Ch6: Archer's Acceptance
Again, my body moved on its own. The arrows fly before I even notice. The bow is still in my hands.
"Archer?" is the voice of my Master that rings in my head.
The redheaded boy in my sight, the moron that appeared in the mirrors in my youth, I cannot help but loathe him. I wanted to believe that he was a different person, but in some way, I can't help but think that he's even worse than what I was. Even if that boy is someone who can strike down a little girl without hesitation, that "little sister" whom I have no recollection of still defends him.
In her hands is Gae Bolg, the Noble Phantasm of Cu Chulainn. Not just the weapon, she has some of his skill too. Just like that irish hero, she can knock down any projectile in her field of vision. She intercepted my arrows, but she did not intercept all of them.
She did not block the arrows meant to intercept the married blades that were converging on Illya's neck. "Miyu" didn't want Illya to die. From that girl's face, it was clear she didn't want anyone to die in front of her. To have such a sentiment is foolish, but, for a child to think in such a way, I can't say it's wrong.
Even so, everyone becomes an adult someday. There is a day when a person must accept that reality isn't kind. People die meaninglessly. There are people that simply cannot be saved and there are people that the world is simply better without. I knew that truth from the very beginning, yet I still sought it; an ending where everyone could be saved.
I never retreated, I was never understood, always alone, chasing a meaningless ideal. My life had no meaning, yet as I look at that familiar boy, his life already has meaning. He wasn't the same as me. He's a completely different person. Unlike me back then, his priorities are clear, he knows for certain who he needs to save. He did not claim to be a hero or even try to become one. All he was doing right now was saving the people he knew by striking down those he didn't.
A boy who only wanted to save his sister. To any other heroic spirit, it would have sounded like nonsense, but the "me" recorded on the Throne of Heroes had responded to that nonsense and granted him power. As a heroic spirit removed from the concept of time, the specifics of the boy before me did not matter in the slightest. There was only one question in my mind. He was being perfectly rational; I accepted his desire, yet why couldn't I accept him when he stands before me?
"Are you making fun of me?" was the cry of a familiar girl.
A white haired girl who was played with by others her entire life was crying in front of me. She was someone I remembered well. At the end of my Holy Grail War, I was offered a wish.
"Now, answer. If you wish for it, I shall give you the Holy Grail," were the words spoken by a fake priest back then.
My earliest memories were always of fire, where I was the only survivor. After Kiritsugu adopted me, I would often go back to that burned field where nothing remained. Where I would open an nonexistent door, walk through the hallway that no longer existed, and smile at my mother who wasn't there anymore, whose face I had forgotten.
"I don't need it, I can't wish for such a thing," were words I said back then to the priest.
I was offered a wish, but I refused it. Back then, I swore to myself that I must not take back the past because if I did that, everything would become a lie, the tears, the pain, the memories. For that reason, I couldn't give back what was taken from that white haired little girl I had saved back then; a chance. She never got a chance to live. Her lifespan was cut short in order for her to take the role of the Lesser Grail by her "family". That was the truth in my timeline.
Illya, the daughter of the man who saved me is destined to die soon no matter what happens in this unreasonable ritual. I was always a hypocrite and a fake. I had swore to myself to not take back the past, yet I answered the call to this Holy Grail War for that very reason; to erase the contemptible self that gave rise to me. If there was one truth that remains in me, it is that I didn't want the people in front of me to cry and right now a little girl was crying.
"Archer, what are you doing?" my Master asks me.
I had descended from the roof, giving up the vantage point I had. I was walking slowly towards them. Everyone was on guard, staring at me. Saber was on guard.
"What are you planning Archer?"
Even though she said that, she simply watched on as I kept walking. Even Berserker simply stood back and observed me. They could sense no hostility in me. Before anyone knew it, the crying little girl is before me. I place my palm on top of her head.
"Huh?" was the surprise that escaped the little girl's mouth. She looks up at me. I had forgotten how painful it was to bear that stare.
I aim my gaze at the boy who wasn't me. From that little girl with amber eyes just like his standing behind him, he couldn't possibly be me. Unlike me, the fire did not take everything away from him. Even if he's a completely different existence, I cannot condone what he has done. It seems that I'm sentimental to the core.
"Is it fun to torture a little kid, Emiya Shirou?" I say.
"Emi….ya?" Saber mutters under breath.
"I….." Shirou begins to say.
The boy's expression was that of a broken machine. He did not understand what sort of face he should have been making at that moment. For that reason, his doting sister was concerned.
"Onii-chan?"
In response to that voice, he responds with a smile. That's right, unlike me, your life has meaning. Even if you don't claim to be a hero, in front of your little sister, you have to be the caring older brother she believes you to be. Even if you aren't good, even if you're just empty, even if you don't care at all about the girl named Illyasviel Von Einzbern, you have a duty to fulfill. Your sister saved Illya, your sister didn't want Illya to die, so to continue being her older brother, you must choose your next actions carefully.
"No, it isn't fun," is the response he gives to my question.
The boy who wasn't me drops on his knees, places his palms on the ground and prostrates himself before of Illya. His forehead touches the ground. Even though he was only doing this to appease his own little sister, that fact mattered little. At this point, Illya's tears had stopped.
"What's this?" she asks.
"Dogeza. He's begging for forgiveness," I explain.
"I apologize for my rude behavior earlier….Illya," the boy says trying his best to pronounce the unfamiliar name.
The white haired girl stares at the boy on the ground, then turns her gaze to the black haired girl. Illya is upset, but she understands that not once has the target of her violence ever stared back at her with contempt. To meet the fury of her target's older brother was only natural. Even with that cursed spear in hand, the only thing present on that black haired girl's face was concern.
Illya breaks eye contact, brushes away my hand and turns around to leave, ordering her giant to do the same.
"Berserker, we're leaving."
With an almost indiscernible glow, Lancer's armaments melt away and a doctor's white coat remains on the small frame of the little black haired girl. That girl reaches out towards the retreating figure.
"Wait," was the word that Miyu mustered the courage to say.
"What is it?" Illya answers without turning around.
"You came here for a reason didn't you? Is it wrong of me to ask you what that reason is?"
Innocence and compassion can be seen in those amber eyes of that little girl. In some small way, I can understand the reason why the boy who wasn't me turned out the way he did.
"I came here to hurt you, nothing more than that," were the cold words from the girl who had just been crying.
"Familiarity breeds attempt. Motives for violence fall under instrumental and expressive, but you clearly came here to express something. We aren't strangers are we? So can you tell me what am I to you and what are you to me?"
Illya, slightly unnerved simply quickens her pace with the Greek hero trailing behind her. Saber tightens her grip on the sword in her hands. The enemy that had just attacked without mercy or notice had just turned their backs. As a knight, it was clear that she was conflicted, even so, she was held back by my gaze. I won't let her get past me.
"Master, we should….," Saber starts.
"Let them go Saber," Miyu commands.
"Archer, follow her," is the command that rings in my head.
"I didn't need your help you old hag," Illya says to Rin who was leaning on the wall right outside the Emiya residence with one eye closed. A rather thick book was in her hands.
"Archer did that on his own. Still, you seem to know something about the Emiya family."
"Why should I tell you anything third rate? You should be happy I haven't reduced you into some paste on the ground."
Illya walks past Rin and continues walking away, but Rin follows with me not too far off. Berserker doesn't do anything. The size contrasting pair did not see us as a threat worth any attention. It was fortunate that Rin had already discarded some pride after witnessing the previous exchange. Casting away the unnecessary was how magi operated.
"That Emiya family with all those Noble Phantasms, they have the strongest Servant Saber to boot."
"My Berserker is the strongest," is what Illya says as she walks further away.
Rin was annoyed, but she was hiding it well…..for Rin that is. Rin chases after the small figure.
"So? Do you really want someone outside of the three founding families to take the prize?"
"Outsider? Well, you aren't exactly wrong, but the grail already belongs to me. I don't intend to share it," which were words with a few grains of truth.
"Aha! So there is a connection between the Einzbern and the Emiya families," was the the grain Rin was able to pick up.
"The fact you were able to pick that up, maybe you aren't stupid, but it really just shows me how ignorant you are."
The smaller girl quickens her pace, but me and my Master quicken ours.
"What was that brat?" Rin yells.
Illya simply smiles. A very smug smile at that. As merciless as I remember.
"You've never heard of the Magus Killer have you? Maybe calling you an old hag is too good for you since you don't seem to know anything. What did your father even teach you?"
Rin makes a pained face. A certain button was pushed.
"Fine, I would feel bad if poor Archer had such an ignorant Master like you, so I'll tell you. Emiya, the Magus Killer was contracted by the Einzbern family to win the Holy Grail War," Illya says without paying any heed to Rin's expression.
"They entrusted that task to an outsider?" Rin says with surprise.
"No, Kiritsugu married into the Einzbern family, so he wasn't exactly an outsider, but right before the grail was in his grasp, he threw it away, that's why….."
"They entrusted his daughter to take revenge on on the Emiya family," Rin says as a matter of fact.
Illya stares incredulously at the taller girl.
"Well, that explains why they sent a child. I always suspected that those two aren't pure human, must be part Einzbern homunculus or something. Well, that's not much different from the beef the Edelfelt family has with me," Rin continues to add.
It should have been nonsensical rambling, but Illya seems to be taking it seriously? They keep walking without paying heed to the destination.
"What makes you think they aren't pure human?" is the question Illya poses.
"The Noble Phantasms weren't a clue? Well, red eyes are an indication of being something other than human and it wasn't long ago that little girl had red eyes just like yours," Rin says as she flips through the thick unfamiliar book.
"What's that?" Illya says as her eyes light up.
"I took a little detour through their house. Quite a lot of these lying around actually. The kids around here don't call me Spirit Detective Rin for nothing," Rin says to herself with a grin that oozed with self satisfaction, pointing her finger gun at the rather thick book.
My Master for this Holy Grail War, should she be praised or pitied? Spirit Detective Rin? Weren't you just a thief? Did kids see you fire your Gandr? Well, considering she probably had a few run ins with that "Shirou" over the years, some strange rumors must have been started. Just like the rumors about that "illusionary castle" attended by maid sisters.
"Give me," the white haired girl orders Rin, but Rin refuses.
"Do we have an alliance?" Rin asks as she cocks the metaphorical hammer on her gun.
"Fine, whatever," Illya concedes. Rin hands her the book with a smug look.
Illya takes the thick sea blue book I initially assumed was some sort of tome in her hands. It was entitled "Ocean Memories". It seems like this "Shirou" was a lot more dangerous than I ever was. Every page was filled with photos of the Emiya family's annual trip to the beach. I stand over Illya in spiritual form as she flips through the pages. It had been a long time since I had seen Kiritsugu's face. I don't remember that many photos with him, but now there is this tome, filled to the brim. The contents weren't what I had expected, but were unsettling nonetheless.
A man who looked like he would keel over any minute. A man who looked like he was perpetually in pain. A man who was slowly being drained of life. A weary man who tried his best to smile.
A cheerful brown haired girl that seemed completely out of place in the group. It was certainly Fuji-nee and despite the people that surrounded her, she was always smiling.
A young red haired boy with bags under his eyes that did not befit his age. The noticeable streaks of white hair was hard not to notice, along with patches of tan. Was I in trouble? Even with such a ragged appearance akin to some sort of Chimera, he tried his best to smile.
A small black haired girl with red eyes and a vacant expression that couldn't have belonged to a human child. It was a frightening sight. She did not even attempt to smile. The older girl in the photos at some points even tried to pry open the small girl's mouth while her "older brother" made a rather scary face.
As the pages are flipped, it was quickly apparent that Kiritsugu missed a few of the annual outings to the beach. The pages also told a story of a boy experimenting with hair dye and skin cream, trying to cover up his "irregularities". Part way through, Kiritsugu never shows up again. Ever so slowly, a smile crept up on the face of that small child as she grew. By the final pages, the inhuman red eyed girl had amber eyes just like her "brother" with a smile that put all others she made before to shame. By then, she looked like any other ordinary human girl with her ordinary looking older brother.
After looking at the contents, I don't even know what's real anymore. Did he not notice how spooky the contents were or was he just having fun?
Illya bites her lip as she closes the album shut. Did she catch on to my connection with that boy?
"That lying fake, that thieving cat, she really did steal everything didn't she? She really is making fun of me!" Illya utters with disbelief. Her vigor is renewed, her resolve for revenge strengthened, but now that she knows her enemy, she'll be cautious. She'll bide her time. A wicked smile appears on her face. I had forgotten how much of a little devil she could be.