This was a commission for Amy_511 on Ao3! I hope you all enjoy! Part two of Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better will be out by Wednesday!

WARNINGS: NSFW (18+), gore

"What did he tell you?"

"I ain't telling you shit!"

Amelia frowned and tilted her head before twisting the blade that was already lodged into the man's leg. He let out a pained scream but she didn't remove the knife.

"If you just tell me what I need to know I'll let you live, I promise!" A lie, but sometimes it worked. "I mean, honestly. You're wanted for tons of robberies, do you think the Bat's gonna leave you alone because you helped him? You'll just get locked up too."

The man didn't respond as Amelia let go of the knife, leaving it in his leg to tie her hair back into a ponytail. Well if he didn't plan on talking yet, this was going to be fun for her.

"Mm. Fine! I wonder how loud you can scream~" Amelia grabbed onto the knife again. One tug.

Then another.

Then another.

She made sure to watch out for any major arteries. The sight of more blood made her lick her lips and zone out the man's screaming. She just had lunch though; it wasn't snack time yet. She could save some for later, he was dying anyway.

"You haven't had any drugs recently, have you? Nothing in your system?" Amelia's blue eyes locked onto her finger now covered in blood. She yanked at the knife more once she got no answer.

"N-No! Nothing."

"Oh, goodie," She sucked the blood off of her finger and licked it clean before humming.

Plenty of people do weird shit in Gotham and that includes certain cosmetic choices. There was no way this man was at the mercy of a fucking vampire, right?

"You taste good~." She leaned forward and for a brief second, her eyes flashed red, "are you going to answer my question? If not, I'll have to go with more drastic measures."

Amelia was pleased when he refused to answer.

"Really? Fine." She removed the knife from his leg and he let out a relieved sound at first.

He got a bit confused once she started to untie his leg. Amelia hummed to herself as she lifted his leg up and made eye contact with the man. Her excitement made him very nervous. At first, she started to tug lightly, but slowly, the pull got stronger and stronger. The strain in his leg made something extremely clear. She wasn't stopping until she pulled his leg off. Even him screaming and begging for her to stop didn't seem to bother her. If it wasn't the answer to her question, she wasn't listening.

"Am I going to slow? Should I go faster-"

"Stop! STOP!"

"What did the Bat tell you? Tell me and I'll stop~"

"S-Stop and I'll tell you."

Her blue eyes narrowed. This guy just wasn't getting it, was he? It would be very disappointing to kill him without getting any information.

"Whose good side would you like to stay on? The Bat's or the Joker's?"

It wasn't a tough decision. What're a few broken bones to being tortured and killed, right? Well, at least it wasn't a tough decision for anyone else. This guy didn't have his priorities set up correctly, and Amelia was getting antsy. With one final hard tug, she watched as his leg tore apart from his body. Blood splattered across her face and she tossed the leg, sitting down as the man wailed out in pain. She crossed her legs and covered his mouth, muffling his screams. Her grip on his face was tight and she leaned forward, pulling him close and speaking lowly.

"I'll let you bleed out. Then toss your body out. But there are plenty of people out there with one leg. You can be one of them if you tell me what I need to know. Or am I ripping off more limbs?"

Amelia moved her hand and smiled. The man was singing like a canary now. Too bad she was lying about letting him live. She glanced back once she heard the faint sound of her apartment door opening and closing. Only one person had a key. She grinned and glanced back once the door opened.

"A surprise visit? I must be special~"

The Joker rolled his eyes at the comment and was about to respond until his dark eyes caught sight of the leg laying in front of him. He bent down to pick it up then looked over at the man before stifling a laugh.

"He's uh, he's pretty beat up, huh?"

"Well, that's what happens when you're stubborn." Amelia looked back at him and squinted her eyes a bit. The Joker only came for two reasons if it wasn't related to wreaking havoc. He was pissed off about something Batman related, or he was pissed off because he was sleepy. His eyes drooped a bit as he examined the leg in his hand. He had to be sleepy then.

"Take a picture, Ace. It'll last longer-ah."

Ace. She liked that nickname, even if he was grumpy.

"Would you like to do the honors while I go get my camera then?" Amelia deadpanned, getting up.

"With pleasure."

"W-Wait! You said if I told you then-"

"I lied." Amelia smiled at the man before sliding past the Joker to move out of the room, "have fun~"

The woman spent her time cleaning the blood off of her and making some tea until the Joker was done having his phone. By the time he was down, she had two cups of tea sitting on the coffee table and was reading a book on the couch.

"Well? Feeling any better?" She glanced from her book once he flopped onto the couch.

"Who? Me? Never better. What makes you think there's something, uh, wrong? Hm?" He looked at her.

"You're grumpy."

"Oh, I'm always grumpy."

"You're grumpier. Have a sip." Amelia gestured towards the tea and picked up her own mug, "you're only this grumpy when you're sleepy~"

The Joker muttered under his breath but still brought the mug up to his lips. The two talked for a bit until Amelia felt herself getting a bit tired. She was always quick to nap after a lot of excitement. She set her mug down and shuffled a bit closer to the Joker.

"Still not admitting that you're sleepy?"

"Nope." He pulled her closer, closing his eyes.

"Hmmm. I'll just have to assume that you are then~"

"Uh, assume what you want, doll. What information did you get out of the dead man?"

"I'll tell you after my nap." Amelia closed her eyes. She was starting to doze off, and it was making him sleepier as well.

It was like her tiredness rubbed off on him. If he couldn't manage to take a nap on his own after a few days, he'd always come to her.

"...Thirty minutes won't hurt." He muttered.

"Maybe forty-five. We'll see." Amelia cooed.

The vampire was pretty good at her job. She was good at lulling people to sleep too.