Look What You Made Me Do

Bonnie shut her eyes as she felt Damon's index finger drawing slow, lazy circles along her naked back, as they lay in bed that night. She placed her hands to his bare chest and listened to his breathing change when her palms landed against his skin—a brimming fire slowly building beyond the surface as he inched into her closer and his lips met her temple. His kiss was soft, and she instantly felt like warm butter, quickly disintegrating beneath his touch the longer they just laid here, sharing this unspoken connection.

He had no idea what she was going to say after this—after his confession of falling for her when he was just 18 years old and now here he was, 12 years later, in all his spinelessness, begging her to feel the same.

He knew he waited too long. Because this entire thing could've been avoided—she could've been his years ago if he'd just opened his fucking mouth and didn't wait until the night before she was set to walk down the aisle to marry his best friend.

He fucked up kissing her that night. He knew that much. And though he had no idea what Bonnie Bennett was going to say now, as she remained tangled with his limbs, sheets wrapped around her naked body—the one he kissed, touched, treasured, and did awe-inspiring things to just moments before— he knew he was scared shitless. He knew that this could officially be the end, despite how good it felt because Bonnie was a good person. And he knew it was only a matter of time before her guilt began to chip away at her armor, despite how strong she wanted to be.

This was twelve years in the making; over an entire decade of him wanting her—pining for her—whilst she didn't even fucking know it. She'd literally had no clue.

It was twelve years of him pretending he was happy for her when she met someone new; giving her sound relationship advice and trying his best to be friends with any guy she was interested in just because he wanted her to be happy. He had never given her a clue, not even an inkling, that he felt this way about her—like he couldn't breathe unless she was near—and it shocked her that she hadn't realized it herself, but then again, how could she?

He was her best friend. He was the guy she called in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep and he'd talk with her on the phone about anything and nothing at all, until they were both snoring into the receiver. He was the guy who came by her dorm when she started college with her favorite coffee or cold pizza to help her study for Astrophysics because he took it his freshman year and aced with flying colors, despite always ditching class. He was the guy who taught her to drive stick shift on his Chevy Camaro—the car he wouldn't even let Stefan touch—and he still somehow didn't completely hate her when she accelerated on the gas a little too hard and hit a tree, destroying his bumper.

Damon had been there for everything in her life; her first boyfriend, her first heartbreak, her sweet sixteen, her senior prom. He was there for all her achievements as well as anytime things got a little bit scary.

Like the one time in her freshman year, when some guys from a neighboring rival college, Greenlawn University, crashed a party at Whitmore's top frat house during homecoming weekend, and Bonnie found herself in a terrifying situation with a senior who went there, named Ben McKittrick. He dropped something into her beer and the second Bonnie went to the bathroom, Damon happened to overhear the scumbag bragging about it to his buddies what he was going to do to her, the second the roofie kicked in.

Needless to say, none of that happened.

Damon broke that guy's jaw and proceeded to go find Bonnie, who was dizzy and borderline unconscious within minutes and carried her back to her dorm in his arms, where slept on the couch and he kept a watchful eye over her the entire night and following morning.

She still never found a way to thank him for that.

Damon told her it was unnecessary, as he reminded her that she was the first friend he called when his mom got moved to hospice and Bonnie immediately asked her mom to bring her to the hospital so she could be there with Damon.

At 8 years old, she stayed up with him all night, just talking, to distract him from it all but it was too late. And his mother died the very next day.

They had seen each other at their darkest moments, handled each other's grief, and helped one another get back up again.

Bonnie opened her eyes and his were staring straight back at her as she felt his fingers slowly stop; his hands planted on her naked waist and he drew her in closer, until they were nose to nose and he inhaled a deep breath when Bonnie was suddenly on top of him, chest pressed to his. Their lips met again in a gentle but searing kiss that rattled him down his core, as one of his hands slowly dragged up the side of her body and made it to her black hair, that had fallen all over him despite how many times he pushed it out of the way.

He could barely be bothered with it, anyway. Not when he had the feeling of her smooth legs entangled with his, and her curvy hips grinding on top of him, as they continued to make out for the next few minutes—or hours, he wasn't sure, because with Bonnie he was constantly losing track of time.

She felt the same with him.

It scared her—surprised her, too—that this had been the one thing she never planned on with Damon Salvatore. She didn't plan on having sex with him the night before she was supposed to get married to someone else. She didn't count on having all of these weird, confusing, comforting feelings when she realized he really did like her, and it hadn't been just a one night stand to him, despite how easily she knew Damon could separate feelings from sex when he didn't actually care. She watched him do it for years, every time he and Elena broke up.

And she certainly didn't think that she would be here, again, after all that had happened tonight with Enzo, in the aftermath of yet another loss of self-control with Damon, as he pinned her down to her bed and made love to her so madly, it felt like they were escaping something apocalyptic.

He fucked her like the world—his world—was ending.

She remembered the pure carnal desire she experienced just an hour ago when his teeth drove into her neck and her nails dug into his back, leaving deep red scratches down his porcelain skin as he groaned with pleasure which excited her even more. His kiss was deadly, yet she couldn't get enough of it, when his grip pierced into her hips so tightly, he left bruises and she bucked on top of him so roughly, it would have torn a more fragile man in half.

But he was far from it.

His eyes begged for more—as did his mouth—and she complied, as she sucked down his tongue when it danced with hers and her teeth bit his bottom lip so hard, it drew blood. The warm coppery taste sat on his puffy mouth as he tried to lick it away but she was there first, swallowing him whole and Damon used that as his opportunity to grab a fistful of her raven hair to draw her in even closer, because he couldn't get enough of her.

He just couldn't control how much he wanted her.

Her soft breasts bounced in front of him as he gripped them firmly and twisted at her nipples; eliciting a sharp moan coupled with a grin on her lips when he finally flicked them with his tongue. Her tone legs were wrapped around him, as her hand tightly gripped him at the throat—almost choking him—while his hands were anywhere and everywhere inside of her. He savored the feeling of her heat against him as she got off one—or five— more times and he got even harder knowing that he had given exactly her what she wanted even though she was too shy to ask.

Rough, filthy, passionate sex.

The kind that gave into your animalistic urges, awakened your senses, and made your toes curl and cheeks flush just thinking about it.

Bonnie had been so used to being labeled a conservative girl. She went to church with her family on Sunday's growing up, she never wore skirts that were too short or clothes that were too tight, and she hardly ever swore because she was taught it wasn't lady-like to have a nasty tongue.

But with Damon, he'd opened up this portal to another side of her; the side that found pain and pleasure in how fucked up this all was—how horrible it made them both, that they could even think to enjoy what was happening, though it would completely tear Enzo and Elena apart.

Being with Damon roused a deep, merciless, and unapologetic fire inside of her, as she bared her bones and her entire soul to him each night; completely unafraid of judgment, disapproval, or criticism for just wanting to be as crazy and as free as he made her feel.

Because whileDamon adored her, but he also left her wild.

She pinned his hands to the bed and glanced at his bruised wrists—the ones that were still red from his own belt being used to bound them together—and she brought them to her lips and slowly kissed them. He watched as her mouth formed softly against his skin and eventually began to make their way down his body—crossing his neck, chest, and abdomen as Damon exhaled and shut his eyes when he felt Bonnie eventually decide to take him into her mouth.

He placed an encouraging hand on the back of her head as it bobbed up and down; her mouth slowly forming a cyclone around him and he bit his lip in pleasure at the harder he got and the more of him she decided to take down into her throat. She was only using one hand and her tongue but that was enough, as it was only a few minutes or so later when he felt himself erupt into her mouth and Bonnie swallowed it down easily; the tremors still coursing through his body as she licked up every drop and moved to collapse onto her back in the pillows beside him but he stopped her.

Bonnie gave him a curious glance as he motioned for her to come here with his finger and she gasped when she felt Damon's strong arms pull her up until her body was on top of his. He sucked on his index and without hesitation dipped deep into her—a soft but satisfied moan escaping her lips as he looked directly into her eyes while he slid it inside of her and out for a minute or so.

Bonnie ticked her jaw when his free hand met her face and pinched her chin. She was already warm and sopping after just one finger and he was majorly aroused by that.

Why not continue to up the ante?

"More?" he asked simply, and she quickly nodded as he added his middle finger.

She held onto him tighter, bruising his shoulders as he worked. He slid his pointer and middle in and out swiftly until he felt her open a little more around him and he suggested another finger as she nodded eagerly and complied. He worked his way up to four with her consent, inching his palm deeper inside of her the wetter she got as his thumb remained out, rubbing her fold.

She began sucking on his neck—mostly just to muffle the screams escaping her lips—until finally he couldn't resist tasting her.

He removed his hand and inched his frame beneath hers until his mouth was in between her legs and Bonnie immediately grabbed the headboard for support. He licked her long, steady, and torturously, while she closed her eyes and muttered expletives beneath her breath, Damon continuing to go to work like his life depended on it.

In some way it did, he decided.

Because he wasn't happy until Bonnie was happy. None of this was good enough until she said it was.

And by the sounds she was emitting—the husky breaths, the airy but steady moans—he assumed he finally was. He had always been good enough for her, and he was a fool for doubting that for twelve years; for ignoring the way she made his heart beat and hands sweat like nobody else could, just by flashing him a simple smile or an even serious glare.

He continued to devour her, as Bonnie's slickness stained his face and he felt victorious when she finally trembled in a way that had grown all too familiar to him this past month.

"Jesus, Damon," was all he heard her say as he buried his tongue even deeper inside of her and she seemed to be gushing into his mouth as he lapped her up, holding tightly onto her waist as he forced her to ride it out completely out until there was nothing left.

He continued for a moment longer until she was giggling—full blown laughing, actually—because she told him it tickled but he didn't stop, as she had to all but rip her body off his mouth. Damon instantly rolled on top of her to continue—but this time with his hands as Bonnie smiled and shrieked when he scratched his fingers at any sensitive part of her body and he did his best to shield himself from Bonnie, who was now doing the same and attempting to tickle him to death.

This continued on for about ten minutes until they both tired themselves out; Bonnie slowly slipping back into his embrace as he hugged his arms around her tightly and she breathed as she felt his mouth against her ear while they laid there together again, this time in comfortable silence before she spoke up.

"I think I need to tell Enzo and Elena the truth," she said, and he didn't respond as his grip remained around her, so she cleared her throat and continued. "I know you think that's a terrible idea and it's going to be really, really bad for a while, because they'll hate us both. Everyone will but—"

"Will you still want this, even if they do?" He asked simply and she turned around to face him—his eyes were deep and serious with the question and Bonnie couldn't say that she blamed him for even asking.

She hadn't been the most vocal about what her feelings for him meant; she'd mostly only expressed herself through actions and though touching her thrilled him a lot, he wanted to hear her say the words he needed to hear so he could finally stop doubting that this was real—that it was all happening—and no matter what happened next she would still want this. She would still want him, despite how heavy, or bad the consequences were.

"Damon…"

"It's a simple yes or a no," he responded, and she swallowed hard. "When your best friend and ex-fiancé hate you—when they tell everyone about what we did and expose us as the villains that we are, will you still want this? Because you know what I want. I know what I want. And it's you. Every single version, every single chapter, whether it's wrong or right. I'm not turning back now, Bonnie; not ever. But I can only do that if you're in, too. If you… feel the same way," Damon added and Bonnie felt her body drawn in a little closer by his hand, as his eyes remained hungry for an answer and she struggled to give him one. "If you're not into this for the long haul, let me know now. At least let me down easy."

Was she ready to be hated by one of her best friends and the former love of her life, for the rest of her life, just to be with Damon? This moody, broody, sarcastic asshole who also proved to be protecting and warm and kind, despite what everyone thought they knew him to be?

She had never considered a future with Damon. She hadn't even considered the present with Damon. Yet here she was, ready to ask herself if she was in fact ready for all the things he predicted because to him it didn't matter either way. Whether he had to love her in public or in secret he was going to, either way. Now it was just up to Bonnie to decide how much of this she was willing to commit to. Because up until now, the thrill of it was what excited her—what made her yearn for him so badly when she knew that she shouldn't; when she knew she was better off telling him to go home, get lost, and never come back here to see her again.

But perhaps there was something more.

Like the way every hair on her body stood on head and her heart stopped, anytime he looked at her. Or the way he made her skin shudder when he spoke softly into her ear, just before kissing her neck and driving her absolutely wild with the warm touch of his commanding hands.

She formally believed Enzo was the most romantic man she had ever been with and maybe that was still true—he had done an incredible job of giving her high expectations and she would forever be grateful for that because she knew her worth, despite her shortcomings lately, and she knew she deserved to be with someone who showered her in affection and couldn't get enough of her, just as much as she couldn't get enough of him.

But maybe that was Damon, she realized. Because for every expectation Enzo has taught her, Damon was slowly surpassing them and bringing her to all new heights every single day. Because while Enzo was the human equivalent of fine dining—a fucking five course meal at the most beautiful restaurant you could've imagined—Damon was the type of food that warmed her soul. Rich, filling, and healing, in a mental, spiritual, and physical sense.

She knew exactly what she wanted from him. She just hadn't let herself admit it, all this time.

"Yes," she finally answered, and his heart stopped when he looked up to see Bonnie's emerald like eyes staring back into his—he needed to make sure he heard her correctly. "I… will still want this—and you—when all is said and done. But we need to do it the right way. And that includes being honest. Even if it blows up in both of our faces."

Damon nodded at that and Bonnie exhaled softly as his fingers crawled across her cheek and she watched a soft smile form on his lips. She couldn't help but smile as well at that, because she had made him happy. And the feeling of uneasiness immediately disappeared within his stomach because this was it; the start of their journey, and once this final obstacle was out of the way, no one could stop them.

He would fight like hell to keep her, even if it made him a pariah, because to him, Bonnie was worth it. She was his goddess; his Aphrodite, and after twelve years of feeling this way for her he knew he couldn't go back and not feel it. Not after he'd had her in every way imaginable—and then some—and there was still more to explore between them; like a real first date, once they didn't have to hide anymore and he was excited for that.

He was excited to be excited about life again. Bonnie Bennett brought him back to life.

And to him, there was no replaceable feeling.

XXXXX

"So, you're dating Damon Salvatore, is that what I'm hearing?" Caroline asked as Bonnie scoffed, pouring them both a glass of sangria as they sat in her living room a week later decorating Bonnie's Christmas tree on a Saturday night in.

"I'm not dating Damon. I mean, we haven't actually been on a date, yet, but… we want to try?" Bonnie guessed and Caroline bit back a smile as she heard the nervousness in Bonnie's tone. "I don't know, it's all still a blur and I'm trying to figure it out."

"Yeah, it's a blur because of all the freaky little sex you two have been having, he's got your mind in a fog," Caroline teased and Bonnie shook her head although a grin formed on her face and Caroline shot up with an accusatory finger. "You're blushing. Oh my God, Bonnie Sheila Bennett. You're as red as a tomato."

"It… is not that freaky…"

"You are all but five minutes away from building a sex dungeon and changing your names to Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele… Have you had the talk yet? About who's the dom and who's the submissive?"

"No one is the 'dom' or submissive… We are both equal."

"Did you tell him that when he was borderline fisting you— "

"Why did I even tell you anything?" Bonnie asked, as she pressed a hand to her warm cheek and felt that she was indeed on fire as Caroline continued to grill. "I knew you'd rub this in my face."

"Because I'm your best friend and I've waited years for this, Bonnie!"

"You've waited years for me to get fisted? Odd but okay."

"I've waited years for you to step out of your comfort zone," Caroline responded, and Bonnie inhaled. "I mean, sure. I didn't know it'd be Damon that could get you out of it, but it totally makes sense. You feel comfortable with him, because you know each other so well and in return… you're having mind-blowing sex. You're… fulfilled."

Bonnie licked her teeth at that because she knew it was true. She hadn't been afraid to experiment in bed with Damon because of how much history they had between them. They often would just talk for hours, as they laid in bed and while on the subject of sexual limitations, she realized she was a lot more open to certain things than she previously thought, when he asked her openly and candidly about it.

She and Enzo had never once talked about this.

She wasn't sure if it just wasn't his thing or he assumed it wasn't hers, but for the most part they kept sex pretty vanilla and straight forward. There were about three positions that they favorited and that was pretty much it as far as the experimentation went. That didn't mean the sex was bad, by any means. She enjoyed sleeping with Enzo and appreciated the time and effort he took with her, making sure she was happy and felt loved.

But that was nothing like this and she knew it.

Because with Damon, he had nearly tried everything—or wanted to—and though it was a bit intimidating at first realizing he was so much more sexually experienced than she was, despite the fact that there was a year age difference between them, he didn't make her feel inadequate because she hadn't yet done something before.

He simply suggested she try it with him, if she were comfortable enough to do so.

They talked about everything from foreplay to safe words—and had established a few just in case—and before she knew it, he had taken her into a sexual whirlwind that not only broadened her horizons but awakened her senses to an array of things she thought were myths and never truly knew existed.

And truth be told, she didn't even know her body could bend in some of the ways Damon bent her.

"I'm… happy," she admitted, before reaching forward for her glass and an olive from the tray of apps on the coffee table. "But it's not as easy as that…Damon and I still have ways to go."

"Indeed… I'm assuming you two had the talk about what you're going to do about Enzo and Elena?"

"We did," Bonnie eased, her face suddenly serious as Caroline listened on. "It's kind of why I invited you over tonight… I thought it'd be smart to have backup when I finally tell Elena what has going on with Damon and me. I… have a feeling she's not going to take it well. I know she says that she's moved on from Damon and their relationship is behind her but… they were on and off for almost a decade of our lives, Caroline. Him and her—that's how it's always been… it's how we thought it always would be."

Caroline scrunched her brows at that, and Bonnie looked down at the rug, glass clutched tightly in her hand before her friend spoke up and eased the silence.

"Do you think he still loves her?"

"I do, in his own way," she nodded looking down. "I mean, they've known each other all of their lives too and as much as I would like to pretend that Damon's a virgin and everything, we've done is brand spanking new to him I have to remind myself that— "

"Elena was there first," Caroline completed her thought and Bonnie glanced up. "Bonnie, you know there's nothing wrong with knowing that, right? Being someone's first love doesn't ensure you'll be their only one. Or last one. And I mean, she's gonna be pissed for sure, at least for a little while but… she and Damon didn't work out for a reason. That doesn't mean that neither one of them shouldn't ever move on with their lives and find happiness with someone else."

"I think she wants him to be happy, definitely… But she probably won't want him to be happy with me," Bonnie chewed her lip and looked up. "He was her first love, Caroline. Probably the only guy she's ever really loved and it's going to break her heart. I guess I'm just dreading coming clean to her about all of this… You know, we've never, ever fought about a guy before."

"And no one's gonna start now," Caroline said confidently as Bonnie breathed. "I'm going to make sure this is civil, as best as I can. No name-calling, no hair-pulling, no fighting. Just a simple, honest, and open discussion. You're both my best friends and I'm not going to let you two tear each other apart. Especially not over Damon," Bonnie nodded at that and Caroline looked at her watch before looking back up. "Do you know what time she's coming?"

"She said she was on her way," Bonnie replied, inhaling a deep breath. "I'm really nervous, Caroline."

"Consider this a baby step… Elena, for as bad as she may take it, will not take it any worse than Enzo," Caroline replied, and Bonnie nodded at that inevitable truth. "Have you and Damon set a timeline on that?"

"It changes, every day," she admitted, hands suddenly shaking as she thought about it and Caroline noticed. "I just figure I'll try to get this done with Elena first and then tackle that with him… He's going to flip his shit, Caroline. And rightfully so."

"Well, hopefully a night out with the guys right now will soften him up," Caroline said, recalling to the fact that Stefan had told her he was going out tonight for Guy's Night—Marcel's idea—to cheer Enzo up about Bonnie. Alaric and Damon, surprisingly, had gone too and she could only imagine what type of trouble they were all going to get into, once they had a few drinks in hand.

She also hoped that maybe this was the night that Enzo needed to move on from Bonnie's betrayal—even if he was unknowingly slinging drinks back with the betrayer.

"Damon's the designated driver so at least we don't have to worry about him getting drunk and saying the wrong thing," Bonnie replied, and Caroline nodded optimistically. "He didn't want to go but I told him he should be there to support him… He feels like a hypocrite, trying to get Enzo to move on and be happy even though I…" she stopped, and Caroline sat up to listen before Bonnie shook her head and swallowed her. "It's not Damon's fault I slept with him. It isn't. I made a choice."

"That's not what you were going to say," Caroline replied and Bonnie lifted a brow as she reached forward for a cracker and shoved it into her mouth as the blonde sat up and crossed her feet under her lap, sangria still in hand. "Does he know yet?"

"Does who know what?"

"Does Damon know you're falling in love with him?" she asked bluntly, and Bonnie lifted a brow as she sat up with a confused expression. "What? You can admit, Bon, I'm not judging. If anything, I think you two are kind of epic."

"I-I'm not in falling love with Damon," she replied shaking her head. "We're just… taking things slow and it is way too soon—"

"You've known him for close to thirty years, Bonnie."

"Yeah and I've known this side to him for what, a month? That's insane."

"You didn't know Enzo at all when you fell in love with him a month after meeting each other. What makes it so insane that you'd fall in love with your best friend, who you do know, inside and out?"

Bonnie breathed at that; instantly remembering just how quickly the British man had swept her off her feet, after meeting him for just one night.

She had just come off a disaster of a first date with Kai Parker and Enzo happened to be sitting at the table beside them, getting stood up by his college sweetheart, Maggie James.

When Kai walked out—something about being offended that this restaurant didn't offer pork rinds as an appetizer—Enzo let out a long sigh which caught Bonnie's attention as she remained flabbergasted at what had just occurred.

"I think he left you, love," the dark-haired stranger at the table next to hers said in a rich English accent and she shook her head in disbelief before she laughed—because why not at this point—and she tucked her black curls behind her ear.

"Yeah, I think he did."

"Don't fret—besides the fact that he was probably voted Most Likely to Tie a Woman Up and Stick Her in the Trunk of His Car, he doesn't seem like your type. If I had to guess, you'd be going for a bit more normal."

Bonnie smirked at that as she raised her wine to her red lips and took a sip—his charcoal eyes watched her the entire time.

"And is this what you do; come to restaurants alone and wait for blind dates to go bad so you can hit on the lonely girl who just got ditched on one?

"On the contrary, I'm being stood up once again by my flighty ex-girlfriend from university, just for old times' sake," he said, and she furrowed her brows as his grin remained charismatic. "But yeah—maybe it was for the better, so I could flirt with the gorgeous lonely girl at the table next to mine… Do you mind if I join you?"

Bonnie gestured towards the open seat that Kai once inhabited and she watched as the mystery man easily slid into place—his navy blue suit was paired with a skinny black tie and his dark hair was slicked back, in a classy but sexy kind of way.

She immediately noted the watch on his left hand, it was expensive, and she watched as he stroked his freshly shaven face with his thumb before offering her a smile.

She wasn't sure if it was the wine or not, but she felt drunk already.

He was pretty fucking hot.

"I'm Lorenzo St. John. My friends call me Enzo," he offered his hand and Bonnie shook it with a smile.

"I'm Bonnie Bennett. My friends call me Bonnie or Bennett."

Enzo laughed at that.

And the rest had been history. They spent the rest of the night talking over drinks and he wanted to know everything about her. She revealed that she was an adjunct professor currently, working towards her Doctorate in Occult Studies like her grandma, and she aspired to go full-time. She was transparent about the fact that this was the first date she'd been on in a month, but it was probably the most painful she'd been on in her life. And she vowed to never ever use a dating app again. She told him about her home life and her parents who were still together, but had moved to New York City after her dad retired because they were never really country folks—they came back to visit so frequently, though, so it never felt like they really left. Her Grams still lived in town.

In turn she found out he'd attended Oxford University and majored in Archaeological Science; he was currently working as a researcher at the Richmond County Laboratory and he'd most recently moved to Mystic Falls a few months ago from Boston, Massachusetts. He had dreams of opening his own museum one day and he was saving up his money to invest in one. He was an orphan, born in London and he survived through the system for 18 years—never really knowing his real mother or father, or why they had given him up. He only more recently discovered that he had family in Virginia after doing one of those DNA tests and it was the reason why he picked up and moved here—to connect with them and hopefully find out the truth about his birth parents, one day.

She remembered loving Enzo almost immediately. There was just something about him—his laugh, especially—that brought life into her and she had no problems telling him that she fell for him, after only about a month of dating.

He told her he'd fallen in love with too.

And looking back on it, she wondered if it was actually love that quickly, as they wasted very little time buying a home, moving in together, and getting engaged to be married, all within a short timeframe without really knowing each other's vices and bad habits.

They didn't get a chance to, as they traveled, nearly every month, and Bonnie only got to experience the good things with him when they were abroad—never hard or bad times. He opened her mind and brought her on a cultural, spiritual, whimsical adventure that resulted in a honeymoon phase that lasted nearly two years until she woke up one day and gradually started to come down from the high.

She still loved him, and she was grateful to know somebody like him; who had, had it so hard, and wasn't handed anything in his life, but he was still so open and so kind. He still had a huge heart and was able to make something of himself because of his quick wit and perseverance.

But she couldn't pretend that there weren't things that bothered her, the longer she thought about. Like the fact that he could be a little over-bearing at times; often checking up on her if he didn't hear from her for like an hour and it made her feel like she never really got a chance to miss him, because he was always just there—slowly starting to smother her, despite how often she made plans just to get away.

Sometimes she needed a break.

She also couldn't ignore the rare but volatile times when they did argue; usually when he didn't agree with her about her way of handling something, and he could be mean about it, while his words could leave bruises, as they shot like bullets off of his tongue.

He always apologized—less than an hour later, and they moved past it. It didn't happen often enough for it to raise any red flags but she made it a point to try to avoid confrontation as best as she could, because she didn't like to see that side of him and neither did he, he admitted. The snide, snobbish, arrogant asshole that he became during a fight wasn't the man she fell in love with and she knew it was better for the both of them when he didn't rear his ugly head.

He was protective of her and she understood why; he didn't grow up with a family to look after him, and his only friends were the other kids he'd met through foster homes. But she sometimes felt like he treated her like she was made of porcelain; like she was a fragile object who would break if he let her out of his sight for just one second and that was a far cry from the Bonnie who was a full-blooded fighter, never backing down or easing up even when she ought to.

But she still loved him; flaws and all, because she had hers too—like not thinking before she acted sometimes and being so hard-headed, she convinced herself that her skull was really made of stone—nobody was perfect. But as the days went on and they repeated the same mundane cycles—had the same routine over and over again—she craved to be enlightened. She was desperate just to feel like a living breathing human, and not someone's shiny new toy that had collected dust from sitting upon the top shelf. Enzo sophisticated her, she realized, but he also didn't excite her anymore.

They had the same conversations. The same plans. The same arguments. The same sex. He didn't seem to ache for her anymore, no matter what she did, until she slowly withdrew and stopped trying altogether. And one day finally, she knew that she loved him, but she wasn't in love with him anymore.

And by that point it was entirely too late to call things off. The wedding was slated to happen that month.

What she felt for Damon was different and truth be told she didn't know what it was but it stirred her bones, much more than Enzo had in three years and she couldn't understand why because there was nothing magical about him; he was the same 31 year old man that she'd known for her entire life.

The one she played video games with until 4 in the morning. The one she skipped rocks with down by the river when they were children. The one who knew all her deepest darkest secrets and promised to take them to the grave.

Still did.

The way they started, the relationship that they had now— it was all hidden in the dark; only alive in secret. But the fire for it still burned, as much as she tried to put it out, repeatedly, because it wasn't right in the way that she and Enzo were. She and Enzo had plans. They discussed a future. They had it all mapped out and they were running on schedule and a timeline.

With Damon, it was all wrong; from their feelings to the timing, they couldn't have picked a worse thing to fall into because there was no certainty. It was forbidden and unspoken. It was raw and real, but somehow cosmic in its own way, as the stars suddenly aligned—forced themselves to align—to make her realize what had been right in front of her face for 29 years, despite never searching for it.

And it was fucked up because she wanted him so badly. His mind, his heart, his body—she was greedy for it and she knew it wasn't just because she enjoyed fucking him, even though the sex had been a huge perk as well. She just genuinely felt nervous about him in the best way possible and she had yet to understand, herself, why that was.

Damon made her feel passion and desire. He was storm that had disrupted her life and simultaneously cleared a path that led right back to him, every single time, no matter what trail she decided to take.

She didn't believe in love at first sight; not anymore. But something about Damon made her feel more like herself—more at home—with him than she had with anybody else. He had embedded himself inside of her brain—and heart—it seemed, because he was the first thing she thought about in the morning and the last thing she dreamed of before going to bed.

He was impulsive, reckless, and dangerous and for some reason it turned every single one of her senses on. His straight-forwardness, how cunning he was, his driven personality to go after what he wanted—to take what he wanted—made him an asshole but her weak in the knees, and she couldn't understand how someone so different from the man she'd been in love with for three years could make her feel this way but he did; Damon Salvatore changed her life.

Damon unraveled her down to the core, somehow, and even though they fought too because of his actions and her disagreement with them, Bonnie had always been someone whose opinion mattered to him. And he often admitted it to her, albeit reluctantly, when he told her she was right, and he could have handled something much differently. He never once made her feel like anything she was telling him was falling into deaf ears. He listened while still making her own choices. And he allowed her to make her own as well. They both just weren't afraid to call the other out when they thought it might be a bad one.

And now, this ordinary best friendship of hers had morphed itself into something more—something bigger than them both—and she couldn't explain the gravitational pull she felt towards him, other than the fact that she knew him—all of him, right down to every dirty detail of his life that he didn't even tell his brother, and he knew her, as well. He knew her even better than she could have ever imagined.

She couldn't decipher why she tingled from her toes straight up to the top of his head when he looked at her. Or why her mind choseto constantly have him on loop—an infinite replay—whenever she tried to stop and think of something else.

It was like there was nothing else.

Nevertheless, she hated the idea of loving him so soon.

It would be a slap in the face to Enzo, Elena—and her own intelligence—if she jumped into the shallow end of this, eyes closed, with no life jacket and expected things to turn out well, because they wouldn't.

She couldn't love him yet because that defied all logic—all reason—and she just couldn't be that stupid, she told herself, though she had been dumb enough to get herself wrapped up into this entire situation in the first place.

Bonnie shook her head and finished the rest of her glass as she reached for her phone to text Elena again, while Caroline observed.

"I don't love Damon and he's not in love with me. We are just… figuring it out," she said, and the blonde didn't say a word though Bonnie knew just what she was thinking by the look on her face. "I texted Elena again. Hopefully she's on her way."

Though she knew whether she was or not, that wouldn't change the sinking feeling in her stomach that told her maybe Caroline was right.

She just couldn't let herself admit it yet.

XXXXX

Damon looked around the massive space that he was now standing in, as he leaned against the bar and the bass from the EDM music rattled the countertop while he nursed a Diet Coke.

He probably wouldn't have volunteered to be the designated driver tonight had he known Marcel's idea of a Guy's Night didn't mean drinks and darts at their local pub, but instead neon lights, progressive house, and girls in fishnets, bras, and short shorts parading around at a rave somewhere twenty minutes out of town in an abandoned warehouse out in the middle of nowhere, with shitty cell reception.

He needed a drink to be able to handle this shit.

The crowd was young— a lot of newly legal drinkers, he realized, as he could only liken the behavior of some of these people to those who had never had a drop of alcohol in their lives, and had been blessed for the first time with a Fireball shot to welcome them to their adulthood.

Damon figured he couldn't be too judgmental though—after all, he was the same fucking way as a kid—and his friends were just as bad right now, considering they were all tripping balls off of the complimentary molly that Marcel brought in for them. Damon's literal only escape from that hell was that he was the designated driver.

And suddenly being sober tonight wasn't so bad anymore.

He got to watch his brother dancing shirtless, with his flannel tied around his head in a pair of pilot goggles, fist bumping in circles in time with the music. And Alaric, the poor bastard, had awkwardly run into a few of his students who attended his history lecture last Fall at Whitmore; it was probably for the better that he was high because he was now taking shots with them and knowing his reclusive, ultra-controlled and laid back friend, he would've been mortified to even been seen by them if he were in his right state of mind.

Damon was sure to snap a few pictures of them both his iPhone for blackmail purposes.

As for Marcel and Enzo, they had disappeared into the crowd and Damon wanted to assume they met some girls, because he so desperately needed Enzo to at least hook-up with someone else already so he didn't feel so shitty about the fact that he was fucking Bonnie as early as this morning, when she stopped by his house just to bring him back his jacket he left in her condo when he rushed out the door for work.

An impromptu visit turned into an even faster quickie against the kitchen counter as he made her coffee and he couldn't say he regretted it because as always, Bonnie blew his mind. But seeing Enzo for the first time tonight since she'd had her talk with him, he could honestly say that he felt bad. He shouldn't have even been here, to be honest, considering he was the direct and indirect reason they had broken up. But Marcel insisted, because he didn't know anything, and Damon wasn't about to tell him the truth, without letting Bonnie do so herself, like she requested.

He wanted to talk to Enzo about it; he knew it was the right thing to do, as Bonnie had said, and he was eager to just get this shit out in the open already so he could deal with the consequences and move on with his life, because this constant state of anxiety he had to live in thinking about it was just not it.

But he knew he had no right to complain. And this was also the wrong place and the wrong time. Because tonight was about Enzo and trying to distract him from the horror film that had become his life lately. Why would Damon drop a plot twist on him now, and reveal that he had been the psycho serial killer all along, fucking up everything that he loved and leaving devastation in the wake?

He absolutely was not going to do that.

So, he was here. At the bar, watching his drunk and high ass little brother live his best life, until the guys eventually tired themselves out and decided they were ready to go home. He had to admit this wasn't the worst thing to ever happened to him. But he really could use a glass of whiskey.

Damon was awakened by his thoughts when Enzo came stumbling over through the crowd with a goofy smile on his face. He immediately braced himself for impact when the British man collapsed onto his shoulder and Damon held him up with a grin as he met his jaded eyes and the man snorted, patting Damon on the head before he gathered his thoughts long enough to speak.

"I'm really fucked up."

"I've noticed," Damon laughed, and Enzo did too as he leaned more of his weight onto the bar and ordered a round of shots before he turned back to face him.

"Do you think I shouldn't have taken that pill? It really hit me harder than I thought."

"I think… you're an adult, capable of making your own wacky decisions and that I would be a hypocrite if I said you were overindulging… sometimes you've got to let loose to be able to reel it back in."

Enzo smiled at that before grabbing the shots off the countertop and holding one to Damon, with glimmering eyes.

"Take a shot with me, mate."

"I'm driving, remember? Tonight, Daddy Damon needs to be on his behavior. Otherwise, Jo and Caroline will have a warrant out for my arrest."

"It's just one, you'll be fine. I've watched you annihilate an entire bottle of tequila and still be able to stand."

Damon nodded at that truth and took the shot into his hand as they easily clanked the glasses together and knocked them back; the taste of straight vodka piercing his senses before he reopened his eyes and Enzo leaned on the bar again, standing beside him and looking out at the crowd and then him.

"I wanted to thank you for coming," he said, and Damon met his eyes quietly. "All of you, coming together to cheer me up tonight… it means a lot to me. Especially because I know you're Bonnie's friend too, and she and I…" he trailed off, ticking his jaw. "We're pretty non-existent, at this point."

Damon inhaled at that and slowly placed a hand on Enzo's shoulder giving it a tight squeeze, though his heart was racing all the while.

What could even say exactly that wouldn't make him feel like the biggest asshole to have ever walked the planet?

"Things… happen for a reason. And I just want you to know that whatever happens, I still care about you. I always will."

Enzo looked down at that, his black boots tapping against the ground before looking back up and finding Damon's eyes.

"Has she really not told you who he is?" Enzo asked and Damon shook his head 'no' quickly. "I guess I'm still just really taken by all of this… It's like she's a different person."

"I… think she's just trying to be more honest about who she's always been… and what she's always felt," Damon said carefully, and Enzo listened on. "I-I don't think it was right at all, just so you know—"

"I know," Enzo nodded. "You're the brother I never had," he added, and Damon felt his throat tighten as Enzo spoke on sincerely. "It's nice to know that even if Bonnie and I are pretty much through, you're still here. I can't thank you enough for that, Damon, truly— "

"Don't thank me, just… live your life. That's all I want. I want you to move on and be happy. I don't want you to think about what went wrong or anything else because you shouldn't mull over this forever. You should just know that you're better than everything you've been through—and you're strong. A hell of a lot stronger than I could ever hope to be in my life… I guess I've always sort of envied you in that way. You have no quit; you just keep going."

And he wasn't bullshitting him about that. One of the reasons Damon had so easily become friends with Enzo despite the fact that he was sweeping the woman that he loved off of his feet was because of his commitment to achieving all of his hopes and dreams, no matter what roadblocks or obstacles had stood in his way. Damon couldn't argue with why or how Bonnie had fallen in love with him; he was determined, patient, and a fighter. He fought longer and harder than anyone else had in their life.

Damon was jealous because he admired him so much. And it was impossible for Bonnie not to fall head over heels with this guy. He was a near-perfect specimen of a human being, while Damon was just… Damon.

Enzo smiled grandly and hugged him at that and Damon exhaled when he held him in the tight embrace before he looked up and saw the last thing he expected to see, just a couple hundred feet ahead of them especially when he had on good authority that she was supposed to be at a Girl's Night at Bonnie's condo right now, not here. It was enough that he would feel forever lacking in Enzo's presence, but now he had to deal with her too?

He lifted a brow and Enzo immediately turned around to see what he was staring at and he squinted his eyes with a joyful, guttural laugh before turning to face Damon.

"Is that Elena Gilbert?"

It sure fucking was.

Dancing on top of the other end of the bar, dressed in microscopic metallic silver shorts, a neon crop top, and her hair out in wild curls, painted with glitter, as she moved to the beat and the crowd cheered her on.

Elena took back a bottle of Captain Morgan to the lips before pouring shots into other party goers' mouths as she jumped up and down happily on the bar.

Damon couldn't believe what he was seeing.

He dated this woman for an excruciatingly long time, and she had always been the poster girl for Girls Next Door. Hell, she could have trademarked it, if she wanted to. She was more into studying than partying in college which was fine—after all, it was the reason why she was now a medical doctor in the Emergency Department as Mystic Falls General Hospital. And she very openly preferred laidback nights in, with a bottle of wine, Netflix, and soft pajamas or a nice book to keep her company.

Damon accommodated that. He was a good boyfriend to her—usually—and never pushed her to drink, or dance when they went out to a party, even though it was what he liked to do. Elena didn't love the fact that he was much more outgoing than she was, because to her it was crossing the line of flirty and a lot of their arguments boiled down to her not trusting him when he was around other women. She only felt okay with him being around Bonnie and Caroline.

He had to laugh at the irony in that, considering he was sleeping with one of them and the other now knew his deepest, darkest secret and guarded it with her life, even though she owed him nothing.

But to see Elena here, at a rave letting loose, was weird and confusing to him. And it seemed she was saved by the bell for now as his phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out to see Matt Donovan's name flashing across the bright screen.

Normally he would've sent him straight to voicemail but seeing as he was manning the bar alone tonight, he figured he should pick up, considering it be an emergency.

"I'll be back Enzo, don't move," Damon excused himself with his phone to his ear as he vacated the bar and tried to find somewhere quieter to take the call.

He walked down a corridor that led to the bathrooms and exhaled a sigh when he could finally hear himself think.

"This better be important Donovan," Damon snapped with the phone to his ear and he listened on as Matt explained himself on the other line with urgency.

"The ice machine is broken. Who do I call to fix this?... And where the hell are you? It sounds like two monorails are fucking in the background."

"A rave, don't ask."

"Okay, I won't. But do you have a number for a repairman? Unless you want to come take a look at it yourself?"

"I am on babysitting duty tonight so I can't. But check my office, there should be an address book in the top drawer. Guy's name is Sal. He's handy and I'm sure he can figure it out. Tell him to give me a call with an estimate. In the meantime, get creative about the ice situation. I'm sure you can figure it out."

"Will do," Matt said before they both hung up and Damon shook his head, immediately finding Bonnie's name to send her a quick text as he walked back over towards the bar to find Enzo and the rest of the guys.

I hope you weren't planning on having that talk with Elena tonight. She ditched you for a rave.

Damon's phone buzzed immediately in response as he read Bonnie's message.

A rave? What the hell would she be doing at a rave? How do you know?

Because I'm at said rave and she's dancing on the bar like this is Studio 54.

Damon looked up and his eyes squinted when he noticed Elena was no longer where he had seen her, and neither was Enzo, as he looked around for a moment and scanned the crowd for either one of them while his phone buzzed in his hand.

Tell her I need to talk to her and it's important.

Will do as soon as I can find her, Bon, he responded as he looked around again, when he made his way over to the dance floor.

His eyes looked through the crowd and immediately widened when he found Elena, indeed, with her arms wrapped around Enzo and her body pressed to his closely as they danced to the music blaring from the speakers and Damon swallowed hard as he witnessed the sight.

They were both laughing and nearly nose to nose as she placed a glow stick necklace around him, leaning into his ear and whispering something as she watched her hands slipping down his shirt and Enzo held onto her waist as he listened.

If Damon didn't know any better, he'd say they were fucking flirting. Right here. In plain sight, and they were both too hopped up on drugs and alcohol to care as Enzo spun Elena around and she landed in his arms, hard pressed with her ass to his torso, grinding against him slowly with her eyes shut in total ecstasy.

She grabbed his hands and boldly guided them along her bare midriff, and he said something onto her ear that garnered another laugh from her, before Elena turned back around to face him; her lips just a hair away from Enzo's. She reached into her pocket and placed a small tablet on her the tip of her tongue with a shiny smirk on her face, daring him to take it from her with just the aid of his mouth.

Damon's fists tightened as he watched on and decided enough was enough of that.

Did you find her? Bonnie asked through text and he simply replied Yep as he stormed over to the middle of the dance floor and grabbed her hand to pull her away—Enzo seemingly awakened his stupor as he opened his eyes and sent Damon an apologetic glance as he backed away.

"I'm… going to have some water."

Damon didn't answer that as Enzo all but power walked off and he turned to face Elena who was staring at him wild-eyed but definitely under the influence with crossed arms while he still held onto her.

"What the hell are you doing, you caveman?"

"Stopping you from doing something I know you don't want to do to Bonnie," he answered and Elena snorted as she ripped her arm away; her big brown eyes staring deep into his with such conviction, he almost thought she could set him on fire with her look alone.

"I don't want to do what to Bonnie? We were just having fun."

"You didn't see you, just now."

You're overreacting, Damon, but then again, I would expect you to. It's Bonnie, after all."

"Elena, you're drunk. And high. And who knows what else— "

"So, you think that I would hook up with her ex-fiancé behind her back because I'm having a good time?"

"Clearly I don't know what you're capable of… I didn't even think you'd ever be here."

"It's funny how that happens," she said as she looked into his eyes and offered a tight smile. "It's funny how you know someone and then one day… you just don't."

"What are you talking about Elena?"

"I saw you," she said firmly, and his brows lifted as she remained stoic; the bass in the warehouse rattling her bones. "I know about you and Bonnie—I saw everything."

Damon let out a sigh as he shook his head and moved forward to take her hand again, but Elena refused as she backed away.

"She wanted to talk to you, Elena. Tonight. It's why she invited you over, to be honest about everything."

"Oh, did she? She wanted to be honest, that's great—Bonnie feels remorse for taking away the one thing that was mine, for ten years... Am I supposed to be sympathetic?"

"No. No, you're not and I get that because you're hurt… And you have a right to be. But she's your best friend, Elena. And I know what we did was wrong, but it wasn't about you— "

"Enzo has no idea, does he?" she interrupted, and Damon remained silent as her eyes remained wide. "He has no clue that his 'best friend' and former fiancé are fucking around behind his back. And you had the nerve to make him feel like he did something wrong just now! Like dancing with me was wrong— "

"Because you're doing this out of revenge, Elena! It doesn't have anything to do with love. You just want to get back at Bonnie and using Enzo to do that isn't the way to go. He's hurting right now and lost and confused— "

"Do you love her?" she asked, and his mouth immediately shut as she laughed gravely and shook her head. "Because if you love her you think that makes all of this okay and that me or Enzo should just accept that—"

"Elena, that's not what I said—"

"Answer me," she demanded through her teeth and his mouth snapped shut as he watched the water slowly but surely filling her eyes the longer the silence passed between them.

He suddenly felt the weight of her tears were barreling down on him like Niagara Falls.

And he knew it would feel like shit. But this felt even worse than he could have ever imagined.

"Yes," he said honestly, and Elena's thick black lashes remained heavy as she blinked solemnly. "I do love her, Elena… I always have."

Elena let out a humorless laugh as she shook her head and turned on her heel to walk away but not before issuing a final threat.

"Maybe I'll go tell Enzo that. So that he won't feel so bad about the fact that I got him hard just now on the dance floor… He can finally know that his best friend is a lying sack of shit and his ex-fiancé is a whore," she said choked up in tears and Damon grabbed his wrist to pull her back as she turned to face him.

"Elena, stop—"

His words halted when her hand slapped him straight across the face and he swore he could hear the stinging of his skin over the bass thumping from the speakers; he pressed a hand to his jaw and he watched as Elena's eyes were gushing as she immediately moved past him, fists clenched at her sides.

"Fuck you, Damon! And fuck Bonnie too," she said as she stormed off and he took in a deep breath to try to balance himself though if he were honest, he was seeing red right now.

His phone buzzed again, and this time he didn't even read the message; instead he typed out a quick response and pressed send as he spun around to find Enzo before Elena did or else things were about to get a whole lot worse.

We have a problem, his text message to Bonnie started. Elena knows.

A/N: HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY, Y'ALL! Honestly I am on a roll with this story and I mean it when I say that your reviews and feedback give me the life and confidence and determination to continue to feed you all with the latest twisted bullshit I could come up in my mind for this one LOL. So, what did we all think? Just a few things to break down in this chapter. Who predicted Elena's batshit but ultimately justified reaction? And ooooooh gurl, she OUT for blood. I honestly like Elena (I know, I know—who am I? lolol) and I think TVD did a piss poor job of writing her for 8 seasons so even though she's against Bonnie in this story I feel like you gotta know where she's coming from—Damon was her first and only love and Bonnie's her best friend. I wouldn't take it lightly either. Next, I kind of wanted to show the dynamic between Enzo and Damon because although we're told they're friends Damon's been straight up avoiding him until now because of his own guilty conscious. Do we think Elena will really go through with it and tell him what the hell has been going on? And Bonnie and Caroline—ahh. So so so happy so many of y'all are here for this friendship because I love to write it, bbs are super precious. Do you think she's right that Bonnie's falling in love with Damon and if so, is that going to cause her to continue to dive right in or pump the brakes for fear of moving too fast like she did with Enzo? We shall see. As always, THANK YOU ALL for making this such a fun and exciting story to write. It's honestly been a pleasure. I am FOR SURE still working on my other stories as well, this one just has been captivated at the moment so be patient with me. And until next time. R&R my friends. PS: Stefan, wasted at a rave, with a flannel tied around his head; who else laughed? I did lmao.