o - o - o - o - o
When Madeline was seventeen, her life began to go downhill.
Her father was a former smoker. He smoked often before meeting her mother. After meeting Madeline's mother, and subsequently falling in love with her, he vowed not to smoke again.
He didn't keep his promise.
Following the death of Madeline's mother, her father picked up smoking again, but it was far worse. He drowned his sorrows in a bottle of alcohol and a pack of cigarettes daily. It took much effort from concerned friends to make him see the error of his ways. More than that, it was the guilt. The guilt that his daughter would grow up without a father. With the loss of his wife, and no other immediate family, he was the only one who could take care of his child.
So Madeline's father quit smoking, for good this time. Unfortunately, no matter how much you try to outrun your past, sometimes it catches up to you.
Madeline's father began experiencing a persistent cough that worsened as time passed. Sometimes he would have trouble breathing; other times he would cough up blood. After these continued bouts of coughing and chest pain, Madeline's father scheduled an appointment with his doctor. The diagnosis confirmed the worst case scenario.
It was lung cancer. Specifically, small cell lung cancer. The x-ray scans revealed that the cancer was now in its extensive stage, meaning that the tumor had grown and the cancer had spread to other parts of the body. Treatment was possible, but Madeline's father had a low chance of survival.
When her father broke the news to her, Madeline was devastated. Her kind and dependable father, the one who was always there for her, had cancer? Not just any cancer, but lung cancer, the deadliest of all.
Madeline's father wanted his daughter to focus on her last year of secondary school. So she did, albeit with great reluctance. Madeline juggled school and sports while monitoring her father's health. Her father would be in and out of the hospital frequently for his chemotherapy treatment.
Madeline tasked her magical friends with observing and taking care of her father while he was in the hospital, and she could not be there for him. Inkblot flew to and from the hospital, updating Madeline about her father's current condition. Susan stayed with her father and made sure that he was sleeping or eating well.
Madeline was grateful for the presence of her friends during these troubled times. Ever since the first night she met him, Woodstock kept a constant vigil beside her while she slept. He made her feel less lonely on the nights when her father was at the hospital. Oggy was wrapped around her neck, as always, while she was at school. Sneak reminded Madeline to take care of herself and to not be overwhelmed by her emotions. She meditated and joined a support group for family members of cancer patients.
Months passed. It seemed that Madeline's father was doing better after chemotherapy. His symptoms were less severe and he was discharged from the hospital.
The best gift Madeline could ask for was having her father at home with her on Christmas day. That was all she needed. Instead, Madeline's father surprised her with a polar bear cub.
Not an actual polar bear cub. A stuffed one. It fit in her arms perfectly, with the softest fur and black marble eyes.
Madeline felt that something was still missing though. She wasn't sure what until she saw her reflection. Madeline usually kept her hair tied into two pigtails, with a maple leaf clip on each side of her head.
The thing that was missing was an accessory for her new polar bear cub. With this realization, Madeline went to her room to search in her drawers. She found the object she was looking for: a pink flower-shaped hairpin. Madeline attached the pin next to the stuffed bear's right ear.
There! A flower fit for a princess. Now you look the part, but what will your name be?
Madeline thought for a while.
Princess. Are there any names that mean princess? Hime? Miki? No...It'll have to be-
"Kumarie!"
The name felt right for Madeline. She felt strangely nostalgic, as if the name (or something similar to it) felt familiar.
Madeline was grateful for her father's gift. He knew that she had a love of animals, particularly birds, polar bears, and turtles.
The remainder of Madeline's Christmas break progressed peacefully. She would remember those pleasant days, the calm before the storm.
o - o - o - o - o
The new year brought the cancer back with a vengeance. The same symptoms, along with a host of others.
To Madeline's distress, chemotherapy had failed her father. Madeline's father chose to undergo other forms of treatment, and when those didn't work, he participated in clinical trials.
So the cycle repeated itself again. Winter turned to spring. February turned into March, which turned into April.
Madeline found herself alone more often at home. She found herself clinging to Kumarie as she fell asleep.
Eventually, treatment was no longer an option. Madeline knew that since her father was in the later stages of his cancer, he had little to no chance of surviving, but to hear her worst fears confirmed was heartbreaking. After Christmas, she had thought that things would get better.
Madeline could do nothing as her father deteriorated. All she could do was make sure her father's last months were spent with no pain. Madeline made sure her father took his medication. She worked with medical and healthcare professionals to provide her father with the best hospice care. Madeline watched as her father began to lose interest in things that he used to enjoy: gardening, watching documentaries, bird watching. He slept more often and for longer periods each time. He had difficulty eating and drinking.
Her graduation came and went. Madeline was envious of her classmates whose family came to support them. She was alone once the ceremony ended.
In the last week of June, Madeline's father became confused and delirious. When he looked at her, she could see in his eyes that he didn't know who she was. The ache in her heart remained until the first day of July.
When Madeline was eighteen, her father died.
o - o - o - o - o
The two weeks following her father's death were hectic. It felt like she was in a bubble, her mind elsewhere as her body focused on doing what was needed. Madeline contacted her father's friends and told them about his death. She made arrangements for a funeral and proper burial. Madeline took care of the will, met with an attorney, and made a list of bills that needed to be paid.
As soon as all of this was done, the bubble popped. Reality set in for Madeline. Her father was gone. She would never hear his laughter again, or eat his cooking. No more hikes, or campfire stories, or stargazing. Gone was that consistent presence throughout her life, he who had always reassured her.
Madeline was lost. She was unsure what to do with herself, where to go from here. So she fell back into old habits. Madeline shopped, she did the laundry, she cleaned the house. Everything she did only served to remind her of her father's passing: the foods he liked to eat, his clothes that were strewn about, antiques and other collectibles her father acquired during his life.
The garden was beginning to grow weeds. Madeline had taken care of it when her father was unable to. Now, she could not bring herself to do the same.
She distracted herself by watching movies, TV shows, anime, and Korean dramas. The thought of going outside and seeing happy people made her queasy. Why should the world not mourn with her? It was unfair.
Inkblot, Sneak, Susan, Oggy, and Woodstock. All of them were worried about Madeline. They wanted her to go out, talk with a therapist, and process her emotions. They knew that the way she was handling herself now did no one good, least of all her. Madeline rejected them. She said she was fine. She could handle it. They were overexaggerating.
Madeline continued like this for another month. It was August. By now, the weeds had completely overtaken the garden. Madeline felt guilty. Day by day she had watched as the weeds grew inch by inch. If her poor father could see his garden, he would be disappointed in her. After her father died, Madeline had also neglected to clean his room. The room might be dusty, but it was the memories it held that threatened to overtake her.
Madeline was cleaning the house as per usual, when she came to the door of her father's bedroom. Madeline hesitated before opening it. The curtains were open, letting the sunlight spill in. She was correct in assuming the room would be dusty. Madeline vacuumed the floor, packed her father's old clothes into boxes, and dusted everything else.
As she looked underneath her father's bed, she found a chest. The chest was locked. Madeline searched her father's desk drawers for a key. When she found it, she opened the chest. Inside of the chest was an old journal. It's brown leather cover displayed signs of wear and tear.
Madeline opened the journal. Its pages were completely filled out. She flipped to the last page. The date of the last entry was the day of her seventeenth birthday, before things started to go wrong. Her eyes scanned the final journal entry:
MY DEAR MADELINE,
IF YOU ARE READING THIS,
THEN I HAVE GONE.
I WISH I COULD HAVE STAYED WITH YOU LONGER.
BUT IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE.
SO LIVE ON.
LIVE TO SEE THE JOYS THAT LIFE CAN BRING.
FOR SORROW DOES NOT LAST FOREVER.
Tears fell from Madeline's eyes. The salty liquid stained the pages of the journal. Madeline hugged the journal close to her chest before her legs gave way beneath her. She sat on the floor in a crouched position, the journal lying discarded as her hands made her way to her face to wipe her tears.
The guilt came back full force. What was she doing spending her life like this when there was so much more out there for her to explore? In the wake of her father's death, Madeline's career as a photographer had been temporarily put on halt. She still earned money from her online store, photo prints, etc., but she had not been posting on her blog or social media.
It was in that moment that Madeline hardened her resolve to live her life the way she wanted to. She would travel the world and meet new people, just as she always dreamed of.
The pain would linger, for it never truly goes away, but it was no longer the only feeling in her heart. Madeline's newfound determination fueled her.
The rest of the day was spent taming her father's garden. Madeline did what she could to tame it for the day, but the weed killer would do the rest.
That night, Madeline rested in her bed, with Kumarie in her arms. Woodstock and Inkblot was perched on the headboard of her bed. Sneak and Oggy were hiding underneath the bed, while Susan was lying on the floor in a spare sleeping bag. The atmosphere was quiet and serene.
Madeline dozed off with a smile on her face.
o - o - o - o - o
Eyes fluttering open, Madeline yawned as her eyes blinked blearily. Her mind adjusted itself to the sight of her room and she saw all her friends wide awake and by her bedside. They were staring at her, or rather what she still held in her hold. Madeline shot them a questioning look until she felt the object of their focus move.
A startled gasp left her mouth as Madeline laid her eyes on a living, breathing polar bear cub. What?! What is this?! Kumarie is a stuffed toy! One that's not supposed to be moving!
"Kumarie?!"
The bear gazed at Madeline.
"Who?"
"Kumarie, that's your name, isn't it?"
The redubbed Kumarie peered at Madeline before squinting down at its paws. After a pause, it concluded, "Yeah! My name is Kumarie."
In the back of her mind, Madeline noted that Kumarie had a cute, high pitched voice.
There was nothing left to do but to take this new development in stride.
"Kumarie, do you like pancakes?"
"Yes!"
To Some hetalian: It's no problem. Your review wasn't harsh. To answer your question, no, there won't be any 2Ps in this story, just the regular countries. Also, it'd be cool if you made an account because I can't reply to guest reviews directly. Plus, if you make an account, you're able to reply back to my responses.
"Kumari" can mean many things in many languages, such as "princess", "goddess", "cloudy", etc.
For anyone who is a family member, friend, or themself going through a tough time due to cancer, my condolences. If you have lost a loved one due to cancer, my heart goes out to you. I tried researching and making the symptoms and stages of lung cancer accurate. Everyone has a different way of mourning or grieving, so I hope Madeline's behavior does not come across as odd.