounds of their pain ringing in his ears. He hadn't been the one to have one die in his arms, though.

"I'm thinking about anything but that," Lee replied.

"Is it about Norah?"

"I'm not talking about it."

Bingo. He had suspected, but he needed to be sure. He wasn't sure how to feel about Lee liking his niece, but he knew Lee would treat her very well, unlike that Randy fellow. Barney had wanted to put that guy's head through the bar top. If Norah hadn't come back, he just might have.

"I think you should."

"I don't want to," Lee retorted.

"Might make you feel better."

"It won't."

"You won't know until you try," Barney insisted. There was a moment's silence and then:

"Who the hell was that guy?" Lee burst out.

"There it is," Barney said to no one in particular.

"I mean, he tracks her down, declares he wants a relationship, and she says he's nobody? I don't bloody think so! A 'nobody' doesn't come all this way to ask for a relationship!"

"And why is this so important to you? Why do you care?"

"Don't make me say it," Lee growled. His almost kiss with Norah had replayed like a damn movie in his mind over and over again all day. Seeing Randy had thrown him off. It was a sharp reminder that falling for someone meant getting hurt.

"I don't have to. I already know you're head over heels for her. I'm just trying to get you to say it out loud to admit it to yourself."

"I don't want to," Lee muttered.

"It won't go away like you think it will if you ignore it."

"Yes, it will."

"No, it won't."

"Yes, it will."

"No, it won't," Barney insisted.

"Yes, it will!"

"What are you, six years old?"

"You started it," Lee replied childishly. Barney heaved an exasperated sigh.

"Humor me," he ordered. "Talk it out." Lee gave him an almost murderous look as he ground his jaw. He looked away for a few moments before finally speaking.

"If I love her and lose her, it'll destroy me," he said quietly.

"How so?"

"Cos I've never felt this strongly for anyone, and if I lose her, I will never recover from it."

"You don't know that." Barney could see the agony in Lee's face and felt bad for his friend. Sometimes having a black heart had its benefits.

"Something's coming," Lee said after a moment. "Something I don't think I'll be able to keep her safe from, so I can't be attached to her."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Barney asked, alarmed. He met Lee's eyes and saw the fear in them. Whatever was coming, it wasn't good. Why hadn't Lee said anything about it before?

"It's nothing to do with you," Lee said, reading his mind. "It's my past, my problem."

"But you're my brother, and anything that affects you also affects me, so you're not doing this alone...whatever 'this' is," Barney insisted. Lee just gave a slight grunt, looking down at the ground. They sat there together for a while, mostly in silence. A rumble of a car signaled the arrival of Norah. Barney watched her park and take sight of them. He reached to give Lee's shoulder a shake before standing to his feet and walking to his bike.

"Good night," he said to Norah as she got out of her car.

"Barney," she started. He reached to start his bike, drowning her out. The look on her face said she wanted to say something to him, and he had a strong inkling as to what it was, and he just couldn't. He wasn't ready. He avoided looking at her hurt face as he revved his bike and tore off.

Lee wondered what Barney's problem was when Norah turned to look at him, appearing small and lost in the driveway. He felt the anger inside about Randy all over again, and he steeled himself against what he wanted to do, which was go over to her and pull her close. The distance had to start now.

"Lee," she said, coming closer. "You gotta believe me about Randy..."

"And you gotta believe I really don't care," he cut her off.

"Don't do this," she said.

"Do what?"

"You're pushing me away," Norah whispered. He felt his heart clench. Of course that's what he was doing. He knew she'd be smart enough to figure it out.

"You can't push away if you were never close," he replied, and he knew the words were harsh, but he needed her to back away from him. She looked like she had been slapped, and he felt like throwing up.

"So that's how it is," she said quietly.

"Yea," he agreed. "That's how it is." He was lying. Couldn't she tell he was lying? She looked like she was about to cry, and his heart twisted. He forced himself to look away and didn't look at her as she went up the stairs past him. The door shutting softly behind her hurt more than if she had slammed it.

It told him just how badly he had hurt her. He exhaled slowly. There was no going back now.