I was beside myself with worry by the time school ended. My mind was racing in panic and I couldn't think clearly which often happens to me when I feel overwhelmed about something. I guess I'm not so good under pressure. Guthrie had stayed behind at school for soccer team try-outs so I couldn't even talk to him on the ride home, and none of my friends got the same school bus home that I did. I had planned to stay on at school too, to talk to Mr Fraser about joining debate team. But I knew I'd never be able to concentrate- there would be plenty of time during the week to talk to him. It was more important, I decided, to get home and give Olivia a call to see if she was alright. Our fight at the weekend faded into unimportance at this point. What would I say though? "Hey Liv, how you feeling? Did you know that there's a rumour going around school that you slept with three guys at the weekend?" And what if she didn't know? As her friend, surely I had to tell her so that she wouldn't be unprepared for when she came back to school. It wasn't true- I knew that much- Olivia would never do that. I imagined what I'd like to do to the boys who'd started the rumors- it was satisfying to think of my fist connecting with their noses. Over lunch, I'd ascertained that the boys that Olivia had supposedly slept with were part of the group that my girlfriends had been hanging out with all summer, the boys that had been at the party when I had met Josh. Paul and Wade and Frankie. Frankie, Josh's cousin.

I walked home from the bus stop quickly, intent on heading straight for the upstairs phone and dragging it into Adam and Hannah's room so I could speak privately. Hopefully Hannah wouldn't be resting in there. But as I approached the house up our driveway, I saw that the sheriff's car was parked outside. I walked even quicker up the driveway and reached the picket fencing outside the house when I heard a piercing whistle and my name being called. I turned around and saw Evan, down by the corral, grooming a horse I didn't recognise.

He motioned that I should come down to the corral, but I shook my head.

"I need to get inside," I yelled down at him, loud enough so that he could hear me.

"Just wait a minute and come down here," he yelled back.

I ignored him and made to walk up the drive but again, I heard a whistle and Evan's voice calling me once more. When I turned back, I saw that he was walking toward me quickly. It took him no longer than a minute and when he got to me, I said "What?" impatiently.

"Charming! Nice to see you too," Evan said.

"I'm sorry, I just need to get inside and do something," I said, trying to sound more conciliatory. It wasn't Evan's fault I was so stressed.

Evan put a hand on the fence and propped a foot up on the lowest rail to face me.

"You can't go in there just now."

"Why not?"

"Charlie's in there. I think he's got some news about Destiny."

"What kind of news?" I said, "Have they found her? Is she alright?"

"I don't know," Evan said. "I was asked to keep a look out for you and Guth and keep you outside until he was gone."

"And you always accuse me of being dramatic. What's going on Ev? Who asked you to look out for me and Guthrie?"

"Adam. Charlie told him it was sensitive."

"Well," I said impatiently, "I think I'll just go on up and see what's happening."

But as I turned away from Evan, he grabbed my arm.

I tried to pull away, but his grip was too firm.

"What you doing? Let go of my arm!" I said.

"Adam told me to keep you guys outside and that's what I'm going to do."

I studied his face for a moment- he had that stubborn look about him. The look that all us McFaddens get when we want to dig our heels in. After a moment though, his face softened though he didn't let go of my arm.

"C'mon, Heidi, don't make somethin' out of nothin'. Come down to the corral with me; you can tell me about your first day back. I'm sure they're not gonna be much longer inside."

I didn't go up against Evan a whole lot- there wasn't much need to- he mainly stuck to teasing me, but now I saw that I had two options. I could wrench my arm away and make a scene or I could do what he said. I was desperate to get inside and use the phone, but if Adam has asked him to guard the house, so to speak, then he wouldn't look kindly on me barging on up in there. I didn't want to be grounded for longer.

I sighed. "Fine, I'll come down to the corral with you."

Evan looked relieved; I'm sure he had no desire to get into it with me either. He let go of my arm and we walked slowly down to the corral together.

"Did you catch any of what Charlie came to say before you came outside?" I asked.

"Nope."

"It would be great if Destiny's been found, wouldn't it?" I said, "For Starr I mean. So she can have her mom."

"Mmm," Evan said, non-committedly.

"I hope she's not in any trouble though."

"We'll find out soon enough," Evan said.

We reached the corral and Evan instructed me to stay on the outside of the fence.

"She's a character, this one," he said, referring to the horse in the corral. He passed through the gate and then fastened it from the inside. I leaned on the outside of the fence with my arms on the top rail and watched as he approached the horse and patted its side and stroked its nose. Evan had a magic touch with horses. All animals really. He could make them do things that no one else could which was why, despite his youth, more and more people brought their horses to him to work with if there was a problem. He picked up the dandy brush that he had been working with before and started grooming the horse again in firm flicking motions. I stepped back, keen to avoid the dirt from the brush being flicked my way.

"Where's Guth?" Evan asked.

"Trying out for the soccer team."

Evan nodded. "How was the first day back?"

I hesitated. I wouldn't go to Evan to talk about how I was feeling or confide in him if I had problems. Guthrie would- he would go to Evan or Ford whereas I preferred to go to Daniel.

"It was fine," I said, trying to sound breezy. "Same as other first days- you know what it's like."

"Yea. Boy am I glad that I'm finished school," he said.

"I'll bet the teachers feel the same way," I teased him

Evan grinned. "Most probably. Apart from Mrs Coots. She loved me. She told Adam and Hannah at a parent teacher conference that she couldn't get mad at me because I'm so charming."

"She was probably drunk," I said.

Evan laughed.

I looked at my watch impatiently.

"What's got you so riled up to get inside anyway?" he said. "It's not like you'll have much homework to get done- it's the first day."

"I've just got some stuff I have to do."

"What stuff?"

"Just stuff, Ev."

Evan raised his eyebrows but he didn't look at me- he continued to groom the horse.

"Suit yourself."

The two of us stood there, talking a little while longer. I found out that the horse belonged to the animal rescue charity that he had been doing some work for. Evan was rehabilitating the horse who'd been abused by their former owner and hopefully, she would become fit to be rehomed one day.

"I don't understand it, who'd want to hurt an animal?" I said.

Evan's face clouded over. "There's some sick people in this world. They'd just better hope I never get my hands on them."

He pointed with his head in the direction of the house.

"Seems like they're finished up now."

I turned around to see Charlie walking down our front steps accompanied by Brian and Hannah. I quickly started walking up toward the house. Charlie got into his car and Brian and Hannah got into the truck. I reached them just as Brian had started the ignition. I could see that he had put the car into gear, but I knocked on the window on the passenger side anyway. Hannah rolled the window down and smiled at me, but Brian looked impatient. Angry even.

"Hi sweetie, how was the first day back?" Hannah asked me.

"Fine. Where you guys going?"

"We just have something we need to take care of. You'll find out later," Hannah said.

"It is about Destiny? Is that why Charlie was here?" I asked.

Hannah opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, Brian said snappily, "Hannah just told you you'll find out later. Now go on inside now, we've got to get goin'."

"Alright, Bri, there's no need to bite my head off," I said, and then, before he could retort or tell me off for backtalking, I walked away up toward the house. I didn't turn around again but I heard the sound of the car roaring down our driveway.

When I entered the house, I saw that Starr was asleep in her crib in the corner of the living room and Adam and Crane were standing facing each other next to the fireplace, deep in serious conversation about something. They stopped abruptly when I entered.

"Hey, how was school? Adam said, his customary greeting every day when we arrived home.

"Fine," I said, impatiently. Who cared about school when there was so much going on here. I gestured over my shoulder with my thumb.

"What's going on here? Why was Charlie here? And where's Hannah and Brian gone?"

My brothers exchanged a glance.

"Is it about Destiny?" I pressed on.

"Charlie was here about Destiny, yes," Adam said.

"Has she been found?"

Again, my brothers exchanged a silent look of communication. It was maddening.

"Possibly," Crane said.

"Possibly? What does that mean?"

"Sit down, little one," Crane said.

I wanted to ask why I needed to sit down, but Crane looked so serious at that moment, so grave, and so did Adam that I sat down on one of the couches. Crane came to sit on the coffee table, facing me, but Adam stayed where he was at the fireplace, watching me. Crane looked around at Adam, as if unsure of something but Adam nodded once. I felt a knot forming in my stomach. I knew I was going to hear something terrible.

Crane cleared his throat. "Heidi, Charlie was just at the house because he came to give us some news. A woman's body was found yesterday, and she's not been identified. But her physical description matches Destiny."

I was quiet for a moment, trying to take in what Crane was telling me.

"A body…" I said after a few moments, "Like a dead body?"

Crane nodded and leaned forward slightly.

"The thing is, we don't know if it is her. That's why Brian and Hannah have gone with Charlie to the morgue. To provide an identification. Or not, as the case may be."

"But Hannah's never met her!"

"She's gone with Brian for moral support," Adam said, then. When I looked in his eyes, I could see regret there. And worry.

"You let her go? She's pregnant!" I said.

Adam smile wryly.

"Believe me, I tried to stop her, but you know Hannah when she gets a mind about something."

Crane reached out and took one of my hands. He eyed me searchingly.

I stared stupidly at him for a few more moments. My mind was swimming. I felt like I might start crying but I swallowed the lump in my throat. This wasn't about me.

"It might not be her, though, right?" I asked.

Crane nodded. "Right, it might not be."

"Doesn't she have any family or friends that could go?" It seemed impossible to me that Brian of all people, someone she hadn't seen in over a year could be the only person who could identify her.

"Apparently not," Adam said. I must have been looking at him incredulously because he added, "I know it's hard for you to believe, but there are some people who don't have any family. Or friends."

"How did she die? This person I mean?" I asked.

"The police aren't rightly sure yet," Crane said, "But it doesn't seem like it was natural causes."

"You mean like murder?"

Crane nodded.

I suddenly felt sick. Very sick, like I might throw up. Crane and Adam must have seen it too, because Crane moved to sit next to me and put his hand on my thigh as a soothing gesture and Adam came to sit opposite me on the coffee table.

"I know it's a lot to take in. And it's horrible news. But we don't know for certain yet, so as best we can, we need to try to get on as normal until Brian and Hannah return, okay?" Adam said.

"Okay," I whispered.

"I'm gonna take care of supper in a minute and keep an eye on Starr while Adam finishes up outside. Why don't you come help me and tell me about your first day back," Crane said.

I nodded at him.

Crane pulled me to him quickly and kissed the top of my head before letting me go.

I went upstairs first, to put my bag in my bedroom. When I got there, I sat down on my bed for a moment, my head swimming, trying to process what I'd just been told. It couldn't be Destiny! It just couldn't! That would mean that Starr would forever be motherless and that would be just too terrible for words. Why had my brothers even told me? They never usually told me anything, so why had they told me this time if they didn't even know if the body was Destiny's. And then, I realised with a jolt that because they usually withheld things from me, they must have some degree of certainty that the body was Destiny. My body felt heavy and I wanted to sleep, but Crane might need help if Starr started crying and I wanted to talk to him anyway. Maybe find out more. I was heading down the stairs when I remembered I still had to call Olivia.

I'm so sorry it takes me a long time to update. I ache to write more often but 16-hour days at work often makes it impossible because I come home and collapse into bed. Thanks to the people still reading this and engaged with it: I appreciate you so much!