Side Effects
A/N: Holy smokes, thank you so much for all of the love you guys! Honestly reading all of your reviews made my day and I'm so happy you guys are here for this. Happy holidays today if you are celebrating and lol maybe possibly don't read the end of this chapter within the company of your family. You've been warned.
"Are you ready?"
Bonnie inhaled a deep breath as she stared straight ahead, seatbelt still on as she sat on the passenger side of Caroline's Ford Fiesta—her heartbeat tripling and palms sweating before she finally nodded in the blonde's direction, though she knew she wasn't ready at all.
Caroline tried to offer an encouraging smile—as encouraging as she could be, anyway—while the two slowly got out of the car and stared up at the bungalow styled house before them, that Bonnie and Enzo had purchased just last year in Mystic Falls.
Bonnie swallowed hard as she dug for her keys in her coat pocket and Caroline hugged the armful of boxes she retrieved from the backseat of her car when they made it to the door.
It'd been two weeks since the wedding and Bonnie had been staying at Stefan and Caroline's home since then, unable to bring herself to finally do this because once she did she knew it was officially over between she and Enzo.
He'd been calling her for days—since the night of the wedding, in fact—and she finally decided to answer two days ago but much to Enzo's dismay, it was to inform him she'd be coming over today to get the last of her things. She'd found her own condo in Mystic Falls and Caroline was going to come with her to help her pack.
He was speechless and taken aback, she could tell over the line, and the only thing he said in response was "Okay. I'll make sure I won't be around to get in your way."
Bonnie thanked him for that because after all, this entire thing was already hard enough. The last thing she needed was Enzo hanging around the home that they had built together, while she removed every trace of herself from it, once and for all.
When the front door swung open, Bonnie inhaled the familiar scent of his woodsy cologne and she felt dizzy with anxiousness as she stepped into the foyer and pursed her lips together at the feeling of Caroline's arm snaking over her shoulder and offering an encouraging squeeze at they stared into the modern home together.
The surrealism of it had overtaken them both.
Caroline forged a smile on her pink lips as she grabbed her hand and led her upstairs to the second floor, where the master bedroom and walk-in closet were both located.
Bonnie ignored the feeling surging in her stomach as she walked into their bedroom and she immediately got to work, as she opened a box and began by opening the dresser drawers on her side and removed all of belongings while Caroline headed for the closet and began to pack her shoes.
They sat in amicable silence for a half hour or so—the only sound in the house the rustling of items as they cleared everything out and put it into boxes to bring to Bonnie's new condo.
Bonnie was only awakened from her thoughts that were racing a mile a minute when she heard Caroline clear her throat from across the room. She looked up and met her translucent blue eyes.
"Have you heard from Damon?" she asked and Bonnie exhaled before shaking her head, continuing to arrange her things perfectly, though her hands were shaking.
"I haven't. And that's a good thing, I think… It's probably for the best," she said and Caroline licked her teeth in response while Bonnie continued on. "He probably feels just as guilty about this as I do."
"Are you kidding? You broke off your engagement and walked away from your own wedding because of him… And now, you're moving. If anything, he's probably having a champagne toast to himself," Caroline snorted to which Bonnie didn't answer that. "I'm sorry, I just… I know Damon. He's capable of doing bad things to good people for no reason but you… I'm still so confused on how this all happened, Bon."
"Trust me, I am too," she answered, not looking up, though she felt Caroline's eyes burning holes through her shirt. "I never knew he felt that way about me… And I guess I didn't know I felt that way about him until it happened…" she trailed off and finally looked up, meeting the blonde's curious stare. "It's just all so strange."
"But it must mean something, Bonnie," Caroline eased as the brunette pressed her lips shut. "Look, I'm pissed off at you both if I'm honest… Enzo is my friend too, and if you were having second thoughts, you could've talked to him about it before things got to this point but…"
"But?"
"It's obvious it wasn't just Enzo that made you unsure. It was Damon obviously."
"And what do you suggest I do, Caroline?
What I did was wrong—I really, really fucked up. And it would only push the dagger deeper if I came right out and admitted it; that yeah maybe, all this time, I was attracted to Damon, in all his confusing, moody, asshole glory.. And all it took was him finally making a move for me to realize it and that's terrifying because I thought I would spend the rest of my life with Enzo… I thought he was the love of my life; my soulmate—"
"And maybe he still is, Bonnie. Maybe this was all one big fat mistake that you needed to make to realize that you don't want to be without him," Caroline said evenly as Bonnie tucked a strand behind her ear. "Or maybe he's not… Maybe he was the right guy, just not the right guy for you—and that's okay… Maybe you fell in love with the perception of what you thought was perfection. Maybe it felt so right because you wanted it to be; you wanted him to be The One. But he's not… Should you have gone about it differently? Of course, Bonnie, but… you're only human. And you're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to want more."
Bonnie remained silent at that because she knew Caroline was right; she loved Enzo, she knew that she did, but there was something that had always been missing from their relationship, though she did her best to try to disguise it with her happiness even as the feeling had never really gone away in all of the three years they were together.
She loved him. She loved the way that he loved her, completely and unconditionally, and it never really bothered her that she and Enzo were comfortable because it made her feel safe and stable within his company and in their relationship. Being with Enzo never challenged her—it was as if he had just fallen into her lap and she never questioned it, because she thought perhaps love could be like that; effortless, systematic, and easy.
Loving him was easy—as easy as your favorite song when you let it play on repeat and you knew every word, every octave to hit, as you sang along to every word, over and over again.
But her favorite song had soon become one of predictability, she realized, and though she'd successfully warded those thoughts out of her mind when they dined at one of their favorite restaurants over their favorite glass of champagne, the feeling hit her every once in a while, when was alone or drunk—or both—that maybe she was settling. They both were, in a way. And though Enzo had been the most romantic lover she'd ever had, romance didn't automatically equal passion. They were on a routine, despite how much of the world they saw and how many new books they read together.
He'd swept her off her feet, the very first night she'd met him, and she expected to remain enchanted, but she hadn't. And it wasn't until Damon's hand met her jaw did she feel the thing she'd been wanting—yearning—to feel all these years with Enzo, though he never quite got there.
It was passion; unmistakable, unequivocal, raw desire, that made her tingle from her toes, all the way up to every stand on her head.
It made her feel like she was speeding on a motorcycle with her hands off the grips and her arms in the air. It made her want to act out of character from the Bonnie that everybody thought that they knew. The threat of danger, the possibility of getting caught, it all thrilled her—Damon was the was the storm and the night he kissed her, she wanted to be engulfed in his clouds; caught out in his rain.
It made her feel like every nerve ending in her body was on fire, and then some, when he lifted her into his strong arms, biceps bulging around her, and pushed her up against the wall in the Boarding House living room—devouring every drop of alcohol that stained her lips, and getting her drunker on his kiss than she ever could have been on any bottle of whiskey.
He was as sweet as a bottle of her favorite Vin Santo Rosso, as she remembered the curve of his mouth against hers—Damon's piquant tongue and greedy hands all over her in an instant, when he stripped her down to her red lace bra and she grabbed his hair by the fistful just to catch a moment to breathe, because it felt like all of the air had escaped from her lungs.
Her skin felt hot just thinking about it—thinking about him—and she swallowed hard as Caroline continued to observe her formally brown skin now a shade of pink at the cheeks, while she continued to pack, but addressed the monstrous elephant in the room now that she knew exactly what Bonnie was thinking about, just by the look on her face.
"At the risk of misjudging our priorities I have to know… how was it?"
Bonnie looked up and furrowed her brows as she rubbed her neck and shook her head dumbly.
"How was what?"
"How was the sex?" Caroline asked bluntly and Bonnie scoffed as she shook her head and folded her arms though Caroline's eyes remained inquisitive. "I've avoided asking you for two weeks because this whole thing was very fresh. But now that we are literally moving you out of you and Enzo's place I considered it safe to add the discussion to the Okay To Talk About Pile—"
"Care, no—I'm not talking about how Damon was in bed as we literally are in the bedroom of my ex-fiancé. That's just wrong."
"Oh honey, you are way past wrong and on the way to Hell," Caroline answered and Bonnie snorted at that. "You were just thinking about Damon, with me sitting here. Don't get self-righteous on me now."
"Fine, I thought about it. For a split second," she admitted and Caroline rolled her eyes, "doesn't mean I wanted to talk about."
In all the years she and Damon had been friends from childhood neither one of them had ever crossed that line in their friendship so she honestly could not have anticipated what it would have been like the second they did. The night before her wedding, she saw a different side to Damon and try as she might, because it made her feel wrong, she couldn't get him out of her head and the two week cooling period since their night together had done nothing but make her want to see him more.
It made her want to make the same mistake all over again.
"I think you should call him," Caroline announced and Bonnie's green eyes nearly bugged out of her head.
"Come again? You think I should call Damon? And say what?"
"That you want to see him, to talk in person," Caroline responded as if Bonnie's question was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard, though the brunette was still staring at her as if she had grown five extra heads. "Look, it's not like you gotta start seeing the guy five minutes after breaking your engagement to Enzo but you should probably clear the air. Just so you're both on the same page as far as what happened, and whether or not you're going to tell Enzo about it… and if it's going to happen again—"
"Are you high? Of course we are not telling Enzo and we are also not doing it again," Bonnie huffed with arms folded across her sweater. "Unless you're okay with your brother in law being admitted into the ICU."
"I wouldn't be opposed. I love Damon, he's like family to me although he's a selfish asshole if I've ever seen one. But… there is a hint—a very small, tiny, microscopic hint—of selflessness when it comes to you Bonnie. There always has been, so… talk to him. At least as a friend, I… don't know that it would do him any good to lose you."
Bonnie didn't say anything to that as she went back to packing.
XXXXXX
"I got the last two boxes out the truck from the shipment," Stefan announced, as he placed the cases of beer on the shiny black marble countertop and dusted off his hands on his Levi's as Damon stood behind the bar. "Where do you want everything?"
"I'll take those, thank you," Damon said as Stefan shifted everything over and he watched on as his brother began to tear open the boxes of local craft beer and line them up into the refrigerator before Stefan slid onto a chair and grabbed then clipboard to mark down the inventory.
This had been their routine, every Thursday afternoon, for the past five years, and Stefan would never tell Damon that he looked forward to it, and it wasn't just because it was a chance to leave the kids at home with a baby sitter for a few hours.
But it was because he loved this place, Damon's bar, named Black Crow, that sat right in the middle of the town next to their favorite place to eat growing up, the Mystic Grill. When Damon and Stefan's father Giuseppe retired with his wife and Sarah's mother, Gail, to Italy, he left all three of his kids an inheritance that would make a financial advisor's mouth water, and made each of them promise that they would put the money to good use.
So far, so good, as Damon chose to invest some, and open up his own bar with the rest. And he wasn't doing too bad, seeing as it had become a regular point of interest to the locals and a hotspot for the tourists who read Yelp reviews about "the smoking hot blue-eyed owner, who could do a spread for Giorgio Armani in GQ if he wanted to."
Their words, not his.
He also cut a hefty, but anonymous, check to Mystic Falls general hospital to aid with things such as cancer treatment, research and prevention. It had been a place that he spent a lot of time in as a kid when his mother Lily passed away and he hoped his wealth could save somebody else, even if he hadn't been so lucky.
Bonnie was the only person he'd ever told about that donation.
Stefan had used a portion of his money to buy a home for his family, completely remodel to the Mystic Falls fire department that he worked for, and open a school for gifted underprivileged children, in which Caroline was an elementary school teacher at.
And Sarah, their baby sister, was an art major in the masters photography program at Duke, so she hadn't quite gotten around to deciding what to do with her money yet, but she wanted to open up a studio in downtown Mystic Falls and lend a philanthropic hand to the towns music and art programs for kids and teenagers.
As far Giuseppe was concerned, he'd never have to leave the Italian countryside, so long as his kids all had their shit together, and lucky for him, they were all doing the best they could.
So while Stefan was never officially employed by Damon he had always seen it as his duty to make sure things were in order, and his brother liked the company, so it was just as easy as that.
"Did you order more of that pink lemonade vodka? Seems like it's flying off the shelf," Stefan noted as he checked the inventory and Damon nodded as he rearranged a few bottles.
"Sure did. The kids all seem to love it. Who would have known Donovan knew what the hell he was talking about," Damon said and Stefan snorted at he looked up.
"You're not still giving Matt a hard time, are you? Just because—"
"Because he's courting our little sister? Absolutely," Damon admitted and Stefan groaned. "Of all the guys in this town that Sarah could've set her sights on, she chose my bartender. With one brain cell."
"If you hate him so much why does he still work here?"
"Have you seen those baby blues? He rakes in the tips like nobody's business. I just don't want him anywhere near our sister with them," Damon smiled sweetly and Stefan rolled his eyes at that before folding both hands on the bar.
"She's an adult and she's happy. We have no say," he said diplomatically and Damon snorted at that as he continued to pack beer. "Speaking of happiness… please don't let me leave here without reminding me that I need to buy Caroline a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream on my way home," he said and Damon scoffed at that though Stefan's eyes remained dead serious.
"What did you do this time? Forget to wipe down the oven at a perfect 90 degree angle?"
"I did nothing. She's just gonna exhausted today. Apparently she's helping Bonnie move out of she and Enzo's house," Stefan eased and Damon's breezy expression became tense while his brother continued on. "So I'm guessing this is real—she got her own condo and is officially moving out. I'm just so surprised this actually happened," Stefan mused and Damon swallowed hard but nodded as he busied himself with another box.
"Yeah me too," he said shortly and Stefan sighed as he sat up straighter and shook his head.
"I mean, did she talk to you at all? Caroline says Bonnie won't even open to her about it—"
"No idea," Damon said curtly as his jaw locked. "I haven't talked to Bon-Bon in weeks so beats me why she got cold feet."
Before Stefan could respond to that they heard the front door to the bar open and Damon was just about to inform the patron they were not open yet until he looked up and saw a pair of bloodshot brown eyes staring straight back at him, as a forced smile crossed his bearded mouth and he slid onto the chair at the bar next to Stefan, placing his head straight down on the counter top.
Stefan's eyes widened as he glanced at Damon who looked like he had just seen a ghost and cleared his throat and fully stood to his feet dusting off his hands.
"Hey Enzo, what are you doing here?" Damon asked softly and the man finally sat up in his seat, pulling off his black jacket and taking out his wallet, to which he placed a 100 dollar bill on the counter top and offered Damon a bitter grin.
"You, mate, are going to get me very, very, very drunk to distract me away from the fact that the love of my life is moving out of the home we bought together, right now, and it's actually over. Bonnie and I are over," Enzo said as he combed his beard with his fingers and Stefan frowned before placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it softly. "And for the life of me, I still don't know what I did wrong. Did we move too fast? Did I come on too strong? Did it not matter what I did because she found someone else?"
Stefan instantly shook his head at that and was the first to speak up.
"You know that didn't happen, that isn't like her," Stefan eased and Damon remained silent as he watched the devastation in Enzo's eyes continuing to build while he ticked his jaw.
"That's almost worse," he laughed humorlessly, "I almost wish she had just left me for somebody else because if she didn't… it just means it's over, for no reason other than she fell out of love with me. While I am completely still in love with her."
There was silence between the three for a moment and Damon finally turned around and grabbed three shot glasses and a bottle of tequila off of the top shelf. He picked up Enzo's $100 dollar bill off of the counter top and handed it back to him, with a soft look in his blue eyes.
"Tonight's on the house," he said and Enzo offered a small smile at that as he stuffed the money back into his pocket and he and Stefan watched Damon as he poured three shots. "It's the least I can do."
"Especially because I fucked your fiancé and I'm the reason why she left you," he added to the sentence in his head.
The three men took the shot back and Enzo immediately reached for the glass to pour himself another as Damon and Stefan watched on in silence.
"She won't even talk to me," Enzo said airily, as the ring on his finger tapped against the countertop. "I mean, if she was having cold feet I was fine with that, we could have postponed everything. I would have waited for her," he admitted nodding his head. "But nothing; no conversation, no reason, no closure… it's like I'm meant to just put the pieces together and join the dots but she hasn't given me anything. She doesn't answer my text messages or phone calls… The first I heard from her was to inform me that she was moving out. And I couldn't say anything other than I would stay out of her way."
Damon inhaled a deep breath as his felt his brother's eyes on him—studying him for a long moment— before he cleared his throat and said quite possibly the dumbest thing he ever could have said, and Damon was absolutely counting all of the times his younger brother had been as high as a kite.
"Maybe Damon can speak to her for you," Stefan offered and Damon's forehead immediately wrinkled as his eyes shot and and glared at Stefan's. "I mean, Bonnie's his best friend, he knows her better than anyone. Even Caroline."
"Clearly I don't, Stefan," Damon spat back hotly before he shook his head and leveled out his tone. "I mean, she didn't tell me she was moving out or getting her own place… I-I don't know anything."
"But she'll open up to you," Enzo finally chimed in, his voice sad, as he dragged his finger around the rim of the shot, and looked up to meet Damon's incredulous stare. "Try as she might to bust your chops but Bonnie adores you, Damon… she holds you in high regard and your opinion matters to her… I just—I need one talk, just for the sake of my sanity. If she can give me closure—if you can do that for me—I will let it go. I will let her go forever if it's what she wants and I won't be of any trouble to her, I swear... But I need your help… I'm desperate. I've never felt so desperate."
Damon's lips pressed shut and he glanced over at Stefan who was staring at him in clear agreement with Enzo's words and he exhaled.
Enzo wanted closure and he would finally let it go. It was as simple as that. And if he got Enzo the closure he needed maybe he wouldn't have to feel so guilty about the fact that he'd dreamt about Bonnie every single night for the past two weeks or that he imagined what it would be like to be with her—inside of her—again, despite the fact that she had just broken his best friend's heart, and was stomping on his. If Enzo got closure, he could move on with his life and perhaps Damon wouldn't feel like such a shitty person for tearing apart an almost-marriage that he felt was doomed from the start, anyway.
Enzo just needed one conversation. And he would finally be free.
Before Damon could answer however, his phone on the counter began ringing and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw the name flash across the screen and he snatched it up quickly, though he was sure Stefan had seen it as well, while Enzo had taken to abandoning his shot glass and just drinking straight from the shot bottle.
Stefan shot him a curious glance and Damon pressed the answer button as he placed the phone to his ear and vacated from the back of the bar towards the office where he could close the door shut and have this conversation in private.
As if that didn't make him even more suspicious.
"Bon?" He asked, as the air in his lungs suddenly felt tight and his hands turned a ghostly white as he listened for her voice on the other end of the receiver to prove that this was real—and the universe wasn't playing mind tricks with his head.
"Hi," she said, almost breathlessly, and about thirty seconds of heavy silence passed between them before she spoke again, this time a bit more firmly. "How have you been?"
"Awful," he responded honestly, as he slicked back his dark hair and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can you relate?"
"I can, yeah," she eased and he sat down at his desk though his hands were fidgeting and his throat was itching with anticipation as to what she was going to say next. He truthfully didn't even know where to start. "Which is why I called you, I think we should talk, in person."
"Okay," he nodded as he bit his lip. "When? And where?"
"How about tonight? You can come by my condo, I just moved," she said.
"Fine… should I take the address down or…"
"I'll text it to you," she answered and Damon felt his heartbeat racing at the fact that this was finally it—he and Bonnie were going to have a talk and either it would go really well or really badly, depending on if they were on the same page about this or not.
Damon knew what he wanted—and it was her. But he knew that he couldn't have her until Enzo was out of the picture. And he wasn't sure what Bonnie wanted—if anything at all—but he knew that he was terrified to find out.
"So I'll see you tonight? Around 8?" She added and Damon nodded before clearing this throat and gripping his iPhone even tighter.
"8 is fine… See you soon then."
"See you soon," she hung up and he tossed the phone onto the table—as he let out the breath he'd been holding and he prepared himself for what he would say when he walked back out there to face Enzo and Stefan, now that his brother knew Bonnie had called not less than ten minutes after Damon had said he hadn't heard from her.
Horrific timing, if you asked him.
But he couldn't deny that the sound of her voice—strong but timid, as it echoed in his head—rattled him right down to his core as he walked out of the office and back towards the bar.
He stuffed his phone and his hands into his jeans pockets and Enzo looked up from the bottle of Avìon long enough to shoot Damon an optimistic glance as Stefan remained silent but patient to hear what it was that Bonnie had to say.
"So was she open to it?" Enzo asked immediately as Damon ticked his jaw. "Stefan said that was Bonnie—did she say anything about me? Did she agree to talk?"
Damon smoothed his hair back and offered a tight lipped smile as he tried to figure out the best way to dance himself around this without appearing too obvious.
"She's getting there," he eased and Enzo's stare remained hopeful as Damon pursed his lips. "She just needs time. But I'm sure she'll eventually be able to give you all of the answers that you need," Damon said diplomatically and Enzo sighed as he placed the bottle to his lips again and took another swig before he set it back down and stood to his feet, car keys jingling in hand.
"Very well then. I'll just remain a sitting duck until she's ready I suppose," he said as he reached for his coat and Damon circled around the bar to where Enzo was standing.
"Hey, where are you going? It'd be terribly irresponsible if I didn't drive you after letting you drink half that bottle by yourself," Damon said and Enzo smiled drunkenly as he patted Damon on the chest and looked him in the eye.
"Damon Salvatore—a stand up man if I've ever met one… there's a reason why I'm so honored to call you my best friend."
Damon didn't respond to that as he searched his own pockets for the keys to his Chevy Camaro and nodded at Stefan who seemed like he had something to say, but decided to save it for another time.
"I'll watch the bar until Matt gets here," the younger Salvatore settled for.
"Thank you. Oh and uh, don't forget to get Caroline that ice cream."
Stefan nodded precariously at that and watched on as Damon and Enzo exited the bar.
Something just wasn't fucking right and he knew it.
XXXXX
Bonnie glanced around the living room of her brand new condo in downtown Mystic Falls, as she had unpacked most of her personal effects and her newly delivered furniture had been delivered and installed over the past few days while she was still staying with Stefan and Caroline.
She rummaged through the boxes in the living room for her university diploma—the one that made her certified to become an Occult Studies professor at Whitmore College, just like her Grams was, and she glanced up at the clock on the wall when she saw that it was 7:55 and Damon would be here in just a few minutes.
Not that she needed her diplomas up to impress him—he was the last person to care about that. But she needed to keep herself busy so she wasn't thinking about the fact that she felt like she could actually shit bricks just from how nervous she was to finally see him after everything that had transpired.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when the door bell rang but she stood up calmly, tucking her long black hair behind her ears and smoothing her palms over the front of her jeans as she walked towards the entrance and let out a deep breath before her hand touched the door knob and twisted it open.
"Hi."
"Hey."
And there he was.
In all his moody, broody, blue-eyed glory.
With flowers. Red roses, actually, and Bonnie gave him a look of surprise before she extended the door to allow him enough space to walk in and she felt her hands shaking as she locked the door behind him and offered a warm but skittish smile, to which Damon reacted with the same.
"Here, I'll take your coat and put those in water," she finally said and he complied as he slipped off his signature, staple, black leather jacket and she did her best not to look at the familiar bulge of his biceps when he took it off, though her body immediately ached to be wrapped up into those arms once again.
She really needed to get a grip.
Damon followed Bonnie into the kitchen and she filled a vase with water as he handed her the bouquet that she still couldn't believe he got for her, and she placed it on the kitchen table. They headed back into the living room and his eyes roamed around the place appreciatively before he looked back towards her with a smug smile.
"Not bad, Bennett. Definitely a lot better than I imagined, given your previous design choices," he quipped and her brows furrowed as he spun around and stopped before her. "What, you don't remember your childhood bedroom? Or your teenage bedroom? Or your dorm at Whitmore?"
Bonnie scoffed at that as she folded her arms and tilted her head in response.
"What about them?"
"Besides the fact that they were awful? In the 5th grade you had that weird Furby obsession so those damn dolls were everywhere, in the 10th grade, you had your walls lined with Nelly posters, in college you decided you decided you were 'emo,' or so you thought, and that one was probably the worst—"
"Oh, please. This, coming from the guy who went through three separate identity crises. The first one, in which you wanted to be like George Michael so you pierced your ear yourself and got a mullet. The next was Eminem, when you buzzed your head and dyed it platinum blonde, and then the next when you wanted to look like Mark McGrath, so you waxed your eyebrows and frosted your tips," Bonnie replied and Damon laughed at that in fond memory of all of his terrible fashion choices because really, who the hell did he think he was?
Damon sat down on the couch as he watched her, long black hair cascading down her shoulders as she set out two glasses for wine and uncorked a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and he couldn't help but trace his greedy eyes over the curves that he now knew all too well.
Her puckered lips were painted with a nude lipstick and her nail polish was a freshly painted jet black, as he continued to study everything about her until she sat down and offered him a "cheers" once they both finally had their wine glasses in hand.
Damon took a sip of his own and licked his lips before his big baby blue eyes met hers. Bonnie still seemed to be having a hard time looking into them directly.
"So that's why you never saw me as more of a friend all of those years, huh? Because I had frosted tips?" he joked.
Bonnie's stare finally met his and she swallowed hard at that as a heavy silence passed between the two, so quiet you could hear a pin drop before she finally offered a response.
"So, we are discussing this… no preamble, no small talk," she said almost to herself and Damon offered a flippant shrug though his heart was racing all the while as he tried to keep a calm and collected demeanor.
Though he felt anything but.
"Why not? I know you don't like to waste time or beat around the bush, Bon-Bon, so give it to me straight… why did you call me today? I know it wasn't for another impromptu booty call... So I am guessing this was to let me down easy; make it clear that what happened will never, ever happen again."
Bonnie noted the humor mixed with slight bitterness in his tone as she watched him take another sip of wine and she wrapped her hands tighter around her own glass to keep them from shaking.
What the fuck.
Since when did being around Damon make her so nervous? She'd known this guy when he had baby teeth. And when he didn't have abs.
She took a sip and set the glass down before she cleared her throat.
"I did call you over to clear the air about… what happened," she admitted as he listened on and she dug her manicured toes into the rug. "We were both pretty drunk and things went a bit too far and… I'm sorry for putting you in that position—one where you would betray Enzo's trust," she said and he cocked a brow as she went on. "I know that we've been best friends forever but… he's your friend too. A-And I shouldn't have… come onto you like that. Or at all because Elena is my best friend. I'm sorry," she repeated and Damon scratched his chin before offering a response.
"Bonnie, it wasn't your fault."
"I mean, sure it was, Damon. I'm the one who was engaged. I'm the one who was getting married in less than 24 hours. I'm the one who took an Uber to the boarding house, when I was already drunk from my bachelorette party instead of going to bed like everyone else did, I mean—what did I think would happen? That we'd knit scarves?" She laughed humorlessly and he furrowed his brow. "Let's face it, Damon. Once everyone finds out what I did, I'll be labeled a cheating, lying slut. And rightfully so—"
"I wouldn't let anybody say that about you without having to answer to me," Damon said seriously and Bonnie looked up as the water threatened to fill her eyes but she held it in and listened. "Look—I may not have been engaged to be married but I take responsibility for it too. And I'm sorry that I ruined things… And you called all of this off because of me. Because I know how happy you were and you're right— Enzo's my friend so it's hard to face him when I just…" he stopped as Bonnie finally looked directly into his eyes and he felt his stomach twist into knots at what he might say—what he wanted to say—but he stopped himself. "I've thought about you a lot, over the last two weeks," he admitted. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me; if you'd ever speak to me again—"
"Damon," she said as she reached forward and touched his hand—immediate sparks of electricity running through her fingers—sparks she'd never even felt until that night—and they both remained speechless at the mutual moment; her palm pressed to his skin and her thumb eventually running soft and slow circles up and down his veins as he breathed—barely—and Bonnie finally pulled back and looked into his eyes. "You're my best friend, and yeah we screwed up majorly but that doesn't mean I don't want you in my life," she said and he tilted his head. "I just don't what happens next."
Damon placed his glass of wine down and moved in a bit closer—so close actually, they were now just about an arms length away on the sofa and Bonnie sucked in a bout of the air they shared, desperate just to feel something within her lungs.
Because when she was in his proximity, she could barely breathe.
His palm met the side of her cheek and she didn't look away as his thumb drew small circles along her jaw and his eyes studied each inch of her heart-shaped face, before dropping his hand onto her leg.
Her body pulsed as he crawled his fingers along her thigh.
"What do you want to happen next?" He asked simply and Bonnie wasn't sure she was able to say it aloud as she watched Damon's pearly white teeth trapping his bottom lip in an iron grip.
She shook her head and looked down, finally removing herself away from his grasps.
"Damon, we can't. We shouldn't."
"We shouldn't. But we could," he replied and Bonnie didn't answer that. "You're single now, Bonnie. It's not like this is still cheating."
"But it's still wrong," she scoffed, folding her arms over her sweater. "I just dumped Enzo two weeks ago on our wedding day… I officially moved out today. It's too soon and with you, it's… a lot more complicated than me being single, Damon. You've been my best friend, for years—"
"Which means I know you better than anyone Bonnie—more than Caroline and more than Elena. It's always been me. I know you inside and out, pun intended. And the Bonnie I know goes for it when she wants something—"
"But it's never been this, Damon," she answered with gritted teeth as she stood to her feet. "This whole me and you having sex thing has never happened; it's never even been a thought to either of us, ever. So why now? Why the night before my wedding? Why after all of these years of you being in love with Elena do you now suddenly want this?"
"Is that it, Bennett?" He finally stood to his feet as well, instantly towering over her and she only got angrier because she had to look up at him while he was talking. "You think I jumped into bed with you because I just wanted to get laid?"
"You ask that as if you have a stellar track record Damon, of not wanting only that."
"It wasn't like that with you!" he exclaimed and she laughed incredulously as his eyes narrowed. "Have you ever stopped to realize that maybe I had sex with you because you are smart, and beautiful, and sexy, and fun as hell to be around?"
Bonnie took in a deep breath at that and blinked at him furiously, as the words spilled from his mouth and only huffed at that though it made her everything tingle at him admitting that he found her sexy.
"You… didn't answer my question about Elena."
"What about her?"
"Did you feel this way about me while you were with her? Did you actually love her?"
"Of course I loved her Bonnie—I was in love with her for a very long time, yes," he acknowledged and she swallowed hard. "But just like you, things change, okay? Elena and I changed—we were just never on the same page anymore and I didn't see a future with her because we weren't compatible… She never did anything wrong, or hurt me, we just… weren't a match. And I know you can relate, because that's how you feel about you and Enzo, isn't?"
"This isn't about me and Enzo right now, Damon—"
"Isn't it, Bonnie?" he asked and she inhaled a sharp breath when he stepped in closer—towering over her effortlessly, as he looked into her olive eyes and searched them for the truth. "You want me to feel guilty about Elena because you feel guilty about Enzo and fine, I feel like a dick because I've known since you got engaged to him when I was with her that I was jealous, okay? I feel like an asshole because I saw Enzo today, he stopped by my bar and he was a total wreck—and he's counting on me to 'fix this' between you two and I don't want to do that. I'm not going to do that," he revealed and Bonnie's brows lifted as she listened on. "I won't because I know this isn't all in my head. I know that you feel something for me too, and maybe that makes you an asshole too, Bonnie, but the difference is, is that I just don't care. I don't care if I'm the bad guy. I don't care if I'm the villain. I don't fucking care if I'm some jerk who stole his best friend's girl because at the end of the day I want what I want and I'm not going to apologize about it."
There was a long silence between the two and Bonnie looked down at her feet to try to formulate a response, but she just couldn't as a million thoughts swirled inside of her head though she was struggling to even comprehend the long-winded monologue Damon went on, just now.
The fact that he had feelings for her. The fact that he'd known since she got engaged. The fact that he was face to face with Enzo just this afternoon and didn't tell her until just now.
The fact that he didn't care who they hurt or how badly, just as long as he got what he wanted in the end.
Bonnie had been standing there so quietly for so long, she was snapped out of her thoughts moments later when she saw Damon no longer in front of her, but now reaching for his leather jacket on the couch and slipping his arms through it as he turned his back towards her, deciding to no longer torture himself with the silence.
As he headed for the door she finally spoke up to stop him, as he turned around and eyed her brazenly.
"Damon, wait."
She walked back up to him slowly, but bravely, as she folded her hands before her and stopped just short of his frame, forcing herself to look him dead in the eyes.
"I'm sorry I accused you of just sleeping with me for the hell of it… That wasn't fair," she said and he licked his teeth before offering a response in a voice so small, she strained to hear it, although he was standing right in front of her.
"Did you sleep with me just for the hell of it? Is that why you thought that?"
She shook her head no.
"No. No to both," she said and she watched as he breathed deep, seemingly in relief before she went on. "I… acknowledge that I may harbor some pent-up feelings for you, Damon, consciously or unconsciously—"
"Are you trying to say you have a crush on me?" he asked and Bonnie sneered when she saw the hint of a smile meeting his eyes though it hadn't met the curve of his lips. "Because this is the wordiest way I have ever been told by someone that they might like me, and I'm not saying it isn't rad or anything but—"
"Shut up Damon," she spat and this time he smiled, biting his lips. "And for the record, I'm not saying that I have a 'crush' on you, I'm just saying it's… not entirely impossible that I could—"
"Uh huh—"
"But I need time to figure it out… And figure out what the hell I'm gonna do about Enzo—"
"Yep—"
"Why are you moving in closer?" she suddenly asked and he wordlessly gave her, her answer when his lips easily crashed against hers and Bonnie cursed herself how easily—how effortlessly—his mouth formed against hers, as he knelt down just a little bit to meet her and she found herself impulsively on her tippy toes, just the same.
And it was electric—just as it was the first time they kissed—with hands, lips, tongues, everything reacting to one another, and the taste of the freshly opened bottle of wine lingering, through the slow and achingly carnal embrace.
They were tripping over boxes and Damon was stepping out of his boots as her back landed against the wall, and he continued to kiss her, like both of their lives depended on it—as if they would both cease to exist without this erotic heat between them, burning them up, straight from the inside out.
Bonnie was already unbuckling his belt and he was tugging at her shirt, as he easily stripped it over her head and continued to devour her at the mouth while she pulled the leather through the loops and tossed it to the ground, where it landed atop one of her boxes.
Bonnie moaned when both hands met her face and his lips journeyed from her own, down the side of her neck, to in-between her breasts that still remained in her black bra. She stopped him long enough to take his t-shirt off and he didn't miss a beat once it was discarded to the ground and their mouths were in sync, once more.
He easily lifted all 5'2 of her into his arms and walked them into Bonnie's bedroom, as he carefully placed her onto the bed and she pulled him by the wrist on top of her. His pants were gone and so were hers in just a matter of seconds and before she knew it Damon's head was buried between her thighs, as his tongue tested each fold beyond her underwear and she shivered reflexively as he took his time.
She hadn't always been a fan of this part, she remembered, as Bonnie recounted all of the lovers that she'd had over the years—6, to be exact—and she always found some bad excuse for a guy not go down on her, simply because she had convinced herself she could never really be into that.
The few times that she had tried, it was bad—with her first boyfriend fumbling around and asking her tons of questions about her vagina, as if she'd been in there before and was capable of doing this herself.
Bless his heart, Jeremy Gilbert, for at least trying.
She then got weirdly embarrassed about anyone being down there by the time she dated the one guy down the hall from her dorm, Jesse, that she refused to even let him go near it, unless it was penetration only.
Fast-forward to Enzo, who may have come the closest to knowing what he was doing, but still no cigar, as he waited for cues that she was enjoying it, and maybe possibly coming, which it just didn't happen because she couldn't get out of her own head, and she settled for foreplay just being a no-go forever, for her.
Caroline nearly flipped out about that when she told her and sent her about 10 different cunnilingus e-Books the next day with homework assignments and pop quizzes.
She didn't have the heart to tell her she was fine with just orgasming 30% of the time at this point because she was in love. And sometimes love meant having a less-than-completely fulfilling sex life.
She probably should've demanded more, but who cared? She was happy, usually. And sex just wasn't that big of a deal to her.
Until she discovered sex with Damon.
Because all it took was one time for her to feel all of the things she hadn't been feeling—do all of the things she had been too afraid to do—and she wasn't sure if it was because of the level of comfort between them, the fact that he was fantastic in bed, or all of the above but Damon had awakened something inside of her that night and truth be told, she'd spent weeks thinking about it, although she chastised herself for still being super fucking horny, while she was supposed to be heartbroken.
While she was supposed to be mourning over the fact that she wasn't on her now canceled honeymoon on some beach in Belize, being served cocktails with the fresh pages of book in hand and Enzo whispering sweet nothings in her ear, she was fantasizing about Damon and planning every which way she could replicate the things he made her feel while she was alone with her vibrator though she knew she was better off with the real thing.
And now, here she was, with the real thing, as her chest puffed up and down, sharp moans escaped her hollow mouth, and her hand gripped his wild black hair as he continued to service her so efficiently, she was quite sure his face should have been soaked, because she felt like she was absolutely dripping.
She had never been a talker, either. She liked sex to be relatively silent, save for an instruction here or there, but with Damon she found herself speaking more, about what she liked—what she really loved—and what else she wanted him to do.
And for someone like him—she could admit it, her friend had been a ho in his hay-day—she was sure that he had heard it all before. But the way that he looked at her—the way that he smiled and acknowledged everything she said, as if it were the best and most brilliant idea he'd ever heard, really turned her on.
So much so, it was only about two minutes of Damon's tongue methodically swirling around between her legs before she riding the waves of absolute bliss and euphoria and she let out a laugh—a true, happy throaty laugh, the first time she had really laughed in weeks— and he laughed too, staring at her like she was made of gold.
Damon wiped his mouth with the back of his palm and she bit her lip before finally sitting up, and looking back him too, as be smoothed back he now wild black hair.
She silently moved her back against the bedpost and pulled him in by the hand to meet her—watching in gentle awe as her fingers crawled across his palm and the hairs on his forearm stood on end before he looked into her eyes.
It was truly a conscious moment—in the sea of ecstasy as they took a moment to watch one another—truly see each other—before Damon leaned forward and gently placed his lips to hers; her arms immediately wrapping around his shoulders as they kissed over and over again, in such a hungry but sensual way, it did nothing to decipher what this all meant for Bonnie as she would have been better off believing that this was just sex, though she knew it simply wasn't true.
Friends didn't kiss you like they were hungry—starving—to have the taste of your mouth against theirs, as she tasted herself on Damon's mouth and it only made her want to be closer to him in this moment.
And somehow close still wasn't enough.
She ran her hand down between his legs and felt that he was still hard—rock solid, in fact—and without a word or a second thought she eased her down onto the mattress while he repositioned himself above her; their skin hot with anticipation as he finally unhooked her bra tossed it away, leaving her exposed and waiting for whatever was going to happen next.
She looked up at him, for just a second, and Damon felt mesmerized by her, as the hints of gold in her eyes glimmered beneath the dimmed bedroom lights and her black hair fanned out over the spread of fluffy white pillows, like a raven flitting through fresh winter snow.
He ran his palm slowly, torturously, up her neck and to her mouth where her teeth purposely nipped at his thumb while she looked into his eyes.
He scooped her into his arms and turned her over, so her back was towards him and her ass was on full display, much to desire and dismay as he had to stop himself from burying himself in it—the curves and dimples enough to get him off alone, if he were honest.
He pushed her hips far down against the bed as her feet remained tightly together and he eased his middle and pointer finger inside of her just to feel how hot she was and the answer was boiling, as his hand slicked along her skin and Bonnie whimpered at the torture against her sheets as he worked her for what felt like an hour to her, but it was merely seconds.
"Fuck," he said in admiration beneath his breath at how wet she already was and she smiled with satisfaction as one hand gripped the back of her neck and held her in place tightly as she brimmed with suspense until finally, he decided to put her out of her misery.
She gripped onto the 800-thread count sheets as Damon pushed deeply inside of her and her lips automatically emitted a breathy moan, while her eyes shut and her body ignited immediately at the friction.
He was hitting the exact spot that she needed him to, metrically and steadily, and she felt like she was going to burst as her muscles tightened and vision blurred, at the sudden wave of a sensory and nerve overload.
His face was low enough to kiss her shoulder and neck, so he did, while the grips of his hands kept her body to the mattress, continuing the drill into her, slowly working up to a maddening pace.
And still, she wanted more.
"Harder," she demanded and he complied, as he felt soft beads of sweat forming on his brows and he pushed even deeper inside of her than he had been already, while she clawed at her sheets.
His hand smoothed up the back of her neck and into her hair, forming a tight fistful with his grip as he dipped the other one beneath her, rubbing her core in circles as she panted loudly and asked him to keep doing that, as he quickly realized it was driving her insane and she was near her end.
She was all but screaming his name and it wasn't long before she felt herself coming, again and again, as her body shuddered and toes curled, with her words escaping into the mattress and Damon slowing his pumps down though he didn't completely stop. Though he was really, really ready, and it didn't help that Bonnie was pushing her hips backwards against him to assist the process, as just the sound of her skin smacking against his was enough to get him off.
And it did, a moment later.
He collapsed into the pillows beside her, as she rid the bed of the top sheet and pulled the comforter over their naked sticky bodies, and let out a long exhale, while Damon continued reeling.
How the fuck did this even happen again?
There wasn't a word between the two for a minute or so before Bonnie finally cleared her throat and turned to face him, with a certain girlish charm to her, and it was hard to imagine this was the same girl who just said some of the things he heard her say into the pillows.
"You can… stay if you don't have anywhere you need to be," she said delicately and Damon furrowed his brows playfully, his hand stroked her jaw.
"Where would I need to be?"
"I don't know. You're a busy guy, you own a bar… and stuff."
"And stuff," he echoed and Bonnie snorted once she realized how silly it sounded.
A quiet yawn escaped her lips but her eyes remained open, though he could tell she was slowly fading. He inched in a bit closer.
"I don't have anywhere I need to be," he whispered and she smiled plainly, before turning her body to face the opposing window and her frame pressed against his, as she wrapped his arms around her waist and he settled his head against her shoulder.
He softly gave her a kiss at the nape of her neck.
"Good. Because I'm gonna need those world-famous pancakes in the morning."
"Fine."
"And we cannot," she yawned, "do this again, without setting some ground rules," she said and he rolled his eyes but complied with a nod.
"Okay. Whatever you say, Bennett."
There was silence after that, and he held her tighter against his own body, and in seconds he heard Bonnie snoring, just as she always did since they were kids, and she tried to deny that it had always been a habit of hers. He remained awake for just a few more minutes, mindlessly playing with her hair before he was finally close to sleep as well, but not before saying the one thing he'd wanted to get off of his chest all night, though he knew this would have all happened differently—or not at all—had he said it and ruined everything.
"I love you," he whispered onto her ear and Bonnie continued to snore softly as he let out a deep breath and shut his eyes again.
This time, drifting off, in a warm, comfortable, complicated slumber.
A/N: So is it starting to make more sense why Bonnie cheated? I'm never an advocate for infidelity so this is absolutely not a defense… but it's clear she was feeling unfulfilled in her relationship to Enzo and it's led her to her finding some sort of weird, confusing, eye opening relationship with Damon that she's never had before. But how long before this friends with benefits situations blows the efffff up and do we think Stefan is privy to what is going on? And will he tell Enzo? This is a fun one to write. Reviews are kind. Thank you all for reading!