Ch 28: Sakura's Patience

The cold night hadn't ended yet and a part of me wished it would stay like that forever. I grip the scarf that adorned my shoulders that protected me from the eyes of others. Something I never needed as a child. It seemed like my coat was scratched up in places courtesy of those pesky trees in that little forest. The cold air caresses my skin.

The neighborhood streets were as empty as the forest itself. All the grocery stores had closed early. It was only natural for ordinary folk to hide in their homes from people like me. The gas explosions, the mysterious hospilizations and string of murders of today were no different from what had transpired just ten years ago. I wasn't the only one who suffered 10 years ago. Just ten years ago, a serial killer roamed the streets. Just ten years ago, a terrorist had blown up a hotel. Just ten years ago, entire families were burned to ash.

After that farce, what had remained?

I stood in front of the Emiya gate.

"I'm home."

It was then that the gate opened, but it wasn't Miyu or Fujimura-sensei that greeted me.

It was Rider.

I stare up taking her features into view. Beauty that was undeniable even as a mask hid her most dangerous weapons. Honestly, long lavender hair was all we had in common despite the difference in shade and mine wasn't originally that color. I wasn't sure what connection she had to that old mirror grandfather had given me, but staring at her, I certainly wasn't looking into one.

Staring attentively at us from the entrance was Saber.

A proud beautiful knight, though a little on the petite side. In her case at least, the idea of Servants matching their summoner seemed to hold some truth. She was still apprehensive about us as she saw fit to encase herself in steel.

"Miss Knight?"

"It's dangerous to be alone at night, especially for a young lady. Please consider my Master's feelings in the future," is the small lecture she gives me. There was an odd bite to her words I couldn't quite place. It couldn't be chinese food could it? Did they have takeout? I couldn't argue against it in any case. I'm not a good girl afterall.

Despite that, Saber didn't pry about what I was doing. It was clear to me she wanted to say more, but she had stopped herself. No matter how great they were in life, even if they were literal kings and queens, they were only "Servants".

I step forward, but Saber doesn't move from her spot.

"Did you have trouble buying groceries today?" was that one little fact she did not overlook.

"Why yes I did, but for a glutton, it seems you still don't understand your position," I whisper.

All relationships are built on give and take. There's no such thing as unconditional love; only unspoken contracts. As kind, brave, loyal and beautiful as they had been in life, every Servant that answered the call did so to fulfill their own desires. Her eyes were for the Grail like every other Servant. While Heroic Spirits could be seen as weapons the Masters fought with, Masters themselves were merely tools to anchor them to the living world. Funny how it's usually the dead that weigh down the living.

The knight endures my words as she slowly moves aside, but her eyes never leave me as I walk into our home.

"I hope you don't forget yours," was the advice she gives to me.

I enter the hall. I place my shoes between Miyu's and Fujimura-sensei's. Of course his shoes wouldn't be here.

"Sakura, welcome home," Miyu calls out as she puts down her book. Greek Mythology...

In the center of the living room, she sat on her knees next to our little dinner table in her little bear onesie with Fujimura-sensei asleep across from her. She must have ran herself ragged. The supposed adult was sleeping while drooling, yet the child was still awake. On the table was a single portion rice porridge with a plate with sliced pork liver topped with spring onions on the side. The same rice porridge I had started preparing in the morning.

"Y-you made breakfast for me this morning so I…," were her own words she fumbled over. She probably wanted to ask me about what I was doing these past few hours, but we both knew she wasn't someone who prys. Well, it wasn't like I could say anything with Taiga around.

I take my seat. I stare at the unoccupied seat in front of me before turning my gaze downwards to my bowl. Something that would go down easy even if one was feeling unwell…..the irony….

People who are loved have the responsibility of proving themselves worthy of the love they receive lest they lose it. The ugliest people in this world are those that betray that responsibility and are fated to die alone. At least, that was the fate of the adults I knew.

I didn't want to grow up into an adult like that, but…..for Miyu…..

I steal a glance into those amber eyes that were like his. No, hers were purer and brighter. Something precious I needed to protect. Without him here, it was hard to meet those eyes. They were harder to meet than his.

I stare at the bowl in front of me. Topped with green onions and ginger slivers for that small little bite. Taking the ceramic spoon, I navigate the smooth textures. Creamy century eggs meld with the soft grains. A warmness invades my mouth and my heart. The tartness from tangerine peels and the faint sweetness of goji berries. I add the slices of cooked liver and the savoriness becomes almost overbearing. Overcooking liver was a sin of any chef as it would become like rubber if left too long in heat, but she avoided that issue by cooking it separately.

She knew I would break my promise, that I would be late for dinner. She had already eaten out if Saber's breath was any indication. I wasn't there for her. Neither was he.

The precious child in front of me deserves to be happy, but the smile on her face right now was fake. I told myself that the sadness she was feeling right now was necessary for her to grow. I knew it was painful, but Miyu had to understand that Illyasviel was no good just like those other nosy brats that tried to cling to her years ago.

After all, Illyasviel took him away and will only continue taking things from us to make us sad.

It was a lesson I needed her to learn for her own sake. Nothing had changed over the years. Reasoning like that…...maybe I truly was grandfather's granddaughter.

Those pure eyes continue to stare at me. I told myself I wanted to protect those eyes, but the glistening shine told me otherwise. The cruel truth was that I was hurting her for my own sake.

"Even after all these years, maybe I would be better off prepping the ingredients for you two and never touching the stove."

"That's not true…..it's just that extended exposure to a stimulus such as food during the cooking process naturally decreases the psychological and behavioral responses to it when you finally get to taste it," was her textbook answer.

"Food always tastes better when someone else makes it…..." was my translation. When I first started cooking, he would say how cooking was all about love. When I was younger, I thought he was full of it to be honest. Fujimura-sensei's cooking simply reinforced that view. Unlike them, I had no love in me back then.

"That's right…..," as the sleeping school teacher mumbles in her sleep. Well, you're the exception.

Rider and Saber were still watching me from behind. Was I ever so popular before? While they had their eyes on me, I continued to watch the one in front of me.

As I finish up my meal, the little cub puts her hands on my bowl. I wrap my hands around hers.

"We can leave the dishes for later," I say.

Even after ditching her and Saber earlier today, she hasn't given up on me. It was more than I deserved, but that was exactly why I had to show myself in front of her. I had to apologize. For the things I have done and the things I will continue to do.

"Rider, could you please carry Fujimura-sensei to the guest room?" I asked my Servant, but Saber butts in.

"Leave it to me instead," Saber commands. Whether Saber did so because she trusted me or distrusted Rider was irrelevant.

As Saber leaves the room with Taiga in her arms with Rider following closely behind, I was alone with Miyu. I tightened my grip as I prepared the words I needed to say.

"I'm sorry….. I wasn't able to bring him back like I had promised."

"It's fine. The overseer gave me a lead," was the truth I didn't want to hear from her.

The overseer, that "priest" was someone grandfather was wary of. It was a few years ago I learned why. That church was a place "he" frequently visited. Miyama wasn't a place I could walk around freely as long as "he" reigned over it. The ace I carried had almost become a death sentence. Even though he appointed me his "gardener", if I showed myself before him too much, he would kill me for certain.

I organize my thoughts which were in dissaray.

"What did he tell you?"

The small girl in front of me musters up her courage, but I could sense her hesitation.

"N-nothing Saber didn't already know," was her roundabout answer.

She was the one keeping something from me for a change. Quite a convenient thing. I wished to keep her away from the fighting, but wishes are wishes because they aren't reality.

"If you don't think I'm useful, then at the very least, please continue to take Rider with you."

The air stirs. The Servants had returned. How I miss the days when it was just us four. I could feel Saber's displeasure from behind me, but she doesn't say a thing. Neither does Rider. It was something I couldn't overlook. I stare at the wilting flower etched upon the back of my hand. It was a simple decision really I should have made earlier.

I raise my hand and announce, "By my command spell, Rider, protect Miyu as your utmost priority."

The air became still for a moment and as I stared at my hand again, only a single petal remained. It was something I had to do in that pesky knight's presence for things to flow smoothly.

"Is that good enough, Miss Knight?"

"Sakura that's…," was a sentence Miyu didn't know how to finish. I grasp at my heart, one hand over the other in order to muster my next words.

"It's alright. Even though I wasn't helpful to you, I can attest Rider will be. Don't hesitate to use her for whatever you need. She's a lot more cooperative than Saber is."

"Is that a wise decision, Master of Rider?" was Saber's attack on me. It appears my little gesture was not enough for her.

"You wouldn't trust Rider if I didn't do such a thing. You must have been wary of her all afternoon. I simply gifted you some peace of mind with no strings attached. I hope we'll all get along in the future for Miyu's sake."

Saber doesn't speak up. I take her silence as confirmation. It was funny how the least trustworthy of Servants would be a knight in shining armor.

"Then what about you?" was the concern Miyu shows for me.

"As strange as they can be, the Masters and Servants we have met so far were all civil people at heart. We can both trust Tohsaka-senpai not to attack me at least."

Perhaps cowardice ran in our blood.

"Illya….she…," was the name Miyu had to stop herself from saying.

"It's nothing," she mutters trying her best to smile while I do my best to do the same.

"I'm sure this farce will end soon."

I already knew what had transpired between her and Miyu in this house from the beginning. I helped clean this house on a weekly basis so scratches that had disappeared recently or a stray white hair could not escape my eyes. That girl had certainly attacked Miyu in this very house and Miyu had tried covering it up. Senpai too. Their meeting on the rooftop only confirmed it as it certainly wasn't their first. I wouldn't have tried punishing her if I wasn't certain about that fact.

"It will?" Miyu asks.

"Isn't that a wish anyone would make?"

The quicker things end, the quicker we can move back to where we were. Back when we all could talk to each other without reservations. I stare at the final petal. It was the same back then. The only difference now was that I was in the fight…..

Before the sun rises, before Taiga wakes, I watch two figures spar in the dojo. An invisible sword in Saber's hands and a red spear in Miyu's. Lancer's weapon? The red spear weaved playfully, but it was with the playfulness of a predator. Dowsing for any weakness while wearing down the target, but Saber wasn't simple prey. Saber was doing the same every time she parried that cursed heart-seeking point. Certainly, the real Lancer would be more skillful and fiercer, but this was good exercise for when Saber meets the genuine article.

Saber's sword stops short of Miyu's neck as I clutch the handle of the tea kettle. I was tempted to strike her down, but I was someone who endures. Saber steals a glance at me before returning to the small girl who had dismissed Lancer's astral garb with sweat dripping down her brow. I steal a glance at my scalding hand.

Rider watches with me intently with a towel in her hands just as Saber was watching us in the corner of her eye with a sword in hers.

Saber, Archer and Rider were the only other cards Miyu had brought to bear, but I knew for a fact she had a set of 7 including Illyasviel's Berserker. It was hard to dismiss how each card corresponded to the very Servants summoned for this particular Holy Grail War. A doting father stacking the deck for his favorite child? I dismiss grandfather's little slight from my mind as I pour a cup of tea and approach her with it in my hands.

"It's one thing to wake up early, but please promise me you'll stay hydrated."

"Thank you, Sakura," were her words as she receives the cup. As she smiled, sunlight started to enter the dojo.

The day had just begun.