Which To Bury: Us or the Hatchet?
"How'd I know I'd find you out here, taking a swim?" Bonnie heard as she rose to the surface in the water and slicked her wet hair back.
Damon stood there watching her; a bottle of wine, two glasses in hand and an amused grin on his face as she smiled and swam towards him. She rested her arms on edge of the inground pool when she arrived, and he sat down on the concrete so that they were face to face.
Her olive eyes glistened with a hint of the evening sun that was just barely in the sky as she watched him uncork the bottle of red, pour two servings, and hand her one. She accepted it graciously and took a sip; the scent chilling her down to the bone, as she realized just how much she was going to miss fresh, authentic Italian wine straight from the vineyards when it was time to return to Mystic Falls.
The time would come too soon.
"How was your workout? You're drinking afterwards, which is probably counterproductive," Bonnie joked, and Damon nodded knowingly at that, before taking a sip and licking his lips.
"I've accepted the fact that I'm just not gonna have abs this summer. I hope you have," he dotted her nose with his index and Bonnie snorted at that with a grin before he continued on. "How's the water?"
"Heated and heavenly. You should come in," she responded, and he sneered at that before she scoffed. "Really? This pool is amazing. No offense, but it's better than yours at the boarding house."
"It's a good thing, then, that pool also belongs to my father. And the community pool at your condo is my next upgrade," he joked, and he slapped his arm at that, and he bit his lip. "You're not having second thoughts about me moving in, are you?"
"As if. I'm gonna save so much money splitting utilities with a roommate. Even a shitty one like you," she smirked, and Damon smiled at that when her hand landed on his; thumb softly brushing his palm. "It's been a few days; we've even amended the lease add your name, but it still hasn't set in. And I still haven't told my parents. They're gonna freak out."
"Not any worse than they did when you decided to drop everything and come to Italy with me," he reasoned. "Besides—at least you're actually talking to your parents," Damon noted, citing her most recent reconciliation with Rudy and Abby.
Things weren't perfect, per se, but her parents finally extended the olive branch and left her message, checking in, to let her know that they missed her and hoped she was having a good time. They also advised they were open to hearing her out this time, if she was willing to talk, and they'd love it if she and Damon came to New York to visit sometime soon, when she was back in the states.
She wasn't sure what sparked the forgiveness tour, but she was willing to give it a shot because she loved them despite their reactions to her relationship and wanted things to be good again. So, she told them to pencil her in for a FaceTime Call sometime next week and depending on how that went, perhaps she'd book two roundtrip tickets from Richmond International to John F. Kennedy Airport.
Maybe she'd spring it on them that she and Damon were moving in together after they had already done it.
"Yes, my parents are coming around. But at least yours actually approve of our relationship… You should talk to your Dad, Damon. Or Stefan. Or your Dad and Stefan," Bonnie said optimistically as he tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth, offering no response. "They've asked about you, every single day. They're worried. And rightfully so. The last time you had a conversation with either of them—"
"I stormed off from the dinner table and told Stefan to go fuck himself," Damon remembered the unsavory evening vividly; the night his father revealed he was dying from cancer. "I know I need to say something. And yes, I'm going to put on my big boy pants and apologize for the way I reacted, I just—" he started and stopped, brushing his freshly shaved jaw with his hand and letting out a deep exhale. "I can talk to Stefan; I know I can. We've been here before and we always get through it. But my Dad… I don't know what to say. What do I say? How do I… help him come to terms with this, if I haven't even come to terms with it myself?" he asked and Bonnie pursed her lips at that, as Damon's cerulean eyes met hers. "It hurts, Bon."
"I know. And… it'll probably never stop hurting," she said as she placed her wine down and placed her hands on the pavement to get out of the pool and sit beside him. "But we can't let this get any worse. And you can't avoid him forever, you know. You don't have the time to."
"I know. And I won't. When he… comes home, back to Mystic Falls, he and I will talk. Really talk," Damon said, and she remained silent at that as he chewed his lip. "But not here, Bonnie. This trip—this entire thing—was meant to be about you. And I don't want my family drama getting in the way of us ending this vacation on a good note. Especially not before your big 3-0," he reminded, and Bonnie groaned at that and he smiled. "What?"
"My birthday is not more important than making up with your Dad and your brother, Damon."
"Tell that to Caroline. She's back home sublimating and planning a 250-person surprise party at a mansion that I no longer own," he said flippantly, and her eyes widened at that. "I even left her my AMEX Black Card to pay for everything. What a sucker I am—"
"Cancel the party, Damon. I don't want a party! You know I hate surprise parties. I don't like the attention."
"Fine. I'll call Rabid Barbie off, but on one condition. We have to celebrate, here in Italy. So, what do you wanna do, Bennett?"
"Ugh, nothing, Damon. Lay in bed, watch Netflix, eat pasta, and weep about the fact that I'm getting older. Is that good enough for you? I hope that it is."
"Right, so, that's not gonna cut it. And if we don't celebrate here, the party is 100% on. Because Caroline is scary and she has my money," he said, and she scoffed before taking another long drag of her wine as she met his eyes. "We can do anything you want, Bonnie. We're here for five more days and then it's back to reality, so let's make it count. Give me a breadcrumb, and I will take care of the rest. I just need a hint at what you want."
Bonnie thought about it for a moment and finally turned to face his curious, radiant eyes again before her lips curled into a smile and he simply remained in awe of her, because he still couldn't believe this was actually a thing; she was his girlfriend.
And his existential crisis right now was what was he going to do for his girlfriend Bonnie Bennett's 30th birthday in Italy?
This was all still so wild to him.
"Fuck it. Let's… go to Rome," she said, and Damon's brows lifted at that and Bonnie shrugged both shoulders. "I know I said before that we should stay here and stick around with your family for the rest of the trip but—"
"You've finally realized how batshit crazy they are and you're sick of living in the Versace Mansion? No judgment, because same."
"I'm not sick of the Versace Mansion; I will really, really miss this house, but I… think it will be good for you and your mental health if we… take a beat. And you spend a few days away from your Dad. Like you said, he'll be in Mystic Falls this time next month and you'll have your chance to talk about how you feel about things. Maybe it's not such a bad idea to get away from our getaway," she said, and Damon smiled softly at that before he leaned in and pressed his mouth gently to hers.
Bonnie moaned softly against his lips; the mixture of tart and sweet from the wine lingering for a moment before he finally pulled away and looking straight into her now cloudy eyes.
He still couldn't believe that this girl was actually in love with him, and she was crazy about him as he was about her.
What did he do to deserve this? Deserve her?
"Thank you," he said in a voice barely above a whisper, and Bonnie nodded as Damon took her hand, rubbing her knuckles softly. "I promise you Bonnie, I will fix this. I'm not running, I just need time to heal and deal with it and I will. I will… tell him that we're leaving, and why. I'll even tell Stefan—"
"Or we could invite Stefan along?" Bonnie suggested softly and Damon's brows furrowed at that with narrowed eyes. "You said you were ready to talk to him, so just get it out of the way already. Then see if he wants to come to Rome. He misses you, Damon and I'm sure he wants a break from everything, too."
"Three's a crowd, Bon. And my brother's fun rating is approximately a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Do you know how hard it is to score that low?"
"I'd like to think I'm at least a good 5%. Maybe a generous 12% when I'm tipsy," they heard, and they both turned around to see Stefan walking into the backyard, in a pair of swim trunks and presumably sweaty from his 5-mile run. "What are we talking about, anyway?"
"Damon has something to ask you. I'll be inside. Bye now," Bonnie hopped to her feet and Damon rolled his eyes as his girlfriend flashed him an award winning, before she scurried off in three seconds flat.
Stefan got into the pool and Damon didn't budge as he watched his brother do a slow backstroke for a few moments, as a long silence passed between them, until he finally cleared his throat and Stefan opened his eyes.
Damon cracked his knuckles.
"Bonnie has this crazy idea that you'd want to come to Rome with us, for a few days," Damon said, and Stefan remained silent at that as he swam. "I, obviously, think it's ridiculous, because we haven't had a real conversation in months. And the last time we even talked—"
"You told me to go fuck myself. I remember," Stefan said as Damon licked his teeth and Stefan stopped swimming when he got to the shallow end, standing to his feet. "When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow, I guess. I have to book a hotel, obviously. Then rent a car for the drive—"
"I'll come."
"Pardon?"
"I said I'll come," Stefan answered, and Damon ticked his jaw at that, as his brother's green eyes met his; his chest immediately heavy as he awaited the rest of his sentence, the longer they stared at each other in silence. "Not unless you don't want me to, because you think I'm not fun… If that's what this is about."
"Fine. It has nothing to do with how not-fun you are, Stefan. It has everything to do with the fact that whatever has been going on between us since I told you about Bonnie and I is not fun," Damon said honestly as his brother pursed his lips and listened on. "You haven't had a real conversation with me since I got into that fight with Enzo and now things are headed downhill fast with Dad, and I don't know how to talk to you. I feel like I… can't talk to you. Because don't get me, Stefan. And you don't care to; you don't want to."
Stefan swallowed hard at that as he looked down for a moment; the bone-crushing hit of the reality of Damon's words that he'd been anticipating for months, now finally spilled from his lips and onto his greedy ears. Just as brash and blunt as he imagined them to be.
But he knew he deserved it; he deserved hurtful at this point.
"I shouldn't have said what I said to you, Damon—the last time we spoke. When I called you cruel," Stefan answered, and Damon didn't say a word to that in response, before Stefan continued. "It was cruel of me to say that to you. I should have taken your side, in the whole thing. Not because I thought you were right, but because you're my brother and that's all that matters at the end of the day… that I have you and you have me, no matter what."
"But you didn't have my back, Stefan. You made me feel like an awful person when I already knew that what I'd done was awful. I didn't tell you because I didn't need you piling down on me when I already hated myself enough for hurting Enzo; for hurting my best friend."
Damon looked down at that and Stefan moved in closer towards him, but still kept a safe distance a few feet away. He inhaled a deep sigh before starting again, in a lower, and even gentler tone than he had been speaking in before.
"I fucked up, Damon. I know I did. By ignoring you, avoiding you… making you feel like you were the one who wasn't good enough, when all this time, it's been me. I haven't been a good brother to you. I haven't even been a good friend to you. And I'm sorry. I really am sorry for everything. I promise that it won't happen again. I know that it won't. Okay?"
Damon swallowed at that with a nod before he took another sip of his wine, steady avoiding his eyes.
"I… am sorry I told you to go fuck yourself. I'm sorry for the way I spiraled at dinner. It was embarrassing; I'm embarrassed. But… everything else I said, Stefan; I meant. All of it, about you, about Dad—"
"I know and… I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't come to me; like you couldn't tell me how you really felt, all those years when you… took care of me," Stefan said, as he felt tears forming in his eyes and he blinked them away; falsely blaming them on the chlorine. "Why didn't you tell me, Damon?"
"Tell you what? That I hated being the man of the house when we were growing up? I had no choice, Stefan, you were a kid—"
"So were you. And I didn't let you just be one, because you were too busy looking out for me. You were too busy trying to keep the family together; trying to save my childhood and save Dad's life."
Silence.
Stefan moved in closer at that, until he was less than two feet away from his brother who remained stone-faced as he looked into his eyes, and swallowed hard, polishing off the drink in hand before pouring another. Stefan quietly took the glass of wine and bottle from his hand and set it down beside them as he now stood right before him; biting down hard on his lip just to keep it from shaking.
"Somebody had to it. And Dad was incapable. It wasn't his fault."
"It wasn't yours either, Damon," Stefan asked softer this time, as Damon's eyes seemed to widen the longer he faced him though he still hadn't said a word. "Your blame yourself, don't you? And you're still blaming yourself for Dad."
Damon scoffed lightly and shook his head.
"Don't psychoanalyze me, Stefan. Seriously."
"After Mom died, you… you pretended like you were okay; like you moved past it, but it was a lie. Y-You didn't move past it, at all. You just… buried it, like it didn't exist. You turned it off. Why didn't you tell me?"
Damon ticked his jaw uncomfortably and shrugged after a long moment, though by the second his eyes were becoming glossy.
"I couldn't Stefan."
He stood up at that and walked away from the pool. He didn't walk inside to end the conversation, like Stefan half-expected he would. Instead, he stood near the patio table, seemingly refusing to sit, as Stefan hopped out of the water and neared him, shivering, but he didn't stop his descent.
"Why didn't you tell me, Damon?" he repeated, and Damon breathed deeply avoiding his glare.
"I said I couldn't. Drop it."
"I'm not going to drop it, Damon. Because you were my best friend—my only friend. We were in it together, as brothers; I looked up to you. And I wouldn't have cared if you were honest and told me that you needed me too, because we're brothers, Damon. And that what brother's do. They take care of one another—"
"I wanted to die, Stefan," he finally choked out and Stefan nearly stopped breathing when he said it, as he watched the delayed fear begin to take over his features; his blue eyes suddenly desolate and his hands a ghostly white when he cracked his knuckles slowly, realizing he'd scared himself by saying it out loud. "There was a point when… things got really bad and I… thought about it, Stefan. I considered it—every night, while you were across the room, sound asleep. I just wanted it to stop; I wanted the pain to stop. So, I… hid Mom's pain pills, before Dad could throw them out after she was gone. The funny thing is… he didn't even realize they were missing. He didn't know I took them; that's how fucked up it all was, Stefan. And that's why I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you because I'm your big brother and I never could have expected you to understand what I was feeling if our own father didn't even see it."
Stefan let his tears run freely at that point as his palms landed on his brother's shoulders now as he stood before him; the feeling of a golf ball in his throat as he tried to swallow but couldn't, so he took in a deep breath and shook his head.
"Damon, I," he stopped just to breathe as his salty tears stained his cheeks, and Damon remained astounded he'd actually said it out loud to someone. Maybe this was the first step towards moving past it. "You know that's not an option, right? You have to know—"
"I do now, trust me, I… know," Damon said as his brother sniffled, still gripping onto him tightly. "I'd never consider it again."
"Because of Bonnie? I-I know that's been good to you Damon and good for you. And I know you're good for her too. I've… apologized to her, for what I said, and I promise, I'm supportive of whatever you guys want to do, 1000%-"
"It was because of you, Stefan," he said with a slight break in his voice and his brother's eyes continued to fill with tears, as Damon spoke on, trying to contain the trembling within his tone.
"I held on because I couldn't do that to you, because I… love you too much to want to hurt you," he said, and Stefan exhaled at that while he followed his stare. "It was stupid but I… turned it off because the alternative was hurting you. And I know that's not okay—I know that I can't just flip a switch and give myself a proverbial mind-sweep anytime anything bad happens to me because once it's back on, everything comes rushing back in. And it's worse the second time around. It's always worse but I… know that I'll need help with that. And… I can't put it on you or Bonnie to keep me on the straight and narrow when Dad's gone," he said before looking up and looking deep into Stefan's eyes. "Because he's gonna die, Stefan. And I have to deal with that."
"But you don't have to do it alone. I am here, Damon. I will always be here and… I know I had crappy way of showing it before, but I'll work on that. Because I love you too. And I want you to be okay," Stefan said, and Damon nodded at that as his hand finally landed on Stefan's. He flashed a here and gone smile before he spoke. His brother's tears were still streaming down his face.
"Would you believe it that Damon Salvatore signed up for therapy? My… first session is when Bonnie and I get back to Mystic Falls. We're… moving in together." Stefan's eyes widened at that and Damon watched as happiness slowly filtered onto his features, but he didn't say a word, to allow Damon to keep speaking. "I figured after 31 years it was finally time to get my shit together. And Bonnie, she…thought it would be a good idea with Dad coming back for me to just stay with her. So, that's what I'm gonna do. Stay with Bonnie, while going to therapy, and reopening the bar—"
His words were cut off when Stefan reached in and hugged him tightly; his head landed on Damon's shoulders and his palm on the back of his hair for about thirty seconds before Damon finally reciprocated the emotion and hugged him too.
It'd been too long since they hugged—he didn't even remember the last time—but he appreciated the warmth he felt, even while Stefan was soaked and holding him tightly against pool-soaked skin.
This shirt would be ruined. And that was okay.
"I'm proud of you," Stefan said; maybe for the first time ever to him, and that stirred something in Damon's bones as his brother pulled back and looked into his eyes; smiling, with tears on his lashes that he still hadn't bothered to wipe away. "I'm really fucking proud of you, Damon."
Damon sighed at that, finally nodding, as a soft smile formed onto his lips.
"I think I finally am, too."
XXXXX
"So, let me get this straight; your conniving ex-fiancé cheated with someone you'd consider like a brother to you, all for you to find out that he is, in fact, actually your brother and you haven't said anything about it to the bastard yet? What exactly are you waiting for? For Jesus to come down and tell you to do it, himself?" Enzo heard as he took another sip of his drink and sighed in response as his friend Julian Tulle paced the living room of his new loft and let out a long whistle. "This is bloody mess if I've ever seen one."
"I'm well aware of that, Julian, thank you."
"It's the mess they all deserve though; for fucking you over! The embarrassment, the shame, the insanity that will be released onto this stupid little town when Damon realizes his angel of a mother was not so innocent, when his father finds out his wife was a liar, and when Bon-Bon discovers she's been keeping it all in the family. So, what's stopping you from telling everyone thatyou know? I hope it's not for their benefit. Especially not Bonnie's."
"It's not about her. I've… moved on from that," he lied, as he felt for the wedding band that was no longer on his finger and re-affirmed to himself silently that taking it off was the right thing to do if he were finally going to get over her, for good. "Besides, I think I've repaid her back plenty for what she did to me. I don't have anything else to say to her," he added.
Maybe aside from an overdue apology, perhaps.
Flashes of his infamous and childish eruption at the Winter Gala that cost her, her job, followed by images of Elena, naked and riding his torso to climax, assaulted his mind, before he took another sip.
He regretted it, he realized, when he really sat down and thought about it; how he let his anger, immaturity, and rage make not just one, but several bad decisions for him, in the wake of finding about Damon and Bonnie, and all they'd been doing the past several months, and seemingly right under his nose.
He knew he couldn't take it back, but he wanted to. Because fucking her best friend was probably the cruelest way he could have gotten revenge. And the worst part about it? It didn't do anything to quell the gaping fucking hole that he felt in his chest.
It didn't make him feel any better one bit.
Because he'd done all of it to get back at Bonnie and seemingly to prove to himself that he wasn't the spineless coward she or Damon maybe thought that he was. He could be cold. He could be calculating. He could be vengeful. But he was also a human being who was hurt and decided to hurt in return. And now he felt remorse.
As much as he didn't want to; as much as he tried to convince himself that he shouldn't, considering the fact that Damon and Bonnie were perfectly happy and even dating, after everything that happened.
And he was still; miserable and alone. Just as he'd started, in this cold and unforgiving world.
He'd tried so desperately hard to shame them both into not wanting one another with the words he'd said because they humiliated him—the two people who he loved more than anything destroyed him.
He also knew he did it because he was jealous. He was envious that after all he'd been through in his life—after all he'd done to reinvent himself from the poor, abused, orphan who had no friends, no family, and no home—that he still wasn't good enough for her.
Because while he was everything Bonnie could want on paper—educated, self-made, and driven—he wasn't him. And it didn't matter how well he dressed, talked, or what he'd accomplished in his life, even after the scraps he'd been given and the grueling poverty he endured.
Enzo was not Damon. But Bonnie wanted Damon. And he knew that, all along. As much as he tried to ignore it. As much as they both tried to hide it. He knew there had been something between them, from the second he met Damon; the first time she introduced Enzo to her friends and seemingly the most important man, aside from her father, in her life.
The arrogant, sarcastic, but funny and unbelievably handsome guy that she claimed as her "best friend" just seemed a little too in tune with her to be entirely platonic.
He shouldn't have been surprised at all to hear that they fucked; especially because he long believed it'd happened at some point all though Bonnie laughed the idea off and told him he was ridiculous for even asking.
He dropped it—verbally—but in the back of his head, he couldn't help but wonder, as he watched Damon mindlessly staring at her—usually her mouth—while she talked, and Bonnie, in turn, involuntarily following his eyes even when he was silent.
Even when they were in a crowded room. The sexual tension was suffocating, and Enzo often wondered if he were crazy for being the only one who noticed it. His fiancé was in love with her best friend—and always had been. And he pretended for three long years that it wasn't the case.
But he knew. He knew all along.
Because there was a persistent and steady spark—one he tried to disregard whenever he was around Damon and Bonnie. One he did ignore when he asked her to marry him anyway, despite knowing very well, somewhere deep down in his heart that his best friend was as hopelessly in love with his girl as she was with him.
After all, he was the first fucking person that she called to gloat about their engagement in Paris, after Enzo willed himself to ask her to marry him on one knee.
She accepted. And then she called Damon. Not her mother, not her father, not her Grams, and not Caroline or Elena.
Damon. It was Damon. It always would be Damon.
The tension, the feelings, the illicit affair; it was happening right in front of his face—it was happening long before he even waltzed into Bonnie's life—but he hoped, and expected, to be the one she chose at the end of the day because why wouldn't she? Why wasn't it time to finally put herself and her feelings first, especially if it seemed as though Damon never planned to act on whatever was slowly but surely simmering between them for the past 30 years?
Damon was caught in his own terrible on-again, off-again relationship with Elena Gilbert that he often vented to Enzo about over bourbon once he warmed up to him. He even admitted to being addicted to her—to the sex, to the toxicity, to the pain—even though he knew it would never end well because they wanted different things. But it was hard for him to let go.
And once he actually did? He was fucking everything else with a pulse, without ever making a play at Bonnie, even though he knew she was what would quench his obvious thirst, once and for all.
And Bonnie? Despite seemingly loving Damon, she didn't seem to care to pursue it or really think about it, even though she gave off big ex-wife energy anytime Damon and his latest conquest didn't seem to work out.
She seemed almost gleeful to have him back in the palm of her hand, as if he'd ever really left in the first place.
But, if Damon had been right there for so long, and they'd never gone there before why now, Enzo reasoned, as he ring-shopped and planned his Paris proposal.
Damon was intelligent, charismatic, and confident; yet Bonnie, still, didn't "see" it. So, why should he make it his job to make her see it? Want him? Especially when he wanted her all to himself?
Enzo swallowed what felt like a sack of bricks at that, as his mind replayed the scene from that night he found out; or rather, what he already knew was verbalized the second he walked into the courtyard and interrupted the game of cat and mouse that they'd been lazily playing all night, while Enzo watched; pretending again not to see it for his own sake.
The intense look on Damon's face, and the love spilling from her eyes, as they bickered like the old married couple they always had been, since the womb; he knew something had finally happened. He always knew it would.
He regretted getting involved. But that didn't mean any of this hurt any less.
"So, Damon, then? The other shitty half of this debacle, who is just as guilty, if not more than she is—for smiling in your face, the entire time he pretended to be your friend, while he was screwing her behind your back?" Julian's voice punctured his thoughts.
Enzo sighed; swallowing down what felt like a brick before he finally spoke.
"I… know Julian. I'm aware of what he's done. What they've both done. But I just…" Enzo trailed off, swiping his hand over his stubbled jaw. "I still care about him, as asinine as that sounds," Enzo admitted lowly as Julian rolled his eyes and he continued. "He betrayed me, I'm aware. But we were friends. At least, I thought we were. And now he might be… my brother. And I've never had a brother, or any real family for that matter. And I can't help but think maybe it won't be so bad. Even if it is him."
"You're delusional but okay, fine. You still care even though you shouldn't," Julian relented, still unmoved. "So, confront the jackass already. What do you have to lose?"
"I can't. I promised Stefan I wouldn't say anything. Not until we were sure," Enzo responded as he polished off the rest of his glass and stood up from the black leather couch. He poured himself another bourbon neat from the bar cart, swallowing down some of the contents, before he started speaking again. "And I trust him. Stefan is a good person. He's always been there for me. He didn't turn his back on me, even after Bonnie chose Damon and I was left behind."
"And yet he's insistent on protecting his feelings, instead of helping you get to the bottom of this. As if Damon doesn't deserve to be blind-sided by the fact that he's sleeping with his half-brother's former fiancé," Julian said with wide blue eyes as he approached him, an indignant glare throughout. "Do you actually believe he'll go through with the blood test when he gets back from Italy, while Bonnie and Damon are full of bliss, from their honeymoon tour? Are you really so naïve?"
Enzo didn't say a word as he took another sip of his drink again and suddenly felt his head spinning from the words spilling from his friend's lips and onto his tired but greedy ears.
He'd known Julian Tulle for a few years now; they were close friends back when he lived in Boston, and they'd met in a Research class at his alma mater, Harvard. They were inseparable back then—attending football games, going out on pub crawls, and playing each other's wingmen when it came to women, until Enzo met Maggie and started to settle down a bit, when he believed he'd found his soulmate.
They'd lost touch and become distant after that—because Julian was a lot wilder than Enzo was. He could barely keep up with the all-nighters, as his friend made it his business to get blackout every night before a big exam while he was just interested in maintaining his 4.0 because he needed his scholarship. They'd eventually stopped speaking altogether once Maggie made it clear that it was her or his best friend and he realized Julian still wasn't quite over it all these years later when he invited both him and his sister, Valerie, to he and Bonnie's wedding but he received the RSVP back, with Julian politely declining on attending.
It wasn't until he reached out to him again—the night of the Winter Gala after everything had been revealed and things officially fell apart with Bonnie—and Julian finally picked up and listened to what happened, as it spilled from the lips of his very drunk and very depressed former best friend.
It resulted in them speaking on the phone for several hours; Julian mostly listening and talking him off the metaphorical ledge. He ultimately forgave him for choosing his relationship over their friendship, and even invited him to come to Boston to get away from Mystic Falls for the New Year.
And now? Here Julian was, in Mystic Falls, on the first flight out when Enzo called him in a pseudo panic about the fact that he'd found out that his biological father was once involved with Stefan and Damon's mother, Lily Salvatore. He believed that his father had gotten her pregnant and when she had him, she'd given him up for adoption, before meeting Giuseppe and starting an actual family. Making Stefan and Damon his half-brothers; his brothers who'd gotten everything Enzo ever wanted in life, and then some, because they'd had a real family while he had nothing.
That part still struck a nerve.
Julian may have been chaotic, but he wasn't entirely wrong the longer he started to reflect upon it. How could he actually trust Stefan to come home and do the right thing, when at the end of the day, Damon was the only real brother he'd ever known?
He was just a half-breed. Stefan owed him no loyalty at the end of it all, no matter how much Enzo believed he deserved the truth.
"You don't fully trust Stefan and you shouldn't," Julian read the expression on his face. "Because if the Salvatore's have proven anything, it's that they'll always look for themselves. And only themselves," Julian said as he polished off his drink, stood to his feet and grabbed his jacket. "But lucky for you, you have me to do that."
Enzo didn't respond to that. He ticked his jaw before sitting up straighter on his couch.
"And where are you going?"
"We're going out," Julian smiled as he stuffed his hands into his jacket and grabbed the keys to Enzo's Jaguar off the table, dangling them on his finger. "Like I said, I'm looking out for you. And I think it's time you allow the old you to come back and get into a little bit of trouble. So, let's go find some."
And with that, he waltzed out the front door.
XXXXX
"Ew, did we just take shots for Fireball?" Elena asked with a laugh as she placed her glass down on the bar top and Nora cringed as she polished hers too before she flashed a smile and spoke over the music that was blaring in the crowded downtown bar on the Thursday night in Mystic Falls.
"Who cares? It was free!" she reasoned, and Elena smirked at that as the two men in the corner who'd paid for them with the bartender still continued to glance their way and she self-consciously adjusted her blouse and flipped her freshly cut bob. "Stop, you look fine."
"I'm just not used to the clothes. Or the hair."
"It's perfect—you're perfect," Nora said, and Elena felt her cheeks flush at that before she finally offered a smile and cleared her throat.
"Says the prettiest girl in the room," Elena responded shyly, as she did a quick once over of Nora's mini dress, before meeting her face and swallowing hard when her cat-like green eyes gleamed in her direction. "Hey, do you think they're gonna stalk us the entire night because they got us a drink?" she quickly changed the subject and Nora obliged her by glancing over at them and away from Elena's reddening cheeks.
"Of course, they will. And that's why we need to put some distance between us and the bar ASAP," Nora responded as she ordered two vodkas with a splash of cranberry.
When they had another set of drinks in hand, Elena was dragged out onto the dance floor and she couldn't help but smile as the 5 '4 girl sang along loudly to the house song blaring from the speakers.
Elena moved along gingerly at first but even she began to get into it when Nora took her hand into hers, and effectively got her to jump around a bit as the beat picked up tempo and they stood face to face.
"There you go!" Nora applauded and Elena laughed as she sang the words to the Rihanna song playing and danced along following Nora's lead; even spinning around when she called for it and landing her hands on her hips as they moved in closer, and the crowd became tighter.
The last time she went out anywhere and danced was months ago, at the rave when she fought with Damon after getting high on molly and trying to seduce Enzo. She hadn't really been out since then—rightfully so—until Nora talked her into coming to this bar tonight, to mark the end of her free weekends once Spring Semester was back in session starting next week.
And she had to admit she was having fun. Nora was a good time, just like she remembered from Bonnie's bachelorette party, as the petite brunette had no problem letting loose and getting everyone to join her to ensure they were all doing the same.
Becoming friends with Nora over the past month had proved to be no different and she understood why Bonnie liked her so much; she really was just a genuinely good person all around.
She was the newly minted Pee Wee Cheerleading coach at the Mystic Falls Youth Center. She volunteered her time with animals, soup kitchens, and at shelters for battered women. She started Mystic Falls' first ever LGBTQ+ outreach program and she'd even curated an impressive reading list for her book club that Elena now joined, which featured titles from several different feminist authors she'd never even heard of from all races, to try to make the fight for Women's Rights in Mystic Falls as inclusive and intersectional as possible.
She really was the real-life Wonder Woman.
So, it was no wonder that she found herself nervous around her so often; and not because Nora was scary. But because she was so fucking cool, and she just wanted to impress her; it was why she'd finally updated her wardrobe and hair, in hopes of getting some praise and attention from her.
Maybe because she had a slight, annoying, involuntary crush on her as well, despite knowing that she had no chance and she was best off single for a while, after all the mess she'd gotten into with He Who Shall Not Be Named.
But that didn't mean she could help the way she felt.
Especially not with Nora constantly checking in on her to see how she was doing, weekly coffee dates, and now taking her out for a night of fun that she so desperately needed as she remembered Bonnie's birthday was approaching and she contemplated just what she was going to say to her, because she had to say something. Right?
She'd talked to Nora about it over dinner the other night and expressed the fact that she did want to fix things with Bonnie, she just wasn't sure how to approach her. Should she wait until she was back from Italy? Was it inappropriate if she called or texted her while she was there with Damon, after all that she'd said and done when she found out they were together?
How would she even begin to explain to her, her fuck up of sleeping with Enzo, repeatedly, because she was jealous, angry, and bitter about the fact that Bonnie was now dating the former love of her life and he'd taken her to fucking Italy for a month and a half to consummate their new relationship?
She couldn't even get Damon to go to the grocery store after ten years, let alone abandon all of his responsibilities for another country.
Elena shook those thoughts out of her head as she danced because it wasn't about that—at least it couldn't be anymore, if she wanted to salvage whatever relationship she could with Bonnie. She needed to get over Damon. She needed to realize that he was no longer an option, and she was better off without him because he was in love with somebody else. And she needed to remember that Bonnie was her friend and she'd be extremely hurt by the fact that she slept with Enzo; especially after calling her a whore and vowing to never speak to her again because she fell for Damon.
She was still disappointed in herself for that.
There was a difference between what she and Bonnie had done, and she knew it. Because while Bonnie did a bad thing, she hadn't done it maliciously. Bonnie simply couldn't fight the feelings that she had any more for her best friend of thirty years, and she wasn't upfront about it because she didn't want to hurt Elena's feelings.
She slept with Bonnie's ex-fiancé because he was there. And he was just as desperate, emotionally charged, and fucked up that she was. She slept with him because she wanted to know what it was like to have one thing that belonged to Bonnie.
Except it backfired because she fell for him. And then he ghosted her.
Elena shook Enzo, Bonnie, and Damon out of mind, as chugged the rest of her drink; much to Nora's shock and enjoyment, as she grinned at her when she finished and Elena sighed, forged a smile and tucked a strand behind her ear.
"What?"
Nora moved in, and with her thumb wiped the remnants of alcohol from the corner of her lips, which made her heart involuntarily skip a beat before she spoke.
She still hadn't gotten used to whatever that was.
"You're having fun. I love to see it."
Elena smiled and shook her now empty drink for Nora to see.
"Too much fun. I'm all out. Gonna get a refill. Need one?"
"Whatever you're getting," Nora smiled, and Elena did too as she nodded.
"Copy. Be right back."
Nora kept dancing and Elena squeezed through the crowd back to the bar, happy to see that the men who'd paid for the drinks earlier were gone as she waited for the bartender to come over and take her order. Before thirty seconds could pass, she felt a body sidle up beside her and she internally groaned, immediately remembering why she didn't like going out in the first place.
Every bar was like a fucking shark tank.
"You can't be here alone. You are way too pretty," she heard, and she rolled her eyes because for fucks sake, did his lines also have to be that bad if he was going to waste her time? Also, not another guy with an accent.
"I'm not," she said, as she faced the handsome blonde male with the blueish-grey eyes that she had to admit were very beautiful, but she was very uninterested. "I'm here with someone."
"The cute brunette, I saw. Are you two girlfriends or girlfriends? I can work with both, either way," he winked and before Elena could respond, she nearly choked on her words when a familiar voice this time cut into the conversation, as he placed both hands on his friend's broad shoulders and spoke loudly enough that she heard every word as it spilled from his lips.
Those lips she'd kissed way too many times to forget.
"Julian, I'm ready for another hit when you are—" Enzo's words stopped when he met Elena's eyes and he dropped his hands from his friend's shoulder, standing up straighter though by the look in his squinted eyes, she could tell he was far from sober. And no, he wasn't just feeling it from the alcohol. "Elena?"
She didn't respond as she stared at him in disbelief, and she stuttered when the bartender finally walked over to ask for her order.
She felt like she was going to puke.
"A round of Jameson shots, love, thank you," Julian ordered before he turned back to Elena, fascinated by the fact that all color had drained from her cheeks as she stared at Enzo.
And it was then that he put it together.
"Elena... Wait, the Elena?" he asked before turning to Enzo, who also looked a grisly shade of white, even though he was barely coherent because of the cocaine and whiskey battling in his system. "Bonnie's friend. The one you…" Julian trailed off and when Enzo didn't respond, Julian smiled because he knew no answer was his answer "You were right… She's really hot,in a Girl Next Door type way. I guess that explains why she was so kinky in bed—"
"You told people about us?" Elena finally strung together a sentence and Enzo held up both hands defenselessly and she shook her head as she balled her fists. "Bragged about it?"
"Only Julian knows, relax," Enzo said sharply, and Elena scoffed at that as she suddenly felt dizzy being confronted with this in a public place. "Elena, I've been meaning to call. Look, I'm sorry for not showing up and blowing you off after what you said to me. I didn't know what to say back—"
"You can't be serious right now. I-I have to go," she spun around and walked off; making a beeline towards the women's bathroom as she hyperventilated and exhaled a deep breath the second she locked the door behind her.
It wasn't like she didn't expect to see him ever again. It was a small town. She knew that she would.
But it still hurt.
Especially when she remembered just how hard and fast she'd fallen for him after it was just supposed to be a friends with benefits situation.
She cared. Too much.
And now, seeing how much of a joke he believed her to be, because he seemingly boasted about it to whoever the blonde scumbag was that tried to hit her on just moments before he even walked over, make it hurt even more because she meant nothing to him all along.
Apparently, she was just another kinky lay.
Elena was dragged out of her thoughts when she heard a knock on the door and Nora's voice on the other end. She silently cursed to herself before clearing her throat and offering a response.
"Hey Nora!"
"Elena, are you okay? I couldn't find you at the bar. I was worried."
She took in a deep breath when she heard Nora call her name again before she pulled the door open, forcing a smile onto her lips as she stared at her and nodded her head though Nora didn't seem to be buying it at all.
"I'm fine, I just think the Fireball hit me," she lied, and Nora bit her lip at that as Elena tucked a strand behind her ear and walked out. "Are you ready to go, by the way? I'm just not feeling it right now—"
"Elena," they both heard and both girls turned around to see Enzo standing in the hallway and Elena's heart nearly stopped as he approached, and Nora held up a hand to stop him before he came any closer; venom instantaneously in her eyes.
"What the fuck could you possibly want?"
"I need to talk to Elena; to apologize," he slurred slightly as Nora's eyes remained wide and Elena's entire body trembled. "I fucked up. I really fucked up, and I am so sorry."
Nora blinked at that and scoffed as she followed his eyes and stepped in closer towards him, bravely, while Elena felt her heart beating so fast, she thought she just might have a heart attack.
"Bonnie is the one you need to apologize to, Enzo, for costing her, her job—"
"I know, I know. And I will. One person at a time, and Elena's here so she's first," Enzo said as he squeezed past Nora and her eyes widened as Elena shook her head, but he didn't stop advancing towards her. "Elena, I'm so sorry. About what Julian said, about what I did; I never meant to hurt you. Because you're great; you are so great and I just wasn't ready for that, you know? I wasn't ready for someone to actually care about me in that way; to want me, all of me—"
"Enzo—"
"I shouldn't have done it, because I broke your heart. And I knew what I was doing, leading you on, but you didn't know. You had no idea we weren't on the same page and I'm so sorry—"
"Elena, what the hell is he talking about?" Nora asked and Elena felt her eyes begin to well up with tears as she held them back and she watched the slow realization form on Nora's face as she glanced between them and finally pieced the puzzle together.
"Nora…"
"Him?"
"I—" Elena started and stopped because really, what was there to say other than yes?
"Enzo. It's time to go. Now. Let's leave the ladies to sort this one out," they heard as Julian walked over with a devious gleam in his eyes as he grabbed his friend by the arm and left the two girls standing alone in the dark hallway.
The muffled sound of the bass still wasn't loud enough to mask the awkwardness between them.
You could hear a pin drop.
"So, this guy that you've been so broken up about the past month was Enzo? Bonnie's ex-fiancé? Your best friend's ex-fiancé?"
"I know. I know I am horrible person. And I can explain if you'll just listen—"
"The Jaguar in the driveway," Nora cut her off and Elena exhaled shakily as the brunette's green eyes grew wide. "It was his. When I came over to comfort you, because you were heartbroken about Damon and Bonnie, he was already at your house? Was that the first time?" she asked and when Elena didn't respond, and Nora let out a humorless laugh as she shook her head. "You're… unbelievable."
"Nora, wait—" Elena said but the brunette didn't.
Instead, she followed her as she stormed out of the bar and into the parking lot where Nora already had the Uber app open to book a ride home. Elena swallowed hard as she stood in front of her, and the girl avoided making eye contact with her until Elena's hands landed on her shoulders forcing her to look up.
"Nora, just listen—"
"I'm a fucking idiot, aren't I?" she responded, and Elena pressed her cherry red lips shut as Nora's green eyes remained fiery; no hint of simmering down as she stared at her so intensely, Elena swore she could've bore a hole right through her if she wanted to. "I'm an idiot. For thinking you were somebody else; someone who wouldn't do this to Bonnie."
"I know; I know that I fucked up—"
"You sure did, Elena. And I'm not quite sure what you're going to do when she hears about this. Because she will find out, you know. The truth always comes out—"
"I'm going to tell her," Elena shot back, and Nora remained silent as she followed her sincere eyes and Elena exhaled a deep breath. "I… know that I have to tell her. I wasn't planning on apologizing without making sure that she knew exactly what she was potentially forgiving me for," Elena said as she wandered over to the curb and sat down quietly, with her hands folded over her lap, still shaking while she looked down at the cobblestone road. "And… I wouldn't even have the strength to consider talking to her and being honest if it weren't for you, Nora, You… kind of changed my life." Nora remained stoic at that—unmoved from her position, as her arms still were crossed over the chest of her dress and Elena exhaled deeply before looking up and meeting her eyes. "You are… such a good person, Nora; such a loyal, honest, trustworthy person. You are kind, you're sweet, you… made me feel like I was worth taking a chance on. Like I was worth something, when I've felt pretty lost and worthless, for so fucking long," Elena said candidly, as a tear streamed down her cheek and she captured it with her hand. "And I get it if you hate me for this; I'd hate me too—"
"I don't hate you, Elena. I hate that I'm disappointed in you," Nora finally responded as Elena sniffled and quietly listened. "Because you're so much better than that; you're better than him. How did this happen? Why did this happen?"
"I wanted to talk to him about Bonnie; about what he did. And… somewhere down the line, the conversation took a turn and I realized that I… I was just so jealous of how much he still cared about her. And I wanted that. I want that," Elena admitted as Nora sighed. "I wanted to get back at her, for taking away the only guy who almost gave me that."
They sat in silence for a moment and Nora ticked her jaw at that before she spoke again. This time, in a calm voice, though her body was burning up inside.
"But…you didn't have that, at the end of the day with Damon. Because he loved Bonnie. And…the things you told me about this Mystery Guy; the one who'd come over and cook dinner, have sex with you, then skip out. The one who didn't turn you down when you told him how you felt, and then you never heard from again— the night that I found you at the bar, when he stood you up and embarrassed you. Elena, he wasn't worth even one tear that you cried, and it makes me sad because I feel like you still don't realize that yet—that you don't need Damon, or Enzo, or even me to establish your self-worth. You have to do that. And you can't if you keep self-destructing—"
"I know, I know," Elena nodded as she swallowed hard, and Nora pursed her lips at that before finally sitting beside her at the curb. "I… don't know why I do this to myself every time. Why I am so fucking insistent on watching my life go up into flames."
Nora turned to meet Elena's eyes at that, and the doe-eyed girl blinked back a few tears that began to form, before clearing her throat and staring straight back.
"I think," Nora started and used the pad of her thumb to wipe the smudged mascara on Elena's cheek, "that a part of you likes the tragedy. Because your life has been a tragedy. You lost your parents too soon; you almost died, with them and you have survivor's guilt because you didn't. You… grew incredibly attached to Damon, because you bonded over death. And when he left and came clean about how he felt for Bonnie, you sought out the very next person who had even more trauma than the last, because pain is what you know, Elena. Suffering, guilt, and heartbreak—you're drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. You like to watch things die, because you still believe it should have been you, not them. You still haven't accepted the fact that you should be here; happy, and healthy, and loved… You're truly terrified to find a love that is good for you, because you'll have to let go all of these things that you think that you are… The things you've accepted because you think they're what you deserve."
Elena inhaled deeply at that as she followed Nora's eyes and she watched as Nora's hand dropped from her cheek, and she involuntarily grabbed it; her fingers hot to touch, as they formed against hers and she exhaled shakily as she traced Nora's palm before looking up again and narrowing her gaze.
"How do you explain this then?" Elena asked breathlessly as her voice dipped into a soft whisper and Nora watched on, while the girl dragged her index across her hand. "You're… not a disaster at all… and I…like you," she admitted, as her heartbeat sped up and she looked up again at Nora's glowing cat-like eyes. "I—"
Before she could finish her words, a black Chevy Traverse pulled up; license plate matching the one on Nora's screen and she cleared her throat as she stood up, and Elena's fingers fell away from her hand almost instantly; as if they'd both sobered up, and the Universe ended the moment.
Elena's body hadn't quite stopped tingling though.
"There's my ride," Nora muttered as she slung her bag over her shoulder, and Elena nodded as she avoided her eyes, before the girl in the dress stopped in her tracks and turned to face her once more, with softened, green eyes. "Are you coming?"
Elena's expression turned to gentle surprise at that, but she nodded, immediately, and rose to her feet; not caring that she hadn't even gotten her jacket out of coat check, as she climbed into the Uber beside her and shut the door before the car took off.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, as the man drove and Elena looked at the suburban streets passing her by out the window and closed her eyes, until she felt Nora's hand on hers and she faced her with a look of surprise. The girl continued to stare straight ahead, without ever looking into her eyes, as the words fell from her lips and directly onto Elena's ears.
"I like you too."
XXXXX
"Are we ready?" Bonnie called up the steps, as she checked her watch, and it was nearly 8 AM. "Please tell me you're not still getting dressed, Damon—"
"Relax McHaughty, I am ready, and we are out the door as soon as Stefan stops quaffing his hair."
"Hair's been quaffed since 5:55 this morning. Don't blame me," Stefan appeared from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in hand, and as promised, his hair perfectly styled.
Damon snatched the cup much to his brother's annoyance, took a long sip, and hummed a satisfied tune as Bonnie scoffed with a smirk and Stefan rolled his eyes before taking his drink back.
"If you ever decide to give up on the firefighting thing, barista would be a fantastic career choice for you."
"Shut up, Damon."
"Oh my God, can we? We gotta go," Bonnie snapped and both brothers obediently grabbed the luggage and followed her step outdoors to the blackRange Rover that Damon rented for the drive. "Shotgun, by the way," Bonnie winked at Stefan and he playfully groaned at that as he began to load the luggage in the back, and she turned to face Damon as he started the car. "This is probably the nicest car I'll ever sit in, so I'm gonna need to be upfront."
"Well, then, I guess it's a good thing I figured you'd say that, so I… took it upon myself to get you one for your birthday. Surprise?"
Bonnie's mouth opened up to speak and then she stopped. Then she started again as the shock began to quickly materialize on her face and Damon smirked devilishly as she met his eyes and exhaled loudly while she tried to find her words, and he just stared at her with a look of unadulterated satisfaction on his face.
"You what?!"
Before he could answer, Giuseppe and Gail walked outside and Bonnie attempted to swallow back the surprise in her tone from Damon's previous statement as she greeted them and walked over to give them both hugs and say her farewells, until they came to Mystic Falls next month.
"Thank you, so much. For literally everything," Bonnie said, as they both smiled at her when she pulled away from the embrace. "I feel like I overstayed my welcome—"
"You are welcome. Anytime, Bonnie. You're a part of this family—now and forever," Giuseppe said with a smile and one crossed onto Bonnie's lips as well as his blue eyes met hers. "I'm happy that Damon has you. You're the best thing to ever happen to him," he said confidently, and she blushed at that, tucking a strand behind her ear.
Bonnie took a step back to allow Stefan to hug his father and stepmother, and she watched as he whispered a few words into his father's ear before kissing him on the cheek, and then doing the same to Gail as he bid her his farewell.
And then there was Damon; hesitant to walk over at first, as he stood several feet away, but finally came in closer, with both hands dropped at his sides before he hugged Gail and kissed her cheeks, and then faced his father who stared at him, not sure what to expect as his oldest remained silent, looking into his eyes.
"I guess this is it," Damon breathed, and his father offered a nod.
"For now, Damon. You'll see me again. I promise."
Damon chewed his bottom lip at that and exhaled deeply as he followed Giuseppe's gaze before he stepped in again, and finally met him, face to face.
"But just in case you don't," Damon started, as he reached in for a hug and held onto his father tightly, as he buried his head against his shoulders and instantly cursed himself for the tears that formed into his eyes almost immediately and dropped onto Giuseppe's suit jacket while he held on. "I love you, Dad. And I'm sorry. I know that there's more to say; much more to say—"
"I know," Giuseppe rubbed Damon's hair. "I know, son."
He held onto him for what felt like a century and a second all at once, and when he pulled away, Damon's cheeks were pink as he cupped then and smiled; his own eyes glossy with tears that never fell but threatened to the longer he looked at his son, and saw the mixture of hope, fear, pain, and love in his eyes.
"I love you too," Giuseppe said clearly, and Damon smiled at that, as Giuseppe wiped away a tear that stained his cheek and lowered his tone so that only he could hear it, as the others stood a safe distance away, voyeurs to the incredibly vulnerable moment that could very well be the last of his lifetime. "And Bonnie…"
"I know. I…" Damon glanced over his shoulder at the girl, who was now engrossed in conversation with Gail and Stefan before he turned back to his Dad and he smiled. "Voglio chiederle di sposarmi. I want you to be around to see it."
Giuseppe smiled at that and hugged him one more time and patted him on the chest encouragingly.
"In bocca al lupo. Not that I believe you'll need it."
"I'll take it anyway," Damon smirked as did his father before they walked back over to the group and Damon clapped his hands together with finality as he met both Bonnie and Stefan's eyes with a shrug. "I think we're ready."
Goodbyes were exchanged one last time, before the three climbed into the Range Rover and Damon sighed as he looked in the rearview mirror at his brother, who flashed him a soft smile, then at Bonnie who did as well, before he took his hand into hers and kissed it before pulling out of the driveway.
"So," Bonnie said, and he looked at her again; enamored by her stare and the huskiness in her voice, as she held onto his hand and stroked his skin. "You didn't actually buy me a fucking car, did you?"
A/N: Hey everyone! So sorry for the extended hiatus. I started and stopped this chapter about 50 times, and I couldn't quite get it right. I hope it was a satisfying comeback and I PROMISE I have already begun work on the next installment, so this will be updated sooner rather than later. Thanks for reading, if you still are. Please drop your thoughts and feedback as that's definite motivation for me to keep going with this. And yes, at the end, Damon told his father he is planning on proposing to Bonnie. When? You'll just have to read to find out. Love you all and I hope everyone's been staying safe.