Adam and Brian didn't make it home from Avery until late afternoon. Hannah, Ford and I were sitting in the living room; me holding Starr and giving her a bottle and Hannah making a list with Ford of some of the last minute things he was going to need at college. He was due to go in just over a week, a few days before Guthrie and I started back at school. He'd gotten into quite a few colleges, but he had chosen to go to Crane's alma mater, UC Davis which was a couple of hours away from home, but still close enough that he could come back home fairly easily.

My oldest brothers looked tired and a bit discouraged when they came in the front door; Brian especially looked completely wiped out. They took off their hats and flung them towards the hook near the front door. They both missed, but neither of them bothered to go and pick up their hats.

"How did it go?" Hannah asked, getting up to kiss Adam hello.

"Did you manage to track down Destiny or find out where she might be?" asked Ford.

"Nope," said Adam, taking a seat on one of the armchairs and pulling Hannah down to sit with him. "We went to the last address Brian had for her and asked some of the other people in the building, but seems she left there six months ago and left no forwarding address. And then we went to the diner she used to work at, but the manager said she quit there while she was still pregnant. We even went to the bar where she and Brian met, but no one there could tell us anythin' about her either."

"Oh dear. Has Charlie had any luck?" Hannah asked.

"About the same luck that we've had, which is none," Brian said.

He had come to sit next to me and Starr and now he took one of the baby's tiny hands and stroked her cheek.

"How's she been?"

"Good," I said, "We gave her a bath earlier."

"Heidi's been a big help," Hannah said.

Brian smiled at me tiredly. "Thanks, kiddo. I appreciate it."

"I've made a doctor's appointment for her with Dr Meyer tomorrow," Hannah said. "I can take her if you want me to."

"I'll see how tomorrow pans out," said Brian.

"So what do we do now about Destiny?" Ford asked.

"Doesn't she have any friends you can ask?" I said.

"I'm sure she does; I just don't know them. I don't know her all that well," Brian said. He looked embarrassed. I could understand why. He and Adam were always lecturing my brothers about safe sex; I had heard them tell the boys countless times- well, Daniel and Evan mostly- that it only took one moment of carelessness to make them a father for life, and now here Brian was with a baby from a one night stand.

"I think Charlie's gonna file her as a missing person," Adam said. "That way, if she turns up anywhere, the police department will be notified.

"She might want to stay missing," Hannah said.

"Bri," I said, a thought occurring to me. "If you don't know her well, and you only met her a couple of times, then how'd she know where we live? To leave Starr I mean?"

"Very good question," said Adam.

"I have no idea… maybe I mentioned the name of the ranch to her or somethin'," Brian said, taking Starr from me now that she had finished her bottle. He expertly held her up over his shoulder and patted her back to wind her. She immediately let out a huge burp which belied the tiny size of her. We all laughed.

"Thatta girl," he said.

"She might be sick on you," I said. "She was earlier when Hannah winded her."

Hannah got up off the armchair. "I'll get you a cloth."

"She must have been watching the ranch though," I said, thinking again about Destiny, "To make sure she left Starr here when we were all gone. And I bet she was watching to check that we discovered her okay."

"You don't know that for certain," Ford pointed out.

"Here you go," Hannah said, coming back into the room with the cloth. She slung it over Brian's shoulder, and he smiled at her in thanks.

"No… but she could have left her anywhere. A hospital, or a train station, or she could have given her to social services if she didn't want her," I continued. "If she cared enough about Starr to come all the way out here, I bet she stayed to make sure she was okay."

"What's this?" Hannah asked, and I quickly repeated my first point.

"You've got a point," Hannah said.

"Well, we're not goin' to know for certain," Adam said, "We'll have to hope that Charlie gets a lead soon.

"How did Crane get on trackin' down Starr's birth certificate?" Brian asked.

As if by magic, the door opened and Crane walked in, followed by Daniel.

"Good timin'," Adam said, "We were just talkin' about if you'd managed to get Starr's birth certificate."

"I sure did," Crane said.

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Brian.

"There's no father listed on this," he said, "But that doesn't mean anything."

"Yeah," said Brian.

"Why wouldn't she put Brian's name on the birth certificate if she though he was Starr's father though?" I asked.

"The father has to sign it," Brian explained. "Otherwise, a woman could put any old person's name on the birth certificate."

He scanned the birth certificate with one hand, taking a break from winding Starr. "Her middle name is Bright. Starr Bright Fuller."

"That's some name. Not very McFaddeny," Daniel said.

I felt an immediate need to defend Starr, even though Daniel hadn't really said anything bad about her; he'd just commented on the whimsical nature of her name.

"I like it!" I protested. "It's mystical."

"You would!" Daniel said, but then he smiled at me to show he was just teasing me.

"How old is she?" Hannah asked.

"Let me see… she was born on May 2nd 86," Brian said.

"You were right when you guessed she was around three months, hon," Hannah said to Adam.

Adam nodded and then asked Daniel how far he and the others had gotten in the chores that Adam had asked them to get done while he, Brian and Crane were away that afternoon and the talk turned to that.

"I'd better get supper started," Hannah said when there was a lull in the conversation. "Heidi, can you help me please?"

I sighed internally but agreed because Hannah was pregnant, and I didn't like her to get too tired. But I would, I vowed, be such a successful career woman when I was older that I would have someone to cook and clean for me.

/

I got a chance to talk to Adam after supper that evening about going on a date with Josh. I knew that time was running out- we were supposed to go out the following evening and I hadn't asked permission yet. I looked at him furtively during supper, trying to work out what kind of mood he was in, but I couldn't tell. He looked tired, but he didn't seem particularly grouchy, so I'd just have to bite the bullet. When he told Hannah quietly that he was going outside to finish up some evening chores, I waited a couple of minutes and then slipped out the back door to join him.

It was a balmy evening, but the heat from the day had dissipated. There were still some remnants of light left; squinting against the setting evening sun, I could see Adam in the corral, running his hands up and down one of the heifer's legs. She was standing, obediently, letting him do it.

I headed down there to join him. When I got there, I leaned against one of the upper slats of the corral.

"Hey," he said in greeting, when he saw me, not looking up as he continued to check the cow.

"Hey, whatcha doing?"

"Daniel mentioned that #43 was limpin' earlier so I just wanted to check she was okay."

"Oh… and is she?"

"Seems to be. I can't find anythin' the matter with her."

"That's good."

Adam stopped what he was doing then and looked up at me.

"Do you want somethin'?"

"What makes you think I want something? Can't I just come down here and hang out with my favorite big brother?" I said lightly, smiling at him.

"Ha!" Adam said. He stood up. "Now I know you want somethin'."

"Well… actually I do need to ask you something…" I said.

"Come on then. Out with it."

"Remember on Saturday night when I went to Olivia's house? Well, I met a boy there."

Adam's eyebrows raised. "A boy, huh?"

"Yes. His name is Josh and he's new in town. And anyway, we got talking and stuff and then at the end of the night, before Crane picked me up, he asked for my number and then yesterday he called here and asked me out."

"Where to?"

"Oh… I don't know," I admitted. "He didn't say."

"Isn't that somethin' you might have wanted to ask?" Adam said, folding his arms. His face at that moment was inscrutable and I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Yea, I guess so. I kind of just…forgot."

"How old is this guy?" Adam asked then.

Ah, the sticking point.

"He's going into senior year," I admitted.

"Heidi-" Adam began warningly, but I interrupted him, trying to head him off.

"I know he's a little older, Adam, but he's a nice guy and I really like him. And I mean, it's only one date for one evening for a few hours."

"I'm aware of that, but-"

"And I am 15 you know."

"Yes, but-"

"And-"

"Heidi, stop interruptin' me," Adam said, his voice approaching scold mode.

"Sorry."

"Firstly, I'm well aware that you're 15. But you're just 15 and-"

"I've been 15 for three months-"

"Heidi!"

"Sorry, sorry," I said, and then I zipped my mouth closed to show that I wasn't going to interrupt him again.

"As I was saying, yes you're 15, but the difference between 15 and 18 is a lot at your age."

"He's 17," I said.

"Whatever, he's about to be a senior. I was a senior boy once too, you know. And the difference between a senior and a sophomore in terms of expectations in relationships is huge. Plus, you've met this boy how many times- once? You don't really know anything about him."

"It's just a date though. One date, Adam. And yea, I've only met him once, but he's Frankie Flaherty's cousin."

"Who's that?"

"One of the guys that Olivia and the other girls are friends with," I said, obviously leaving out the part about Guthrie's warnings about Frankie and the other boys. And conveniently, the part about Josh having already kissed me. I knew that Adam would think he was too forward if I told him that.

"Please, Adam. Please please let me go."

Adam looked really torn. I could see that he was wrestling with himself over whether to grant me permission or not. I gave him another pleading look.

He held up a finger. "One date."

"Oh thank you, thank you," I squealed, climbing over the corral fence to join Adam on the other side throwing my arms around his middle and giving him a hug. It was a gesture I had been doing with him ever since I was little. He patted my back.

"And you're to call him and find out where he's takin' you. And I want him to come into the house so we can meet him."

"Okay," I said, looking up at him. "But will you promise to behave? Not be really embarrassing and ask him too many questions?"

Adam looked down at me and grinned. "No, Heidi."

/

I found some time the next morning to call Josh. I wanted to wait until the house was quiet before I did it as I didn't want prying ears to hear. Brian and Hannah had taken Starr to the doctor for a general check-up and the rest of my brothers were outside. I asked him where we were going that evening and he told me that there was a new movie out with Matthew Broderick called Ferris Bueller's Day Off that we could catch. I also told him that my brothers wanted to meet him before we went out.

"That's no problem, Heidi. The movie's not until 8 anyway," he said, "And I'm happy to come in and say hi. I'm looking forward to seeing you later."

I put my hand up to my heart because I'm sure it skipped a beat.

"Me too," I squeaked before we said goodbye.

When I got off the phone, I had to sit down because I felt a bit dizzy with both excitement and nerves. I sat there another couple of moments and then called Olivia to fill her in and consult with her about what I should wear.

/

Crane and I made lunch for everyone as Hannah and Brian still weren't back with Starr from the doctor. We talked about school beginning again the following week, and he advised me to take some AP classes.

"You're more than capable enough," he said.

"I don't know if they'll let me because of my finals grades at the end of freshman year," I said.

Because I had been in such a terrible emotional state, I had found studying and concentrating very difficult and although I had passed everything, my grades had been nowhere near the straight 4.0 average that I was used to.

"I think it'll be okay," Crane said. "Hannah and Adam went to see your guidance counsellor and the academic counsellor last year when everything was going on with you and explained the situation."

"They did?" I said, surprised. "I didn't know that."

"Yea, they wanted it on file so it wouldn't affect your academic chances this year."

"Oh… that was really good of them," I said.

"Yea, and you should sign up for some extra-curricular activities. Like debate team for instance. Colleges love that kind of thing."

"Debate team? Why debate team?"

Crane laughed. "Because you like to argue. Might as well learn to do it properly."

/

Brian and Hannah arrived back with Starr when the rest of us had just sat down to eat lunch.

"Everything okay with her?" Adam asked as they took their places at the table. Hannah sat down with Starr while Brian busied himself making her bottle.

"Here, let me take her, hon," Adam said and lifted Starr out of Hannah's arms. He cradled her. Mercifully, she was quiet. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes while he stroked her cheek with one finger.

"Yes, she's in good health apparently, although when we told him about Starr's crying in the evenings, he said she may turn out to have colic. She's only been here a couple of days though so only time will tell," Hannah said. "Could just be because this place and us are new to her. And because she misses her mother."

"What's colic?" Guthrie asked.

"It's when a baby cries because they have a sore belly," Evan said with authority.

When the rest of us looked at him, surprised, he said defensively, "What? I know a bit about babies too, you know."

"Did you ask about how to go about establishing Starr's paternity?" Crane asked.

"Yea," said Brian. "Apparently there's a test you can do that doc says is highly accurate. It costs quite a bit of money though."

"How much?"

"Around $500 apparently."

Adam whistled. "That's a helluva lot."

"Can we afford it?" Hannah asked, looking worried.

"We're going to have to," Adam said grimly.

"I'll check the books. See what we can work out," Crane said.

/

I spent the rest of the day in a state of nervous anxiety before my date. I was so excited and yet so nervous at the same time. Every time I thought about Josh, my stomach filled completely with monster butterflies.

I had flung everything out my closet onto my bed and the floor when there was a knock at the door and then Hannah popped her head round.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Yea," I said, flinging another top out of my closet onto the bed.

"Wow, looks like a flea market in here," she said.

"I have nothing to wear, Hannah!" I said, throwing my hands up in despair.

Hannah laughed and sat down on my bed. "Don't be silly, you have lots of clothes."

"But nothing I can wear on a date!" I said.

"Let's go through some of your clothes together."

The two of us rifled through my clothes and I tried on a few outfits for Hannah until we decided on a pair of black jeans and a tight black top with an oversized bold pink blazer that I had seen in a shop in Sonora one time shopping with Olivia and then saved up money to buy. It was miles away from typical ranch wear or from the kind of thing that anyone in our area would wear out, but that's why I liked it.

"Very chic," Hannah said. "Are you excited?"

"Very," I said. "But also really nervous too."

"That's natural," Hannah said.

"I just like him so much, Hannah," I said.

"I remember feeling that way at your age too."

"Hannah? Will you keep Adam in line this evening, when Josh comes? And Brian too, if he's there?

Hannah smiled at me sympathetically. "Worried your brothers are going to grill him?"

"Like a steak," I said.