Thank you's to these sparkly unicorns: Shiningheart of Thunderclan, Mai Kusakabe, bleck, xXLovelyAnimeLoverXx, a fan, TurtlesAreFast, Abderian Halcyon, sweetlilsunshine, omg, 10th Squad 3rd Seat, Sophia Likes Sweets, Aloe Wera, CameronEmma, Guest, Sheep, Perpetual Concern, CopraMeow and Bookwormin. Also much appreciation goes to Riku-D, Klexenia, cutewaves, thethoughts312. You guys rock! I'm sorry… my reply game is weak… pls accept this chapter as an apology.

—

methyl nitrate pineapples
hypothesis #10

pirates in the sky with diamonds

—

It was a beautiful day to leave her life behind.

Through one of the many shattered windows in the castle, Sophie watched the Crawfish ship float gently on the waves. The sky was robin's egg blue, real pretty, the kind you'd want on the day of your funeral. I've become awfully dramatic lately. Sophie indulged herself another sigh of self-pity. Not that she was dying or anything, just… taking a permanent vacation. Ugh, that sounded bleak.

But trying to shake off the vortex of doom and misery eating at her insides left her more anxious. She continued hiking through the rubble, her thoughts drifting to G-13. They weren't going to roll over and let her escape. Vice Admiral Lettidore was like a bloodhound; he loved the hunt. He also had close ties to CP5. They'd be searching for her if they weren't already. She'd have to find some way to prepare for the inevitable.

Sid told her she'd find Nellie at the top of the tower. Sophie didn't want to go back there, but the ship was leaving soon and it was best to say goodbye in private. Den Den Mushis were ringing off the hook and she lost track of all the waterworks and spontaneous jubilant dancing that was occurring around… well, everywhere. Law threatened a few Crawfishers to not mention his crew's name under the pain of alarmingly creative torture—come morning the whole city was tiptoeing around Sophie, who was shooed into the pirates' sphere of influence by association. That was kinda cool.

The tower was as small and mechanical as she remembered. Rain washed away the grime and the rusty, chipping gears shone in the sunlight.

Sophie tiptoed over. "How's your nose?"

She asked the same question every five minutes she was around Nellie. It got to the point where the older woman gave up making comforting noises and instead replied with aggravated sarcasm. "Dead. My nose died because of you. I had to fashion a new one out of the flesh of kittens."

"Funny," Sophie said in relief and joined her looking over Anatole. Well, Nellie looked out and Sophie looked down at the dirty berets of some grave diggers doing their job far too early in the morning. "What are you doing up here?"

"People kept tellin' me to bask in the presence of some pointless yellow flowers." Nellie waved at the sprawling sunflower fields.

Sophie remembered how gorgeous it seemed a few days ago… a week ago? Had it really been that long? But this time, an awful caged feeling crawling up her spine replaced novelty. Staying on one island for the rest of her life and seeing the same things over and over would be torturous. How did she ever manage to spend nineteen years in one Marine base? Sophie couldn't imagine living like that ever again. Clearly, she'd been on Cat's Eye far too long.

"And that ugly brown thing in the middle looks like a mouth," Nellie was saying, motioning at the sunflower fields.

"Points for being well-fertilized."

"…Sophie."

"Sorry. Hey, you're not wearing your ring anymore. And you're wearing shorts." Burn scars trailing down her bare legs. From what she remembered, Nellie always hid them.

"It's a warm day," Nellie responded blithely.

Sophie leaned against a pillar. A yellow speck drifted on the ocean. They must be busy preparing to leave, going off on their next big adventure. It wouldn't take long for her to become a blurry afterimage in their memories… whereas she would remember them for the rest of her life. She sulked in her arms. Unfair.

"The Evil Ruler's defeated, our scrappy hero triumphs, loose ends tied up. Happy resolution, curtains close, roll credits. Why do you look so down?"

"Perfect formulas don't exist in the natural world. If everything fell into the statistical norm, x bar equals satisfied ending, there wouldn't be bell-shaped curves and standard deviations. No potential outliers."

"Um."

"I may have found the thymine to my adenine."

"Uh-huh…"

"I wanted to join the Heart Pirates."

"Oh."

—

"I've never seen One Piece, but this has got to be pretty damn close," Shachi said in an awed voice.

Having broken into Khanwari's famous treasure room, the Heart Pirates were finally able to reap the rewards of their adventure. Law cut open the locks on the treasure chests. Bepo immediately dived in a huge pile of dusty gold coins.

"A mermaid statue! My life is complete!" Penguin pressed kisses over it.

"Hold on," Shachi said sternly, getting the pirates' attention. "The Crawfishers want to take this back to their island to rebuild their towns. We should let them have it."

Penguin dropped his statue. Law opened his mouth, then shut it.

Shachi burst out laughing. "Kidding. Rob 'em blind and leave nothing behind!"

—

Nellie's face was the closest thing Sophie had seen a human resemble a flabbergasted owl. "…As a joke?"

"I know everything you're going to say, because I've said it myself a thousand times," Sophie said quickly. "Realistically speaking, this is one of those passing phases. Like dyed red hair and anchor tattoos. Things people typically regret later. And he already said no! What am I thinking?"

She slumped over. There was a great big stretch of silence. "…This is when you give me an optimistic speech about chasing my dreams. Something like, 'are you happy when you're with them'? Yeah, and it's so easy to be myself. 'Do you care about following the rules of society'? Profound no. 'Are you a decent, respectable adult'? Well, I have obsessive tendencies, I get anxious when things aren't in a straight line, and I suspect I may have built up a system dependence to adrenaline! I'm a pirate in all but name already!"

"…You put a lot of thought in this, didn't you."

Nellie didn't even know. Sophie hadn't slept for two days because she was so stressed out. "But the thing is—I'm talking about wanting to help the maniac who tried to kill me! More than once! This is weird. It's weird, right? I made it clear we're professional acquaintances. Does this mean I think of Law-san as a… f-friend? Though h-he has saved my life a few times… and his attitude towards me has definitely changed… we're totally getting along now! I… I think…"

Sophie was normally all about being decisive, but this was so out of her territory it was making her feel sick. Strangways Sophie did not job hunt. She did not care about the opinions of Pirates, Honestly! Except… now she kind of did.

"It's a simple q-question. What am I so afraid of? I have nothing left to lose. If you look at my credentials, he has no reason not to a-accept me. I'm a certified genius, I work well with others—" Sophie came to an abrupt stop. "He'll laugh me right off his submarine." She covered her face. "I don't know. I don't know what I want. I'm supposed to be a genius, and I have nothing figured out."

Nellie had been silently puffing on her pipe the whole time. Sophie slumped her shoulders helplessly. "What do you think I should do?"

She blew out smoke from the side of her mouth. "No damn idea. I can't make your life decisions for you."

"Whyyyy noooot?"

"Here's a truth: the only one who has to feel comfortable about your choices is you. Everyone else can kiss your ass." Nellie thought that sentence over. "Unless you kick puppies or are a generally awful human being… what the hell am I sayin'?" She slapped her hand on the pedestal. "Don't be a pirate! Anyway, aren't you with the World Government?" A mechanical noise came from the stone. "Hm?"

She peeled back her hand. Blocky shapes were carved across a device she accidentally pushed down. The last Poneglyph reader in the world had recently abandoned her Miss All Sunday title and was now taking refuge aboard a certain pirate ship. As such, neither have them could have known the tablet read the ancient equivalent of DANGER DANGER DO NOT TOUCH.

Crows flew past the tower. The sunflower field rippled in the breezeless morning air. A quiet, rumbling sound came from the distance.

Nellie stood still. "…Do you hear that?"

Sophie had that familiar, queasy feeling in her gut. "This is probably an appropriate time to run."

"Why do you say that?"

The tower groaned. Quaking vibrations spread throughout Anatole. Sid and Romarin stuck their heads out the window, calling for people to get inside. Down in submarine Anko yelled for all hands on deck as the radar system flashed erratically. Sophie pointed at the stairs. "Because I think I'm a black hole of bad luck—get to ground level!"

The pipes on the floor whistled to life. Steam blew out of the cracks in the wall.

This would be the point where 'please fasten your seatbelt' would have flashed across the pedestal in archaic text.

The ground threw Sophie into the door. Ugh! Her cheek and the flat of her palms met the wood with a thud. The line of gravity shifted the other way. She was weightless for an instant, the latch slipping away from her fingertips. She jerked off her feet, flying backwards—objects that are in motion tend to stay in motion until an external force acts upon it, said the little voice wearing giant glasses and a graduation cap—and her spine slammed into a pillar. The breath blew out of her lungs.

Hanging onto the pedestal, Nellie screamed, "Sophie!"

Searing wind peeled her eyes open as she tilted halfway off the pillar. Anatole rushed up in a vertical ascension, red-roofed houses slanted sideways. The grave diggers below clutched the bushes for dear life. Waves crashed into each other at cataclysmic levels to fill up the gap in the ocean Cat's Eye had left behind. The yellow submarine vanished under the upsurge. Oh, no…

At the last second, her arms tangled around the pillar and she pressed her face to the stone. Now she understood what Khanwari was trying to do. With the power of a giant flying automaton, even with just the threat of it, Lisbeth could've gone on to conquer oceans. The calculated theoretic possibility of that—

—wasn't important at the present moment!

The island climbed higher and higher at breakneck speed. The tower soared through a cloud and Sophie was momentarily blinded by wisps of fog. "What is this, what is happening!?" she heard Nellie shriek.

"Don't get anxious! When you get anxious, I get anxious, and when I get anxious, I get gassy!"

"What?"

"I let it rip all over the place and you do not want that!"

"…Why would you tell me that!?" A stifled snort broke her yell.

Even in this situation, Sophie couldn't stop herself from smiling. "It'll be fine! You're laughing!" she shouted right as the pillar she was holding onto broke.

Nellie's blank-eyed surprise was the last thing she saw before she plummeted head over heels. The velocity whipped her hair over her eyes and tore the scream from her lips. Nothing was solid, everything was air—

Sophie jerked to a sudden stop. "Ow!"

Law leaned out the window, holding onto her wrist with a ferociously strong grip. She swung over a hundred feet from the ground, kicking frantically. "You dislocated my shoulder!"

"It's not dislocated!" He gave it a swift once-over as she dangled by the grace of five working fingers. "Just bruised!"

"Let me remind you that I am in very much pain!"

The island jerked again. The floor of the treasure room tilted like a jammed pendulum and Law kept Sophie from flying away with monumental strength. "Hang on!"

"No, I'm going to let go!" she howled back sarcastically.

Her eyes widened. Facing her, Law didn't see the scrambling pirates, their gold, and an enormous mermaid statue sliding towards the window.

She braced herself with a whimpered 'pineapple'. Law glanced over his shoulder just as his crewmates slammed into him. The side of the castle smashed open in a big, chaotic mess of flailing pirates and an explosion of gold that rained upon the grave diggers.

Sophie plunged downwards with fresh screams. Having bore the brunt of the impact, Law was unresponsive as he fell headfirst into the sky. Giant chunks of debris, mollusks, and sea sponges hurtled past them like meteorites. The ocean canvassed above her, the sky beneath. When you experience freefall for the first time, it's indescribable. No outside forces acting upon you except gravity, the wind roaring, the abstract feeling of wonder… ends when you realize you left your parachute at home. Cue the incoherent gibberish.

Or in Penguin's case, once he realized the bag of gold was leaving a trail behind them—

"MERMAAAID!"

His scream of horror woke Law. On one side Sophie tumbled through the air, and on the other Penguin pawed desperately at the statue.

Law grabbed her arm and Bepo's paw. An ocean of white spread as far as she could see, scattered with ice crystals. There was no sound but the wind. Law motioned to something in the distance—miles away, the giant, blinding sun framed a mountain peak.

The wind swallowed up Law's shout. A blue sphere encircled the five of them and flickered away. Come to think of it, she'd never seen him make a sphere bigger than a few yards…

Sophie began chanting to the gods of gravity and random variables. "If I get out of this alive I promise I'll never smoke again, no alcohol, no meat, squeaky clean and apple cider—"

Again the blue sphere disappeared.

"—well not all the time, maybe you'll give me weekends and holidays, and I'll stop with the killing people and the explosions, except the first one is sometimes necessary and the second is usually done in good cheer—"

Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo clutched each other for support. Sophie was trying to reach a mental state of peaceful nirvana.

Law seized the sun.

It just so happened that a flock of birds soared over the island. Aside from the bumbling confusion when five of them found themselves teleported several miles away, no animals were harmed in the process. But there was a small miscalculation… seeing as how the birds were already in flight…

They were still falling. And the rest of the flock was still flying.

The island ballooned in size and Sophie could make out patches of trees, which was made more disorientating by the birds that collided into their downward path. Flapping wings and talons burst in their faces. A feathered football-shaped mass crashed into Penguin's chest, tearing his grip away from Bepo. Penguin, Shachi, and the bag of gold shot off in the opposite direction, vanishing through a cloud. Law forced his eyes open, a bare-your-teeth sort of mania, and they were eighty feet from the ground, her ears popped about three times—

He pulled out a handful of gold coins from his pocket and threw them into the air.

A cedar tree replaced it and walloped her in the gut. Once again, Sophie saw her life flash before her eyes.

Using it as a buffer, they crashed over the brush and down the slope, which helped absorb the shock of their landing. Sophie clung to her branch like a terrified squirrel as the tree smashed against another and split in half, throwing the three riders off its gnarled back and she dived into the blue depths of the sea.

Bubbles escaped her mouth like cigarette smoke. Sophie swam up to the halo of light on the rippling surface.

She woke up lying on a grassy slope, covered in twigs and dirt. Her head pounded miserably. She was missing a boot. How long was she out?

"I need a smoke," Sophie groaned.

A wave of nausea hit her. She limped to the flattened shrubbery and unloaded her breakfast on the poor plants. What a fabulous start to her day. This whole morning had been something straight out of a Murphy's Law book.

She yanked her boot out from underneath fallen bamboo trees and made a face at the crumpled pleather. Autumn leaves peeked out from the mist and the air was cool. Whatever mountain they landed on, at least it wasn't a one-way ticket to the gaping maws of hell. Though she couldn't cross that off yet, realistically—realistically!—speaking.

She hobbled back over to the polar bear sitting in the midst of broken tree parts. Bepo was hunched over his unconscious captain. Still quite out of sorts, she didn't notice his distant gaze or trembling paws.

"I let go of Penguin's hand," Bepo whispered.

Sophie looked blankly at him.

His eyes watered and he burst into sobs. "They're deaaaad!"

—

"So," Shachi said, "that happened."

"Yep," Penguin replied.

"At least we still have our gold."

"Yep."

This particular mountain was home to a semi-mythological flora species documented in Brag Men as cushionii arborae, or Cushion Tree. These fantastically soft trees were the nests grinning macaques. About a dozen of them surrounded the two upside down pirates. Vines crisscrossed their legs and their arms dangled pitifully.

"The monkeys are going through our gold," Shachi observed.

"They sure are." A macaque, inspecting a pearl necklace, chattered cheerfully on Penguin's torso. Another one of its furry fellows modeled Shachi's casquette. "Lemme get this straight: the underground tunnels weren't actually tunnels, but walls built at pressure points. The island—which isn't an island—is completely hollow on the inside. And the architectural engineering predates modern technology by a few centuries."

"At least," Shachi added.

Penguin growled as a macaque stepped over his face. "And you didn't tell Captain because?"

"My proof is an ancient, flying war machine that looks like a Sea Cat!"

"…Fair point."

The leader of the macaques examined her reflection in a gold coin. Finding it pleasing, she chattered to the rest of her clan; they scrambled past Shachi and Penguin, hoisted up the treasure bag, and made a quick getaway into the treetops. Their jaws dropped.

"My hat!" Shachi wailed.

"We stole that first!" Penguin roared, swinging his legs madly.

—

"I'm sure they've managed somehow, you guys are super strong—"

"How could I let go of his hand!? I'm a monster!"

"We can't jump to conclusions. We can't get distressed, we have to just calmly evaluate our options—"

"I don't wanna search for their dead bodies!"

"They're not dead!" Sophie practically shrieked. "They must have a Den Den Mushi, I can just call her and it'll be fine, she's not dead!"

She stopped, breathing hard. Bepo gazed tearfully up at her.

"…Do you know the Manette lady's number?"

"No," she admitted.

"I feel like there's a flaw in your plan."

Sophie wanted to punch something. Sophie wanted to shrivel up like a dried mushroom. She slumped down beside Law. Nellie's fate was literally up in the air… and Sid's, and Romarin's, but she didn't really like the old lady, so that was that. But she couldn't get distracted. "First things first: we have to find a way off this mountain. Let's wait for Law-san to wake up and then search for your crewmates." She glanced at Law. "Hey… that's a lot of blood."

She reached over. Bepo put an arm over his captain, shielding him.

Definitely not a reaction she expected.

"Uhhhh…" Bepo and Sophie both said nervously.

She held up her hands. "I'm going to check his injuries. It'll be fast, I promise."

She waited as Bepo shifted back. Distraught, he watched closely as she held two fingers against his carotid artery. Little bristles of his beard brushed against her skin. One… two… looks younger without his hat… seven… eight… not that I care… liar, liar, pants on fire… His pulse was normal. She checked behind his ears, his head—gross, his hair was mangy, when did he last shower?—and opened his eyelids. No sign of a skull fracture. That X'd out a slew of problems Sophie couldn't handle on her own.

The wound was shallow, thankfully. "Law-san, can you hear me?" No good. She leaned in close and yelled in his ear, "Bepo's dead! Someone found One Piece! Everything's on fire!" Sophie waited. Law continued to breathe quietly. "…He's unresponsive. I'd say he has a concussion, but to fall unconscious because of it is serious."

Bepo worriedly hovered over her shoulder. "When Captain uses his Devil Fruit a lot, it tires him out."

"You think he passed out from exhaustion and not because of head trauma?"

He mumbled something like 'mmmdone it beforeauhh'.

"I'll monitor him until he wakes up. Will you be uncomfortable if I use my shirt as a bandage?" Despite looking a bit alarmed, Bepo shook his head. She took it off and knotted it around Law's forehead. Her sports bra was basically a tank top, so whatever. "This wound isn't any danger to him; I'm more worried about a possible concussion."

Her problem was how to survive the night. Their safest bet was to camp here and wait until Law regained consciousness. But who knows how long that would take? Sophie had no medicine supplies and scary animals could be prowling around. It was only her and Bepo, so it was basically just Bepo.

So… she could either stick with the bear… or go off on her own, and somehow impale herself on a porcupine. Yep, her options were clear.

"So what's the plan?"

"Find Shachi and Penguin, and get back to the submarine."

Sophie tightened the shoelaces of her damaged boots. "Okay. Let's do this—are you really going to keep the hat?" She cringed. "It's… so disgusting…"

"The hat stays!"

"Fine, but don't put it on Law-san! Bacteria… and stuff…" Bepo set the blood-stained hat over his head. Sophie made a face. Cuteness level diminishing.

She helped the polar bear carry Law on his back and trotted after him into the mist. The weather was too foggy for a proper signal fire, but his ears picked up on a waterfall. If he followed that downstream, he might bump into the others. Sophie ouch'd and ow'd as the low-hanging bamboo branches eased past him and ricocheted into her. She was right, Shachi and Penguin were too strong for that fall to kill. They were still alive. They had to be.

—

"WE'RE DYING WE'RE DYING WE'RE DEAD WE'RE DYING!" Shachi screamed as a carnivorous lotus flower the size an elephant chased after him and Penguin.

—

It wasn't that the mountain was so steep that was the problem.

The paths that vanished into thin air, the poor footing, and the humid, misty haze that felt as though they were walking through a cloud, combined with the steepness… well, it led to a strenuous afternoon. They didn't speak to conserve oxygen and after a while stopped by a small waterfall to rest. A family of cranes took flight as Sophie sat down at the edge of the stream.

Bepo went to check the surroundings for any signs of a crash-landing. She saw him climb up a cedar. He was spry for a three hundred pound polar bear. Sophie checked Law's vitals again, mulling over how his Devil Fruit power took such a heavy toll. When she still considered him an enemy Sophie would've gleefully cackled, but now she felt worry… and sweaty.

She washed her face in the stream, stuck her toes in the water, and cleaned her skinned knees. Law slept beside her, his face gross and bloody. "I don't have a towel or anything—I'm already lending you my shirt. It's not my fault you need to wash your hair more."

Unconscious Law seemed to judge her.

"…Fine, but you better not wake up," she muttered, and scooped up some cool water. She rubbed off the dried blood on his cheek. Her fingers grazed over his forehead and, after a lingering pause, swept back his hair.

Law was dangerous, in perfect control of himself, and you could see the threat in every cut and crease of his posture… all alluring in their own way, fine, she could admit that. But now he lay relaxed and unguarded in front of her. He breathed evenly, the traces of pain and stress in his brow wiped away. Even the shadows under his eyes, normally the size of shopping carts, was the opposite of ugly in the clear morning light...

Any second now, his eyes were going to fly open and he'd grab her wrist… the corner of his mouth turned up into a lazy smirk…

Little fish nipped her toes.

"Ouch!" Sophie pulled her feet out of the water, accidentally jamming her elbow on Law's stomach.

He didn't so much as stir.

"Uh… whoops… sorry about that…" She wrapped her arms around her knees and gazed at him. His face looked marginally better now. "Wanna add a chemist to your crew?"

Of course Law had no response.

Bepo came back disheartened and crewmate-less. They waited another half hour before picking up Law and continuing their trek downstream.

They passed a den of giant pandas during which Sophie was determined to live among them try to stop me, I will fight you! As Bepo found out, her method of fighting was a) flailing and b) playing dead. But Sophie couldn't stay mad at him for more than five minutes. As the hours passed, they ended up making aimless conversation about breakfast foods, the weather, and sports. Apparently the Heart Pirates didn't watch the Annual Marine Kayaking Championships. Bepo was astonished she never heard of the Dead End Race.

"Hey, isn't there a constellation called Apolleon somewhere?" Sophie asked.

"Over South Blue. That's the archaic name; now they call it Leo."

"Why do people do that? Names stars after myths?"

"Dunno. I'd name one after myself."

"Ha! Same here."

"My star would be bigger," Bepo said confidently.

"Mine would eat yours and become, like, a monster chimera star spewing star flames and blood and stuff."

When they arrived on a narrow cliff, the real trouble started.

Two tigers prowled from the bushes, blocking off their path in front and behind them. Sophie glued herself to Bepo's side with a tiny 'eep!'. The polar bear prepared to spring forward.

"W-wait! You can't fight! Not while carrying Law-san! We have to run!"

The tiger leaped at Bepo and somehow Sophie found the Surgeon of Death dropped straight in her arms. Oh, great. She knew where this was heading. "Please don't make me go down that cliff," she whispered.

"Run! Ai-ai-ai!"

Sobbing, she picked her way down the wobbling rocks. Law's head lolled dangerously back. "Argh! No! I do not have the proper arm length for this! Why do heads weigh so much!?"

"Catch!" Bepo threw down Law's nodachi.

"Stop giving things to me!" she screamed as it thunked on top of Law's stomach.

She half-slid, half-climbed her way further down into the fog, using the occasional wispy mulberry tree to brake. As long as she got to solid ground, she and Law would be—

A clouded leopard jumped down on the rock beside her. Sophie managed a weak smile. "Uh—is this your t-territory? I don't m-mean to trespass. I'll get out of your way immediaaately!"

The leopard sprung into the air. Keeping a tight hold on Law and screaming her head off, Sophie ducked under the leopard's claws and tumbled sideways—

"AI-AI-AI!"

Bulleting downwards, two unconscious tigers slammed into the leopard. Bepo lifted Sophie off her feet and bounded downhill until they landed in a jewel-hued forest. The blanket of red leaves over white bamboo looked like fire burning over snow.

She waited until he unloaded Law off her arms before sitting on her ankles and breathing hard. "Let's n-never do that again."

"I thought you could fight," Bepo remarked.

"Not bare-handed against vicious animals! Remember the lapahn? I fight far away, camouflaged, with a sniper rifle and an escape plan."

Of course, there had been those soldiers she took down that night of the storm. Except she didn't so much as 'fight' than 'attack blindly with a sharp weapon'. And they didn't so much as 'fight back' as 'get caught off guard by said sharp weapon'. Surprise and dirty tactics carried her well enough… but right now, she couldn't afford that. She wasn't as lionhearted as the others, but she couldn't take a backseat and expect them to do everything for her.

She ducked her head, contrite. "But you have to protect your captain, and find Shachi and Penguin. The least I could do is hold the line. Thanks for counting on me."

Bepo grinned. "Thanks for holding the line."

Pause.

"…If you nosebleed too much at this elevation, you could die…"

—

A rainbow aureole shone over the treetops and basked the object of Shachi's gaze in light—a Bed and Breakfast sign hammered in the ground in front of a cave. The two pirates shook off plant saliva and twigs, dragging their bag of gold behind them.

"Nearly being liquefied in acid really put me in the mood for some bacon crisps," Shachi said brightly.

Penguin fanned himself with his hat. "This place looks pretty sketch, man."

"H-hello there," a tiny, shriveled woman called meekly from the entrance. "I'm a harmless old hermit who owns the place. Won't you come inside for some food and rest?"

"See?" Shachi nudged the side of his skeptical friend. "Totally unsuspicious!"

A few minutes later, they were tied up on a roasting spit as the harmless old hermit lit a fire underneath them.

"I did not see this coming," Shachi said.

Penguin glared furiously at him.

"Don't blame me—"

"I blame you."

—

Dry leaves crunched under Law's arms. Warmth from a fire brushed over his face. The air smelled like fish, and a river coursed nearby. He was leaning against something soft. Law registered this without opening his eyes. He felt a weight settle over his left side, and two scarred fingers at his throat, monitoring his heartbeat. The other hand brushed his hair aside. He felt anchored.

"Do you think Penguin and Shachi can smell it? What if they're running over right now? They'll be hungry! I'll go catch more fish!"

The weight left him. Law floated on his back in the middle of the ocean.

"Let's… wait and see if they show up first. Law-san looks pretty comfortable… don't move…"

You call this comfort? was his last conscious, irritable thought. The voices faded away and currents washed him farther and farther into the expanse of blue.

When he came to again, the riverside was alive with frog songs and cricket chirps. Sparks from the campfire floated up into the dusky sky. Bepo acted as a sort of pillow for Law; his back moved up and down with every breath the polar bear took. Sophie sat beside him, crunching snake off a stick. The light from the fire flickered over the musculature of her bare shoulders. "…how did you two meet? I bet it was one of those he finds you sick in the snow and nurses you back to health sort of thing."

"That's either from a kid's book or a very disturbing romance," Law muttered, picking up his hat. Why was it so dirty? He set it on his head anyway.

Sophie started. "Law-san!"

"Captain!" Bepo bolted upright, practically throwing him into the air, and squished him in a tight hug. Law was smothered in fur. "I was so worried! Shachi and Penguin flew off somewhere and we're searching for them and I kept telling Sophie you'd be alright—"

"Of course I would." He returned the embrace with a one-armed hug. How long had he been out? The last thing he remembered was the sun glaring too bright and birds attacking his face…

"The patient owes me a shirt, by the way." She grinned that little self-satisfied grin of hers.

He pulled off the t-shirt and inspected his blood on the green Criminal star. No wonder his head throbbed so much. But the wound was closed and clean, and Sophie did a good job for the resources she had… which was not much at all. She blinked.

"…Why are you staring at me?"

Her external oblique abdominal muscles belong in a museum was his last distinctive thought. "There's a spider next to you," Law said blandly.

Ignoring her screams, he picked up a stick carrying half a paddlefish and bit into the skin. He was ravenous, exhausted, and his muscles ached. "Searching for Shachi and Penguin will go faster with my abilities. I need a few more hours of rest." Contacting the submarine was also a problem, but that could wait until they were reunited.

"What'll we do if we don't find them? What if we're walking in one giant, endless maze?" Bepo fretfully munched on his half of the fish, still hugging Law with his other paw.

He patted Bepo on the belly. "We'll find them." Law leaned on his navigator with a groan. "Sophie-ya, I'll take you to Idyll when we get off this mountain. If you can't find another way there," he added.

"…Oh." Her smile became fixed. "Thank you."

Her tone sounded hesitant. Before Law could assure it was pure cordiality and they'd been in a working relationship too long for her to doubt him, she finished off her dinner and chucked the stick into the fire. His guard instantly rose. He'd been on the end of her fury many times. Far be it for him to care; he found her red-faced, acerbic wit entertaining and a good mental sparring activity.

"What do I not have that you need?"

Law yawned through a mouthful of fish. "Hm?"

"You said piracy is for particular people…" She scratched the mosquito bites on her legs, busying herself to keep from tapping. "I'm curious, why wouldn't I make a good addition?"

Sophie congratulated herself on not puking. He took some time to craft a neutral response.

"…Some crews buy slaves. Others force captured sailors to join or die." A scathing edge curled into his voice. "I'm not on the same level as the garbage who can't form their own crews without buying or intimidating their way to loyalty. Commitment is a two-way street in my book. I don't have time to pressure the reluctant—"

"I'd be a decent pirate!" she blurted out. "I'm good at following orders. And I don't hesitate on a battlefield. And I know basic first aid, so I can… I don't know, look after Penguin-san or Shachi-san if they're hurt and you're far away… I'd fit in with them, I think. They seem to like me well enough. Most of G-13 are men, and I've spent my whole life stumbling into… I'm s-saying it d-doesn't b-bother me!"

Complete silence. Sophie heard the air go—pop!—sucked out like a vacuum.

Bepo gaped. "You're asking to be a Heart Pirate!"

"Pff, as if!" Sophie said immediately. Her face puckered. "…M-maybe. I d-don't know—I—yes, okay, fine!"

Law stared at her, thoughts flitting haphazardly behind his blank exterior. She studied the engrossing shape of her knees, trying not to hyperventilate. Oh my god throw me back into a coffin!

"Even after what I've done to you?"

"Law-san…" Sophie sighed. "Y-you're a sarcastic, gruesome… t-terrifyingly ambitious pirate. And y-yet you stick to your ideals, and you have g-genuine affection for your crew." She had to practically choke that last part out. "I'm n-not trying to idealize any of this, but what I should feel towards you and what I don't feel towards you are p-pretty much… the s-same… thing…"

It was unavoidable, she had to fling herself off the mountain immediately.

Bepo felt secondhand embarrassment. "Awww, Sophie…"

"It's still no."

Bepo ping-ponged between Sophie's frantic, crestfallen expression and his captain's impassive frown. Feeling very uncomfortable, he returned to his position of Law's Pillow.

"I-is it because I k-killed a World N-Noble?" she stammered. "If I'm d-discovered, everyone who has a c-connection to me would…"

The mocking laughter she expected (and feared) to see was, in fact, complete seriousness. "There are three issues I have and it goes in a circle. One: You're asking because I'm convenient. We've spent the last two weeks together, and you consider me an escape route."

"Wha—you think I'm running away? I'm not!" Sophie stood with a stomp of her foot. Why couldn't he get that she was trying to help him?

He stared up at her. "Are you going somewhere?"

"I'm standing because this is how one argues in a civilized world!"

His body protested like a pathetic noodle at the thought. Law gave up and just waved a tired hand at her. She could stand if that's how she got her kicks. "I think the World Government left a wound the size of a sun in you. You're trying to patch yourself up using the closest thing. Me."

She scrambled for defenses. "Well—yes, but—that's still—"

"You're scared of living an average life, because that's the most horrific thing that could happen to a scientist who's grown up secluded in a military setting." He calmly watched her pace around the campfire. "Second: your skill is exceptional. We both know this. You could walk one thousand different paths; it's unnecessary to resign yourself to piracy."

The anger on her face changed into unwillingness… and a glimmer of pleasure she quickly tried to hide in a scowl. "I'm not resigned—"

"My third point. I don't want someone who's going to half-ass things. If you were a seasoned pirate veteran, I'd accept your offer without question. But you're green, you've just left the World Government… I'm not sure if I can trust you to fight for me, as you're asking because I'm convenient." He spun a finger in the air. "Circle."

Her heart sank, followed by a surge of resentment. "Are you worried I'll sell you out?" Because that was her greatest fear, that they'd call her traitor for the rest of her life. "I'm not a b-backstabber! Except I am to G-13… but that's d-different! They're your enemy so you should be okay with it! I mean—you know how I am. You know how stupidly loyal I can be. I'm n-not saying you could do w-whatever you want and I'd be okay with it, but—" Sophie covered her face. "I underestimated how difficult this would be."

She was likely to get a bounty soon. How did criminals with smaller bounties survive? By handing over the bigger fish. It was the small-time rookie you had to worry about; the established powers were predictable, but the little ones had nothing to lose. Law himself was a perfect example. And yet when he recalled the stone-steady stare when she—I have faith in myself—he saw a strong ally for his crewmates.

"It would be in bad taste to let you join without telling you what you're in for. If I just wanted gold, I could've marched into Cat's Eye and taken it myself."

Sophie stopped pacing and looked at him weirdly. "So… why did you stick around?"

"Vira, Alabasta, Cat's Eye. You don't get to see the outcome of civil wars every day."

Her eyes widened. "Is that why you were Vira in the first place? You wanted to see how the war ended firsthand?"

Law nodded. Then picking me up was a throwaway addition… She was either terribly lucky, or terribly unlucky. Sophie shook her head. "I still d-don't understand."

He looked her dead in the eye. "I want political power. I want the ancient regimes to crumble. Times are changing and the Heart Pirates are going to be a big part of it. Sailors and merchants are the backbones of island societies, but how many young pirates took to the ocean after Gold Roger died? Uncountable. The world is shifting. An entire generation is adopting new ideas, values, and perspectives. Look at you."

What he was saying was crazy. Who was he? Seriously, who was Law and what sort of piss-poor childhood did he have?

"You know, you… sound a lot like Jacques Straw."

He was affronted. "I am different from that idiot in many ways."

She gave him an unreadable look, but conceded, "He did have better fashion sense."

He huffed at her. Well, the Law equivalent of huffing, which had a lot of eye-rolls and was actually quite sassy now that she thought about it...

She didn't manage to stifle a sigh. "Thanks for explaining your reasoning." She sat down beside him, legs tucked in, putting her weight on one muscular arm. "And thanks for… well, not laughing at me."

Law was genuinely surprised. "Why would I do that?"

She grimaced. "You kind of yelled at me when I had a meltdown." The word sounded ugly. Meltdown. "Let me say it another way. Your creators left out compassion when they programmed you."

The chuckle snapped over his tongue like a whip, vocally unapologetic. As Law was with everything. "I wouldn't laugh about this. You see worth in my crew. Your admiration is understandable."

He was teasing her! "You pineapple," she groaned, turning pink.

"You're embarrassed."

Sophie threw her hands up, her deltoids flexing. He found himself drawn to the lines of her serratus anterior. Scratch museum, this was collector's edition.

"Of course this is embarrassing!" she complained, jolting him back to earth. "I have no home, no money. I'm a serial killer… killer. And now I'm talking to Trafalgar Law of all people."

He barked out a laugh that was either sleazy or terribly attractive depending on who you asked. "This day will forever be known as the day Strangways Sophie asked if she could join the Heart Pirates."

Sophie knew she should be angry, but she ended up stifling her laughter. It was weird, huh? "Hey, I'm serious about that!"

"So am I," Law said, not missing a beat. "If you really want to join—prove me wrong."

Her smile faded. He made it sound so easy. From what she understood from him: she'd make a good pirate, sure, but not a good Heart Pirate. He had specific goals in mind that involved upsetting the status quo, overthrowing the world order, blah blah, etcetera. Maybe this was too much for her at the moment... and there was a boat to Idyll with her name on it...

Hold on. 'Prove me wrong'? He wasn't saying no, even if that was what he'd been reasoning for the past ten minutes. He gave her all the justifications why she wasn't qualified, then spun it around and said, if you want to do it, do it anyway? Sophie's eyes narrowed as she stared into the fire. It sounded like he didn't care if she joined, and had no problem if she did join. So basically... it was all on her. It was her choice to motivate herself, or walk away... and he was simply waiting.

Law lurched up and grabbed his nodachi. "Bepo!"

"Ai-ai-ai!" The polar bear leaped into a fighting stance while Sophie was still reeling in alarm, and Law pointed his sword at the shrubs.

The leaves rustled. She held her breath. A leopard? A bear?

"Shachi? Penguin?" Bepo called out hopefully.

A massive monster with steel teeth and laser eyes, Sophie thought frantically, oh god maybe the Vice Admiral—

A red-faced man stumbled out from the bushes. He did a double take at the sight of Law and stumbled back. "Shit! Shit, shit, what're you—don't hurt me! Oh my god, is that a polar bear!? Shit!"

Bepo blinked. A tiny giggle burst from Sophie's lips. Law slowly sheathed Kikoku. "Where did you come from?"

He pointed his beer bottle at him. "Don' tell me whadda do, asshole!"

A few seconds later, Law held up the man's head.

"Kunlun! Kun—the cliff!"

Sophie saw the tell-tale blue flash before they warped to the precipice of the waterfall cliff. She clutched Bepo with a shriek. Law was too string bean-y to use as a cushion if she fell!

A massive, glittering-gold city clung to the side of the mountain. Yellow lanterns flickered over stairs and bridges. From out the buildings grew mulberry trees, where macaques and jays made their nests. The sound, vibrant and orange-tinted, grills sizzling with a snap of grease, made Sophie wonder if she stepped into a dream somehow. The lush forest surroundings vanished in a blink of an eye, and Sophie found her feet hitting the soft grain of a wooden bridge. Law transported them in front of a teahouse, displacing a small crowd. He let the drunkard crash through the roof.

"Oh my god, a severed head—oh my god, it speaks!"

"Burn it! That's so creepy!"

A rickshaw driver screeched to a halt. "Watch where you're going!"

"My moon cakes!" A woman shook her fist at Law.

"Hey, I know you!" Someone in the crowd pointed at him. "That was one helluva stunt you pulled at Crawfish Island!"

"Thanks, we fell out of the sky," Bepo chirped.

He boomed in laughter. "You should talk to the sky islanders! There's a group of them in the cabaret two bridges down."

Sophie yanked on Law's shirt. "Did he say s-s-sky island? I've never seen a real—" Her jaw dropped as three fishmen walked past. One of them—a betta, judging by her sweeping red fins—met her awestruck gaze and snapped her fangs at Sophie, snorting when she jumped.

"Don't goggle," Law murmured.

She puffed up. "I do not—" Sophie bumped into a clownfish fishman with a little squeak. "Oh, I'm s-sorry, h-h-hi! I like your g-gills!"

"Did you see that fight? I bet on Burgess. Pulled the wings right off the sky islander—blood everywhere!" a gambler chatted to her friend as they passed by. "No wonder they call him the Champion!"

"Crocodile's gone off the deep end," a grizzly white-haired man hollered, bent over a newspaper. "The hell is this, 'Baroque Works'?"

"…Oh, pineapple," Sophie uttered, staring at the numerous liquor and weapon shops, the bar fights, the dancing silhouettes back-lit by neon red windows, the lively, rowdy everything. "I know where we are."

"Kunlun is the wealthiest pirate haven on the Grand Line." Law eyed the unscrupulous bar patrons with a growing smirk. "I heard it was a city hanging off a mountain, but I didn't know there was a forest above it."

"CAPTAIN!"

About five heads turned at the shout, though only Law was greeted with two of his crewmates rushing at him. Bepo scooped the three of them up in a huge hug.

Law raised an eyebrow at their charred uniforms. "What happened?"

"Thieving monkeys, flesh-eating flowers, and a crazy hermit lady," came Shachi's muffled voice from around Bepo's armpit. "We even broke into a musical number at one point. It was an eventful day."

Sophie drifted past them, her mouth hanging open. Animals clucked and barked, kids sat on the rooftops dripping popsicle on unsuspecting passersby, and mothers scrubbed their children in buckets out in the open. Kunlun was completely different from anywhere she'd ever been. It was dirtier than the eerie, crow-ridden streets of Anatole, louder than the marketplace of Gator Town, freer than the snow hills of Drum Island. Gaudy lights flickered on a casino, painted mermaids beckoning bystanders to enter. A crowd gathered around two roosters duking it out, bets wagered and beli changing hands. Kabobs of meat sizzled along vendor stalls.

"Throw the cheat overboard!"

Someone on a higher level chucked a man over the bridge. A screaming blur hurtled past Sophie and disappeared into the clouds. She blinked and continued walking. Vendors banged on pots and whistled to get her attention. "Hand-carved mahogany imported from Water Seven! Bargain price! Stolen—ahh, legally raised Den Den Mushi! The latest version on the market! Look at the design! So sleek! Amazing signal!"

Sophie walked by a bar. "Sailed here from West Blue over the Reverse Mountain," a guy was saying.

Another pirate jumped around in excitement. "I'm from Ilusia!"

"Whoa, same here! …Don't tell me you're from the Gouda District—you are? You gouda-eating asshole!"

They pulled out knives. "No one likes blue cheese, you sick bastard!"

"It's fine dining! Prepare to die!"

Golden necklaces and shiny bracelets caught Sophie's eye. She stepped closer, enthralled by the pretty glittering things.

"Ah, someone has good taste. So cheap, only a few hundred thousand beli, it'll make your neck look fabulous." The vendor held up a string of rubies and diamonds. "I'll cut you a discount. What do you think of ten percent? Come on, you're not gonna find this on another bridge! What do you say? Oh, it brings out your eyes! Er, brown? Blue? Blue, sure! What do you say?"

Sophie was frazzled. "I, um, sure, I don't know?"

"Not interested," Law said and lightly kneed the back of her thigh.

"Ow!" She glared at him as he shepherded her away from the scowling vendor. Law walked so closely behind her that he kept almost stepping on the backs of her broken boots, forcing her to walk faster. "How are even doing that—witchery!"

"Everything here is either stolen or paid with blood money. That thief wants to get rid of those jewels fast. If you don't watch out, you'll have a target on your back—oi!" He watched her prance to the edge of the bridge. "Are you even listening?"

Spots of color flickered way, way down into the night fog. Sophie leaned over the heavy rope railing, the noise and brightness sounding like the most beautiful music she'd ever heard. Kunlun was…

Law pulled her back and she stumbled into his arms.

"Kunlun is amazing!" She grabbed his forearms before he could say a word, flushed and speaking in a rush. "I counted six casinos and three bathhouses. Monkeys are everywhere and I've never seen a real fishperson before, not outside of a cage at least, and god, that smell!" Why was he looking at her like that? Did he not get it? Did he not understand? "I don't even know what it is but I want to stuff my face full of food and how is this even hanging off the side of the mountain—"

She reminded Law of the sense of wonder he used to get when arriving at new, unexplored islands. Though his appreciation for beautiful things was also combined with a desire to kill them. "Right, I get it—"

"I have to explore!" she yelped, and her sweaty palms left him. "Give me money! Uh… please?"

His antics back then surely hadn't been this excitable. He stuffed his hand into his pocket and bestowed upon Sophie a small handful of gold coins. "Your share of the—"

"Thanks!" Sophie threw a careless smile over her shoulder. "Bye!"

Before startled agitation could flicker over his face, Law schooled himself. "See you around."

He doubted this was where he'd see the last of the chemist. She'd probably land herself in the counterfeit beli business going on behind the noodle shop (Law recognized it in five seconds, idiots), or something equally as ridiculous. Hell, they both survived a five hundred foot drop from a flying automaton. And now she wanted to join his crew. Had it been worth the effort, helping her, saving her? Did she still have room to grow? Law glanced out into the open, empty darkness, where she had almost toppled over, flexed his fingers, and then he turned on his heel and disappeared into the crowd.

What did a shark and a Trafalgar Law have in common?

Both were patient.

—

Sophie was floating on air. She was going to visit the first well-lit bathhouse she came across, then find a decent inn with a warm bed. Oh! But before that, she was going to buy some nail clippers, a pack of smokes, a sick pair of combat boots that could kick someone's teeth in, and—

'See you around'?

The penny dropped. Sophie stopped in the middle of the bridge. Someone knocked into her shoulder and another shoved her into the side of a building. She would've snapped in anger, but she was too distracted peering over the heads of the crowd. The Heart Pirates were nowhere to be seen. Sophie rubbed her chilly arms as unfamiliar faces passed by her without a glance, without an offhand 'Yo, Strangways' or a kind 'Canary-chan'. Bathhouse, decent inn, she repeated futilely. Her feet wouldn't move. The sea of strangers moved past her, unconcerned, uncaring, like she was just part of the wall. How could it be that Kunlun, which seemed so splendid a minute ago, now felt so… alone?

—

Someone was tapping on his window. Law's first thought was that it was a bird, but birds didn't sneeze or hiss, "Law-san, it's freezing please open the window."

Curly black hair and blue eyes greeted him. This did not surprise him anymore—judging by the steaming plate of food in her hands, it appeared she was here in peace instead of to screech at him like a banshee again. He rolled out of bed, scattering the newspapers he was reading last night, and stuffed a clean shirt over his head. Careful not to wake Bepo as he slept on a blanket nest on the floor, Law unlocked the window and let a draft of cold air inside.

Sophie perched on the windowsill, decked out in warm clothes and two cups of coffee. "Did I wake you?"

"I was already awake. Slept a lot during the day."

"Oh, right." She rolled up her jacket sleeves and picked little crispy fried sardines off the plate. "Some vendors are already selling food, which is great for me since I always get hungry around this time, actually I'm always hungry, oh, and coffee."

Law had trouble following that sentence. How was she so energetic so god damn early?

She pushed a cup over. "Have some."

"I don't want—"

"I got it for you," Sophie said, and promptly looked annoyed with herself. "Never mind, I'll drink it."

He took the cup before she could say another word. Black, just how he liked it. "Why are you here? If you need help, it'll cost you a look inside your brain."

"I know you're serious about that, so unfortunately for you, I managed to stay out of trouble." She stuffed sardines in her mouth and licked the grease from her fingers. "Did you call your crew?"

She avoided the question. "No one was hurt. They'll get here tonight."

"Wow. Fast."

Law felt an inkling of pride. A submarine didn't heed the wind or the currents. He decided not to mention that the Crawfish ship had been wiped out and his crew helped themselves to whatever stray valuables they could find. That would probably kill the atmosphere. He took a sardine off her plate.

They watched sunrise lighten the sky.

"Kunlun is gorgeous," Sophie sighed. "I met this guy who showed me these weird Dial things, did you know they're sky island inventions? And there was this scary dude with funny looking eyebrows who told me I wouldn't die today, so that's good. And there are some cool bookstores I'm going to check out later. So many things to do."

"There are lots of jobs available," he mentioned. "Pirates protect this place from marines and trade is always good. You could do well here."

She was quiet for a minute, then gave him a reproachful look. "I could do well anywhere; I'm a genius."

Sophie knew she was an amateur when it came to piracy and had a lot of things to work on. And it was true she didn't fully understand the extent of his goals. But she liked what he was selling. Traveling. Adventures. Danger. His smartassery and calculated aspirations made her feel right at home.

"Did you knock on my window at five in the morning just to ask me about my crew?" Law grinned at her, a burnt-brown sardine flopping between his teeth. Ah yes, and there was that strange fluttery aching feeling in her ribcage.

He wants to make the world his enemy, she thought.

He'll die young, she thought.

He's a super creepy doctor who made me organize his collection of severed limbs, she thought.

None of that mattered anymore, because she was already smiling at him. "I want to join the Heart Pirates. This is like some super cheesy declaration of war or whatever."

"Don't need it," he said, because he knew the next thing she'd spit out would be—

"I'll make you eat those words!"

Here are some truths: A half-drowned ex-princess washed up on the raining shores of Alabasta. G-13 ships arrived at what used to be Cat's Eye Island and found a great big chunk of ocean. Two disguised CP5 agents were walking around Kunlun looking for a blonde girl with unusually large eyebrows. As Law closed the window and turned his back to Sophie, he wore the same dark smirk as when he jammed poison into the heel of her foot.

The circumstances were too abnormal for him to simply let her join. He had to be entirely sure of her commitment, and that inexperience wouldn't eclipse her usefulness. Sophie existed in extremes. The more you tugged the more she resisted, even if it meant choking. It was a petty, childish way of thinking, but Law didn't mind the challenge. He approached it with finesse.

Case in point: soft words said at the right time, a challenge, and a notion of camaraderie. The two of them, sitting around that campfire, was all sorts of personal. He didn't have to budge an inch on control; in fact, his leverage over her strengthened. Did it really matter in the long run if she joined or not? No. She had personal baggage and she was physically weak; by all means, Sophie was a pawn. But there was something about the brilliance of her mind, her lack of hesitation, that made Law decide now that she could make a terrific weapon for him. For his ambition.

Investment made. Now to see if it would pay off.

—

(Here is a truth.

A good pirate captain makes use of people who should know better.)

to be continued

trivia

the flight of apolleon: this doesn't have any impact in the story whatsoever, but nellie and lisbeth are distantly related to each other. (they have the same purple eyes.) with nellie starting apolleon after centuries of dormancy, it's not just coincidence. it's also because she has a personal pull to the island, too.
kunlun: named after and inspired by the mountain in chinese mythology. the city structure/architecture is inspired by kowloon in hong kong. people can travel by foot, animal, rickshaw, or gondola up and down the mountain.