Ch 8: Shirou's Worries

"If I could have just one wish, I want Shirou and I to be true brother and sister…. such a thing could never happen right?"

Reality and dreams are separate things and yet….

"How could it not happen?"

People move forward because of dreams.

I wake up to another ordinary morning or I wished it was. The the extra "guest" forced me to acknowledge that the peaceful days that I didn't deserve were ending soon.

I watch "Saber" as she inhales her food and it is quite the sight to behold. How many years ago has it been now since I faced her doppelganger? In my memories, she was always a terrifying enemy, but the Saber sitting across from me was certainly even stronger than that monster. If we were come to serious blows, my chances of victory didn't look very good. I had gotten stronger as I grew, but I wasn't as strong as I would have liked.

As Saber sat down, I was forced to acknowledge my current reality.

I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready, but the world waits for no one.

Amber eyes like my own stare at me with concern. Eyes that were once red just a few weeks ago. What was supposed to be a passing dream had come true. It was supposed to be a miracle worth celebrating, but there were too many things in my dreams that I didn't want to come true. I'm quite the pathetic brother aren't I? I let my unease rub off on my little sister, the broken bathroom mirror was evidence of that….

We made a trip to the ocean a week ago despite the cold to combat that unease and Miyu was happy for a time, but it didn't last long. A few photos were taken, but Miyu wanted to leave as soon as she reached the ocean's edge. No photos were taken after that. Now that I think about it, I couldn't find the album containing those photos yesterday after the attack…...I only have the old photos backed up.

"Is something wrong Senpai?" Sakura whispers to me. It seems Sakura had picked up on it too.

I return Sakura's gaze and take her features in. Sakura was in front of me right now, but ….

"You didn't choose me, but I love you, so I'll protect you," were her parting words in my dreams.

How much longer will she remain?

For years now, Sakura was hiding something. For years now, she had been monitoring me and my instincts told me that she was ordered to do so. Our relationship was supposed to be a lie…...

Yet, I didn't want it to end. That's why I didn't say anything about the occasional bruises that appeared on her body or why she never joined us on our annual trip to the ocean. That's why I didn't ask anything about her rummaging through our home during those trips. That's why I didn't ask anything about her family or her situation. If I uncover her "truth", she will surely disappear. If I uncover her "truth", Miyu will be dragged into that "mess". That's why I continue smiling in front of her as I always do in order to keep her by my side.

Such selfishness cannot be forgiven for.

"That" dream would always taunt me. That's why I hated sleeping and preferred patrolling, but what Saber said last night was correct.

"If you don't rest, then you won't be suited for battle either."

I gaze down at my plate. If I didn't take good care of my body, then just like in those dreams, I really would lose everything. I force out a smile, trying to reassure those around me. I didn't have to worry about Saber who was eyeing her empty plate, wishing that it wasn't empty.

I look down at my own plate. Sakura spent all that effort coming here this morning, yet I couldn't taste anything.

"You've been improving," I say to her.

The walk to school was just like any other, except with Saber trailing behind us still wearing the lion jammies.

"She's even more of a fanatic than you are, isn't she?" Sakura says to Miyu.

"..."

In some small way, it was clear that Miyu's pride took some damage from the look of her adorable face, though the specifics weren't very clear. Despite her "properness", she had her own quirks. That was why no one said anything with Saber trailing behind her as we entered the school building.

Friends her own age were something I wanted her to make, but in the end she skipped grades for my sake. When she still attended a different school with kids her own age, I always got in trouble for coming to school late and leaving early. It was something she always scolded me over. By attending the same school as me, she tried to ease my burdens.

She would always insist that I join clubs and make more friends, which were all things that could apply to her. If she knew that the reason I patrol the city every night was for her sake, she would have stopped me. That's why I would always tell her that being a "Hero of Justice" was just a hobby of mine, a hobby I inherited from dad. It was both a blessing and a curse that I haven't run into any of those "card specters" over the years, but it seems the "real" Holy Grail War was starting. All that training, all that patrolling was not a mistake. I don't remember a time when I wasn't paranoid, but in the end, that paranoia wasn't wrong. Still, it's unfortunate that she's stuck with an older brother like me; an older brother that needs to be doted upon by his little sister…Miyu really deserves more. All I do is make her worry.

At the very least, Sakura is with her.

The morning passes by without fanfare. The bell rings and lunch period has begun, but my classmates were still here, piling in front of the entrance way.

"She's like a snow fairy!" someone calls out.

"A yuki onna," cries another.

"Give it a few more years," was something I didn't want to hear.

My right hand balls up. That girl who was after Miyu was here.

"You better not be lying again!" was that same haughty voice from last night.

"W-when did I lie?" was Shinji's stuttering voice as if his life was in danger, but knowing that girl, it was.

From the corner I see her now. Red eyes are trained on me. No hostility could be felt. That girl right now was simply beaming.

"So Onii-chan was here. You weren't lying," were the words directed at Shinji who had already run away.

"Humph! That's rude!" she says with a pout.

I stare at my enemy and load the gun in my head. Is she really intending to start something here in broad daylight? No, she came here specifically since she knew I wouldn't try to pull something with all these witnesses around. It didn't matter if I was stronger. It didn't matter her guardian wasn't around.

"I see. You recovered from last night, Onii-chan," were her words with a suggestive smile that could easily be taken out of context.

All around me I hear whispering. All around me I feel the stares. What everyone else was thinking didn't have to be said. What people already thought of me didn't have to be said. The chatter gets louder and people take pictures, but that little girl silences them all with her next words.

"The people of this country really are savages aren't they?"

"That's some sense of humor you have," I say to her.

She turns her gaze to my classmates eyeing each of them before turning her gaze back to me. She tilts her body as if to say, "let's wander somewhere else to chat…..or your classmates will have to entertain me."

Despite her childlike appearance, I was uneasy. This girl could take lives as easily as one would pick flowers. People will die if I don't follow her. She wasn't someone who understood "mercy". Her life was threatened last night and the only thing that was hurt was her pride.

I walk towards the girl and follow her with my bento still in hand. We walk down the halls and the chattering never stops.

"So this is one of those facilities where troublesome children are quarantined by age, right? She must be really naughty then," was her nonsensically offhand comment before sprinting down the hall, spinning in circles with me trailing behind.

"You've never been to a school before?" I ask.

She stops twirling for a second and twists her head.

"I was born knowing everything I needed to know," she says to me before saying, "let's race to the roof!"

I could ditch her right now, but I didn't want to leave her alone unsupervised. No telling what she would do if she ran into Miyu.

"Wait," I call out. With the reckless way she was ascending up the stairs, it was easy for her to slip and fall, but why did I care? Was it my instincts as a big brother?

We make our way to the roof and no one is around. She gazes down the schoolyard from above. I look around, steeling myself for that giant to appear. A chilling gust of wind blows and she quickly leans on me.

"It's warm," she whispers absentmindedly. She sniffs around.

"Is that food?" as she gazes upon the bento in my hands.

"You'll have to thank Sakura later if want it." I tell her.

"Well, it probably won't fit my tastes anyways," she says to me as she pushes me aside. I hope Sakura didn't hear that.

"Well, what would fit your tastes," I ask her.

"Hamburgers? They taste like slaughter or something," was an answer she wasn't really certain of.

Come to think of it, they were Kiritsugu's favorite food. Miyu had asked me to teach her how to make them when she was four when she learned that fact.

"Slaughter huh?" were words I just had to repeat.

"What's wrong?" she says to me.

"That's not something a girl your age should say," was something I had to say. It was strange, but the girl in front of me was somehow pitiful.

I stare her down and she stares up at me. She reaches her hand out and smudges the concealer on my face. She traces the patch of dark skin beneath my eye with her finger.

"Poor thing. You don't have properties of a "cup" and yet... What did she do to you?" she says to me with pity.

One body, one soul, that's the general rule. By using mage-craft derived from that "card", my body was constantly being invaded by that other "me". If I'm too reckless, I could lose myself and break like those "dolls" in my dreams. No that's wrong, those dolls couldn't break because they were broken from the start. If this girl knows about that then…..

"Why would…," I began to say, but I was cut off when she took out that missing photo album out of her purple coat. I prepare myself. She hands me back the album.

"Rin stole this, so I only came here to return it, but that fake isn't really your little sister is she?"

I take the album from her hands and cast it away to the side. I needed both my hands at the ready.

"Family isn't something determined solely by blood," I tell her.

"Then why did she feel like changing the color of her eyes her parents gav...?," were words I couldn't let her finish.

"That's….," was all I could say to cut her off. My heart stops for a moment. By making a connection with me through a wish, Miyu had unknowingly severed another. Ruby eyes stare through me. I try to find the words, but none come out, but her next words throw me further into a loop.

"Say, wouldn't you be better off as my Onii-chan, Onii-chan? I'll promise I'll treat you a lot better than she does."

Her words only serve to anger me. Even if she didn't intend to, she's making fun of me. I stand my ground.

"You and I have no relation, besides…..."

I stare around at our surroundings. No one is here, there are no witnesses. If I were to project my blades here, no one would notice….but…...Miyu didn't want this girl to die. No, my little sister abhorred the idea of anyone in her world dying. Maybe I wasn't a very good person after all if my thoughts had nothing to do with the life of the girl in front of me. To me, she was just some pitiful stranger.

I reinforce my eyes, scanning the rooftops of faraway buildings.

"Archer has a clear shot on me doesn't he?"

She's insulted. She starts fuming. Growing up with Miyu didn't prepare me for this, but she suddenly stops to explain something.

"Masters don't fight in the daytime. I don't have Berserker with me so…."

That admittance of hers is my signal. She was defenseless. That innocence of hers was dangerous.

"I'm not a Master," I correct her. My circuits flare and I steel myself for what I must do.

"Trace On."

The two married blades, mirrored images of each other are crossed ready to lop off her head. The more I get to know her, the harder this will become. She was at my mercy, with one swift action I can end her life right here and now, but…...

"Command your Servant to die," I order her, but her gaze is unwavering. She wasn't amused.

Without her Servant, without that giant, she has no choice but to drop out of this Holy Grail War, but she still stares at me with pity. If my sister does not want this girl to die, then this is the best course of action, but things did not go my way.

A loud crash.

The door behind us was kicked open. The screeching sound of the hinges assaults my ears for but a second, but that was the least of my worries. I didn't need to turn around. Saber and Miyu were standing behind me. It was inevitable from all that gossiping from the halls from earlier that they would show up.

Miyu's gaze is unwavering. I can't bear that resolute gaze and neither could my swords that simply evaporate. Illya is completely unfazed by what had transpired and turns her gaze to Miyu.

"I'm curious about that geas you cast on him. It's really effective."

Miyu doesn't say anything. No, she's denying the fact that Illya said anything at all. Saber has her eyes trained on her Master's enemy. Her hands seem empty, but nothing could be farther from the truth.

"What's your business here, Einzbern?" were the words of the lioness ready to pounce, but the snow fairy remains haughty and coy.

"She stole something from me that was rightfully mine, so it's only natural I try to steal something away from her, but you wouldn't know anything about that would you Servant?"

Judging by that expression that didn't suit her beautiful face, it seems like Saber was forced to remember several unsavory things all at once. I didn't need to understand Saber's circumstances to know that whatever that was said hit her really close to home. Saber didn't know how to respond to those words and in that silence, Illya simply walks past her and then takes a stop beside Miyu without turning to face her.

"Yesterday, you asked me what my relation was with you, but you already know don't you? Those cards…...one body, one soul, that rule doesn't apply to you either, yet you forced a human like Onii-chan to….."

"I did no such thing," were words conveyed in such a harsh tone that it took me a second to register that they came from Miyu's mouth.

Black and white. Unbearably serious and infuriatingly playful. It was a contrast so sharp that I could feel the air being cut. The white haired girl didn't understand the concept of mercy.

"If everything he does is by his own free will, then that's more of a reason for me to hate you. You made fun of me last time, so it's only fair I have my fun."

"Fun? You're still at this after I let you go?" was Miyu's question that the snow fairy simply ignores.

"Say, that prisoner's uniform really really suits you," were that girl's smug parting words.

Illya simply skips merrily down the stairs, satisfied with my sister's downcast face. My sister eyes the photo album on the ground, takes it in her hands and skims through it, but slams it shut before reaching the newest pages before handing it off to Saber.

Miyu simply stares at the ground. She was clearly upset by that little devil. I wanted to chase down that girl, but a small familiar hand grabs onto my shirt before I could go anywhere.

"It's fine. You already do too much for me," were my sister's words I couldn't accept because she wouldn't even look me in the eye.