Ch 33: Miyu's Futility

"The things you have heard. The things you have seen. The things people want from you. Don't pay any heed to it. Don't lose yourself because of other people. Miyu is just Miyu."

Saber and I were overlooking the city as the moon was overlooking us. In the night sky, there was hardly any light to scatter. My brother was most likely being held captive in one of the many apartment suites the Tohsaka owned, but with Archer as our enemy, we couldn't approach any of them carelessly. Such is the case when fighting fire with fire. As I scanned the horizon for Archer with his very own eyes, I scanned the city below for familiars. Topaz forms drowned out by yellow lights. Ethereal threads mimicking spider webs. Even if their sensory range could not compete with a hero's eyes, not every hero meets a glorious end. The small trinkets nonetheless were the only traces of evidence that the people who held my brother captive were around. On the list of properties the priest had given me, all of them were empty. If a home is a place someone is supposed to live in, none of them met the standard.

In the city below with all the acuity Archer's card could afford me, I spied Fuji-nee questioning someone on the street. Tools can be replaced, but people cannot. Even so, broken tools aren't a pretty sight which my brother could attest.

Broken air conditioners, rusted pipes and rotten floorboards could not escape my structural grasp as we raided each "home". Time doesn't wait and dust accumulates by itself which is why people need to be diligent with chores. That was one of the first lessons I was ever taught. A lesson that Kiritsugu's mistakes reinforced. An outlook Raiga wanted Fuji-nee to take to heart, but looking at her down below undejected and undeterred, there were still things I still had to learn from her. Even if she wasn't always as reliable as an adult should be and even as we blatantly hid things from her, compared to her I was still lacking something fundamental.

"There will be times where I won't be around and you'll have to look after the house."

I folded out the hand of cards I was given. Each of the 6 cards depicts a hero. The very same ones participating in this war. A hero can't be everywhere. A hero can't save everyone. There are times when people need to save themselves. There are times people need to become their own hero.

Relying on power that wasn't mine….and relying on someone else's word.

I take in the cold night air into my lungs. My brother wasn't here and neither was Sakura or Rider, but Saber was still with me. Under this moonlit sky, Saber had crossed swords with the King of Heroes. The very same which my brother had warned me about ever since he entrusted me with the Class Cards. Under this sky, Caster had met her end, but right now, the only thing that mattered was the world below.

The man Fuji-nee was speaking to was once a patient of mine. One of her grandfather's many underlings whose name escapes me. Fuji-nee was using everything at her disposal. This was the outcome, the priest hinted at. There are always things outside of one's control. If I confronted her, there was no guarantee how things would turn out, but that was the same logic onii-chan and Sakura used on me. Tomorrow is not something guaranteed. If there is one thing I learned from school, it's that I certainly wasn't the best when it comes to choosing words despite knowing so many. I avoided talking to people I didn't know for that reason.

It was then I felt a pressure upon my shoulder.

"Saber."

Saber was still with me. With the very wind as her ally, very little could elude her senses. The people around me kept secrets in order to protect me. I know that because I was now keeping secrets for the same reason.

In order to protect each other, we narrowed each other's worlds. Everyone has things they want to hide. Everyone has something they want to be. From those vivid dreams I already knew what Saber wished for and I knew it would eventually clash with mine. Under Sakura's orders to protect me, Rider who did not follow us was most likely rooting out a threat we did not know about. Bonds were precious, fleeting things.

I take Saber's features into my eyes.

"If your heart isn't committed to the battlefield, then maybe it's time to retreat," were words I didn't want to hear.

"I-I….."

If I had a wish, it was granted in this life of mine with the bonds I shared. Looking back at my short life, what did I ever do to obtain those bonds? From my earliest memories, they were something I always had and never taken for granted. Supposedly, there was a difference in value between things you are given and things you fight to obtain yourself, but I still could not understand such a thing.

For an honor student who can ace anything on the first try, of course you won't understand.

Back then I didn't understand why I needed to go to school, but that was the same for reading. When onii-chan tried to teach me, I already knew how. Reading, writing and arithmetic. Kiritsugu tutored Taiga, but I was the one who ended up doing the grading in the final year before he passed away. I didn't understand why onii-chan asked me to do such a thing until it was too late.

I don't want to regret something I overlooked. I will never take my family for granted.

"My heart isn't on the battlefield, but..."

"Kiritsugu had called the battlefield Hell itself, but even the household is a type of battlefield. Life is a never ending battle. In the chase, there are those who lose their lives and there are those who lose their way," was a king's wisdom.

Her clear eyes were always looking forward even as she looked back.

Saber had ultimately failed to save her people. Even with all her talents and her allies, her best efforts merely delayed an inevitability. As she tried her best to bear the weight of a country, it was natural for her to take on the people's blame. It was something she could have avoided if she stayed an ordinary girl, but I'm sure she would have come to blame herself. There was no wrong decision, but there was only ever one choice.

To take up the sword.

I take a leap of faith. The night air caresses my cheeks, but I paid no heed to the turbulence. There was no point in worrying over things outside of my ability. I needed to focus on what I could do at this moment. There were people who only wished to protect me and my brother was hardly the most vulnerable one.

"Install: Assassin."

Touching the ground, unseen and unheard, I take the only path while cloaked in shadow. Navigating through the sea of bodies, I position myself a stone's throw away.

"...there's nothing to worry about. The kid was just on a date with that girl with twin tails. Grew up to be a real tiger. Shouldn't you be more worried about your prospects at your age?" were words which were clearly off the mark, but it is a fact that my brother is a teenager. Fuji-nee on the other hand...

"...I can't find a decent guy, yet he has a good girl like Sakura waiting for him…..and here he is setting a bad example as an older brother...," was the sort of frustration I tended to tune out.

Twin tails? When it came to Tohsaka, very few had anything bad to say. When I was younger, people tended to compare me to her which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, though Sakura never liked it. Tohsaka Rin was gifted academically, athletically and aesthetically. She was cold and dignified as her name suggested, but that alone wasn't much of a description. That wasn't much of a description of me either. That was the extent I knew her until the Holy Grail started and even now, I wasn't quite certain.

All I knew for certain was that people were correct to admire her.

She'll put her life on the line to save ordinary people even as swords were pointed at her, but the people I cherished were never considered ordinary by outsiders. There was once someone who told me that everyone is the main character of their own story. Perhaps, everything is bound by relativity. As I ponder for my next action it seems I was careless as I sensed someone nearby too strong to be mere human above and hopefully could not sense me.

Before I had spotted Fuji-nee, someone was already tailing her. When fighting a war, it was natural to grasp someone's weakness and mine was no secret to anybody. An unseen Servant was nearby and with the command of the wind, Saber was light on her feet as she traversed the roof tops above in order to intercept. There was a high chance someone was trying to capture Fuji-nee as leverage against me just as my brother was. The Master could be nearby, but if they truly wanted to catch Fuji-nee, they would have done so already.

Either someone was specifically trying to bait us into a fight or they were trying to gather any intel against us.

I run the list of potential enemy Servants through my mind as I pass through the streets. My eyes navigate the sea of faces before I spotted an alleyway in the distance. Archer would not willingly give up his range advantage if Saber was by my side. Berserker was ill-fitting for a scout. From the way Saber spoke of the King of Heroes, he was the last person one could ever fathom slinking in the shadows. A genuine Assassin would probably be far beyond my capabilities to detect even if I was borrowing the skills of one. A genuine Assassin would have tried to strike us dead instead of inviting us.

"Lancer," I call out.

I stood by the entrance, while Saber stood by the roof above. I sensed no traps or runes. Was this Lancer the same one embedded in the card I possessed? As the shadows phase, I'm greeted by the red eyes of a hunter.

"Cornered by a pair of little ladies. Well, not unexpected," he announces with a grin and an exaggerated sigh before he readies the very spear I used against Berserker.

"I was under the impression that contestants would not interfere with the lives of innocent bystanders."

"The only obligation we have is to ensure no one knows what happens when the moon is out. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth and that's why I'm honestly jealous of Saber," as his eyes converge with Saber's from above.

He had readied his weapon for Saber and not me. He had let himself be cornered in an alleyway where his longer weapon was at a disadvantage. I scanned the walls for runes, but there weren't any.

"Setanta, is your Master willing to forge an alliance with me?"

His attention breaks for a moment as his gaze turns to me as he relaxes his back, resting his spear on his shoulders and his grin breaking down into a frown before turning into a grin once more.

"This is what I get for being too famous. Tch, the coward tasked me with scouting, but it's everyone else who knows who I am. Knowing my luck, I guess I missed the meeting. So what gave it away, little missy?" was the sort of tone my brother would use.

He does not answer my question and Saber uses that cue to land the first strike from above. As he parries Saber's attack with his spear hugging his body, the pavement cracks beneath him. Saber held the advantage of the high ground, but that was precisely why Lancer could foresee her attack.

I ready my arm with instincts that weren't mine.

I release a flurry of dirks at his feet that had been compromised by the uneven ground, but he simply takes the opportunity to rise as his back hugs the wall. Saber's unseen sword is slowed down just enough by a scrawled out rune for him to leap over her strike. Before his eyes converged on my position, Saber was already a step ahead. As someone who made his mark by surviving countless arrows from above and died on his feet, he could not be taken out by ordinary means.

I draw.

"Install:Archer."

A red bolt escapes the string in my hands only to be deflected by his red spear. Saber wastes no time to take advantage of the opening as she lands a thrust that cascades across his face as he frantically makes his escape to the rooftop above. My subsequent red bolts fail to hit their mark, but Saber doesn't waste this opportunity as she uses a jutting bolt as a step.

"Stay close behind," were the words left behind as she ascended.

Setanta would not escape even if he managed to narrowly redirect the blow meant for his neck.

The clashing sounds continue to escalate above me as I watch through Saber's eyes. The injured hero's attacks become more reckless as he deduces the length of Saber's invisible blade, but Saber continues to be the one pressing forward. On the rooftop, he could finally make use of his weapon's superior length, but Saber was not inferior in terms of speed and superior when it came to strength. So much so, that the leverage afforded by his weapon served to be a disadvantage as Saber continued to smash away at his aggressive defense as sparks illuminated the night.

Force multiplied by distance.

The hooked tip reels forward, but it is smashed aside with the force of a gale. The red arc splits the air trying to unveil Saber's concealed blade. Inside the reach of a spear, the sword held the undeniable advantage, but hero's weren't so simple. It was the Irish hero's instinct to close the distance. While he had to be wary of Saber's weapon, we knew for certain the terror clutched in his hands.

"Still not serious are you Saber?" was the barely contained excitement on the surface of his heart.

In the harsh era he lived in, battle was one of the few joys for the ill-fated man. To embrace one's fate regardless of the outcome with a smile. That's what it meant to wield a cursed spear that consigned people to the ultimate fate without distinction or malevolence.

An artifact of filicide.

The knight who embraced his fate and the knight who continued to fight against the forgone conclusion. A primal glee buffs honed indifference, coalescing like oil and water. As I lingered in a nearby balcony, it was clear one misstep in this battle would result in innocents being harmed. Clashing weapons weave around each other.

The Cursed Spear and the Holy Sword.

For a Master, a Servant is life itself. Without a Master, a Servant is destined to fade. Without a Servant, a Master isn't far off. What counts in war isn't the prestige of a hero or the power of Noble Phantasms, but victory.

I ready the bow….

The winds were changing. On this night through Saber's eyes, Lancer was within our sights. Our opponent was still carefully gauging our capabilities, but the reverse wasn't true.

"Hrunting."

Escaping from my string, careening upward piercing the heavens was no prayer. A red comet cuts through the sky unpredictably jagged, but it will hit true like lightning. The potential gradient. Red intercepts crimson as a sliver of razor wind weaves through drawing a bright scarlet. I failed to pierce Lancer's protection as expected, but Saber was able to draw a gaping wound.

"Tch, I thought this was supposed to be nothing more than a little sparring match between us. You're nothing like how that bastard described, self proclaimed King of Knights," the spear knight laughs.

"The courtesy I give is only equivalent to the courtesy I receive. Stalking someone that has no involvement in our fight was ill-befitting of a knight so on this night I won't treat you as one," was Saber's answer.

"Geis are troublesome things. From a good master, they are something to take pride in. It's unfortunate I wasn't as fortunate as you, but I enjoyed our little match, Saber," as Lancer laughs at his own luck.

Lancer had failed to scratch Saber's armor, while he was riddled with wounds, just like how I was. This was the outcome we had trained for. There was no reason to hesitate, but I knew the sort of ending that awaited my family if I kept rushing forward.

"Is your intuition really that good, or did we fight before?" was Lancer's sharp intuition.

"From all the sneaking around you were doing, you should already know the answer to that. Did your Master put you up to it?" was Saber's response.

"That's all he asks me to do. Scout out the competition, one on one spars, but of course everyone's practicing the buddy system. So where's Rider? She's not going to blindside me now is she?" Lancer confesses with a lackadaisical tone.

"How do you know if I'm allied with Rider? The projectile that almost hit you was certainly an arrow wasn't it?" Saber asks with a reserved smile.

"You're trying to pick a fight on purpose ain't cha?" Lancer asks.

"If you have been operating in these parts, then you certainly must have encountered a tyrant who thinks himself the King of all Heroes. I can't imagine someone like you as his ally," Saber probes.

The King of Uruk, a Heroic Spirit that remained from the previous Holy Grail War. The final obstacle for Saber 10 years ago. As the Masters who survived that conflict, I only knew of my father who was Saber's Master and the priest Kirei whom he thought of as the greatest enemy. Even if there were more surviving Masters, Kiritsugu and Kirei were certainly the only two who remained residents of Fuyuki.

The Church was an outside intermediary to oversee the Masters and thus had no bearing on the actions of the Holy Grail itself when it came to choosing Masters.

Masters aren't chosen by chance. The world of Magi was a comparatively small one in contrast to the greater world. If the children of departed Masters were chosen by the Grail as replacements, it stands to reason any surviving Master of a previous war be given the same opportunity.

Through Saber's eyes, Lancer doesn't move. He simply sighs.

The Overseer was suspicious from the start, but I could not rationalize any clear motive that would disqualify him from being impartial. That's why he was terrifying. From what I knew from my brother and Saber, the Babylonian King who survived the last war was someone too prideful to assume the role of a mere Servant. He was someone who did whatever he pleased and in that way, the priest was no different.

It may have not been from the start and even if Gilgamesh currently has no need for a Master to anchor him, Kirei was most certainly Gilgamesh's Master during the final hours of the 4th Holy Grail War.

I stare down at the addresses Kirei had given me. I was still not certain if they were fake or if Rin and Illyasviel were simply a step ahead of me. Saber and I had raided each address sequentially based on distance from west to east. These past few days, I had been going to wherever the priest had wanted me to. From the things he knew about me and my family, it seemed he flaunted the idea that he knew me better than I did myself. I was still someone hopelessly reliant on others when it came to the most important things.

"What are you implying, Saber?" the spearman asks.

"We both know the Master you serve is untrustworthy. Your chances of obtaining the Holy Grail is currently zero. Would you like instead to forge a pact with my Master then?" Saber….

Eh?

"You're not making…..well if such a convenient thing can be done, I wouldn't mind it. Better than the Master I have right now or that scary..," were words Lancer isn't able to finish before the space warps around him.

A Command Spell?

He disappears without a trace. A Command Spell to return to his Master's side. Instead of using it as a last ditch measure to defeat Saber or to kill me, who knew his Servant's name, it was simply used to flee. Setanta's Master took Saber's words seriously, implying they were aware of the cards I had in hand, but not so serious enough to harm me. In the eyes of Illyasviel and Rin, I was a formidable obstacle because of those cards, so what did Setanta's Master think of me who knew his Servant's true name? He probably knew from the start.

I scale the wall to reunite with Saber. She sighs after confirming something as Fuji-nee thankfully headed for the direction of home. Lancer did not take her hostage.

"I'm positive that Kirei is Lancer's Master," was Saber's conclusion.

My intuition had told me the same thing, but evidence was nowhere near conclusive. My relation to Fuji-nee isn't something an outsider of Fuyuki would know. Even if they did, any other magus wouldn't hesitate to kidnap her to gain an advantage over me if it would take them closer to their goals. Unless that magus wanted me to take care of Illyasviel and Rin first. Magi always had their goals first in mind. Results are all that matter.

That thing is nothing more than the means to save everything.

Focus. Focus. I focus my eyes on Saber. The intuition of a fabled king isn't something that can be taken lightly. To have achieved as much as she did in life despite everything stacked against her, she had to navigate the royal court. Despite what subjects thought of her, she was intimate with the relations of her subjects as any king should be. From the person her queen loved to the identity of a certain knight who never took off their helmet, a young king stood in silent clarity.

The difference between knowledge and wisdom.

Everyone around me had things to hide, but I know for certain that whatever secrets Kotomine Kirei was keeping from me was not for my sake. Knowing something is not the same thing as knowing what to do. It was a fact my life was in danger, but there is always a divide between fact and what one considers common sense. Rider who was ordered with a Command Spell to protect me wasn't with us right now only adds credence to a looming threat I did not know of.

There were things people will never tell me. There are things I must uncover myself. I've already ransacked other people's homes, so the Church on the hill should be no different. At this time, it should be unoccupied. Searching it should have been the first thing for me to do and it might be what he expects from me.

My father considered him to be the greatest enemy for a reason.