The talk of the town
"No, no, no, no... It's worse than when I didn't publish the spring poem on the cover," Rory said, pacing in the living room and holding her head on her hands.
"I can say it's mine. It will create a diversion and cover you for a while," Lorelai raised her eyebrows. "I already put on a couple pounds. So everyone is going to buy it. Bonus, I can eat all I want without any judgement or body shaming." She smirked and started moving towards the window, after glimpsing a movement outside on their front lawn. Of course, Babette was going to be the first one to reach the house.
"Mom..." Rory protested.
Lorelai continued the mockery to distract her. "But I think Luke has to go. He is gonna break, man. The second people say the word 'baby'. Under all that flanel, he is a softie." Sneakily, she checked all the windows downstairs and drew the curtains. "So I say we kill him and bury in the backyard to go on with our plan. We'll have to find another place to eat, but that's what google is for, ha!" She said on her way back from the kitchen, after making sure the back door was locked before Babbete could get there.
Usually, Lorelai and Rory always left the house unlocked in Stars Hollow. It was a safe place to live. The crime rate was below zero, as Taylor always praised in town meetings. The only thing to worry about was one of the peculiar townspeople entering unannounced. Today, however, that was exactly what they wanted to prevent.
"How long?" Rory suddenly asked.
"To go full Criminal Minds and murder Luke?"
"No! For the welcoming people of our friendly town get here," Rory snorted. "Although, I might add, I'm feeling a bit concerned about your recent obsession with crime shows."
"Hey, that's all on Luke. It's the only thing the man agrees to watch without a fight. And it's not like I had you here these last years to outnumber him!" Lorelai widened her eyes and tightened her body, stunned by the sight, through the curtains, of more shadows gathering outside. Miss Patty and Kirk had already joined Babette and Morey in the prying inspection of the Gilmore house. A noise revealed one of them attempting to open the back door.
"Did you hear that?" Rory left her miserable state and was ready to investigate.
"I'm sure it's just Paul Anka" Lorelai waved, trying not to freak out Rory. Then, she grabbed the girl's shoulders and slightly pushed her in the direction of the stairs. She instinctively lowered her voice to keep it casual and smoothly get them far from the commotion on the other side of the front door. "Why don't we continue this conversation upstairs, huh? We can have facials and enjoy that fancy big bathroom Luke got mommy to make up for his terrible taste in TV shows. It's the perfect way to relax after this stressful morning."
A little reluctant, Rory followed her lead. "But don't you have to go back to wor..."
The doorbell interrupted the rest of the sentence, announcing the unwanted visitors. Rory looked at Lorelai completely frightened and just obeyed as her mother gestured some kind of crazy military secret operation command to keep moving upstairs.
From her bedroom window, Lorelai saw when Taylor and even Gipsy arrived, joining the group. All of them just walking around the house and looking for any clues about the new gossip of the town. Or waiting for an opportunity to corner one the residents and get the facts straight from the source. She kept it cool and shut the curtains fast, turning to Rory.
"Well, How about I take a day off and we start a "knocked up movie marathon"? I think the classic from the 80's, Look Who's Talking, is the best choice, given your situation. It provides a clear image of the moment of conception - not that you need more information," She scoffed. "Plus, we can hear the voice of Bruce Willis as a spermatozoid slash baby and there is a lot of young John Travolta before Hairspray to ease the eye. I just need to call the Inn and..."
"You can go. It's fine." Rory finally spoke, powerless.
"Are you sure? There are two crazy sequels of this movie and even a TV show with two entire seasons. We"ll have enough material to talk about until it's time you enter the delivery room cursing," Lorelai tried once more to lighten the mood.
"I'm a big girl. In about six months, I'll be responsible for a helpless and tiny human being. I can handle the Stars Hollow's mob. It' not like they have torches and pitchforks. So all I need is to lay low and they will leave eventually..." Rory flinched. "Right?!"
"Definitely!" Lorelai reassured with a forced smile, trying to maintain a confident face while a bunch of pink and blue ribbon bows crossed her mind. She remembered the break-up with Luke a long time ago. The whole town ran mad picking sides to support. There was even a plan to divide the territory like Germany during the World War.
Granting Rory's wish, Lorelai arranged everything her daughter would need to isolate in a fortress of solitude and then got ready to leave the house. She stopped for a minute in the living room, fixed her outfit, put her sunglasses on and opened the door to face the agitated crowd of Stars Hollow standing on the porch.
Of course, she wasn't going to miss the opportunity to pretend to be a supermodel, rushing to the car, covering her face and screaming "No comments" as people asked questions. There was no need to be normal in a town maddened by a pregnancy rumor.
Surrounded by all kinds of junk food, some books and her laptop, Rory decided to get back to the task of returning the extra items stored in her room. She turned on the computer with a mission, but was quickly distracted by a notification on the corner of the screen saying 'Kirk is live on Facebook'.
Rory accepted his friend request on social media years ago, back when she was living in New York. She thought it would be a good way to have a small piece of Stars Hollow while she waited for her big break in the city. It was a decision she never regretted because everyday Kirk used to post a picture of a typical scene of her hometown. Sometimes a heated fight between Luke and Taylor in the middle of the street, or a bored crowd pretending to listen in the last town meeting. Just a simple photo and an enigmatic caption - which Rory would read again and again during the lonely nights in her Brooklyn apartment. It became a personal game to discover who was behind the phrase of the day. In general, she spent hours trying to figure it out, except in the few times the author was Lorelai or Luke. They were easy to guess, leaving her with spare time to look at the empty room and wonder about someone she missed in secret every now and then.
Almost five years. That's how long Rory has been following Kirk on social media and he never broadcasted something live before. Until today. Obviously, he found a subject worthy of the effort. Instigated by a journalistic curiosity, Rory clicked on the screen alert just in time to watch her mother on her best celebrity act running from paparazzi.
Afterwards, Taylor gave an interview to explain it was necessary to know which Lorelai had a bun in the oven because the town counsel wanted to decide who would play Mary in the Nativity scene this Christmas. The man seemed so heartfelt it almost convinced Rory. Almost!
There is no way things could get worse, Rory thought for a moment. But then Kirk started an online pool for people to vote and guess who was the new pregnant Gilmore girl. Somehow, there was even money involved in the whole thing. Most bets were on Lorelai, but Rory wasn't so far behind in the race.
It was unbelievable what Kirk could do with technology in his hands. The man has always been some kind of lunatic visionary. Once he tried to sell T-shirts stamped with town gossip. It didn't work. But now he had the resources to do way more and still make some extra cash on her expense.
"I'm going to demand a cut of everything you get, pal!" Rory raged to herself as she put the laptop and the phone on airplane mode to disconnect from the internet news. Discouraged to go online, she picked her favorite playlist and focused on writing at least one more chapter of the book. Her brain was sharp today and ideas were flying on the page. She finished almost three new chapters and entered the phase of her teenage years.
How Lorelai handled the first talk about puberty and hormones and the embarrassment of buying her first bra were already on paper. Soon, it would be time for the adventures of her first kiss, love and... Dean Forester. The one who fought so hard for her and yet seemed so scared of what she would say about him in the book. She put the laptop down and couldn't help but remember their abrupt encounter at Doose's market, after so many years.
Rory felt really bad when she realized how Dean was surprised to listen to her confessions about him. Apparently, he never knew any of that. Looking back, a sudden guilt took over her as she admitted that reaction was mostly because of her actions in the past. She took him for granted and let him believe he wasn't good enough. Now it was too late to do things better. Someone else had appreciated his love first.
"Roooooryyyy!" Lorelai's calling tune brought the writer back to reality. She got so caught up with work - and her own thoughts - that she didn't see time passing by. It was already 6 pm. Her mother came back from Dragonfly carrying food and good news about the world outside.
Lorelai reported that the cold weather of December dismissed almost every curious citizen from their house. Kirk was the only one still remaining. "He is live on Facebook and on Instagram to break the news directly from our porch. He says he has an obligation to update his followers everything about the, I quote, Pregnancy Scandal"
"Well, that's probably why people left. There's no point to stand in the cold at night if you can watch it in the comfort of your home, wearing pajamas, under a blanket. With such a high audience rate, Kirk will have a list of paying advertisers by tomorrow for the next broadcast," Rory replied, a little amused by the business prospect.
"We do have to take a bow for Kirk's entrepreneurship," Lorelai confirmed. "Now that we have our privacy back, or almost, how about we eat dinner on the couch before Luke gets home?"
They both headed downstairs to organize a food festival in front of the TV. The girls agreed on the movie choice for the night and set the plates on the living room coffee table. Lorelai waited until Rory sat down on the couch with a giant portion of macaroni & cheese to move on with the conversation.
"So, how is it going with the book?"
"Today was a good day! I think Norman Mailer's spirit took over my body or something. I didn't even stop for a nap." Rory replied, happy to see her mother was truly on board with the book project.
"WOW! So I address myself to Mr. Mailer or Ms. Gilmore right now?"
"You can talk with Rory now. But tomorrow I may try to invoke Joseph Mitchel to keep the good work going"
"And how far are you in the storyline?"
"Sweet 16," Rory answered, revealing a distraught face.
"Oh! Fun!" Lorelai studied her expression and continued. "Why do I feel a grey cloud over your head?"
"You know... looking back, you remember the good memories, but you also revisit all the mistakes along the way... And it's hard to see things you wish you done differently. This is the worst part of non-fiction: you've got to face the facts"
"Sorry, hon. That's life. We all screw up from time to time..." Lorelai paused for a short breath. "...And we hurt people in the process. But you can try to understand the mistakes you made in the past and not repeat them in the future. Like a warning from young Rory to ol..." Her daughter gave her an annoyed look. "... to Rory of the future."
"I've got to pay for it this time, huh?" Rory blurted.
"Sorry... What? I think I miss the first part of the conversation going on inside your head."
"Nothing. Just a piece of advice someone gave me," Rory mumbled, still ruminating Dean's words a month ago.
"Okay... As I was saying. For example, last time I was upset with my life, I gave Luke an ultimatum, rushed and went to bed with your father, married your father and then got a divorce in less than one year. This time around I got unsettled about my life, but I didn't call Christopher. Because 2006 Lorelai warned me that it was not the best way to deal with the situation."
"Yeah! You went all Reese Witherspoon and tried to go Wild walking the Pacific Crest Trail alone. Not the best option for a woman three months pregnant."
"Hey, hey. No Reese. I am a Wild purist." Lorelai looked insulted at her daughter and continued. "I hang out with the book crew, young lady! This is why I found my own path without hiking. I got my answers in a quest for coffee. My true essence, young Skywalker." She placed one hand on her chest and smiled at Rory.
The mother-daughter moment was abruptly interrupted by Luke barging in the house.
"I can't believe this. You have 10 seconds to hit the road Kirk or I swear to God." The man shouted, in his worst mood, without even acknowledging Lorelai and Rory sitting on the couch.
The Gilmore girls looked at each other in excitement, completely lured by the chance to watch a demonstration of Stars Hollow's finest hustle.
"Ten, nine... I'm not kidding, Kirk!" Luke grabbed a bucket and started filling it with ice and cold water. "Eight, seven, six," he continued counting towards the front door. Both Lorelai and Rory giggling on his heels. "Three, two, one. Last warning!"
Luke openned the door and then splashed the cold water and threw the bucket on Kirk, yelling. "Get a life!"
Howling and shivering, Kirk finally abandoned his watch on the porch and ran away from the Gilmore house.
"Oh! You are our hero!" Both Lorelai and Rory delivered their best girly voices and goofy eyes to the tough guy.
Luke grunted, as usual, uncomfortable by the silly 'thank you' act. "I've gotta go back to the diner."