Next chapter is on the 21st of November.
Fai doesn't know what to say.
That man stares at him, face blank, nothing there.
Fai almost thinks him the monster as they stare at each other.
He wants to ask what, why, to demand some kind of explanation even though he knows that nothing could satisfy him ever- nothing could be enough to justify what has happened to him.
His teeth feel like they could bruise as the anger boils in him.
His eyes burn.
"What the fuck do you mean?" Fai hisses, feels prickling all the way down his spine to where it ends now. A fucking awful reminder of everything that's happened- of what he's being forced to endure.
He wants to dig his nails into the bed, doesn't want to ruin the thing that the princess needs.
He wants to dig his nails into himself, doesn't want to show that weakness in front of this man.
He wants to dig his nails into this man's chest, to do something to retaliate, to hurt him for what he's done.
But he also doesn't at the same time.
He's so fucking tired of it, of everything, of the fighting and hatred and the burning dryness in his throat.
"Fuck you." He spits out, barely able to as he buries his face in his hands, feels the itch where his new ears are rooted into his skin, scratches it.
"Hey." There's shifting and Fai ignores it, still letting his nails drag across his scalp where they can, feels the relief in it even though the itch is so much deeper than he can reach.
"Hey."
There's the scent of blood in the air and there are hands, strong, unyielding, careful, on his wrists.
Fai looks up.
His fingertips are covered in blood again.
Beyond them are red eyes, determined, fixed on him as if he has ever mattered once in his life.
Fai cries.
The man looks away.
He opens his mouth.
"I'm sorry that what I did made everything happen to you the way it has. I couldn't let you die." He says.
There's a pause, a swallow, so evident in a man so still, so controlled in everything except his own anger.
"The kids wouldn't be able to cope- or the meat bun." He says.
And Fai can imagine, so easily that he can almost hear it; 'I couldn't lose you.'
And yet- he still can't forgive him so easily.
He tears his own gaze away, searches for his own words.
"Do you think that this is easy?" He asks- the first words that come to his mind- not the ones he wants or needs to say but those ones are so lost to him right now as he feels dizzy and sick.
The response takes a moment but it's certain.
"No." Says that man.
Fai looks back at him and his eyes are honest, his grip still firm.
And yet.
Fai cannot forgive him.