Thank you for reading! I don't own any of Harry Potter! Please let me know if you enjoy! Updates every Saturday!
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While the Marauders sputtered through their treatments in the Hospital Wing, Severus escaped from Madam Pomfrey's care as quickly as possible, desperate to find Lily.
As he roamed from area to area of the castle without any sign of his darling flower, his task began to feel impossible.
Where had she gone?
Had McGongagall taken her to her office?
Whisked her away somewhere?
………..Perhaps Lily had escaped to the Gryffindor Common Room for respite?
Severus's heart raced while he rounded yet another corner deep in Hogwarts' spiraling corridors.
A gasp of pure surprise left his throat as he nearly crashed directly into…..
"LILY!" He exclaimed before he could stop himself.
Their eyes widened as they both instinctively halted a split second before what would have been their violent collision in the hallway.
The privacy of the moment, which should have been a gift, seemed more like a curse as they stared at each other in the deafening silence that followed.
Although Severus's black gaze searched her fair face for any sign of mercy or forgiveness, as Lily stared back, he saw no hateful anger in her emerald eyes, only a glimmer of morose acceptance.
"Lily……" Severus began in his low drawl, "I am terribly sorry about what I said, it just…..it just…."
"No, Sev." She answered with a wry smile, "I'm the one who should apologize. McGonagall sat down and…..and talked to me about a few things. It was reckless of me to endanger your safety and for that, please believe me when I say that I am genuinely and thoroughly…..sorry."
Severus frowned as he watched tears of remorse gather in her beautiful, green eyes.
"You were only trying to help me, Lily." He began but she cut him off, "-No, Sev! I wasn't! I mean, I was trying to help you, yes, but it was a selfish, irresponsible way to go about it! McGonagall is right! I'm sorry, but….I…..I can't allow you to be near me anymore…….It's too dangerous."
Severus's dark eyes bulged.
His mouth dropped open as his face went slack as if Lily had just slapped him.
"W-What…….?" He stammered.
"Being near me is too much of a hazard." Lily sniffed as she forced back her tears, "I….I'm sorry, Sev, but I suppose we have to part ways. These next few years of my life….they….there'll be a lot of changes and I….I almost hurt you today. I can't pull you into my rubbish."
"Yes, you can!" Severus exclaimed, "Tell me what you need, Lily, and I'll do it! Tell me what you want, Lily……and I'll see it gets done!...There isn't a thing in this world I wouldn't do to see you happy!"
"That's very sweet, Sev." Lily replied with a bitter smile as she gazed into his pale face, "...But the best way you can help me is by staying far away. I could never be happy again if you ever ended up hurt….or worse…..because of me."
"Lily…." Severus frowned, certain the hateful word he had spoken in an effort to protect them both had wounded her feelings beyond reasonable repair, "I am truly, deeply sorry for what I said, but you have to understand……"
"Oh, Sev!" Lily chuckled as she gave him a knowing smile, "Do you honestly believe I'm upset about that? Yes, I understand you said it because Mulciber and Avery were watching, I'm not daft, I know who their parents serve……The word itself though….Honestly, there are better insults you could have called me."
Severus blinked his dark eyes as he listened to his darling.
The tears that had pooled in her eyes began to fall and roll down her cheeks as she told Severus with grim sincerity, "There's much worse things in my blood besides muggle ancestry, Sev."
Severus tried to gather his words while Lily frowned and said, "Goodbye, Severus."
Before he could do anything but gasp in response, she turned and hurried down the hallway.
"Lily!" Severus called after her, "LILY!"
Left alone to suffer through his grief, knowing his connection with his flower had been severed, Severus sank to his knees and placed his hands against the stone tiles in that lonely hallway.
He could barely withstand it, the merciful grace Lily had shown him while cruelly separating herself while she looked out for his well-being.
Severus grappled with his own anger and resentment as he squeezed his eyes shut.
He didn't care what Lily was, or what she was going through, he would walk beside her regardless of the peril it brought upon him.
What didn't she understand?
As he pushed aside his pity for himself, worry encircled his broken heart as his dark eyes cracked open.
Whatever Lily faced, whatever she had to do, it pained Severus to know that she intended to go on alone.
Why hadn't she just let him stay beside her?
In his fifth year at Hogwarts, Severus clung to a real and solid truth which he had known as soon as he had laid eyes on his flower that day by the riverside………
His true place in the world was standing next to Lily Evans.
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Much to Severus's dismay, the Marauders were soon released from the Hospital Wing, though Lily's shocking display of raw power frightened them out of attacking him directly.
His bullies abandoned their physical torments and turned to more covert methods of power play.
They threw glares at him during class, whispered hateful rumors about him into the ears of all who would listen, and did their very best to ostracize him.
When Severus lost Lily, he lost himself.
Once it became commonly known she had chosen to linger around James Potter, Severus resigned himself to the tragic reality that he and his darling had parted forever.
Long weeks droned into months.
A year seemed to be an eternity.
As Severus and Lily's sixth term of Hogwarts came to a close, they sat in the same classrooms throughout the day and listened to the same lectures while remaining worlds apart.
The only comfort Severus found in the sad developments of the recent months continued to be the frown that had stayed on Lily's face.
James Potter may have been wealthier, fitter, and more popular than Severus, but he had failed to make Lily smile.
Severus did not wish to see his darling in any amount of distress, yet it made him proud that Lily had never looked so miserable during the time they had shared together, not once.
Late one afternoon while Slughorn concluded his Potions lecture, Severus experienced the unsettling feeling that someone stared in his direction.
He glanced up and blinked as he noticed Lily held him in her emerald gaze.
Her eyes flickered down to what his pushed-up sleeves revealed of his left forearm.
Severus hurriedly made an attempt to cover the area, but the disappointment on her face told him what he needed to know.
He had moved too slowly.
Lily had gotten a clear look at the Dark Mark tattoo on his skin.
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Both blatantly unhappy being apart, Severus and Lily longed to find a way back to each other.
Their feelings only intensified as Hogwarts' students prepared to return home during their final week of classes.
Despite his yearning, Severus had respected Lily's wishes and left her in peace.
Severus did not realize her comradery with his nemesis ultimately held a purpose for his own benefit.
Every day, Lily struggled with the guilt about what would become of James, what she intended to do with him, and how his parents would grieve their crushing loss……..
"Before you all head home for the season…." McGongagall chirped during their next to last Transfiguration lesson of the school year, "The Headmaster wanted me to make you all aware of an opportunity that's just been approved by the Board of Governors this morning. Hogwarts intends to pilot a new programme this summer and if it is as successful as our staff hopes, then perhaps it may have regular, yearly availability."
As the students gazed at McGonagall with silent questions on their curious expressions she nodded and explained, "For those who wish to gain an advantage over next year's coursework, a six week long summer course will be offered at the castle with units in Potions, Transfiguration, and Herbology as well as a side curriculum in Defence Against the Dark Arts. For now, this will only be open to rising seventh year students, however, if this endeavor does go well, Professor Dumbledore may expand the ages of those eligible to attend."
Hands immediately rose into the air as the class assaulted McGonagall with question after question.
As Severus sat and listened, he watched Lily closely.
For him, the announcement came as a breath of fresh air.
Severus had dreaded spending another summer trapped in his abusive household with nothing but his memories and the soft sound of his mother's weeping to comfort him.
At least if he stayed at the castle, he would have enough to eat and a soft, clean bed to soothe the pain that came from missing Lily.
While he brooded, he failed to see the unreadable look that crossed his darling's fair face.
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James and his friends were among the first ones out the door once the period ended.
Many lingered behind as McGonagall waved her wand and floated a scroll of parchment in the air next to a suspended quill to allow interested students to sign themselves up for the new summer course.
Severus stood in the queue for several moments while he patiently waited his turn.
Once he finally approached the floating parchment, he grasped the quill as he signed his name underneath the last entry.
The sudden sound of the familiar voice made his heart skip a beat.
"I'll take that."
Severus whirled around with the quill in his hand.
His dark eyes widened as he found himself standing in front of……."Lily!"
"Hey, Sev." She said as she flashed him a sad smile, "So……you'll be here this summer too?"
"I……Yes, I will." Severus nodded as he struggled to find his words.
His pulse raced as he spoke to his beloved flower for the first time in more than a year.
"Brilliant." Lily nodded as he handed her the quill.
"Will Potter be joining you?" He asked, unable to hide the hateful jealousy that permeated his low voice.
"I don't pay much attention to what James does." Lily shrugged.
Severus blinked as he stepped aside and let her write her name on the floating scroll.
Ready to end their awkward chat but not to leave Lily's side, he reluctantly slunk away until she called out again, "...Sev?!"
"Yes…..?" He instantly responded as he whirled around.
"It's been really difficult, hasn't it?" She asked as her emerald eyes watered with tears.
"Yes…….It has." Severus frowned.
A pregnant silence settled in the air, ready to give birth to the voiced mutual yearnings held in their hearts.
"...I miss you." Lily confessed.
The pout on her lips and the sadness reflected in her green eyes snapped Severus's heart into pieces before she rushed past him and left the room.
His chest heaved as silent hope bloomed in his soul.
If only as his friend and nothing more, Severus longed to have his darling Lily back in his life.