Next chapter on the 13th of January.
Fai doesn't waste another moment talking to him and just storms past them both. Kurogane steps aside, not stopping him either and why does it hurt after what the ninja's done for him? Why does it hurt that he doesn't stop him from doing something stupid? He doesn't want to be stopped- thinks he could actually really kill the man if he stopped him- but why does it hurt?
He hears Mokona crying out his name and ignores the small creature.
It hurts him too, hearing it call for him but Sakura is the only one in real danger now- she needs him more than any of the rest of them do.
He's disgusting really- he needs to be needed and that's the only real reason he's going to find the princess.
He's so selfish. He always has been.
"Do you think you're going to find the princess?"
The voice comes from behind him and he almost whirls on it, hating the fact that this man is questioning him after what he's done.
"And if I am?" Fai asks, hating the pitch of his voice, not his, as he grits his teeth, eyes unerring on the horizon. Something stops him and he can't go forwards and he hates that he clings to the man's words like this because he should hate him- he does hate him- more than anything except himself.
"Wait with us." The ninja asks, voice even, not a plea or a suggestion or an order.
Fai hates that too. The way he makes him want to stay just by asking. He pauses. There's no way he can look at the man
"You know she'll be hurt. You're not getting your back healed because you know there isn't much medicine in this world and that she'll need it when she gets back." The mage counters, fists by his sides as his eyes flicker back to where he can't see, glaring.
"Kurogane-san..." Mokona whispers and Fai shouldn't catch something so small but he does, hears the small catch as the creature cries over them all.
"What if she can't come back no matter what she wants." Fai mutters, glaring at the ground in front of him.
"If she's just hurt that's…" He pauses, hating himself as he says it, "okay." He hisses out.
What if she is so badly hurt that she needs him right now and he's not there?
"But what if she dies?"
What if he's the most worthless out of them?
"Then she'll never come back!" He shouts, his nails cutting into the flesh of his palms.
What if she never comes back? What would happen to them?
"The princess knows that. She's been prepared for that and she went anyway." Kurogane says, mocking Fai with the evenness of his voice and his acceptance of just letting the princess get hurt.
Fai turns, letting his gaze burn into the ninja.
"If you knew that then why did you let her go?" He says, his own voice brittle and colder than the Ceressian wastelands.
Those red eyes pierce through him but they can't do anything because he is ice and fire and so incredibly old and this mortal man can't affect him.
And yet he does. Somehow.
"That's why." The ninja says, "The princess said she'll return and I trust her so I'll wait even though it's more painful to wait than to go along and help her."
Fai turns completely, unable to look at the man any longer.
"Well I can't wait." He says, walking towards the horizon because Sakura is somewhere out there and he won't let her be hurt any more than she already must be.
"Are you that afraid to believe in someone else?" Says that voice again, patient.