Some readers I'm sure will realize that this was a split chapter. This is the revised version, enjoy!
...
Unlucky episode 4 thought Shingai to himself, a frisson of fear sliding past his defenses. It was an old legend really, but more than once, back in his tv show days, had the old legend proven true. Something always went wrong with episode four.
Shingai had only shown up to this rehearsal because he'd heard from his AD that Takashi-san planned to stick close to their stars' sides while they did it. Shingai couldn't really figure why she would though. Their cast had been nailing their scenes all week, why bother to attend a rehearsal?
In any case, when Shingai had walked in, Tsuruga had been near Noa and Jin, and they'd been laughing. He'd thought he'd come just in time for rehearsal to start. But, after a couple minutes of this, Shingai had looked around, and caught sight of the expression that Takimoto-san, and some of the other crew members who were loitering around wore. They showed signs only of boredom and aggravation. Shingai had frowned, and tried to pick out Takashi-san from the crowd. When he saw her, his uneasiness only deepened. Her expression was completely blank, but her arms were crossed, and the hand that gripped her script was fisted so tightly that he could see shades of white on her knuckles.
He had returned his attention to the rehearsal, trying to slip in along the wall nearest where the others were, as unobtrusively as possible. Takashi stirred slightly as he sidled up to her.
"What's happening?" He muttered quietly.
Her lips thinned. "Watch."
Kyoko had stopped Ren, Noa and Jin, and had called for them to start again, so they all took it from the top and Shingai watched it rapidly unravel.
As soon as they got to the first confrontational dialogue, Tsuruga frowned.
"Ah I'm sorry, hold on a second. Let me try it this way."
Shingai thought that was fine, at first. Then Tsuruga did it twice more, and Shingai took a closer look at how Kyoko was holding herself. She was stiff as a board. It got worse every time Ren interrupted her dialogue, or his own, to ask for adjustments. Shingai felt a nervous sweat begin to bead along the nape of his neck.
"How many times have they done this?" He asked Takashi.
Her brow furrowed, "This is the fifth time they've 'taken it from the top'."
"Shit." Shingai mumbled, running an aggravated hand through his hair. Ren was strict with his work sure, and this wasn't the first time he'd seen Ren and Kyoko upset each other, certainly, but something about this felt different.
And so, he stood there, and he watched Ren attempt to turn, twist, and slide past the dialogue, and the blocking during the scene rehearsal, like some kind of contortionist clown character. The boy was doing his damnedest to avoid the emotionally impactful beats of the scene Takashi had written.
Ten minutes later, Shingai's analysis was sharper. Kyoko never said no to Ren. Ren even ever-so-slowly changed how and where he stood, so Kyoko couldn't do her blocking correctly, and she still only passively reacted. Any time Ren did this, or interrupted her dialogue or his own more than three times, Jin or Kyoko would stop the scene, and ask to take it from the top again. Takimoto-san was growing increasingly flustered each time she had to repeat her lines to Ren or Kyoko. Noa was becoming stonelike, and Jin and Kyoko were becoming increasingly colder. Shingai watched this all carefully, and watched the fury build inside of Kyoko.
Shingai had no doubt that Kyoko had never seen her acting idol do something like this in any of the work they'd done together. He could only imagine how she must have felt. Fifteen minutes further in, he saw the exact moment that was the catalyst for the consequential fallout.
Kyoko went to bow, as her blocking of the scene elaborated, and Ren interrupted once more. Shingai watched him, a grim foreboding overcoming his previous concern. Unlucky episode four.
"Maybe we could have them change the blocking. Don't you think that'd be a better idea?" Ren asked.
Kyoko stilled, only half-finishing her bow. She froze there for a moment, but Ren didn't notice. He was studying the script with a furrowed brow, and to Shingai's comprehension, his demeanor appeared completely dismissive of Kyoko's efforts.
When she didn't respond, Shingai watched Ren glance at her. Irritation crawled across the young man's face and Shingai was abruptly reminded of how young Ren was.
"Mogami-san, I asked you a question." he frowned down at her.
Takimoto-san was staring at her own script in confusion, but was the closest to Mogami-san, and so noticed her face before Ren did. Shingai thought that it was telling that Takimoto-san choose that exact time to squeak out,
"Bathroom break!" and she beat a hot path out the studio door.
"Honestly Mogami-san, will you-" that was as far as Ren got before Kyoko's face rose up and her deadly furious glare was shown to the whole room. Shingai heard one of the loitering crew members say faintly,
"Oh shit."
Shingai sympathized, and decided now would be a very good time to interfere. He sighed, and pushed himself up off the wall and headed in their direction.
Ren appeared even more frustrated now, as he took in Kyoko's look. He scoffed, "There's no need for that. If you could simply respond as to-"
Even Shingai was surprised to see Kyoko's hand fly through the air, quick and precise. Ren was promptly interrupted as Kyoko's script was hurled at him, hitting him solidly in the chest. Ren stared, mouth agape, surprise and hurt erasing whatever agitation had been on his face previously. The other inhabitants of the room inhaled almost as one in their shock.
"How dare you. How dare you do this now." Kyoko's fists were balled up in her fury, and her wrath was unlike anything Shingai had ever seen from her before.
"You dare pull this here. I knew you were a coward Tsuruga Ren, but I thought you at least had some professional integrity."
Ren's dumbfounded face was quickly twisting into outrage, "I'm just trying to protect you!"
Kyoko's fists curled and uncurled in rapid succession as she visibly restrained herself, "You coward." She hissed this, her voice cold and vicious.
Ren was scowling again, "This scene can be rewritten! We can change the blocking!"
A fury ignited in Shingai just then, and he stepped up to them. Ren and Kyoko's eyes widened as they caught sight of him, and the expression on his face.
"That is quite enough." Shingai studied the pair of them, doing his best to bank his own temper. But then Ren made the mistake of opening his mouth, protests filling his face. Anger rippled through him again.
"Be silent." Ren paled as he realized what he almost did and Shingai recognized the look on his face in some other detached part of himself that had been filing away the boy's reactions and details since he'd known him.
"Let's be absolutely clear here." Shingai began, his voice quiet, but no less deadly, as he studied Ren.
"This farce of a rehearsal you have been putting on, and wasting everyone's time with for nearly an hour now, this was due to your distaste for this scene in particular, do I have that right?"
He quirked an eyebrow up at Ren when he didn't answer, only stared at him, mouth opening and closing without any sounds making it out. Shingai couldn't help but let out a small, dark chuckle. He walked around him, tucking his hands behind his back as he walked.
"Absolutely unbelievable. The great Tsuruga Ren, defeated by a scene like this. This…This is the scene that he doesn't like. Oh he's fine with murder, he's fine with bloodshed, but this, this is what fells the great and mighty Tsuruga Ren. Tell me Tsuruga, are you uncomfortable? Does emotional vulnerability perhaps make you feel all itchy?" Shingai almost marveled over the mockery he heard in his own voice. He couldn't remember the last time he was so infuriated.
"Did you think you got to sit on a throne all damn day while you were here? Did you think this wouldn't be hard? Did you think you'd get to be all nice and comfy on this job, simply because I'm the one that gave this job to you?"
He absently recognized the expression on Kyoko's face as one of fascinated horror, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Did you think it was okay for you to disrespect your acting partner like that? Did you think it was okay to waste their time?" Shingai gestured to Noa and Jin, who exchanged worried looks.
Ren's back was trembling, and Shingai noted that he had crumpled up the script in one hand as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Shingai continued his circuit around until he faced Ren again. Ren started to speak,
"Sir, please, I'm so-"
"Be silent." Shingai snarled quietly. Ren's mouth snapped shut.
"Make no mistake, you are here because of me. Because that writer came to me." Shingai pointed to where Takashi was standing and he caught the moment when Ren's eyes widened with panic.
"Why is that Tsuruga?" Shingai sneered as Ren searched for the answer, "Answer me."
"Because you're the best director in the business." Ren mumbled, almost indistinctly.
"Close. But no." Ren glanced his way again, uncertainty and fear battling for dominance on his face. Shingai was feeling pretty mean at the moment, and so simply thought, good.
Shingai shot him a withering stare, "She came to me because she believed that I had the capacity, the willpower, and the means by which I could turn her script into reality."
He began another circuit around Ren, hands still behind his back and his fingers flexing in agitation.
"And I looked at this script, and I found within it… something beautiful. A story that needed to be told. A story that is necessary for others to know and understand. And what did I do then Ren?"
Ren flinched as he heard Shingai say his first name and Kyoko's eyes were round and terrified, her hands clutching at her mouth.
"What did I do then Ren?" Shingai's voice was like a whip, cracking through the air, causing some others in the room to flinch away.
"You came to me." Ren's voice was almost inaudible by now.
"That's right, I did. Do you know why?"
Ren was still trembling a little, and shook his head, "No sir."
"Do not lie to me."
Shingai faced Ren again, daring the younger man to look him in the eye. Shingai was not disappointed when Ren raised his head to return his gaze.
"Because you believed I could do it. Sir."
Shingai smiled, and knew it was not a nice smile.
"Because I believed that you had the capacity to comprehend all its moving parts, and that you had the willpower to see it through. Because I believed in your passion, I believed you could be one of the powerhouses of this cast."
Shingai studied Ren, who was still pale.
"Did I make a mistake Ren?" Shingai asked, his voice icy.
Ren swallowed, bowed deeply, and said, "No sir!"
Shingai stepped back, satisfied.
"Good."
Ren rose back up, seeming shocked at the lack of anger in Shingai's voice. "Sir?" he said uncertainly.
Shingai gestured between Ren and Kyoko, as if to tell Ren to get on with it. He spied Takimoto-san huddling near the doorway, and he beckoned her in. She rushed to his side and he stared at Ren and Kyoko again and cocked his brow.
"Well? I'm waiting." Shingai said. Ren swallowed, faced Mogami-san, and bowed deeply once more.
"May I please try this with you one more time, Mogami-san?"
Kyoko considered his request, a fierce look on her face.
"Get up." she muttered finally. When he raised his head, she was glaring at him again.
Shingai and Misaki were the only ones near enough to hear, but she stared him down for a moment longer, then said,
"Do not disappoint me again. You will not like the outcome."
Even Shingai appeared a little disconcerted when their group finished the scene rehearsal flawlessly on the next go around. Shingai looked as if was going to say something, but Kyoko only exited the room, her lips pressed tight together and an angry sneer on her face. No one dared to stop her. And so, Ren found himself hightailing it out of there as well, making apologies for both of them to both Shingai and Takashi before exiting. He caught up with her, three hallways away from the studio rehearsal space, and when she turned to him as she heard him come up behind her, her fury hadn't lessened even a little bit.
"You know what sucks the most about this whole pointless rehearsal?! It's that I knew it was going to happen." Kyoko's voice was cold, and Ren flinched, and found himself staring at the tile.
"Sho-chan, Sho-chan! Will you play for me soon? Sho-chan! Won't you come over soon so I can hear you play? Sho-chan! Can't I hear you play soon?" Her voice was cruelly mocking, and Ren winced as he knew that was her self-loathing speaking.
Ren didn't dare glance up as her voice hardened, "Tsuruga-san, Tsuruga-san, do you have time to rehearse today? Tsuruga-san, Tsuruga-san! Do you have any time right now? I have a question about rehearsal. Tsuruuuga-san, we need to rehearse soon, when can we schedule a time to do that?"
Ren felt so ashamed in that moment, hearing her list off all the times she'd approached him, that he couldn't even find words to respond. The silence between them lingered as he remembered all the times he'd blown her off. Ren could only force himself to stop studying the hallway tile, once he heard her scoff.
"Unbelievable." The disgust on her face made him feel about two inches tall.
"Please Mogami-san, please, just let me explain. "
"What is there to explain? I told you months ago that I never wanted to be a person that let you down. I thought that might have been the moment when you began to trust me. I guess not though. I'm not even surprised. I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop for a while now. The closer we got, the friendlier we became, the more certain I got that it would drop."
Her tone of voice was so withering that Ren was stunned into speechlessness.
"And you know what hurts the most?" she asked, her trembling hands curled into fists at her sides as she stared at the floor.
Ren was too overwhelmed by panic and shame to be able to respond.
She lifted her head, her gaze boring into his, her lips pressed thin, and her eyes teary, "You said you believed we could get through this so long as we worked together. So what does that make you Tsuruga Ren? A liar or a coward?"
"Please, I promise you, I can prove that I'm not-"
"Not what? There's nothing to prove from where I'm standing. You dismissed me all week over this, or did you forget that? You even prioritized the next episode's work over this one's, so add hypocrisy to the list of ways you've disappointed me."
Ren stared, despair overwhelming him as he saw a tear drip down her cheek, "Mogami-san, I am so sorry, please, let me-
"I don't need an apology. I trusted you to do your job! And I thought you trusted me!" She turned away briefly, a hand passing over her face, before she abruptly turned back to him, "The only thing I want from you right now is a guarantee."
"Yes, of course, please, anything I can do, I will."
Ren desperately searched her features for any sign that this could work. When her lips twisted bitterly as she stared at him, he felt a cold sense of dread seeping into him. But she spoke before he could say anything.
"You will not let this happen again. Not for the sake of your pride, not for your mistaken concern over my emotional state. Not for anything. We are professionals. We act. We question what we're doing only for the right reasons. And that in there, those weren't the right reasons were they?"
Ren swallowed hard, and he nodded guiltily in answer to her last question. After a few seconds passed, he found he couldn't hold her challenging stare and so dropped his eyes to the floor.
"I won't let this happen again. Mogami-san, I am so sorry, truly, please believe me."
Kyoko said nothing. Ren licked his lips nervously and glanced back up. Kyoko had turned away.
Before she could bolt on him, he repeated himself more firmly, "I promise you Mogami-san, it will not happen again. I promise."
She turned her head slightly to study him, "If I've been taught anything in my life, it's that cowards and liars promise a lot. When the man that first inspired me to act shows up again, tell him that I'll be waiting on the battlefield."
It was undeniable that her provocative statement inspired a heart-wrenching ache within Ren. Beneath that though, her challenge fueled his competitive spirit, and he marveled at the dichotomy of his reaction. She studied him for a moment, wondering at his silence, but then Ren said,
"As you wish."
Kyoko turned away again, and her last words drifted back to him, faint but demanding.
"Do not disappoint me again."
Ren's hands balled into fists at his sides, but he bowed after her, even though she never looked back. When he looked back up out of his bow, Takashi-san had come across him. She raised her eyebrow and Ren swallowed guiltily. He bowed again.
"I'm so sorry Takashi-sensei! This won't happen again!"
"Yes, you've said that. Tell me, did you run off my best actress here, or did you two make up?"
"I uh, I think we're probably okay."
Takashi hmmed, staring after where Kyoko had gone, then back at him once he stood upright again.
"Tell your boys we're doing that song."
Ren, nonplussed, could only stare for a moment, "Sensei?"
"That song, from the dinner. It fits unbelievably well. Be at the A/V room tomorrow at nine. Bring those boys."
Ren nodded, exhausted, but relieved that that was one less thing to worry about, "We'll be there Takashi-sensei. We won't let you down."
Takashi just hmmed again, as her fingers tapped her crossed forearms.
"Don't worry, I believe you."
Ren sighed, but then Takashi said,
"I'm not the one you're going to need to convince though. I look forward to seeing what this afternoon's shoot will be like."
Ren felt dread seeping like ice water down his spine as Takashi smirked, staring once more down the hallway where Kyoko had gone. A faint memory pierced that dread for a brief second, from weeks ago now, of Kyoko staring him down and the words, ...handle it. Ren was so ashamed in that moment that he nearly couldn't bear it. She'd trusted him again, and again, by showing him her more vulnerable side, and he'd panicked so much for the vulnerability that would be required of him in this scene, that he'd nearly broken that trust forever.
He would not make that mistake again.
Kyoko had escaped to the rooms cordoned off for wardrobe and makeup staff use as quickly as humanly possible after the disastrous scene with Ren. She sat curled up in the chair near where Nagahama-san, the on-set seamstress and Head of Wardrobe, was working diligently on some of the extra's kimonos.
She liked Nagahama-san quite a lot. Nagahama-san was sixty if she was a day, always kept her thick hair in a braid, and was always sweet, no matter how close it was to the deadline of something needing to be finished. Kyoko watched, her temper and her frustration easing as Nagahama-san's work-worn hands flew over the hems she was finishing, her needle pushing in and out, in and out.
This was more soothing than even Kyoko expected and after about ten minutes of this, she found herself sighing, feeling more upset and despairing than anything else at this point. Quietly she muttered, "Ugh. Men."
Nagahama-san chuckled. "What happened Kyoko-chan? You hardly ever have a bad word to say about anybody. Well, so long as they're doing their jobs of course."
Kyoko didn't really want to cause tension by bad-mouthing others while working on this production so she simply shrugged, "Where's Konou-san? Not around yet?"
Konou-san was head of the makeup staff and Kyoko often thought she and Nagahama-san were relaxing to be around. Konou-san had been part of the Ring Doh II staff too, with some of the other crew Kyoko knew from back then. While she'd been part of this production, Kyoko had enjoyed getting to know her more, along with Nagahama-san.
Kyoko hadn't been expected to come by so early, as she had been scheduled to prep with wardrobe and makeup later, so she'd be able to have the time to rehearse that she needed. The rehearsal time being cut short as it were, she was wondering if she'd upset the regularly ordered schedule. Kyoko felt a fresh surge of frustration and guilt as the thought crossed her mind.
"She's with the assistant director. She and Iwasaki-san were with the second shooting unit this morning. They needed to do some of the Akiyama household scenes, if I'm not mistaken," Nagahama-san was saying as she cut and tied her thread and began anew on another hem.
Kyoko sat some more, listening to the chatter of Nagahama-san, who was currently explaining that she was curious if Konou-san was actually crushing on AD Iwasaki-san at the moment, or not. Kyoko listened attentively to the proof Nagahama-san was listing off, happy to have something to take her mind off her own problems. Silence fell after a few moments, and Kyoko looked up only to catch Nagahama-san studying her thoughtfully.
"Something's on your mind Kyoko-chan, are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"
Kyoko heaved a sigh, worrying at her lip, but then said, "Well, I'm having problems with a coworker. He's being um…"
Nagahama-san interrupted, "Is this just a coworker? Because if he's more than a coworker, that affects the advice you're going to receive."
Nagahama Mariko watched in amusement as the young girl in front of her blushed to the roots of her hair. As Kyoko tried to stutter through an explanation, she stood, going to her fabric samples. She was having trouble deciding on some pieces she needed to work on for some of the final scenes of the production. Act six was going to cycle through every single season, to show time passing, and while Mariko couldn't wrap her head around how that was going to be edited just yet, she was a seamstress, not a director. Her focus needed to be on putting together some final color palettes to begin her work.
"Kyoko-chan, not to interrupt, but I could use your help while you're here." She gestured for her to stand and join her. Kyoko, curious, did so.
"What's up Nagahama-san?"
"Trying to put together some kimonos for act six. Help me out here and pick out some color palettes that I can start with."
Kyoko looked around eagerly, her own problems flying away in the face of this new challenge.
"Ah, they're doing a scene with cherry blossoms blooming, right? So here, we could do this cherry blossom pattern here for before they bloom, with a light pink, and then for the light summer style after the blossoms begin to fall, a deeper pink with this green and this light purple here, what do you think Nagahama-san?"
Nagahama-san dimpled when she smiled and Kyoko was pleased to see her nodding along. "And who should this be for?"
Kyoko thought about that for another moment, as she set aside the fabric samples and pulled out some oranges and greens that could be layered for kimonos for either autumn or all year around. Finally she replied,
"Akari-san. This should be for Akari-san. She's not yet married, and she's only twenty by Act 6, so the cherry blossoms and lighter colors should be for her. Oh, but this should be for the autumn festival kimono for Mi-chan. The colors are mature enough, and she should have something special for the first festival her and her baby attend." Kyoko pulled out a deep red fabric with orchid flower patterning and paired it with a green she'd already pulled out. Her mouth pulled down in a moue of frustration and Mariko quickly stifled her amusement as she saw it.
Mariko cleared her throat as she saw Kyoko was getting deeply absorbed in thought and said carefully, "What kind of man problems are you having then?"
"Well, to start, he was selfish, and a liar. And he couldn't even trust me to help!"
Mariko nodded sagely as Kyoko only frowned, and glanced down at some more fabric samples. Even as troubled as Kyoko currently was, Mariko could recognize that Kyoko had a true talent for pairing cloth, pattern, and color. Mariko wanted to push her to explore it more.
"Ah, how about this deep red with the pattern of chrysanthemums? Since you don't like the orchid?"
Kyoko shook her head, muttering, "No, if there's not one with a yellow jasmine pattern, it should be orchid. The colors at least wouldn't clash as much. Mi-chan is an adult in Act 6, mature and elegant. And she knows it. She'd wear nothing less."
Mariko smiled, and nodded along. She'd have to put in an order for a yellow jasmine pattern. Kyoko was right on the money with that one. "So what did he lie about?"
"He lied all week about preparing for this rehearsal! And not once when I asked him about rehearsals did he actually take it seriously! Not until it was too late to do otherwise. We shoot this afternoon and he just...he just, he was so dismissive. Why didn't he trust me!?"
Kyoko froze, as in her agitation she spilled all the beans she hadn't meant to. She daren't look up at Nagahama-san and tried to act like she was studying the fabric more in depth.
"Ahhh, men and their egos. They think they can handle everything, hm?" Nagahama tsked and pulled some fabric over to her to pair with something else she had grabbed. Kyoko relaxed marginally as it appeared Nagahama-san was simply sympathizing with her plight. Yes, they were just a couple coworkers chatting about their problems. Kyoko let out a small sigh of relief.
"He doesn't need to do everything by himself." Kyoko said quietly, "Sometimes I think he does trust me, but then stuff like this happens."
"Have you told him he can trust you?"
"Yeah. A lot."
"Ah, so he was just being dismissive then. It was an ego thing. Ah, men." Nagahama-san tsked again, shaking her head.
"Well, I know he was probably upset with the scene itself. It was hard to do, you know?"
Nagahama-san nodded along, "That seems reasonable. But he should trust you, right? You told him he could."
"Well, maybe, maybe that got a bit lost this week. He was really busy."
Nagahama-san laughed, "Kyoko-chan, you're so sweet. He should be more professional, right? Like you?"
Kyoko flushed, and mumbled, "Well, I'm not always professional all the time either. Our communication wires could have, uh, kind of got crossed…"
"Ah Kyoko-chan. You don't have to excuse his behavior to me. Seems to me like he should have known better. He was acting like that all week, right?"
"I'm not excusing anything! It is true, that uh, well, I uh, I could have communicated better too. It's not just his fault."
Kyoko turned to look at Nagahama-san, trying to show that she was serious, but was caught flat-footed when Nagahama-san only gave her a knowing smile.
"So he's not just a coworker then?"
Kyoko blushed, and looked away. Mariko couldn't help but chuckle.
"Some advice, Kyoko-chan. If you're working with someone you like, that's a difficult thing to do. Personal emotions get messy when something doesn't go right with work. If this is a personal problem you two have, and it spilled over into the workplace, recognize that it did so, and do better next time."
Kyoko listened, absorbed in both what she was saying, and the process of Nagahama-san pulling other fabric pieces out and pairing them together effortlessly. Kyoko joined her for this task too, glad someone could give her advice like this, and give her something else to think about.
"And I will say, if this is a fault of your, ah, coworker, not being ready to do his work, don't let that affect you two on a personal level. Because that's his flaw he needs to work on, and while you can be supportive while he learns to do better, you shouldn't take responsibility for the mistakes he makes on the way. You see?"
Before them sat several different fabric piles, colors and patterns beautifully arranged to complement each other. For the first time that morning, Kyoko smiled.
"Yes Nagahama-san. I see. Balance, in all things, yes?" She glanced at the older woman.
"Well said Kyoko-chan. And well done." Mariko said, as they studied the work they had done together.
"Thank you Nagahama-san."
"It was my pleasure."
When Ren and Yashiro entered the studio set for the last teahouse scene of Act Four, even they noticed the susurrus of sound that erupted around the room. Ren tried to studiously ignore the glare Yashiro was shooting him
"I leave you two alone for one rehearsal! One! Just to take care of a personal errand, and that's when you cause drama?!" Yashiro hissed as they settled into their chairs to wait.
"I apologize Yashiro-san." Ren was not nearly as sincere as his tone of voice implied. He was so utterly embarrassed by his shameful behavior from earlier, that he could only be relieved that a small group had witnessed it.
Yashiro sighed, and ceased his glaring to mutter to himself about irritating clients. Ren wanted to rebut some of his muttering, but thought he'd keep his thoughts to himself for the rest of the day. He wanted no more trouble. He simply waited patiently for Noa and Jin to show up.
Takimoto-san was already present and appeared to be walking through the blocking once more with the choreographer. He should apologize to her too. He'd flustered her so much earlier, and the poor girl had not deserved it in the least. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and forced himself to run through the scene he was about to do in his mind, step by step, as he waited for the rest of their group to appear.
Another ripple of interest ran through the room when Kyoko walked in, Kotonami-san and Oohara-san in tow. Ren winced, wondering if she'd requested the back-up or if they'd all met up by chance after the Akiyama household scenes that'd been scheduled for earlier. Kyoko was resplendent in her kimono and make-up as usual, and Ren looked away.
He once more ran through the scene, step by step, in his own head, forcing himself to focus on something else.
"Hey boss," Noa's voice piped up from his left, sounding slightly ashamed. Ren turned, realizing that Noa and Jin must have come in with the girls earlier.
"Hey." He replied, and glanced back at the set where they were finalizing camera set-ups.
"Tsuruga-san, we wanted to apologize for earlier. We all kept messing up and asking for redo's, but Director Shingai only scolded you and-" Ren interrupted Jin.
"I started it, it was my fault. He was right to do it." He smiled, trying to express his reassurance. Noa and Jin stared at him, apparently still worried, and then Yashiro spoke.
"Ren means that, he does. That's his sincere face," Yashiro also reassured them, "And even though you might feel bad over your own mistakes from earlier, trust the director, hm? He scolded Ren for a reason. And if Ren got scolded, he needed to be scolded. He was the senior actor in the scene, and it was his responsibility to make sure you kept focused if the director wasn't around at the time."
Noa and Jin sent exchanged worried expressions, then Noa said, "Alright, if you say so. We promise we'll nail it this time, just like that very last rehearsal. We promise."
"Do your best. I'm counting on you."
Noa and Jin smiled back at him, then went over to where the choreographer was still working with Takimoto-san. He was working with some pretty great people, he thought, as he watched them apologize to Takimoto-san as well. He looked away, and caught sight of Oohara-san studying him thoughtfully. Ren swallowed nervously. After how supportive she'd been last week, he felt a renewed sense of guilt for his behavior that morning.
"Ren, I know you're disappointed, and probably even depressed right now, but you need to stop letting it overwhelm you." said Yashiro, briefly glancing at him and then away, as he turned to study the atmosphere of the studio.
"I'll do my best Yashiro-san." Ren said and felt, more than heard, Yashiro sigh. Ren found himself fiddling nervously with his sleeve's cufflinks and forced himself to stop. He turned his gaze back towards Oohara-san. She returned his look, cocking her head inquisitively. Something about that, and something about her presence reminding him of last week, settled some of his nerves.
Ren didn't know why, but Oohara-san was clearly not as angry as Kyoko, or even Kotonami-san. Ren was currently terrified of Kotonami-san after the vicious way she'd snarled at him at lunch about his unprofessionalism. Ren thought he might be being a little overly dramatic, but Kotonami-san's threats about always making sure he always had decaffeinated coffee for the rest of his life might also be getting to him.
Still, he wondered at the expression on Oohara-san's face. He glanced over at the group of girls again, and saw someone fixing Kyoko's hair and the recognition came like a thunderbolt. I lived, and I loved, he remembered Oohara-san saying. Passion. It made me freer, more daring. Passion, it's an amazing thing.
Ren licked his suddenly dry lips. God, how idiotic he'd been. Shingai had been right to lambast him for his fear of showing vulnerability. He studied the set with a renewed fascination. Their last, flawless rehearsal, he'd been coldly calculating. Kyoko had returned that in kind and he had no doubt that it was part of the reason she was furious with him. Yayoi and Jack weren't coldly calculating here. They were passionate, despite themselves. They knew better, they knew, and still. Ren felt his heart began to race.
We experience nothing from the chances we never take.
This thought whispered across his mind.
"Yashiro-san." Ren spoke abruptly.
"Ren?"
"Do you have your video camera on you?"
"Of course I do."
"I have something I need to see. Please film this scene for me to playback later."
Ren felt Yashiro stare, but his manager pulled it out and got it situated a moment later.
"Thank you Yashiro-san. I appreciate your help."
"Of course Ren. That's what I'm here for."
Ren sent him a smile, and walked to the set to take his mark with Noa and Jin as Iwasaki-san directed them to do so. It was so much less gloomy an expression than what he'd had been showing since lunch, that Yashiro stared after him for a long while.
Yashiro pushed himself up off his chair and went to situate himself near Shingai's camera, but still keeping out of the way. Shingai was finalizing instructions for the crew members running hither and yon, and Yashiro felt anticipation stirring in the room.
"No, make sure you keep that camera there on Kyoko-san. Her body language is essential here, and she's a natural at it. Keep that in focus, and keep it as a close distance shot. She's feeling cornered here, remember the script direction. The trap is about to snap shut in her mind." Shingai was saying into his earpiece as he adjusted the lens on his camera.
Yashiro vaguely heard the crackle of words and static in response.
"Iwasaki-san, are the lights ready?"
Yashiro saw Iwasaki nod from across the way as everyone took their places.
"Make sure to keep two cameras on Tsuruga. We need one that keeps low, shooting at an upward angle. He's supposed to appear as if he's leading the scene, even though that's not the truth. Can everyone remember all that?"
Yashiro saw nods from the director of photography, Iwasaki-san, and various camera grips. Yashiro knew Shingai usually controlled the medium distance shot for dialogue, so he felt safe keeping to the left of Shingai.
Yashiro saw Kyoko, last to take her mark out of the group, step up onto set with dishes in her arms, and turned his handheld camera on to recording. After a couple more last-second adjustments, Shingai barked out across the studio.
"Action!"
…
Yayoi hadn't given a single thought to how unusual a request Akari-san had made until she entered the back room of the teahouse with her hands full of dishes to clean. That was, until she saw Jack Taylor sitting at a table, waiting for her. She stiffened, the dishes clattering in her arms. He looked up, quirking an eyebrow in sardonic amusement when he caught sight of her. Her lips thinned and she sat down her armful of dishes and stepped right back out of the room, only to run into Akari-san right outside the door.
"I'm so sorry Yoneda-sama, but the Commander wanted a word." Yayoi felt shock and disbelief run through her, but she recognized the worried expression Akari wore as she told her this.
"What is this?" Yayoi demanded.
Akari bowed hastily, a few times over, "I'm so sorry Yoneda-sama! He really wanted to talk to you, and he said he could get my kaa-san an appointment with the base doctor if I helped him, and her cough has really begun to worry me and-"
Yayoi closed her eyes in despair as Akari blurted this all out, and didn't stop explaining and apologizing for a full sixty seconds.
"Akari-san, that's enough." said Yayoi finally, as it appeared the younger girl might have begun to run out of steam
"Please Yoneda-sama, it's just the Commander, if he just wants to talk, what's the harm?"
Yayoi grimly studied Akari's bowing form, "Get up. We have customers that need attending to."
Akari stared, more worried and concerned than Yayoi had ever seen her.
"I promise I'll take care of them. Please, won't you talk to the Commander?"
Yayoi's lips twisted, "No need to worry, your mother will get her appointment."
Leaving a dismayed Akari behind her, Yayoi shoved through the backroom door again. She glared at the commander, who appeared inappropriately nonchalant as he stared out of a window near his table. Anger rose in her, but she said nothing and finally, the commander glanced her way questioningly. She sneered, and brushed by him, entering into the washing area that held the back door.
"My men are guarding the door in the back." his voice was dangerously soft, and Yayoi froze in her tracks as she noticed through the window, the shadows of the Petty Officers that typically accompanied the commander into town. Kyoko, even deep beneath Yayoi, immediately recognized the difference from their rehearsal earlier. There was heat in Ren's voice when before he'd said this coldly, and without any inflection whatsoever.
"As I am positive we have nothing left to say to each other, why were you so determined to get my attention that you had to bribe the help?!" she whirled to face him, her voice sharp.
Jack barked out a loud, harsh laugh. The side of Kyoko that was always dedicated to every little detail of how Ren acted, studied him fiercely through the lens of Yayoi carefully watching Jack.
"You've been holed up in that fortress you Yonedas have for nearly a solid week. What did you expect me to do?"
"Nothing. I expected nothing." she hissed, advancing towards him, her hands clenched in the layers of her kimono fabric. Kyoko felt her pulse racing as she did this, wondering if she was finally meeting the man in front of her on the battlefield.
He smirked as he turned away from the table, leaning against it with his legs spread wide and straddling the bench he was sitting on. "I presume you know your beloved husband came to the base yesterday."
Yayoi stopped a few feet away from him as he said this, her nerves quickly overwhelming her anger at his rude and arrogant behavior.
Jack's gaze was steely with displeasure as he studied her, "Imagine my surprise when my CO gave me the list of men who had volunteered for the mission we're undertaking tomorrow, with his name on it. Can you imagine how surprised I was then? As you well know, I am very aware of how much you two love and cherish each other. And yet, the loving, fairytale-like newlyweds are to be separated? This seemed so odd to me. Isn't that odd Yoneda-sama?"
Her heart felt like it was about to escape her chest, it was pounding so hard. She searched for anything to say in response to this, but her nerves had well and truly overwhelmed her good sense. Jack stood, slowly, and she hurried around him, desperate to get further away from his intimidating presence. He turned slightly, keeping her in his eyesight, and lips lifted in a mirthless smile.
"It made me wonder you know. How a pathetic man like that could have possibly gained your lasting affection. You, who trained practically from birth in the traditions of the Yoneda family. You, who could even run circles around Yoneda Michitada if it was a discussion regarding the stoic philosophy of Marcus Aurelius. You, who became a scion of the Yoneda family when your own sister stepped down in deference to your abilities."
She was frozen in place as he spoke, his words lifting all the veils she'd hidden herself behind. She stared down at the woodgrain of the floor beneath her, desperately trying to think of a plausible plan of escape.
"So I did some digging," he continued. "Asked around. Hell, even your own family dropped clues that helped me put it together." he paused.
Even then, Yayoi couldn't manage to lift her head, or to speak words of protest. Her thoughts of escape were fading as she realized their fruitlessness. Still, she stepped backward, trying to put distance between them. But for every step backward she took, he took a step forward, keeping her attention on him. His words and his presence were slowly but surely baiting her into a trap, and she felt as if it was about to snap shut on her.
"The day you turned sixteen, Yamamoto Daisuke asked your father for your hand. Your father turned him down flat, citing your age and your educational prospects. The day you turned seventeen, Yamamoto Daisuke once more asked your father for your hand. Your father denied him again." The commander paced nearer her as he talked, his tone almost hypnotic. She'd run out of space to maneuver in, and was stuck with a table behind her, and him in front of her.
"The day after you turned eighteen, your father was ensconced in a hospital room, unresponsive from a mugging attack in Yokosuka that Yamamoto Daisuke wound up saving your father from. He was praised even, as he got there just in the nick of time."
She trembled ever so slightly and his voice got quieter.
"The day after you turned eighteen, the Yoneda family invited Yamamoto Daisuke into their inner compound. They brought him there to thank him for saving Yoneda Michitada. They asked him, after showering him with food and drink and having you perform the tea ceremony for him, however could they repay the debt they had accrued with him. And Yamamoto Daisuke once more asked for your hand."
The trap snapped shut. Yayoi could do nothing but stare down at her hands where she'd clenched them together as he'd talked. Absently, she noted the tears that were dripping down her cheeks.
"Tell me, Yoneda-sama , how did you feel that day, when your mother agreed?"
She said nothing. Jack scoffed, and turned away, disgusted by her unresponsiveness.
When she glanced up again, the only evidence of her tears were the tracks they'd left behind. She watched his steps as he walked closer, and still didn't meet his gaze. They stood there for a moment longer in silence, and when she dared to meet his eyes once more, she saw that the expression on his face had twisted into something more desperate.
"Answer me." he demanded.
"To what end?" Yayoi, and Kyoko, asked the man, unable to to keep silent when he had that look on his face.
Jack clenched his hand tight around his uniform cap to try to control his anger. When that didn't work, he couldn't stop himself from expressing his anger further by shoving a pile of plates and bowls off the table he was near. Kyoko was able to bury her surprise the instant it flared up, but it was undeniable that a ripple of surprise ran through the room, when Ren just smiled in satisfaction when they crashed to the floor. Kyoko wasn't sure what it said about her, when an excited thrill ran through her as she watched his face.
Yayoi, however, simply raised her chin and stared Jack in the eye. His satisfaction dried up in an instant and he snarled his next words, his fury renewed. But Yayoi didn't even bat an eyelash at his temper.
"Why are you allowing this to happen?! He is leaving you. And for what?! For what?!"
Yayoi just looked at him, her expression blank, and empty. Jack's heart ached as he searched her face for an answer she refused to give. He felt like he was teetering on a cliff's edge when she finally spoke.
Yayoi bowed deeply, "Commander-san, as you are very aware of our circumstances now, I must ask a personal favor."
Jack felt dread overwhelming him, and his temper left him an instant as he began to beg, "No wait, please, Yoneda-sama, please, if you care for me in anyway-"
Yayoi talked over him, "Please, Commander-san, please watch over my husband while he is away."
Jack closed his eyes as despair swept over him and his let his uniform cap drop to the floor as a hand passed over his face.
"Yoneda-sama," he knew his voice was too raw, too emotional, and he didn't care, "Yoneda-sama, I knew you were cruel, but to ask this..."
His hand dropped away, and Jack's features twisted bitterly as he studied her silent form and her still downturned face.
"What do you think will be the outcome?" Jack demanded of her, striding forward and grabbing her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye, "What? He remains under my protection until we once more dock in Yokosuka after this mission? He arrives safely home and you live in a loveless, arranged marriage until one or the both of you shuffle off this mortal coil?" his gaze demanded her attention as he asked this, and she couldn't break free.
"Alternately, he does not survive this mission. And you feel both relief and guilt when you get the news. You think you are free. At least, until the Yoneda family once more decides to shackle you into an advantageous marriage. And maybe, just maybe, in this one you'll even have babies. And you will look at that husband, and at those children every single day, knowing that they were not the choice that you would have made yourself."
She finally tore her gaze away, and forced her face from his hand as he fell silent. She stepped away from him, and her heart raced as she tried to deny his words to herself and failed, utterly and completely.
"Am I wrong?" he asked, his tone less furious now.
In some deep, dark part of herself, she knew he spoke the truth. She closed her eyes as she also acknowledged that it simply did not matter.
She bowed again, "Lieutenant Commander Taylor-san, I beg of you, please do your best to keep my husband safe."
It seemed that was the commander's breaking point, and anger emanated from his every gesture, as he jerked her head up, his hand tight on her jaw. She stumbled a little, trying to orient herself, but he didn't let go.
"No, oh no. You will look me in the eye and know what it does to me when you ask me that." his lips were twisted, with a sneer on his face, but his eyes were desperately, desperately unhappy.
She swallowed hard, and her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. His eyes tracked that movement like a hawk, and she knew he could feel her pulse racing.
"Ask me Yoneda-sama," his voice was low, and cruelly mocking. Kyoko desperately wanted to hold him, and tell him it was okay. And she knew Yayoi felt the same. It made her heart ache.
She felt tears gathering at the corner of her eyes, and her voice was rough when she responded.
"Please, please keep my husband safe."
His eyes glittered with maybe tears, and his lips were still twisted into a snarl when he dragged his hand from her jaw, and moved it to the back of her neck. He pressed their foreheads together, and his next words were spoken quietly, his breath falling over her lips.
"Remember this moment Yoneda Yayoi. This is not what I wanted. This is not what you wanted. And you asked anyway. Remember this, because I promise you, I will never forget."
His face was absolutely blank when he stepped away from her, every inch the impressive Lieutenant Commander of the US Navy. Yoneda Yayoi did nothing but return his look, measure for measure, her posture and composure depicting nothing but the demure young proprietress she'd been trained to be. In neither of their demeanors, was there evidence of what just took place. He stepped back, away from her, toward the back entrance of the teahouse. He held her gaze for one moment more, before he turned his back on her.
"Remember this Yoneda-sama," she stiffened again as he faced away from her, "You never would have needed to ask in the first place. I would have watched over him, and kept him safe even if you had never asked. Because that is the duty of a commander, and it would have been dishonorable to do otherwise."
With that, he exited, and Yayoi was left alone in the backroom. Slowly, ever so slowly, she lowered herself to the floor, and laid her fingertips on the uniform cap he left behind. Another second passed, then her fingers curled into the fabric, and she curled her form over the cap as she dragged it into her lap. After a long, silent moment, her blank face crumpled as she began to sob, soundlessly, her chest heaving with the force of the emotion running through her.
It wasn't until she felt an arm around her shoulders that she realized the scene must have ended. She glanced up, tears still on her face, wondering if Ren felt as emotionally scraped raw as she did. As he gazed back, she noticed hints of tear tracks on his cheeks too, and she reached her hands up, to clasp them around his neck, and he lifted her effortlessly into his arms.
"Here, bury your face in my chest, Shingai is giving us a break. You can hide now." He whispered this quietly into her ear, and Kyoko promptly hid her face as he suggested.
There was only a quiet murmuring around the room as she felt him walk towards the exit to the outdoors. She let out another shuddery sob, and a sniffle, and felt him place a small kiss to her hair. He felt so warm that she couldn't help but curl into it more, smelling the ever-present scent of coffee hanging off him, mixed in with the clean smell of the clothing he wore.
She was interrupted from enjoying that relaxing sensation when he abruptly stopped walking.
"Oohara-senpai." She felt him dip his head slightly in deference, but it was the terminology that made her stop sniffling she was so surprised.
"Ren-kun. You two, you were... magnificent."
"Thank you Oohara-senpai."
"Please quit calling me senpai."
"You are my senpai, nonetheless."
Kyoko started to mop up her face as Oohara-san let out a small chuckle. She felt the timbre of Ren's voice resonating where she had her ear pressed to his chest. Kyoko shivered when he spoke again.
"After all, you experience nothing from the chances you never take, right?"
There was a few seconds of silence, then Kyoko heard Oohara-san reply, "Well done Ren-kun."
Ren bowed his head again, and stepped through the door to the outside. As it shut, Kyoko heard Oohara-san say softly,
"Don't worry, I've got your backs. No one will bother you."
Ren sat her down in the grass, and Kyoko turned her face up to the afternoon sun, basking in the heat as it dried the last of her tears. As she didn't want to say anything about the scene they'd just done, or the resulting emotional rollercoaster, Kyoko instead said,
"Oohara-senpai is very kind."
"Quite."
And they sat there, in quiet, companionable silence.
Ren swirled his drink in his glass as he stared at it despondently. When that didn't unearth any answers, he stared back up at the stars. But all that reminded him of, was his and Kyoko's date at the observatory. His mind went in circles like this, over and over. And all his heart did was ache. All he wanted was to be next to her right then, holding her, or talking with her. He wanted to watch her expressive face as it flickered through reactions he could provoke from her. He wanted to see her enjoy the stars as she had at the observatory.
Ren sighed. He wanted many, many things. And he knew he was a long, long way off from being able to have any of it. He set his glass down, leaning back and stretching out his legs. They'd had a nice quiet moment after shooting that scene that afternoon, but Ren hadn't felt himself grow calmer until night had fallen and the stars had come out. Maybe it was just Kyoko's love for them that was making him more relaxed, but he appreciated it nonetheless. It'd been a helluva day.
He shifted around, rearranging so he didn't feel the coolness of the bars of the roof railing against his back so much. As he did so, he felt an uncomfortable heaviness in his pants pocket. He rummaged inside and found his phone. He stared at it for a second. Then another second more. Even in his less-than-sober state, he knew it was stupid, but that didn't stop him.
He brought up their text messages and started reading through them. With every emoticon, he smiled. With every exchange of princess and knight, that smile grew. But when he came across his photo he'd sent her weeks before, of the starry night sky, his smile disappeared.
Ren knew he'd messed up. He knew it'd be a while before he'd be able to make it up to her. He knew their scene they'd shot together that afternoon was an alright beginning, but that didn't make up for his mistake. He knew that. But the most frustrating thing about it all was undoubtedly that not only had he disappointed her, he'd disappointed himself. And he'd disappointed everyone that had tried to help him out. Again.
"God why I am so useless?" He asked aloud as he thumped his head back against the roof's railing. He felt like apologizing to everyone he'd ever known, but knew that thought was silly even as it crossed his mind.
"She doesn't want apologies, dumbass." He said to himself. But how was he supposed to show that he was taking her demands seriously? He then reprimanded himself again for being useless.
"I can't meet her on the battlefield like this." He muttered. He desperately, desperately wanted to meet her there. Act six was but two weeks away. He had to be able to meet her by then.
He'd been dreaming of that moment since Shingai had first brought her up as an option for the Yoneda Yayoi role months ago. Of course, he'd not had Act Four or Six at the time, and he hadn't even realized how difficult the scenes would be until he'd gotten those scripts a couple weeks ago, but that wasn't the point. The point was, he'd promised himself then, and had promised her a week ago, that he'd do whatever it took so they could meet each other as equals and get the job done. And I have failed miserably, he thought to himself, admonishing himself again. The he scowled as he deeply understood his insecurities had caused all this. And caused trouble for her. Again.
He stared down blankly at his phone, hesitating for a moment. I made a promise. This thought was a surprisingly strong one, and it overwhelmed his slightly drunken haze, and reverberated throughout his mind. I made a promise. Promises are meant to be kept. His resolve strengthened a bit more and he set his jaw, his lips pressed tightly together in thought.
His thumb hovered over the call button. He stared at it for a second longer, but pressed down on the button before his conviction disappeared. He put his phone to his ear.
Across the ocean, thousands of miles away, a phone in the Hizuri household began to ring.
...
This was a heavy one, but thanks for reading! Hopefully this revision let it flow better.
-artsy