This chapter contains the following things that might trigger a reader: hospitals, mention of surgery and other severe injuries, mentions of death, implied s*xual assault (dream only)
xxvi
Amu had been rushed to the hospital as soon as the paramedics saw the state that she was in. They seemed surprised that she was even alive. Tadase had his arm treated and was currently waiting in the waiting room with Ikuto and the chief. While Ikuto was seated, Tadase was on his feet, walking back and forth as he couldn't help but pace nervously.
The Chief had immediately scolded Tadase on the way to the hospital for rushing in but cut him some slack because he was young and desperate. He commended Ikuto for his good work despite not doing too much besides saving Tadase's ass multiple times and cuffing some criminals. The Chief then left to check on Amu to see if she was awake or willing to talk.
Once the Chief was gone, Ikuto reached out and grabbed Tadase's arm to stop him from pacing. More than wanting to say something, he just wanted to stop Tadase from pacing, as it was making him dizzy. Still, he managed to come up with something to say.
"Hey, kid. You have yours and Amu's friends' numbers right?" he asked nonchalantly.
"Of course I do, why?" Tadase asked, stopping and looking at Ikuto with a confused expression.
"Now that Amu is safe and will probably be in the hospital for a while…we should tell everyone." Ikuto responded. "So they're aware that she's safe and can visit her."
"Oh, that makes sense." Tadase nodded his head in understanding and pulled out his phone. "Here, you can use my phone to message them, or just copy down their numbers and call them yourself."
Right as Tadase began handing Ikuto his phone, a doctor walked out of a room and stopped in front the them. Tadase looked at the doctor expectantly, nearly dropping his phone in the process, as Ikuto hadn't grabbed it properly yet.
"Is one of you 'Tadase-kun'?" the doctor asked, looking between Tadase and Ikuto. "Hinamori-san just woke up and refuses to speak until she sees you."
Tadase nodded his head, raising his hand slightly as if he was in class. "That's me. Let me just finish talking to my…brother."
"Whenever you're ready, she's in room 103." the doctor said before turning and walking into another room, looking at her clipboard.
Tadase quickly pushed the phone into Ikuto's hands, perhaps a bit to eager to see Amu. "I basically had to text all of Amu's friends when trying to figure out where Amu was when she went missing so you could check there."
"Tadase that was 3 weeks ago!" Ikuto exclaimed but Tadase had already jogged off to make his way towards Amu's hospital room, leaving Ikuto alone with Tadase's phone and no definitive way to know exactly which of Tadase's contacts were both his and Amu's friends.
Upon nearing the room the doctor said Amu was in, Tadase stopped and took a breath. He for some reason felt nervous seeing Amu after so long. After psyching himself up, he knocked on the door. Hearing a hoarse voice telling him to come in, he opens the door. He was immediately met with a weak smile when Amu realized who it was. Tadase hadn't seen Amu smile in so long… He returned the smile with one of his home, walking towards Amu's bed. The Chief was also in the room, sitting in a corner as if waiting to take a testimony. Tadase chose to ignore him.
"How are you feeling?" Tadase asked, taking Amu's hand in his.
"About as good as I look," Amu responded with a dry laugh. "I'm just glad you're here…"
Tadase gave Amu's hand a squeeze. "Don't worry, you're safe now. Everything is okay."
Amu returned the squeeze. "I'm sorry I put you through all this, Tadase-kun…"
Tadase shook his head and brought Amu's hand up gently to kiss it. "As long as you're okay now."
Tadase glanced at the Chief, who just nodded as if saying he can continue talking freely. Tadase assumed he would just take note of anything Amu said that might be useful. After all, Amu would probably feel more comfortable talking to Tadase about the situation than a police officer.
Amu gave Tadase a smile but suddenly winced in pain. Tadase looked at her in concern but she squeezed Tadase's hand once more in an attempt to reassure him. It wasn't fully reassuring but there wasn't much he could do. He sighed and pulled a chair up to the bed and reached his hand out to caress Amu's hair.
She nuzzled into Tadase's hand like a cat, which Tadase found rather cute, though her expression was rather sad as she looked at him. "Tadase-kun… I'm sorry. If…if you had never chosen to date me, this probably wouldn't have happened… M-maybe if we had never…"
Amu's sentence was cut short when Tadase—rather bravely, considering there was someone else in the room watching them—kissed Amu to shut her up. He pulled away enough to say, "Don't even think about finishing that sentence, Amu-chan. I don't care what anyone, especially my ex, thinks about us dating. Despite everything, I'm happier with you than I ever was with Saaya," he caressed Amu's cheek as he moved away from Amu again. "Being with you has been an emotional roller coaster but I wouldn't take that back for the world."
Amu sighed and touched Tadase's hand that was on her cheek. "How do you always know exactly what to say to make my heart melt?" she slowly sat up and brought Tadase in for a hug. "You really know how to make me feel better. Thank you…"
Suddenly, someone cleared their throat. At first Tadase thought it was the Chief but when he pulled away from the hug, he noticed the doctor was back. Amu's face turned bright red with embarrassment, as if the Chief hadn't just seen them kiss, even if it was brief. Maybe she had forgotten he was even in the room. The doctor seemed slightly amused at their embarrassment but then her expression immediately changed back to a serious one.
"I have the results of our tests," the doctor informed, glancing down at her clipboard once more. "But, I feel like I need to warn you…they're not pretty."
Amu, Tadase, and the Chief all listened in as the doctor recounted the several injuries and problems Amu had received while being captured. The doctor left a sheet with all the information on it and left again. The Chief took a photo of the paper and followed after the doctor, mumbling something about getting it faxed to the police station as well. Tadase wasn't even sure if he had gotten any information from sitting and observing Amu and Tadase's conversation.
There was a long silence as Amu and Tadase were left alone. Amu sat, playing with her fingers as Tadase just stared at the paper in his hands. Tadase looked at Amu and took her hand, finally breaking the silence.
"You know…it's really not that bad." he said, knowing he was half-lying. Then again, to Tadase, anything was better than her no longer being here at all.
"Yeah, sure. Because several broken ribs, a minor addiction to a drug that knocks you out, blunt force trauma ro the head and a fractured spine are totally not that bad." Amu responded sarcastically. "Not to mention my several stab/knife wounds."
"I mean…it's better than being dead…" Tadase muttered. "I'm sure the doctors will be doing whatever they can to fix everything. If you need more blood…Yuiki-san can come again!"
Amu offered a small smile as she gave Tadase's hand a squeeze. "I get you're trying to help but…I don't think those are things you should be deciding yourself, Tadase-kun."
Tadase frowned, looking at Amu's hand. "Sorry, I just really want you to be okay… Did the doctor tell you how long you'd be here for?"
Amu shook her head. "If I had to guess, considering I'll need several surgeries plus recovery time, maybe 2 or more months?"
Tadase ran his free hand through his hair. "Well, I'm glad you're not dead at least. I trust the doctors here. You will recover," He squeezed Amu's hand in return before leaning forward and ruffling Amu's hair slightly. "Will you be okay here by yourself for a few minutes? I wanted to ask the doctor a few things. I'll be back in a little bit, though. Try to get some rest, okay?"
Amu nodded and, with some reluctance, let go of Tadase's hand so he could leave. Tadase quickly kissed Amu on her forehead before standing up and making his way out of the room to see if he could find the doctor again.
Once Tadase was out of sight, Amu began coughing and clutching her sides. She'd been holding that back the entire conversation, not wanting to worry Tadase too much but it only made her hurt more. As she lay back down slowly, she groaned in pain. Everything on her body hurt but…at least she was free. She pulled the blankets up closer to her body and sighed. Maybe she'd be able to sleep her pain away. Unfortunately, being unconscious was seemingly a less traumatic experience than sleeping willfully.
In her dream, Amu was back in that horrible place. She was half naked and pressed up against the wall with the men approaching her with evil smirks. They were spewing insults left and right, including slut and whore, both making no sense since she'd never even dated anyone let alone get intimate with someone. Quite quickly, the things they were staying began making her feel uncomfortable. She slid to the cold ground, covering herself with her arms and legs.
"Come on, now, don't be shy~" one of the men cooed in a very fake sounding voice. "It won't hurt…much…"
"Yamabuki-sama said we could do anything to make you undesirable…" another man said with a sly smile, "and I think this is the perfect way."
Amu yelped and moved to crawl away but was grabbed by the ankle and pinned down. She tried to squirm but the grip only tightened. Amu closed her eyes tightly, wanting out of this. She was, at this point, aware that it was a dream but she couldn't bring herself to wake up. Amu heard someone's hands go to their belt and zipper of their pants and felt roaming hands and quickly understood what was about to happen. She let out a loud screech and kicked the closest man in the crotch, giving her enough time to get away from the men. She crawled away but didn't make it far before collapsing.
Suddenly, Amu felt someone shaking her and calling her name. Since her brain was still within the dream, she still felt a little panicked despite how familiar the voice sounded. Her heart was racing, she felt exposed despite knowing in reality, she at least had hospital garbs on, and she could barely breathe.
"Amu-chan!" Amu finally recognized Tadase's voice as shot awake with a start, panting heavily despite her throat hurting.
Due to her throat hurting, she had another coughing fit and her cheeks felt slightly wet as if she had been crying. For a second, she forgot where she was. With a sigh of relief, she remembered that she was in the hospital, safe from her captors. Tadase was looking at her in concern, which also relieved Amu for some reason. Upon seeing Amu was awake, Tadase let out a sigh and gently wrapped his arms around Amu in a very loose hug.
"What happened?" he asked, pulling away. "I came back in after 30 minutes and noticed you were asleep, but writhing about and making weird noises. Did you have another nightmare?"
Amu just nodded her head as she rubbed her eyes and cheeks. Tadase sighed and leaned in to press his lips against her forehead. He ran his fingers through her hair gently.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Amu-chan…" he mumbled, holding her close and peppering her with kisses to try to cheer her up a bit. "Do you want me to stay the night? The doctor said it was okay when I mentioned it to her."
Amu paused, partially due to hesitation but also due to Tadase's kisses distracting and tickling her. "I…I'd like that…"
Tadase smiled and pulled away, brushing some hair away from Amu's face. "Good, because I wouldn't have taken no for an answer anyway. I'll tell Ikuto-niisan that he can go home without me. Before that, though, I have something for you."
Amu looked up at Tadase with a confused expression. "Something for me…?"
Tadase nodded his head, his smile growing. "I think you're going to like it!"
Amu watched Tadase leave again, very confused. What could Tadase possible have for her already? If it was something she was going to like…was it something she had mentioned wanting before she got kidnapped? As she waiting for Tadase to come back, she adjusted her position, grunting and wincing in pain in the process.
Shortly after he left, Tadase returned, empty handed with Ikuto trailing behind him, also empty handed. If he didn't have anything in his hands did that mean the surprise wasn't a material item? Amu wasn't any less confused than she had been from the start. Tadase closed the door behind him and approached the bed with a smile on his face. Amu opened her mouth to say something but Tadase beat her to it.
"Close your eyes," he said despite moving to cover Amu's eyes with his own hand as well.
Amu complied, a confused frown plastered on her face. After a second, Amu felt Tadase's hand move from her face. She sat in silence and confusion as she heard and felt him rustling around. After a few seconds, Tadase told Amu it was safe to open her eyes. When her eyes were able to focus, a grin formed on her face. Tadase always knew how to make Amu smile, that was for sure.
In front of Amu, on the screen of Tadase's phone, was Yaya, Nadeshiko and Kairi. They all seemed to be in the same room, as well. She wasn't sure how Tadase managed to get a video call with all of them but, while she wished it was an in person meeting, this was better than nothing giving the circumstances.
"Guys…you're all here!" she said softly, her voice cracking a bit. "But…how? Why?"
"Tadase-kun contacted us," Nadeshiko responded, her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she examined Amu. "We would've preferred being in person but on such short notice…"
Amu shook her head. "This is good enough for now! I'd feel embarrassed having you all see me in this state anyway…" she turned to look at Tadase, eyes filled with affection and gratitude. "Thanks for contacting them, though. I appreciate it a lot."
Tadase smiled and pet Amu's hair gently. "Of course, Amu-chan. Anything for you."
"You better not try to kiss her with all her friends watching," Ikuto said, still by the doorway. Amu flushed and Tadase just rolled his eyes. Little did Ikuto know, the Chief had already seen them kiss anyway.
"Do you know when you leave, Amu-chii?" Yaya asked, pouting slightly "We'll definitely visit you in person when we get the chance!"
Amu shrugged, instantly regretting it because it hurt more than it should have. "I dunno. It could be a week, a month or maybe—"
Abruptly, without letting her finish her sentence, her throat closed up and threw her into a coughing fit. Having not talked this much in a long time, and her broken ribs effecting her lungs, her throat and chest burned. Tadase immediately handed Ikuto the phone and offered Amu some water, rubbing her back gently. As Amu recovered from her coughing fit, Tadase gently explained to Amu's friends that she was probably coughing due to not talking much when she was captured mixed with one of her many injuries.
Amu groaned when she finally managed to stop coughing, her throat hurting and feeling dry. She took a large gulp of water as Tadase rubbed her back, though he was still glancing over at Ikuto and the phone, where Ikuto was telling Amu's friends that they might have to hang up. While Tadase was distracted, Amu glanced down at her hands, mentally praying she wouldn't see red on them. She groaned slightly when she saw exactly what she didn't want to see. The doctor had warned Amu that she may cough up blood for a bit but she still felt scared seeing it.
"Amu-chan?" Tadase looked over at Amu after Ikuto ended the call. "Are you okay?"
Amu nodded her head slightly, clasping her hands together hoping Tadase didn't notice the blood on her hands. "I'm…fine. I just have to go to the washroom."
Tadase looked at Amu with slight concern. "Alright, I'll help you there and wait for you by the door then…"
Amu looked down and nodded semi-reluctantly. She didn't like Tadase following her around in the state she was in; she didn't want to worry him. If he had noticed the blood on her hands as he helped her walk to the bathroom, which luckily was inside the room, he didn't say anything. He just walked her to the door and waited outside patiently.
Amu locked the door behind her as she stepped in and walked up to the sink, immediately regretting looking at herself in the mirror. She focused on her hands as she washed the blood off of them. She then splashed her water on her face, which felt almost…foreign; like it wasn't even her own face. The thought terrified her. She quickly dried her face and hands and turned back to the door, unlocking it.
When she stepped out of the room, she was immediately met with Tadase, blocking her path. She tried to walk past him but Tadase didn't budge, even going as far as grabbing her arm to keep her from moving. He gave her a concerned look, which Amu returned with a, hopefully, reassuring smile. He clearly wasn't buying it.
"Amu-chan, is something bothering you?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.
Amu hesitated, thinking through her words. "I'm…really grateful to be out of there and safe…"
"But…?" Tadase immediately sensed that Amu had more to say.
"I said it earlier…but…I feel like they shouldn't be seeing me…in the state I'm in." Amu said slowly.
"What do you mean?" Tadase frowned, half tempted to gently push Amu back into the washroom so they could talk a bit more privately.
"I-I couldn't look myself in the mirror when I walked in there…" Amu responded, looking down. She felt like crying as she thought about it. "And when I went to wash my face, it…it didn't even feel like my face. That place, those people…they did a number on me. I-I feel like if it got to the point of…death, I-I would have been left almost unrecognizable."
Tadase pursed his lips, his grip on her arm unintentionally tightening. "You know how I feel about you talking about death and dying. You really don't look that different. Once you start healing and getting a proper diet back in place, you'll look just the same as you did when you started." he brushed some damp hair out the way of Amu's face. "Regardless, I really doubt any of your friends care how you look. I certainly don't. I think I'm in far too deep at this point to be prioritizing your looks over anything else."
Amu found herself leaning into Tadase's touch, perhaps due to how she had been so starved of gentle hands while being stuck in that place. "I-I'm scared Tadase-kun… There are already enough rumours going around as is…what will people think of me now?"
Tadase caressed Amu's hair, looking at her tenderly. "That's what we're here for, Amu-chan. Me, your friends, Ikuto…if anyone says anything, we'll set them straight. Though I'm sure you won't be going to school anytime soon, let alone leaving the hospital. Yyou won't have to worry about hearing the rumours for a long time, if at all."
Amu rubbed her eyes, feeling the tears brimming her tear ducts. "I'm sorry… I'm being so emotional right now for no reason. It's probably annoying, isn't it?"
Tadase shook his head. "You could never annoy me, Amu-chan. I understand you're going through a lot mentally. You just had a traumatizing experience, of course you're going to be emotional," he took Amu's hand gently. "Let's get you back to the bed. Nii-san already ended the video call but if you're up for it, I'm sure we could bring it back up."
Amu followed Tadase back to the bed. Ikuto had been minding his own business by the door, but moved aside when he heard the door behind him open. The doctor stepped inside once more. Amu, with the help of Tadase, sat on the hospital bed and looked at the doctor expectantly.
"I just got off the phone with your parents, Hinamori-san." the doctor said, causing Amu's heart to drop. "They said they're coming to see you."
"Am…I allowed to stay with her while they talk?" Tadase asked preemptively.
"If you're her boyfriend, I don't see why not," the doctor responded, "I'll go meet them and ask when they arrive. I believe the police already informed them of the situation so I'm sure you'll have a lot to talk about," the doctor turned to Ikuto, "And…will you also be staying?"
"Huh? Me?" Ikuto blinked at suddenly being called upon. "Oh, I'm just here for…moral support… Tadase is my, er, brother. Not blood related, though."
"Don't mind him, he can wait in the lobby if he plans on staying any longer." Tadase responded, looking at the doctor. "He would have been my ride home but…I think I'll stay over the night."
The doctor seemed a bit confused but nodded and left to wait for Amu's parents to arrive. Ikuto took Tadase's advice and took his leave as well, leaving the two alone again, while he headed to the lobby. Amu pulled her legs up onto the bed and rested her head against the backboard and wall, massaging her head. During that discussion, Amu had gotten a splitting headache.
Tadase noticed this and put his hand on Amu's shoulder. "Are you okay?" The question felt redundant but it had become a force of habit for him to ask.
"Of course I'm not okay," Amu responded, trying and failing to make it sound light-hearted. "But this is just a headache. I'm sure it'll pass."
"Do you need anything? More water? I can see if I can get the doctor to give you a painkiller?"
Amu shook her head and put her hand on Tadase's. "No, it's fine. Don't worry… Not that I can stop you from worrying, since you have every right to." she laughed a little sadly at the last line.
Tadase squeezed Amu's shoulder. "I don't think I'll ever not worry about you, Amu-chan. I can't help it."
"I know, I know…" Amu mumbled, glancing down. "It just…I feel like if I'm worrying you all the time, you're more like my dad or a brother than my boyfriend…"
As if on cue, a knock came from the door and Amu's parents stepped in. The first thing Amu saw and heard was her father wailing as he ran over and threw his arms around her, completely ignoring and even pushing aside Tadase. Amu tried not to seem too uncomfortable with the sudden hug, despite it hurting. She patted his back gently.
Amu's mother just stood off to the side, waiting for her husband to calm down so she could also give Amu a hug. Tadase gave her a polite nod. After an unnecessarily long hug, Amu's mother cleared her throat.
"Honey, I think you're hurting her," she said and watched as her husband immediately let Amu go at her words. With that opening, she approached Amu and hugged her gently as well. "Before we get into the nitty-gritty… how are you feeling?"
A/N: ok there are a lot of trigger warnings in this one because I'm sure there are SOME people out there afraid and/or get triggered of hospitals/surgeries/internal and external injuries. And obviously the big one. I try my best to only loosely imply any s*xual related things but i know the wording might trigger some (hence i keep it brief).
I swear it won't be as bad until...maybe after the next chapter because there's another pretty bad nightmare Amu has. And then I make up for traumatizing people by adding a buuunch of fluff and lovey-dovey-ness. (So much so that I may have gotten a bit carried away and I apologize in advance if it's cringy lol)
Ive hit the point (not this chapter but it is coming up) where I'm past where I left off my original story so I'm...kinda struggling to figure out how to end it. I want to cap it at 30 chapters at the most so I'm tryna figure out if I should have some nice moments or cap it off like a documentary or something describing what each person is doing x months later or just leave it open-ended with Amu still in the hospital but justice being served for Saaya. Rn I just have some random filler scenes (i.e Amu finally meets Utau because I wanted to include her at least once) that i might just get rid of tbh lol.
Anyway, I'm rambling as usual. Have a good day/night/evening/afternoon!