Toll
He watched Victoria and Bobby talk and giggle and have fun together. He was smiling, too, when he wasn't fretting over what was happening at Caesar's place right now. Seeing his sister happy like this made him feel a lot more at ease and hopeful that she wasn't going to relapse. He just worried about something big happening to trigger her into a relapse. He wished he could stop thinking about it so much.
"This might be too forward," Bobby said now, "but...who is my dad?"
Toll clenched his stomach, looking at Victoria to see her reaction. She had a frozen smile on her face, but he could tell it had thrown her off guard.
"Um," she tried, pushing her hair back slightly. "He...he was an abusive man, and I left him. He never knew I was pregnant, and that was for the best."
"Oh. I'm sorry," Bobby said sincerely. Victoria smiled at him and patted his hand.
"It's okay," she said. "It's my history. I accept it."
Toll kept quiet. He knew that this man was part of the reason his sister didn't stay in relationships with men very long. She feared getting hurt, so she fled first.
"What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?" Bobby asked them now, and Toll snorted.
"Weeeeell," Victoria drawled, smirking at Toll.
"Here we go," he sighed. But it was worth it just to see his nephew smile.
Gunner & Yang
They hadn't exactly gone home to sleep at first. Gunner was wired, as was Yang, so they went to the shooting range to release some adrenaline. Gunner wasn't sure why Yang was getting along with him right now, but he wasn't going to say anything. His mind was too full as it was.
"Hulk missed," Yang commented, gesturing to the paper at the end. He smirked at Gunner but then noticed the look on the man's face. He suspected it had something to do with Victoria.
"What's up?" he asked. He loaded his gun while he waited. Gunner sighed and ran a hand over his hair.
"I'm scared she relapsed," he confessed, and Yang set his gun down slowly.
"When?"
"The other night. She wanted to go to a party and hang out with friends, and I had to get the hell out of there, but before I left, I saw her. I saw her face, Yang. She looked like she'd..."
"Used?"
"Or came really, really close to," Gunner said. "I'm scared she's gonna relapse, and then I don't know what I'm gonna do because I don't want to relapse again. I don't. I want to be sober for good this time."
"Well, just keep talking to her about it."
"Her son coming into her life is a significant event," Gunner said. "It's reminding her of the past and why she gave him up. I worry it's triggering her."
"She's got you, Toll...all of us to support her," Yang promised. "It'll be okay."
"I hope so," Gunner said quietly. "I...I love her. I just realized it recently. I love her, and that scares me."
"Love can be scary," Yang agreed.
"The thing is: I can't imagine being without her," he went on. "She's a part of me now like my right arm...losing her will break me."
"We can pick up the pieces, Gunner," Yang said to him solemnly. "All of us...we will help." He met the big man's eyes, and he saw gratefulness there.
"Thanks, Shorty," Gunner replied, grinning now. "Now, let's have a rematch."
"You're on."
With every pull of the trigger, Yang let more and more of his angst and stress melt away.
The Next Morning
Lee
Lee let himself inside and braced for Rupert's eager greeting. He was unable to stay mad at the dog for long, which was a weakness he was discovering more and more. He rubbed Rupert down all the way to his tail before giving him a playful swat to send him off. Then he set his keys down on the counter and sighed as he moved to his bedroom, shedding his t-shirt along the way. He craved a shower. And sleep. And proper food. And bandaids. He'd nicked himself one too many times trying to do that damn pipe in the bloody dark.
He was so lost in thought that he almost missed the figure sitting in the chair in his living room. He stopped short, turning his head slightly to get a better look. His heart started to race, and his hand moved to his hip where his gun would have been until he saw who it was for sure.
"Norah," he said, shocked. He dropped his hand. "What're you doing here?" She was sitting there fidgeting with her fingers while looking broken.
"I don't know," she whispered. "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."
"What happened?" He was trying to understand why she was here. Why wasn't she with her father? She wiped at her eyes with her hand and sniffed, looking down at her lap next.
"They got upset that I'm living here," Norah explained after a moment. "My dad was getting worked up again, and I...I just couldn't hurt him again, so I left." She finally looked at him again, and he felt responsible for this. If he'd just disclosed this information to her in the beginning, she probably would have left and never looked back. She wouldn't be having these conflicts with her father over it.
"You don't think your leaving is hurting him?" he challenged.
"It would be worse if I had stayed."
"You don't know that for sure."
"Why are you trying to make me feel worse?" Norah asked, getting to her feet now.
"I'm not," he insisted. "I'm just trying to understand is all." He searched her face, and she looked so anguished that his heart started to break a little.
"I'm just nothing but a f***ed up mess," she said. "I hurt everyone I touch. I can't make the right decisions. I...I can't even make sense of my own thoughts right now." She pressed her hands into her eyes, and Lee couldn't take it anymore. He tucked his shirt into his back pocket and moved to wrap her into his arms, and at first she was tense, but soon after she relaxed into him and put her arms around him as well.
"It's gonna be alright," he told her. He knew part of her angst was him. If he didn't have someone after him, he probably would be in a relationship with her right now. He kept holding her long after she stopped crying, and she just stayed there in his arms without saying a word.
"I'm sorry," she said eventually, pulling out of his arms. "The last thing you need right now is a hot mess on your hands."
Lee said nothing as he reached to rest his hand against her cheek. She just looked at him as he smoothed his thumb over her tears gently.
"I'm glad you're back," he said softly. It was the truth. He had missed her even though they hadn't been apart for very long this time.
"Me too."
"But I think you should call your dad."
"Yea," she said, nodding slowly. "I know. I will. Eventually." She held his gaze, and he forced himself to take his hand back before he lost control and pulled her in to kiss her.
"I'm gonna clean up," he said, gesturing towards his bathroom. "We can talk more after if you want."
"I don't really have much else to say," she replied. "But thank you. I appreciate it." She smiled at him a little, and he pulled the left corner of his mouth up into a half smile back at her. Rupert went to press against her as he walked away, and he heard her talking to the dog before shutting the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror and exhaled slowly. He closed his eyes briefly before continuing on with his shower.
He wished again for things to be different.
Joe
He felt bad. He really did. It was just that he was so angry at Barney for being who he was and nearly getting Marcy killed in the past, so he'd made what he thought was the right choice and banned him from the girls' lives. Joe was confident that experience of almost getting killed made Marcy even more depressed and head down that dark path further and further, even though Barney said she'd struggled with it her entire life.
He shifted his legs under the blankets. The hospital bed was starting to feel uncomfortable. He wanted to get out of there. He wanted to go home.
"Hi, Dad," Rose said, coming in now with a coffee in her hand. His mouth watered. At last, proper coffee! He reached for it, and she handed it to him.
"Thanks," he said, cradling it in both hands.
"She's not answering my calls," Rose said with a sigh, sitting down and running a hand through her hair.
"Give her some time. She'll come around."
"Why are you so against us knowing our uncle?" she asked curiously, and he ground his jaw for a moment, thinking of a response.
"I'd like to think that if you had a brother-in-law who managed to get people he loved in danger because of his job or used as leverage/held hostage, you wouldn't want him in Oscar's life either."
"I get it," Rose said slowly, "but...isn't that kind of sad? Isolating family from each other because of their job?"
"Don't side with Norah," Joe said in almost a whine.
"I'm not taking sides. I'm just wondering," Rose insisted, but he could tell she was indeed siding with Norah. He was outnumbered. He sighed roughly and rested his head back against the pillows propped behind him. He had no choice. He had to tell her.
"Your mother almost got killed before you girls were born," he said quietly. "Barney had gotten tangled up with a really bad guy, and Marcy got taken hostage for a bit. She never told me what happened to her, but I know it was bad. Her mental health grew worse after, and even you girls couldn't help her feel better, not that it was your job to. I just really thought a family would help her move forward. She was stuck, though. She couldn't get past it, and, well...you know how it ended."
"Oh," Rose said sadly. She looked pained. "Poor Mom."
"Yea. I never wanted him around, but she insisted he was family and let him visit. When she died, I finally had no opposition, and I sent him away. He didn't fight it, so I knew he understood."
Rose was quiet but looking thoughtful. Joe sipped his coffee, enjoying the taste of it. His daughter finally exhaled and patted a hand to her leg before standing up.
"I have to pick up Oscar from Winston's and take him to his friend's," she said, going over to kiss his head gently. "I'll see you later tonight, okay?"
"Okay."
Rose gave him a small smile before leaving, and Joe wondered what she was thinking as her footsteps slowly faded away into the distance.
Norah
She felt miserable. Everything was a mess, and now she felt bad for running away from her father and sister. She just wanted to disappear. The sound of Lee shutting his dresser drawer down the hall made her look towards his room. She wanted to have someone want her. She'd thought that would be Lee, but he was making it clear otherwise. She'd always felt like an outcast, but now...now she felt completely, utterly alone.
She stood, heading for the door. She suddenly just needed to get away.
"Norah?" Lee's voice called behind her as the screen door slammed. She hurried to her car, pulling the door open and getting in. She started the engine, threw on her seatbelt, and peeled out of there. She wasn't sure where she was going to end up, but a diner caught her attention. It was the same one Toll had taken her to. She pulled in, suddenly starving. When she walked inside, she saw Toll himself in the back booth sipping a coffee. He looked up as if sensing her watching him. His face broke into a smile.
"Hey," he said.
She felt a smile start on her face too. Toll liked her. He'd made it obvious. Maybe she was crazy for waiting. Why wait for something when it is right in front of you? Why push away someone who made it known that they wanted you? Toll was cute and funny. She could fall for him.
"Hey," she said back. Then she took a step towards him.
Barney & Tool
He looked up as Tool came shuffling into view in his pajama pants and robe, which was undone. Barney suppressed a snicker, knowing it would earn him something getting chucked at his head. It was hard not to imagine Tool chasing those animals around.
"It is so much quieter around here," Tool commented, pouring himself a coffee. "That damn dog and cat were a nightmare."
"Are you really gonna put something on Lee's skull?" Barney asked.
"Nah," Tool replied. "I just like keeping the fear of God in him...keeps him on his toes."
"I won't say anything."
"I know you won't, brother." Tool smirked back at him and shook his head. He sat down and released a groan as he did so. "How was overwatch?"
"Nothing special happened. I had a feeling that maybe they wanted Caesar's family to split up, so I sent Yang to stay with her and her family."
"Makes sense."
"Everything okay with Bobby and Victoria?" Barney had heard about it and was glad Victoria had decided to meet her son after all.
"So far. My daughter has called me ten times in the last twelve hours," Tool replied. "I'm not answering because I don't want her to ruin this for Bobby. I know that's all she wants is to pull him away. She doesn't want me in his life let alone his biological mother."
"I see."
They sat quiet for a while. Barney pulled over the newspaper and scanned the headlines. Nothing jumped out at him; it was mostly just news about celebrities. When Tool finished his coffee, he got up and rinsed out his mug before putting some bread in the toaster. Barney's mind wandered over to Joe. He knew the man was still angry at him for what had happened to Marcy. It was something he lived with every single day; the guilt was immense at times. He'd never meant for her to get hurt like that.
"Well," Tool said once he finished eating. "I'm off to work. When you see Lee, do this..." He mimicked running a tattoo gun over his head, and Barney snickered.
"Will do," he promised. He kept chuckling quietly to himself long after Tool was gone. It was gonna be so much fun.
Yang
"Fish!" Sasha exclaimed, grinning at him. Yang held the cards up to his nose, looking over them at her with slightly narrowed eyes. She giggled.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his tone implying he believed she was fibbing.
"I'm positive," Sasha replied, tilting her head to the right and swaying side to side slightly in her wheelchair. Yang heaved a dramatic sigh and reached to pick up a card. He pretended to be heavy in thought as he looked at his cards.
"Any queens?" she asked him.
"Fish."
"Any nines?" he asked when she had her new card, lifting a brow. He watched her twist her lips as she looked at her cards. The tell was the way she sucked her lips in afterwards. Her eyes flicked over to him, and he lifted his brow higher to indicate he was aware she had some.
"Yea," she said reluctantly, handing two over. He put the four of them down off to the side. He looked over when Will came into the room and flopped down on the recliner with a heavy sigh.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Mom won't let us do anything fun," Will complained.
"This is fun," Yang said, holding up his cards. Will made a face.
"Card games are for babies," he retorted.
"Not so much," Yang insisted.
"Sevens?!" Sasha asked loudly. He handed her the one in his hand. She bounced in her seat, excited.
"Wait," Yang said, looking at her. "I got a card from you. I was to go again."
"Nooo," Sasha said, giggling. Yang wagged a finger at her.
"That is rule of the game," he said.
"Not my version," she tried.
"Sasha," Char said, coming in then. She looked tired, frazzled. "Honey, don't disregard the rules of the game, okay?"
"Okaaaaay."
Yang held his hand out for his card back, and she reluctantly gave it to him. Then he took her sevens as payback, which made her groan and laugh.
"Mom, can we go see Dad?" Will asked hopefully.
"Not yet, baby."
"When can we go home?"
"Hopefully soon." Char gave Yang a meaningful look, and he bobbed his head. She knew why he was there. The kids were under the impression he'd just come for a visit. He watched Char go back to the kitchen with Will on her heels before turning his attention back to Sasha. It made him feel pain inside, thinking about how he could have had a family and done this in the evenings or on weekends. He felt pain for all the things he missed and would never have. He swallowed hard.
"Jacks?" he asked her now.
"Doh!" Sasha exclaimed, handing all three over to him. He smiled. At least he had his honorary niece and nephew to spend time with. That was always something he enjoyed, even though he let on he didn't like to babysit. It was his secret.
"Fours?" he asked next, and she sucked in her lips.
He smiled.
Lee
Norah hadn't come back while he slept during the day, and he couldn't wait for her because he had to go. He met up with Barney back at the house when dusk started to fall. Gunner met them at the back door.
"Anything?" he asked.
"Naw," Gunner answered. "Just crickets."
"And the mouse," Caesar said, sounding bitter. "Don't forget the hole you almost put in the wall over the damn mouse."
"It was a rat," Gunner said defensively. Behind his back, Caesar shook his head and mouthed, "mouse."
"We'll take it from here, big guy," Barney said, reaching to pat Gunner's shoulder before stepping inside past him. Lee followed. Once they were in position, he pulled out the pipe again.
"You still working on that?" Caesar asked.
"I kind of have to," Lee retorted.
"Oh, that reminds me," Barney said, looking at him from across the room. "Tool sent a message."
"What?" Lee asked warily. He watched as Barney mimicked tattooing his own head, and he sighed. He was beginning to wonder if Tool was just trying to keep him on edge and not actually going to do anything. He didn't quite trust it, though.
"I think the silhouette of a city skyline would look awesome," Caesar said, eyeing up Lee's head.
"I think the carbon copy of his face on the back of his head would be better," Barney suggested.
"Ha! You're right! A permanent scowl on both sides."
"Alright," Lee growled, annoyed. "That's enough."
"Even just a pair of eyes," Caesar went on, ignoring him.
"With accented eyebrows pointing down in the middle," Barney sniggered.
Lee let out an aggravated sigh, but it didn't stop their fun. They continued coming up with wild tattoo ideas while Lee worked to tune them out. He was worried about Norah, if he was honest. She'd been upset that morning and then just disappeared. She wouldn't answer her phone. It was making him uneasy. Had something happened to her? Had his past found her and figured out he was crazy about her while lying about it?
He fingered his cell phone in his pocket again, contemplating calling once more. It vibrated on cue, and he pulled it out almost too eagerly. His eyes scanned the message, and he frowned.
At Toll's. Don't worry about me.
His heart lurched whether he liked it or not. What was she doing at Toll's? Had she been with him all day? His heart started to beat faster. Was that who she was going to move on with? He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. What had he done? He'd pushed her into the arms of his friend, that's what he'd done.
He forced himself to put his phone away and breathe. It might mean nothing. She was friends with the team. She probably was just hanging out. Yea, that was all. But still...
Lee knew how much Toll liked her. If Norah wasn't going to instigate anything, who's to say Toll wouldn't?
Barney unleashed a violent, phlegmy cough, making him jump at the sudden noise. He glared over at his friend, who was wiping his mouth with the back of his hand once finished.
"What?" Barney asked.
"You really should get that looked at," Lee answered, looking back out the window. He'd put the pipe away for now. It resembled more of a squatty duck with a long beak than a pipe. He was good with knives but not with carving. He was screwed.
"I think a bullet's gonna take me out before a cough does," Barney retorted. Lee just rolled his eyes and shook his head. His brain went back to thinking about Norah and Toll.
And he really didn't like it.
Toll
There really wasn't anything that could erase the grin on his face. Even Victoria had noticed, and she'd commented on it while they stood side by side in the kitchen getting ready to do dishes. Norah and Bobby were conversing at the table in the other room.
"You really like her," Victoria noted, looking sideways at him. "Did you finally ask her out?"
"Not entirely," Toll answered, rinsing a plate. He thought back to earlier that day when Norah found him in the diner. She'd come to sit and talk, and he'd listened as she shared about her mother and her father. He'd been surprised to learn that Barney was her uncle, but he could kind of see it. He'd empathized with her frustration towards Lee and how she wanted to find someone who wanted her for who she was.
Well, he did.
"What does that even mean?" Victoria asked, lifting a brow as she squeezed dish soap into the sink and started running the faucet. Toll rested his hands against the counter as he watched, the drying towel slung over his shoulder.
"I don't know," he said honestly. "She's just left whatever it was she did with Lee, and she's vulnerable, so I don't want to take advantage of that, but at the same time, I want her to know how much I care about her."
"So tell her," Victoria said with a shrug. "What could be the harm?"
"I guess I keep thinking about Lee," Toll replied. It did haunt him a little. He didn't want to have a problem with Lee. He considered him a friend. He didn't know what was going on or why he'd ended things with Norah, but he knew Lee and knew there had to be a valid reason. A part of him didn't want to know, though, because if he did, then he'd bow out and let Norah eventually go back to him.
He didn't really want to do that.
"Why? He dumped her," Victoria snorted. "His loss. I wouldn't let that interfere."
"I guess..."
"Life's too short, Nick," his sister advised, looking at him. "Don't waste time when the answer is so clear." He held her gaze, knowing she was right, and Norah had spent all day with him, so that said something.
"Hey," Norah said, appearing then. "You cooked, I clean. Go spend time with your son. He's amazing, by the way." She bumped Victoria out of the way and took over washing. Victoria smiled at Toll over Norah's shoulder.
"I like her," she advised, drying off her hands. She gave Toll's shoulder a squeeze on her way by, and Toll smiled. He worked quietly alongside Norah, their hands touching every so often as she set a dish on the rack and he reached for one at the same time. It sent tingles down his arm every time.
"Thanks for today," Norah said after a while, looking at him. She was draining the sink now. "I really needed it."
"Anytime," Toll replied, and he meant it. Then, there was a moment, and he didn't know what to do at first, but in the end, he decided to just go with it. He set down his towel and took a step into her, cupping her face with his right hand and kissing her soundly. It appeared she'd expected it because she kissed him back without any hesitation. All thoughts of Lee left his head as he kept kissing her. He didn't want to be second place anymore. He wanted to be the one someone wanted. He was looking for the exact same thing Norah was. If that didn't make them a good match, he didn't know what did.
Norah made a "hmm" noise in her throat when he stopped a moment later. He looked into her eyes and traced her cheek with his finger lightly.
"I've wanted to do that for a while," he said honestly.
"I'm glad you did it," she replied.
"I respect things are a bit of a mess right now," he went on. "I'm in no hurry."
"I appreciate that."
"I guess I just wanted you to know. How I feel. For sure," he added awkwardly.
"I know," she said softly. He wanted to kiss her again, but Victoria called for him to join their game, so he decided to leave Norah wanting more. He'd meant what he said: he was in no hurry. He'd let this slow burn happen, and the end result would only be sweeter for it.
The Next Morning
Lee
Gunner replaced them and had fun waking Caesar up. Barney and Lee let Caesar sleep through the night so he could keep watch during the day. Lee was seriously wondering how long this was going to go on for. He wanted it over and done with. He wanted his past to just come and get dealt with already.
He found Norah in the kitchen in her shorts and tank top humming to herself as she cooked on the stove, her bare foot rubbing up and down her leg while the other was planted on the floor.
"Hey," she said to him. "You want something to eat?"
"No. I'm going to bed," he answered.
"Okay. I'm gonna see Tool today and apologize for the mess."
Lee nodded. He had texted her that earlier, having forgotten to tell her in person. He was still picking up on something from her, though.
"Are you alright?" he asked, and she met his eyes. His heart sank. The answer to his unasked question seemed to be there. She'd done something with Toll.
"Yea," she replied. "I'm gonna call my Dad soon."
"Good."
He kept looking at her, mentally trying to make her tell him. He didn't want to ask. It appeared, though, that she was going to make him say it after all.
"You were with Toll?" he asked.
"Yes," she confirmed, nodding. "Lee, I...something happened."
Oh God. There it was. He swallowed. He did his best not to show it bothered him.
"Okay," he said slowly.
"I told you I was going to move on."
"You did."
"And...and we kissed. Tol - Nick and I," Norah clarified. "It just happened, but it felt...right. I'm sorry."
"It's alright," Lee said, feeling like he couldn't breathe suddenly. "We're not gonna work out, so who says you can't just hop onto the next one?"
"Lee," Norah said, her voice a bit sharp.
"It's fine," he insisted, backing away from her now and heading to his room. "It's your life."
"Don't do this to me," she said, following him.
"I'm not doing anything," he advised, holding his hands up. He turned and went into his room, dropping his bag onto the floor with a loud thud. She stood in the doorway with crossed arms. He hoped she wouldn't let her food catch fire on his stove.
"You're being a jerk," she pointed out. "I told you: I can't wait forever for you, and I do like Nick."
She was calling him by his real name. That meant she really did like him. Lee felt gutted, but he knew she was right to do what she wanted. He just didn't want to admit that out loud.
"Who am I to judge you moving on so quickly?" he asked.
"It's not like we had a long relationship to move on quickly from," she shot back. He ground his jaw. She had a point. They'd technically only had one night together. Their goodbye was shortly after that. Apparently the emotional part of their relationship meant nothing, but then again, he'd been the one to imply it hadn't in his haste to end it and keep her safe. Why was he surprised she was now acting like it didn't? He shouldn't be.
"Don't come crying to me when it falls apart," he said a bit nastily. He was protecting himself, really, by using this anger towards her. He didn't want to get hurt anymore than he already was, and yes, he knew this all was his own damn fault. He was very aware of that.
"Oh, trust me, I won't," she snapped back, turning to leave. "Asshole." She was gone, and Lee did his best to try and get his breath back. He clenched and unclenched his fists. He swallowed down the hurt and jealousy as best as he could. He'd done this to himself. It was too late. He'd made his choice. He'd left her; she'd moved on.
There was no going back now.
Norah
She stood by the stove, shaking. That tension between her and Lee was still there, and she didn't know how to feel about it. Yes, kissing Toll had been very nice, but it had not been as intense as Lee's. She couldn't have Lee, though, so she had to move on. She didn't need hot passion anyway. Toll was a good man. He liked her, he wanted her. He was interested in her. That's what she wanted. And she hadn't lied. She did like him. It was just a different like than what she'd experienced with Lee, but that was normal. You couldn't like two people the same when they were different.
The bathroom door slammed and the shower started, and she shook her head and did her best to stop thinking about Lee. Rupert was begging for scraps, so she tossed him some bacon. Sassy was hiding somewhere. She'd heard about the massacre of Tool's place and felt so bad, and she was planning on going to make it up to him at some point. She was heading to work in the afternoon, having told Dino she was back and good to go. He'd sounded relieved on the phone.
She sat down with her food but suddenly didn't feel like eating. She felt slightly sick. Lee or Toll. Toll or Lee. It was tormenting her. She knew she had to be absolutely sure of what she wanted before moving ahead. She didn't want to hurt Toll. She was aware that her emotional state right now might be dictating her actions, but she knew her emotions would pass and things would be okay. It was just a kiss. They weren't jumping into more than that right now. She wasn't just speeding into it and going all out. This was going to be a gradual thing; they'd get to know each other more first. And Lee was done with her, so there really was no going back to him. She had to keep reminding herself of that.
She picked at her food, thinking hard. She could see herself with Toll. He was funny, kind, and sweet. She did feel something at his kiss, and that meant something. She sighed and rested her forehead in her hand, her hair draping around her face. She decided she needed to get her mind off of it all, so she pulled out her phone to call her father.
It was time.