Thank you's to these supermegafoxyawesomehawt hawties: ShiningHeart of ThunderClan, Aquila Audax, TurtlesAreFast, Mai Kusakabe, Juliedoo, 10th Squad 3rd Seat, Shinigami-Kira-1917,Alkitty, Aloe Wera, Shikyo-Jinsei, Velonica14, Rejar, Yami Krismiya, Rumu, Sharky Shark, Legacy009, bleck, amaya-tsuki-chan, Sheep, butterflyfreak,and Turkishkraker.
—
methyl nitrate pineapples
hypothesis #7
cat may look at a king
—
The Tournesol was in smoking ruins.
Law landed roughly, skidding on the dirt, Shachi following close behind. Dust rose in the thick, ashy air. A wall post creaked and thudded on top of a massive pile of blackened timber. It'd be difficult to find anyone underneath the rubble. Most would've been charred by now, he could tell from the grease collecting on his lips.
Hai Xing kicked aside a piece of the door and uncovered a twitching, bloodied hand. He prodded it with the tip of his boot.
"Not them," Law observed, and walked past the dying bodies.
Shachi climbed on the remains of the counter, up the tallest support beam. "Penguin! Anko! Stop messing around and get out here! You idiots can't die yet, we still have stuff to do!"
The pile of wood shuddered. Arms windmilling, Shachi toppled over and rolled into a summersault right as the trapdoor opened.
"Hey," his face lit up, "you're alive!"
Penguin held the hatch up from under a huge heap of wreckage. He was streaked in soot and half his sleeve was missing; all in all, he looked reasonably irritated for someone who survived a gunpowder explosion. "Did you just call me an idiot?"
Shachi beamed. "Yep!"
Law shoved away the wreckage with a single push. "Where's—"
"Down here." Penguin dropped down the ladder.
The only light came from the small square of the trapdoor, but it was enough. Shachi covered his mouth with a low, "Shit." Anko lay on the ground, cloaks pressed over the wound on his side. He grinned as Law knelt by his side.
"Hey, Capitaine," he rasped. "I ever tell ya how pretty yer eyes are?"
When Law exhaled, it may have been something akin to relief. "Trust me—you say that all the damn time. Room!" A small blue glow enveloped him and his medical bag. White gloves, a needle, and bottle of rubbing alcohol appeared in his awaiting palm. "I'm starting the operation now."
"Are you gonna be alright? Do you feel okay?" Shachi leaned over and asked loudly, "Can you hear me?"
Anko showed him his middle finger.
"He'll be alright," Shachi told the others. As the muffled screaming began, he peered down into the long, gaping tunnel of darkness. "Where does this thing lead?"
"No idea. It was pure luck we came across it." Penguin leaned against the rough wall, sharp stones digging into his back. "Does this place feel familiar to anyone else?"
For the first time, Hai Xing spoke up. "The cavern under the island." The light from above fell against his hat and obscured him in shadows. He pressed his ear against the stone, running his fingers along the cracks. A whisper in the wind, salty foam, tide breaking against shore. "Can you hear that? She's calling us."
The street along the burned Tournesol swarmed with battle. Blood ran down the cobbles like spilt wine.
—
"I wish to escape this loathsome island," the copper-haired princess said. "Please explain to me the circumstances of your arrival."
Sophie processed this information and found herself gripped by hostile dislike. "Hold up. You're telling me… you want to abandon your country?"
"Well—not the most ideal way to put it—"
"Are you serious? You—you cast your lot in with the traitors already, now you w-want to save yourself? You want to leave b-behind e-everyone now!?" She couldn't believe this. It was Vira all over again. "They are your people! S-screw everything else, you have a responsibility to p-protect them, you… coward!"
A growl ripped from the monster's throat.
Sophie stumbled back into the bookcase. The door was eight feet straight in front. Could make it. Windows, three. Could jump.
"Odin," Lisbeth touched his arm, "please return to Father's side before he remembers to be suspicious. I am secure here," she added with a bit more force.
Those terrible scars running over his joints and his neck had signs of experimentation written all over it. There were numbers carved on his dog tags, and as he finally ducked out of the bedchamber she glimpsed: J141789. Now that was familiar… where had she seen… oh.
Oh.
"What is it?"
The latch snapped into place. She glanced sharply at Lisbeth. "What's what?"
"You…" Her fingers found her braid, tugging at it. "Forgive me, it appeared you had a look of d-dawning cognizance…"
Sophie tilted a slightly skewed painting of an orange lily. "It's nothing. You talk weird."
"Is—is my sesquipedalian grandiloquence bothering you? I am trying to limit my circumlocution."
Sophie opened her mouth.
Sophie shut her mouth.
"…Right." She shook her head. "Can we just get right to it and do something about the war? Because, I mean, the fiery pits of destruction outside are a rather pleasing shade of utter chaos—"
"'Do something about the'—have you been listening at all?" Lisbeth directed her glare at a tasseled pillow, not making eye contact.
"Pff, forgive me if my bodily functions might be a little skewed on account of being kidnapped by your mutant pet."
Her mouth sharpened into a thin line. She looked up. "Odin is not my pet. Please do not—do not speak of him as such again."
Princess, Sophie reminded herself, she was a princess. Obey royalty. Obey the sovereign leader. Obey the old ways and tradition. If only the World Government had step-by-step instructions on quelling a civil war in ninety minutes or less. Clearly she'd have to author the book when she got back.
"Jacques Straw is dead," Lisbeth said. "Anatole is rising. No one can stop it now. If by eschewing my country you mean my people, I would challenge that assumption. But if by country you mean this island, then—yes. Caitiff as I am, it is the only way for anyone left to survive. Now, my father still has a boat locked up somewhere, if we use that—"
"I don't help traitors," Sophie responded flatly.
Lisbeth stepped back. Her shoulders crawled up to her ears. How passive, Sophie observed. This sad, passive princess with a skinny neck and white dress. Jacques Straw (and Romarin, assumingly) had been the main force behind the movement. Lisbeth was desperate. Most likely the only thing she could do was make a run for it, easing collateral damage.
Sophie rubbed her forehead with the insides of her wrists. She couldn't give the Heart Pirates away. Not because it was the right thing to do, but because Law would definitely find a way inside the castle and murder her where she stood.
"But," she continued, "if you answer one of my questions first, I'll consider it a fair trade."
Lisbeth swayed on her heels, pulled on her braid, and nodded.
"Tell me where Khanwari is. I want to talk with him."
Lisbeth stared at her. "...What?"
"Here's how it's gonna go down. I'll convince Khanwari to destroy the wall surrounding the island. The rebels' main grief is that they can't leave, right? Once they see they have the option to, they—they'll just leave! War over, peace established. Easy as diagramming dipole-dipole interactions. And he'll have to listen to me because I'm basically an emissary from the World Government."
She didn't care if she sounded high on optimism sugar-dust; if she focused all her atoms into believing in it hard enough, it would work. It had to.
Without responding, Lisbeth walked past the armoire and the vanity, over to the arched windows. Her dark profile took on a faint red glow as she pulled the curtains back. Clouds of smoke rose in plumes over Anatole. Whole rows of buildings were up in flames, the sky roiled like an angry god, setting itself on fire.
Lisbeth pointed. "There."
It was a section of the grounds, surrounded by small trees, barely in Sophie's view. It was only grass and small mounds every few feet… piled up dirt… ohhh ewww…
"Those are the prisoners Father buried alive in order to feed the sunflowers. There are more in the fields. Hundreds more."
"That is horrific." Sophie considered. "And poetic."
"It is not about freedom. The rebels do not want liberation. They want revenge. Do not try to be a hero." Her breath misted on the window. "Darnay was a hero. And Darnay died."
"An underwater tunnel," Sophie interrupted, because at this point Lisbeth was just repeating everything she'd been telling herself for the past twenty-four hours. "That's how I entered. It's impossible to swim to the surface unless you have a steel-reinforced body accounting for water pressure and can hold your breath for about half an hour. Or if you're a fishwoman. Are you a fishwoman?"
"Then how did you—"
"I thought so," Sophie chirped. "Now let's try my plan."
"How are you so lionhearted?" Lisbeth asked quietly.
The absurdity of the question made her stop. She couldn't remember a moment in the past week when she hadn't been terrified of dying. Death was constant, Vira had drilled in her, and she knew with certainty she'd never see how old age looked on her. It wasn't the inevitable act that caused her so much dread, but the lack of… everything that followed. No more chemistry, no more Hippo…
"The World Government bows to no one, especially not some insignificant, upstart tyrant," Sophie laughed. "He can't even tyrant right. He's p-putting us to shame." She gripped her left wrist, forcing it to stop shaking. "Obviously I'm s-scared. I want to escape just as b-badly as you."
But for what other reason did the war leave her alive? Why else had she been allowed to live but to achieve the victory they never could? Law rescuing her, meeting Sid and Nellie, Doflamingo burning Crawfish Island—it seemed as if an invisible hand was setting up the game and guiding the cards as they landed. In the back of her mind, if she listened closely, Sophie could hear a grand clockwork scheme ticking down.
Cat's Eye had to be her reason.
It had to.
"But if I do, there will never be another chance. So if I'm going to do something about it, I'm going to do it right." This was for G-13, for the Vice Admiral, and for the ghosts she was finally putting to rest. No more nightmares after this, she promised herself. "I'll send Khanwari off to a World Government tribunal and have him tried for crimes against humanity."
Lisbeth was quiet.
"I approve," the princess said finally.
Sophie tapped her chin. "Aren't you suppose to love him? The whole parent thing?"
"Until this afternoon, I had allied myself with a group of revolutionaries determined to overthrow the monarchy which will likely result in his violent death."
"Fair point. Family dinners must be awkward."
Lisbeth gave a very unprincesslike groan. "You have absolutely no idea."
A chuckle escaped Sophie's mouth. She touched her lips, blinking.
"Tentative agreement," she said with a nod. "Let us try it your way. We shall wait until the sky is vespertine to strike."
"What?"
"…Nighttime."
"Okay, one last thing." Sophie took out a weighty blue tome and flipped it around, enjoying the musty old book smell. It would be an effective bludgeoning tool. "You wouldn't happen to know about those girls outside the Tournesol, would you?"
"I inquire upon the import of the question?" At Sophie's blank look, she scratched her cheek. "I was in the castle all day except to warn Romarin. What happened?"
Sophie patted her on the braid. "Nah, I didn't think it'd be you anyway… well, it's time to formally introduce myself. Strangways Sophie, genius chemist, combat medic of the Twenty-First Regiment's Third Battalion Alpha Company, lover of squishy things." She stuffed the book under her arm and held out her hand. "Let's cooperate for a bit, Princess-san."
Her palm was surprisingly rough and callused. "I trust you, Strangways Sophie."
Sophie grinned. Things were finally going right for once. Make-it-up-as-I-go-along wasn't that bad of a tactic. Now she had the princess on her side, along with her monster in an iron mask…
"And those men who came with you? They are your crew, correct?"
Sophie heard her brain screech to an abrupt stop.
—
This was getting to be something of a problem, Bepo decided.
He crossed his paws and thought back to earlier that day. Everything was going smoothly until the mortar hit and he was separated from the others. Then the alley he was wandering in got lit up by a firebomb and burned his cloak off, and he followed his nose right into a riot beside a bakery. Soldier and rebel alike screamed and started emptying their ammunition at him. It wasn't a very nice thing to do, the bread smelled delicious.
Bepo rubbed his cheek, gazing at the pile of bodies strewn across the alley. Well, Captain would find this more amusing than anything else.
"P-please… don't… hurt m-me…"
His gaze skipped over to a soldier curled up against the side of the bakery.
"Do you know which way the Tournesol is?" Bepo wiped the blood off on his suit, instantly morose again. Boiler suits so rarely came in size XXL these days…
"I… I d-don't…" She swallowed. "Maybe a view… f-f-from higher up… would be m-more practical?"
He'd seen something tallish rising above the city a few blocks back! He'd have a bird's-eye view of all of Anatole. "Great idea, thanks!"
—
"They won't attack the castle, I think… I'm pretty sure? Seventy-five percent?" Sophie nervously rearranged another shelf of books. "…Fifty-five? Which is still a slight majority, if you're counting."
Lisbeth wasn't. She paced around the room, muttering, "I am trying to have a positive outlook. I am trying to see ways we can achieve this. I am trying to see the glass half-full."
"Good. That's good!"
"But there is no water!" Lisbeth wailed. "There is not even a cup!"
She rested her head against the wall and just stood there.
Sophie pulled out one of the mushrooms popping up on her head. "Not so good." She tossed the mushroom over her shoulder and said bracingly, "Look, I've been around them for like, barely two days. I don't know them at all. We're basically strangers. I… don't know why I'm telling you this. But their captain is crazy smart and I know for a fact they'll only raid at the most opportune time."
A loud knock sent surprise jolting up their shoulders.
"Princess! Stay in your room and don't open the door! We've been alerted of a mysterious group of men invading the castle!"
Lisbeth stared at Sophie.
She cracked a weak smile. "Um. Yeah." What the pineapples was Law doing, getting seen? "There's no helping it, we gotta move."
"Time for the deraignment," Lisbeth said quietly. "Be brave. Lionhearted."
She hoisted a bow Sophie thought was only for decoration off the wall, and disappeared around the side of the bed. "Two guards are stationed in the hallway." She popped up, pulling on a glove covering her first three fingers and a leather chest-guard over her dress. "We should be able to render them unconscious."
She paused and glanced at Sophie.
"I'm strong," Sophie said defensively. "Are you strong?"
"Decent, I suppose." Lisbeth slung a quiver of arrows on her back. Feeling rather unprotected, Sophie raised her satchel over her chest.
"There are a dozen secret underground tunnels I know of in the castle; the nearest is in the Cat's Eye Tower. We shall escape down there, take a shortcut, and arrive at the throne room. Do not fret, it is a straight path. No branching tunnels." Lisbeth nocked an arrow. "The rebels will be targeting the castle. Their goal is to free the remaining prisoners and most likely scorch this place down."
"Got it. So that leaves…" Sophie took a step back and hefted the thick blue book. "Move aside, Princess-san."
"…Pardon?"
The door crashed open into the guards, sending one smack-dab into the floor. Sophie skidded off the door and rebounded off the wall, barely brushing the other guard with her kick. Too short!
She glimpsed a raised musket and held up the book right as a gunshot blasted. Blown back by the force, Sophie stumbled against a vase of orange lilies. Glass shattered by her feet.
Arrows twanged through the air, catching the guard by the sleeve. She toppled backwards, swearing. Sophie glanced down; the tip of the bullet poked through the back cover. A shiver ran down her spine. Too close.
"I could have unlocked it!" Lisbeth cried, her hair wisps of fire as she spun around.
"But this has more of an effect!" Book in hand, Sophie walloped the handy-with-a-musket guard over the head.
"Look out!"
Before Sophie had time to move, Lisbeth was already there, hollering, "Sorry! Sorry!" as she cracked her bow over the other guard's face. He crumpled to the floor.
Grinning, Sophie examined their handiwork. "Fist bump me, yo."
"You are quite accomplished yourself."
Voices echoed down the hallway—and then came the thud of footsteps.
Sophie backed away. "Time to make with the feet and run!"
They hightailed it down the hallway. It was quite fancy, with high ceilings and fleur-de-lis wallpaper and gold trims. Sophie ogled at the marble busts as she passed by. Lisbeth panted, "Run—faster!"
"You're the one lagging behind," Sophie pointed out, posture perfect with straight knees and trained breathing.
Out the window, thunderclouds crackled with lightning. A storm was coming. A fierce one. Her hope to get this all settled before the storm failed so miserably it tore itself up to pieces and turned into a cantaloupe and jumped off a cliff.
"They are right behind us!" Lisbeth shrieked.
She glanced over her shoulder and swore.
"You wish to do what with a mango!?"
"Princess-san, grab onto me, hold your breath, and close your eyes!"
"Par—par—pardon!?"
Sophie fished around her satchel and found a small pellet. Sucking in a lungful of air, she hurled it behind them.
Black smoke burst through the hallway, knocking one soldier off his feet. Eyes squeezed tight, Sophie could only tell Lisbeth was there by the tug on her shirt. Arms raised, they exploded through the smoke. Lisbeth tugged her sharply to the right and they swerved around a corner.
Sophie chanced another glance back and saw indistinct shadows moving through the haze. "They're still on our tail! Have any trick arrows or something? A timer arrow? An arrow that becomes a boxing glove and punches you in the face?"
"None of those, no," Lisbeth wheezed. Her eyes widened. "Epiphany! Take me hostage!"
Sophie nearly tripped. "Wha—um, no, that is rule number one of stuff I do not do!"
"Sophie—"
"I'm not a lawbreaker! I don't even bootleg music!"
"Do not be so fatuous!"
Sophie gasped. "Did you just call me fat!?"
"I am the princess and I order you to take me hostage!"
Well, freaking fruitcakes.
Guards lined the hallway in front of them. Cold sweat bloomed over her upper lip. Apologizing profusely to her platoon, she grabbed Lisbeth around the waist and tossed her over her shoulder.
"Don't shoot, don't shoot, don't shoot!" Sophie screamed as she careened past dumbfounded soldiers.
Lisbeth nocked another arrow. With a few fast twangs, she subdued the ones who starting giving chase—by pinning them to the wall with their clothes.
"I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS!" Sophie stepped on a soldier's face and leaped down a short flight of stairs. Gorosei forbid the Vice Admiral ever finding out.
The princess—dear mother of pineapples—the princess was actually laughing. "Make a left here! The tower is just beyond!"
Sophie smelled them before she saw the distant figures running closer. Lisbeth, facing the other way, suddenly began kicking and trying to look over her shoulder and shoving hair into Sophie's mouth. It became steadily clearer they were soldiers, who were giving chase to…
"RUN," Anko roared, "RUN—LIKE—A—MOTHERFU—"
"You have to be joking!"
"Second door on the left!" Lisbeth pointed to a small passage branching off the main hallway.
Anko and Hai Xing must've heard, because they diverted course. Sophie did a wild side-step grapevine as she scrambled after them, chucking another bomb over her shoulder. Opaque strands of slime blasted over the ceiling and trapped the soldiers closest to them in a web of sticky goo. The rest stopped and tentatively poked the slime with their muskets.
"How did you accomplish that?" Lisbeth shouted breathlessly.
"Water, glue, and sodium tetraborate. You know, kindergarten stuff." Anko and Hai Xing pushed the heavy oaken door open and Sophie barreled inside. As the pirates moved a wardrobe in front of the door, she sat Lisbeth on the carpet and pointed. "The past five minutes," she said darkly, "never happened."
While the princess' bedroom was large and airy and warm, this place was cold, sparse, and rather small. All the curtains were drawn and the fireplace was covered in ash.
"Father's room," Lisbeth sighed. "We will be safe here for a short while."
Sophie had expected something grandiose and possibly decorated with the heads of his victims, possibly with drawn-on ink mustaches. This was… sort of dismal. She rested against the wardrobe. Only one bomb left. Two had barely been enough to shake off the soldiers.
"By the way, you smell like a public bathroom," Sophie informed Anko.
He patted his side with a grimace. "Sophie-chan, it's been a very long day and we're both bleeding to death, give us a little credit."
"How'd you even get here?"
"There're a whole buncha tunnels running underground, like a maze. We took a wrong turn and got separated from the rest."
"You… should not have entered the tunnels without a guide," Lisbeth tentatively spoke up. "People have been lost there and never found."
Anko nudged Sophie. "Who's she again?"
"The princess."
Her bangs swayed in the small breeze. Sophie realized with a startling jolt of disbelief—what the mangoes, didn't even see it—the tip of Anko's spiked knuckles grazed Lisbeth' nose. The princess stared down at it, cross-eyed.
"Wait—" Sophie gasped, and took a faltering step forward.
"There's this little code I follow," Anko said offhandedly, "you're a threat to my captain, you die."
Sophie's hand snapped over his wrist. "Cut it o-out! She's n-not your enemy; I explained e-everything already." His gaze snapped to her and something dark flashed in his eyes. For a frightening instant she thought he was going to hit her, but the moment passed and he lowered his arm.
"The gold is nothing to me," Lisbeth said. "Take it all. I have more pressing concerns."
Anko blinked. "So I don't get to kill anyone?" Silence. "Fine."
Sophie was startled to see a cloak wrapped around Hai Xing's forearm. "You also got shot?"
"Adrenaline," he sighed. "Don't really feel it."
She didn't know how far to extend her politeness. Their last conversation involved him stoically accusing her of betraying the Heart Pirates and then her disappearing into thin air… so she felt a little bit extremely self-conscious. "Should I—d-do you want me to do something a-about—"
"Nah."
"Okay." A small flare of the lighter casted shadows over the four of them. Beside her, Lisbeth silently counted her remaining arrows. "Um. Did the others—are they alright?"
"Dunno."
"…Okay." Awkward. Clearly an understatement. "Topic change?" Sophie waved her cigarette. "Anyone?"
"Before he invaded," Lisbeth said suddenly, quiet as raindrops slithering down the windowpanes, "the women of Cat's Eye… when they had the same jobs as men, they were paid less. In the castle they could hold no position higher than lady-in-waiting. There were no females who served as a court official, even while they comprised fifty-one percent of the kingdom."
Sophie frowned. "A kingdom actively discriminating against women? I thought they'd all just… disappeared through time."
Lisbeth scrutinized the iron tip of an arrow. "If there is one positive thing my pernicious father has done, it is that he abolished the outdated way of thinking. He named me his heir, when before the throne was passed from father-to-son. Or distant uncle, as was sometimes the case. Agnatic primogeniture."
It left a foul taste in her mouth. Not that it excused Khanwari… but maybe the old rulers weren't all great, either.
"I do not plan to be his successor. I would rather see a democratic republic come to fruition. And one day, hopefully a seat at the Reverie…" She patted her cheeks, blushing. "Ah, but I am getting too ahead of myself."
After everything Cat's Eye had gone through, a democracy would be the best choice. True, there weren't many successful examples to draw upon (Water 7 and Machinastein were the only ones coming to mind)… but the Marines would be setting up a base here to provide support. She'd bring it up with the Vice Admiral when she got back.
"Hey," Sophie was overcome by a strange pull of curiosity, "you ever heard of The Tale of Apolleon?"
A crack of cold grey light ran over Sophie's face, but Lisbeth was shrouded in the gloom. "My mother wrote that."
"Wait—no, seriously? I liked the fancy castles and stuff, but the plot was pretty formulaic—no offense. I thought it might've been connected to Cat's Eye somehow."
"So legend has it, yes. I researched the history books. Do you wish to know the real ending?" Without waiting for an answer, Lisbeth continued, "It is true the royal lineage can trace itself back to Crawfish and Cats Eye, but according to the records… the two people who could most closely be identified as the swamp princess and Alabastian mechanic never reunited." Her smile was faintly bitter. "The king killed them both, then took the crown for himself."
"Ah," Sophie said. "Um."
"Sometimes I think Father invaded this island because she was so fascinated by it," Lisbeth murmured.
Sophie patted her on the braid. "Your family's pretty weird."
Hai Xing leaned over. "My mother died, too."
"Shut up, you little freak," Anko said.
—
It wasn't all hard, climbing up the guard tower. The wind was a bit of a pain, but the stones were loose enough to be used as footholds. Bepo leaped through the window and landed noiselessly. A guard stood with his back facing the polar bear, peering out into the dusk.
"Hello."
He turned and screamed. "B-b-b-bear! Talking bear!"
The musket nearly slipped from his fingers. He caught it, fumbled, caught it again, fumbled some more, and finally managed to raise it shoulder-height. It was facing the wrong way.
Bepo politely threw him off the tower.
Bursts of white flared in the depths of iron-grey clouds. His fur rippled and he could taste the static in the air. He scanned the long stretch of ocean—the yellow speck was the submarine… but just behind it…
Jagged forks of lightning cracked through the black horizon, illuminating a fleet of battleships.
—
"You lost Bepo!?"
Anko almost cringed. It must have been the blood loss. "He's a grown bear; he can take care of himself."
The only words she could find that properly expressed her rage came out as a mess of unintelligible blubbering, "hablaburaugh—stop it, Sophie!" she wheezed at herself. "He's a pirate! Why do I feel so wildly conflicted about this!?"
"So are you, like, into bestiality or something?"
Sophie casually elbowed him in the throat.
Lisbeth shushed them. Sophie ducked low and pressed herself against the wardrobe. "Do you hear that?" the princess whispered, her right eye glowing tyrian in the dusk.
Sophie cocked her head, ears straining. Nothing but the rain and the muffled rumble of thunder.
"Feel like 'm gonna die," Hai Xing mumbled.
"You always feel like that," Anko said sourly, rubbing his throat. His expression cleared. "Shit!"
Sophie glanced at Hai Xing and, for the first time, noticed how glassy and unfocused his eyes were, the sweat dripping down his brow, the shallow breathing.
"Uh—um—no one panic, but he's going into shock and losing too much blood." The cloak was so red it was unlikely anyone could've known it had a previous color. "Anko-san, rest him on the floor over here and rip his sleeve off. Princess-san, does Khanwari carry any medicine in—"
"You're not touching him," Anko growled.
She wondered if she should spoiler!alert him that his crewmate was dying.
"I heard it again," Lisbeth breathed, trembling.
"I'm bringing him to Cap, he's fixing him up," he muttered, slinging the other pirate's arm around his shoulder.
"He'll die before you reach Law-san! Do you even know where he is!?" Argh, she should just let them both die! But she owed these pirates a debt, that was it, and if Law found out she could've saved Hai Xing but didn't, he'd take her head again and put it through a paper shredder (he wouldn't, though, and maybe that was part of the problem). "Look, I'm right here and I can help him!"
Anko glared, and it stunned her frozen. Not one of these pirates, not even Law, had ever looked at her like that.
"Sophie-chan, I trust you about as much as you trust me." He shoved past her. "Outta my way or I'm gonna revisit my policy on not hitting women."
Then, several things happened at once—she heard a gut-wrenchingly familiar wheeeeee from the sky, the floor lurched horribly and slammed her into the wardrobe. Anko tripped into the fireplace. The windows exploded, a shudder rippling through the walls.
"Cannon fire!" Lisbeth bellowed over the howl of the storm. "Rebels are attacking the castle!"
Rain pelted the glass-littered carpet. Sophie made a crazy grab for Hai Xing as he rolled across the floor (while having a deep philosophical discussion with himself about the possibility of an afterlife) and kept two fingers on his pulse. Still discernible. But even more impressive…
"How are you s-still spe-speaking?"
"High pain tolerance. Used to life-threatening danger. Part of the job description." He sounded fantastically bored.
She elevated the wounded arm above his heart, checked his back—no exit wound. The bullet was still lodged in his body. Sophie gripped the sleeve—whatever, she'd just do it herself—and tore the fabric away with a great yank. The smell of metal flowered in the air, thick and heavy. Lisbeth visibly paled and backed away into the wall.
"Anko-san, r-rip those drapes in long strips. Khanwari won't need them anymore."
He clawed ash from his face. "I don't—blegh, blehhfh—take orders from you!"
Sophie opened her mouth furiously.
"Stop being so puerile!" Lisbeth ordered, startling them both. "Now focus all your auditory senses on Sophie or you shall enlighten your captain why you let that man die!"
Ten seconds later, Sophie pressed the strips over the gaping bullet hole.
"I believe the emergency medicine is in here." Lisbeth tried to jimmy open a drawer with a candleholder. "Ugh! Pirate, I request your help to demolish this uncooperative object."
He was looking at her in a vaguely stunned hit-over-the-head-with-a-chair sort of way. "Breaking things? Down with that."
Sophie wiped away beads of sweat, dragging red lines across her skin. Her thoughts came in a chaotic spinning rush: keep the pressure on, elevate the wound, monitor the heart… what else, what else, what else? What was she forgetting? Should she also put pressure on the brachial artery? It'd cut off oxygen flow, only for amputations—but. The human body carried on average five point six liters of blood. Able to lose up to forty percent and survive. This is a lot of blood, the voice in the back of her head whispered.
The walls shook as another mortar hit the castle. This was the first time she was treating someone without a medical pack, IV drips, catheters, the simplest first-aid treatment—and, and if she needed a tourniquet—but she had her lighter, she could maybe try to burn the wound and close it that way if it got really bad—or the shards of glass could be used to cut—
Hai Xing watched her. His hat had fallen off. He had black hair, she realized, and his nose was crooked.
She forced herself steady, controlled. "I won't double-cross you. I'm not letting you die."
"I know," he rasped. "'M sorry about that."
Her hands paused. She stared at him, incredulous.
Hai Xing squinted. "Who're you again?"
Annnd yup. "Princess-san, where's the medicine!? I need anesthesia, bandages…" Lisbeth and Anko stood over the remains of the shattered drawer. "What the pineapple are you doing!?"
Lisbeth slowly turned.
The item she held was shockingly familiar… Sophie couldn't even begin to count all the times she'd seen it in the Vice Admiral's study…
"Why," Lisbeth began slowly, "is Father in possession of a World Government Den Den Mushi?"
Sophie's jaw dropped. "Oh my god—th-this great! Of all the places for the heavens to have finally answered! Anko-san, take over for me, put pressure on the wound here—I can wire the Den Den Mushi to G-13! We can call for help right now! They'll get here in about half a day if the winds are fair. It won't be too late, how much destruction can the rebels cause in twelve hours? …Don't answer that."
"Oi!" Anko pointed to himself and Hai Xing. "Hi. Pirates. Y'know?"
"Oh, you guys'll be far away from Cat's Eye when they arrive. I can't express the magnitude of how much no one cares about what you're doing."
"Should I get angry?" he asked Hai Xing, who responded by briefly falling unconscious.
The Vice Admiral's secretary picked up at the first ring. She could recognize the stiff, nasally voice anywhere. "Vice Admiral Lettidore's office."
Sophie motioned Lisbeth to speak into the receiver. "Y-yes, hello… am I doing it right? I am the princess of Cat's Eye Island, I would like to request aid from G… 13? G-13, yes. Civil war has broken out, please send… help?"
Sophie cringed. Weak attitude. Timidity would get her nowhere.
"We don't currently possess the warships or the manpower," the Den Den Mushi replied in a monotone. "We're deeply sorry."
That was a lie.
She mentally recounted all the warships sunk in Vira… even adding five… ten more, it still wouldn't be half the number G-13 possessed. This didn't add up. The World Government didn't take orders from kings, much less kings of tiny islands who weren't even in the Reverie.
Sophie grabbed the receiver. "'Sup, can you put Charaka Hippo on the line?"
"I can transfer you to his assista—"
"This is Strangways Sophie," she said brusquely. "Service number 396-26-483. I'm with the princess right now, we're both under siege from rebels, and we're probably going to die very shortly. Check my voice for identification, do all the things, whatever, just get me those warships!"
The Den Den Mushi's eyes bugged. "YOU!? What the hell are you doing there!? We thought you were dead!"
Erk, they were going to interrogate her relentlessly when she got back. "I'll explain everything later. Look, I'm playing my ace now. I outrank you, I outrank practically everyone you work for, now get me help or it's your incompetent apricot on the grill!"
There was silence at the other end. Finally: "We can't help."
"If you let this Khanwari idiot continue to make a mess of things, there won't be an island left. For Sengoku's sake, put Sensei or the Vice Admiral on the line!" When the silence came again, she lowered her voice. "Seriously, if you're screwing around with me? I will literally shove my foot so far up your butt crack it will take fifty Hippo-senseis to get it back out."
"Good to hear your voice again, Sophie."
She went rigid. Coldness pooled in her gut.
"L-long t-time no s-speak…" She swallowed and her trembling hands clutched the cord. "Vice A-Admiral." Eyebrows drawn together in concern, Lisbeth touched her arm. Sophie flinched back and avoided looking at her. It was hard enough focusing on the blurry carpet. "Did—did your stupid secretary fill you in?"
"Out of respect for all the work you've put into G-13, I'll tell you this. Starting from the invasion of Cat's Eye twenty years, to the situation now… it goes beyond you, beyond me. All the way to the top."
The room seemed to shrink, closing in all around her.
Her common sense, which suddenly reappeared after its brief departure over the last three days, pointed to the only logical answer. "How—how can that—this whole thing… is a c-complete farce?"
"I can't sail to Cat's Eye unless given express permission from the king. If you really are on that island, you're as good as dead."
"You're… abandoning me? After everything I've been through?" she whispered, turning away from the others because she couldn't hide the panic and shock flashing over her face.
The Vice Admiral's voice was emotionless. "Any last words for your father? I'll relay them to Hippo."
"You can't do this to me." Her eyes, god, her eyes were burning. "I—" I don't want to fight anymore. "I'm tr-trying to help these p-people, isn't that what we're supposed to do?" I want to go home. "I deserve—I gave you—I g-gave m-my whole l-life to G-13." She cleared her throat, blinking rapidly. Silence on the other end. "…H-hello?"
He'd hung up.
Anko and Lisbeth watched her. Turned away from them, Sophie squeezed her eyes shut. The only way to save herself was leaving with the pirates, even if that meant deserting Cat's Eye and Lisbeth. If she was a World Government scientist, who did she owe loyalty to? G-13 or the princess? She could live aided by criminals or die fighting a World Noble. Which one to choose, which was the right answer—True or False? A or B? Loyal or traitor?
Muscles aching, she got to her feet.
"Khanwari's a World Noble," she told Lisbeth.
Lightning flashed, illuminating the alarm in her eyes. Purple, Sophie registered dimly, her eyes are purple. "Pa…pardon?"
"Why else c-could G-13 not send warships? Because he ordered th-them not to. The only non-Marines with more authority than a Vice Admiral are World Nobles. That explains the treasure, doesn't it? The mountains of gold he carried from Mariejois—he's rich, Princess-san, he's so figging rich he can fund armies and build giant walls around islands!" Her fingers shook with spasms. "And that's w-why the World Government never i-intervened… that's why they never helped Darnay."
"That does not mean anything!" Lisbeth cried.
"Who was he before he usurped the throne? Do you know anything about his past?" Sophie demanded.
She sat on the bed, staring blankly. "Not… not enough, no."
"Shit," Anko breathed. "Holy shit, we have to leave, like, now—"
"Not until I talk to the king!" she snapped, and the anger felt good. It filled up the gut-wrenching emptiness with flames, with something. "I can save everyone and end this war! I can do it!"
"Are you for real!?" Anko flung back, storming up to her. "So you're just gonna drop my crew in serious danger? 'Case that shit's getting pretty damn old!"
"Getting shot like a dog was entirely your fault!"
He held up his fist. "You're making me really regret—"
"Regret!? Regret what?"
"Do not fight!" Lisbeth forced herself between them, and said to Anko in a tightly-restrained tone, "Sophie saved your crewmate's life. Probably all of ours, actually."
"I'm trying to help the princess!" Sophie shouted over Lisbeth's head.
"That's fan-fucking-tastic!" he snarled, practically shoving his face into hers. "You think you're strong enough to fight against these guys by yourselves!? Sophie-chan, get that stick out of your ass and come back to reality!"
An inhale of breath. "Sh-shut up."
"You're going to die and take this whole island with you!"
"Shut—"
"I'm pretty stupid, but even I know you have no fucking idea what you're doing!"
She whipped around and screamed, "I DON'T CARE! I have to this! I have to! I'll stop the stupid king even if I have to use my own guts to strangle him!" Her hair crackled around her face, as if electric. "I don't care if this is suicidal. I don't care."
"It… it seems we are all in agreement, then?" Lisbeth piped up, twisting her braid fretfully.
Anko curled his lip up, but nodded.
Glaring at the pirates, Sophie hefted an empty candleholder. "One more item to take care of."
She reared her arms back, waved it around like a baseball bat, and slammed it into the Den Den Mushi.
Lisbeth shrieked.
Shell pieces and squishy snail bits flew all over them as Sophie ruthlessly bludgeoned the Den Den Mushi to death. Flecks splattered over her blood-stained cheeks. Six hits even and she tossed the slimy candleholder to the side. She began pacing, ignoring the puddle of mush and tangled wires on the floor.
"Fuck!" Anko scrubbed his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you!?"
"I don't know how many more of them the king has; he could still be able to call the World Government," Sophie said, her voice hard practicality. "The Vice Admirals will blow this whole island apart. We have to get to him before he calls them."
"Why didn't you just remove the receiver!?" Lisbeth wailed, practically sobbing.
"I made you a promise," Sophie told Lisbeth, "but I never said anything about World Nobles. G-13 will give you asylum. They can take care of you."
She swallowed. For a second, the ever-present hesitance flickered away. "I would rather die on my country's soil." She drew an arrow from her quiver. "And I can take care of myself."
Anko hefted Hai Xing over his shoulder. "My captain is my first priority. I'll leave you both behind if I have to. Just so you know. Let's move."
"The treasure is hidden on the highest floor, beside Cat's Eye Tower," Lisbeth informed. "It is a shortcut to the throne room. A small detour, but still on the way. I will lead you there, but I cannot guarantee we will not encounter guards along the way."
Sophie blew hair out of her face. "Well… how badly can we fail?"
—
"You had to inquire," Lisbeth sighed.
Sophie considered the calamitous situation in front of them. "Applying logic, did we even have a statistically significant percentage of winging this successfully?"
"Sophie-chan!" Shachi waved vigorously, perched on top of a pile of unconscious soldiers. "Who's the pretty lady beside you?"
"Someone shoot me now," Sophie groaned.
"Or use a candleholder," Hai Xing coughed.
She glared. "Unnecessary. Totally unnecessary."
The three pirates had taken out quite a few of the soldiers in the vast, barren hall carved out of marble. Penguin stood on the steps leading up to the throne, and Law—all of Sophie's ingrained World Government instincts jeering—reclined on the throne as if he owned the freaking thing. He really deserved a swift gouge to the eyeballs.
And then there was the matter of Khanwari himself, who was looking at Law like he very much agreed with Sophie's sentiments. He was a lot… shorter than how she imagined him. He was the same height as Lisbeth, who was only a few inches taller than Sophie, and his glittery crown and stylish plum cape was sort of throwing off the whole Big Bad vibe.
Her group was backed by soldiers with their muskets raised, having been caught right as they stepped outside Khanwari's bedroom (which X'd out plans A through H, fantastacious). Lisbeth seemed to have already fainted standing upright. Anko yawned, half-carrying a limp Hai Xing under his arm.
"How are you not panicking?" Sophie hissed.
Anko picked his nose and asked Hai Xing, "Should we be panicking?"
"Don't talk to me, I'm dead."
"Stop saying that!" Sophie cried, pulling out tufts of her hair.
Anko shrugged. "We found Captain and it's fine if we kill all the soldiers here and go back for the gold."
"No," Lisbeth hissed, "that is most certainly not acceptable! …Is he the captain?" she whispered to Sophie, staring doe-eyed at Law, who gave a lazy, two-fingered salute.
"Unfortunately." Sophie tugged her closer and glared, emitting hostile brainwaves that said clearly don't try anything weird to this girl, I will bite you.
"I see now why you are traveling with him."
She turned an unnatural shade of chartreuse. "I could go on a two hour and forty-four minute rant bulletpointing the hows, whens, and whys of the repulsiveness, but—"
"I will not be threatened by someone as lowly as a mere pirate!" Khanwari blustered.
"This lowly pirate found a way into your island and onto your throne." Law grinned, clearly having the time of his life. "What do you say to that? Cat may look at a king? Or would this make meking now?"
…There were other vile things to shudder about. Wringing her hands, Sophie tried, "W-we're just looking for the b-bathroom." The only other two segues that came to mind were Does Khanwari know his beard is lopsided and Can anyone else see that Khanwari's beard is lopsided!?
Penguin tilted his head. "Has that ever worked for you?"
"This nonsense ends now!" Khanwari thundered, and stepped threateningly toward Sophie, and then at Law. He paused, looking conflicted.
Sophie waved her arm around, snapping her fingers for attention. "Important public service announcement, listen up! Khanwari's a World Noble!" Shachi dropped the musket he was playing with. Penguin froze. "I repeat, the king of Cat's Eye is a World Noble!"
Law's grin vanished. He turned a cold gaze on Khanwari.
"I'm from the World Government." The halo of glorious justice shined behind Sophie. "And I'm firing your sorry butt. Effective immediately. Go clean out your castle."
"Odin, kill the intruders," Khanwari ordered with a dismissive flick of his head. "And get him off my throne."
Pineapple. Sophie actually thought that would've worked.
A sphere of blue barely coated Law's hand when the ground exploded, throwing slabs of stone into the air. Out of the dust hurtled a now dented throne, burying itself three feet deep into the wall.
"Well." Khanwari frowned. "That's one way of doing it."
Anko snatched Sophie and Lisbeth out of the way at the last second—the rubble hit the soldiers behind them—but as he was also carrying Hai Xing, they ended up sprawled across the floor. Sophie helped a groaning Lisbeth up. To the side, Anko shoved the nearly comatose pirate into Shachi's arms, "You take him, I'm fucking tired of looking after his gloomy ass."
Law appeared next to Sophie, snarling, "What exactly was that supposed to accomplish?"
She blinked. "Should I have added a 'please'?"
"What the hell is that?" Penguin said sharply.
Odin's shadow fell over them. There was something awfully disturbing about that blank iron mask.
"I don't know, but," Law rubbed the blood off his lip, "calling dibs now."
Behind him, Penguin raised his fists and Anko snorted and tightened his spiked knuckles. "You always take the good ones, Cap," Shachi called as he tried to balance Hai Xing against his arm.
"WAIT!"
Lisbeth stepped in front of Law, hands held up in a pacifying gesture. "They are not our enemy, Odin. Do not take up arms against them. I—I will not have you… or anyone here hurt."
Anko sidled by Sophie. "Are they… together?"
"You know, it's a bit unclear…"
She spun to Khanwari. "They are pirates, not rebels! Give them the treasure and they will leave in peace."
"You don't know anything about them. Come here—"
"For once in your life, listen to me! I do not care if you are a World Noble! Y-you—your kingdom doesn't w-want you." Her gaze flashed to Sophie, and she took a breath, and her shoulders straightened. "Step down from the throne. From this day forward, the monarchy will end."
Khanwari's brow furrowed in disbelief. "Do you really think you can stop me with pretty words?"
Her lower lip trembled. "With Odin's help." She nocked an arrow and raised her bow. "With my people's help, I—"
"My crew is on a tight schedule," Law broke in, motioning for the dramatics to get a move on. "I propose we get to the fighting and blood-spilling."
"And I propose you stay quiet, sir," Lisbeth snapped.
"You have a badass princess," Sophie said to the nearest soldier holding a musket to her face.
"Thanks…?"
A slash of wind and the soldier was missing his head. Like a domino stack falling across the throne room, dismembered body pieces plopped to the floor. "Oh my god, get down!" Sophie tackled a panic-stricken Lisbeth to the side. "It's raining men! It's raining men!"
Law kicked a head right to Khanwari's feet. "About that staying quiet thing…" He directed an insincere smile at Lisbeth. "Not really my style."
"Finally!" With a wild grin, Anko slammed his spiked knuckles into the nearest intact soldier.
"Come on, I actually managed to keep my suit clean for once!" Penguin complained as he kicked two flailing, headless soldiers into the wall.
The floor rumbled as an explosion—a very, very close explosion, she could smell the gunpowder—hit the side of the castle. Sophie braced herself and Lisbeth against a pillar. The ceiling cracked and rained dust. Her gaze found Odin as he leaned back—the posture, she'd seen it so many times before—and kicked in one wide, fast, zigzagging arc.
Rankyaku!
"DUCK!" Sophie yelled.
Bursting off the ground, Law deflected the slice—just barely. The wall behind him split in half. Soru—that was how Odin appeared so suddenly back in the streets! The force of the kick threw Shachi and Hai Xing into the air, and they slammed into a pillar behind her. They slid down, motionless.
The high, stained-glass windows shattered, showering glass over Khanwari. He pulled out a solid silver gun and fired a shot into the air. "It's over!" he bellowed over the thunderstorm. "Take her to the Cat's Eye!"
Soldiers melted through the haze, and Sophie shoved Lisbeth behind her. "Don't you t-touch her! She's your princess!"
Lisbeth strung an arrow, whispering 'Sorry, sorry, sorry', and the guard closest to Sophie fell to the ground, clutching his arm. A knee came out of nowhere and slammed into Sophie's gut. Crying out, she fell to the floor and the remaining soldiers pinned Lisbeth's arms to her sides.
"No—get off, I will not—Sophie! Sophie, help me!"
She panted harshly, her face screwed up in pain. Rage pounded in her temple. Sophie yanked the arrow out of the soldier and, ignoring the fresh screams, staggered to her feet. Was she the only one who still understood the meaning of loyalty? Her fingers tightened around the shaft. She never asked to be a part of this screwed-up conspiracy—
Above her, Odin and Law were having their insane, superhuman battle of which she was staying clear of. Running after Lisbeth, she cupped her mouth and yelled, "Law-san! He's an experiment! The World Government experimented on him! Giantification, probably! And he's a Rokushiki user!"
Law barely avoided another kick that blasted through two pillars. A new glint in his eye, he scrutinized Odin. "That's quite interesting."
That should keep them occupied for at least the next ten minutes. The pirates were irrelevant now.
"Sophie, how did you know—HRMPHH!" Covering her mouth, the soldiers dragged Lisbeth through a side corridor.
Her teeth gnashed together. She only noticed Anko hurtling through the air when a vein of lightning cracked from the broken window behind him. Khanwari was right in his line of fire.
"Wait! Don't hurt him!"
His fist slammed down on a loose crevice in the wall—he barely caught himself. "Why the hell not!?"
"Because he's a World freakin' Noble, you stupid pistachio!"
Right in front of her, another soldier raised his musket at Anko. Nope, that wasn't good either.
She grabbed the arrow with two hands and thrust it into his throat.
Sophie squeezed her eyes shut as blood sprayed along her face. She didn't falter. It was their duty to die serving. Arms slick and dripping, she wrenched away the musket, braced herself against the kick, and fired off two shots into the corridor.
One went down with a shout. A copper braid, shining like a red thread, vanished through another door; this place was a labyrinth, all masks and winding staircases and dark bedrooms. The others raised their guns—twenty feet straight down the hallway—and she threw her flash bomb into the air.
A thousand white stars burst behind her eyelids. The second she heard the screams—go, go, go—
The earlier explosion had torn the hinges off the door and caved in the entire ceiling. Sodden wreckage separated Sophie and the other half of the chamber, where Lisbeth must've disappeared into. Rain pelted over her skin, over everything; broken, gold-embellished furniture, fancy curtains lying in a puddle on the floor.
Khanwari stood before her, hunched over like an overgrown bat. His beard matted to his tunic, cape torn to shreds, the lightning emphasizing his sunken cheekbones and heavy brow—he seemed to have aged over ten years in the span of ten minutes.
He raised his gun at her and fired.
The gun clicked. Sophie didn't blink.
"Wet ammunition," he sighed. "Put them down, we'll get nowhere like this."
The three soldiers surrounding him complied. The one with the scar on his nose did so more slowly.
Sophie took a step closer. Her hair clung to her cheeks and the nape of her neck. "Did you order Donquixote D-D-Doflamingo to b-burn Crawfish Island?"
"I did." Zero hesitation.
"W…why?"
His dull, beetle-black eyes held no light. Sophie had seen enough corpses to recognize this king looked… dead. "I was bored."
She took another step. The smell of wet earth wafted beyond the collapsed stones. Outside lurked the spread of grass and grave mounds. All those buried prisoners.
"Why d-did you invade Cat's Eye?"
"I was bored," he murmured again.
It must be a lie, Sophie thought numbly. She must have gotten something wrong. How could the World Government obey someone like him? How?
"What are you to my daughter?" he murmured, contemplating her. "She seems to value you, and vice versa."
Anger seared in the pit of her belly. "We made a promise to take this country from you and give it back to the people." Sophie tightened her hold on the musket. "Unlike either of us, Lisbeth is a genuinely good person. I won't let you hurt her."
Something flickered back to life in Khanwari's expression. "And I will not let you hurt her. I've worked twenty-two years for this."
"You are working some creepy obsessive father vibes—pineapples!"
A soldier swung his musket at her; she parried with her own, but the surprise got the better of her and, grip slipping, her musket flew into the air. Outnumbered three to one. The wreckage was a little over ten feet tall; climbing was possible. Escape was the number one issue. She couldn't afford to be cornered.
Sophie turned and ran into the wreckage.
"She's going after Lisbeth! Throw her in the garden! I won't let my daughter see the body!"
Sophie wiggled through a small gap between the wall and an overturned sofa, and found herself in a small, enclosed space. She spun around—step on that étagère with the vase, climb up those rocks, use that plumbing pipe to pull herself up and over—
Marine-honed intuition twirled her around, vase in hand. The soldier yanked on her arm, dragging her closer, and Sophie smashed the vase against the side of his head.
The soldier shook away his daze. "Alright, you wanna play the hard wa—"
She plunged a jagged ceramic piece into the bottom of his jaw and slashed sideways.
Inhaling in a frenzy, Sophie kicked him away. Something clattered behind her. Another soldier came through the gap and stared at the blood pooling at her feet. "What the shit—"
She ran at him, another shard biting into her bandaged fingers. She grabbed his throat and shoved the shard through his eye.
His scream was so loud the storm couldn't muffle it. Mangoes, he just alerted everyone to her position! But that became the least of her worries as he knocked her back and slammed her into the encoignure. Rain fell between her lips. Her heartbeat clanged like heavy metal bells in her ears. Oh—this again. Even as she was getting the living cassabananas beat out of her, Sophie was aware of how familiar the taste of ozone on her tongue was.
Last time, she'd been decked out in a full Marine uniform, an extra fifteen pounds weighing her down thanks to the medical pack, her boots ripped three ways from Wednesday, and running for her life through mud and hell and rain.
God, she hated thunderstorms.
As the soldier reared back to punch her again, Sophie jerked forward and attached her teeth on his neck. She jammed her thumbs into his eyes, pushed him back, and kneed him in the crotch over and over and over. Don't let him take you to the ground, Hippo lectured as she grappled with the other marine, her feet skidding on the mat. Keep your center of gravity low. As his attacks weakened, she slammed an elbow into his gut and cracked a guéridon over his head for extra measure.
Spitting out blood, she clambered over the étagère and onto the rubble. Wet stones crumbled under her squelching boots, but Sophie caught her balance out of instinct.
She pulled herself over and grabbed onto the pipe. The soldier with the scarred nose blinked at her.
Ah, papayas.
She punched him in the face.
He landed on a flat plane of rock—lucky, lucky, lucky—as she scrambled to yank the pipe from under the debris. A hand wrapped around her ankle, tugging her back down, pipe and all. Sophie seized the overhang of table and kicked furiously, catching him in the mouth. He didn't check where he put his back foot and slipped, oh, bad mistake. Sending a prayer of thanks to Hippo and her marine instructors, she twisted, balanced on her aching toes, and jumped over to his rock with a solid metal greeting.
He flopped on the floor, stirring faintly. Sophie slid down on the back of a commode and landed with a splash.
"S-silly error," she kicked him over on his back, "but then a-again, you never fight in rainy, r-rat-infested trenches."
Sophie stomped on his face. Petals of red flowered in the rainwater.
She turned around—and the king was there. He evaluated her beaten state with the same expressionless gaze.
"You know, I'm really craving pancakes," Sophie panted, wiping away her bloody nose. "With like a mountain of whipped cream and extra butter. But—th-there's this part of me that wont—can't—rest until I understand what's wrong with you."
"Deranged evil man isn't good enough? If it helps, I enjoy stealing pacifiers from babies and switching the salt and sugar shakers."
Sophie sighed. "Oh, whatever."
With a battle cry, she swung her plumbing pipe and charged at Khanwari. He easily smacked the pipe away and grabbed her by the straps of her satchel—ow, ow, there may have been some underestimation on Sophie's part—and hurled her to the floor. Raindrops splattered between her fingers and glass cut into her elbows. He stepped on the back of her neck, mashing her face to the soggy carpet.
"The Government is pathetic. It's so enthralled by itself it won't even acknowledge any of its faults. Tradition over truth. Faith over change. Words to live by," he added with vicious sarcasm. "If any Marine battleship demanded entry into Cat's Eye, I would have conceded. I don't have the force to stand against them. But now the rebels—"
"This isn't about them! This is about a World Noble taking a massive dump on the World Government!"
"You think I'm bad? Think of the scum who let a genocide continue for twenty years right under their noses. Places like G-13 and the Marine base at Crawfish Island—not one of them put up as much of a fight as you're doing right now. In fact, no one's ever come as far as you, not even that Darnay fellow. Good-hearted man, but a complete dolt. Congratulations are in order."
Her stomach twisted in outrage. It wasn't their fault; not even lunatics would go up against a World Noble. They were sacrosanct, inherently better, the lineage of the great twenty kingdoms. That was just how the world worked; he couldn't trash-talk the system while reaping all its benefits!
…Or maybe he could. Because he was a World Noble.
"You have that expression like you're thinking up any scrap of excuse for them. Almost comical." He clenched the satchel straps and lifted her up by the throat. "Laugh. I order you."
She clawed at the straps. "Ha… ha…"
His laughter seared the air. Rasping, disbelieving mirth.
Anger and humilation burned behind her eyes. This isn't going to shame me, she assured herself with a terrible wrench of her heart, this doesn't even come close to cleaning a room of dead bodies.
"Can you even think for yourself anymore? They've tacked a list of beliefs and ideals onto an assembly line of worshippers. How ingenious is that? Your fanatical loyalty has made you less of a person, less of a self. Who are you? Who are you and what do you fight for?"
Sophie stared at him.
"You talk big, but don't stick to your guns. Twenty years I've steered this country into its rightful course, my hairs turning white due to stress, my great soldiers all turning fat and old, without a single word from the rest of the world. I put myself in this hell so I could accomplish my goal!"
What the hell do I care?
She flicked the lighter open, fingernails digging into the scratch marks.
The flame whistled by his ear and set the side of his head alight in an alien orange glow. He stumbled back as the crown flew off his head. She slipped under the straps and threw her arms around his knees, sending them both crashing back to the floor.
Moving quicker, Sophie yanked him up by the scruff of his tunic. "I'm risking my life to help this island out loyalty, how does that make me a bad person!?"
"The whole world is meant to revere my existence," he spat, "just because someone said I was born holy. Isn't that the illogical thing? What excuse do you have, you entitled little shit? You don't know how much harm you're doing, you aren't burdened with the duty to help these people—you are an interloper! And you know nothing about this island!"
What little color was left in her face drained away. "I d-don't seem to recall the World Government ALLOWING YOU TO BE A B-BUTTHOLE, YOU—"
"I AM THE WORLD GOVERNMENT!" Khanwari roared.
Her fist froze in the air. Her fingers dug into her palm. G-13 chemist, combat medic of the 21st Regiment, protégé of a Vice Admiral. She was still desperately clinging to the thin strand of hope over the gaping abyss—this institution she built weapons of mass destruction for, this obscure concept of justice… had some semblance of rationality.
"They trained you too well. My soldiers are the same. When they look at me," Hippo's mouth moved, "they see who they really live for," her platoon murmured.
A small sob pulsed in her ribcage, sounding a bit like laughter.
The scarred soldier limped up from behind and punched her in the head.
—
Sophie was tired.
As Hippo carried her on his back, a deep and profound sense of security settled over her. This, this was the one place in the world she could never be harmed. This was her special place. She pressed her face into his back, hiding herself from the world. She liked the little bumps of movement as he walked, like the smell of antiseptic and whiskey.
She wouldn't mind sleeping her whole life away like this.
The ground rumbled.
His arms loosened, ripped away, vanished—
The wind dragged him from her desperate reach and she fell into the ocean, hands outstretched with no one there to catch—
She gasped and her eyes flew open. The smell hit her in a wave. Rotting bones. Dead skin. Decaying organs. It came from beneath, filling her nose and mouth. Complete darkness. Complete silence. She pounded firmly on the wood surrounding her and felt it creak. With a little hiss, something grainy fell onto her shirt; she maneuvered her arms and touched it gingerly… it felt like sand, or… dirt…
With a corpse sleeping beside her, Sophie slammed her palms on the coffin and screamed.
—
The tunnel seemed endless.
Lisbeth glanced back at the stumbling soldier, one hand covering his nose. Blood seeped down his neck. "Um—we should really be taking him to a hospital. He cannot even stand in his condition, much less fight." He ignored her. Her hand moved to the quiver. "What happened to Sophie? If you hurt her, if you so much as touched her—"
"He'll fight if I order him to," Khanwari said shortly. "A small group of my most loyal guards are waiting."
"Stop this madness." The stony edge in her voice finally made him turn. "Have I ever been anything more than pawn to you?"
"Pawns can be promoted to queens." The torch he carried crackled, red sparks drifting in the air. "Everything I've done has been to prepare you for this moment."
Her eyes widened in bewilderment. Purple. Just like her mother's.
"I am in pain," the soldier croaked. "Very, very much in pain."
"I will tell you everything after." He walked forward and cupped her face. "It can only be you. Or else the past twenty years will have been for nothing!"
The loudest explosion by far boomed through Anatole. Cobwebs fluttered down from the quaking tunnel walls as it echoed through the very foundation of the island, throwing shadows across his expression full of terrified wonder…
"They're here."
…followed by the distant roar of a thousand stones crumbling.
—
Out of the smoke, a massive civilian army appeared. Sand-plastered boots came stomping through the gaping hole in the wall. Metal cannons screeched. On burned-black swamp tree branches, they raised flags emblazoned with a blue crawfish.
Bepo leaped down to the meet the leader. Long red nails danced over a bazooka hanging by her hip. "That was one damn fine explosive," she said appreciatively.
The baby Den Den Mushi he carried beamed. "You can thank the little lady when you see her."
"That's the target point." Sid pointed to the castle as he slid down the gravel beside them. "Mortar shells will be expected. Rebels are short on armor and weapons."
"Thank goodness we have both," Nellie replied with a grim smile. "Polar bear, you wanna do the honors?"
"Let's kick some ass," Bepo said solemnly.
to be continued
trivia
cat may look at a king: a saying about how someone of low status still has rights.
lisbeth: lis is french for lily (also named for the fleur-de-lis).
subject J141789: July 14th, 1789…
"water 7 and machinastein were the only ones that came to mind…": first mention of machinastein!
396-26-483: sophie's service number, which spells out dynamite
it's raining men: ooohh! it's raining men! hallelujah! it's raining men! amen!