Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., Mr. M, Joff is more fun than I suspected, I am starting to like the little shit. He will fuck his world and a lot of girls. For free of course. That sounded so strange...

Previous:

I looked at the crowd and amplified my voice: "Before you stands Joffrey Baratheon! First of his Name!" Yep, I am a shameless Braggart, and proud of it. The crowd started cheering my name.

My first hurdle is taken. Several more to go. Sansa had stars in her eyes, Arya had daggers in hers. Life is good again.

16 A messenger from the Gods…

I turned to Stannis and Renly and said: "Come to the throne room with your advisers. Lady Margaery, Lady Sansa, Littl… Lady Arya, follow me please. Arya's grip on her Needle intensified, Sansa whispered: "Don't react to his taunts Arya, he loves it when he can get you angry."

Unsure, Lady Margaery followed us into the throne room. I pointed them to stand next to the throne. I mumbled: "One, two, and three. I am doing great." Sansa's hand on Arya kept her calm.

When everyone was in the room, I sat down on the throne and fucking cut myself on it. Arya chuckled when she noticed it. Swearing, I stood up and transformed it into a decent chair. I conjured two more chairs and a little one for the brat.

I commented: "What idiot was sharpening those blades on that chair? I bloody cut myself on it!" The room was silent with the display of my magic.

I looked around and said: "Come on people! Did you really expect that I could win against my uncles and Hagrid's sister without Divine help? That day on the square, the Gods intervened, to prevent the destruction of Westeros and the world.

They gave me Abilities and Skills to accomplice this task."

Lord Stark asked: "Which Gods are you talking about? There are many of them in this world."

Hmm, Bullshit time: "Every nation or race worships the same Gods, they just name them different. The Old Gods from the First Men, The Seven, The great Stallion, they represent the same Deities. They are just worshiped differently, according to the habits and customs of the population."

I looked around and said: "This world contains Demons too. One of them Uncle Stannis, is R'hllor, the Fire Demon. Demons need human sacrifices to gain power. A powerful Ice Demon is beyond the wall, the legendary Night King, who commands the Others. Shadow binders, the warlocks of Qarth. All of them prey on human life. These are the enemies I have to fight."

Acting 45 Bullshitting 110

Meh, as long they believe it. I said to the people in the room: "I will start traveling soon, Lady Sansa and Lady Margaery will accompany me, and… Little Lady? Do you want to travel with us? Go on an adventure with us?" Arya was torn between two extremes, loving to travel, and hating me to the bone.

I addressed Lord Stark: "Tomorrow I will take you to Winterfell, I will heal Bran, and bring uncle Tyrion here. You may decide, stay in Winterfell or here."

To Loras and Renly I said: "The time for playing games is over, I take Margaery and cancel your marriage, if you want, you can marry each other, and adopt a relative as Heir. I will heal Willas Tyrell so he can be the next Lord of the Reach. Further, I want Lady Olenna here in my small council. Lord Tyrion too. Lord Stark, ask a Manderly to be the Master of Coins.

Uncle Stannis, I think you need a year to set things straight in the Stormlands, but you can appoint a trusted man in this council. In fact, every region needs to be represented. Even those Iron Born. Lord Stark, send ravens to Dorne, Riverlands, the Vale, Pyke, and ask for representatives for the small council. Uncle Tyrion will represent the Westerlands."

Did I forget something? Ah! Pycelle! Well, he will slip tonight. It is a tragedy. Hmm… I'll get the eggs tonight from the Citadel. And hop over to Pentos to see if Daenerys is already getting shagged by her Stallion. It is cutting close. No, if I remember it right, they survive an assassination attempt, ordered by King Robert. She can have her stallion, I just will nick her eggs.

They all left to take care of their business, the three menaces followed me into my quarters. I asked Arya: "Well Little One? Travel or Stay at home tomorrow? We can even search for that wolf of yours. I can't undo the things that already happened, but I can mend things and compensate some losses."

I closed my eyes and created six Skill books, for Arya: Basic One-handed Sword and Warging. For Sansa: Basic Archery and Basic Light Magic. For Margaery: Basic Healing and Basic Light Magic.

I explained the Skills and how to train them up: "This is the start of a journey, practice it a lot and you get far, neglect it and it will fade away. These are but a few I can teach you. But first, High Valyrian for the three of you."

Translation Magic is such a cheat. I can copy any language I know into the mind of someone. And I can learn any language by reading books with the translation magic from the wizarding world. I left the three girls dazed, processing the new knowledge.

Xxxxx

I flamed in the secret room of the Citadel and took the eggs, after Spelling and Healing them, I gave them to Betsy so she had something to do. Flaming was so much better than Teleporting, with flaming I could sense my destination and what and who is there.

I flamed straight into Mopatis' office in Pentos. A body bind and Legilimence later confirmed that Daenerys is riding her stallion between Norvos and Qohor. His Kid is with the Golden Company, but without him sponsoring them he won't get far.

That day, Illyrio Mopatis died from a heart attack, he took the secret of his hidden stashes with him into the grave. They were empty anyway... at least, Now they are empty.

I flamed back into my room, cleaning spells only get you clean, it is not comparable with a good hot bath… I had a small emergency tent somewhere in my Inventory... I cleared some room and erected my small tent. It had the bare necessities, only six bedrooms, a kitchen, and three bathrooms. Ah, a sandpit and an office too. I told the girls: "If you want a hot bath it is in the tent.

Sansa was the bravest, that or already numb of the magic I pull off. The others followed in when Sansa gave a happy shout. After an explanation of how the taps work, Arya pushed me out of the tent.

I protested: "Wife NR. Two! I already saw you naked." She yelled: "I'll stab you! You pervert!"

The handmaids hustled them into the baths, nobles can't do a thing without a busload of servants. At least the guards stayed outside.

Xxxxx

The next day, the maids freaked out when they looked in the tent and saw Benny stretching his legs, the sandpit was for one dragon only. The wives designed the tent for single use.

Sansa, Arya, and Margaery were hiding behind their bedroom door. Arya screamed: "You bastard! Remove that dragon! I need to use the restroom and I don't want to get chewed on!"

Benny resented that! That Wich tasted awful. He tipped the door open and looked at the loudmouth. Benny was confused, a few days ago they were much smaller and happy to brush him. I came in and patted Benny's head: "Hey! Benny is a nice guy, he just doesn't like girls screaming in his ears. Do you really think that I put a man-eating monster in here? Don't answer that little brat! Anyway, in ten minutes it will be Bernie's turn for a sand bath."

Margaery asked: "Bernie? Who is Bernie?" I shrugged: "He is another dragon, he is a bit younger than Benny. Betsy is brooding, she won't come out today." It is so much fun to freak the kids out.

At breakfast, the rumor of my dragon in a Portable Mansion went viral. The Hall was buzzing, Arya was loudly complaining that I am bullying her with dragons.

I laughed at her: "O, you cry baby, Benny won't hurt a fly." She shouted: "That Benny mauled a witch yesterday! That is bigger than a fly!" Sansa just rolled her eyes.

Xxxxx

Taking a portkey for the first time is fun… to see. Lord Stark and my guards took the rope and disappeared. The girls held on to me and I flamed to Winterfell.

The Hound was cursing me for not warning them about the landing. I said: "Where is the fun in that?" He growled: "I almost like the old boy better." I grinned: "No you don't, the old one didn't give you an awesome sword and very expensive armor. See? No dents in it at all."

We appeared in front of the gates of Winterfell, the guard sounded the alarm, until they noticed their Lord. Quickly they opened the gate and let us in. The harpy came out to greet her husband and kids. She glared at me: "Are you here to kill some more of our men?"

Hmm, did I already eat bread and salt? The rules of hospitality don't apply to me then: "No I am here to take your daughters away from you. Lord Stark, can Benny and Bernie stretch their wings a bit?"

Ned nodded, with a roar two big dragons took to the sky. The hound cursed: "Shiiit! Those are big, where do you keep them, lad?" The harpy screamed her lungs out, I remarked: "Hey little brat, the screaming you got from your mum." The little brat began stabbing at me again.

Uncle Tyrion watched the comedy show, he said: "Not the Joffrey I saw leaving here." The Hound said: "No shit, the little boy changed after he ordered to chop Starks head off."

Tyrion looked puzzled: "The head is still in place, what happened?" The Hound grinned: "The Gods happened, can you believe that? They changed the little bastard into someone that can beat Loras and Renly in a two on one duel in less than three seconds. He sparred with a guard of Renly for twenty minutes, no it wasn't sparring he was toying with her."

Tyrion was puzzled: "Her?" The Hound grinned: "Her, a giant woman, Briana of House Tarth. Good with a blade too. He kept calling her Hagrid's sister."

Xxxxx

We gathered in Lord Stark's solar, while the girls met the other Stark boys, I said: "As compensation for all the deaths my mother caused, here is a ring with two hundred thousand dragons, for the families of the victims, for each guard that died, one armor and sword for their sons, and clothes and jewelry for the daughters and wives.

For the ladies in waiting that got killed ten thousand dragons and a high-quality magic armor and sword. Those are better than the valyrian swords. For the maids, thousand dragons a piece. It is a small compensation, it can't bring them back to life."

They were stunned, I handed them a fortune in money and artifacts. Anyway, I asked: "Well Lord Stark? Are you staying here or return to King's Landing?" Ned shook his head: "I am needed here. The Lords are stirring problems."

I told him: "Send a raven to Lord Bolton and demand the head of Ramsey Snow. He raped and flayed several girls already, also mention that the offer of Tywin will never work. Now, show me to your son so I can heal him." It is handy if you know the story, you can remove the obstacles before they become too big.

Bran was up in no time, I removed the memory from the fall, I will handle Jaime myself. I gave him a Skill book, Basic Warging, it is just a boost up for Bran. I said: "If a tree-eyed raven asks to come to him, don't go, it is a trick to take your body over."

Xxxxx

That afternoon I said to Lord Stark: "Remember that I traveled different worlds? One of them was Westeros, there, I gained a wife. I am going to summon her into this world. It will surprise you what she has to say.

Summon Companion

State Name and Age

Lyanna Stark Age 16

Confirm Y / N?

Hah! I learned my lesson! At sixteen I can shag them right away. No more waiting until they are of age. I pressed Y. Lyanna appeared in the clothes I said goodbye to her. A good thing she wasn't naked in bed with me when I said goodbye.

She jumped into my arms: "Husband! I missed you soo much! Thank you for not hooking up with me in the previous level, she was totally delusional." I kissed her and said: "I missed you too honey, I didn't want to summon you when your counterpart was still alive. We have to get the levels above 100 here. First, say hi to your brother."

Lyanna turned to Ned and said: "I am so disappointed in you Ned. Did you really believe that kidnapping story? Or that I would be willing to share that stag with a herd of whores in the Stormlands? You bloody proposed that marriage! You knew the kind of man he was and still, you wanted to sell me to him! No wonder your Lyanna took off with Rhaegar, between him and that whoremonger? It was an easy choice!"

OK… maybe the shock effect was a bit big. I had to throw a Heal to Ned or he got a heart attack too. He stammered: "Lyanna? I saw you die! How? What?" The harpy was slack-jawed, while Sansa said to Arya: "Lyanna? That is our aunt! She looks just like you Arya, only a few years older."

I heard that and grinned at Arya: "See what I mean wife NR Two? You have to wait until you are sixteen before you can catch my attention."

The brat began stabbing her Needle again. Lyanna slapped the back of my head: "Stop teasing her husband or it is the couch for you tonight. And Ned! she left letters in Riverrun for Dad and You. That creep Bealish must have held them back as revenge for losing the duel."

Tyrion said to the Hound: "I am not dreaming this, right?" The Hound shrugged: "He has two big dragons somewhere in his pockets, does it surprise you he has some women in there too?"

Slowly Tyrion nodded: "If you put it that way, do you think he has some more in there? Would he share?"

Oops, Lyanna heard that: "Tyrion Fucking Lannister! Find your own bloody wife! My husband doesn't share his wives! And neither do I!" I handed Lyanna a storage ring, she walked to Margaery, Sansa, and Arya to get to know them. Without a thought, she released her dragon Beauty, who joined the two others in the sky with a mighty roar.

The Hound commented: "You better watch that mouth of yours, she has a temper, and I don't mean the dragon." Tyrion slowly nodded: "Life became much more interesting all of a sudden.

The Hound grumbled: "That it is."

Xxxxx

Meanwhile, I inspected Rob Stark: "Heir Stark, what do you know about the First Men and the Old Gods? Do you speak the Old Tongue?"

Rob answered: "Not much my King, we focused on the politics from the South." I nodded: "Ah I see, so you want to be the Lord of the Riverlands? You sure are not from the North, you are raised as a Tully. Who is going to be Lord Stark? Bran?"

Rob got angry and said: "I am going to be Lord Stark after father!"

I shrugged: "Then you better learn about the North instead of the South. Or you end up like squid boy here." Theon said: "What do you mean ending up like me?… Sire?" I answered: "I mean those Iron Born will never recognize you as their Lord. You never claimed the Iron Price, in other words, you never killed, raped, and robbed helpless people. You became one of the North, not an Iron Born anymore, no matter how much you like to think so."

I left two confused boys behind. I said to Ned Stark: "If you don't learn your kids about the Old Ways then in one or two generations a Bolton or Karstark will sit on your chair. Kick that Septa back to the south, and tell your wife this is the North, she should behave like one of them."

I can't help it, I just don't like the bitch.

Xxxxx

Soon we were ready to leave, Sansa and Margaery stood with the guards, while the harpy was arguing with Ned. Finally, Ned said: "Arya will decide for herself if she wants to go or not."

Arya glared at me: "Do you want me to come? Do you even like me?" I smiled at the little brat: "I want you to come and I like you very much." She looked at her mother and told her: "Goodbye mother, I'll watch over Sansa." Sansa just rolled her eyes.

The guards swore when they saw the rope, knowing what will happen is not always a good thing.

Back in Kings Landing, Tyrion crawled from under the pile, groaning and complaining about my ways of traveling. I choffed: "Why are you complaining? You just bloody traveled more than a thousand miles in a few seconds. It beats months on a horse isn't it?"

He grumbled: "Not when you got flattened by ten guards in full armor." The following days I installed the small council under Lyanna's leadership, I even went with Margaery to High Garden to fetch Olenna and heal Willas Tyrell, Mace Tyrell however looked a bit sick, I doubt he will last two years, enough to train Willas for the job.

Life goes slow if you have to travel on horseback. While I waited for the members of the small council to arrive, I went with Arya to look for her Direwolf, we flew over the region on Benny. I told her: "Try sensing her. You have a connection with her, let it guide you.

Soon we found her, she was leading a small pack of wolves, we landed close by, Arya ran to Nymeria, hugging her neck. I came closer and said: "Let me try something Arya." I connected them both with the Familiar Spell from the Potter world. Once the connection was made, I copied the Familiar Storage on her.

I told her: "Think of taking Nymeria into a special room. It is like a space where my dragons live when I am traveling. Alright! Now think of releasing her back out here. Arya, they don't mind staying in there, but not day after day, it is a safe place to birth their young and keep them there for the first weeks. If you concentrate you can talk to her in your mind. Try it, it is a very special feeling."

Arya gasped: "I heard her! She is happy I came back for her and she and her pack are hungry." I threw big chunks of meat to the wolves and an extra big one to Nymeria.

Arya said: "You are not really a bad guy aren't you?" I sighed: "Some lessons are meant to be learned the hard way little one. We can't shield the ones we love all the time, they won't learn the lessons, and fall into the traps they failed to recognize. Like Sansa and her prince charming… me. Let's go back."

Did that make sense to her? Does it make sense to me? Meh, I'll think of something better to say next time. Trying to do the Wise Man act looking like a snotty brat isn't working. Although I am quite fond of my crown. I wear it every day now. Yes, call me vain, I don't give a shit. It looked good in the mirror.

Xxxxx

In the Throne room, in front of my Small Council and Nobles, I created twelve chairs, and summoned my witches, The Greengrass sisters, the Patil twins, Tracey Davis, Fay Dunbar, and Lavender Brown.

Each released her dragon and took a seat. I could summon ten this level, and I am getting everyone from the Potter-verse.

Summon Companion

State Name and Age

Sirius Black age 14

Confirm Y / N?

Hah! He is going to be pissed at getting so young again. I pressed Y and Sirius appeared, dressed as a… pureblood wizard. He looked at me and complained: "Bloody fourteen? Where is the fun in that?

Grinning, I Copy Wizarding Magic, Master Level at him, with Translating Magic I taught him the Common, High Valyrian, and the Old Tongue, in one go. I led him to a chair and said: "Take your time processing it Padfoot."

Well, our side was a bit crowded. It did shut the Nobles up, the last few days they were muttering that they were ruled by little children.

I started: "As you can see, there are more like me, and believe me when I say that each one is smarter than all the Maesters put together. So don't think of us as little kids, it will not end well if you do.

The gods placed us in this world with a task, and we are going to make sure it is done on time.

Come between us and the task…"

I glared at the Iron Born and told him: "Tell Greyjoy to learn to pay the Golden price, or I will take the Iron Price from him and ALL the Nobles on those islands. This is the only warning, I have no need for a bunch of useless robbers and rapists.

The next item is to prepare for a very long and harsh winter. It will start in the year 300 and last a long time until the Winter King is dealt with. Tell the farmers to plant crops that can be preserved for a long time.

The debt to the Iron Bank will be paid by me. That will not mean you were not responsible for that debt. You let my father and mother go even crazier than the mad King. Six million Dragons in debt in fourteen years, and nobody raised a voice?

Anyway, remember the faces of all these girls in front of you, they are all my wives, yes, wives, not maids or whores."

Crap! I heard Arya gasp. Sansa and Margaery sheered and did a fist-pump. I forgot those three. Astoria interrupted: "Not the little ones, Ladies Arya, Sansa, and Margaery are too young to marry. They have to wait until they are fifteen. Once married, they become one of us, like Lady Lyanna. So think this through first girls."

Daphne said: "There are always going to be two of us remaining in Westeros. The others will travel the world to solve conflicts and destroy Demons."

Tracey said: "Hello, I am Lady Tracey… Is it Baratheon? Ah yes, Baratheon. Call me Lady Tracey. Lady Baratheon will become too confusing. I am the first to stay here, together with Lady Lyanna. After four months, two others will take our place.

We will reform the small council gradually to the ruling government of Westeros. The days a King can play with this country as a little kid are over.

Laws have to be made. There are already some good laws in place, like the one against slavery. We will provide books about economics and accounting among others.

Lady Olenna, don't roll your eyes. The worlds we came from were on your level of civilization two thousand years ago. We reached the moon with our technology and science while your people here are still running around with swords after eight thousand years."

Xxxxx

Sirius got his private tent after he bonded with a dragon egg. While I was catching up with Sirius, Astoria took the three kids apart with the wives: "Margaery, Sansa, and Arya let me show you what our life is going to be like. We travel worlds, some worlds are very much the same as this one. Sit down around this bowl, I am going to put some memories from the previous world for you to see."

The memories started with the modern world, a compilation of the Potter-verses, the train, Knight bus, London. Then a skinny dip in the pool, Arya was blushing when she saw little naked Arya play with… a dark-haired boy? Astoria explained: "Our husband takes a body over in each world and merges with it. In this one, he was a small folk boy from the Riverlands. Here he is the King of Westeros.

The scene changed to the sandpit and the kids brushing the dragons, and them flying on the dragons.

Sansa gasped: "They dared to fly on them? I was not afraid of them?"

Astoria said: "No we took you in our home when you were seven years old, Arya too, your mother didn't have much influence on you."

The next memories were the night activities of me with the wives. From the first and second Westeros worlds. Daphne explained to them: "To marry our husband means to share him. We also love each other, the magic will make sure of that. So be prepared to have sex with him and us, if you really want to marry him.

It also means that a part of you will travel to other worlds. You see, those on the bed are still in that world, but a part of them are us here."

Arya said: "To travel the worlds I have to marry that bastard? That is so unfair!" Lyanna laughed: "Wait until you are older little wolf, and you don't have to marry him, only if you love him."

Arya held her hands before her eyes when Astoria showed Obara and Tyene getting kinky. Sansa blushed but did not look away, Margaery's eyes were shining, ready to sign up for the Job.

Xxxxx

I sat on a couch in the room when they came out the pensive, the wives were grinning at me, Margaery said: "This is the life for me! I want it. How do I marry you?" Sansa nodded: "Me too. I even want to ride the dragons."

I held my hands up and said: "Margaery is five and ten, Sansa is tree and ten, the little brat is one and ten. Wait until next year to decide Margaery. Sansa, hold until you are five and ten before you make up your mind."

I looked at everyone: "Next week we are looking for Daenerys and her stallion. Now, however, we are going to dungeon dive. Astoria, you are level 100, take half of the wives with you, I take the kids and the rest. Girls, we are going to speed level."

We tried to enter the Zombie Dungeon, then I remembered… the fucking thing is blocked! How the fuck am I going to get them to level 100 without the Dungeons?

I said: "Girls we are fucked."